-GOP Congresswoman
Marjorie Taylor Greene falsely cited HIPAA in refusing to say whether
she's been vaccinated, while Republicans fought
with an ice cream company and said we should just learn
to live with climate change. For more on this,
it's time for "A Closer Look." ♪♪ There's a lot going on
in the world right now and it's easy to look around
at the state of things and get a slightly
apocalyptic vibe. COVID cases have
nearly tripled in two weeks, thanks to a highly
contagious new variant; billionaires are
jetting off to space as U.S. life expectancy saw its biggest drop
since World War II; and, thanks to intense wildfires
on the West Coast, smoke blanketed parts
of the country as far east as New York. -Dozens of Western wildfires burning out of control, sending smoke as far east
as New York City. Nearly 3,000 miles away, air quality in the Northeast,
including here in New York City, was compromised, due to smoke
from those wildfires. -The smoky infernos out west creating hazy skies thousands
of miles away, stretching from Toronto
to Philadelphia. The wildfires so strong
in New York City, a plume of haze clouded
the city skyline. -I mean, this is
pretty thick stuff. I mean, it was just draped across the Statue of Liberty. -Oh, my God!
I mean, on a good day, breathing the air
in New York City is like smoking Marlboro reds
in a railroad cattle car. [ Laughter ]
You know how bad it has to be to notice the air quality
in New York? That's like noticing a ketchup
stain on a red couch. [ Laughter ]
A thick plume of smoke
turning the sun red and blanketing
the Statue of Liberty? It's like the establishing shot
in a sci-fi movie that takes place
in a dystopian future, after a nuclear war
between humans and lizards. And I want to be
the recluse scientist with a long, gray beard who's been living
on the top floor of the abandoned
Empire State Building. And then, the last
surviving humans come to me and they ask
about the formula I devised for filtering ash
from the sky, which would allow the Sun
to break through and kill the lizards
because they're from a different galaxy.
Our Sun is lethal to them. But I get upset because they're
dredging up painful memories. "Damn you for coming here!"
I'll say. "Now, leave me in peace!" While I clutch a framed photo
of my late wife and listen to my Beatles LPs
and they'll say, "Please, is there anything
we can do for you that might change your mind?" And I'll pause and I'll say,
"Well, I've never seen Hamilton,"
and they'll say, "It's still sold out." And I'll say, "Still?! [ Laughter ] Damn you, Lin-Manuel Miranda!" Anyway, if you're intrigued
by any of that little teaser, you can read
the rest right here, in my 600-page screenplay,
called "Red Sun's Out,
Space Guns Out." [ Laughter ]
Now, [Thud]
probably, due in part to the post-apocalyptic scenes of mass animal extinctions,
deadly heat waves, flooded subway stations
in New York City, smoke blanketing the sky
and turning the Sun blood-red, and rings of fire
in the Gulf of Mexico, Americans now list
climate change as their second-highest priority in at least one poll conducted
by The Economist and YouGov. But if you're worried
about it, good news -- Fox News host Jesse Waters
has a solution -- just live with it. -If you want to stop
climate change, you don't fight climate change. If it's getting warmer,
you adapt to it. Let's just say
the sea levels rise a couple inches over the
next century, Harold. Okay. It's a great
civilization we have here. I think we can adapt to that. The Netherlands --
25% below sea level. They're like a powerhouse
in Europe.
-[ Laughs ] -They didn't just destroy
their economy to fight the rise
in the sea levels right there. They built reservoirs
and kind of adjusted around the coastline
and they're fine. They didn't have
to break the bank to do it. -Yeah, just adapt to it. Who needs a cab,
when you could Uber a dolphin? Of course, the problem
with Uber dolphins is they can't take a hint
when you don't want to talk. [ High-pitched ]
"So, you from around here?" [ Laughter ]
Uh, yeah. "Got plans for the weekend?" Um, what?
Sorry, I'm kind of busy. "Oh, okay. Hey, you know,
I could get some krill?" Uh, nice try, but you don't eat krill,
Dolphin. Baleen whales do.
You eat small fish. If you want to get
into "Corrections," you got to try harder than that. Wait.
