Midweek with Dr. C.- Standing Up To A Narcissist

there team healthy well how are you guys doing today I am having a good Wednesday here so far in Waco Texas I'm so pleased to have you with me today and we have quite a uh a good lineup of questions uh and that some of you have already mentioning here something about the podcasts and and things that you all are doing and also I'm always so glad to get your chat here most of you I know are going to be watching on tape delay but I love having this live chat here we have such a supportive group here you know one of the things that I want to do as we talk about the whole concept of narcissism is I want us to have a certain amount of modeling with each other you know uh narcissists now they they can fake it for a while but I want us to be a team where we have encouragement and uh and just have a sense of honesty about who we are and that's what we're going to do here so that's why I asked to answer the questions for those of you who are new to the live feed format first of all welcome uh literally we have people here from all over the world and it's it's such an honor to be in this kind of situation where we can talk about this together if you have a question if you're watching live go ahead and put it in the uh the live chat here if you're watching tape like most people are going to be doing then put it in the comment section below and what I do is each week I I collect questions that have come in through the week and then I answer them and then so next week we're going to have a whole new slate of questions so here we go okay now today you know what I like to pick up on a theme with our questions and the theme that we have here today is you standing up to a narcissist have you ever been in a situation where you thought you know I can sit quiet and I can just let that narcissistic person be whatever they want to be but it is just absolutely wearing me out and over time they could be so overbearing and so insistent and so invalidating toward you that finally you have you say to yourself I can do better and I need to stand up and show some self-respect and uh at least if for no one's a sake other than my own I need to stand up and let it be known what my distinctives are and that's what we're going to be talking about now the fact that you do that doesn't mean the narcissist is going to say oh well I welcome that keep in mind that part of narcissism is they like to be the ones that call the shots so when you get to the point in your life where you decide well what I'd like to do is I'd like to be honest about who I am and let that that highly narcissistic person know you know about what my thoughts and needs and feelings are it's highly predictable that the narcissist is going to give you a lot of blowback so that's what we're going to be talking about here today so let's let's just dive in with one of the questions uh by the way a word that that is closely associated with what we're talking about here today is the word boundaries when we talk about boundaries we talk about you establishing who you will and will not be how you will or will not conduct yourself so this first question the person asks is it possible to set firm boundaries with a narcissist or is that just a waste of breath now I have a follow-up question from someone else on this but uh but I want us to I wanted to go ahead and lead with that question because many of you know that I have conducted many many anger workshops one of the things that I would uh find whenever I would use the word assertive uh people would have sometimes a bit of a difficult notion about how to manage assertiveness what they would say is well Dr C I I went away from your Workshop from your counseling office and I tried that assertive stuff and it didn't work and it's the same thing when we use the word banners well I tried to said boundaries but I don't know that that it worked and what they mean is whenever you try to stand up to another person and say this is who I am this is what I believe these are my convictions these are my preferences then these people would come back and say well it didn't work because the narcissist stayed as angry as they ever were and they were disruptive and they were non-cooperative so I guess that assertiveness and that boundaries business it just doesn't work real well so I guess that leads us to the question what does the word work mean and I don't mean to sound too Clinton asking on that you know what is his I mean um your boundaries work regardless of whether the narcissist approves or not boundaries is for you your batteries is not for the narcissist I mean yeah they're involved but you're not going to change a narcissist Mind by setting boundaries and so it's a it's and so when this person says am I just wasting my breath no uh whenever well first of all try to remind yourself why you're setting boundaries in the first place you're setting boundaries because the the narcissist is more than willing to step all over you and to invalidate you and to diminish you and to let you know that they have no intention of cooperating and so basically what they're saying is you're just a nuisance to me you're someone to be squashed you're someone to be pushed off to the side and when you establish your boundaries you're saying no I don't agree with that now the fact that you say I don't agree with that doesn't mean the narcissist will say oh well I guess I'll change my mind then they're going to stay what they are and so when you establish boundaries don't assume that it doesn't work just because they remain narcissistic establishing boundaries means I'm going to be me regardless of what they give me in Reverse that's what we're talking about when we talk about having healthy boundaries we begin with you maintaining a definition of what your Healthy manner of Life consists of and uh in your Healthy manner of life it may be that you have certain priorities that you just simply want to pursue it may be that you have opinions that the narcissists think are stupid but you think I'm going to hold my opinions anyway and I'm not gonna you know necessarily have to push