May 27, Mid-week Bible Study, "When The Love Is Lost!" Willie B. Williams III (Church of Christ)

we won't thank you so much for tuning into our bible class and we hopefully that you'll be blessed by the studying and the reading of God's Word we're coming to a conclusion of our series on relationships and hopefully we'll be able to dive in and receive some nutrition from the Lord let's start and begin with the word of Prayer holy and righteous father bless us in the reading and the studying of your word give us insight give us wisdom their Father that we may be able to do all things that are pleased and acceptable in your sight and your wonderful name we pray amen our study begins in Revelation chapter 2 and in Revelation chapter 2 here we have Jesus who is speaking to the church we understand that the church is the Bride of Christ so as we're talking about relationships and as we bring the series even to a close we're gonna end with Jesus who is the groom and he's talking to his bride and so this is going to be an intimate conversation between the the groom and the bride Jesus is giving us an update on the relationship that he has with his bride the church and so in Revelation chapter 2 he approaches the church and he lets them know at the beginning of the conversation hey listen this is where our relationship is strong so before we begin reading I already want you to get in your mind and get in your spirit Jesus is speaking on the nature of his relationship with his bride and he's letting his bride know hey this is where we are strong but then later on in the conversation he's gonna say hey listen this is where we're struggling and from there we'll be able to pour some nuggets out that hopefully will be a blessing to you Revelation chapter 2 and beginning at verse 1 unto the Angel of the Church of Ephesus write these things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks and this is what he tells his bride he says I know your works when the most important thing to do with the people that are in your life if the people are in your life if they are doing a good job it's good to let them know that they're doing a good job one of the most difficult things that you can do in a relationship is take for granted someone who's actually blessing you and adding a benefit sometimes you'll have people that do certain things and they do it so well that you stop saying thank you it's always good to say thank you even if you've even if it's your brother or your sister or your mama or you know you know that they love you and you love them but never take anybody for granted because here's something that you may not realize they may not be here tomorrow and for to take somebody for granted sometimes you don't even know if somebody's going through a difficult time or the struggling with depression your thank you your appreciation sometimes it can go a long way there can be a husband and he loves his wife B he may not be as appreciative as he needs to be every now and then you need to go around and say you know what I wanna I wanna thank you for doing the laundry sometimes it's good to say hey listen you paid that light bill man I you know you went to work you've worked hard I want to thank you for paying the bills I want to thank you for paying the water I'm gonna thank you for cutting the grass you you know that light was out and and we both saw it out I wasn't gonna say anything I was gonna I was gonna eventually ask you but after a while I looked up and realized that you had changed that lightbulb and and nobody even had to say anything to you and I just want to let you know we appreciate the family appreciates you for the things that you do because with you were able to move along it's been a blessing to have you in my life it's been a blessing to have you to do the things that you do just on a regular basis if you notice sometimes if you give appreciation to some people sometimes they are downplaying that's all right ain't nothing but your acknowledgment of it sometimes can go a long way one of the things that Jesus does in the text he says hey listen I know your works I have not been blind to to the work that you've done he says this he says in verse 2 I know thy works I know your labor I know your patience and how you cannot bear them which are evil he says I see how you have conducted yourself with evil people that came around and I see I saw how you stood up against them and how you didn't receive the evil spirits of those who came around and and our house has tried them we say that there are apostles are not and have found them to be lies he says another benefit that I want to tell you your patient I also want to let you know that there were some other people who tried to come into your midst and try to convince you of certain things that were not true and how that you tested them and you found them not to tell the truth you found them to be liars one of the things that Jesus does is he says hey listen you have a lot of great qualities that he did he approaches to the church his bride he says you have a lot of great qualities sometimes you got to be very careful of people and they're in relationships with people and the only thing that comes out of their mouth is negativity and sometimes you have to back up and say now wait a minute you're telling me that you got a list a relationship with this person and that person doesn't do anything good sometimes you got to be careful of the picture that people paint about another person and you something you're drinking the kool-aid about that other person and then you have to sometimes you have to back up and said oh but why are you with that person man if they don't do nothing right they talk about you they do this they do that they do that are you just so miserable then then what's the benefit you're receiving by even being there sometimes people will ignore all of the good in a person and they'll only focus on the negative that's not Jesus Jesus says listen you are you do many wonderful things you stand up for what's right you ask you evil but then there's a transition in the text didn't then Jesus he shifts and he says listen I'm acknowledging the good but there's some areas in our relationship that we're gonna have to work on what if you took the same approach that Jesus took and you went to all of your relationships and said hey listen I love the things that you do but in order for us to go to the next level that's some things that we're gonna need to work on one of the things that Jesus was not afraid of Jesus was not afraid to tell the truth Jesus was not afraid to hide hey these are the areas that we're struggling and we don't