Mark Normand | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #258

today's guest is a fellow Louisiana native comedian he is he is one-of-a-kind you can see him tonight at the La Jolla comedy store in San Diego and touring all across America ladies and gentlemen mr. mark Norman [Music] [Music] [Music] yeah I'll just like heaven what it is man this year I see guys I started feeling like someone comfortable sometimes that sometimes it gives me like a little bit of like uh I don't for almost makes you feel like I'm in like disguise almost sunglasses do you feel better with sunglasses on it's like a poker game I want you to know what I'm doing you know yeah yeah I think I have this constant perception of this constant fear something that everybody knows what I'm thinking even though they don't look people in the eye cuz every like their can see it in my head oh you know weird this is all gold by the way we're missing it yeah we got it no these chairs are yeah um this is nice man good digs yeah thanks man we've been a little over three years that we've been podcasting now this is the new medium this is changing the game you know it's interesting huh yeah New York is way behind yeah why is that do you feel like New York is behind in the podcast world well we're such purist [ __ ] you know or vipra we think we're cool and great and it's all about the art and then over here you guys are like well I'd like to make some money yeah you know and we don't have any money look at Dave Attell Dave Attell is brilliant comedian funniest guy on the planet he's walking around with a CVS bag yeah and a black hoodie on and we said he had graffiti on his back hey probably fell asleep at a train station and then Joe Rogan is you know driving 17 cars and living in a warehouse you know so drinking space blood yeah yeah yeah so we gotta we gotta take a little note from you guys on that yeah but it's kind of picking up you have a podcast oh yeah oh yeah Tuesday's of stories baby it's cooking finally and um and I know people love Chris de Stefano and Yanis is podcast they're killing it they're killing it Tim Dylan we got heat mega moved here actually he moved here now that fat homo I know haven't well you got we got Schultz yeah you got Schultz over there all right dirrection yeah he's got that I know it kills that guy is a marketing guru he's wild bro he's such a sand Christian and he doesn't when you look at him he has a very if you look at Andrew Schultz where do you feel like he's from I feel like he has the most and big yeah I don't know what ambiguous means juhi Middle Eastern II or could be Italian could be Russian yeah you're right he's got the cheese stash and that throws you off it's his uber driver is he a DJ yeah yeah we're dropping we were black though yes yes exactly and he would know about all the cool nightclubs and yeah he'd have PDFs are probably some policy in the trunk trunk [ __ ] that's the best kind something would be in the trunk that was for sale if he were driving over black right right yes like old VCRs or some share blu-ray I've been in a blu-ray what is blu-ray I've always heard about it is that the uber black of DVD I think it is I think it's just something else that they tried to like really upsell people on cuz I don't think it really blooper he never really took off well I worked at Blockbuster not bragging and it was like the blu-ray section was like oh [ __ ] look at this guy was like VIP it was velvet roped and that bottleservice over there it was different but I never got it yeah I never I never had blue actually it scared me because it seemed like it wasn't gonna catch on yes yes exactly exactly that's why I never did it like Bitcoin yeah I heard there was a sorry there was a huge fight in the beginning between HD DVDs and blu-ray they were kind of like similar both better than regular DVDs but blu-ray one because the porn industry adopted it Oh porn is big mmm porn is so powerful do you watch I try not to watch but I have watched probably within the last 11 hours the same same yeah I had a block on my phone and it quit working when I once the block work to my phone it worked for about two and a half years you had a [ __ ] blocker yeah Wow bro it wiped it out of my eye there was no I can't access it on my computer but on my phone I can and uh I need to get a new blocker yeah the game when I got the phone blocker I was off for months and months well you know port is dangerous because if you don't watch it for five days and then you look at it again you're like whoa like it comes all back to you like this is amazing but it's bad for you it hits all the senses it's too much it's like ketchup it's too dark yeah yeah yeah and you can see anal and Asians and Jews it's tough and are there a Jew section on there I don't know there should be there should be like like Nazi porn yeah there's every other kind of porn this race is porn there is that's a category racist pool yeah and it's like you know oh I got the Asian and they throw an egg rolls at her and [ __ ] I mean I didn't make that up that's real yeah no let's see it doesn't seem like something you would just fabricate if it was it'd be pretty good China has Nazi theme bars oh I could see that yeah but it's not like we hate Jews just they are existed and you know that's a theme the China have you've been over there do stand I did some Shanghai and I'd saw the Great Wall and all that yeah not not a humorous people I mean we're doing better now with the the Ali Wong's is she Chinese oh boy here we go I'm Shane Gillis thing right now but yeah yeah and he's enough I think yeah yeah something's up Ronny Chang he's got to be China he's gotta be China if he's not Chinese dude then we quit yeah he's if he's not Chinese he's Russian won't you oh she's from Pacific Heights she's from San Francisco oh so there you go yeah it's Chinatown yeah this is the Charlotte that's the trolley Chinese they call him she's very very funny a big fan of the Wong yeah Oh Kobe so I went in a porn hub last night I went to the search cuz I like the compilations and Kobe Bryant was the first first thing that popped up Wow in that while that means that some people mourn people want to get in there and see Kobe Bryant pornography I think it's women that look like Kobe or is it is it man and I didn't I didn't click on it but I think it's I guess ladies or gay guys they're like I want to oh [ __ ] or watch a Kobe like guy [ __ ] I'm sure there's a lot of men who are getting uh like kind of lean gay men who are black men tall men yeah I'm probably extra work right now yes yes isn't that weird like this guy died let's bring him in yeah do you have a jersey come on over yeah I wouldn't think like that you know I liked Ralphie May but I'm not googling that although he's not sexy but yeah but I'm not gonna eat 40 tight Jirka exactly exactly and r.i.p Ralphy man that's so crazy how it's so wild how quickly someone goes from being here to being gone isn't it it's just so yeah yeah yeah and it's an eye-opener you kind of go [ __ ] I could go in any minute I got family and then my friends and what if they go and yeah II had a lot more to do I feel like do you yeah that's the feeling and also and also that he just got done really working like yeah I know that whole stretch of like being a athlete like even though it's glorified and stuff a lot of times and it's a popular job and people love seeing it it's also it's still a ton of work it's like oh yeah man was warp me played in those other leagues you played on the Olympic teams and that was working for 20 years totally totally and it's kind of why he crashed cuz he was he was doing so much that he couldn't sit in LA traffic so he had to get helicopters but I'm not a big NBA guy but I watched his documentary and it blew my mind because it relates to stand up you can put a you know a parallel and just hard-working and what there's a story of him he went to basketball camp as a kid and like three months of camp didn't score one basket not one and he said he felt like I'd let his dad down because that was a player he let his uncle down and then he just kept working and became the best yeah I think that's one thing that like cuz I've never been a big Kobe fan I was a big Jordan fan yeah you know Zions got me back into the embrace I'm with the Pels ion yes exciting but I always marveled at how what how he had people from around the world really gravitated towards him yeah yeah and I'm marveled at his work ethic it just seemed like there was nobody else like in the fourth quarter of games and stuff who was who it seemed like not only wanted the ball but it was it was gonna be able to handle it better than anybody yeah yeah and he was tough and scary and competitive but I feel like as he grew he got more gentle and and loving like he would shout out to the younger guys like it's going great and we've all been you know when you start out and staying up you're like who's this young [ __ ] guzzler coming up on my heels and then after a while you're like wait I'm good he's good why can't we all be good yeah and I'm gonna give a nice tweet do you think like was there something that like like say when like a like that happens is there something that you kind of think like like I sometimes I wonder like where does it hit me like does it hit me that I'm like like scared of like leaving scared of missing people like I wonder like what is it about like specifically about death that like you know really gets me the most well I think it's a coupling one it's it's just so final there's no like next try or let me redo and then right there's no more email there's not like another II you don't get another email nothing nothing you know you write a bad tweet you delete it you write another one this is it your typos out there too you want to be you want to have put like a little dent on the earth a little bit like have some videos some photos some change and he's got kids ah the whole thing sucks it should have been a should have been curry her you think no I'm joking I'm sure it would have been two hours I think if you if it would have been Sam Perkins you remember him from the Sonics gonna bring Wow pull up perky yeah it's been a while he's one of the first extremely stoned players to play well but also Kobe he shot a three into the stands one time no wrong way yeah wow that's yeah one of a cut to death for that I was picturing a white guy Sam Perkins I don't remember him oh yeah one of a kind dude and he definitely oh look at those of course he has in there yeah it's sideways like a diagonal corn yeah like they're kind of like the Asian corn like when they planted on the mountain he played at North Carolina with Michael Jordan to AH he was one of a kind um so cool is there is there a lie sometimes I you know what I sadly is when I think about dying I don't want to have like lies out there that I've told oh yeah because if everything's just at that point it's like when you it it's all coming out yeah yeah that's it and you can't fix it you have no control and if you die like that that's it yeah so you did you're [ __ ] yeah I used to think sometimes I never however you died that that's how you like are in heaven so I like this you know yeah then you gotta walk around like that yeah but isn't heaven supposed to be perfect and great and all that yeah I don't think they do like a lot of like car work up yeah they're not doing Botox yeah they're not remodeling your for you get there you show up like if you got hit by a train but that means everybody in heaven is gonna be all black and shit-faced and weird and run flat from being run over or smushed yeah I think it'll be fun immediately what happened right I guess you got a bunch of dog bites on you that's a tough way yeah yeah you got a bullet hole right here immediately yeah people have that bullet hole like some guys why run with a spear he's 500 years old musket wound scurvy AIDS yeah it's so scary man it's just so and just has no control you have no control over it either and when I got back to LA I felt it at the airport it was like oh man like you know there's just so many Kobe fans I know I know many and it's kind of nice that in this world of cancelling and PC and all that that he he got in trouble for whatever he did I don't want to get into it yeah and we can still mourn the guy we don't have to sit there and go well actually it's like shut up let us have this the guy's dead enough with your [ __ ] right you know well yeah and I think that it's one of the reminder yeah it's like almost this it's almost like this so necessary reminder for Humanity that we all have so many mistakes yes there's this there's this weird like crush or especially with social media where it's this perfection that's not yeah it's so unrealistic I know like in the 90s it was hey nobody's perfect and now it's hey if you're not perfect we'll figure it out and kill you yeah and then it's annoys me I don't want to get to qui fee on here but these douches on Twitter that just [ __ ] on you your homophobia racism and then I got kills himself and they go hey if you're feeling sad reach out what do you do about it's like you did this you're the you're the piece of [ __ ] you're the poison out here you're ruining us stop yelling at me you [ __ ] [ __ ] ah drives me crazy Joe I was listening to Brogan last night at the comedy story and honestly like he has some new material that some of the no joke some of the best stuff of it oh yeah Wow it's just so good man and it's it's it's exactly about like that kind of stuff to cancel culture in this the level like how just it's some people that are doing all of this it's the loud voice yes yeah yeah and then what's weird when you know you see these people on Twitter going oh shut up cancel cultures not a thing get over yourself and you're like well I mean it's we're talking about it right now therefore it probably exists I don't remember hearing this term 10 years ago right so it's obviously there people are getting fired and you know killing themselves and [ __ ] so something's up well it's we it's like if you well like it's funny cuz even like with Ari Shaffir you know it's always tweet and already you know and it just came up when teams yeah just saw somebody sent me a link I don't know something just happened today with it but um uh it was like oh wow this guy is you know Ari's getting can't he's like he's getting cancelled in the in the sense of like I think a lot of people who maybe didn't even know about him yeah yeah yeah are now just they hear his name and that he's that it's no good that he's right right you got a stigma you're done kind of I think a lot of his fans who were his fans for his dark and yes style and his like totally graveyard sort of Alfred Hitchcock kind of you know his ambience yeah yeah ambience his shtick or if they're they they are probably they love it they have to be accepting of it at least if they know that that's what he's in yes yeah what was that what was though there was a we had a video question one of our listeners sent in about this okay I haven't huge Tuesday oh that's my pot and was just wondering what Marx thought about the Kobe video that Ari Shaffir did I know Theo von said in his podcast that it was just a whole mess of a situation and you know children died did you know that there is free speech but to expect you know the wrath and consequences that will come from that and I'm just wondering what mark thought since I know they're both good friends and I know like re mark likes to push the envelope to on his comedy and he's a real mailman yeah funny maybe should have just been a Twitter drive I don't let me let me know you guys think and please come to a peso I the border loves you I think the border loves you yeah yeah gang Avenue thank you brother that's a good it's nice that he listens to both of our podcasts yeah that is nice yep odds are big but if you really want to know my are anything I just think who gives a [ __ ] he's he's a he's a dirtbag this is his thing he's a friend of mine this is he's always done this and for some reason this Kobe won really hit home with people and so he just he's always made these kind of jokes when someone dies but for some reason this one is sticking yeah and I don't give a [ __ ] you know he's not a bad guy that's something when are he gives back he gives so much but people just know him as this you know friend dosing a Kobe joke making guy with a lot of people will just the thing about some of the cancer culture stuff it's like you you get introduced to people for the first time only is a bad guy yes and I don't want to say any names but somebody gave out his address Wow and it's a person we know and you want to be like hey [ __ ] what are you doing like you didn't you're calm you know what he's doing it's not trying to get on other people's side by I know you're angry but like also you're introducing people to our ease joke cause you're actually spreading it more either you think it's so evil why would you want more people to see it yeah you know and and it's just so backwards and giving out his address is basically what he's doing to Kobe so now you're just doing the thing he's doing so you're just as guilty and just as big of a piece of [ __ ] or maybe more because Lee start was trying to be humorous I mean he's a horrible comedian so he's not gonna be funny but at least he was trying he doesn't he's not hurting anybody the guy's dead but the other guy giving out the address that could actually cause violence yeah what if somebody shows up over there yeah yeah and then then we should tweet out your [ __ ] address how about that yeah and then when does it end yeah yeah you [ __ ] shoot yeah it's so funny because Oryza nice like always let me stay at his place I don't even know re very well yes let me stay there for two weeks when I was in needed a place to stay in New York I mean that's a nice thing to do yeah he's not your thing stay in you know you can stay in my place I don't think he charged me any you know didn't even make me pay anything right what do you about the dose thing with Bert because that really a lot of people on the fence on on the big [ __ ] and then that just pushed him over into the in New Mexico yeah I think I don't know enough about the dosing but I just think as far as like surprising somebody with some drugs I think that's kind of sometimes I'm like is that some of the world that they all live in ah you know like I don't know what their previous history with it is if they're like you know slipping and you know you know you know sprinkling some you know some of that [ __ ] brain glitter some PCP you know I don't know what they're doing how much they're secretly hide and acid in each other's ass like when I was growing up they had a thing for Japan for a while girls didn't LSD in their vagina yeah a dick trip you dick I'll go in and get all burning man that was the thing yeah well I think Earl was tripping you get in there and get some of the trip is real I don't mind a trip but I don't want it through my dick hole that's that's a weird suppose that's a wild entrance at that front suppository hell Nick Nick's a creeper well he's a premature baby dude he's making up for lost are you a preemie well you came out good that's insane man why is a lot of these guys going thirty-six and Nick got out early broad nick is a hard worker oh yeah I was like a c-section really oh yeah I came up through the [ __ ] roof oh wow I guess maybe this the moon room I didn't come up through the door yeah I could see if you like I don't know you know is the best thoroughfare right see what else is going on and you've all touched your mom's veg f it but I haven't touched my mom's vagina which feels pretty good oh yeah I guess I could see that uh yeah there is always a weird element I think sometimes when I look at my mom and she and I both know it I did yeah yeah you ruined her labia for a while and they say it goes back yeah I hear it's never exactly the same but that's my buddy said