We have with us, Bonez and Fofo. Hey. I love the intro. I appreciate that. Bonez and Fofo. It started out as a joke, right? Bonez was because of the collar bones, right? Yes, exactly. So updated. Well researched, yes. I love it. I like it. Fofo is because I told her a story about my brother. We were fighting and he wanted to say to me, "You mofo." He stuttered. "You fofo." I told her that story. She laughed so hard. That same night I called her Bonez, and ever since, she said, - "Oh, you're Fofo and I'm Bonez."
- Wow, that's an endearing pet name, Fofo. And then now, we have a lot of PG definitions for Fofo. Fofo in Portuguese means... cute. - So you're cute, then?
- That's how we define it to kids. When we need to explain to them. But you know, your love story is so interesting. You met in 2010? Yes. I was 20 and you were 22. We even know the date. The date was... - September 28.
- You know the date. - Wow.
- September 28, for sure. I memorize it by heart. What were your first impressions? My first impression was she was cold. So I gave her my jacket. Give her a jacket. I immediately did. Is that a win? That's what happened. That was my first impression. Although, before that, maybe half an hour before, I saw her coming into the club, the venue. It was an event. And I was like, "Oh, she's cute." And I went back. I was with the boys. You already saw that she's beautiful. "Hey, she's cute." - Okay, maybe later.
- You already knew that she was Megan? Oh, not yet. I just saw that there was a cute girl who came in. - You had no idea who she was?
- She was far. About two times further. You were able to spot her? What was my first impression of you? I didn't really think anything of him. I read something that said that you felt like he was too talkative. I read that. Well, he did talk to me. And I don't think I ever had a conversation like that with someone. But I didn't really look into it, because I had a boyfriend that time. So for me, I wasn't going to entertain him because I was in a relationship with someone else. So I just talked to him like normal. So I didn't think much of it yet. I didn't even know we had a common friend. Yes. So I think it's when we found out that we had a common friend. Maybe a few weeks later, I found out that she was single. And there it is. She was single during your second encounter? Yes. You met at a bar? Yes. But by chance. By chance. It just so happened that because I was newly single, - my friends said-
- I used to go out a lot. Yes, you do. They said, "We need to take you out." "Meet some boys." I said, "I'm not ready." "I can't do it." Mending a broken heart. Yes. So that night, when we met again, they actually left him at a table with me. So we ended up talking. And everytime, he would ask me a question. - One question, one answer.
- She was hard to talk to that time. Yes. And broken hearted. In my mind, it feels so wrong for me to be talking to someone right after a break up. Am I over my ex at this point or what? I don't know. It was a bit weird to talk to you at that time. I got it. I really get it. I mean, especially for the guys, when you talk to a girl for the first time, it's hard if there's a barrier. We feel that. One word answer. Guarded. - Seems like she's not interested.
- Yes. - But it wasn't so bad.
- You pursued? It wasn't so bad because at least she answers. What's hard is if the girl doesn't answer. "Hey, how are you?" And then- Nothing. Walk away. - Look for your friends.