work on these areas we won't make it that's the conversation that Jesus is having in a text and maybe that's the conversation that many of you may need to have in your own relationships hey listen if we don't work on these areas we won't make it and the Bible says at the end of verse 3 he says and has born and has patience for my name's sake you've labored and you have not fainted you work really really hard you have put the time in you have put the work in but I do have some issues verse 4 nevertheless I have somewhat against thee because thou has left thy first love somebody said wait a minute Jesus they have all of these wonderful qualities why do you want to bring up the one thing that's not well why don't you just leave well enough alone and and sometimes why don't you just sit sit and suffer that and just enjoy the good things do you know how many people in relationships they ignore the bad and they highlight the good but you know what happens after a while that thing that you ignore after a while it gets bigger and it gets bigger and it gets bigger and then you beat yourself up and say you know what I shouldn't even be complaining because they do this good and they do that good and you know what I really he come home and he pay he works hard he does the bills that she you know she's faithful she just did but there's an area in your relationship that you're ignoring and Jesus says listen you labor you stand for right your patient I know I know your work but this area how many how many of you you have a this area you you have a this area hey you're a wonderful and you you're a wonderful woman you mama I love you dad daddy you're you're strong and all of you have all of these great qualities but there is something that's killing our relationship there is something that's poisoning our relationship and I have been going for years ignoring it I've been going a long time highlighting your good attributes but if we don't talk about this thing there is a this thing in a relationship and sometimes you can feel guilty about this thing and the reason why you feel good about about this thing because sometimes it's not really big sometimes when you talk to other people in relationships or you talk to other people and and somebody says well you know my husband's abusive and then you compare your story to their story and say well I'm not going through what she's going through so I really don't have her I really shouldn't say anything because you know at least my father was there I really do need to talk to my father but my father was there unlike them they don't even know their father so maybe I should just maybe I should just keep quiet and you know what we end up doing sometimes we end up comparing our struggle and our sadness and our depression to someone else is sadness or depression our situation and then we end up judging and saying well I'm gonna be quiet because mine's really not that bad but you know what really happens over time it grows how many of you have another tha less you have a you have a nevertheless in your relationship you have a this thing and if we don't address this thing you know what ends up happening whatever you ignore in a relationship it starts to affect the other aspects of your relationship so if you would have addressed this thing that then maybe it would have been over but but because you started to ignore this thing then over here you started to have raised it meant to your spouse or your children or your parents or your friends you have a friend that you real close but your friend is always doing a little shady things behind your back and you ignore it because your friend has such great qualities but you got like this thing they're starting to eat at you and all of a sudden you start looking at your friend with resentment and all of a sudden hate is starting to build up in your life sometimes you have a visting or you have a spouse who works too much and you're not getting the attention that you need and then after a while this thing starts to affect you in other areas of intimacy and all of a sudden you don't want to be talked to or you are you know you don't want to spend any time with because if you're not gonna take time for me I don't want to spend any time it starts to affect you in other areas of your life how many of you are dealing with a nevertheless this thing so jesus said listen you're great you have great qualities this is work but but nevertheless I have something against you this is Jesus talking he says I have something against you he says and this is what it is he said let me tell you what it is I'm not saying you're not here I'm not saying you don't work hard I'm not saying you're not patient what I'm saying is the love in our relationship it's not there don't get me wrong I'm not saying you're not here I'm thankful that you're here and it's not that you're just here but you're here and you're working and you're laboring and you hate evil and you're patient and you do many wonderful works I'm not talking about the good that you do I'm saying there is a this thing in our relationship that if you we don't address this it's gonna kill the relationship Jesus what is the problem the problem is this he says you have left your first love there's been movement in the relationship that's not healthy I don't know if you've ever heard this phrase before well you heard people say we've grown apart we've grown apart so I wanna I want to give some misconceptions that some people have about relationships just as you can grow to love somebody you can also do things to kill that love and be out of love I've heard some people say well if you if two people are married if two people are married how is it how is it that you fall out of love when you first meet a person you're not romantically in love with them it takes some time so you shake your hey my name is and you suck and after Wow the more time you spend with one another then the love can grow marriage doesn't keep love in love is always a choice in a room with an open door love can never be arrested and locked into any relationship an order for love to be loved love has to be free so I don't care if it's your mother your father I don't care if you're in a marriage and you stand before the whole family and you say I do if love is in the relationship it is because it comes involuntarily Unchained and unrestricted if you don't feed love and if you if you don't support love and if you don't water love if you don't nurture love just as easily as love walked in love can walk out and love can walk out of a marriage and it and the marriage will lock the two people in together but it becomes difficult