that oh well maybe had a big kid or something yeah he said cuz I thought we've all banged some milfs and it didn't feel that different yeah I don't have any feelings in my penis at all I don't feel like oh come on I don't think so I mean it also many of the nerves were in my brain that's how it's like if I think hard enough I can feel something but otherwise it's kind of like wait is you serious yeah just not I mean yeah like I'm not very sensitive downtown I don't think so I don't what you got jizz it all over no really oh I put it in I'm done oh yeah I mean and don't worry I got the brain stuff to I'm going I hate myself I'm tiny I'm gay all this [ __ ] yeah I don't have the you got the band back together oh yeah oh yeah my dicks like like a girl at seeing the notebook it's just weeping it's bad bro the first time I ever had sex I remember getting right up like literally my penis was right outside of this girl's vagina yes and it just like sneezed ejaculate just like like it was yeah so it hit the out so it pressure washe oh definitely it was like it was almost like my he was like I'm too sick to handle this vomited outside of this girl's yeah entryway you puked at the table you didn't get to the buffet oh man your Golden Corral and we were so ready everybody was so ready so then I had to pretend like I was so ready bro and that was crazy cuz I had to like Oh hold on I don't want to just do this yeah make up this long story right and then I finally just got honest with her and and she smelled like cigarettes as well but mom aside then I got honest with her and I said look already I'm done yeah blue condom no con oh oh so she didn't she didn't feel the big splurge of mayo she might have seemed I think I think she was gonna be a nice cuz it kind of you know out like right in the hallway right I got in the 4-year ah yes you're in the lobby yeah damn a lobby so I was in the lobby ah hey killer so I gotta say I've known you for 38 years now and you're really getting more comfortable as you the more every year that goes by you're getting more at one with yourself well thanks man and it's it's inspiring thanks bro cuz you know in the beginning of comedy we all kind of pretend like we're cool and we're not nervous and we don't give a [ __ ] but we're freaking out the whole time oh yeah you know but now I feel like you're owning you which is very healthy thanks man I'm trying to do better at it it's definitely yeah it's been something you know like I've been on that path or like or not a path but you know I got sober a couple years ago got into that world and so that kind of stuff made me start to like I don't know it's but it's definitely helped me with try not to be so like how you cease to be so much more angry I'm still kind of edgy about business and stuff oh yeah scared same here but uh I don't know think about it feel like they're taking advantage of me yeah yeah dude but nice to be on stage and always I felt like I had this thing that like I had to prove or something yeah yeah yeah it's been interesting man but but that's interesting about learning as we grow and growing in our voice like when I watched you on on your rogue and I was like oh my god dude this guy is like such a just one just like some I can't even tell what airy your friend well I was I was nervous don't get me wrong oh dude totally right yeah you were oh my you couldn't tell you were cool Zach you well I think you channeled the nerves into you and did like just beYOU on steroids and like you popped you did to a lot of people oh yeah the response was great from you being on I had a good response but you know I saw I got a ways to go yeah I feel like you've honed a thing and I'm still I'm still in the path of honing I think but I think you're such a but I think one does the thing that we start to realize is that yeah we're already kind of with maybe where we need to be in some ways I mean I think you're such a unique I mean there's just nobody who's who's has the same it's not only the jokes but it's also you kind of your ambience meeting up with this mmm this uncomfortable you know I'm uncouple right now so really really I feel like I'm so weird and different I don't know it's all very strange and we don't know what we're doing but the journey is the fun part we've got to stop and realize that you know where we're gonna be 88 one day we're gonna be like Mel Brooks and [ __ ] Carl Reiner going those were great times I wish we had stopped and soaked it in a little do you think as comics it's hard to enjoy stuff though Oh completely you just worry about the next thing you're always about the future when's my next gig what's this this is guy hate me I got I got a make up with him that girls yelling at me I got to work on that but just think like remember back at Lucy's yeah we were on the [ __ ] yeah we did Lucy see how there's a bar in New Orleans that had an upstairs show yeah that's a great room for a great room great room but I didn't know what was going on I knew you had done some stuff so that was exciting but now you're in I'm in your studio and [ __ ] in LA yeah we're both here it's quite a roller coaster of anal I mean a lot is happening yeah that's crazy who's Nick serial IV [ __ ] water baby we're glad to have you though I'm glad your mom didn't get in the borscht yeah that's true she thought about it encouragement she was supposed to stop every kid she schizophrenic oh I'm sorry I didn't know oh it's all good making all the jokes you want she's single Hey all right I love a crazy bro yeah Markel date one of her yeah yeah man well that was so wild coming up and that time I guess in New Orleans I don't know I felt like you guys had like such a close-knit group there and I didn't really kind of fit in but i but i but i did start doing comedy they're in Lucy's and uh in brown that that little bar that was downstairs next door across the street oh yeah originally it had a sign on the stage' said Brown on it yeah what was that it's like a Wednesday night yeah yeah yeah and the guys like we did make any money tonight you just after him buy drinks it's what he told me well oh [ __ ] about like 19 drinks two of them yeah yeah you had to pay to perform when you when you were new yeah because you were like you were in the way like they're you're lucky we're letting you do this here money's no scene really oh no they're barely is now but it's better but yeah stand up it didn't even seem like a way to make a living we're just like let me try this it's something to do because all we did was drink yeah and try to get laid and drive around drunk and you know do blow or whatever but like stab which is it felt like let me try this thing I got nothing going on yeah yeah girls don't like me maybe this will be some way women yeah and then my friends like I move in New York and I say well I got nothing else going on it almost kind of helped being desk and worthless and a loser yeah because you had nothing attached to you and you're like [ __ ] and I go to New York City what's the difference yeah I can go up there to Stacey yeah it's almost like yeah what other reason yeah it's like you almost have to be at this low space in yourself yes okay oh I'll take anything right right right right because moving in New York I don't know that was so scary I didn't do that you didn't do it to LA AHA oh yeah I knew I got mugged three times in a year you know you're so poor you're so worthless and you don't know the city and it's before smartphones and my landlord died of AIDS I got bedbugs I mean the whole thing was bananas yeah yeah yeah but you're just so young and drunk the whole time you're like yeah this is life I'm an adult yeah oh you guys I feel like now that's a different side where I think I would understand you guys holding on to the cult or more of comedy like the the you know the sort of British regalia ah right because you guys really go through it there in New York like you're sleeping on top of us you know yeah fat guys back for $20 a night you sure really whereas in LA it's like you can even if you're in the park here it's nice yeah that's right the weather I do it I got to tell you I'm pitching these shows that'll never gets old and I'm at the Fox lot and you walk in there's a big parking lot it's a beautiful day this is open-air courtyard all these girls have their shoes kicked off they get the feet up on the table there they're smoking vape pens they're drinking a coffee they got the sunglasses on I'm like you don't know what you got this is amazing you don't appreciate out of any of it this is your job you're getting paid probably 100 grand a year we're gonna @tv you're in show business you got your shoes off at work yeah you're living it living it they don't even know they're like uber eats is taking a while you like shut up [ __ ] you're living the dream what are you crazy you got a Tesla yeah have a moped oh man as it blows my mind but that's LA I mean I get it I'm an idiot I'm the weirdo I should have moved here because what would you have but you could have done it different yeah you're right you're right you gotta go that way it's just like you you just couldn't have done it different like you couldn't have gotten you gotta go with your gut like you got to be in New York I mean you got your me in like it had to be as you're growing over there and has you're getting more opportunities you're like holy [ __ ] like because in LA it's like you see people that are I have a different type of talent than you yes people that aren't ready that don't have that a lot of times do not have some talent sure and you see them get huge opportunity right you know in it and and everybody kind of backs it up there's more of this PR kind of bull yeah yeah la almost feels like a high school extended you know it's like cool clothes cool cars cool guy sneakers halfa he wins he wins yeah yeah we're in New York it's it feels more like oh that was a clever take on that joke and it was it feels more arty a little bit like a little more intellectually and like like Dave Attell as I mentioned he looks like a hobo right but he's this brilliant guy you know he's a let yeah yeah you always have somebody like that yeah anything that makes you check that checks the all the level yes it's like even if he's not personally doing it it's just him being there right there's a ceiling as to what's going on yeah but then you go to the Comi store I'm in the main room green room and you're like look all these sexy dudes you know like Brendan shoves a [ __ ] chiseled fat [ __ ] like he's got a slick hair the cool shoes got a chain on I would never even think to put on a change I think that white part of bacon yeah on the white part a baker still good but damn boy yeah yeah thick and not good for you yeah he's a thick crust he's got the cheese in there too you know you stretch it in it it pulls I know I know but he's like seven foot one he's got a huge piece so badass it's crazy one leg dude his other that it's a it's a [ __ ] penis of the Neil he's got a bendy dick yeah he's got ligaments oh yeah he can stand on his dick yeah it's a kickstand a dick Stan you know what's amazing about Brendan man and uh because he and I do the King in the same podcast and it's like he's like to go from football right to fighting mm-hmm which you would never even imagine if you talked to him that he was a UFC fighter I feel I know he's so sweet yeah it's like he's like he's kind of like that American dream in a weird way of like that if you work hard you can get you can make things happen you know yeah like he never stops working right you know I'd say crazy he works so hard bro it's crazy like he's he's in the morning he's on that bike his family's flying Oh Columbus this weekend he's come back he's doing this podcast he's doing that and he keeps a good attitude yes positivity is very underrated yeah yeah he's very positive he looks good the whole time he's always smiling you never see him like [ __ ] this [ __ ] yeah and you're right he does work and in that and that that vibe that he has that's one of the things that I think a younger generation with a comedy how did they attract two more because they don't they don't have this kind of left like this to them it's all like about it's more on fun yes let's have fun it doesn't matter who we are what's going on let's have a good time and that's what he has yeah whereas some of the old some of the others are like oh man you know yeah yeah somebody you know some of these this doldrum inside of me and yes keeps me going not to mention people watch the news all day it's none of us shootings and death and politics and Trump and all this [ __ ] coming at you see when you see this fun-loving happy-go-lucky guy you're like all right it's like ah I feel a little better like I can breathe a little then you know cuz some guys you watch like Bill Byrne it's just like dude I'll [ __ ] kill you your mom's a [ __ ] and your dad's yeah and all and you're like yeah I did it I did exactly don't hurt me you feel he's gonna give you a wedgie yeah an easy job and you're like all right it's like a it's like a golden retriever oh yeah he's kind of like a Chewbacca yes I'm broken like a Claire's boutique it will not leave no matter what we're open 24 hours a day now yeah in a two baka ran through a Armani Exchange and [ __ ] stuck to him yeah he's a he's a cool dude I'd sex with him today he's a good egg he is a good egg like I did his podcast once and this is the complete contrast of New York I pull in it's a sunny day he pulls in red Ferrari I see one [ __ ] giant shoe of an Air Jordan hit the concrete I'm like oh who's this Tom Cruise you know and it's [ __ ] him like you're a comic come on but it's a different era yeah yeah he's in that I don't know they just I wish sometimes that I had like the clothing confidence of like yeah the Lea and I know they're so sexy God I'm just like this fit this has never fit that's the only thing I ever think when I put something yeah maybe like we went to public school yeah I got I have every time I'm in a dressing room at like a gap I put something on like a jean jacket and I go hey this looks pretty good and all I hear is eight friends going what the [ __ ] do you think you're doing you think you pull that off you [ __ ] loser you piece of [ __ ] you kill yourself I'm like all right there we go that was a fun moment and you put that [ __ ] right back on the hanger most of my stuff is going out into the mic won't you go out to the other mirrors outside of your room yes yes and asking people from a medium or a large and then just [ __ ] I start sweating so bad and then I go home yeah and you're all mirror you're killing you're like John Travolta your hair the [ __ ] blow dryer going and then when you get outside you're like what am i doing yeah this is what this is wrong this is never this is never worked but if you owned it people would believe it but it's you it's in you it's true the thing that doesn't fit is in me man them yeah and the large that's all in there the x ball that's all going on inside of me right whether it's a turtleneck or a [ __ ] sheepskin vest you know it's all inside of me and then that's why like ladies will gravitate to some like ill-dressed ill-fitting we're dogs it like he owns it yeah that's the key isn't it yeah you just gotta just got a they go wrong yeah that guy's a tire jack is a hat but he owns it he owns it baby that guy's got a yarmulke on gross buddy oh yeah that hair wallet that's what I do uh what did you like did you like growing up in New Orleans because you had a while it was tough because I grew up outside of there a lot of times people you know be like oh you and mark Normand know each other know mark and I know like you know I remember different guys from their Wild Bill that was oh yeah bill dykes yeah bill dykes um who else to Scotland green know there's he's funny yeah really neat I haven't seen I know yeah I know you've seen him on in New York or yeah um and then number Patton remember there was Neil slowly of course Patton yeah Sean Patton Fouchet Dayne funny yeah he was so nice too yeah that was back when like if you were doing comedy back then you loved comedy cuz now it's kind of hip and it's a fad and everybody's like for my new year's resolution I'll do stand-up you're like I got out of here yeah huge you don't like it yeah yeah but we had we had to do it was like in us you know we weren't any money but yeah those guys all I looked up to all you guys cuz you guys were a little older you'd been on stage a few times and I didn't know how to pull the mic out like you forget that's all you have to learn all that [ __ ] yeah you know and I saw you you were so cool and collected up there oh that's so funny I think I had like I remember your bit still aren't we all under the weather yeah old dad I remember all of them yes I didn't know how to write a joke so I would just study and like oh that's what you do oh that's pretty good okay and then I would go up there and bomb I don't think you bombed oh boy did I bombed for four years I mean I had a couple like you know you good Chuck it was obvious that you were into it that I was into it I was hooked yeah cuz I had nothing going on and I'm and I was jealous I thought you were like this Jewish kid and I was like oh man look at this Jung Joo gonna sneak over that in New York and make it happen you know some kind of nepotism just magic right yeah yeah but good work Yiddish dust yeah Breitling but no I'm not a probably quarter yet you might have hidden yet I got a little little something in me about some Tiger Hidden Mark I think yeah I got no foreskin that's for sure okay yeah so that part of me is a little jewy but I I wish I'm a big fan of the Jews I love a Semite yeah well the funny thing is about like a lot of Jewish people it's like oh they act like they're so good at everything mmm and then they are mmm that's the funny thing sometimes I think that's why people hate them you gotta realize there's six percent of the country and they're killing everything they got the media the banks lawyers doctors accounting all that [ __ ] it's all Jews yeah that uh percent but then also there's a dark side of having a Jewish buddy of you once spoon of bad yogurt and you don't see him for you know oh good point good point yeah yeah you give one of our avocados gonna break out no reaction it's true and I got the allergies real bad yeah yeah you give a [ __ ] half of a mango and he breaks out into Christianity yeah I think you just got some sand Christian wandering right not to mention Isis but yeah but it's weird is Jerusalem it's all these swarthy tan dark haired sexy beasts and then you go to Brooklyn at some guy at a diner going uh this says Darion and I'll kill myself or whatever so it's a weird a contradiction yeah totally yeah it's a different the American Jew is different I think than the yes Oh J yeah exactly exactly no J the original Jews everything Oh Israel from Israel God I got I got I got it at home the home team we didn't have we did it when I was growing up we didn't have any Jewish people around us my mom dated a Jewish black guy for a little while zolly Sammy Dave yeah Holly Ritchie Holly Richburg yeah welcome to our first Saints gamer gave he he got his tickets to go to our first Saints game there you go but yeah we didn't they didn't have a lot of that around they didn't have a lot of that at least not in Covington they yeah well I grew up in Treme and I went to dilla Salle for high school Wow the public schools are getting a little rough yeah my dad's like you're go on a private school was that Mintz de LaSalle no it was co-ed thank God I think this girl tell you that I used to date was yes oh do it I was in love with her that works I was so impressed that you pulled that yes she was a beautiful girl man yeah beautiful still what is she doing now I'd love to get a look at a couple of like a year ago commuting her yeah um dinner I mean that was back with like there's no hot girls in New Orleans I'm sorry I grew