Midweek with Dr. Carter- A Narcissist’s Goal Is To Wear You Down

oh there we are hi there team healthy all right i see you guys already on here making your comments and giving your hellos to one another here already this morning uh hey we got a few newcomers here so welcome uh typically whenever we get started we have uh you know several dozen and then it goes into well over a thousand by the time we're finished and then what we'll do is we'll uh go ahead and keep it up uh in the video section uh once we uh we have it completed and then it goes packaged and it goes into that on youtube now those of you who are new just know that i'll watch um afterwards the the live chat section here if you have a question that you want me to answer next week you can go ahead and put it on the live chat session and then i'll pick up and and do it then or you can put the comments or you have if you have questions you can put them underneath the comm in the comment section below and then i'll pick up on them so what i do each week is answer questions that have come in through the week so that's that's how we do it um okay kelly you asked the question is repeating childhood stories a thing for narcissists and the answer is i don't know sometimes i repeat childhood stories because i forget if i've said anything to people so i don't think we're going to say that's for narcissists sometimes narcissists they just want to drive their point home and so um they can have drivel uh you know just like all the rest of us but i don't know that i would call that just a narcissistic person or trait so anyway just wanted to throw that out that was a quick one that was uh right up there on the live chat okay um i'm gonna begin with a statement that came uh came in at the very end last week and it sets up some of the pa some of the mindset that i'm going to want us to operate with here today uh today we're talking about uh how a narcissist goal is to wear you down and by the way what i do is i i'll pick up all the questions that come and then i try to look for a theme that seems to be consistent with what many of the questions are and that's how i go with it a narcissist's goal is to where you down now the comment that i read at the very tail end of last week's live feed is somebody wrote in narcissists feed upon our lack of self-worth we need to do nothing to defeat them what we need to do is to heal ourselves and i'm telling you uh as i read through that again later it's like that so captures what we're trying to do here on team healthy narcissists do in fact want to wear you out they want to rob you of being you they want you to filter your thoughts and your feelings and your interpretations and priorities through them and over time if you don't do that they'll come after you in fact i've got a new video coming up i think it's uh maybe 10 days or so down the road about how narcissists act as predators they just keep coming after you and in doing so you can finally lose your resolve and even better you can get mad at them and then they say see that proves how terrible you are they feed on your lack of self-worth and they actually feed that lack of self-worth to you and then i'm going to repeat it we need to do nothing to defeat them what we need to do is to heal ourselves and so uh if you just stop at this point and go on then you've already gotten your money's worth out of today's uh live feed okay so all of that said i'm going to to go through some of the questions that have come in and see if we can pick up on you know what this means for them to wear you out the very first person is uh first question it's somebody that obviously is looking backward you'll see as we go into the question uh this person says the very worst thing for me was that no one believed me remember i just did a video on that particular topic and then this person goes on to say mom could say anything and she did and i was the liar and then this next comment what does a seven-year-old do and i i was kind of caught off guard by that last one what does a seven-year-old do now i'm gonna make the assumption that this is not a seven-year-old that's writing this question in i'm gonna make this the assumption this is a full full-blown adult looking back and recognizing you know all the way back even when i was seven years old i would say things and my narcissistic mother had the need to make me out to be a liar you know sometimes kids in their innocence they can see things and they'll just say hey mom that wasn't true or that's not the way it happened or i i noticed you said this yesterday and you're saying this today so what is it i mean little kids can pick up on that they can be perceptive and i'm gonna make the assumption this little girl back when she was seven years old did that and the mother already was beginning the brainwashing okay basically uh that mother was saying when you have a perception that differs from me you're automatically wrong and when you ask what does a seven-year-old do the seven-year-old is very perplexed but i'm hoping that as that seven-year-old becomes 17 and 27 and 37 and way beyond there's a sense of maturity that kicks in that says okay way back then you may have felt like you were getting away with it and perhaps you did because i was seven years old but here i am i'm now an adult and you still seem to try to let me think that i don't have good awarenesses that i don't figure things out well but i do at some point you have to get to the place of saying i trust myself i've had very interesting comment or conversations with people let's say they're in their late 20s or early 30s somewhere along in there and they have enough adulthood under their belt where they're starting to see things very differently than they had when they were in their early years and sometimes it just strikes these young adults when they think i've already passed my own parent in the maturity department and that happens i mean you'd like to think in an ideal world that the the parent would be this white-haired wise old sage that everybody looks up to and this person has never done anything wrong and and uh so everything goes well but it doesn't always work out that way sometimes when you're 30 years old or 40 years old and you look at the people who have