Medjugorje Mladifest 2019 s. Brigitta testimony

I said a city yet no Sun and now what is going to follow it's interesting in testimony that way you're not just like you now she was at the youth festival she was close to the goal of John Paul the second National Guard a lot and in one moment something happened what happened who is that person who was that girl we would like to hear that now we would like to hear that now and it's going to be through video by video why didn't she come here that's also interesting but we will leave that surprises Sara Brigitta that's the technique I'm using Splenda me Muslim of testimony of sister Brigitta our technical is ready now your youth I'm so glad that I'm with you in this way I cannot describe you the joy that I feel in my heart because I thought I would not be able to come to magic area again but you can see that magic or you came to me I'm so glad and this is such joy within me but I long for this joy I'm also a little bit nervous I'm a little bit afraid how am I going to talk in front of you about my calling but I realized this is all God's gift God arranged this all and I need to share that with others not to keep it within myself and I wanted to avoid this invitation but I heard that they suggested me to speak at the youth festival I said no I will not be chosen they have so many proposals I'm definitely not going to be chosen and I prayed for that intention not to be chosen but God wanted to be different and again I would be I was afraid my god how am I going to be chosen I'm not a speaker how am I going to speak now in front of all other people and it was that month when the lady said in the message dear children witness and be proud because you have you were risen in him this was the message to the lady ask our lady ask us to witness and then I had a quotation from the Holy Bible to see what Jesus has saying to me and Jesus said in John's Gospel Jesus says and you will witness because you were with me from the beginning then I said okay I can see that this is your will that is how I'm with you now my calling is now starting started from a little childhood I come from place from a hundred kilometers away from mature Korean they remember is the little one the girl what my mom took me to Holy Mass and I loved to listen to church songs and while I was listening something was touching me in my heart and of course they did not understand I was little but I really was happy when I would sing this nothing special happened in my childhood the family situation was different then with the other speakers my mom worked abroad and my dad took care of us three children and something happened that turned my life journey when I was 11 years old my dad got sick and my dad died this was a very difficult period for my family but with the help of God we were able to endure that my mom continued to work abroad so she would provide for us children and I remained there to take care of my brother and sister be with relatives two-button we would be mostly on our own and maybe I grew up a little bit earlier now I see this was all supposed to be God's plan then there was a turning point that took place in the high school when I was 15 or 16 years old when I went to master in must strives in the high school and I came to the Franciscan Youth and I joined distances can use and we lived the Gospel according to Saint Francis of Assisi and this Franciscan youth really changed me this experience was really profound and I believe that it's very good when young people are part of some kind of church community during the time of the other lessons because this is something that influences you as a person that my calling was influenced and so this time with the youth encouraged me that I would be freed because I was more closed as a person and everything was leading towards God the communion with God we would be at the Kali masses the desperation all the time we would go to mr. Khoury very often and all of this influenced my life my life journey and so what happened was something very special I started to read the life of st. Francis and I came to st. Clair to as something touched me in my heart when I was reading these biographies the way their way of life and all of that and I thought I'm not able to live like that they lived in the 13th century that's not a life for me I was looking at st. Francis how are you going to live that life now that was the task of every youth Franciscan member but there was something that was moved in me but I thought okay it's not possible to live like that I will continue my own journey and so for the University of the earth reaches 30th anniversary on June 25th 2011 with my family I went to metric Aurea and something miraculous happened in metric or adjust before Holy Mass we went on the pathway towards the risen Lord and I remembered that detail there on the meadow there were many people gathered there was the person there and something in my heart moved me that I go there to see what was going on people were crying they could not see that that something was showing me to come to go closer to come closer at the very beginning and when I came there I was able to see a young person young person lying down who had this manifestation two or three people were holding this person and she was having this very very big manifestation spiritual problems she was screaming and this was the first time that I met something like that and the priests prayed over this is person something moved me to start praying myself I saw her for the first time but something proved to me there and so we all prayed and after a while this person was well this person was better it she seemed like a new person then I realized that evil truly exists that Satan exists and Satan attacked this person but I also got to know that God is much stronger than evil that God can conquer everything with me believe in him when we