him on the narcissist but you can say but I'll and I don't feel like I need to apologize for my opinions it may be that in your boundaries you uh let it be no known that there are certain things that you will go along with and certain things that you choose not to go along with because it doesn't fit your preferences or needs or convictions or ethics that's what boundaries is and so uh I I think that we often have the illusion that sometimes if we can just stand up and say the right thing and live according to good ethics and good principles and standards the narcissist is going to take note and say well done they won't do it it's not it's not in their makeup so is it possible to set firm boundaries with a narcissist yes because it's you doing it and they're going to remain narcissistic is that just a waste of breath to The Narcissist it might be but you see what we're saying is but I have my interpretation and that's part of your boundaries and in my interpretation I'm not wasting my breath at all and it may be that you're not going to be highly coordinated with the narcissist but you are going to be true to yourself and that's what we're talking about when we talk about having healthy boundaries that is so essential for you to maintain that distinction now the follow-up question that I mentioned another person asked how do you set healthy boundaries when you're fearful of the narcissist and frankly that's a that's a fair question you know that whenever you do establish your own distinctions and you say this is what I do believe in or this is what I will participate in or I don't want to go along with you on this or I I will take these initiatives over here you know that narcissists have anger issues they have control issues and so there's a high predictability that the narcissist will come down on you whenever you establish your boundaries they want you to fear them they want you to to feel like you have to filter your decisions through them because it's going to be curtains for you if you don't and I guess it's a matter of you asking well is that fear and honest fear now sometimes the answer is yes uh it's I think that we need to have a healthy fear of Highly manipulative and scheming and condescending and mean people there simply are times particularly particularly the more malignant that the narcissist becomes that we need to fear that that being said it doesn't mean that you cease having boundaries what it does mean is you don't need to go into the argumentative Arena or the competitive Arena and say well if you think you're going to show me I'll show you right back you don't want to do the um evil for evil or insult for insult I'm just not that kind of person but I I think we um we need to ask a couple of thoughts when you say well I fear the setting boundaries with the narcissist one question is do you believe in yourself do you trust that your discernments that your judgments that your calculations your preferences your interpretations do you believe that you're a reasonable person and if the answer is yes I trust myself then that's an enormous first step and then the next is uh can you go ahead and live out as much as common sense allows uh your good convictions knowing that the narcissist isn't going to care for you and it's it's important for you to then think you know but there are some people that probably can and will acknowledge the legitimacy of my thoughts and feelings and perceptions and interpretations and initiatives uh do you have a good support system one of the things narcissists like to do is to isolate you the more they can just kind of take you off into the side room and just scold you in a harsh and mean kind of way and say you're so stupid and you don't know what you're talking about I'm going to make your life miserable if you don't do what I say the more they can isolate you then the intimidation Factor becomes more possible for them but what if you decided I don't feel like I have to just isolate and I don't have to keep secrets about what's going on between myself and that narcissist if I'm struggling I may need to have some Confidant some people that know me and and that I trust and they have my vested interest at heart and I need to talk to them and it's it's so necessary to make sure that the narcissist is not the only one by putting ideas in your mind first you need to trust yourself second you need to have that good solid support base where people can say well you do make sense and here's why I like what you're wanting to do or where you're wanting to go so can you have boundaries even though you have a certain fear of the narcissist and my response is it's good to have a healthy fear but not to the extent that you completely lose who you are one of the things that might be necessary is for you to say if I am that paralyzed because of the narcissist meanness I've got to reconsider why I'm in a relationship that creates that feeling in the first place do I really need to spend a lot of time and give a lot of effort and energy into trying to make a relationship work when I'm with a pure bully so I I wanted to get these two questions out here first can you set boundaries or is it a waste of time yes it's about you being true to you is it reasonable to have a fear of narcissists yes sometimes it is because they can run smear campaigns and they can try to turn people away or be non-cooperative or who knows what but at some point it's like but I can't just uh so filtered everything that I think say and do through that demented Twisted manipulative schemer that I wind up completely Losing Myself by the way we have a term for that it's called trauma bonding you're so afraid of being a legitimately decent person that in your fear you wind up bonding in other words you wind up adhering to what the narcissist thinks and feels that you have no distinction you have the personality that you have uh and so I I'm one of these that says and I'm not very good trying to be somebody that I'm not okay so stay true to who you are that's that's That's essential okay and we have a couple of um other questions here now that I've kind of put back to back about