Memes That Make You Hol' Up

I think I found my new lawyer just because you did it doesn't mean you're guilty a little bit of snow on the ground and everyone forgets how to drive mother of twins gives birth to quadruplets yeah he looks happy I've been in seven car accidents this year you can't tell me God doesn't have a plan for me it sounds like he is trying to kill you I don't understand woman I thought opening a door for a lady what's the polite thing to do but she just screamed and flew out the plane serial killers collecting skins Gamers there is no similarity between us and the gamers a fitness app just gave up on me these reminders don't seem helpful we will stop them so they don't bother you when I babysit my niece she makes me play Operation her favorite part is when she dies and we have a funeral for her there's nothing like a good belly rub after you've eaten someone's grandmother of model horrified to learn her stepdad was her number one customer I love my baby but I wish he would stop saying this human form is limiting it's been six months since I joined the gym and no progress I'm going there in person tomorrow to see what's really going on my new new business cards just arrived Alex Taylor please do not contact me kids in 2098 reading the 2020s chapter if there's gonna be kids by then so I decided to try an avocado for the first time today this tastes terrible I think I have invoked Hispanic wrath because people keep replying in Spanish being a guy is crazy because the moment you turn 13 you're competing with grown men for girls your age finally after months of working hard and saving up I am able to afford this t-shirt from the University of Maryland inventor is creating a terrifying VR headset that kills you if you die in the video game how I made 290 000 selling books people fight over crab legs at local buffet using tongs like swords it's stupid when girls say they can't find a guy yet they ignore me it's like saying you're hungry when there's a hot dog on the ground outside the only reason to buy a 2 000 Galaxy fold this is what I do in the shower for 45 minutes okay you walk into your work bathroom and find this what percentage of that cupcake do you think is technically safe to eat found my grandpa's old class photos he had such funny looking friends so I met a cute guy at the bar last night danced with him says he doesn't have a girlfriend we exchanged Snapchats I look him up on Facebook and he doesn't have a girlfriend he has a wife I accidentally hit the language button on my remote last night and watched Family Guy in Spanish for 10 minutes thinking it was a weird joke somebody waited their whole life to write this serial number for you to pee into sometimes when my girl makes me mad I upload pictures with her forehead edited to be slightly bigger my wife yelling from the bedroom asking do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it I replied no she yelled back how about now zombies and mummies are the same monster they just come from different socioeconomic backgrounds send your lady some flowers to work on Valentine's Day from a secret admirer if she doesn't bring the flowers home she's cheating for him this is so weird Amazon Echo frame glasses lets Alexa sit on your face it's Alexa do what someone called a vet because my kitten is sick as hell all podcasts have the same three people hosting it my long-term girlfriend and I just broke up this is the best way I know to mend a broken heart man arrested for breaking into ex-girlfriend's apartment to steal her Nintendo switch I'm gay LOL I'm not actually gay my boyfriend took my phone and tweeted that I'm a girl and I don't understand I'm a guy by the way you just said you were a girl he changed gender mid-sentence it's 2021 he could do that I was riding in an Uber with a gay male colleague when his grinder app notification went off on his phone the female Uber driver said I know that sound my husband plays that game all the time there is a jellyfish whose sting will leave you with impending sense of Doom and oppressing thoughts whilsting up to two weeks I dated a woman like that once God you probably have 70 to 80 years at most before you die ideally oh well I'll make the most of you will be unconscious for one third of the time uh Linden that will be your favorite part I never thought I would own a home business and a car by 30 and I still don't but it's Friday and I'm logging off early my parents aren't home you know what that means sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room this is too accurate I ain't afraid of goats who are you going to call Goat butter anyone else suspicious of that pineapple when I was younger I thought cops were legally allowed to commit crimes and get away with it then I got older and found out that wasn't true and then I got even older and found out it was true bro I offered this girl some noodles after doing it and she had the nerve to say so everything's two minutes here I've been depressed since then can we go to a haunted house