to reside in a relationship because love is not there so you sometimes you'll have couples sometimes you'll have family reunions and they'll have family meetings and everybody get together and they say hey listen we are all family but there's no love in the room and the reason why there's no love in the room is because love has to be fed and love has to be nature or nurtured sometimes you'll have some people that will say hey listen I do this I do that I do that yeah those are physical activities that's not necessarily love so I can get up in the morning I can go to work I can come home I can cook clean I can pay the bills they don't mean I love you yeah just because you have somebody who does things for you that's not necessary look some people do things out of obligation some you know there are some people they are there are in relationships and and because of their integrity and because of who they are they are going to fulfill their responsibilities don't necessarily mistake that for love so notice what Jesus did in the first part of the text he says you're doing a lot of wonderful things but the thing that he has a problem with them the reason why he has a problem with his bride is this it's not because of the wonderful works that you're doing he says I have a problem with love in the relation you've left your first love there were some things that you did at the beginning of the relationship that you stopped doing you know what Jesus is requesting I love Jesus was because he he's a good communicator Jesus is not going to be in a relationship and either should we you should not be in a relationship where you don't communicate what you need and what you want and so Jesus says hey listen this is what I need from you this is what's lacking in this in this relationship and so the Bible says here he tells them in verse 4 nevertheless I have somewhat against thee because you have left your first love remember therefore from whence you are fallen so so one of the things that Jesus does is he says listen you you stop doing the things that you used to do at the beginning that ushered in the love and then he starts to give advice and said listen if you don't go back and remember one of the things that you find in every relationship is you have milestones that you remember so one of the things that the family does when they come around is they remember each other's birthdays and they say hey listen on this date many years ago you were born into this family and so we want to celebrate you we want to congratulate you for reaching this milestone why is it good to remember in any relationship do you know why you need to take pictures and relationships do you know why you need to create memories with one another because every now and then the family needs to sit down the couple needs to sit down and go back and look at the marriage photos and say are you you remember when we loved each other 50 pounds ago do you remember when we used to have hair and giggle and do you and you remember we used to have teeth and we used to eat everything the reason why you want to go back and you want to go remember is so that you don't lose what you initially had anybody who stops going back and remembering and going through you tend to forget you know what Jesus is saying he says some of you are forgetting do you know do you know why we come to worship we come to worship so for many reasons but for one reason is so that we can stir up and remember all of the things that God has done for us so that we can remember all all of the ways that God has brought us to ruin and you had no business making it but God loved you so much that when the door was closed me kick that door open for you and you were able to walk through and when you didn't have any money God provided for you and your family and it he he brought you through ways that you thought were over you thought you were finished and God shook the earth and and he opened up the windows of heaven and he poured down blessings upon you and so you come back another week and the saints come together in the church and we were able to shout and say oh thank you Jesus matter of fact those who have good memories are great worshipers because if you have a good memory you can remember the wonderful works of God in your life and you said thank you Jesus for all that you've done and it renews the relationship and God loves praise and God loves glory cuz God sent us I'm constantly and I'm active in your life and I'm constantly working in your life and so every now and then at the beginning of every week I need you to stop what you're doing and let's have a flashback and you got a flashback you you shall be a great worshipper what Jesus is telling his bride is hey I think you need to stop and you need to go back and remember you need to go back and remember some of you some of you your relationships are struggling because you just go go go go go go go go go you just go go go go go go you go go go go go in the work schedule you're running running running running go go go and somebody says hey when was the last time y'all had a family vacation what was the last time y'all just stopped and just laughed and just remember the good times you're so busy go and go and go and go and go on that you you don't remember Jesus says listen we don't need to stop and we all need to remember remember therefore from whence thou art fallen and then he says and repent and then he says listen go back and do the first works one of the things that they do sometimes in counseling when a couple's it's a head listen when was the last time y'all been on a date and they start thinking about I said now on dating a long time well almost less tell me I got away we had them kids we had all all them kids them came and so we haven't done anything in in a minute they said okay when was the last time the child was able to do this and then they started reflecting back and said you know what we've been going for so long we we haven't had an opportunity to do the things we used to do that caused us to be in love sometimes when the family changes you're not able to go back and do those things that you used to do and what Jesus is saying hey listen Rick he says look at this go back and remember when the relationship started to fall isn't that some good advice Jesus says this go and remember when there was a slip and go back and remember that that the in your good when you started to feel like something something is changing and you start to get this feeling and you you tried to suppress it but it kept coming back up again Jesus says hey pinpoint that moment when you started to fall in the relationship go back