up there there's like six it's like the Britain of uh yes yeah yeah they got some rough gumbo mug it's not something's up down there well it's just a lot of heat in the food man in it yeah after the skin it comes up through the pores to the back that's right that's right it's a lot of blotchy sweaty fat skanks down there and I mean I love the people I'm just saying you're not gonna find a Miss New Orleans right you can't have a lady that's had 9,000 oysters and she's clocking it visually right right she looks like a crawdad at that point you know yeah heavy on the cross the real boudin mug yeah there's like two and they all leave you know they go to [ __ ] Houston or something I don't know where she and she worked at that place Lucy's but uh she did yes she worked it that's how I met her Wow she was smokin man like she was a humdinger yes she was home dinger yes she was a nice girl she was really cool we still communicate once in all she got engaged a thing oh good for her engaged and cool family and stuff boy we talked my reinstated her house for a while and I used to have this nervous condition I would urinate in the sink right ah and uh laying it on purpose like you would put your dick in the sink and pee it wouldn't go all the way in but yeah we'd get up there okay okay and I'm trying to visualize yeah no no that's fine yeah yeah so I go in there and when I was standard or folks house that's how they the MA they busted me this why have issues with cats man because the cats would get over them they would start peeing in the sink and stuff to combat somebody else being in the neighborhood a little territorial yeah and so they're like they cornered me one time at breakfast like you peeing in the same well how did they know cuz of the cats man well how did what the cancer because I was the only rare I was the rare Li was the unique element outside yes you're the variable yes interested like why would the caffeine in the sink cuz something's being in the same wow that's pretty good detective I wouldn't I would have been like these [ __ ] cats or I would every town shut out Tarrytown detectives brother ha ha ha Terry knows a good place to get Nikes and murder if you like yeah there was one gated community but outside of it it was hell I was very unused to wet the bed oh yeah yeah dude it's one of the ways I told you I went to bed forever is that right oh man oh [ __ ] that'll give a guy some character I'll tell you that because you know you got a deal with it you're like seven at a friend's house they're all snoozing it's 4:00 in the morning you go alright I gotta figure I gotta have a game plan here I look at a game plan yeah he's so sneaky yes yes and it makes you realize like lay this [ __ ] ain't fair but let's do something about it you know you can't just sit here and go what do I do you know you got to start learn how to use a washer/dryer I'm ever reading the instructions inside the dryer door going okay all right you know and flipping sheets flipping mattresses I at one time I peed the bed at my friend's house and I was just covered in piss oh I slept in my clothes covered in piss I have any extra clothes so I had to go to summer camp with him the next day covered in piss wet the whole day and I finally dried around lunch time yeah but I just had to just not let anybody touch me and I smelled like whiz and and you know older people know that's a crazy thing they new YMCA summer camp like you woman like kickball yeah I'm soaking wet I got a tie-dye here but it's all whiz yeah but yeah that was a rough day that was the worst waking up at night at a friend's house cuz you were already so scared to stay at a friend's yeah so scared to go to sleep cuz the only thing I could think of every night if I go to sleep am I gonna wet the bed exactly and then how's it gonna make me feel about myself it's gonna be bad and then you wake up at a friend's and it's literally like the worst game show you've ever been yeah you have to figure out how to dry the sheet yep you know I remember having a lamp one time in somebody's room and I snuck over with the sheet and I just set it over the line dry it to dry where the heat was coming out of top of lamp and I would move it over to so little at a time that space I could smell the urine yeah it's like [ __ ] survivor you gotta like figure that's naked and afraid you're wet and are you alright yeah and you don't want their mom to wake up even though some of the people's moms probably would've been cool of course you just didn't watch your buddy really didn't know that way yes toughest part I'm at one time I went to bed it was like a big sleepover my friend of this big house it was like eight of us and I woke up and all eight friends were around me standing looking down at me with the mom and I went huh I looked down covered in pee and they're all staring at me and one of my friends goes why do you do that and it just crushed me you don't you're like nine you're like I don't know it stopped looking at me it was brutal and the moms like get up get up like she was pissed like you were my [ __ ] Sealy yeah so yeah that was tough why don't you do that yeah we're tough man and then it home did you have to clean your own bed yet to clean the bed off oh she's on it now sure I would flip that mattress you know constantly you'd have a covered mattress now because I had it but it was too disheartening every time you sit down and sound like a bag of Fritos I gotta just live with that I can't live with the krinkle I'll just take the the soaking wet match yeah I don't want to hear this yeah it's like we're in some people don't want you wear a diaper cuz I'm [ __ ] not [ __ ] alright I'm not wearing a diaper I'd rather be covered in [ __ ] than wear a diaper I can't do it dude that's what I say like about bike helmets like I would read my father die get hit by a car on a on a bicycle yeah then see my father ever come in door wearing a bike down oh that helmets a bad look just sitting up there the plastic yarmulke never looks the same right now no brutal my dad one time my dad lost his job and we're like oh [ __ ] you know it's kind of like scary what's dad gonna do how we gonna pay the bills I was young and he came in one day with a gumball machine over his shoulder and we're like what are you doing dead he's like hey you know gotta make ends meet and I was like oh that's a gumball guy he's the guy like setting up gumballs in a Rite Aid and then taking the quarters out like he was he was struggling yeah and I was like oh this is like your role model you know you know this guy he's wearing a suit and everyday and driving a nice car and then one day it's carrying a [ __ ] gumball machine damn with stickers in it and [ __ ] was it embarrassing like did you did you have embarrassment like bringing people over to your place and stuff like oh yeah my parents are real weirdos like my dad was a bottomless a lot and the old Daffy Duck oh wow yeah yeah well he didn't know like my friends be home and so he'd have a t-shirt on with no bottoms and he'd be like excuse me there Larry and I was like hey my dad and my mom eat weird food so like we never had soda you know we never had like Lunchables or gushers or any that fun [ __ ] it was always like Dee what is it Dee ha evaporating milk it was over there a lot we had like we'd never ranch dressing but we had vinaigrette like in that weird French bottle and it was all stained and gross and yeah yeah my mom was a weird chef foodie [ __ ] thing and it was it was brutal Dan you know some people are like dominos yeah we didn't have any of that [ __ ] they're like that's bad for you which I get now but at the time you like order some pizza hutt yeah it's you know it's also bad for is having nothing yes like half a radish in there come on I'm not eating radish I'm eight you need to be healthy I'm like I'll be anything yeah yeah I know I know you know some people I'd like Doritos oh you don't have no we didn't do that all that [ __ ] was like gold to me my mom was definitely the same way she was very health conscious yeah but also like but also yes you wouldn't get us like the the regular stuff that all the other kids had and also I think some of us kind of pricey you know yeah so some of that came into play but yeah man I'm member it was always embarrassing this stuff not only did my like everything else feel felt embarrassing but the stuff we had to eat yes same same and kids are so cruel like why don't you have soda yeah like I don't know like um whatever you got so many cookies you got so many snacks anything oh how about school lunch I would have a grocery bag like somebody want a lunchbox I had a grocery bag with all kinds of weird [ __ ] in it and a jar of chocolate milk like a glass jar so it's cool at the Greyhound station it was but my mom would be like bring that jar back so I was like alright so after lunch I'm the guy with a jar purely one with the jar my god I gotta get it home they thought I had a kidney in there some [ __ ] it was brutal I was looked like I had moonshine on me brutal Nick but so right here even just hearing this it creates a world yes out of you yeah so suddenly there's so many more little elements to the world it's like not only am I going to school today but I have this weird lunch I have to hide it I have to make everything look cool you know suddenly you're creating like all these levels to the world yes and you're getting creative yeah and you're getting create you're talking fast what he have a jar then you come up with [ __ ] and make a joke out of it you spin the bottle or something you grab a guy's ass just something to get it off of you yeah you're hiding you're sneaking around yeah something to get it off of you yes yes and then you develop this weird thing we think everybody's paying attention what you're doing yeah so you have to always be performing because right even when nobody's looking at you you think everybody is yeah you always are like trying to seem okay trying to seem like this so then right there even inadvertently you get used to being a performer right without even your own like so then it makes sense that when there's an opportunity to perform somewhere that it's inside of you why do this because I'm in oddly doing this forever that's a great realization right thought I heard a great quote about comedy the reason people do stand-up is so you can control why people laugh at you hmm and I remember I heard that I'd hit me cuz it's so true you don't want them to laugh you for wetting the bed but you wanted to laugh at you for what you pick right you know and I think that's a big part of stand-up yeah yeah yeah yeah I want to be able to I have to I need to have some way of controlling what you think about me yes so many other things in my life made me feel like I have no control Oh why these people are looking at me this way or what's going on right right yeah I like all that MA like the weird [ __ ] your parents were doing stuff that I had no controller I live in this sentence exam was so [ __ ] bizarre totally Tommy and I had a transgender nanny I mean we'd all kinds of weird yeah house teacher thought I was [ __ ] when I was in my third grade story I remember she gave an awesome my mom had to like come in and be like I swear to god he's not you know then she was like why do you think he's [ __ ] and she goes look at this paper and it was you know we were little so it was a page of instruments like drawing like a flute guitar piano whatever and the instructors were circle the instruments and I circled them all and I circled a saw like a handsaw and she's like look he's got to be an idiot he circled a saw but I saw a Marx Brothers movie when I was like 7 where he played a saw yeah and so I circled a song cause in my mind like yeah that's music so when I told my mom that she was like oh thank God I was about to you know ship you off to Indonesia and have you killed yeah we thought you were an idiot so that was a so you know it was thinking outside the box was was risky back then yeah yeah I remember I've told this story before but had the first kid ever met that had a stutter I thought it was the best thing I'd ever heard I was like oh my oh yeah who's this magic man right now it's free entertainment yeah who's this for hick in early Tiesto Oakenfold yeah and and so I I I started having a stutter because I thought it was so cool isn't that interesting and then I got in trouble for it at school there cuz you were mocking they thought I was mocking them like I'm not mocking him like you don't understand I'm I think this is the neatest thing ever and I love the kid it was a nice kid named Doug and but they answer that like it when they said yo you can't do that right how's like I you just don't see that there's other ways to do exactly exactly and I get where they're coming from yeah they don't hurt the kid but they didn't see your point of view and you were had no maliciousness right I don't have any maliciousness right oh but it's yeah I don't know man but growing up in Louisiana was uh it was tough man I specially in my neighborhood I don't know you seemed kind of you had some whites and blacks and it was kind of severe really it was just kind of poor black and white but yeah kind of suburban he just kind of like not redneck yeah just kind of oh and I'm not judging the people it was just a blow poor environment sure sure yeah in Treme I came in a man up over there it was scary it was pretty scary like I'm all fidgety because of that [ __ ] in my house was robbed constantly and my duplex no he had a mansion Wow yeah my dad bought a mansion that was dilapidated on Esplanade Avenue right by the French Quarter and it used to be like we heard that Ignatius Reilly well I think if you really want to get into it my dad had a real bad childhood and he's like he always wanted to make some of himself he never really did so then he saw this mansion for cheap cheap cheap because the neighborhood sucked it didn't have plumbing was falling apart there's holes in the walls broken windows a mansion but it was a mansion and we also had this BMW when I was a kid had holes in the seats and was rusted out but it was a BMW you know and word rich something I call it oh yeah yeah yeah so uh yeah it was a horrible way to live because everybody thought we were rich we were the white family in the mansion and we moved in there like all these people got to have money so we got robbed constantly so my dad installed this alarm system and it would go where like go crazy at like 2:00 in the morning I was like eight gone well weird there's somebody in my living room right now like somebody below me is rifling through our [ __ ] and stealing our TV or whatever and you're like he could come up and rape me and have his way with me and blow me at all this and he'd put a nice negligee cup and doing my nails and all that [ __ ] so it was a skittish way to grow up like we'd come home a lot and the door was is open and very violating and just you never felt comfortable never cuz you're like we get robbed right now you know yeah yeah I can I can't imagine that level of it you know yeah like I think yeah I was like scared a lot but that's uh I don't know if we ever had that yeah coming home and being robbed and like just knowing somebody could be in your place I always was scared that somebody was in our place while I was going to bed at night yeah yeah that we have to look everywhere yes I have to open the closets and I would hook these like cables from one door to the next like they couldn't open one door because it would oh the door would stop it like just all this crazy level of checks and balances to just feel like okay yeah good yeah cool well here's a bad when we got robbed a bunch so we kept calling the cops and eventually they were like alright you guys keep calling us we're just going to take out in your kitchen overnight and maybe we'll catch a guy so these two cops plainclothes detectives came and we met them and it was all exciting that a daily belt gun and the badge on the belt thing you know the whole thing and I was like oh my god I couldn't sleep then I was so excited I hope they catch think I hope they beat the [ __ ] out of him and tase them and all this [ __ ] and I'm just laying in bed so excited I finally fall asleep I wake up at like 6:00 in the morning I run downstairs imagining that they're gonna have guys in a headlock and cuffed and put them in the car yeah and I run downstairs they stayed in the kitchen the whole night they ate everything they ate all the food so we got robbed again they had all the [ __ ] Cheerios and the the made pancakes cuz they got bored and they just ate everything everything was gone [ __ ] cops I know they took the radishes on the chicken bones and all that [ __ ] all the abandoned dude they're under fun I guess I guess I don't know that was part of the deal brutal brutal yeah New Orleans was tough man it's a tough town the scariest part was like the face to face crime like my bike got stolen many a time yeah and you know these are big you know black man yes yes you know they they puberty like for any you know I think it's like a SAM mustache going and all this and oh yeah thank you really yeah yeah kid named puberty Wilson had in our neighborhood and this dude I mean was Jack oh yeah he was born with a prison tattoo and right right exactly those weren't teardrops that was a tattoo it was a different environment yeah the racial environment down there was just it was just black people had nothing right right I mean nothing it was hard to realize that at the time yeah like now as I get older you see like oh okay these people had they didn't had that you know like there wasn't any black doctors right nothing not in that area that's for sure right so you didn't have of course it would have any role ma like it's gonna be very you know like the the chain of like um of pop like the level of poverty you get into not just fiscally but then beyond that where you get like emotional just having right right yeah like I would get my bike stolen I'd run home crying and I go mom they stole my bunch you go there they need it they did it I was like what are you crazy but now I kind of get it right but I will say as a white kid growing like the only white kid in that neighborhood you're the minority right you go outside the neighborhood you're back as a white Prive white you know but in that neighborhood EULA and it feels bad be in the minority sucks it's not like they can just go hey white boy and you're like ah which is not even a negative thing he's just I'm a boy who's white but it still hurt because I was different cuz you were different yeah so I kind of I I don't to say I relate to a lot of [ __ ] but you know I get a label you can own well you've had that experience where cuz that's the end that's the end thing right just the I'm different there's there's an easy way to make me feel different yeah you know I'm not wet yeah and then all the rest of it piles on exactly there's more women on earth than men but if one girl is at a party with 50 dudes she's gonna feel weird yeah you know so the minority is is it's fluid you know we just talk about minorities in majority and all that but it it changes depending on your environment yeah yeah it changes man and I think yeah I feel like there's a lot I feel like when I was growing up there was probably a good bit of and racism kind of felt both ways if you weren't a racist person if you didn't really like you know there were some people would probably hated black people yeah real adamant about it oh yeah you know adapted to like old like kind of you know uh I want to say red next episode cuz it's redneck people that aren't that way at all that's true but there was a lot of people who didn't and then if you interacted with black kids and they were mean again this you're like [ __ ] well what do I do like all right right I don't want to have any ill will but there's also these kids are mean to me yes yes and they probably didn't have