this year what's wrong with the one we live in what good night son if you have a small pee pee smile if you have a big put a coin in this guy deserves a PhD in marketing imagine you're with your girlfriend and you put a coin and she smiles imagine if she puts a coin My Town had a really bad storm two days ago and my neighbor lost the roof of his house and the poor guy doesn't even have insurance I've decided to start a GoFundMe to raise money so I can go to Hawaii for a few weeks because he's about to be doing some instruction and I hate being around all the noise why did my dad say this fun fact Scooby-Doo came out today 50 years ago he's gay I was so productive in digital art class yesterday I made these soda rip-offs enjoy just met Shaq they said no cell phone photography I thought he did not see me recording until I watched the video Friday is fine Thursday 700 two-day shipping No More Tears yeah I don't think you should be doing this imagine the middle child walking by herself onto your islet wool mode okay but what about the youngest child human being sounds like she's secretly a reptilian and is trying very hard to convince everyone she isn't is it just me or does Justin Bieber look like a 35 year old lesbian when the teacher walks up to you during an exam looks at your paper then shells guys make sure you read the questions carefully if the Rock and Emma Stone had a baby when I'm trying to watch a documentary about a killer that was never caught and my grandpa walks in and says that's not how it happened would you like to meet us at Chili's for half price appetizers and violence since it's Wednesday what do you mean and violence me flying to the pots and pans Isle after eating 15 pounds of magnets bro's mum is simply too beautiful respectfully she might mess with you I would have some growing and maturing to do still before I could make a woman like that happy but he is self-aware my cat I named him Johnson are you serious hi Johnson why isn't he reacting when I say his name you lied to me you like all the others I think here's a picture just ordered a pizza and it was like 36 dollars am I getting a neutron star on the side like what the [ __ ] yo watch out someone has put a bounty on you for that amount when I was like 9 or 10 I used to have this as my wallpaper it was almost a motivational it gave me unexplainable power ball food is the new hot Trend where you eat food out of a bowl 16 000 BCE post I told my girlfriend that I left her 60 dollars for gas in the bathroom it's going on four days she hasn't founded my fat self thought this was fancy home when I was 16 I saw a beautiful girl across a crowded room at a party and I asked her to dance ten years later I asked her to be my wife both times she said no poor skulls when they find out the horse their dad bought them is a female my dad once said do what you hate first thing in the morning to get her out of the way then two months later called me on my birthday at 6am whenever I get changed from a store I always put it in a little jar when I get home it doesn't seem like a lot but over time it adds up so on rainy days when I'm hungry and I don't have lunch money I can just go into my piggy bank and eat the coins boyfriend's excitement short-lived as girlfriend gets down on her knees but proposes instead yesterday our neighborhood Barber was arrested for selling drugs I was his customer for 10 years never knew he was a barber the trouble with Senators so you know how Colts can run almost right away after they're born but babies can't even hold their own heads up for a long time yeah hey man I'm going to be flying around your house tomorrow just thought I would let you know people who prefer ketchup over mustard are annoying because as soon as you say you like mustard they go on and on about how much they hated like okay you have the same flavor palette you had when you were five but that doesn't mean you should insult what I put in my coffee 185 dollars for a paper Club this thing better be able to hold my life together I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing it would definitely spice up my autobiography A little my therapist told me to write letters to all the people who've ever heard me and then burn them I did that but what do I do with the letters having a rough day just remember that an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards so when life is dragging you back with difficulties it means it's about to send you forward to kill someone the no smoking with kids in the car law is ridiculous just look at them standing out there in the rain when your partner tells you he slash she cheated on you I know there's a temptation to ask with who resisted instead ask with whom speak good English no matter the circumstances in high school I was placed in the English bottom class where a teacher said to my face I would never make it as a writer today 20 25 years later after uncountable knockbacks from almost every publisher I make static to finally be able to announce that my teacher