gone before you you realize you know this person didn't always have their act together but they tried to make me to be the problem and that's the goal and they want you to just stay inside that role for i don't know the rest of your life and so now when this person says the worst thing was that no one believed me i'm hoping that you can get to the point of saying well i'm a one and i do believe me and that matters and so uh your superpower and that there's an older video on this your ultimate superpower when you're dealing with a narcissist is trust yourself and so i'm hoping that that's what is going to happen and you can look back and recognize mom was and it's pretty pitiable was messing with a seven-year-old kid thinking oh i've got mind control over you and maybe she did for a while but at some point it's like nope game's over i'm not playing okay now the next question this person just says please shed some light that on on how narcissists deal in relationships as transactions and they use victims like atms to their own benefit okay so please shed some light on how narcissists see you is nothing more than a transaction you're just like an atm that's a great analogy uh they think okay i need i need to get something out of you i'd click the buttons okay you pay me i'm satisfied um it's it's really sad when you begin realizing well i'm a relational person and being relational means that i like to know people from the inside out i like to know what makes them tick i like to share with them who i am we can engage with each other on the pluses and the minuses and we can know one another so we can understand more fully how to love that's what it means to be relational and then over time the the narcissist may or sometimes they don't even go so far as to make the effort but they may give the appearance that that's what they're trying to do when in fact time eventually reveals i was just using you i was just your transaction that's all you are in other words you're somebody that has a function and as long as you keep repeating the function in the way that i say it ought to be i'm happy and that's it and so uh we we look back and we ask you know what is it that causes them to be this way and let's just remember the defining feature of narcissism all starts with an understanding of their construction of their false self narcissists want to be in control they're very self-absorbed they feel entitled they uh they insist that they have to be superior over you but in order to actually pull that off in such a way where it's like yeah i keep proving it day after day they have to lie to themselves and so uh they they remind themselves that you know i really am uh the top person here and instead of uh saying well i need to be vulnerable i need to be open i need to always be learning uh they build this veneer that says everything that i say and do has to be right because being vulnerable scares them they're shame-based they're fear-based and so they come along with you and rather than saying well why don't you share your pluses and biases just as i will well that that involves vulnerability and vulnerability is oh it's kryptonite to them it just it just completely diminishes them and it goes completely against their script and so going along with the narcissistic pattern is the inability to love they don't know how to love because they're so busy hiding behind the false self and love is what causes relationships to truly flourish uh whereas being functional and getting whatever they want uh to prop up their uh their ongoing false image that just means you're transactional and and that's what it is so it's so important for you to understand if you're approaching a person and it doesn't have to be a love relationship but if you're approaching a person thinking well i want to build respect here and i want to acknowledge dignity and i want us to be builders of significance with one another you're not always dealing with somebody that says well i'd like to do that in a reciprocal way to them it's like what are you going to do for me and you have to prop up their false self and so that's that's the foremost in terms of you understanding the narcissist okay the the next one and this goes to that whole question about how they want to wear you down this person just asked very succinctly why are narcissists so relentless okay have you ever wondered that i mean there there are some there are times when you'd like to just pull back and say you know we really don't need to beat each other up verbally and emotionally and whether it's in a living relationship with one another an extended family or work or uh beyond it it really is not necessary and the narcissist is like oh yes it is and any chance they have they'll just come in and they'll just keep reminding you i'm the boss you're the underling i'm superior you're inferior i'm in control you're my subordinate and it's like do you ever quit and the answer is no no it's it's just who i am and they have built their entire identity around the whole need to be in control and they've built their entire identity around their own self-absorbed self-impressed falsehoods that when you come along and say well maybe there's a different way they can't handle it so they wear you down as a defense for uh against looking inwardly about who they really are um i wish you know here i am i'm in my late 60s by the way i noticed some of you were talking about how old you are you get to a certain point in life and you say you know i've had my pluses i've had my minuses i've done things right and i've not done things right and let's just be honest about it and i hope that you would each have people that you could have that kind of conversation with and it's like as i grow and as i age i'm just going to embrace all of what i've been through the good bad the ugly and the pleasant and all the rest it's it's all part of my package and uh and then that that leads you towards a much fuller capacity for authenticity and openness and and being truly knowing how to love and being a conduit for dignity that that sense of honesty is so necessary in the aging process when we ask why are narcissists so relentless it's like oh no you're not going to make me go into that space and rather than thinking i