anything else to do like right if you think everywhere you go it's like everybody has some but you right exact can't imagine what that few no I was hanging out with these two guys martinet and Toni they were like my two black friends and we were at the black mall because I slept at their house we went to their mall and the whole thing and we're playing at the arcade in the mall and one of my friends was doing well at Street Fighter and I was like yeah get up Toni kobata and these two bigger black guys behind me like puberty Wilson and testosterone Jones we're like they're like doing the white voice and oh I'd crushed me it cried like go in the bathroom he like all right take it easy that hurt you know just go back out there yeah my two friends were like don't worry about those guys they're idiots they're mean I was like yeah yeah but you because you're already the outsider and then you you're doing the white voice and they called me on it oh it's [ __ ] humiliating I turned beet red it was brutal it's hard it's hard being uh hard being white focus it ain't easy it's hard being so aware yes yes exactly sometimes that I hate the most about ignorance and I attribute a lot of it to you know I think that's kind of what my alcoholism is sometimes it's just this heightened level of awareness and sensitivity not just sensitive but hypersensitive yeah and you want to shut it down yeah they just want to starting with anything to like please just something make it so I just don't care anymore yes I don't care as much yeah because you had because you care to let this intense level of every constantly yeah that it's exhausted you yes yes and you have the couple drinks you're like ah enjoy myself for ten minutes yeah I'm with you like I like out for so long I heard recently someone said um life's not happening to you it's just life is just happening oh and I'd always never realized this wind of the world that I always felt like was pushing against me just this like life was happening to me yeah uh everything's but life's just happening right here and so then every now and then that helps me feel a little different like that got a question that came in here oh yes use me hey Mark APO mark it was really good to see you come through Springfield Missouri right before Christmas when you played the Blue Room hey it was a great show my wife and I had a blast thank you for the people of Springfield were good to you good a question as to both of you I know you guys both live on the coast and big cities I was wondering if you've ever considered moving away from LA in New York to maybe set up roots in the Midwest or the south to get away from that big-city life style gang gang gang bruh good question has you a question what do you think I fantasize when you bought a place I know like you made money I mean I mean you started making money I was jealous you when you got to open up framing Schumer because you were awesome money well that was a sweet sweet ride I mean the Jets and she would just hit that arena level so I was making good money and getting treated well and things I got I was pure luck and what we have an ice cream at night and never do it and she's a she's a big pot friend yeah so it was just like so much hotel room service and we had movies and big screen and the weed and the edibles and the anal and the [ __ ] great great time she's a she gets a bad rap but she's a giver yeah good egg you know good hang you know her yeah you know but I know people people have a problem with her but you know they don't know her I know her she's cool oh well I mean I think yeah she law I think she look for me I thought that and I would talk about Amy you know I talked on the phone maybe a couple weeks ago but I felt like she was starting to maybe want to even get more into politics I have no truth about this but this is a perception that I had right and she and whenever Hillary did in one knee like I think she was gonna not use Hillary use that vibe but she you know she was in that movement like yeah totally at it she wanted probably to try and get into politics then maybe I don't know yeah that politics is the I never touch it because it just splits the room and that's a bad idea and we're comics like right you look at Twitter now all the comics are just going like we need to change this and this is I'm activists now and this is that you're like what happened funny yeah I mean we are comics all right you can have your opinion but like let's make with the yucca muffs chuckles you know here sometimes I get so like worried about my own [ __ ] now in cold rooms that sometimes I forget though but I have to remind myself so no you can't [ __ ] go in here every day yeah puberty Wilson's coming out here like it's all in yeah you can't help but I felt like yeah that but um but I've always thought that she's one of the funniest people off of sage yeah yeah that even watching her comin without even taking that in the concert what I mean quick quick at the table like she's running circles around you're like damn I gotta step it up yeah and especially you like shoot I thought that I was quick or something inside I could do this but when you meet her it's like Prefontaine it's just yes Wow she's on some level that's a little beyond and cutting to like she can say that thing we're like oh I didn't know you knew that [ __ ] you got me there damn you know yeah fun stuff yeah like yeah just I'm I always say that she's her donnell rawlings two of the funniest people that oh really don't know he just makes me laugh I mean he's a killer act I've never really hung out with him he's just so he's funny oh yeah yeah but yeah man I thought was John's like man this guy's living it up dude have an ice-cream at night this dudes doing it yeah I was doing it and plus I was single then and like tinder was kind of new ish and so I had an arena of labias just like they can't bang her so I was getting the the you know placenta run off and I was I was hit and klitz like a speed bag it was exciting yeah yeah those are wild times yeah and yeah we're in the four seasons and shit's over a labia yeah yeah caught up yeah I remember a couple of places I caught up with you guys at I think that's right where but we would you knew we did Mahalia Jackson New Orleans and we went to what's-her-face his house after Jennifer Coolidge Coolidge's house you were newly sober and I'm er being like come on do this New Year's baby you're like I can't Betty I'm sorry I was like damn I lost the oh but it was for the best I get it yeah it was for something man yeah it was good see that's the dangerous thing is the problem with booze and xanax and coke and all that is it it feels right so you don't want to quit but the best thing to do is quit because you need it so bad that you got to not learn how to not need it you know you gotta if it feels so good so you're like oh them drinking is what I should be doing right now but that's exactly why you shouldn't be drinking you got to learn how to overcome it without it right it's a it's definitely a trick yes it's a trick it's a trick my my therapist I'm always like just give me some xanax give me a [ __ ] valium or whatever a prescription he's like let's beat it let's just try to beat the anxiety instead of just trying to like medicate it away yeah yeah oh sometimes I wish I had me as an her you know I'm what first time a guy gave me a soma this homosexual of a song gave me a soma man build this got Billy conforto and our IP passed away he was from Laplace uh I know the type and uh he was homosexual but also a prizefighter why yeah right but it could've been your babysitter did you know that's black guy oh no whoa okay white enough all right all right all white prizefighters always fun that's one for the for the home team but he gave me a soma dude and a half hour later I just turned to my cars on a highway and just took a straight-up [ __ ] right turn and we're lucky we're alive sometimes Louisiana livin was was heavy it is heavy these a lot of we stock because it's boat people are like yeah yeah that's right well [ __ ] up let's get in this boat yeah that's right surround my water and Gators and dose yeah ghosts who do out there it's no joke we had a kid this boy Andy and he uh he goes for chase him or something he was dealing with him and he end up taking his own life there you go they had a bunch of friends died of heroin Bunch friends I have methadone growing up bunch of drunk driving some of the best heroin recipes you've ever had oh yeah yeah Wow put some hot sausage in that air Owen yeah heavy dude put a little bug in Tony satton that need oh baby Lowell BAE you can't get that all that leaf wow yeah I would just went down back home to see my folks in a boy I really ate it up did you oh yeah are they pretty really proud of you know they must really have some a lot of pride you know it's weird is they don't really say much but then I talked to it like I'll meet one of their friends they're like your mom never shuts up about him like really should tell me no but I'll take it I'll take it yeah but I think we're just uh we're cold people the Normans yeah I try to break through I'm I'm a touchy-feely douche but uh there it's very they're military they're like you know stiff upper-lip kind of Wow yeah my dad this idea of a hug there's give you a tap on the shoulder and you're like oh [ __ ] thanks dad Wow what is it my birthday you know but it's not not a lot of yeah connecting yeah yeah that connection man it's wild yeah I'm learning that oh that's all new I'm 36 so I'm gonna die soon so I'm trying to like do it myself and push it on him and are you having sex and stuff now or what do you do I got a hot lady are you oh yeah I got a hot lady at the house in New York and yeah she's she's like a normal person I mean she's got everybody's got problems but she's like she met my parents and she's like whew that was tough like you meet my parents you feel like you're bombing yeah they're tough like you'll just say a whole thing and they'll go like the won't respond yeah I talked to dr. Drew about he said my mom has still face which is this like thing that moms have that makes babies cry and [ __ ] cuz they're not giving you any reaction Oh why'd you stand but I need a reaction yeah I need something yeah something I just need some some I need to know that things are okay yes yes and with them you have no idea where you're at what are you mad am i mad at what's going on do you hate me am i adopted where are we yeah so Wow that's some of the stuff that leads us to just to our behavior and what we do you know yeah that's the beautiful lady right there she is yes what's the name diamond where'd you get that house guest made it up she's [Music] diamond LaRue she's a real diamond though yeah and diamond in the rough oh that's awesome man good egg Cape Cod ladies for a while in New England they're well off on she well off not really you'd think right yeah haben cape huh yeah yeah yeah a lot of cod uh-huh Oh hate to interrupt you guys it's the only ad in this episode and I 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Theo it can be scheduling shipping it can be well I have these different drivers who are working for my my transport company how do I get them all on the same timeline and and make sure that they're not working at the exact same moments all types of ways all types of software all for your business that's right go to kaptara comm / CEO capt e RR a.com slash th EO kaptara software selection simplified and now back to the episode let's get another question that came in man alright wait let me get this before we do it what do you think how do you think it plays out with uh with re with everything that's happened because last night it said on that article that people they didn't have the show because they were afraid people called into the car club I heard they had to shut the show down and a lot of those calls dude look I've made calls like that that's nothing that nobody's really gonna show up yeah I actually called the club but yeah I don't live in a show-up world anymore we definitely live in a phone call world this is all gonna go I mean it's a it's a hot thing for this week and by Monday we won't even think about it agreed yeah agreed but do you so what do you think how do you think he comes through I know he put up a really nice message I mean his message was it was real true to who he was even at the end where he says [ __ ] the Lakers you know dude right yes yeah I did I liked it I mean obviously his publicist or manager made him do it because I know Ari and he's not this guy but he kind of made it his own and all that like when Shane Gillis had to put one of these out we all made fun of him because it was so publicist II you know like it didn't have him in it at all yeah and like he told us what he wanted to say and it was way funnier but uh yeah you got to do this [ __ ] I guess you know we're trying to have careers but I think it'll ultimately help him it just seals cements his brand right you are that villain you are that rabble rouser yeah you know and there's and and yeah it's okay to have that like yeah that's the thing it's like I just want I'm trying to think of a person that could compare him to in the past it's not like an Alfred Hitchcock but like you know someone who's just like mischievous like a Dennis the Menace II he's almost like a Bart sim you know like he's he's agitating he's poking you and [ __ ] and you're like alright alright but that's just who we get that's his shtick yeah you know it's and it works for him he sells out and I hang out with Ari we walk down the street Bakari yeah people people likeable people love him he's been on here and people really really enjoyed it I mean that's the thing he's yeah it's just who he is it just kind of felt it just was a really it's just like I'm almost like the Andrea Gail a bad chef right right of bad moments yes at once you know well we got weird priorities like Chris Brown beat the [ __ ] out of a lady and we've got a documentary out and people think he's hot and sexy and then I already made a joke and he's evil yeah like I think Chris Brown is worse than Ari but Chris Brown's doing the moonwalk somewhere right you know so we got weird we're all whacked out well team also and you I mean some of this I think TMZ uses a lot I mean it's definitely turned into more of like a WorldStarHipHop kind of yes it's gotten a lot more of like scandal yeah and a more you know urban black Oh an American whatever you want to say I think so oh really I think a lot of their stuff is these days and some of that I'm like are these are is this is TMZ just like using the black like is it creating this other this cycle of like interest behavior sometimes or contributing to a cycle of behavior influencing a cycle of behavior you know it's like not like I don't buy a lot of cultural appropriation [ __ ] but I do sometimes like I got some ones that show catfish I just feel like it takes advantage of like a little now to use the Internet oh I never thought about that or like kind of Monopoly you know yeah the wording is but like well I I just feel like TV and showbiz they just go where the money's at they go where the bread is buttered so if that's the way it goes like McDonald's for some reason went straight black people in the commercial you know used to be like McDonald's gonna make fish and it was like some fat white guy there's a white manager yeah yeah now it's like hey puberty get in here you know like yeah I don't really make rear backer and right yeah that hot apple pie is ready for you there Quincy but yeah I feel like you just kind of go oh that's that's who's buying the [ __ ] McDouble let's do that so I don't know I don't know about the taken advantage of maybe I never ever yeah baby maybe that's just some weird thing that it's probably some weird hang-up that I have you know that might not even be true but you're right there sometimes I think that Hollywood like leads us in a direction but the more I learned Hollywood just follows where the money yes they're clueless they don't know what I mean think about all the funny comedians you know who aren't doing that great yeah because we gotta have this hot guy - or whatever the [ __ ] you know this guy's yeah they're selling tickets so they don't care they're not they they pretend to like Pryor and Carl and but they don't give a [ __ ] right they just worry you know there's worried about who's making money and that's their job there were in suits their finance guys who say hey I like Ali Wong they just know the right thing I love Carmichael he's the coolest but they don't know yeah yeah yeah they don't know yeah it's it's so it's uh because sometimes I give them this bigger power right same same we look I look them in as please accept me yeah please give me a show I love you you're my dad you know you're just crazy because that's kind of one of the sought one of the side effects of coming out of like a you know the type of childhood you come out of it's tough to be a comedian is that then whenever you get to a place and somebody's offering you some you you're so please accept me yes and that like kind of goes over into the business sense yeah it's completely really cost you um yeah this can cost you ownership of things and you know it can really kind of have you selling out before you even know what's going on exactly just wants so badly to be accept accepted because think about it look at all it first is like you do it a couple of Mike some guys do my show Oh God except yeah then you get Montreal I got Montreal it's not even about Montreal you just want to be you want to be invited the party but you don't actually want to go you just want the invite yeah you know and that's the whole show but I got a special me everybody I got one you know just me me me I feel better I'm accepted I'm in the club yeah I'm okay I'm okay but the real okay is guys like Schultz who go blow me industry I'm doing this on the gram yeah and I'm if you go on any you know pitch meeting go I got this guy fashion who does this right by the camera there how's that gonna make any money what's the hook we need more diversity what are you doing then he's gonna be like a [ __ ] I'll do it on my own and people love it yeah so that's the thing they don't know but we act like they know that they have no idea we're the ones with talent right they stink yeah we forget that sometimes yeah they got nothing they just go where the heat is yeah yeah it's interesting man I like hearing that dude let's get a question that came in right here that Nick's got before we get to the question I saw this was interesting we've talked about doctah bounty hunter a couple times on this show he recently got in engaged to one of best friends or he proposed yikes I didn't see it can we play the video yeah I heard about this he just followed me the other day on no Instagram oh that's excited so excited actually everybody tweet dog and tell him we want him on this past week sweet him and Instagram him send him messages that would be huge I would love to have him man oh yeah it really relates him in a lot of ways he feels like a genuine dude [Music] he's right now remain sure will you marry me oh that's good TV a couple who see any lovin you old bro oh I know that guy works at the gas station by my house we're not even joking the second guy's a real girl yeah looks like DJ Khaled did but also another one go back a little more Nick right there oh yeah he does he looks like a bad job yeah he does dude yeah job job yeah it looks like yeah it looks like DJ needs a salad that's how he looks like but it says in the article they had been dating for weeks and it was pissing off the daughters but at the end it says he never actually gave her the ring and then evidently there is no engagement but it's still a little messy situation there she is and they're in the wedding photo with Beth you can see she's the number 2 number 2 best best best bridesmaid maybe it should've Honor he needs