to that place and start doing the first works and repent you know what repent means repent means change your mind and go in a different direction repentance does not always mean that there was a sin sometimes God will repent it means God says I'm basically I'm changing my mind I thought about going this way but repentance means to turn around and go in a different direction do you know what some family some relationships some couples need to do some couples actually need to really sit down right now and remember where they have fallen and change their mind about the relationship here's what repentance looks like in a relationship hey listen if we continue on this same schedule and we keep doing this same thing and we keep operating in this same way we won't make it so what we have to agree on is the role that we're on is a road of destruction now I'm not saying that we have the answer but we need to refuse to go down this path any longer let's do something different I don't you know what something different can be I listen we need to we need to move we need to change jobs sometimes ahead listen we need we need to get away from these friends we need to we may need to go to a different congregation we may need to be able to move to another part of the city or just do something hey listen we need to baby hey maybe our schedule is killing us and and we need to repent we need to change directions and do something different so what if we told all of our kids this year none of y'all are gonna play sports we're gonna travel as a family somebody said why are we doing this because the road that we're on is a road of destruction and if we don't change right now and do something different we're gonna suffer in the future what if we took the advice of Jesus and what if what if you called a family meeting right now and saying something's wrong how many how many of you noticed that hey wait a minute something is wrong and I feel it I know you had dinner right now and maybe you're you're watching Netflix or Hulu and everybody's just kind of lounging around but as you're sitting on the couch right now are you sitting at your desk right now and and you you're pondering and you're saying you know what something in my spirit says something's wrong don't you know what you don't ignore that feeling don't ignore that feeling that something is wrong and sometimes the thing that could be wrong it could even be something that you're doing you may you may be able to tell yourself you know what I know I've been busy I've been lazy matter of fact the best place to look in the mirror first is to look at yourself there are so many people that if they were really in the mirror I say you know where I know I could do better and you guys start asking yourself the question am i neglecting my family and my neglecting my spouse I mean I've been busy trying to do this or never I know I can do better I know I can do better I'm just not doing better Jesus says look where you fallen and we need to make some changes let's continue in the text here we are in verse five and Jesus says remember therefore from whence you are fallen then he says so the first thing he says is I need you to remember the point in the relationship when things started to slip I need you to go back to that year I need you to go back to that time I need you to go back to find out you say you know what I remember is when I got that new job I remember when we moved here and I remember when the kids started to do this and this started to happen you know what it was it was when I was starting to hang out with this friend or when I was started I started to hang out with my girls that our relationship started to shift it's when your mama moved in with us maybe that was the moment I hey you know your cousin started to come over or often and our relationship started to shift Jesus says take the time and remember the moment when you were here and then you slipped and you fall and you fail and then the second thing he says he says now after you remember where you have fallen the second thing that he says is you need to repent you need to change your mind and go back for some reason for some reason you fail and the relationship was supposed to fly at a higher altitude but maybe he wasn't paying attention to the relationship and somewhere along the line the relationship started to go down and you continue to operate not realizing that the relationship has dropped he says go back remember where you have fallen and then he says repent repent means to turn around and go back some relationships need to go back you matter you could you could be accomplishing so many wonderful things but then the relationship is suffering because of it there are some families they get into business together there are some couples there get into business with each other and sometimes the business is doing great the relationship is dying sometimes the ventures that the family is are that the relationship is pursuing is succeeding sometimes that happens with ministers sometimes and and it happens with preachers sometimes what the ministry is doing really good but the family is struggling he says sometimes what you need to do is you need to stop and you need to repent and you need to be able to go back sometimes I don't want to go back I've come I've already come this far hey listen then in the end you're gonna end up having to make a choice because some relationships cannot survive if you continue on your same schedule if you want to save the relationship you're gonna have to stop what you're doing and turn around so Jesus says you're gonna repent the third thing that he says to do is do the first works go back and do the things that you used to do one of the movies that I like to watch is Rocky I don't do our own do Rocky eleven and twelve but rocky one and two I stopped after two maybe three I forgot what mr. t was mr. t what I think is in number three or something like that I like watching mr. t but I forgot what number about I like the early part of Rocky when Rocky was fighting mr. t loved mr. t I had the figurine mr. T was the man when Rocky was fighting mr. T he had reached a level of success he had reached a level of success and so he was supposed to he wasn't he was supposed to fight mr. t but mr. t he wasn't a rich man he wasn't a rich man in the movie he wasn't a rich man in the movie and so what mr. t mr. t was working down in the cellar mr. t he was he had his homegrown gym that he was doing and and he did a lot of grunt work and so he didn't have any cameras around he wasn't popular but rocky at this particular point rocky is popular Rocky is walking around with with