has died hashtag never give up I have invented a pregnancy test step be downloaded and then piss on the screen and if the screen gets Covered In Piss you are not allowed to have kids he's been in it for like a year and now he's going to be a father I haven't told him yet he's going to freak out sitting right behind the exit room guy takes his feed stretched out picture with a caption though I look like I set an economy sent from economy so a friend of mine works at a card dealership a young person came in with an older car and wanted to know why his iPhone charging port is scratching his screen and not charging pick up the book closest to you go to page 206 the first sentence explains your love life page 206 doesn't exist doesn't exist answers the question 10 years ago I was addicted to drugs now I have a wife family car and a great job a few years ago my boyfriend cheated on me on my birthday and his defense was I didn't even know it was your birthday being an adult means you don't get rewarded anymore when you eat all your food my nephew ate two chicken fingers and got rewarded with ice cream I ate five and my mom said I thought you were on a diet I have a blind date tonight she asked me what vehicle I drive I replied two door Mercedes she said give me more time to dress up I think it's going to be a great date what's your address I'm spending the night that's the animal shelter yeah they take in stories not me good night class starts at nine near 8.99 I think it would be in your best interest to attend how is it 2023 and nobody's come up with a satisfying explanation as to why cell phones never show up in our rooms if we're using them for 12 hours a day hey shut up my mom's calling me about to make the most authentic female moaning sounds you've ever heard you are sentenced to five minutes of Snapchat news and YouTube shorts my money was losing seven percent every year due to inflation so I decided to invest it in the stock market now I'm losing seven percent every day can you spot the mistake this is just [ __ ] rude How to Succeed as an artist one have Rich parents James said [ __ ] that Pokemon [ __ ] and pulled out the AR no one college student if they hit me they hit me being a pet owner is like being a sugar dad you waste all of your money on keeping them happy and the only thing they do is look cute and give you attention sometimes tent poles not for dancing please find alternative ways to disappoint your father guys don't even say bless you anymore they just look at you they just look at you like this survived three years with the dog died one day after meeting a woman I'm not paying back my student loans they need to learn financial responsibility lending 20K to an 18 year old executioner strapping me into the electric chair any last words me if this thing works at all I will be shocked flips the switch so hard it snaps when a bridge suddenly appears unexpectedly oh [ __ ] a bridge me watching any Marvel movie after end game wait so Society is expected to just carry on as if this insane Collective trauma never happened that's ridiculous me in 20 you too oh I finally started using my money to invest in art the hell is this why do British people speak English an American language but rather speaking some European language Brazil versus poluto I did not know they had beef friendly reminder we can never go back to this point in time I found my ex-girlfriend's body in the morgue I work at today it was very awkward still giving you the silent treatment the cold shoulder that she goes to to save money maybe you should skip breakfast sexism is alive in America when to get an oil change and all the way to CIS males laughed at me and told me to get lost probably jealous because I drove a Tesla and they don't misogyny check let your phone complete the sentence women are women are so cute women are not a frog do not let a woman see this anyway there I was at 40 000 feet in my own private balloon not bothering anyone well damn lucky me are you actually a mess God yo lol I'm the eagle that's really cool I don't know anyone else who's a mouse God yeah well it's pretty neat we are not supposed to tell people that and a lot of people ask who is the eagle because they don't know but no one asks how is the eagle and it gets to you sometimes oh man well how is the eagle in the mood be the reason why your mother gets pregnant what does this mean what is a common myth about your country that is 100 false but many people still believe in it Romania many people believe we have vampires but in my 700 years of loving her I haven't even seen one I asked my friends back in the castle and they also haven't seen any and they've been around for longer than I have good news he's going to pull through we lost another one what was ruined because too many people started doing it my girlfriend I stopped a woman getting kidnapped today really how self-control when the bus driver starts driving and you weren't ready I just robbed a couple bangs and made 12 million dollars whoa didn't