- She would answer but... At least she does, right? I said, "Okay, let's give this a chance." And then eventually, she loosened up during that night. I think after that encounter, it happened throughout the week since my friends really wanted to take me out, he would always be out with friends that time. It just so happened that every time I was out, he was also out. When did you feel comfortable talking to this person? He's really nice to talk to. Nice to be with. Nice to hang out with. For me, definitely the first few times that we hung out. I felt connected to him because I don't think that I've ever had a conversation with a guy that I enjoyed as much as I enjoyed talking to him. It's like our conversations were never-ending. And there was always something to talk about. Even if I don't know what we're talking about. He would teach me, you know, about different things. Open my eyes to different things that I wasn't exposed to. And until one time he invited you to his house? Yes. You did not know his family would be there? He invited me to his house a day after he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I asked her to be my girlfriend January 6, which was my birthday. - So my joke with her,
- That's the reason why he invited me. A birthday gift to myself, a girlfriend. Wow, really! That was the surprise. That's how he asked you? His birthday gift was you. Later on, that became the joke. It seemed hard to say no to him, it's his birthday. It's hard to say no because it's his birthday. Okay, when he asked you, "Will you be my girlfriend?" what did you feel? I was shocked. But I really liked Mikael. I really really liked him. And I just wanted to follow my instinct that he's a great guy. And I want to enjoy this moment. So finally, you said yes. The next day, he invited you to meet his family. Oh my god. When I drove up to their house, from walking outside the car, you'd see their dining room right away. And of course it was nighttime, and you see everyone inside. Their dining room was fully lit. And then when I got down the car, all of them looked at me. "She's here." Who's this? Did they already know? No, they didn't know. That's the time I announced that, "Oh by the way, I have a girlfriend." So all of them were like, "Who's this?" "Why is she here?" "And why don't we know her?" If you're such a big family, that's a big deal. One of your brothers suddenly having a girlfriend. Why so sudden? Yes. It was your birthday yesterday, and now you have a girl with you. Who is she? So at that point, I was just like, "Okay, what should I do and not do?" All I know is that I felt so awkward because he had such a big family there. What was your family's first impression of her? To be honest with you, at that time, they weren't sure. "What's happening?" "Are you serious, Mikael?" Because it was all of a sudden. Was she the first girl? No, she's my second girlfriend. This was some sort of whirlwind romance. It was only a hundred days - since we've met.
- And suddenly, we're officially a couple. And during that time, I wouldn't see my family because I was working. So I'd rarely go home to that house. And all of a sudden, I come home for dinner with a girlfriend. So they weren't sure about all of it. I think when they found out that I was in showbiz, they were like, "Are you sure?" "She might be dating someone else too." When did you feel, for you, at least for you as a guy, that she's the one? I think it was later that year. Maybe like 6 to 8 months after we got together. I can honestly remember very clearly, I was in our bed, I was thinking about it. I was enjoying this moment with her. And I just said, I really enjoy being with her. I really love this person. So that was the first time. And then the second time was when I suddenly decided to ask her to get married. So we were, again, together. It was at night. We were relaxing, we had good conversation. Usually it always happens after good conversation. 2014? Yes. - He proposed.
- Yes, 2014. No big gesture, no grand scenes. Which is just what I like. Secretly, 2014, you were engaged. But you publicly announced it in 2017 to the public. No. We announced that we were boyfriend and girlfriend officially. In 2017? In 2017. - Yeah, you're right.
- So super secret? Yes. But everyone knew that Mikael is your boyfriend that time? Because we know that when she won that her boyfriend is... Although you both weren't so open, but people knew that there's a special someone in the name of Mikael. It was definitely an open secret to the press people, people that we work with, our colleagues. But they did not know we were engaged. Why did it become a conscious effort to not announce it to everybody? Actually, we talked about not telling our families, especially our moms. Because? Because if my mother and her mother finds out, everybody will know. Mothers are like that. And also, we did not know how we wanted our wedding to happen at that point. Do we want an intimate one? Do we want to invite a lot of people? So for us to avoid the stress, let's not tell anyone. We didn't announce any engagement. We just got married. That's when people knew? Yes. When we posted the photo after we got married... 