boots and in fur and coming out of limousines and eating the finest food and he kind of lost his edge and then mr. t whupped him Oh mr. t mr. t loved him misses he got in his grill and so the second half of the movie Rocky realized that in order for me to be successful i'ma have to go back to how I trained at the beginning sometimes simplistic going back to simplicity just sitting down and having a one-on-one meal with your family or your loved one are taking a walk or just writing a letter taking the time to just sit and listen you took it for granted you stopped doing it but what if you just went and just held hands in silence what if you just was able to just talk for hours instead of being entertained by music and television he says you forgot the first things so he said so so number one remember where you've fallen he says he says then the second thing you need to do is after you remember where you've fallen don't continue on the same path stop turn around and go back and then he says now when you get back go back and do the things that you used to do in the beginning matter of fact maybe that's what relationships are relationships are a cycle you go a little while you stop you do inventory baby how're we doing children hey family how are we doing we're not doing too well well well where do we fall off find out where you fella go back and do those do those things that you did in the beginning don't don't forget your training don't forget what started everything and then it says this and then it says go back and do the first works now at the end of verse five is the consequences now you don't have to do that sure I know she loved me oh he ain't going nowhere he he know I love him we just hey you don't have to do it Jesus said hey listen I'm telling you the relationship is not good you don't have to do it but let me tell you the consequences of not doing it let me tell you the consequences of not taking inventory of your relationships let me tell you what it is he says our elves I will come unto thee quickly and remove thy candlestick out of his place except you repent he says this if if you're not willing to do the work then the light that's in our relationship will go out and our relationship will be dead this is Jesus talking Jesus said hey listen if you're not willing to go back and follow these steps so that we can restore the relationship I want to let you know I'm coming and there will be no more light in our relationship our relationship will die well have you ever gave a warning to somebody and said hey listen I really need you to hear me because our relationship is dying so I need to spend more time I need I need you to invest more in the kids I need you to be able to do this I need you to be able to do that we need to go to counseling sometimes you have some relationships as hey listen we really need to go to counseling and got time for counseling I do listen and sometimes it's not it's not always the mean sometimes it's the women I don't know we'll need a ton and so ok I need to let you know if we don't go back and if we don't repent if we don't change the direction that we're currently going in this relationship if we don't disrupt this so you know what sometimes you have to do sometimes you have to disrupt the house and sometimes you have to blow up the schedule so that you don't end up going off the cliff sometimes you have to disrupt and blow up everything so that you can say hey listen I don't know if this is sir but I know this if I see that I'm running into a wall I'm not just gonna run into the wall and die he says if this doesn't happen then the lights gonna go out in the relationship do you know how many people are in relationships of all kinds and day in and day out their relationship died a long time ago the relationship dialer I don't care if that's your father care if that's your mother love has to be fed and nurtured love has to be fed and nurtured and if you starve it you can you can you can keep the title that you have in the relationship but there's no love there let me tell you something about love let me say something about love love does not stay anywhere where it's not failed love is like a love is like a child a child will go anywhere where the milk is and if you stop giving the milk it's going look and search for who who the milk so I know so much well that's my baby yeah that may be your baby but if you stop giving that baby milk and I have the milk that baby will leave you and come over to me because I cannot survive if I don't feed love will leave your family love will leave your relationship because you're not feeding it and it's not being nurtured and Jesus says the light will go out and then he says this he says I'll remove the candlestick out of his place and except I repaired in verse six he says but this thou hast that thou has hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans which also I hate and any sense this in verse 7 he that have an ear let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches to him that overcomes will I give to eat of the tree of life which is in the midst of the of the paradise of God he says this I'm not making you listen to me nobody has to listen to me I'm letting you know and I've come down now to give inventory on the relationship we are not good we're not good but if you want to save the relationship we're gonna need to stop our current schedule go back and rebuild again so that we can be able to move forward if you don't want to hear my cries if you don't want to hear my petitions I'm trying to tell you we need to work this out I'm hoping that you're able to put this effort in but if you're not willing to do that I need you to understand the lights about to go out and when the light goes out do you know that they can happen in the church that if a church does not get back to its first love do you know what a church is first love is is when it gets away from the gospel when it gets away from spreading the truth that when we start taking our eyes off of saving love Souls and we start focusing on each other we can still gather and be here and do some other good works but Jesus that come down say y'all off you have lost your first love we're supposed to be taking care of the widows we're supposed to be taking care of the homeless we're supposed to be feeding we're supposed to be giving cups of water to those who are thirsty we're supposed to be going to the prisons he lets us know what a pure religion is and so if you neglect your first love Jesus will come and take the light out of the church because y'all got busy in programs and doing some other things and building stuff and doing other