like that word authenticity i like that word genuineness what they'll say if they could be honest what they would say is no i like the word dominance i like the word authority i like the word control that's what i stand for and at some point you'd like to say to that person can't you see particularly as the decades pass that stuff is baloney i could say it differently but family friendly you know no no uh and yet the narcissists like it's not baloney uh it's the real deal and so they're relentless because they're afraid of saying i am human just like you deep in their past they they came to determination having openness having introspection and honesty will get you into big trouble and they they decided a long time ago i am not doing that and just like that that person says what does a seven-year-old do a lot of seven-year-olds retreat and uh narcissus is certainly ever treated i ain't going and i'm hiding behind my walls of defensiveness i'm a scaredy little rabbit but i'm gonna try to sound like a roaring lion and that becomes their persona and so they cannot they cannot tolerate you saying i'm on to you it's like no you're not they swat you okay now i've got two questions here i'm going to combine into one and i i get these just about every week and so and i don't off uh answer them every week but because i receive this kind of question every week i'm going to go ahead and go into it today and and you talk about wearing a person down this this is a one of the worst okay uh two questions here now this one is a uh is from a grandparent who says how can one best deal with a narcissist that is keeping a grandchild away for no reason except that she can't and then the other question is can you please address parental alienation in a narcissist marriage and then divorce the reason that i have a great bit of difficulty with this particular question is there's not a good answer to this one i wish that i could say okay find your sense of peace find your sense of joy and live into that but in these cases it's like but it's my my grandchild uh you know let's say that up until a certain age you and the grandchild had a great relationship and then whether it's your daughter this is she um your daughter or or daughter-in-law says we're not going to do this anymore and they refuse to receive your phone calls or in the other case let's say you're in a a marital situation and one child or once excuse me one parent uh takes it upon themselves to train the child to hate the other parent that's the parental alienation and by the way if you look up parental alienation they do use the word um brainwashing and part of the definition also is and the person being alienated doesn't have a viable reason to be alienated and so now what we have is we have a situation where the narcissist says okay i'm going to wear you out uh i'm going to take all of my vitriol out on you and the way i'm going to do it is i'm going to take away what matters most to you and that is your child now i want you to think who would do that and the answer is somebody that's deeply filled with hate now i know that you're some of you're familiar with john gottman he's the the guru he's the gold standard in research regarding why divorces happen and he has the four primary reasons if i can remember him all the time i had criticism contempt defensiveness and stonewalling and uh he mentions that the single biggest indicator of those four that would predict divorce contempt is the worst one and there are some narcissists who are so committed to their hatred they're so committed to their contempt that it's like and i will never let go and then the net result is they wear you out with it it's like i am going to grind you into the ground and uh and the net result is this child is going to be my battleground and if you're a decent person it's like but i can't in good conscience do that because what you'd like to do is take that child let's say it's that seven-year-old kid and say hey look yeah the other parent is being this that and the other and you can explain it to them but it's like i don't want to do that to a kid and the narcissist thinks i will and that's what's so despicable about this and so as the years have gone by i went to my very first seminar about parental alienation over 30 years ago at a professional conference and we were getting more and more uh aware of all of the definition of all of that back in those days uh and uh i've heard so many cases of it i mean maybe several hundred cases where and none of them have a good story and so what's the best way to deal with a narcissist that would do this whether it's with you as a grandparent or you as a fellow parent uh when possible you do want to speak to the child and and you you don't want to make them the uh the playground for all of the dirty you know comments back and forth but you want to let them know when you're with me let's decide that we're going to have a b and c in the way that we relate with each other you know honesty and openness and affirmation i want to listen to you i want to be available to you and and i want to make sure that that you and i conduct ourselves as cleanly as we can your father or your mother or your stepdaughter whoever it might be thinks differently but um when when it's you and me we're going to go ahead and try to be as clean as we can and then as they get older perhaps in their adult years you can talk with them more cleanly and more fully about whatever is there but then even there you may not have that opportunity and that's the problem and you may never be able to say too much because if the child goes back to the alienating parent and says whatever is going on between the two of you then that alienating parent can then double down and say well i'm just going to make it miserable and so it's it's it's one of those conundrums that there's not an excellent answer to and sometimes you have to say what i'll do is i'll remain available and if i don't have access to the child in the event that i do then i'll have my dignity intact i had a really interesting case with a 45 year old man i mentioned this maybe a couple years ago on up video where a guy at age 30 excuse me at age 13 had been alienated from his father they had moved from another state and they