2020? Yeah, at 3pm, we got married. Right after the wedding, we said, "Okay, can I have a photo?" "I will post it now." I just posted it. That was your formal announcement. We got together, we're engaged, we're married. Yes. All in one. So that there's no more questions asked. Do you think that that's the secret as to why it worked and the relationship lasted for so long because you were keeping your relationship private? I think it worked because we did what felt right for us. But in your YouTube channel, you're sharing bits and pieces of your life together. How did your YouTube channel come about? How did that start? Well the YouTube channel started around 2013. It started with me. Since 2013, wow. Yeah, super early. That was the start. And then I realized that I also wanted to tell and share my stories of my travels with my family, friends, and loved ones. But I don't want to be repetitive. She doesn't like that too. We'd meet a group, and then her group, then we have to tell them about it. Then my family, we'd also tell them. And my friends, we'd have to do the same thing. So I was like, let's make a vlog. And we would say that if they want to know what our trip was like or something, just watch this. We really needed that. That was the purpose. Yes. So you don't need to tell the whole story to your families when you travel. And you can go back to it, over and over again. And you get a small income out of it. So I was like, "Okay, yes!" But we have a conscious effort. Our conscious effort was not showing sweetness in the vlog. We won't kiss or hold hands. Even when you were married? When we weren't announced. Prior to announcing that we were together. That was our conscious effort. So that we're still individuals and not necessarily a couple. How did you handle that time she got into Miss World? When she got in, and won. I like the one getting into it because I remember this conversation that we had. I was unsure at that time. 2010, you were together. 2013, you joined Miss World. But in 2012, I was already considering it. And then I told him, I don't know if I could do it. And he said, why don't you try? Instead of eventually having a "what if" right? And then you keep thinking, "I should have joined." "I wish I'd done it." But Bonez, if you're joining, give your 1000%. He said that? Yes. It couldn't be half-baked. I remember we had this conversation. Before we went home, we were talking and she was telling me, she was letting her feeling out. And I told her, if you're going to go for it, go for it 1 million percent. And me, if you ask me, I think you should because a lot of people yearn for this opportunity. And you have this opportunity in front of you. I said, go for it. - But if you'll do that, don't be passive about it.
- Don't go half-baked. Don't be shy. Yes. Literally the day after she gave the people a call for pageant group, training immediately started. She just went for it. And then it happened automatically, she started working for it. From that point, I can clearly see the shift. The fire in her eyes. He said, "You know, what's important is you give your all." So at that time, even if we didn't really see each other a lot, I really felt his support. So before getting into Miss World, that was a really huge factor. He pushed me. Cheerleader. Number 1 supporter. Yes. And he gave me the confidence. He really did. Because I'm a natural follower. I don't think that I'm a natural born leader like Mikael and his personality. He was trying to help me become my own person so I could make my own decisions and I don't have to rely on other people to decide for me. What was the challenge at that time? Or was there one? in the relationship. Definitely... I guess... The distance, I think, was one. Not really. Well it was okay because it gave us a chance to work on what we wanted to. So it gave you a chance to work on your acting, your career and it gave me a chance to focus on Miss World and the things that I wanted to do. So the separation, physical separation, from each other was good for us as individuals. You both had growth? - A lot.
- Super. Because at that time, I was just starting in showbiz. And the skills you need to succeed in showbiz: Acting, singing, dancing, hosting. Zero. I didn't have it. As in starting from zero. So it was really difficult for me. I was struggling for years. People know that. You can watch everything. All I had in my mind was keep trying to get better. So actually, the distance that we had, was good for me because it allowed me to focus. It's amazing because your distance, made you grow individually and not grow apart. Yes. We were still there to support each other. I mean, despite the distance. It strains a relationship sometimes. There would be times that we'd fight. But, we used that as a learning experience for ourselves. Because usually, when a beauty queen wins, their love lives would suffer. We all saw a lot of relationships that did not work after a beauty queen wins a title. But yours succeeded. During the finals and a couple of days before that, a lot of people were crying backstage. I'd say, "What happened to you?" And they'd say, "My boyfriend just broke up with me." Or, "My boyfriend and I are rocky." A lot of those. Oh shocks. Even my competitors, they were really suffering emotionally during that point. You? Well for me, I'd be enjoying and I'd be texting Fofo. He said, "Bonez, find out where else we can cascade for people to vote." We would still be strategizing. So it was like a game? I just remembered that right now. So while they were crying, breaking up, he was figuring out a strategy for the voting. Yes. He kept going. He even said-- Can I share this? - Okay, fine.
- You just reminded me of this. I think Miss World had a text component. They always have that, right? Text votes. But at that time, the style was a bit new. There was no Instagram that time. You're a celebrity in the Philippines, you have to win this segment. So all of your fans were like, "Just tweet. Go." And he told me, "All of the celebrities you know, message them." Oh my gosh. I was an introvert so to message somebody I'm not that close to was- It was a big step for an introvert to reach out. So I said, "I can't do it." He said, "What are you saying?" "You're already there so do it." He said, "If you don't do it, you'll regret it." So okay, let the extrovert come out right now. So I texted all those people- - To campaign for you to vote for you.
