Martin Short is Hard to Contain | Carson Tonight Show

marty short is a very funny and talented actor he's starring in a movie called three fugitives which opened last friday he's doing great would you welcome martin short [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] tell me this is not the goose i know well it's a gift for you you're kidding me can't come empty-handed are you serious absolutely open this thing what's gonna happen well it's just you know [Applause] and look what's great is he can bounce [Applause] you are perverse thank you i had no i took a i took a crazy guess i didn't know what was going on it's uh nice to see you it's great it's uh you know john is free to be here as david steinberg would say it's so great to be here john oh it's exciting to see you and ed and of course my dear friend doc you know david steinberg was on the show a week ago and we started talking about you doing it he got hysterical he loved it he's a good friend of mine yeah anyway you want to talk about this picture no you know it's it's odd you know when you i was looking at this i said the thread i said who is this in the picture no i just i brought this i was just leaving you you're preparing to do what what to talk about and i realized that the last time i was here i was talking about my childhood yeah and me performing in the attic the martin short show and things like that sad things really that are best kept to a psychiatric couch i chose to talk about it here so i saw this and i just wanted to prove to the world that it hasn't just been about looks yeah this is you as uh this is me at 13 in the beach and these are your these are my parents your parents yeah and there was a weight problem that seemed you'd look a little a little flabby around the uh yes around the center there there's there's a definite uh go ahead and take a take a closer look no what what's what's bothersome is this part here people think is my behind and no that isn't that's nice yeah because then it would be like that's the shadow right no that would be like roseanne barr's brother no this is this is no i kid i love roseanne why would you do a roseanne bar joke when it's so easy to do yeah so yes sir have you been crazy person you've done now you did saturday night live yes you've done uh other things you've got motion pictures now what's your worst job you ever had i find that more fascinating than people's successes oh i've had it i've truthfully had us were you embarrassed you know really oh it's been a career you know it's it's a string i you know cause in canada for seven years i worked second city second city television but yes that was the good part but you know i did a show called right on in 1973 it was like a rock and roll show where i would sing the top 40s but i had no funk was that just in canada just in canada live on the cbc and it was at five o'clock and i had long hair but i couldn't sing rock and roll but i tried to but it was more like you know sinatra singing you know i shot the sheriff however i did not shoot the deputy ding dong ding dong [Laughter] it's like a marching band trying to play brightly frighteningly bad i mean so it was like kate smith sings the best of the stones you know there was no one so you know used to do that in their old show ed sullivan the early days would bring on opera stars because he wanted and they would try to sing the current hit of the day and it never came off um well he'd have helen trouble coming out singing whatever they hit song and my parents would sit there and say you know you see now that's the way it should be and i'd say you know you know one more drink then but uh then of course then you know you do see that i did industrial shows i would do the spirit of chrysler 75 you know and they spend thousands well i could save millions but i'd be exaggerating yeah thousands of dollars promote the new product yes each year they would a huge crisis show and performers if you were like usually you'd be doing stage you're getting 200 but the chrysler industrial show would pay you a thousand dollars a week so you'd come out you know there'd be a car coming out and dry ice and you'd be going i'd rather be a fury than a ford [Applause] and they thought that was great oh yes see you're laughing no oh the audience is laughing but the people on those industrial shows the higher-ups they think that stuff is great oh fantastic and the only catch is you'd have to go to the cocktail parties afterwards and then there'd be you know miss rum and coke and she'd be in a little well that would be long really and she and then you'd go up and then there'd be like you know the guys you know the incorporated [Applause] you're saying to me that uh how do you learn all the words you know and uh that would be the but the worst in a long string was a pilot i did well you know i must tell you that i was also on a danny thomas show called uh i'm a big girl now i don't remember that yeah it was not a huge pit i played neil striker the office boy and but danny taught me a spit take oh sure the only although i maintained my spit take you see danny's is more like you know oh i can't do that oh you're gonna do whatever you want but you know danny's is more like say to me uncle tenus will be here in a week uncle news will be here in a week a week okay mine is there's a variation of that say to me uncle tunus is coming for two weeks uncle tinus is coming for two weeks two weeks [Applause] i thought i thought that you said money [Applause] this is this doesn't go away that's right this is show business freddie keeps uh doing this yeah after all you know we want to mention the fugitives with nick nolte yes i saw a clip on this you get beaten to death by noldie yeah oh well nick can be very rough he drags you around and he's pulling you and hitting him on marty it's just football let's do another thing what are we going to see in this clip yes oh absolutely i i come in i'm robbing a bank i'm totally incompetent and nick is there a bank robber who's reformed determined to go straight but i come in to hold up the bank hold up and i'm not that good at it what's as they say the monitor that's funny yeah the lucky cake that's funny the spit take huh the double the two weeks yes but i don't want to lose my dignity you'll let me know what i do no you haven't no you haven't gone overboard at all all right we have certain standards left that's right we'll do this we're coming right back you

Channel: Johnny Carson

Views: 409,369

Keywords: episode, best, funny, youtube, funny videos, comedy, laugh, funniest, stand up, comedian, hilarious, stand up comedy, johnny carson, tonight show, humor, sketch, johnny carson bloopers, johnny carson show, johnny carson animals, johnny carson monologue, johnny, carson, tonight, show, funny video, best of johnny carson, funniest moments johnny carson

Id: zlsVo0-515Q

Length: 7min 54sec (474 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 12 2022