had come to where i was and now here he was at age 45 and uh his mother and grandmother had trained him to hate his father just as they hated him and he heard nothing good about them about his father so at age 45 he went and looked his father up in another state went visit with him spent the entire weekend with him and he came back and something a switch went off in him it's like he's a good guy and he loves me and he made mistakes but it's not like he was defective uh and all this time he had uh i learned that he had tried you know his back before uh emails and like that he had sent me cards and things like that and i never got him and uh it really opened up his eyes 32 years later so i don't know what it's going to be like for you but just know that what you can't afford is to let the alienating parent so wear you out that you just completely quit uh you just keep yourself available and you believe in yourself and then if and when the possibility comes then you speak into it so that's that's a hard one and i i wish that i could say well if you act nice then uh you know everything's gonna come around okay and uh you you're not gonna have any problems because sometimes they win uh in the sense that it can be a long-term kind of a thing that's a hard one okay uh the the next question my covert narcissistic wife complains of a lack of intimacy and connection but she gives me the silent treatment often and is critical in virtually every interaction but she blames me is she trying to manifest her victim status and the answer is oh yeah when you ask a question like that it's like you're on to it and see this is where we talk about wearing you down um the the the narcissist can come along and say you know you and me we're not having good closeness we're not having intimacy we're not engaging well with each other but then they kind of neglect uh to say yeah of course i had about oh a dozen criticisms for you yesterday and the day before wasn't much better and i i keep reminding you how you never measure up and get away from me and go away i'm too busy so they forget all of the the precursory stuff where they have set the whole thing up and uh basically we have a term for that and this is called victim shaming you have been victimized by their manipulative and inappropriate behavior and then they turn around and say look at you you're not responding well to me you're you're not being as as kind and giving as you should be but i i shouldn't be surprised you're just a low character person anyway and over time uh they can just whittle away at your sense of resolve and the very fact that this person asks well are they trying to play themselves off as a victim you start getting confused and you start wondering well which one of us is reasonable and which one of us is not and the narcissist says oh i know the answer to that question you're not and so they they will criticize you and then turn around and let you know that there's something defective because you don't seem to respond well to their criticism which then proves to them you're just a difficult person to get along with and that's part of their tricks and and it's it's gaslighting that's for sure but i'm hoping the more you're able to see that then the less hooked emotionally you're going to be and so when they say well we don't have a lot of closeness then my response if i'm you is going to be something to the effect of yeah you know closest would be nice and i'm very available to it um and as we're able to have a positive connecting and authentic and vulnerable kind of communications i'm thinking it could happen i'm willing to join you on that let it be known and then when they predictably do their thing then at some point it's like okay i am not going to receive the judgment that they're pronouncing on me and that's what we i have a term for that i call it delicate detachment i'm unhooking and i'm not going to let that just define me okay um another succinct question that we have here this person asks is narcissistic supply rational thinking well we have two answers to that one to the narcissist the answer is yeah makes sense to me and there's lots of rash now a mature person the answer is no the narcissist starts in their relationship with you that more or less says you're responsible for propping me up and the narcissist thinks that's reasonable you're responsible for giving me whatever it is i need to have a good day today you see narcissists are empty on the inside and so they build their sense of well-being from the outside in and that's where you come in and so in their mind it's like well if if i can get somebody to compliment me then i feel good about me if i can get somebody to do me favors again i feel good if i can get somebody to pay me compliments or to say nice things about me in public oh that's that's real nice and so they build their whole sense of well-being upon you and that's their ultimate codependency they're highly co-dependent uh please please give me this that's what we mean when we say supply they're like junkies they're like addicts they're addicted to your affirmation and so is that rational thinking well it's as rational as a person saying you know injecting myself with heroin or maybe a little bit further asking you to inject me with heroin that's a good way for me to find peace i know it's not and the narcissist to the junkie it's like yeah it is and so know that they're approaching you like an addict would and so is that normal is that good no you're not helping that person by playing the enabler role by more or less saying here i'll prop you up and i'll make you feel good even if it's false i'll do it get off my back no they're approaching you with irrationality and you're not required to say okay i'll be at the front of the line uh helping me out maturity doesn't allow you to to go along with their grossly immature and unenlightened way of thinking okay um okay speaking of gottman i have another question here what is the difference between boundaries and stonewalling that's one of the the ingredients that gottman talks about how uh relationships are ruined through stonewalling okay so exactly what are we talking about when we talk about stonewalling and it's a fairly uh direct kind of thing the narcissists