- "Vote for me." I said, "Could you please share to your followers?" I was so shy to tell people at that point. - But thank you for pushing me.
- That's a nice story. I completely forgot. So when you won that night, when it was announced, "Megan Young, Miss World." How did you feel? I was hosting. Were you hosting? - I was literally hosting.
- Oh yeah, that's why you can't go. I remember. So I was hosting an event. And the person at the back, I think one of the PA's said, I knew they were announcing already while I was on stage. She was giving me a signal. I said... You weren't able to watch the crowning moment. - I did not see it.
- He was working. And the whole country saw it. The boyfriend did not watch. But he was working. And we really tried to make sure he could go but he was under contract for a number of days and events. So he said, it's okay. Work first, we can watch later. When you were onstage, the PA gave a signal, how did you feel? - Did you immediately figure out what it was?
- I did. I was smiling while I was hosting. And I couldn't wait to finish the event and then eventually, talk to her. Although I kind of knew that I might not be able to talk to her right away. Were you able to? I called him. He's the first person I called. I said, "Fofo, I won." I could not believe it. I said, "Oh my god!" "Bye-bye. I love you. Got to go. I won." I was so happy that time. How does it feel to have a beauty queen for a girlfriend during that time? - I don't know if I felt anything...
- Nothing different? Miss World. You were dating Miss World. Crowned Miss World. Honestly, I didn't really think of those things because for me, I'm not in love with Miss World. I'm in love with Bonez. So if she's Miss World in her work, then that's something she can hold. That's something she can use in her job. With or without Miss World, she's still Bonez to me. It was very clear to me. And I knew that it was very clear to her that I was in love with Bonez and she was in love with Fofo. And everything else, all the fluff outside of that, was extra. It's so touching. It's so beautiful. I feel like crying. Stop it. No, but that's really beautiful. He's not in love with your title, he's in love with you. And he never made me feel that I'm a different person. Especially at that time, we talked about it a while ago, I'm not used to having all of the attention, and all of a sudden it was on me. Everything was on me. From being a low profile and doing my own thing, people wanted to know so much about my life. And he made me feel that I'm still the same person. And he always reminded me that, "You're still Bonez." You have a title. You have something that you can use. But do not forget who you really are. Behind being the beauty queen, Miss World, who is Megan? If you were to describe your wife. She is the love of my life who makes coffee for me in the morning and who I would have coffee with for the rest of my life. And I told her already that that makes me the happiest person in the world. So I told her that when it comes to our lives, I told her that I found my anchor. What makes me super happy? What can I strip away from my life and end with that will still make me happy? And I told her that if I can have that cup of coffee in the morning with you everyday, I'm good. Doesn't matter where we are. You want to move to the province, live in a hut, we're chill. Let's just bring coffee with us. As long as we have that. Let's have coffee in the morning. I read that you and I kind of have the same personality of not wanting to discuss. Yes. There are times when we fight and I'd say, "I need space." I need to be quiet. I don't like discussion. I don't like arguments. But he's the one who's head on -- the discussing type. Paul is like that too. So we're alike in some way. So how do you handle that? Well, I think there's something that I should be more open about. During that time, although I wanted space, my personality before, was that I like shoving things under the rug. If there's a problem, I wouldn't discuss it because I was afraid. I feel like I would see something wrong and something bad will happen. So at that point, he was so frustrated and he said, "Why don't you want to discuss this?" We need to understand this for our relationship to be better. You understand me more. I understand you more. And here you are as if everything's okay. That's where he gets really annoyed. I would pretend that everything's okay even when we haven't discussed anything. What she wants is "I need time but I never want to talk about it again." That's the problem. "I don't like having problems." I don't like arguing. - Yes.
