Let me take you back to 2002 Online gaming for consoles was just starting to emerge You had the PS2 Network Adapter and you had Xbox Live Remember stupid ass Dark Master? I must have been like 12 years old when I got my Xbox I got Return to Castle Wolfenstein I got that old school headset and I’d get in there on Xbox Live and I’m like: Hey guys! Let’s go win the game, dude! And just a wave of angry douches descend on me like: Shut the fuck up you little gay ass you little fucking 6 year old little bitch shut up and I’m just sitting there with a big ass smile on my face like “This is amazing” And I loved Xbox Live as a kid playing Counter-Strike, MechAssault, Halo 2, Burnout 3, DOA I remember putting the stupid voice mask on and wack to sound like a robot It was a magical place where you could call some black dude in his thirties a "pee pee head" "Dude! They can hear me! And I can hear them!" "That's the coolest thing about Xbox Live, the voice." And you would just make friends with the most unlikely people that you would never meet in a hundred years in real life And I’ve met some of my oldest friends on Xbox Live, ya know, some of the funniest, most genuine people of all time Ya know maybe charging 50 bucks back in 2002 when the consumer didn’t know anything about that ya know, it was just coming out But, it’s 2015 now Ya know, things change We know now that it doesn't cost shit to play games online We know you spend any money on the servers, or do any upkeep at all Xbox Live is essentially Microsoft taking money for doing absolutely nothing No other consoles were charging you money to play their games online, and yet, Xbox still did it the worst out of all three of them Gears of War, you guys remember this game was so inconsistent and laggy and host would always just clean house in that game And then over here you had PS3 with Resistance 2 Completely free-to-play online, and you had 60 players in a match, and it -- it just worked beautifully And that was probably the moment where I was like: Okay, why are they still charging me for Xbox Live? But, Sony saw that you know, you could just get money for free so they said fuck it They pulled a complete 180 And now they charge you money to play PS4 online So thank you Microsoft Thank you for inspiring your competitors to sink to your level The original white Xbox 360 was a terrible piece of hardware Ya know, back in 2009 it was reported that 54% of them had broke down and that number has probably gone way up since then I remember i got the Red Ring back when, Blue Dragon came out I was so sad because that was pretty much the only thing I was doing was playing Xbox everyday And a shitload of 360s were getting Red Rings so Microsoft responded with this fake ass repair policy to save face claiming that they would extend warranties on older units to fix the Red Rings So, [Clears throat] what you had to do is you had to call support would ship you a box in like four weeks You had to put your Xbox in there ship it back to Microsoft and then a month later, they send you your Xbox back and it was still broken and [Chuckles] it was such a shitshow And I did this six times Six times I sent it back to Microsoft, and they sent it back broken every time and on my seventh attempt the guy on phone support tells me: “Oh I’m sorry sir, you’re no longer covered by the warranty.” So yeah, Microsoft’s actual response to every 360 breaking down was: Hey, buy this new black Xbox 360. This one actually works! Games for Windows Live is the single worst interface ever introduced in the history of PC gaming It was designed as a sick practical joke by the Nazis to troll gamers Now for this one I gotta take you back a couple years My Youtube channel was just starting to do good I was making some decent money off my videos So like a complete fucking idiot I signed a year long lease for this really expensive apartment And then the month I move in Youtube ads start paying 40% of what they were previously paying Not to mention you know, I Machinima taking a huge cut of that money "Sign here please." "WELCOME TO MACHINIMA!" [Scream] So during that whole year I was just super stressed out Trying to make as videos as I could to make enough money to live off of and I was putting out, ya know, 8 to 9 videos a month So pretty much just back to back everyday, every hour working on videos And I was just looking to for any opportunity to make some extra money to pay this stupid enormous rent And Microsoft comes in with this deal they say: “Oh, okay. We’ll pay you 2 months rent if you make four videos for our new indie game we’re putting out.” So I email them and I say: “Okay, I’ll do it. What are the guidelines?” and they respond: “Oh just do whatever you want” So I make this and within 2 hours Microsoft takes down the video they cancel the deal with me and they don’t even pay me for that first video Now this is the knock out punch this is where Microsoft sums their entire purpose as a company into one single moment Valve was releasing a whole new set of maps for Left 4 Dead for free they were give you all the new maps for free Microsoft saw this and told them no you can’t do that because they didn't like the precedent Valve was setting with the free DLC and they didn’t want other companies following in Valve's example So, you had the maps for free on day one on PC and then 3 weeks later, you had them for $20 on Xbox You have to [Laughs] ask yourself What kind of human being would perpetrate such terrible, evil acts upon the gaming community? Ya know? Unless they weren't people at all Think about it Xbox Live, the faulty hardware, Windows 8, 13 billion dollars worth of sand Microsoft is run by ANTS It’s run by ants DreamWorks, you guys know DreamWorks right Shrek, Madagascar, How to Train Your Dragon DreamWorks was actually founded by Microsoft’s own Paul Allen Do you guys recall what was DreamWorks' first movie they put out? Oh wha-what was that? IT WAS ANTZ It was Antz ladies and gentlemen It was fucking Antz I rest my case
Did you make it that far into the video? He talks about Games For Windows Live and MS approaching with a deal for Dunkey to do some videos and then backing out on it.
I knew Didley would appear on this sub eventually.
5/5 mastapeece.
Dunkey is the best YouTuber imo.
There was nothing stopping Microsoft from building up Windows as a gaming platform, and making Windows HTPCs console-level-simple to set up OOTB like SteamOS.
Instead, they made the Xbox, and occasionally put games in GFWL purgatory. And spouted lies about their intentions.
It's not just consoles. He touches on some of their shitty business practices as a whole. Xbox live is only the tip of the iceberg.
HOLY SHIT. I remember this motherfucker! He first made a Reddit post outlining the entire timeline of sending back his 360's. lol
You know what makes steam kinda super fucking cool?
Playing a new game on release, getting a bunch of trading cards, and selling those cards for like $5 since they are relatively new and rare and then buying a game on sale. I mean, you are basically buying games from all the hard work you did buy playing another game!
The double think is strong in this place
Umm the shitshow that was Windows 8, and Games for Windows Live.