know you played GTO I don't play GTA hold on a second why does this kid have tomatoes in his backpack got a new vanity already threw up in it yup gotta make it feel like home hold up guys I need to sharpen my pencil see look at how dumb this is like well all right here we go no no still not show up enough no it must be sharper yes yes good bro stood up mid poop for the pledge my girlfriend was saving five thousand dollars for a new car little did she know for every dollar she set aside I took it to my presence for My Wife and Kids my family deserves this the world is about to be destroyed but you see the goth girl is watching you with Hope In Her Eyes Forever stuck between wanting to look fit and wanting to fit five whole pizzas in my mouth five whole pizzas hey oh my God so people really out here putting hot sauce in the fridge the back of the bottle literally says refrigerate after opening and young still put it in the cabinet you don't follow directions and that's why y'all keep getting pregnant inflation out of control last week my Mash Castle only costed four pounds 50 to Moog and now the ingredients are 5 pounds and 90. I nearly had to leave out the sausage bridge I hate how much a third monitor would improve my general workflow because even two monitors is too much I wish I could just be happy with one in your attempt to make the internet a more friendly place he made it more sterile and boring than ever oh wait this is the wrong personal I was like God damn what did I do Gotham being flooded it's the perfect opportunity to introduce a certain aquatic villain surfing Joker hate my job bro they brought the devour of Gods on my shift how I made 150k trading one I took a small loan of 300K from my dad put it into high risk [ __ ] coins lost half got scared decided it was time to cash out block my dad's number net profit of 150k secured if he changes his entire look for you travels 1900 miles Upstream to chase you procreate and dies replenishes an entire ecosystem with his carcass he's not your Valentine he's a salmon Mario card the closer to first place you are the less useful power-ups you get system is an ideal model for how our economy should work whoa I read this out loud to boyfriend and he just won't oh that's brilliant please shell the one percent give yourself permission not to be accessible at all times ignore that voicemail leave that message on red turn off your phone don't answer emails destroy your sim card burn your house down disappear under mysterious circumstances so my ex said he would get me an iPhone if I slept with him please tell me you didn't do it no I'm not a cheater good I love you it's funny to watch the neighbor blame the dog when I poop on his patio just for some context these two are the same ages as Leonardo Dicaprio and his new girlfriend 18 missing assignments and one day to do them I think my only option is to go missing under mysterious circumstances I can help it's alright majority of these are just case studies for one class I can probably finish them thank you though I meant help you go missing under mysterious circumstances did you know if you hold it oh mine up to your ear you can hear what it's like to be attacked by one excuse me you need a license to be that cute you are way over the legal limit I'm going to need to see some registration oh no I'm sorry officer I seem to have left my purse at home I don't have my license or registration my lady was saving five thousand dollars to buy a new car little did she know for every dollar she set aside I took it to a Guitar Center for studio equipment mixtape coming soon take care of yourselves Kings I came across a post which said change the language setting to dodge for fun and I did it's been an hour and I'm enjoying it my husband has been tolling away on my ancestry for years and this morning I finally got to enjoy the fruits of his labor an in-depth presentation with charts my teacher told me I would be no good at poetry due to my dyslexia but so far I've made three jokes and a boss so [ __ ] you Mr person ex-girlfriend's bitmoji this mod will replace sora's HUD icons with my ex's bitmoji she's constantly grinning even when she's taking damage to symbolize that she falls No Remorse for when she cheated on me LOL me leaving her house after she starts taking off her clothes instead of building Lego Batman sets with me gave her 40 dollars to pay rent and this is what he comes back with a woman in the Philippines spent four years praying to a green Buddha figure she purchased from a store until 1 day a friend pointed out the Buddha figure she had been praying to was actually shrike privacy doesn't exist in Atlanta I hated her me robbing a bank I am so sorry for the inconvenience I hope you don't have to stay late for this sheepishly fiddling with my gun I really do apologize for the hold up this is the price 300 do you want to who is this don't play games with me Cowboys are witches and horses are they're familiars guns are their ones and they only know one spell bullets