believe in his servants this happened through the priests that this moved them think in my heart that I this was like a turning point my conversion up to that point I was like a traditional faithful but from that moment on I started to change I remembered that I cried so hard that I was thinking God that he's so great he's so mighty that He loves us so much that is when my change started even though I wasn't aware of that not long ago afterwards there was the adoration and adoration was for the spiritual vocation soul Franciscan youth was there and I was there and while I prayed for the other spiritual vocations in my interior I was able to hear voice why wouldn't you be able to be the spiritual location that you're praying for and I stopped what is this I was a little bit afraid of those thoughts and I was thinking I will deep this bury this deep in my heart and I will let's say anything to anyone this will disappear I had my plans and my ideas in my head and I was thinking when I would come to the Franciscan use when I was able to see how young people live and this fervor that happened to me and to find that the devoted guy and to have a children then I thought everyone will go to the monastery but not me and I buried that deep in my heart and I was thinking that I will look for some kind of devoted god-fearing guy to live with and soon afterwards I started to communicate that with that person and we got arrangement that we will go together to the youth festival this was the youth festival 2011 my first youth festival back 10 and in one moment well father Duncan spoke about the religious vocations he invited all the young people who in those moments felt that they had a vocation that come out of the altar something was in my heart and I wanted to go up to the altar to get with it to get rid all those other people but I felt bad there was this young boy I was I was there with him and they were uttered Franciscan you with us said no no no it's not that's not for me I shouldn't do that so I said God if you're calling me you will show that way to me that I don't need to go that I have a vocation and that want to acknowledge that I was running away from that and so everything was over and the cool high school of his running away classes for about three years and God so did he cannot reach me he started sending people friends from the franciscan youth who taught about this in the same way they already decided to go to the monastery and they said boo kita you also have a calling we can see that in you and I said I don't care what you see but I don't see that and I was kind of like struggling and just think I would be denying that whatever happened someone would ask me I would say no no no I have my own goals I don't have a calling I don't have a vocation so this escape lasted up till I was in the fourth grade of the high school and I could see all of my friends my friends were many of my friends were going to the monasteries some of them were going to study and I but about me what am I going to do on one hand I was attracted by the life in the monastery I could see that something was happening because this vocation was coming out all the time but at the other hand it was good for me to have to be a mother to have my children I felt as if I was on a roll I can demonstrate that I was being pulled to the one side the other side and I'm after I'm going to be broken or something is going to prevail something needed to happen I felt like I'm going to completely break and I realized that I needed to share this I couldn't keep it within myself anymore because there was a big pressure on me and I didn't know what to do so I decided to talk to the priest the priest that I knew well and for me I felt like someone was supposed to say to me calling vocation is that for you everyone was saying yes yes this is your journey but I wanted to hear from someone who said I would say this is not for you and I would feel easier and better in that way but this priest as if he felt that when I told him all that was going on in my heart everything that was happening he told me well in this moment fella if I ask you now to decide what would you choose would you choose to be mother and to have a children or you would go to the monastery and I would I said straight away it would be a mother and I would have a children and then he said okay maybe that's your calling you will study theology you will become a religious teacher you will be close to the church maybe this is your calling and as he spoke that I started to have this restlessness that I understood something else is what my heart wants and what God wants and he as if he felt that he said okay I'm giving you the number of a man and she's going to tell you her own experience like a woman and I accepted that in the following day I met with that nun and then she said to me it's obvious that you have this schooling you but what is the key no one can say to you that you have a cooling and that some of the sides is the view decision is yours now how to decide I have a calling but how to make a decision this was something so seemed so hard in that moment and that she gave me the spiritual tasks throughout the summer to look at the life of the Saints to read their lives since she said say novena to the Holy Spirit and in those nine days that you may decide and the stirring and whatever happens to be your decision if it is the monastery then no longer you should no longer be thinking about the family fused as a family no longer think about the monastery you will make a decision what is going on otherwise he will be broken so I was afraid of the Vina how am I supposed to decide in nine days with his four there for me but God has his plan and he was freed me from that he only waited for the moment for me to completely surrender it to him because I held everything in my hands and I would not give him any room closed