uh how narcissists want to keep you away from some of those healthy relationships uh this person asked the question how common is it for Sons or daughters-in-law who are narcissistic to isolate the spouse from their birth family uh it uh it is so often blown off as a normal in-law conflict if I'm seeing it played out and and let's see if I am seeing it played out as I suspect it seems uh it's very similar to a spousal abuser's isolation of their spouse from others okay so in other words this person is saying well my partner my spouse is uh trying to alienate me for my family of origin is that a common kind of thing and I mentioned just a few moments ago one of the things narcissus like to do is they like to isolate you they want to rob you of your own distinction we just had a video that came up this week about how a narcissist wants to brainwash you and when I talk about brainwashing I mean they want to empty you of your own good ideas and distinctives and initials and then they want to fill you with themselves okay and so this is extremely common in a marital situation where one person says well I don't like your family because they seem to have a different angle than I have therefore we're not going to spend time with them they're a bunch of idiots and they can uh I've had people talk about how they've gone years without seeing their sister or their parents or you know things like that all of this is by the way the how people that that do parental alienation this is how they operate they try to uh to to alienate uh kids from the other parent or they try to alienate a brother from another brother or something like this and it's to me it's one of the most Insidious ways of dealing with in-laws or family situations The Narcissist basically it starts with the presumption well since I'm the one that's in the equation I need to put all the rest of you on notice that my my way of thinking and my way of doing is the only one that matters and so we align only with people that I align with and if these are the folks over there are not on my team get out of here they're there and you who are attached to me you can't be with them anymore and you just think about the the raw logic that's involved in that it's like that's not logical in fact it's just grossly selfish I mean grossly selfish um you know why is it that uh just because you're not the the family of origin if they're decent people just don't think the same as you that they have to be mixed uh one of my thoughts is well in healthy relationships as we bring our differences and our unique experiences and perspectives to our relationships maybe if we have enough healthiness uh in that mix we can learn from each other and we can grow and we can expand because of our exposure to people who are a little bit different narcissists don't think that way um and so basically uh their thinking is if they don't align with me they're out of here so is that common the answer is yes now the other question that's kind of in a similar kind of Direction this person says can you talk about narcissist siblings and turning families again issue as as if I actually did something to them uh even I feel guilty at times and I'm not even sure what I did so this person is saying well let's say that uh that I have a brother or a sister and then the narcissist is trying to turn them against me or me against them narcissists like I say one of their favorite tactics is isolation they want to keep you away from anyone that says there's something different to consider and so for example I I've spoken so many times with people that'll say well my sister and I and we we had a little bit of tension uh we're okay with each other and then that narcissistic partner can come in and say oh no you got to get rid of her and it's like well it's not that severe and and sometimes that's just they can be sold Draconian that's uh that's their control issues and so those are those are common themes and then we go back to our theme of our session here today standing up for the narcissist at some point it's reasonable for you to say to that narcissist who is trying to alienate you from those otherwise might have a loving relationship I'm going to go ahead and stick with my family or I'm going to go ahead and follow through with what I believe is reasonable people as an example I I remember speaking with one young man who's the the wife would not allow this young man to go and visit much with uh with his family of origin and he decided you know if you don't want to go you don't have to go but I was invited to dinner on Friday night so I'm going to go ahead and do that and it would make her mad but it's like it's not a bad thing I'm not doing anything immoral sometimes you just have to stand up and say I'm going to be me and if the narcissist gets mad well they're already mad and again we had to ask you know what's uh what's the future of a relationship if there's that tight of a control agenda now obviously if the family of origin represents a great deal of dishonesty and dysfunction and they they treat you real poorly and that the spouse is trying to protect you that's a whole different story but when we're talking about narcissists doing that it's like no they're they're the ones who are creating the The Strain and the difficulty okay uh okay speaking of standing up to the narcissist this person asked the question why do narcissists provoke you on topics that we've already said boundaries on when they know it just pushes us apart okay so we go back and uh this person may have decided uh you know I'm not gonna spend my time with this or you want me to spend money on something over here and I'm not going to do that or you want me to proceed with a project in a way that I'm not comfortable with I I don't want to do that I have my own plans that I want to stick with so that's you having your boundaries why do narcissists provoke you when they know that you've already established yourself and they know that by provoking you're just uh worsens the wound is just like that constantly scraping that scab the answer is narcissists thrive on conflict eventually they so want to wear