activities and you forgot what started this relationship do you know what started our relationship with Jesus Christ the death the burial and the resurrection of Jesus Christ and you should have a love every time that you hear that excitement should be in your in the morrow of your bones every time that you hear the gospel and you say it was the gospel that started my relationship with Jesus Christ and it is because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross I have the gift of eternal life and you should get excited about that many times you go to a congregation and you'll have the preacher get up and he'll start saying that Jesus died or he loved buried and they rose again and you'll have 90% of the congregation say yeah we already know that we heard that before you've lost your first love the idea of saving souls you've lost the joy of it oh that's nice that's good matter of fact you have people they don't even stay for the baptism I got somewhere else to go you've lost your first love when you can get the probe said no man we're while we got a worship so long why can't why can't we convince worship hey listen I think you lost your love because when you're in love when you're in love with God I want to be with God all day long matter of fact many of you would not be in a romantic relationship with somebody who only called you an hour on Sunday but that's the amount of time that we give God we've kind of lost our place you've lost that some people right now they're really in a quit Church there's something right now they love the idea of being in their home and not having to connect with anybody and just to be able to get a message and move on you sometimes you could be careful your order to turn the preaching of God just into motivational speaking I'm not a motivational speaker I'm a gospel preacher my job is to tell you what Jesus and you have to be in love with Jesus and His Word to the point where you want to be able to spend time with him and his bride he says you don't go back to where you are falling there's some of you your relationship with Jesus Christ is starting to turn cold and you're hating the church and you got Church hurt and you and I can't stand these Christians and I don't know you got you you fall in maybe what do you need to do is stop and find out what happened that maybe you put a person on a pedestal and you forgot to put God on that level or maybe you allowed a few people to talk about you or maybe you had some friends in the church that stabbed you in the back and you left you left the whole church because of two friends or maybe maybe the preacher did you wrong or maybe the deacon or the elder I said something and hurt your feelings and your whole family said now forget the church you let one family run you out of the kingdom of God somebody said I can still have a relationship or with Jesus I don't fool with his church let me tell you something about a marriage you cannot deal with her with a husband and ignore his wife if you if if he's in love with his wife you can't deal with the husband and disrespect the wife you can't tell a husband hey I only deal with you but I don't talk to your wife they are one Jesus in the church are one so to disrespect the church is to disrespect Christ be careful how you put your mouth on the church and then you claim that you love Jesus Christ Jesus says listen I don't fool with you because if you don't if you don't deal with me and my bride you can't have none of us some of us are bitter some of us are angry you got to go back to where the relationship started to fall apart and then you got a what caused you to first fall in love with Jesus Church of Christ maybe we need to stop one of the blessings about the coronavirus when the blessings it caused a lot of people to stop maybe that's what Jesus wanted us to do stop stop all of your conferences and activities election ships and conferences and y'all doing this and doing that matter of fact you were doing all of these wonderful things but you lost your love maybe we need to stop fire find out where we have fallen and come back together and come back to do the first works maybe we stopped praying together we stopped singing together we stopped worshiping together he says maybe we need to go back he says now if you if you're able to go back this is what he says he says if you're able to go back then some blessings will come it'll be the Tree of Life again we can be able to get the love back that's some people in relationships that say you know we fallen out of love we're not in love with each other but you can get it back because just as love came in love can leave but if love if love left it can't come back because love operates with open doors you can't lock love in you can't make love stay you can't make somebody love you which is why you have to feed it and so sometimes when you're in a family are you in a relationship with the love is it has died if you really want to revive it you can feed it again but it's gone it may take a lot of work I want to identify three things that are necessary now there are more things than this I just want to highlight three that causes the relationship to be healthier the first one is habits the first one is habits very quickly turn your Bibles to galatians chapter 6 in verse 9 galatians chapter 6 and verse 9 habits are necessary for relationship to be healthy and let us not be weary in well-doing for in due season in due season we shall reap if we faint not with the scriptures letting us know is there some of you you're on this schedule and you're on this routine and you're doing the best that you can but some of you are tired of doing the right thing and you're thinking about quitting the Bible says don't be weary in well doing the the habits that you have in a relationship determine your status the habits that you have in a relationship they determine your status so what does a habit the man gets up in the morning he kisses his wife he goes to work he works hard on the job he gets off of work he calls his wife he says I'm on my way home do you need anything she says no I got everything he says okay good I'm on my way on his way home he goes and picks up maybe a flower for her or maybe a little gift something she didn't ask for some candy he comes home he just kind of lays it on the counter said baby that's for you gives our kiss may spend some time with the kids they may have dinner and then he goes to bed he gets up the next morning he kisses his wife he goes to work he works hard he gets off of work he calls his wife he said baby I'm on my way home do you need anything she said oh yeah I need some milk he goes by