like I need some help you know I got a mourning my wife here and this is the closest thing and maybe it's just like a psychological move he really loved that woman I mean it must really be in love to be working with someone have a grenade I mean the grenade they had everything yeah it's constantly working with somebody I mean that was his life partner right there and working in like tents like boot camp and via got people in a headlock and she's holding their legs and he's kicking like that'll really bond a couple of weirdos yeah and he's sober I think to hiepro I think he does a lot of recovery stuff oh yeah he does a lot of stuff like supporting the military yeah he seems like a good egg yeah man I I could imagine look especially you're getting older you've like sometimes you have a wife you have a girlfriend and there's somebody else that you care about it's like that kind of stuff never it may dissipate because obviously you have to focus on your marriage and stuff yeah maybe he just cared about this lady for a long time and wanting to go yeah I'm sure he needs somebody right now and he probably doesn't know a lot of people he's an odd dude so I'm sure he's got like a community he kind of hangs with so boom I'll just go to the next lady I'm not saying it's right I'm just saying yeah I mean it makes perfect sense yes yes if she's friends with Beth then she's probably got similar personality he feels some comfort in her yeah well said may and I uh yeah I don't know it'd be nice to have him on I can't imagine losing like your spouse but then I think some guys they lose they luckily lose their wife and like oh look out yeah well there's also guys who go too far and they go throw a little left what do you call that stuff arsenic not ours leander antifreeze Villani freeze in the in the oatmeal and to freeze Annie yeah and it'll be a ice cold in a minute what else we got Nick oh here's me that was like you and Joe list [ __ ] yeah looks like me and Mike Kaplan yeah yeah hey guys this questions for mark mark I always see on Instagram you riding around on the that moped of yours through the streets of New York I was wondering if are you known as like the moped master you have any good stories to share kangay yeah burn up a pic of that there Nick it's on my instant bring up that ped you gotta see this hog of mine it's a [ __ ] beauty oh no she's nice oh that's sorry this is your friend Nikki she's a pig hold on where's there it is look at that thing come on right through New York on that yeah that thing's badass it's it's 86 miles of the gallon it's light it's easy it goes about 33 miles an hour top speed I'm in the bike lane I'm in the regular lane I'm all over the road in that thing I get in spot to spot that's legal oh yeah I mean I got a toad once and I had to register it and all that and I gotta buy a helmet oh yeah but it's a it's a real fun piece huh that was a fun little journey when I got towed you would listen I I yeah and your story yeah yeah he documented going to get it and stuff hey that's beautiful man right cost about half the bike cost and it took me like a week and a half but I got it out and what are the cons of having that in New York City a lot of cons that's the thing a you gotta lock it up and people want to steal it people want it my neighbor's hate it because it's on the sidewalk and I got a cover on it and like it's so ugly so they're giving me dirty looks the winner you can't ride it so she's got to sit there and get snowed on and [ __ ] it doesn't start all sometimes just doesn't start yeah so there's all kinds of problems with it but it's a gorilla huh oh yeah 1986 Aurelia I have Italian guys stop me going ahead words when I was a kid Oh my wife's a gun she can't cook in all this [ __ ] and I'm like a thank you [ __ ] but uh I get a lot of that so that's a it's a rare bike apparently go in Craigslist I just happen to find a fun one God man yeah it looks so amazing now out here do you think it would be better to have maybe but this is so sprawling I can't get on the 405 with that Chooch that would be terrifying it'd be epic if you did as well yeah I pull a Dean Delray and flip over a car hood yeah beautiful you got have you been in some pretty bad accidents not one yet not one hmm so when you think about when you think about like doing like another special or something I just shot one last night you did yeah we'll see I mean I just did on my own because I it Oh awesome so we'll see what happens I know you think so I guess you'll try and sell it and then if not maybe we'll put the clips out exactly yeah that's awesome so where we're at now I've been doing the hour for a while now and it's getting embarrassing you need to go back to San Francisco like we saw this last year yeah so I'm like I got to drop it and write new [ __ ] but nobody wants it I kept waiting for someone to buy it but nobody would give me an offer so I said [ __ ] we'll shoot it that's crazy yeah yeah well it's a weird times you know yeah where'd you do it dynasty typewriter we sold out two shows we said [ __ ] it it's a theater it'll look good Sandler did his there oh wow yeah so that's the new club that's downtown Los Angeles yeah yeah right Sam's Club yes the Haworth is the name of the theater and really cool really sweet cute little theater and it went great we got two shows out of it and it's in the can right now I gotta edit it oh here we go here's the guy right here hey what's up Theo what's up mark my name is Nick I'm coming at you from Aurora Illinois the snowy Midwest here it's really freezing right now but I had a question for the both of you actually Thea you talked a lot about on your show and you have a lot of listeners calling about like anxiety and how to deal with in stuff and my question for both of you was how do you guys deal with the anxieties that you may or may not have but continue to still do your work and killing mark I've seen you perform here in Chicago and and you're amazing I watch all your guys's YouTube videos and I'm a huge fan and so I'm just curious how you guys can keep it consistent and still continue to do so well in your field I don't want to be a comedian myself but how do I apply that to what I want to do and who I want to be so that's my question I hope you guys have a great day gang game game bro what a sweet message huh sexy hair I wish I had those locks I mean he's doing fine if you ask me yeah he looks like Thor I don't bang anxiety if I had that dude Who am I gonna bang yeah he's got a reverse widow's to look at that thing it's going the other way Oh beautiful man great looking eyeballs and a sexy Lorenzo lawmen half of the women that I've dated yeah yeah no doubt about it those eyebrows I leap on them dude I want to [ __ ] a night in Casablanca huh oh yeah oh he's hot my god dude any more information about this guy yes his address god I don't want to condition this guy's hair with my [ __ ] body sweat no I want Superman on top of me dude I want a [ __ ] man I was gonna lay in his arms and say Clark can't you no no Clark can yeah okay this has got nothing sorry sorry it's a good question man about anxiety yeah yeah it's tough but I I go the other way cuz he's like how do you deal with anxiety I think you got a the more you do the less anxiety you have yeah so if you get over that hump of fear and doubt then the anxiety kind of goes away like I get scared to do stand-up well that's why I do it right and then you get up there and it goes away so once you just do it if you think about it how am I gonna do it how's it gonna go that's when the anxiety kicks in just do the [ __ ] thing go do the open mic go ask the girl out go do whatever oh it's so true and then the interesting thing for me is I may even hear you talk about that that anxiety if not that when I don't do something and I just have the anxiety then it turns into a little bit of shame for me yeah oh dude the guilt yeah I totally have had you know a shame or a guilt but yeah you're so right it's like geez guys helping black kids in Africa oh it's beautiful or South America Jesus who is this hunk yeah you got nothing to be anxious about man Nick manifesto Nick this guy menace yo man Nessie oh this Nicholas Menace co-state he looks Greek on it might be great man yeah he's like it looks like an eagle Montoya prepared a you get in the light man Wow dude I think if you show your Instagram to a woman you have nothing to be anxious about but it just goes to show you man this guy can look like a Greek god and a demigod probably and you're inside you're all [ __ ] up yeah so then what is it called but that's right there you're right though I think it's just that contrary action you know and that's something that they talk about in a 12-step stuff a lot it's just like yeah it's thinking about things laying in bed when you wake up laying in bed worst thing you can do because it's just this isolation isolation grows on itself you know you think like oh I'm scared to be around people and then you think that you're by yourself for a couple days and then you are then you are scared exactly exactly yeah just go out and actually take some action yes contrary action it's like I don't want to go for a run I'll go for a run right now yeah I don't want somebody invited me to the movie I don't want to go I'm gonna go even though I don't want to yes yes and then that that uncomfort starts to go away dissipate and usually you go oh this movie is great I'm so glad I came yeah this wasn't so bad yeah but if you don't go you're gonna really hate yourself yep and then it gets easier over time you don't have as much of that anxiety yeah this it's not we we work anxiety I think it's just this we're supposed to be like in motion and I think some of it is just this stagnating this coldest sacking of us being doing stuff and connecting with each other that energy had been alive for so long and now it just has no place to go right right I think kind of were wired as humans if evolutionarily you farm you get up you fight a bear you have you [ __ ] your wife you raise your kids your farm you kill a bear you know we have to survive we don't have to do that we got uber eats we got the granola bars yeah so it's still in us so I think that's why we're more anxious than ever yeah you know because used to just go to a factory you go home you crack a beer you watch the football game you go to bed you go to the factory you don't have to do that [ __ ] even we're doing a pod this is we're working right this is work and then we're gonna go to the comedy store and that's work yeah you know so we don't have any struggle you haven't have any struggle we don't have a lot of a ton of human interaction that yeah yeah but also there's a guy recently he's talking to me about that we don't touch the earth as much as we oh oh that's good no this energy of like the energy is supposed to usually come in and out of the ground and into our bodies and like that's good it doesn't happen that much Whitney and our podcast talked about this practice that's getting popular because of that called grounding and it's just going barefoot and walking in the dirt and going on hikes but barefoot because that whole thing I mean the moped what you know everything my body's like what are you doing what do you do you have a midlife crisis why are you buying this what do you think you're a cool dude and I get on that thing and it's visceral I got the wind in my hair I can feel the throttle I can feel the engine heating up and my [ __ ] and everything in the bumps and I'm Michael it's poppin' and it's just great and I'm leaving outside of cars it's nerve-racking and I get to the spot and I kind of go whoa I gotta take a minute that was wild yeah you know I'm going down Broadway in the best city in the world and it's great the lights are going by me I got a Chinese guy you know passing me up I give him a honk he doesn't wave back yeah and it's crazy and then I just get there I'm like well I would have been on the subway with earbuds in just sitting there looking at some hobo you know like it you got to get up and get out and do something that's why I like woodworking is good or like that's why these guys who Tough Mudder and [ __ ] tough mudders just like I got a I got this body full of muscles and organs I gotta use it yeah you know I gotta push myself you get out of try you got a try cuz it's easy to not try it's so easy Jesus is here you know we're creating them yeah we've definitely created Society in America where it's easy it's like yeah just discomfort yeah everything's turning it into a couch exactly and then boy when VR gets in here it's over we're gonna just VR a set and we go alright I killed I'd have to leave the house you know yeah people buy tickets and watch you on in the virtual reality exactly and that'll be it you're not gonna meet any women you're gonna [ __ ] VR women and it's gonna be over you'll just be basically a passageway that food goes through yes yes you're just [ __ ] and eating [ __ ] and eating it's gonna be crazy man yeah I mean look at what people can account Leigh watch an MMA fight you're like that's unbelievable that two guys can do that or two women can do that yeah I could never do that but the human body is capable of such you see a guy on a snowboard do 80 flips and land you're like I'm eating Cheetos and fingering myself yeah dude yeah and not even washing my hands between now my [ __ ] is yellow and orange I got all the dust on I remember Chester cheeto of course I do um I saw Kelvin Gastelum last night at the store I saw in your Instagram the fighter yeah he's really on yeah one of the fighters EF fighter of the eye and I got to be at that fight I'd only been in one fight Joe of Joe Rogan took me to a fight one time and dude it was the craziest fight I was with you you were there Atlanta yeah yeah I remember we walked into his cheeto me and you and we walked to the arena and everybody went nuts for you oh do you remember that and then I think Poirier was yep or yeah yeah you were there I remember Andrew was there I feel so bad we hung out all day at the four seasons and I remember after he won you guys like hugs I was like whoa do is big Oh blue my mind yeah it made me feel excited that's pretty exciting handle it very well oh [ __ ] hey how you doing you know but you you you look cool oh cool man thanks yeah dude that's the first time I saw those guys just go through it so much yeah and just walk through that tunnel with Rogan let you know that oh yeah that really with a button-down on you're like what the [ __ ] and he just sits down puts the headphones on he's like heat I don't want to laugh he cracked him in the jaw like whoa where am I it was sweat and AIDS is on you and [ __ ] and Cheetos looking at a hot chick it was a wild day that was a hell of a day that's crazy I feel so bad that I forgot the do you remember now is it coming back got it all damn I gotta make some I gotta say the n-word or something it could stand out a little oh yeah if you two roading down the n-word on his favorite past it - well I remember that I'll be doing that after the show tell you that who's the sober one between you I have four beers in me that night I remember I had a big gulp the whole time a beer I was probably nervous something about that old environment made me nervous oh I get it I got me got Rogan we're in a [ __ ] SUV with Rogan remember that that was terrifying were you really there you just messing with me I was there remember you came in with a teen shopping bags member you were like I went shopping and we chatted for like an hour and then they came downstairs then we all went together oh yeah we sat next to each other at the fight that was elbowing you and I remember I said some things you really hate take it easy man I was being too offensive I think oh yeah yeah yeah exactly I was making bad jokes at the fighters like come on you [ __ ] that's all you got your mom's a [ __ ] you know I was just trying to get into it and you were like shut the [ __ ] up China I went for yay I was I wasn't there and I remember Santino had to leave early because he had a show in Atlanta that night leave early yeah I left early missed all the good [ __ ] yeah I saw Korea but I missed that asagna yeah man that was such yeah buddy yeah it was just wild to see that guy last night I think he's one of the best of all time I think he's like a special fighter he's different who honest on you yeah oh yeah I didn't see him I mean just gasps a limb but yeah honest I mean that fight was just crazy watching those two men hit each other forever oh yeah God wow man that was like the best day of my life and to you that was a blip in there in your mullet lifestyle yeah nobody ever leave early we're all like damn he has to leave early to go suck you read all the skulls go yeah and it was brew dogs I don't to leave I'd rather watch this [ __ ] fight and go to the show but it was fun it sold out good time I would try to get us tickets to another fight man and you know go that's do it that'd be awesome well fairly we really bonded to on that couch Jase I gotta be more memorable no I just probably just I was probably thinking about myself sure who is this couple of whites right here what is this Segura and Rickles who's that no I think that's Segura yeah who does that look like who's that guy Ebert maybe an old Shoob who's the guy the store opens it up alan arkin no what's that guys no yeah our Marcus Hamilton Argus Hamilton yeah right good on him named after obviously a couple of slaves let's be honest oh yeah oh yeah yeah good play what's up Theo and gang the sub dark we're a couple of Tuesday's all right I know about your best night and your worst night performing comedy mmm I got that for you thank you cute couple right there yeah thank you guys yeah you want to start Oh Oh tears man all right well I've had a lot of great nights I've had a lot of bad nights it's hard to pick the top but I did the the what is that what's the arena here staples no no no forum I did the forum once and that was pretty unbelievers Schumer I don't know what is that 30,000 people or whatever the [ __ ] it is Lee 20 22 maybe 22 yeah it was unreal and it's in a circle and just rocked it and it just everything clicked I did the Patrice O'Neal benefit and that was a good one with Bill burr invited me which was like such an honor and that just clicked I had a gun I went third which is like the best spot in this show and just kicked kicked it right in the teeth and it just you know when your timing is it the laughs and then you then the lad just worked um and bill said some nice things after so that was great but the worst probably two months ago during Christmas I did a good bunch of corporate gigs do you do corporates I just did one this week actually oh nice they're pretty they're pretty different yeah they're not really stand-up you just kind of like trying to keep these people happy and get your paycheck and get out of there yeah you don't want to get any HR issues yeah yes and I that's exactly what I did I had to host a pharmaceutical award show big hotel ballroom you know like white tablecloths fine china tuxedos chandeliers and I'm host I got note cards like a stack that's high of like next up best sleep aid here the nominees like I was that guy I had a podium and everything and I had to study it and the paycheck was insane they picked me up in a limo drove me out to Philadelphia I get there I'm supposed to do 15 minutes of they end up to open just to like get them loose and then go into the award shows clean but they knew my stuff they watched all my YouTube and they're like we like your edge and all that [ __ ] so just do you so I just play it safe I did the sign I open for Seinfeld and I did the Seinfeld set which you know nothing cleaner than Seinfeld yeah so I go up and out of the gate bom-bom-bom every joke and I'm like girl let me pull out some heavy-hitter these always work bomb foolproof bomb so I'm like maybe I'll get a little dirtier that's how I get them I go I do a