will it's like they have a wall of stone around themselves in other words they're highly defensive and many times narcissists in their attempts to control you will put that wall up and it's like you are not going to get to know me and then if there's a conflict between you and that narcissist uh then the message will be silently typically with passive aggressiveness i'm not even gonna give you the the benefit of hearing from me i'm not gonna look at you i'm not gonna be around you i'm going to ghost you if you send me text i don't feel the need to respond i don't like you go away get out of here and they just turn it off that's stonewalling and so this person asks what's the difference between setting boundaries and stonewalling well a intent is that is huge but then when we talk about boundaries what we're talking about is having a healthy definition of what a good life is that's nowhere in the whole stonewalling concept but again going back to our theme of wearing you down they're hoping that if they can withdraw their presence in your life then that will cause you to have less resolve and you'll say okay okay i'll do whatever i have to do please please come back i have to have you in my life they're hoping that's what you're going to say they're trying to punish you into submission boundaries means hey look i have a definition of who i am and it doesn't include all of this game playing stuff my definition is this is my priority these are my convictions these are my beliefs uh this is how i feel and i'm going to stick with it and then when the the narcissist comes at you and tells you why it's so completely inappropriate for you to be that way at some point you say i'm aware you think that i'm gonna stick with it anyway now they can then come back and say you're just being defensive you're just stonewalling and in a and as with as healthy of a mindset as you can it's like you can have whatever interpretation you want to have i've learned a long time ago that trying to get you to interpret me cleanly is not going to happen you can interpret me any way you want but i'm going to go ahead and just calmly and steadily be me those are two very different things stonewalling versus having boundaries boundaries is a commitment to healthiness and then living into it stonewalling is a commitment to fearful defense and attempting to punish someone with gaslighting and all the rest uh for the purpose of wearing them out for the purpose of controlling them for the purpose of creating shame there are two very very different uh ways of doing relationships okay and again i know they'll just wear you out because after after a while you start thinking well am i the problem and they're over there thinking good question ask it again and they want you to stay in that stuck place don't let that happen okay this next one kind of goes along with this this person asked to what degree has my people-pleasing nature enabled the ongoing behavior of the narcissist in my life now most of you know that i tend to give people pleasers a pretty uh easy pass now sometimes uh the people pleaser uh you know they they just keep shooting themselves in the foot and you want to come over and say would you knock it off okay quit it but is it is it wrong to say i want to be a pleasing presence in someone else's life and the answer is i sure hope not i like it when people are pleasant toward me i like it when i am able to be that way toward other individuals there's a sense of happiness there's a sense of shared respect that we have for one another and so what is it about people pleasing that that plays into a narcissist scheme well the narcissist has decided you know what you owe that to me and so they don't just say i appreciate your goodness let me reciprocate they say well i've had it coming to me all the while why can't you give me some more and they're they're again they're they're like that addict uh by the way a defining feature of addiction is that uh over time when you get your supply it gets to the point where it's not enough you have to have more and so it's called tolerance they build up their college therefore they have to have more and so um uh the the uh the people pleaser is over there thinking well am i gonna be okay with you or now am i on your good side or do you think now we can have harmony and the narcissist with all their scheming is like yeah let me think about it so the people pleaser is way too invested in the narcissist response and so to the people pleaser i would say don't let that happen because again they'll wear you out enough is never enough and so i'm hoping that there's a sign of you that says i really like me being pleasing i don't like me being a doormat i don't like me being somebody that has to take taking on somebody's bullying and saying well i guess that's just my lot in life i'm gonna do it so no because again we don't want the narcissist to wear down your sense of resolve okay now another question and i i strongly suspect that many of you would have this one this person asks is it possible for a narcissistic person to display their characteristics mainly toward one person in their family but not so much to others or is that not narcissism and the answer is oh yeah that's narcissism again let's keep in mind what narcissism is it's the need to be in control an attitude of entitlement uh it's uh it's it's their way of saying uh i i have to be in the superior position and but they also live behind the uh the false front trying to keep up an image about who they are and they're highly manipulative and this is one of their biggest manipulations being the chameleon and so with people out there that that they feel like they still you know there's still gas in their tank and they can fill them up with supply it's like yeah okay i'll just keep doing what i have to do with you but then with you they may have already decided well somebody in my life needs to be the scapegoat somebody needs to be at fault for all the problems i have and that's where you come in and so they may have ascribed to you the role of being the recipient of their anger the recipient of their misery and it's probably the scapegoat so specifically uh they want you to uh to be the one that that you know they put it all on to and then