and get some milk he also gives her a little maybe a little gift for a little snack he comes home he kisses his wife he has dinner he spent some time with the kids and then he goes home and his habit determines the status of his room if he was to ask his wife hey what kind of husband that you have all he is depen his habits his habits allow her to trust him he is consistent he does the same thing I know what he's going to do he has good work at this he's a some people have bad habits some people have real bad habits a man gets up he doesn't kiss his wife he goes to work he works all day when he gets off work he doesn't call his wife he goes to the bar he drinks for a few hours hangs out with some friends and then he comes home by time he comes home the kids are already sleep his food is cold he doesn't eat the food cuz he ate at the bar and then he goes to bed and he gets up the morning and do the same thing over again his habits are affecting his relationship could it be that what you're consistently doing in the relationship is causing your relationship to be at this particular status and sometimes if you want your relationship to go from here to here you're going to need to change your habits you're going you're going to need to change what you consistently do and then the scripture says in Galatians chapter 6 and don't be weary when you're doing a good thing sometimes you can even consider increasing those things but one of the most difficult things and the reason why some people want to stop doing it it's because they get tired they get weary or they start looking out the window and so I don't even have to do all of this there are some relationships that you could be a part of or that you can be in and you can see you could actually step back and say you know what I'm doing a whole lot in this relationship but I don't even have to do that and if I stop doing it they're not gonna leave me you don't have to do all that for your children and you don't have to go above and beyond for your wife and and you don't have to bend over backwards for your husband you can say you know what I'm doing all of this stuff you know what I don't even have to do this and guess what they'll probably still love you and they'll still be there but eventually over time the relationship was shift it will change it'll start to go down that's that spirit we start taking somebody for granted because you realize I don't even have to do all of this and after a while you start you have somebody start to look and say you know what you don't do the things that you used to do and I just thought she was going through a little phase but you got lazy in the relationship oh one of the worst things you can do is just get lazy in a relationship you stop taking care of yourself you start taking care of your body you stop taking care of your appearance your hygiene goes down you stop doing the little special things and you just start taking the relationship forget you get lazy and you get lazy in the relationship people start feeling like man I'm I know I should be treated better than this but the person that I'm connected to it's just lazy they just they don't they stop trying which brings us to our second point and Hebrews chapter 13 and verse 8 the Bible says this in Hebrews chapter 13 and verse 8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday today and forever there is a consistency with Jesus Christ there's a consistency that you can have with Jesus Christ where because of his habits and how consistent he is I can depend on him there are some people they struggle with a relationship with you they don't want to be your friend your brothers and sisters don't like being around you they don't they stop calling you or connecting with you why because you're inconsistent they don't know that if you're gonna really do it or you're not going to do it your habits are constantly changing and so are based upon your habits they know that they can't trust you the Bible says that Jesus is the same today yesterday and forever and so because of that I can lean on him because of that matter of fact when somebody realizes that your your habits are honorable there are some people they structure their lives based upon your integrity and your habits and your dependability and so you actually by being consistent and faithful with your habits you actually can allow the other people in your life to become better because they can even feed off of your consistency don't be weary don't be weary in well-doing the second thing that is healthy in a relationship and that's needful for a healthy relationship is honesty now honesty does not determine longevity you don't have to be honest in a relationship to have a long relationship there are many people that are relationships right now they've been together a long time and they both lie to each other the relationship is built or alive so honesty does not determine how long your relationship goes but honesty does determine the depth of your relationship so there are some relationships they are really surface and they have no roots because they're dishonest with one another they lie to one another Jesus was not afraid to be honest so you ask hey are you happy no I'm not I'm not really happy okay well then let's talk about it sometimes you gotta have a hard conversations I promise you it's much more beneficial to be honest then to lie and you have to take care of yourself because the other person is oblivious that your needs are not being met or that you are being wounded and hurt by their actions but you're lying saying that you're okay when you're really not okay some good questions to access and hey listen if we're gonna go really deep in our relationship we got to be honest are you happy with me hey do you think I'm do you think I'm a good brother in Christ sometimes that's good to do that in a church hey what kind of Christian do you think that I am do you think I'm a good sister in Christ sometimes sometimes women it's good to go to talk to some older sisters some mature sisters and accents hey do you think that the way that I'm carrying myself is honorable we don't want to ask those questions because we really don't want to know the answer now you also have to be careful who you go and talk to because some people are just mean and that's an opportunity for them to just get in your grill but but to talk to some people who are mature and will tell you the truth if you can find those people and you can be able to ask them and say hey do you think I'm an honest person do you think that I'm kind now are you not kinda you mean I mean I love you but you you mean you're nasty you need