room and so I said I will go to my mother in for the apprecia anniversary on my foot my mummy for magic oriental sends me the bus she knows what is there for me and she is going to help me simply that was my decision so I'm going to go now with that intention to me to Korea and of course I also set all the dice the priest and he share the story with me a short story he said when the fisherman catches fish when he catches the fish the fish more it is moving she's in a pain a bigger pain the same is with God when God is fishing for people these people that are cold more they struggle and resist this cool thing they will be in a bigger pain it's very free them to let go and then they would see how God leads them that I understood that's how I'm acting like this fish and I decided it was in magic or yeah okay I will make a decision I'm going to surrender myself to you God you will lead me whatever you decide I'm going to accept that if you give me the sign that there should be in the religious order I will do that if you say that cooling families for me I will do that you lead me I cannot do anything on my own I cannot live like this anymore and I know that you're going to lead me so really surrendered everything to God and only then God was able to work in my soul because after that I was holding everything tied in my hands but then I allowed God to work soon afterwards it was the youth festival of 2013 and on this day exactly 2013 during the Holy Mass I felt something amazing that was something that changed me everything I said everything I said my yes to God that yes remained up to today you certainly I will remember that all of my life at that time during the Holy Mass while the priest was preaching about Mary something touched my heart so profound and I began to cry and I cry all the time but in my interior I felt I saw myself as if I was on God's palm and I was able to hear his voice that said in my heart I'm calling you for this many years why don't you answer why do you run away from me and I knew that's it this isn't so in one moment told these three years of my resistance to God past and then I said why do I run away I felt so much love in my heart that I wasn't able to say no and that is when he has happened Here I am a lord I trust myself to you you lead me somehow as if this gravestone was relieved from my heart when I finally decided this estate I'm going to go to the mother's three and I thought when I decide all of the problems are going to disappear but only then it was new problems that started so I said that to my mom that I want to go to the monastery that I felt a Cooling's she could see that I was different even before and literally we had a little fight and she told me I raised you just now I turn I'm full age now and I'm supposed to help her to raise my brother and sister and then my mom told me you want to go now and you want to leave me alone then I'm thinking my god I really my mom really needs me but then I said to God God if this calling kiss from you you will wait for me as long as it is necessary and maybe I need my mom needs me more now and so I thought this is going to last for a year but it was additional of three years and I felt a little bit upset if you could say that upset at God why would he give me this knowledge this knowledge of knowing him of knowing all of this love and then I have to wait why wouldn't I be able to go straight away like all others everyone that I knew they felt calling they would go straight away to the monastery and I need to say out of my friends from franciscan youth twelve of us in the last six years we went to the monastery that's not a little number 12 of us and gorath guts and each one of them to my journey to speak to me is the God spoke to be that I had a calling myself but that wasn't helping me until I decided in my heart and went Eliza French reading until God showed me this vid and so this period the waiting was very hard for me why do I need to wait hundreds of questions and I also did not know where I need to go when the schooling was cooling for religious life I wasn't told where I was supposed to go but in my head I had a vision that I will go where all of my friends went this was the regular order I wasn't thinking of anything up in the monastery closed ones theory and so during the youth festival in the following year there was a priest who told me don't think that this waiting is something terrible so because you would this period of three years as long as you need to know you can see whether this school link is for you you can try everything in your world in the earth in the world and then you will see whether that is right or not right and then you will be able to bring a final decision because that's if after all of these ears you have a still calling that means that the cooling is right if it goes away that least it wasn't for you it's better to wait a little bit he said and in that period you can really make yourself more perfect in patience and virtues of patience virtue of waiting so it's not okay this was a little bit this was easier for me all the way that I felt and it was easier and I was able to accept and I said I will wait but the cooling was still there so I started the Spiritual Exercises of st. Ignatius of Loyola so every day I was married I think of the Holy Scripture it was a great opportunity that I always remain in this spirit of prayer I would go to Holy Mass so adoration Blessed Sacrament and in those meditations somehow as if my whole heart felt desire for a profound prayer something that I don't have where I was I was happy I was content yes I was praying yes but as if something was missing in my heart as if God was sending me to something more and I didn't know what that was so those thoughts in the hunger for God I started to think about the cloister monastery I got so afraid of that it was so hard for me to go to the