when they have a pleasant exchange but this person over here which is probably going to be a superficial exchange i might add they can come back to you and say all i know is everybody else likes me you're the problem and it's a setup and so don't buy into that know what you know and your relationship with that person is not going to be the same as someone else because of the assigned roles and all of that i know we're running low on time here but i was in i was actually still in my doctoral program when i went to a um a conference led by a woman named virginia satir s-a-t-i-m-r and she did a lot of work in explaining family systems and how it works and uh it was one of the uh my i'm actually my supervisor my doctoral internship uh he and i went together and uh it's all about how people have these roles sometimes subconsciously ascribed to them and the way she explained it was fascinating here it is you know 40 plus years later i still remember it sometimes you're assigned a role and sometimes the role is not good for you but it works for the narcissist and just because the narcissist has assigned you the role in in this case well you're the designated loser then it doesn't mean you have to go along with that okay um another question this person says do we subconsciously gravitate toward controlling narcissists which is a very interesting question the the answer is we tend to fall back upon what is familiar okay and so if you find yourself around somebody who's super controlling and domineering and critical it's like man i've been around a lot of these people it may be this like yeah there are other people out there that aren't that way but i don't know if i would fit with them and so well all i know is this is pretty familiar and there are some people who just keep going back to the same old same old and what you have to do is you have to think you know maybe i need to have a new definition of what it means to be familiar um this person or those people that may be a whole string of them they they have so taken away my sense of resolve as i mentioned at the very beginning here they've robbed me of me and over and over and over and i don't even know who me is anymore and so you keep going back to people who are going to have that strong authoritarian style it's it's so interesting when i have people who'll say you know i used to be around a it could be an authoritarian group or controlling uh uh people over here and it's like you know i i had to finally decide if if that's the way you think i'm not going to be with you anymore they would start saying no to invitations knowing that i didn't feel good the last time and so you have to give yourself a new normal okay and real quickly uh one last question that we have then i have a comment here and that is uh how can a narcissist have a raging crying fit at a restaurant and then uh walk back after a few moments like nothing ever happened and it doesn't embarrass them so this person is saying well i was in a restaurant this person just had this big time fit uh you know could be that the french fries were soggy i don't know but they apparently it says raging uh so that's pretty strong and and then later on it's like it never even happened and this illustrates how strongly narcissists are capable of rationalizing to themselves they have an absolutely astonishing capacity to rationalize to themselves it's never their fault the other person had it coming you're just over interpreting what you think you saw and when that of course that's gaslighting they want to keep you in a state of confusion and that's the biggest thing they do is they try to keep you in the down position uh all i know is you saw what you saw and make your plans with that person according to what you saw not according to their self-serving interpretation of what they feel the need to have to put out there okay so i have one one last comment and uh i thought this would be a good to end on it's just a comment this person says the number one best feeling in the world is puppies the number two best feeling in the world is unhooking from a narcissist okay gus would appreciate this one uh the number one best feeling is puppies the number two best way is unhooking from a narcissist sometimes you just have to get away no i i want the calmness i want the steadiness that uh that i know is out there that is something i have let's resolve uh the narcissist wants to wear you down they want to take away your decisiveness your uniqueness your distinctive uh when you're a seven-year-old kid like that early question uh you don't have a whole lot of choice in the matter but as you age and as you have maturity and you figure this out i'm hoping you can think you know that game maybe used to work on me but it's not going to anyone anymore going back to my definition of boundaries i have a definition of what healthiness is and i'm staying in that and you can't wear me down from that because it just simply makes sense as i survey the way a narcissist does and how they approach life it makes no sense therefore unhook you guys send in such good questions and so as you have more put them in the comments section below um i go through my comments section a few times a day and i copy and paste some of the stuff that i pick up on here and then next wednesday guess what we're going to do we're going to crank it up all over again it's 11 o'clock central time us i know that we have people we we've we've had a new person from morocco so if you're here today hello uh from all over europe now down down under australia and new zealand a couple of you from down there you're actually live get some sleep okay and then from i mean literally south america uh south africa i mean literally all over i'm so honored that you would be a part of uh our midweek with dr c here and the the group that we have uh we are team healthy and somebody needs to step up and say well team healthy keep practicing and then next week we'll talk more about team healthy okay hope the rest of your week goes well and i shall see you next time bye you

Channel: Surviving Narcissism

Views: 30,641

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Id: j8me7rQwWwI

Length: 43min 32sec (2612 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 22 2022