vibrator joke I study I see a table of women get up and leave in like a huff and I go that's not good so I comment on them dry women huh yo yeah yeah these women were not into it and so I am I get off to like I bring these people up to like give a little speech about some kind of [ __ ] drugs they're selling and I get off and the CEO of the whole thing is yelling at me and he's like how could you say that about my wife and I'm like I don't even know your wife is and he's like my wife is offended get the hell out of here you're fired you're done that was like wait what what are you talkin a tuxedo I rent the tux from Joseph a banks so I'm like what so I go up to like the curator lady and she's like she's crying as he yelled at her first and he's like she's like you gotta go you gotta go we're gonna find someone else to host it the whole that's three more hours in the show and I just had to get in a car and go back to Philly no I mean go back to New York brutal I studied and all this [ __ ] it was like a fine lobster steak dinner and it was like so high-end and this was a big production with like a you know a sound booth guy and the lighting guy and the waiters all this [ __ ] and I just had to leave over a joke she thought it was offensive to women but the joke is so blah it's like so innocuous but what's the joke the joke is uh my girl use a vibrator and you I say I feel like I uh I feel like I'm obsolete now cuz the vibrant is better than me I feel like this she's at CVS I'm an employee there and she's using the self-checkout you know and I'm like hey if you need a hand I'm your man you know like I feel like I'm losing my job now I'm like these robots are taking our job blah blah blah and I'm the loser in the joke yeah you know I she's the vibrator is better but she took that as some of he's probably gotten laid since 88 yeah taken out me she's repressed she's gay I don't know what's going on so I got I got the the old boot yeah brutal but I got paid oh you did you pay I got paid a good agent good agent yeah and it wasn't my fault like I did the the material that did on Conan you know so it's TV [ __ ] yeah that doesn't sound good lady had some kind of issue maybe she was having used a vibrator a lot and things weren't going well or something I think something was up yeah she want to get railed by a puberty Wilson or something was going on and everybody in that crowd is probably on opioids yeah they're [ __ ] drug dealers lectured me about morality and [ __ ] like you guys sell pills oxy cotton to people they get hooked and in Boston and then they do heroin kill themselves like I'm the bad guy telling zingers yeah you're [ __ ] you're trying to get sohma's into Lunchables yeah great that's what I'm saying what the priorities we're all out of whack you know something for some reason jokes really hit people like hit a nerve with people I don't know what it is but like I noticed that we booked I noticed sometimes things will get me edges like I'm like oh um like I'm reacting to things like I am becoming part of the problem that I even Skol I think we're all human right I noticed this sometimes I'm like though like damn this thing really has me like bent this is somebody's tweeters I really do it like what's going on here right right like the white male straight white male blah blah and you're like that's about me yeah just like yeah I don't know sometimes I found myself getting like trigger by [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah what happens it happens but you go alright I'm triggered and you're not gonna go get somebody fired right you would never do that now you would go [ __ ] why did that bother and you gotta sit with it a little bit maybe but just to have that gut reaction to just like ruin this guy [ __ ] you you made me feel weird for one second you're done yeah that's a crazy instinct well we've given thing that's going on is there's something that's making us why do we feel weird like why like the feeling of us feeling weird about something has been magnified so yeah it used to be like somebody told a joke it made me if maybe maybe we feel a certain type of way or something a little bit that was very small I was more focused on how is this gonna make me laugh yeah just even sometimes I would pretend a lie yeah of course just to eat just to enjoy myself yes yes now there's this whatever the muscle or the react the reactor inside of us that wants to wants to be upset yeah that thing is stronger now yeah yeah that's true you're right that's a good point it's just it's become stronger I think because the more comfort you have the less tough skin you have maybe like we were so used to comfort that when you feel a little bit of discomfort you're like oh this is weird I gotta put it I gotta shut this down and I think people like cancelling and like being morally superior on Twitter and just shouting out a guy I think makes you feel good also it gives you a little power like I got that guy kicked off SNL how cool am i I'm great teas races I'm great yeah I saw an interesting thing I don't want to say any names but I was at the comedy [ __ ] Rivers I said a comedy club in New York and we're all talking hanging out this lady was there she's an LA comic and Shane Gilles walked up and he goes hey yeah she goes hey I'm will say Leslie and he goes yeah I know you are you [ __ ] on me on Twitter after the whole thing breaker no no and he goes she goes I did who are you she don't you know who he was and he goes I'm Shane Gillis and she said oh really wow you know I never ah I was just you know going with the flow everybody was [ __ ] on you I just jumped on the bandwagon like I never put it together now that we're face-to-face it's weird and he was like yeah again it's cool and that was it but it was cool seeing it in real life right not just you know screens right so that was fun because we the screens can make you do anything you got no remorse yeah you suck kill yourself you know and then they do it you got [ __ ] that's real it's the same thing in you know what that goes it's the same thing with pornography it's like yes yeah of course way yeah if that were a real person you wouldn't be behaving that way because you have a wife or you have a garage right because it's on this screen it makes it its distant right its distant but it still has this residual effect and then the effect that you see in the world from that like it's so funny when that when people were ripping on re the other day when it first happened you know getting an re Shaffir and cancel em and then the funniest part to me was people calling him a white supremacist that's the go-to now all right I think sometimes he's kind of a Jewish supremacist I think I'm sure all new Act you know yeah it's always would be a good name for it yeah that's what Judaism in in itself is supreme' they call themselves the chosen one yeah well you think you're better than me you [ __ ] Jew yeah I thought the chosen one was Carmelo Anthony yeah ain't no he also thought the first time were Carmelo Anthony is it well I thought it was a candy dude and I was like a blue caramel oh oh did he not have a bar I know that sounds great I'd have two of them yeah it made me uh but I started he guy was like oh yeah people are pissed at Ari man he fought and I just noticed my brain starting to go down this little yeah what happens it happens he really [ __ ] up you know what's going like it's the mob and tell with the torches and you go oh we're burning this lady let's burn her yeah don't burn me from there you had to be there and do that's true that's true now you got you know Larry ruckus sitting on his couch he worked ever and he's like you know he has twenty forty thousand tweets right if you have over eleven thousand tweets dude I should give you an amount per year yes there you go you really want to use one on this this little situation I'm her one time in high school I was hanging out my friend he's like my he didn't go to my high school we went to his football game yeah and I'm sit in the stands and you start rooting that's not my school I don't give a [ __ ] I don't care what happens to these kids will you start rooting and it's the same thing it's you want to be a part of something yeah you know you get on Twitter you know my whole thing with like the re stuff and all this can't like I just don't care like who gives a [ __ ] yeah I already said something crazy all right so what go go buy your groceries go jerk off go hug your kids right who has that much who has too much time to care yeah I like thinking about it like it's interesting to think about why it happened what sure what's going on like if there was something in his head if he thought before like but you're already a step ahead if you're sitting back and thinking not everybody's just going off just gut like primal monkey [ __ ] you're thinking about it it's this weird thing that we want to be yeah you're right I want to find a way how do I be better than this person yeah why does this bother people why did he do it what's he trying to get out of it like that's already you're you're better off your mind is a little more open it's interesting try to keep it open again it can get closed pretty quick but yeah well it's easy to go gut it's so easy yeah and we always go the easy road you know I had a tweet that had to pull down and thankfully I did I mean some lady I said Lakers and nicker and Knicks you know on the television the other day and they thought she said the n-word do you see that yeah so right after I was like people started sharing that so I took the some guys like can you believe this lady said this she needs to be ruined right or whatever and I was like I had a tweet it was like so what you know no matter how many times she says that are something is not gonna bring him back you know and kind of like edgy funny you know heavy stuff from the feed but immediately let me make sure that's exactly what I said so what it's not it still won't bring him back yeah like that was this ridiculous idea sure that if you said the n-word enough who would bring somebody back from the dead right right you hear the lady say it yeah let's do it million five views it did sound like it really good oh I think that they adjusted the audio in that one it is a little bit of pause yeah there's a bit of a hitch of the video right see what's crazy is so 1.5 million people if they did adjust that audio you have no idea and then they and now 1.5 million people think that the lady said that and is she fired or what happened I don't think so she did an apology Chris D'Elia had a good tweet I think yesterday or this morning earlier today while reporting D'Elia has good takes on like just reality yeah because we get all worked up and [ __ ] and then he's like he just kind of cuts to the this is dumb and you know it and this is why yeah he's like anybody yeah imagine thinking she actually was so secretly racist and you just want to virtues signal you feeling guilty about your own racism want people to think you're not a racist right I think there's some truth to that agreed 100% like you know you make a joke about watermelon so my goes hey that's racist you're like I don't even mention black people you went there yeah what's your brain doing yeah some of that stuff's ridiculous and that's where I think sometimes Hollywood gets all cornered up because they've shut themselves as painted themselves into this incapable space to be human yes well said so true and that's why I come out of the gate going I'm a piece of [ __ ] I suck I'm a degenerate I like blow and [ __ ] you know because I I don't want to fall into that world it's funny though cuz it's true yeah like it feels like those guys in Hollywood are all on a reality show and you said [ __ ] so now you're you're out the house you got eliminated you're done like louis c.k got eliminated you know you're like ah just eliminate me now like I don't want to play I don't want to be in the house yeah I just want to do blow yes [ __ ] in the yard on there right right and I'm not a bad guy and I have no homophobic daughter I don't even give a [ __ ] but but I've noticed that the ballbusting because New York has gotten kind of so woky and everything that the ballbusting is gone LA it used to be like tough crowd patrisse Colin Quinn DePalo Norton Keith Robinson that those days are over you know the Paulo's gone wacky political Colin Quinn's gone one-man show whatever but like the ball busting now is you guys you and D'Elia and Swardson and Shaab and Callen and those guys are all making fun of each other and it's it's nice to see it again it's all gone LA somehow yeah I do notice sometimes like yeah it is uh like it specially on King in this thing is it's a fun place where we can like just rip each other yeah I know and we have all selfie we have other people like we have a little bit of diversity on there so it's like a fun place where we can talk about you know joke about race and write like I'm growing up do it I remember if you said the n-word that's how if somebody beat your ass that's how you knew if you could say it or not right right yeah that's how you knew yeah but it was a lot of intent to like not intent but you could feel oh the heat behind it you know like I said this on Rogen but in my neighborhood you could feel it if it's the same words like [ __ ] you white boy and then yeah [ __ ] you white boy it's the same words but it was a way different feeling like if I was on a basketball court and I heard the first one I was like I'm out of here right here the second one and I'm get a guy in a headlock and noogie him right off vitriol noogie please yeah trio whoo Johnson one of them has yeah it's good if I was like Michaels some of the craziest names oh yeah growing up oh yeah but now I'm like dude some like you gotta have a unique name and a lot of his freakin dope you know yeah of course you stand out but now hongki's have gone like Gwyneth Paltrow's got a kid named Apple yeah so we have our own white version of weird they got like de quante or whatever the [ __ ] and we got like lighthouse I think it's Jason Lee's kid his named lighthouse that's insane give that a give that a goog there will you NIC lighthouse if they did lighthouse for the blind I would love it also how risky to put a light you'd leading the blind right next to the program water bro Yeah right damn that was GPS back in it every time I see that Adam like this is insane man how does this end you know right blind people you ever think about like they just got a deal with that we had a girl in here a blonde person what yeah really yes one of my most popular episodes I mean just talking about what it was like she said she can relate sometimes to computers because that's how her brain feels it's like the more it goes along certain paths and stuff yeah more it gets used and gets comfortable in that path and like knowing what's going on interesting how key like sound is to them yeah of course and how they can feel how other people are feeling a lot whoa are we talking about the actor Jason Lee I thought so he's got one name Casper one they call birdie oh maybe I had the wrong guy passwords pretty intense somebody's got a wacky name like light house or light fixture light beer I can't remember I might have lighthouse wrong it could be a ferry maybe you ever take that ferry over there from New Orleans over to the West Bank yeah sure Mardi Gras world that would go there yeah I used to take that with my dad all the time I love that Ferry was like a buck yeah that was good times yeah that thing was good never accosted a dollar to get into New Orleans from the West Bank every day those my friends are to pay a buck to get into the city they got rid of that but that was weird as a kid like damn that's kind of shitty to the wankers yeah it really is kind of yeah got a pain to get in here yeah you have to come over there to work and you also got a pen yeah because it was like that come from and Aviles I get it pay yeah uh oh really it was a dollar and then was a dollar fifty on each side Danny then eventually it was just three dollars in one way Dan so the other way you did enough to stop eating paid three dollars up top longest bridge in America yep I think it was the longest bridge in the world for a while and then Japanese built one longer I got caught on that bridge about to get murdered mm-hmm I don't have you heard about this but we were stopped on the causeway because I we were getting chased by this guy who was trying to kill us me and a couple high school friends and there was an accident on the causeway so it was gridlocked so the car had to park and we're like [ __ ] and he got out he was like shaking the car he was like a big buff guy and we were like three squirrely Catholic school kids and he had a knife he was like slicing the side of the car up and luckily the cops at the wreck saw it and like tased him and pulled him down and a cuffed him that's amazing it was wild but I was like going the cause but he won't follow us because it's too long but then there was a [ __ ] wreck that causeway man that was a whole nother world over there where you live I was like I don't know what goes on in Covington and Mandeville and all that [ __ ] that was a I didn't know what that was God just why I got what yeah I was just kind of suburban and then it just got a little bit weird the further you got out yeah well I went to LSU for a while a bunch of guys I live with we're from Mandeville and these were tough rambling dudes like they could fish and skinned of Fox and like you know fight and you know smoking weed would really be worthy one guy was in Gabe McCormack one guy was him Jared Smedley these were like like backyard right rough-and-tumble kind of guys yeah like cage any dudes yeah and I was glad I was friends with him because they were like tough dudes they saw him fistfight all the time oh wow yeah like that would headbutt a dude and they'd be wearing polo shirts and a woven belt and just knock a guy out of the football game like Dan they were like my size they weren't big guys or anything just braids they had a little bit of bravery huh yeah they would had they had like their own knives that knives in the room and you know make knives yeah yeah it was like prison II yeah you know yeah no weird scar on their head and [ __ ] good guys yeah yeah they knew how to make up out of a log and [ __ ] yeah be wrong yeah that P wrong man oh yeah they could catch a crab with their hand out of water and like they could pick up a rock and go all right the winds going that way like they knew it they were almost like a little Cherokee in their ass yeah it was interesting I think a lot of people have a little bit and they put a little chunk of mud under their tongue you know Pisces or not exactly exactly yeah and I came from the city so I was like I don't know what the [ __ ] this is you know but uh yeah cool cool guys LSU did you enjoy your time over there what was it like I did but I lived in a house with four guys and we had a hot tub and a beer pong table so I failed I fell out of three colleges and I eventually got into southeastern and I finished online hell yeah dude hey you're a lion I guess I guess so yeah yeah dude from hamon yeah it was a good school I liked it it's a good school man it's a nice little place of it I went over there to a pumpkin carving contest one time oh nice we drove over there practice for months dude yeah I got everything I just got to nervous and ate [ __ ] ah I just did Lafayette and they were like do was just here it was like the talk of the town oh yeah I did a that was a holiday no Doubletree Hotel Jason Leonard's got this show and it's killer it's like 300 plus seats great show and they were like Theo was just here and I was like I don't do it was fun oh that's cool yeah people ask about you all the time man come on they do they're always like oh yeah you and Marc normal are for the same place right you guys you probably one of the most requested people who have