you down and let you arrive at your own conclusion that being your own separate self is just not worth it that just because you say no doesn't mean that they'll take it as no what it can mean is I've got some work to do and so they'll just keep pushing and pushing and pushing and so this this illustrates the uh you know one of the key ingredients of narcissism which is zero empathy when somebody else has a preference for example that I don't have mind I think well there must be a reason they have that preference I'd like to know and it could be that I'll find out you know this is why I prefer this and this is how I drew this belief and it may be something that I wouldn't prioritize but if I know that person then it's like well I can appreciate you having your uh your different thoughts that I have that's how healthy people do it but when you go to the narcissist and say well I I don't always think the same as you the narcissist is not interested in saying I'd like to know you better The Narcissist instead is interested in thinking my dominance is slipping how do I get that dominance back that's how they think and that's why you have to stand up to them that's why you have to have these boundaries because they were born and happily go into that high control uh the diminishing of you form of communication and then you have to ask your question you know am I willing to just play along with that by the way uh I have this little ditty when people uh you know you have already established who you are and then they come back and they mock you for what your beliefs are this little that he says you have to be little to belittle that's what I've mentioned that before you have to be little to belittle narcissists when they just Whittle away at you illustrate how small they feel on the inside you ever think of it that way they want you to feel small but it's actually a projection uh it's their way of saying I'm only able to live inside a very tight uh scheme here very tight agenda very tight narrow band of doing things and so in my smallness if I can diminish you then that makes me feel elevated you have to be a little to belittle as opposed to thinking expansively that's that's what's behind the scenes there okay all right here here we have another one and this uh this goes with the notion that says you want to be your own separate person and the narcissist is over there trying to figure out how to respond to you so this person asked the question well do narcissists who give you the silent treatment want you to beg them to tell you what's wrong with you and the answer is oh yes yes yes yes yes yes of course the silent treatment is uh is their way of reminding you I'm still mad and I still think you're a and so you have decided this is who I am these are my convictions these are my preference this is my interpretation and the narcissist thinks well I'm just going to punish you and the way I'm going to punish you is I'm going to take away the privilege of you hearing from me okay I'm going to take away the privilege of you coordinating life with me that'll show you and that's what they're doing when they do this standoffish silent treatment um you know pulling back stonewalling so then the the person asked the question well are they wanting you who has set your boundary to say well tell me what's wrong or why are you doing this to me or did I offend you they love seeing you squirm in the silent treatment can it be its own uh form of gaslighting it's their way of saying well if I can just make you feel awkward and comfortable I've succeeded because I want you to eventually think well maybe that decision of yours was not a good decision and so they give you the silent treatment as there was saying uh I I do not endorse you I do not approve of you and if you're a people pleaser and if you're somebody that says well I like to be connected they know that that hits home what if you decided okay be silent I'm just going to go ahead and go about my business and I'm going to do what I need to do and if you don't want to participate if you don't want to go along with me I mean I know that there are some limitations that you might have you might be working on a project together or pursuing other relationships in a joint kind of way you could use their cooperation so I know it can create its own friction but at some point it's like that's just yet another arrow they have in their quiver that they're going to shoot at you they're constantly trying to figure out how can I make you sorry feel sorry for being you and it's like okay that's their gig I don't feel sorry for being who I am so the silent treatment is just yet another of their manipulative ploys to keep you off kilter to keep you doubting yourself like I say that's the definition of uh of gaslighting like nice try but if you want to double down on all of your control and all like that I see it for what it is thanks but no thanks I'm moving forward anyway I so hope that you can do that and I know that so many of you who are listening right now have just felt so worn down by these narcissistic people who just more or less imply being you is just a bad idea no it's not being you means you're you're distinct from them and in their minds it's like you can't do that it's like watch I'm gonna do it okay okay so this person brings in a religious element this person says it's exhausting just being quiet and not taking the bait from my husband especially now that he's using the Bible against me how do I stay on track when I know I'm being baited uh okay so here you've decided Well I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna make this decision I'm going to use this priority and then you have this uh self-righteous person that says well I'm not getting the traction that I want just based on my own merits I'm not having the the success controlling this person over here I know what I'm going to do is I'm going to appeal to God and um where's my Bible here I'm going to bang you over the head with it and by the way this isn't just in Christianity this can be in other religions as well it's like well if I can appeal to the highest Authority