to clean up your life yeah just in your nasty nobody you be surprised of how many people have Liars in their life that's why sometimes we for all the people who tell us the truth it's like a breath of fresh air and they say finally they say hey Liz I need to let you know something your breath stink you're like hey Lissa you you colorblind you don't match you came out the house looking like this you just don't match something's wrong honesty does not determine the longevity of a relationship but it can determine the depth and the reason why you don't have a secure deep relationship and a deep bond it's because both individuals are the people in the relationship are not willing to be honest with one another which brings us to our third our third point which is necessary for healthy relationships and this is the part that I want to talk about that that I feel is a lot of people are overlooked and under and don't understand the value of it and that's effort effort there are a lot of people who they got divorced and if you had the opportunity to go and ask them they would tell you it wasn't the offense and it wasn't the issue or it wasn't an incident that occurred the one of the reasons why we went ahead with the divorce is I was hoping that the other person would fight for me and they just stopped fighting there was no there was no effort the effort was not there and so one of the struggles that that kills one of the areas that kills a relationship it's just the lack of effort you're not willing it goes back to laziness you're not willing to put the time and the work in relationships are work and you know what you have to do with the relationship you gotta sit and talk for hours and you got to pray and you got to read and you got to study and you got to come back and got to talk again and then you got you got to be able to find out what this is and some of us I don't want to have to do all that I just want to have fun then that means you want our relationship that's based on lies that have no depth but in order to be able to really have a healthy meaningful relationship that you gotta be able to put the effort in and most people are not willing to put the effort in and they said you know what I told you I didn't want to see you again but if you would have just fought for me I told you I was angry and I hated you and I said that it was done and we probably could have salvaged the relationship if you would have just fought a little harder sometimes when people are hurt in relationships they want to back up put us the effort it's - it's the effort that you would go so I want to close with this we we sinned against God we we sinned against God and so we damaged the relationship and when we damaged the relationship that became a rift between us and God and if you would have looked at it from that angle or that time you know what you probably said you would have said the relationship is over our relationship is done it's over you know but the Bible says in John 3:16 for God so loved the world God loved us so much that our relationship with him was severed but God wanted us to come back together again and so I look at the effort of God and I see what he did to get us back and so one of the things they did he turned to his son and he said listen he says son I'm in love I'm in love and and I love them and they hurt me and I loved him and so I want us to get back together again but they caused a lot of damage because the wages of seeing is death and so it's a it's gonna cost a lot it's gonna cost a lot for us to get back together and I didn't hurt them they hurt me but I want to show them the extent that I'm willing to go to get them back and so this is what I want you to do you're my only son so I love them and I love you too but I love them so I'm gonna need you to change your nature and I'm gonna need you to go down unto them and I need you to put on what they have and I need you to take their sins and put it on you and I need you to die and pay the cause that's keeping us from being together after you pay the Coast and after you suffer and after you cry and after you sweat great drops of blood like sweat that's coming out of your pores and after are you grieving and out there you are betrayed then I want you to be able to come back to me but when you come back to me I don't want your hands to be empty when you come back to me I want you to bring them with you and I'm a and I I also wanna let you know it's not enough for you to just die for them and pay the cost and bring them to me he says but when you bring them to me I'm gonna open up my house and you're a carpenter so I want you to come back and do renovations in the house because I want all of them to live with me and I'm gonna do all of this without them asking me to because I want you to see the effort that I'm willing to go I want them to see the effort that I'm willing to go to bring them back for God so loved the world he gave His only begotten Son the only reason we have a relationship with Jesus Christ in God is because he loved us first he put the effort to get us back in order to have a healthy relationship you can't be lazy you have to be willing to put the effort forward always gonna cost you oh it's gonna so much I shouldn't have to do all of that okay then you won't get that relationship but a lot of relationships can be salvaged and saved if people will be willing to put the effort forward if you would just get up clean up a little bit if you if you would just put the effort forward you have the opportunity maybe even have a breakthrough God loved us so much he loved us so much and because we have a flashback know we say I'm in a relationship with God because of his mercy and because of His grace and we say thank you Jesus we thank you so much for tuning in and we pray that you've been blessed and edified by the message we want you to like subscribe and share this information with someone that you love the gospel is not only good to receive but it's also good to share we also look forward to partnering with you if you would like to invest in this ministry if this ministry has been a blessing to you we look forward to connecting with you and hearing from you there are several ways you to be able to give and to be able to sow a seed into this ministry North Colonie Church of Christ we are here to heal to help and to restore we look forward to see you [Music]

Channel: North Colony Church of Christ

Views: 3,919

Rating: 4.8080001 out of 5

Keywords: Church of Christ, Gospel, Acapella, North Colony Church of Christ, Willie Williams, Preaching

Id: M3n9nbSwIYQ

Length: 64min 13sec (3853 seconds)

Published: Wed May 27 2020