- Oh my gosh. But it's needed. So sweeping things under the rug means that there's a mountain of things under it already. And there's a moment where you've reached your limit, right? And you feel like exploding. And he doesn't know where it comes from. There are things that piled up already. The constant choice that we have to make this better even though it's hard, hurtful to me, but this is our choice. Let's try to be better people each and everyday. And let's try to be a better couple each and everyday. I guess that's our decision. That became our style when going through those things. At least in our experience. I guess at that point, I wouldn't know how to approach a problem and fix it. Before my mindset was, if I say sorry, it's all good. Because that's how I grew up. And with the people around me, as long as you say sorry, it's fine. But for Mikael, he taught me that even if you say sorry, you have to figure out why it became a problem in the first place. And how do you adjust from there. So, thank you for teaching me how not to just say sorry, but also how to fix problems. But how did "Behind Relationship Goals" come about? Oh, that's interesting. I think one reason why we also do the podcast is we learned through experience and through stories. The people we talk to who are older and in longer relationships, we learn a lot through their storytelling. And that's what we wanted to share in our podcast we would just share our experiences, our travels, jokes, good times and bad, and then we leave it to the audience what they want to pick up. Yes, because we are not experts, you know, in love. We're only experts in what we experienced and in our own relationship. So for you guys, what is behind relationship goals? Oh wow, that's a really good question. I have an answer, you Bonez? I have an answer. For me, there's a lot of honesty, definitely, in a relationship. A lot of communication. But also a lot of patience. Definitely, a lot of patience. No matter what we do, we have to be better people so I can help you if ever you're stuck in a rut or if something happens and you can't do it alone. Let's help each other rise back up. So that's why we have to always, conciously, make an effort to be better. I agree completely. Miss World. Crown me. Miss World answer. Honesty is on top of the list in our relationship terms. So if Bonez gave qualities, I'll give illustrations. - I think you know this illustration.
- Are you an artist? Okay, illustration. I will illustrate. I always tell Bonez this because I was really excited about this. There's this amazing priest who was my theology professor back in school. In Ateneo. Yes, Ateneo. And he gave this analogy of love which, for me, that became the core value of how i treated my relationship and my love for Bonez and everyone else. Everyone else who matters in my life. So if you imagine yourself, your persona, as a circle. When you fall in love with someone, your bringing him or her into a circle. But, that circle, has space for yourself too. So you need to extend and push yourself so that your boundaries can grow more to fit to them. But the natural process is that you want to limit it to yourself again. So you have to make that choice to keep on expanding and expanding. And the more you try it becomes easier for you when you have it. So the illustration that I gave her is what I live by. That everyday it's not always easy. But you make a choice to make space so that you keep growing with this person inside. Mikael has taught me a lot in life. In general. And just about being a better person, I would say. I guess it's because we had different backgrounds. Completely different backgrounds. And the things that I was exposed to, may or may not have been the greatest influence in my life, he was definitely there as a good influence. So I'm grateful for you that you have made me a better person. It's the best. Made you a better person. You said he taught you so much. What's the best lesson he taught you? Or something that he taught you. What is the best that I taught you? What's the best thing? What is it? What is the best thing he taught you? Well, how do I handle my finances. Thank you Mr. Math Wiz. Adulting. In that aspect. In love, what does he teach you? In love... I would say that you taught me how to love unconditionally. Not just unconditional love for him, for the people that I care about the most. He taught me that there are things that you may not like about certain people, but there are things that you have to also accept about them and move on with them because you can't hold a grudge because of something that you don't like. You can help them become better people. But you do your part and you love them unconditionally. What she said is nice. You made her a better person. How about you? How did you become a better person because of Megan? I told her that you possibly helped me way more than I helped you. She was able to show me how to appreciate life. Enjoy life and savor every moment because I wasn't like that before. I was like, happiness is only in the future. If you get this and accomplish this. And just seeing how she went through life and how she was one half of this relationship, I saw that it's not the right way to live my life. I need to be able to appreciate this moment. Enjoy this life. Enjoy the cup of coffee every morning. So that's what I learned from her. And I told her that. It made me go through life happier. Much much happier.