why do you have so many YouTubes of yourself LMAO hmm Jessica please tell me it's you nope sorry fine I am going to disconnect now ah come back I can be your Jessica haha what's your name Muhammad stranger has disconnected my 16 year old daughter said she just wants to be alone she keeps saying she wishes she has a door what do I do I'm not giving her a door this little Filipino girl of age 11 couldn't afford a pair of running shoes for her school race so she made them herself using plastic in a tape and even drew a Nike logo on it after her story went viral Nike CEO traveled all the way to the the Philippines and visited her in person in order to sue her for 200k claiming copyright infringement at what temperature do you become gender solid the high school football coach when he sees a fat kid smashed through the crowded hallway like a semi truck in a rush to be the first one in line for lunch women went on six dates a week to save on food I did not write groceries for two years how I used to take selfies in the 90s the average drunk driver drives Under the Influence more than 80 times before being arrested what the [ __ ] eight of my cousins around my age just got married this year just this year eight of them some people don't even have eight cousins in total that's Four Weddings what's the song Father days come little box thanks several nurses at Main Hospital are pregnant at the same time when the farmer starts milking but you're actually a bull woman hikers throw the kitchen sink at gender stereotypes as they climb a mountain with washing stations attached to their bag Asian man spends 30k making a hyper-realistic dog costume man killed and cooked by hungry Neighbors after mistaking him him for a stray dog my husband is divorcing me because I cheated can I get half of what he earns without getting also the kids I want to have fun with the money and I think the kids would take too much of my time when I'm in shops security follows me to make sure I'm safe I'm glad we're being valued now my aunt is ranked top 10 on Pokemon go my uncle is top 8 in Candy Crush my uncle is top 5 on FBI's most wanted list when your girlfriend leaves a breakup note on your PlayStation saying this isn't working but you turn it on and it works just fine Pepsi tastes like soap what kind of soap do you use Pepsi my roommate brought a boy back home at 3am and the first thing she did was make him fix our broken garage door and our balloon fuse she's a true Innovation queen I'm laughing because apparently when I was born my mom was just like oh my water broke okay hold up let me call the doctor and she called the doctor and the doctor was like come in now you're having a baby and then my mom and dad were like yo okay be right there and then they stopped and had breakfast at IHOP for like two hours my mum literally procrastinated on my birth so she could have a stack of pancake kids it's [ __ ] up seven years ago I worked at a small company of about 15 people I sent an email to all my co-workers one Friday inviting them on a weekend hike only one person came a guy from the web development team that I had hardly spoken to today is our sixth wedding anniversary we're going hiking web development guy sounds like someone who might have the expertise to delete their email from everyone else's inbox do you think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ha Tisdale points to the devil in the church's glass to my sister I think he shall make a fine groom for the legalized comedy comedy is now legal on Twitter going forward any Twitter handles engaging and impersonation without clearly specifying parody will be permanently suspended admission I'm a time traveler from 2020. enjoy 2016. it's as good as it gets for a while this tweet aged well what's a mob to a King what's a king to a god what's a god to a non-believer what's a non-believer to a poisonous dart frog what's a poisonous dart frog to a King okay I'm not very I don't know why I downloaded this Kevin lasagna style of play a tool and quick left footed forward lasagna's natural role is that of a main striker in the center lasagna has many layers to his game some kid runs around my gym runs into my leg as I'm trying to lock out the lift I drop the bar into the ground loudly tell the kid to piss off his mother shows up anger as hell tells me to stop lifting around the kids I reply she should keep the kids away from me the next day the kid is bothering me again when I'm doing chest slam the weights loudly right next to him kid cries tells his mother I'm scary the mom flip sound gives me a huge rant about what a meat head on him I yell back she eventually starts crying and runs off with both of her kids she moves out I never see her or the little kids again home gym Master race

Channel: VaazkL

Views: 693,724

Keywords: vaazkl memes, vaazkl, memes, hold up memes, hol up, hol up memes, hol up reddit, reddit memes, hol up memes 2023

Id: zbBv26Qvf5k

Length: 22min 47sec (1367 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 22 2023