Martin Lawrence | Treat the Ladies Right!

I used to take relationships for granted I used to I thought that the [ __ ] was just supposed to happen you know I said yeah you know in a relationship it's just you you should know me you should know what I like and it should happen yeah if you were the person and you're communicating and you you get to know each other's likes and dislikes and one yeah those things fall into place but I'll be madder than a [ __ ] if I came home and nothing one cooking I walk in the house this [ __ ] you know just smell pine so so I know I asked what's cleaning but I walk in don't smell no chicken frying no nothing I go up to it's kill me back I talking for a minute can I income we go out for a minute yes what yes what's the problem oh look in the stove first before I start jumping the conclusion let me paint nothing there Oh you've been home all day yes so uh you didn't get an urge for a Butterfinger nothing huh yes I got a little hungry but I mean I manage why [Music] because you know I was coming home about five or six yes sure you mean to tell me you couldn't cook nothing up in this [ __ ] huh you can make a steak of my nothing up in the goddamn house huh what [ __ ] had we been communicating you would have known I didn't have no money and you damn sure didn't leave nothing now get the [ __ ] out my face that was [ __ ] up girls my only comeback was you you better watch your mouth [Applause] your girl has to be your best friend man and you have to be her best friend you guys gotta communicate talk cuz cain't no relationship work you know you're gonna be your best friend man you gotta play with your girl come on baby was i play with your girl band you left your Buzzi open let the [ __ ] obey all right that's about playing you song right you saw my crazy and then you gotta make sure you spend that time with your lady lady gotta spend that time with her man because they won't women say to us most yes they want to be held yes they want to be loved and all that what do they say to us all the time spend time with me spend time with me spend time with me spend some quality [ __ ] time with me why do you have to be running the streets all the time with your friend what are you [ __ ] your friends and some of those brothers like this cuz I ain't got no time I gotta go see when I feel cuz I found out when a woman is in love with your ass she looks forward to being with you she just wanted to be all up under you and the whole nine but sometimes we [ __ ] up cuz I'll take you through a week a woman will come to your ass on a Monday baby I know it's Monday and I was wondering if we were gonna hook up if we were gonna spend some time what's up baby I want to be robbed a B was that can we spend some time sorry I had told Craig in them I was gonna go out with them gotta go see when I feel you so Monday goes by twos that goes by Wednesday gets hit lady says well I spent no time with a man on Monday and Tuesday I knew I'm gonna get Wednesday with my man so she approached you baby I know you was busy on Monday Tuesday but I was wondering are we Christopher sometime today I want to be with my baby I just want to be with you what's up are we gonna spend some time I'm okay with there gotta go see when I see you now Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday is going by Friday gets here you ain't spend no time with this woman so far now women saying to herself on Friday look I know I'm gonna get Friday cuz my man been busy all week I knew I'm gonna get to spend some time with my man on Friday so a woman goes out on a Friday get her nails done get a had done and when a sister gets her hair done oh my [ __ ] is like cow cow cow cow pow you know and if something show up on the job on a Friday BAM and you don't even say nothin about a hand cuz you man she showed up [ __ ] you doing here [ __ ] you doing on my goddamn God well [ __ ] I can't seem to catch you no other time listen I know you were busy on Monday Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday but it is Friday and I want to be with my baby I want to be with you and we don't have to go anywhere I just want to be with you baby I don't Craig am I'm gonna kick it with them gotta go see you when I see you now a whole week is going by and you ain't spent no time with your lady you forgot you had a lady and who reminds you you ain't spent no time you're on my burger boy cuz he get mad at you you know what man you're just chipping in the Chaput and then running off at the [ __ ] mouth all I got damn time you know I'm gonna tell you what the [ __ ] you need to do Nick you need to go home and spend some [ __ ] time with your lady you ain't got no more money for no bed [ __ ] and then it dawns on the man lord damn yeah you ready for check me go home and spend some crack damn child with this woman I swear him for like going home here on my [ __ ] mouth man hey time I'm going that house I got in here I've got their mouth you go home with spin this [ __ ] time so you walk in the house on a Sunday your lady just got out the shower you know saying body all clean then she got a body all oiled got on some cut off sweat shorts the [ __ ] print like a fist you know what I'm talking about fellas laying like a [ __ ] camel footing their [ __ ] you know I'm talking about she got on a cut-off tank top with no bra and still got a little water on her back so when the air hits the water the nipple sprout out and how [ __ ] head still lookin good cuz she ain't been nowhere and all week she we can she slap on the [ __ ] like that [Applause] so you walk in the house man cuz you got to spend this time uh walking to the living room she laying on a couch but you don't know I'm just you know laying on the couch reading and what [ __ ] you read I'm not just good book Waiting to Exhale I know if it's been in no time with you but uh put some clothes on take you out slow bite to eat a shot and you're gonna spend time with it with your friends praying you know um see see see why the [ __ ] I don't come home you know I said cuz like I think here all that [ __ ] about hey not gonna fit some [ __ ] time with my friend Craig can't Nick you know say here's a book let me say something you want to go out and eat a knife okay ain't come home they hear you dipping in the Yap and all that [ __ ] either you want to eat or you don't every [ __ ] time I walk in the house I don't hear you telling me about this [ __ ] you want to eat a nut does she act like it hurts her to tell you this I think you better sit down [ __ ] I got the Samantha you remember when I kept asking you you never had a time you always had to be with your friend yo somebody else got your time so immediately we gotta play this [ __ ] off so another [ __ ] got my time well if that's how it had to be oh well I'll tell you what obviously you see I didn't want the [ __ ] time I was never here you know but hey boom that's no thing to me cuz I probably gonna need a relationship anymore far away but you know i'ma tell if we call my boy the [ __ ] up out of here you found you a [ __ ] man ya find nothing as good as you as I am but that's okay cuz imma be alright here I'm gonna be my talkin all right let me call my [ __ ] get up out this month yeah yeah yeah what am i yeah yeah it just got a little thing with her right yeah we broke up come get her [ __ ] give me a bout yeah yeah this went crazy I'm finna be like a mood looking but I'm cool you know so yeah cool yeah okay yeah I'm bringing the truck cuz I got a lot of [ __ ] okay cool click BAM get the [ __ ] up out you know pack my [ __ ] on up to [ __ ] up on out of here but i'ma tell you like this I'm gonna tell you like this you should have been a woman and came to me to talk to me that was some punk [ __ ] you did but I guess that's how you are you know what I'm saying you know get the [ __ ] up out of here and I'm gonna tell you another [ __ ] day I should crack your move for that funky to crack your [ __ ] [ __ ] just for disrespecting me I should crack yo [ __ ] I know you would but I gotta go see when I see [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Martin Lawrence

Views: 114,922

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Id: IOlqxKBTLSo

Length: 10min 51sec (651 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 17 2020