Micky Talks About Sex! | Micky Flanagan

i'm going to talk about sex for a little while strapping isn't it funny now sex everyone's [ __ ] gone sex man i don't know if someone said you having the best sex are you having the longest sex you having the [ __ ] hardest sex i blame pornography consumption of pornography it's got it out of hand you couldn't get it in the 70s i couldn't get it it was a legal minute to go to a dirty cinema didn't they they got a mac and cut the pockets out of it and they just took a pair of trousers that they cut the top bit off and just tied it above their knees and he knows a lot about this they record the dirty mac brigade and they'd go in the cinema right put their hands in their pockets let's see like a manual too or something have a proper it's polish i'm giving it to the street here people and you get to the 80s suddenly much more common pornography because you had people sort of we got the video recorder turned up didn't it and suddenly you could get a film every factory every warehouse had a bit of a nonce in it things you would reproduce them in our factory it was called colin the polisher and come out we go for the weekend got some he'll be blinding they're from the continent he only had three teeth [ __ ] me i'm hogging you and dark oak and uh use him as a color chart come on it was a proper nonce do what i found for the weekend and what you did was you got the film for the weekend three quid something like that and you took it home and you plied the wife with martini the bianco and then about half past 10 11 you went i've got a filming work babe i don't know if your parents be watching it might be good worth watching you put the film and suddenly you're watching a man of a huge donor go on for hours and you're thinking this might have backfired a little bit this is not natural babe is it the way that man's shaping up but that means very well let's cut to the present day pornography consumed all day long by people hardcore pornography horrible pornography aggressive pornography it's reached the point where when teenagers have sex for the first time they try and strangle each other is this it i thought it would be more fun than this because we're teenage pregnancy is nothing no is it you know it's been in the news lately about they want the teenager to abstain and things like that but people the teenagers were still shagging each other back in the 70s but they got married if they got someone pregnant you met your mate then the public said you know that tracy you know i told you i [ __ ] her she's having a baby you go well that's you finished then now you want a game of pull [Laughter] life's in the balance i like nudity indoors i don't like public nudity i've tried it me and my wife went on a little greek holiday once and she talked me into going to the bleeding nudist beach now there's a problem if you're a male from the uk you've been covering your penis up for legal reasons all of your adult life and suddenly you're just walking about in front of people and the penis is not having it because what the [ __ ] are you doing what are you [Music] doing and it hides in the pubes suddenly you're standing there with a vagina because you can't do what you do after five a side or swimming where most men give it a little tug and liven it up a little bit you just have to use the powers of concentration to get it somewhere between flaccid and lob on somewhere right in the middle i'm laying there on the sunbed i'm in bits i'm trying to maintain some sort of dignity i looked at my wife i said this is the worst day of my life i need a drink i said i'm going to that bar at the back do you think you have to put your clothes on she said don't be stupid it's a nudist beach i went bowling into the bar you do have to put your clothes on never has a lager taken so long to pour slow realization everyone else has got their clothes on could that be yeah so it's creating problems with couples i met an evident sex therapist right as part of my late sky show and i was talking to her about the consumption of pornography she said it's causing big problems with couples make big problems she said we're having a major issue with pegging right pegging right for those who don't know is when the uh the female of the species who is more deadly than the male right she puts on a strap-on dildo and she penetrates the man anally not annually that's a completely different thing so the women are seeing it thinking i fancy a bit of that but there's a lot of men who don't want to be pegged amongst couples right so i said to the sex therapist that she's top of her game she's you know she's a does ted talk she knows what she's talking about i said right you got a couple the woman wants to peg the man don't want to be pegged what's your advice she said michael i tell him to try at least once i said how does this help so she said it's good for the man because the first time in his sexual life he has to partake in an act that he's not particularly keen on yet has to show some level of appreciation for for right i'm getting it right on sister i said but given that the dildo is rubberized and has no sensation what's really going on here she said michael this is about control power but ultimately revenge i said revenge she said yes i said revenge for what she said i believe this is revenge for the facial right so i said revenge for the facial so she said yes she said for many many years men were happy to ejaculate on the breasts this was the holy grail it was called a pearl necklace right this is what this was their bigger she said but they're not happy now unless the woman ends up looking like a plasterer's radio at the end of the session she's going to be a current van in the sun before anyone's had a good time and women are sick of it what i'm trying to say lads is if at some point in the not too distant future you catch yourself over the kitchen table farting on a dish cloth while she tears into you you sort of brought it on yourself aren't you [Applause] so i thought i'd do that bit at the next royal variety performance i won't be doing that again they keep on asking me to do it i'm not bowing and scraping in front of that big ear no [ __ ] here's a counter boy family [ __ ] after la here get a job you

Channel: Micky Flanagan

Views: 1,894,831

Keywords: Micky Flanagan, Micky Flanagan Stand Up, Stand Up, Stand Up Comedy, The Out Out Tour, Back in the Game, An' Another Fing, live at the apollo, mock the week, 8 out of 10 cats, Comedy Roadshow, A League of Their Own, was it something i said?, Detour de France, Sex, Sex Ed, Intercourse, Love Honey, Sex Toys, Dildo, Relationships, Couple, Sex Therapist, birds and the bees, dating, tinder, strap on, out out, come in your house

Id: lji4LelExpM

Length: 9min 2sec (542 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 21 2020