bonus stream especially to go to the cloistered monastery it was so open there's a person I love to travel I love to spend time with the youth how am I going to close myself in the cloister one is three and never go away this was something that I couldn't imagine it was horrible scary but God obviously had his plans that we are not able to understand in that moment and probably he was waiting for that period didn't want to show me straightaway the clothes through monastery because I wouldn't be able to accept it at the time leadership past so that would mature within me and I met this nun who was from the cloister monastery and I thought no one can helped me better than she can she has this experience of life and I told her how I felt and she told me I cannot say to you whether you have a cooling to be in the Closter monastery or no but you take two books one is of Sinclair of Assisi and the other is think there is the Varela these are two Saints who have established to create clothes straight religious orders Karam light and st. clair nuns so you can read these two books that you can see if the heart is drawing you that's it follow the boys so I was thinking my god God is going to speak to me through the book yeah right but I'm going to read that okay and when I read the book of st. Claire this was it I felt something so profound in my heart yes I want to live like that this is it this is what I'm looking for but afterwards would appear it was a fear a fear that I would be in the closed room on the street this seemed to be scary but then I didn't have this experience of the cloister monastry I never met these nuns and I had to look for it this advice because this fear was really really great so I I went for the spiritual retreat in silence and when mouths are silent heart speaks and that's when everything cleared in my interior everything that I was summoning up for years all of the times when I escaped from God everything was out of the surface everything was cleared out there was a priest who helped me and he said it would be best for you to go and to have the experience in the cloister monastry so you can do that for a few days that you never know that that exists he said yes yes you have that you can do that for a few days without any obligations just to see how these nuns live to live the life with them and to see whether that is that you will have to say anything to them that's not great I'm going to do that I will go where it's closest and I came to this monastery where I'm now impressed obstacle this was closest and I went with a thought I'm going to go there and I'm not going to like it I'm going to go there and see this is not for me I'm going to go and I'll go back to my plans that I have but God surprised me when I came here one day of life here and the prayer year seven hours a day we pray this peace this joy that I felt this was enough for me to realize God needs me and wants me here I wasn't even thinking of going to other close to monastery of having any other experience already in the first day I knew this was a but I did not want to acknowledge to myself my heart knew but it took time for the reason to understand that I did not say anything to advance here but I said in my heart if this is really good coming from you you will give me strength to accept this decision because this seems to me credible that you're sending me there even though this my heart likes it but my mind cannot accept that you will give me the side that is going to help me that is how I spoke with Jesus and I trusted that he would give me this side that he's going to help me because all of this is mine he's not mine I had my plans and my plans were completely different than God's plan now when I every gave everything to him he was going to lead it and that's exactly what happened in three months time I came to Mitch acorrea I came to my mummy and I climbed the oppression Hill and I said took my mommy you were the only one who can help me you're the only one the quintessence me you can see the state of my soul you can see how uncertain everything is I did not know where God is calling me is he calling me to be the close through ministry all of these were questions the questions that I was getting and then when the thought about the closer monastry came various temptations to drive the temptation that I will never be able to come home to them they will never be able to be with my friends I will never come go to places where it was so nice for me and finally I will never be able to go to mr. Korea this was so hard to accept in my heart and I thought you will not be able to do this you will not be able to do that nothing positive only negative things said to my mummy and I started to pray throws through that intention that she would clear out all of this that she would give me the sign that she would leave me on the way of Jesus then I had this huge grace that happened to me in one moment that started crying and the statue on operation healer lady statue as if he it wasn't there anymore and in my heart I was able to see our lady statue from this monastery here that we have here in a little cave and I hurried the boys that said in my heart kind voice that's it this is your magic or you this is where you will receive everything that you'll be longing for everything that you want and I knew this is it this is my lady she's giving me this grace and I knew this was that and all those temptations and all trials and all tested I had before just disappeared I knew that's it that's where Jesus needs me that's where Jesus is calling me and I immediately called nuns here they were so joyful I knew where I needed to go where I needed to be and it took a year until I entered the monastery because I needed to graduate this year was very hard for me there were so many temptations from all over even the fears what if this is not a right decision what is what