and say well I have an inside track okay with the with the uh the inside of the with the ultimate Authority and obviously you don't so you need to listen to me because um well I'm you know God like if you know what I'm saying we have we have big guy but then we have me and uh and I'm I'm gonna go ahead and uh be the spokesman here and I condemn you you're on your way to the high place and you're not going to be found in any kind of favor and let me throw out a few verses that are going to show you how that is I think uh my heart aches when I know that people do something like that the last I heard God is love what happened to Mercy and Grace and it doesn't mean that you don't have standards obviously uh in your uh spiritual thoughts you do have convictions I I respect that greatly but I don't think that it's uh it's in your uh purview as a religious person to say Well when somebody doesn't uh and somebody doesn't agree with my religious convictions I am going to pound them into submission until I can just you know make them I'll guilt them into doing things to me that's that's an ultimate perversion of your religious beliefs by the way there's there's a quote by C.S Lewis that I absolutely love he says in the beginning God made man in his own image and ever since man has been trying to return the favor uh what it means is so many times some of the things that we ascribe to God is just well it's actually me uh but if I can dress it up and say well the Lord told me then that'll shut you up on it and I just think that's a perversion I I think there's something that's terribly wrong that goes there I'm hoping that you can understand that you're committed to decency and love and morality and all that goes along with that and if somebody feels the need to use judgment and condemnation over you to get you in to their mold there's nothing Godly about something like that okay that that really bothers me when I know that people do that because I know that I mean most of you know that I'm I'm a spiritually based person and I feel like we need to have a sense of meaning and a sense of purpose Beyond just what we have in our mundane lives and then when somebody comes along and twists it up like this and says well here's the formula and you better stay in it or else you're going to get clobbered it's like no I I don't think so but nonetheless that's the way some people try to do it okay uh speaking of all of this and here's another question along these lines The Narcissist said to me that I don't submit well that I'm too argumentative and then she asked the question what does it mean to be submissive this is where I get tangled up now I don't know if this is being said in a religious concept uh uh connotation or if it's just uh you know you're supposed to be submissive because I'm I'm the head one there what does it mean to be submissive the truth is submission's not a bad word the narcissists like to think of it as that you need to submit to me and what they mean is shut up and do what I say and so you're not being submissive and so if you argue back which uh you know our theme Here is standing up to the narcissist and it may not be that you're being that argumentative but if you say well I just don't agree ah you're just being argument then you're not being submissive well let's ask let's let's answer that question what does the word submission mean well first let's break the word now we have the word Mission okay Mission implies that you have a sense of purpose there's a sense of meaning there's a uh a a a goal that you're trying to achieve and you're trying to live into your mission sub is a prefix that means beneath and so when you have a submissive mindset it means I'm living on uh in a sense of purpose I'm living with uh with the decency leading the way and I'm doing it beneath a uh an authority now and let me give you a simple example when I'm out driving my car I want to have a submissive attitude when I'm in the in the uh the public domain it's not just all about me in that moment we have a system of laws in our country and we say basically as you engage with your life you need to do so in such a way that considers the needs of other individuals and so when I drive the speed limit or when I stop at a red light or when I you know do whatever I'm supposed to do traffic wise I'm being submissive to the rule of law I have a mission and my mission is I want to conduct my life with certain principles but the sub part means but I want to do so uh with an understanding that there's a guiding principle above me that's what we're talking about when we talk about submission submission doesn't mean shut up and don't have an opinion submission implies that you live your sense of purpose you live your sense of uh discretion with the understanding that there's a greater good that you're too uh to uh to show consideration to and you can do that while at the same time still being a person of initiative one of the things that narcissists like to do is they like to lanch on in their authoritarian uh domineering mindset to words like submission and they like to say well if you're not submissive then that means you're subversive and it's like no you just have a bad idea of what's missing submission means you have to conform to me and that's not what we're talking about so just know uh they're coming from a different place okay okay now this person is kind of going to a place of um cynicism I mean excuse me see if you agree or disagree with where they're coming from this person says after suffering narcissistic abuse is it common to get to the point where you just think screw it or is that in itself narcissistic okay that's a good question so here this person goes on to say is it common to become tired of being there for everyone else when they're rarely there for you so this person is saying you know I've been trying real hard to get along with folks and finally I'm at a point of saying just screw it all out I don't want to mess with it anymore does that mean that I have become the narcissist well if you're if you're harsh and mean about it that's one thing but let's let's put some other words