had to have on the podcast I'll take it I think people expect me because I'm from New Orleans to be like I come in on a gator and I got a [ __ ] three-cornered hat on and [ __ ] you know but yeah it was just a city yeah we ate weird food I guess and listened to zydeco and Mardi Gras and Mardi Gras that was the best two weeks of school what you did I mean st. Charles Avenue oh yes so much fun never seventh Street that's where all the kids hung out do drugs and get drunk and make out and finger girls and each other out by the bushes and all that [ __ ] and I remember making out with a girl who had cigarette breath and it was like so hot to me because she was so like adults yeah good times guy that's fun and you could drink outside there I got it I got knocked out on st. Charles one time dude I got knocked out on st. Charles but least circle oh [ __ ] what was it a tall blond hair dude like two like I mean 230 pounds yeah now I wish it was like a college guy just like a fat doughy you know chunky white guy you could have beat that guy try to beat him or not he snuck me as knees to say that's that's one thing I don't like that happens in Louisiana yeah yeah sneak [ __ ] that's the kind of [ __ ] that I did not like that happened a lot all the time yeah I was it was a weird story I mean a couple friends were hanging out drinking and these kids like older kids a little boy caught a spear and the spear was like a big one that was like a big ticket item and more nice yeah they were nice and you caught one of those like oh [ __ ] well done yeah and these older kids were like give me the [ __ ] spear Kenny was like no it's mine and we're like hey you leave the kid alone it's a spear what are you crazy like you're 18 19 20 what are you crazy and then who the [ __ ] are you so they start pushing us so we start pushing them and then one of my friends got pushed and this is like out of a movie the other guy squatted behind him like an ottoman he fell over oh so they start stomping on my Donati's yes I got hit and I go down and I remember see I'm laying on the sidewalk looking at my friend getting smushed by like a Doc Martin yeah you know and I was like this is bad so we lost pretty quick we had the one black friend who was swinging away but uh the cops came and broke it up and we're like alright well that was crazy we're all banged up and shipped we're like uh what are you gonna do give me another beer and then we go walk like a block and I'm talking to my girlfriend at the time and she goes I think I think that's one of those guys and I was like huh and I looked the wrong way and he was running this way running start hit me I went out and pissed myself Oh which is the most embarrassing thing I mean not only getting knocked out but urinating and you see done that so much as a child I guess I guess I got a weak dick stop piss stop or something I got no cork yeah and I went out and I was laying on like drooling and pissing on myself which is pretty embarrassing and I woke up like two minutes later and my girlfriend like get out of here like swinging her purse worse oh I'd rather look like you owe me the night girlfriend standing there saying get out of here brutal man yeah oh I was brutal man that's worse do cuz that ruins your Marty girl you know completely and I had a [ __ ] egg whap right here it was rough and yeah that was bad like have lunch with my mom the next day she's like what happened I was like I fell down the stairs I got hit by a doorknob brutal brutal it humbles you yeah it definitely makes you think about yeah like yeah you get it you get knocked around a couple times you get a little bit wiser yes say at a certain situation definitely don't ask questions don't run your mouth you can notice when things are just starting to yeah yeah oh yeah you can fit a spidey sense is tingling and I saw been those [ __ ] Baton Rouge guys were daint they would kick you in the face yeah like at a bar and [ __ ] like in the parking lot there the fights out there well why I've got more risque yeah there ton of fights at LSU man oh yeah I remember being in a parking lot one time and somebody threw a beer bottle and went right by my head I was like it's nobody I didn't know anybody was like somebody's it's cray you know I'm just not I have aspirations um dude yeah I remember one time we're walking down the street in this big white dude I think he was on steroids and he walked past us and was me and a couple of my buddies and he goes oh he turned rise like when y'all called me the n-word and we're lying no way dude I'm not blind yeah bloody crazy yeah bro he [ __ ] decks one of my buddies right oh [ __ ] yeah they had like a piece of just a piece of like I was like a not a 2x4 but like it may be a 1x2 or something like a really thick dowel rod right there just leaning on this phantoms Mardi Gras somebody made a sign and left it I just picked it up and just snap this guy with it really yeah he hit me he had my buddy that didn't knock him down here who is this n-word this white Edward is a beast bro it did not know this guy was huge man something like he was just unbeatable you know yeah it was like the first time you get to like this super like them like the balls are yeah like oh I don't know where he jumps right yeah I gotta play it a few times to get his rhythm yeah yeah you know this cows and some girls pull up the only girls we even knew they we had any chance with their Mardi Gras pull up and the like and for some reason I kind of like falling off to the side of the fight and like hey what do you guys do and it was like like all this guy was it look like we're doing no joke the girl goes okay well we're just gonna find a place to park for parking I like that gal she's not fazed by [ __ ] so maybe like crack me right in the middle of the head and just horrible big red well yeah yeah and I got some ass out of a thing and tried to fake that a Schwinn Oh smart smart move you should have gone full Muslim just to put that dot down there Wow he got you right here oh man he got me right there man and yeah it definitely kind of woke me up like it shook my head a little sure it almost made me feel pretty cool yeah you get a rush and you feel alive yeah yeah like oh right oh man I can get knocked out yeah it's very primal you know like we grew up and I grew up when we evolved fighting yeah and so it's something in yeah yeah you picked that stick up pretty quick yeah you weren't like should I pick up the stick you just went for it yeah it was fun hitting him too right in the neck I bet I can't believe that didn't knock him out Oh knocking down at least no not this guy yeah I heard him about 40 times for me to go down Wow it was right here was the worst part right when I picked it up I realized it wasn't that strong it was like I wished it was like limbs II wasn't that sturdy yeah that's it was almost like slapping somebody with a piece of wood you got a guy like a paint stirrer that sucks he just made a man right they started blinking like on the screen good right right you needed a flower to fireball damn what else did we cover everything Nick you got anything any questions uh all the good ones you the other ones you kind of answered in within conversation oh all right all right hope we weren't too serious hope there was some meet some yuxin all right yeah I thought it was fun man it just also just nice to get to chat we never really got to sit on a chat that much it's the beauty of pods man it brings people together like I have friends who I don't see unless we podcast it's kind of sad but we're working we're always busy yeah what's it like at the cellar these days over there it's different it's definitely more you know diverse and like spread out and no one calls anybody on [ __ ] which I think like I'm all for diversity and I'm all for our new people and hanging out and different voices but it was a it was a better place when you were more honest now it's like well this is a gay trance or whatever so I'm not gonna push it right you know but he might have a hacky joke that I heard before but I'm like I don't want to just ruffle any feathers cuz I don't wanna seem like I'm this guy right so I think is worse that's not progress right I thought about treat everybody equally but we're so nervous about stepping on toes and being called phobic this and that so like that part's weird man yeah that seems like a really tough environment yeah like back and a Patrice would go what the [ __ ] is that hat you know and you can't do that now he's like I don't know if that hats a [ __ ] garb or yeah that's like a service hat right right right now I'm classist or some [ __ ] so yeah it's it's different you got to watch your P's and Q's where before it was like you just kind of shot from the hip which I think there's some goodness to that you know yeah you don't a football coach who's going hey yeah everything was great now you got a guy go hey you [ __ ] that up do that again get down on four knees and this and that take a knee whatever but yeah so we're missing that part but it's still a great club yeah oh yeah man that place is legendary have you worked there ever yeah Schumer and Neal Brennan helped me get past there nice all right it's I mean it's a tight comedy box laughs Oh nurse even when I went back there last time look like maybe four months ago up a street I don't even go perform I just went by to say and I was just like so nervous just see ya and there it's weird I mean the store used to be like that but the stores kind of gotten more welcoming yeah yeah definitely yeah I think well there's so many comics so there's so many people there usually at night ya know a lot more people now right right that helps yeah I mean you definitely people you know you see Martin only people like oh yeah right I'm not gonna lie to you like a couple years ago I'd see you and just like uh I don't know anybody was like high school at the cafeteria like we have some connection I need you but you were doing [ __ ] you were busy and I was like all right no I gotta I gotta learn to just sit here alone damn but you know you know how it is when you're your different you want to [ __ ] cling to some guy oh yeah totally yeah it's funny it's like the things that we it's like so easily like if you know like say like a missile hit oh be interesting to see how quick people got into like no what would it make attract people to different people and get into certain groups and cliques for sure for sure I always say like remember World War 3 was about to happen you know but Trump everything with Iran yeah yeah and everybody's like this is awful and you know everybody's got jokes about it I'm like it's not that bad if you're checking your retweets you know if you're checking your retweets it's not really an emergency we all pretend like we're living in this crisis time and everything's gonna fire around us you know but if you're going here's my Trump joke how's that doing things aren't that bad if your house is on fire you're not tweeting [ __ ] you know what I mean so that's how you kind of know if things are really bad and then of course it would turned into nothing and nobody cared ten minutes later but yeah I feel like that's a good point cuz people are gonna my dad used to always say we need a war we need a war people are black for his way rich versus poor men versus women we need a war to bring us all together which is not a great mentality but I thought about that before yeah like you need some kind of common enemy like we used to hate the Nazis then we hated the Russians and you know you got to have some kind of bonding factor which we don't really have anymore buddies doing their own [ __ ] you got a pod he's got a web series she's a diorama yeah he's got an easel he's like I got a compass that's a Demetri Martin reference yes guys know what's going on here we should do a show I would love that it'd be great we could sell out the mahalia or uh that's pretty big that Sanger might be cool Oh me you Patton I can be fun fun I can be fun my uh my dad's kid from his first marriage bought that place yeah he owned that Keystone that bar right there on your shirt my dad's son from his first marriage yeah oh so a half-brother yeah there's like he died he's accidentally died in the woods he accidentally got shot but he was like 68 or 70 I think yeah once ago they must been a big hitter I mean he did it yeah they did well it was crazy because we didn't have anything yeah this old dad and he had this other family from you know 30 years earlier that's wild and they owned Tipitina's and they owned like all this nice stuff so could you come into town and get kind of wined and dined no damn but I had like a common enemy though haha [ __ ] them there you go you know yeah my half bro yeah I hooked me up with some tickets yeah get me in there do you don't want to see uh Disco Biscuits tonight how does he bag of doughnuts yeah remember them oh do remember them they played nine of my prom are the only band them yeah album out yes and we had better than Ezra I think better that's what I really liked I did to do the wet grass falling a step behind that's all I knew yeah me too uh dude bagging dude first of all cowboy mouth they can't play everything dude no be it nine things if you're alright they be at a um I see you open yeah they would be listening yeah everyone Mitzvah yeah going on then they had the radiators was a big radiators they open up a restaurant in the North Shore Mandeville called Mandy's restaurant oh [ __ ] I didn't know real biscuits brought so good all right Franklin the radiators owns it and then they had a what was the oh the brass band rebirth rebirth rebirth was big rebirth yeah about ten years ago or twelve years ago they really like out on a national level yeah that's right they played on all the football games and stuff Wow good for them I used them in my first special I played rebirth to open it up oh really yeah dude I've played Ricky B oh oh shake it for you here of course I grew up on that song yeah bounce wrap yeah was it partners in crime people yeah [ __ ] go yes and they all had danced certain dances with it [ __ ] I knew all that stuff dude they played I don't let him hoes bro no joke at my uncle's funeral how crazy is that like that's Louisiana day yeah yeah we used to go to a [ __ ] uh what was that a me so horny was that band 2 Live Crew oh oh that's a great show yeah one of them was on Tom Segura podcast recently oh [ __ ] your mom says live I think Lonnie live or whatever that man's name was oh wow might have been crew I don't know who it was one of them dude yeah good time what back it done they were pretty good I wonder if they like moved on and did it with a in and they were always shooting toilet paper at the right there that's all a paper gun yeah that's it that support people didn't take them as serious right they became like hype men yes yeah yeah they were a great like I remember they come over to the North Shore and play and people would go nuts go nuts just come yeah I saw a frat party and I was like how'd you get them oh yeah you guys have some money yeah or who's I got I don't want to work and I got ha afroman he was big I don't think he was from there but he blew up there wanna be my yeah bro I saw him one time he was so drunk on a stage he vomited in his hat and just threw it off the back of the stage and just kept saying damn at old Miss University Wow I saw him live once and he had all these other songs everyone's kind of like alright then he played I got high everyone's like and anyway back the other one we're like alright let's get out of here I felt bad for that's all they wanted to hear I mean let's be honest do ya man and one thing I loved about being around Louisiana especially one was just going to get oyster that was something that's nice all the time Louisville of an oyster on the half shell not people won't like it yeah it's crazy I mean I get it is a gooey snotty thing out of a shell it's got a weird consistency it's like a loogie is gay but a girl will give a [ __ ] being and have an oyster dude I'm out of here the point yeah so no I'll break it always try to the fridge just to see what her vibe is right yeah yeah I love him but uh you got I think you got to grow up with him yeah same with Croft if you're like why do you waste time it's so I'm like it's about to hang we're at a table we got a keg of beer we're throwing shells in the hole in the table it's great yeah everybody's sign it everybody's got sinuses yeah uncle came over and he's in a boot right right that's a crazy slow walking right [ __ ] buzz aldrin shows up yeah your Nana's there you gotta peel him for her she's friends with Rosa Parks you know you can't even see yeah Rosa Parks is my nickname for Cam Newton oh I like it there pretty good that's pretty good with the headdress okay he's high he's a hot hot black man what do you think happens to Drew Brees man you have any insight I think he had a good run I think his hair is going and I think he's a cool dude and he's great for the city but I mean I think time has come yeah what do you all think it man I mean he completed 73 percent of his passes last year that's the crazy part that's great right yeah yeah yes no I like drew I'm a big guy he's like the mayor you know if he came down to Orleans and I in a convertible and just waved I mean the [ __ ] shut buildings would shut down and people jump out of windows oh he's the guy yeah he's fun to watch on this game he has his kids and stuff oh I gotta what I gotta follow three or four kids on there he's got three little boys and a little girl does he does he know you I'll tell you this the only time I ever met him was at lucey's huh Scott Fujita who was a football player for the Saints brought him out to the comedy show one night at lucey's Wow my fiance's doing this Scott afterwards act he stayed for the whole show three I guess the worst lonk 22 comedian got him a corn bread yeah red bean dust Muppet rude boy yeah arteriosclerosis do this black set of twins she actually he was Greek I think Cheerios that sounds more Greek um yeah that was a [ __ ] show man they brought and then afterwards Scott said oh hey this is our this is the new quarterback this is your this is Drew Wow so you saw a young drew and he was nice yeah he just show can see I don't have had and nobody knew who he'd know buddy was maybe people knew but nobody like nunu nunu yeah yeah by the way it's gotta suck to be Scott Vegeta because everybody's going fajita now for Jada yeah fajita Vegeta unless you open up a restaurant editor yeah it's sizzling Fujita's yeah yeah that's not bad come get these Fujita's in your mouth I love is there anything better than if I heat a plate that sizzle coming out you know yeah the piping hot it's it's bubbling and crackling and got the smoke everybody at the tables jealous like damn man I got looking at wonton yeah I got enchiladas here you're sizzling yeah I used to think it was a Mexican birthday cake when they brought it I didn't know what was going on right now it shows up and you blow on it yeah you make a wish uh mark Normand thanks for coming in man when are you coming up where you gonna be coming up in school Wednesdays come out tomorrow oh great I'm at the La Jolla Comedy Store tonight okay great and all weekend and I'm doing the the road and I'm finally selling tickets for the love of Allah Jesus but I'm all my dates are on mark Normand comedy calm are they and um I got in my own podcast called Tuesdays with stories see me in New York follow me on Instagram queef anal semen go nuts we'd love to have you I'm all over the road this year so just don't drive behind it yeah yeah yeah I've been drinking so be careful up there but I'm on a moped so yeah I killed me more I kill you you name it I'm coming Chicago Utah Royal Oak all the good ones okay cool thank you guys yeah thank you guys for being here man thanks mark yeah it's bumming [Music] [Music] little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself [Music] [Music]