if I'm imagined I think all of this what if God is really want something else for me and I'm going on the wrong way what if I entered the monastery and that I have to go out and let's see that this is not for me hundreds of questions were coming to me temptation just to destroy me until I said it that's it I don't care if this is what it takes for my humility to come in and to come out okay I will do that but I needed to leave to enter because I felt such a strength the God was calling me to be here may all these thoughts suddenly as if these those disappeared this we were was just mutation that just waited to drive me away from my journey but this wasn't successful thanks be to God and God was testing my decision whether this is true or not and I'm hundred percent sure this even though I wasn't able to be certain until I entered the monastery and finally I entered the monastery on 27th of December 2016 and Saint John the Apostle and only then when I came here I may put on my dress I knew this is it this is the dress lady made for me that's why I need to wait this long and so much joy and so much peace came into my soul because I knew this is it as if I was important here as if I was borrowed to live in the world for 22 years and again I was proud back to the place where I was born where I needed to be and I'm thinking from the vertibird of the confirm the gospel with men I found the pearl and when he sold everything he had and came to buy the plot with a pearl that's how I feel here in this monastery I found my pearl I found my Jesus there's nothing missing me I thought I will be missing things from the outer world that I would be closed here no only now here I feel complete freedom in these bars are not a problem at all because this is my freedom only here I'm free from all of the addictions in the world technology to everything that was brightening me in the outside world I'm so free that I can only be the one belonging to Jesus the surrendering in my life and I pray for the whole world for all of the needs of the church because I'm called to do that in the end I would just like to say two things to you first is something referring to all of you here and the other for those who feel the calling in their hearts I would like to say to all of you that you I would like to advise you what I ladies saying to us are ladies five stones five things that she suggests us to do so we will be able to prevail temptations of devil devil who is so strong because drinking and seeking home to eat these five stones our Holy Mass confession grocery fasting and monthly monthly confession all of this has helped me so much in all of these periods of my life when I needed to decide one of these stones really helped me and then I realized the Holy Scripture reading of the Holy Scripture because the reading of the Holy Scripture helped me to to come there to this close 3-3 the silence and being recollected and so I'd like to say to all that we stay close to these five stones of Our Lady because the we stay close we would be those belonging to Jesus and we would be able to prevail all temptations of devil and I wish you all that and all of you young people who in your heart feel the calling maybe you felt the calling maybe you would feel it now during this year's festival you surely are faith I want to say to you I went through all of that and I know how you must feel but what it takes what is important is the decision it is so hard to come to decision II so how long it took me to come to that but there's nothing more beautiful than to serve Jesus especially he invites us and he invites you which means that you were precious to God you're worthy that he loves you and when you feel that love in your heart how can you say no to God you cannot you're not able I'm so happy they said yes that I accepted my calling that's why I want to encourage you to that you may be bold and walk in this world and when you say yes to Jesus that you completely surrender to him because when you say here yes he will start working until you say here yes he cannot work he cannot work with your plans just like it was with me I had these five points that I needed to pass until I came here the first one was when I had cooling in my heart and I did not accept it the second was when I accepted that I had the calling the train was decision which was hardest the fourth was the fourth step was to choose the community where I'm going to be in the five fifth and final coming to this community this was my true me and each one of you God is calling in his own way the way that he knows each one of you is invited to call to find what is that God wants from you or does he need you so don't be afraid of anything because Jesus is with you are ladies with you they love you they ask that you may be completely theirs that you may be the salt of the earth and the light of the world that is exactly what I wish for you that you may find your journey and I will pray for you and I entrust myself in your prayers especially in these six days a mr. Cory I will pray that as much as the youth festival helped me that it may help you to this place of silence in the prayer and may neither such enough our mummy Queen of Peace follow you god bless you all [Applause] soggy body Priya teddy bear young fence we heard we saw the testimony of sister predator who is now in Bosnia in the mangastream breast of skull Jesus but in the cloister order she felt the calling the greatest honor it was so sister she simply described her journey Oh Marcia BTC who know and surely this can be encouragement that's yes this proposal but we may have the awareness of being cold we think sister Brigitta for her wonderful testimony now community to Nicola [Applause]

Channel: Medjugorje Mladifest

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Length: 38min 27sec (2307 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 21 2019