in there if you say you know after many many efforts of trying to get along with this narcissist if I finally say I feel hurt or if I finally say I'm feeling real disillusioned here or if I finally say I feel a certain disgust towards this controlling people is that narcissistic and I'm thinking no to feel that way doesn't mean that you're automatically qualified as a narcissist it means you feel hurt or disillusioned or disgusted and so just because you have these strong negative feelings doesn't mean that you have crossed over to the dark side and you've become this evil kind of person basically when you have that kind of feeling it can be your mind and your emotional system's way of saying I'm done this isn't working for me enough is enough I'm standing up to the powers uh that that person is trying to hold over me and I'm saying I'm not going to submit to that anymore I'm not going to succumb and become the nobody that that person wants me to be does that make me a narcissist The Narcissist will think oh that's a nasty word yeah that's what you are you're a narcissist like no I'm not they're using that word in a wrong connotation I'm not being controlling I'm not showing no empathy I'm not being not condescending I'm saying I'm hurting and to say that I'm hurting and by the way I have a feeling of disgust that goes along with it that's not necessarily a wrong thing now sure enough if you hold on to that emotion to where it just guide you for a long long stretch of time and you can you turn into a contemptuous person you become somebody that's exceedingly argumentative and exceedingly difficult okay with that that's a horse of a different color but uh don't uh fault yourself for saying I'm really struggling and I don't like what I'm looking at this is something that bothers me that's when you know that's why I have to stand up to it okay um so don't don't buy into that okay this kind of goes along with the same one you see we're staying with our theme Here of standing up to that narcissist and you find out this this doesn't always bring wonderful results but nonetheless sometimes you need to do it anyway um the next question this person asked what do you do if the narcissist takes everything you say as a criticism the implication is uh do I just quit do I just quit speaking up well let's keep in mind that narcissists aren't exactly what we refer to as highly enlightened people they're not highly insightful people now they want to make you think that they've they've got everything by the tail you know that they are in fact very enlightened so if you come along and say I don't really agree with this but I prefer this instead or if you stand up and say well you want me to do this but I've determined that thus and such is going to be a different uh path that I need to take and then you follow through on it then they can come back and come with all sorts of uh complaints about you one of them can be you know everything I say you just criticize or you you just don't you can't get along with anyone can you and so they'll they'll try to figure out how to diminish whatever your decisiveness leads you to but it doesn't mean that you're still you're wrong and they're still right what it means is you have somebody that whines a lot and you have somebody that just can't take input and you have somebody that doesn't appreciate you being true to yourself and so what do you do when the narcissist God says well everything you do now you know is wrong they can they they can consider you to be the critic all I'm going to say there is consider the source know that narcissists love to play the victim game uh whenever you say that this isn't working for me in their victimization they say well you're just making my life miserable it's like no actually your life's kind of miserable and it would be that way whether I was showing up today or not uh just the fact that I show up and exist you feel miserable that's not on me that's on you so team healthy we're gonna we're gonna wrap it up for today I've got multiple things here that I could get into but we're down on time let's just run with the thought that says whenever you stand up and say I want to let it be known this is who I am I'm comfortable with my decisions I'm comfortable with my initiatives you're going to get a lot of blowback and uh the fact that narcissists will push back and they'll try to invalidate and Gaslight and undermine and uh you know hold grudges it doesn't mean that what you're doing when you stand up is a wrong thing what it means is you're dealing with a deeply immature person who can't be a reason with an objective way and sometimes you just have to uh make room for the fact that there's going to be some awkwardness and discomfort but I go back and say I'm just not very good when I'm trying to be somebody I'm not I don't want to so filter my way of life through that unhealthy narcissist that I wind up not standing up for myself and I wind up letting them have dominance and then in the meantime I'm a shelled of who I need to be here on team healthy what we're saying is be you and be a thoughtful be a considerate be a conscientious you and when the narcissist doesn't agree with that it's like I realize that I'm going to be me anyway all right guys thank you so much for sending these questions in and I'll be holding on to these and uh if I have a chance at other times to uh to throw some answers at y'all do that for those of you who still have uh questions we're going to keep going uh put your questions in the uh the comments section I'll be picking up on them I I really appreciate you letting me be on your journey and uh with you and then we have our our team healthy group here that you encourage each other there as well I I think that that's something that we could all use some of you know that healthy encouragement so stay strong I hope you have a good rest of the week and I shall see you the same time next week bye

Channel: Surviving Narcissism

Views: 31,783

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Id: qMkqhNiettA

Length: 41min 51sec (2511 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 26 2022