Channel: Theo Von

Views: 833,335

Rating: 4.8479438 out of 5

Keywords: Theo von, this past weekend, theo von podcast, this past weekend podcast, tpw, joe rogan, joe rogan experience, jre, joe rogan podcast, brendan schaub, bryan callen, the fighter and the kid, below the belt, tfatk, theo von brendan schaub, king and the sting, king and the sting podcast, chris delia, chris delia podcast, joey diaz, bert kreischer, tom segura, bobby lee, tigerbelly, ari shaffir, mark normand, joe list, tuesdays with stories

Id: xBa8gRnKfcA

Length: 136min 11sec (8171 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 30 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Theo lookin like he came straight from Jellyfishing.

[u/ManandGodandLaw]

Two hours and fifteen minutes. This gonna be good.

[u/bobhaffner]

Thousands of jokes in this one! And one occurrence of eye contact

[u/FlowersSingInDMinor]

A little hungover a little gay hiding my erection

[u/ManandGodandLaw]

Hell yes.

[u/quietsam]

This is not a knock, but I just assume 90% of what Theo says is a tall tale, but with Mark here he's verifying some people and stories. Love this episode.

[u/ManandGodandLaw]

This is as “real” I’ve seen Mark be.

[u/blasphemics]

That Creepy Orlando with the timely hitter.

[u/tullbabes]

Comedy!