This is my stop. [ Laughter ] Miami's bracing for... What's Pitbull supposed to do,
move to Kansas? I don't think gasoline is going
to go over too well at the Leavenworth County Fair. Also, your Netherlands
comparison only makes sense if sea levels stay exactly where
they are right now forever, which is obviously
not happening. That's why the government
is aiming... Those changes are necessary to avoid potentially
catastrophic flooding that could sink low-lying areas. Experts are
quite literally afraid parts of the country
could become uninhabitable. As one Dutch professor
of geosciences and physical geography
put it... And, when a Dutch professor
uses the expression, "[bleep] hits the fan,"
you know the problem is real. And, you know,
I used to live in Amsterdam and I called a Dutch friend
and I asked her, "How would a Dutch person say,
'The [bleep] hits the fan?'" And she said, "We would say,
'The [bleep] hits the fan," because we all speak English
and it's an American expression. And I said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, but how would you say it
in Dutch?" And she said,
"I don't want to do this. This is a waste of time." And I said, "Come on,
just do it. It'll be funny." How would you say, 'The [bleep]
hits the fan' in Dutch?" And she took a long beat
and said, "De poep in de ventilator." [ Laughter ]
And I said, "And no one's time has been wasted today." [ Laughter ] So life expectancy
is plummeting, a new variant
of a highly contagious respiratory disease is surging, and wildfire smoke has spread
all the way around the U.S. Let's check in
on Republican politicians and see what they're up to. -Senator James Lankford now calling on the state
of Oklahoma to ban the sale of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. All of this came
after Ben & Jerry's releasing a statement
earlier this week saying that they will end
the sale of their ice cream "in the Occupied Palestinian
territory." Senator Lankford tweeting out
within the hour, saying... ...We should immediately block
the sale of all #Benandjerrys in the state
and any state-operated facility to align with our law." -Cool, they're fighting
with ice cream, now. What's next, they going
to accuse Mayor McCheese of voting twice in Arizona? You can't just ban Ben & Jerry's because you don't like
their opinions. I mean, I still eat it,
even though I'm annoyed they haven't given us
our own flavor yet. It would be called
A Closer Lick and we've already mocked up what
the container would look like. I sent this to them
and I've called their offices and left dozens of messages
and all that happened was one of their interns
called me and said, "We already have a flavor
named after you. It's called vanilla." Ha ha ha. [ Laughter ] But I assure you,
if this doesn't work, then we will continue
to at least try to get our own butter flavor,
called Land O' Looks. [ Laughter ]
I will have a personalized
dairy product! [ Laughter ]
So Republicans think
they should have the power to ban an ice cream company,
if they don't like its politics, but when President Biden
announced a targeted community outreach effort
to send volunteers door to door and raise awareness
about COVID vaccines, conservatives called it tyranny. -And, now, they're starting
to talk about going door to door to be able to take vaccines to the people. Think about the mechanisms
they would have to build to be able to actually execute
that massive of a thing and then think about what those
mechanisms could be used for. They could then go door to door,
take your guns, They could then go
door to door, take your Bible. -Marjorie Taylor Greene
tweeting this -- "Biden pushing a vaccine
that is NOT FDA approved... -Going door to door? This is creepy stuff. You know, someone comes
up to your door outside, wearing a mask, showing up at your house, claiming to work
for the government, asking you personal
medical questions? -Don't come knocking on my door
with your Fauci Ouchie. -Maybe she thinks that's
a Ben & Jerry's flavor. I wouldn't be surprised. Everyone gets one, but me. [ Laughter ] Also, no one's knocking
on your door with a COVID shot, although I wish they had.
I mean, sure, now, certain places,
like New York City, will bring the vaccine to your
house, if you sign up for it, but, back when the rest of us
got ours, a few months ago, we had to sit at our computers
all day for weeks, refreshing eight
different websites, looking for a random open slot
at a pharmacy at 3:00 am in a neighborhood
we'd never heard of before. Honey, I got one.
It's a pharmacy called Drugs Plus
in Upper Coney Island West? I guess I have to take
the George Kennedy Bridge to get there?
Is this real? No polls, Shoemaker,
on the George Kennedy Bridge. You just have to eat
50 hard boiled eggs in an hour. [ Laughter ] [ As Dragline ]
You can do it, Shoemaker! [ Laughter ] So, according to Republicans,
they should be able to ban an ice cream company
they don't like, but going door to door
to raise awareness about life-saving vaccines
is tyranny. On Tuesday,
Georgia Congresswoman
Marjorie Taylor Greene was asked by a reporter if she
had personally been vaccinated, given that she continues to lie and spread dangerous
misinformation
about COVID vaccines. -Whip Scalise said
that he got vaccinated, citing this Delta variant
that's going around, and said he's confident that it's safe and effective. Two questions. Have you
yourself gotten vaccinated and do you disagree
with the Republican whip? -Well, your first question
is a violation of HIPAA rights. You see, with HIPAA rights, we don't have to reveal
our medical records and that also involves
our vaccine records. -That's not a thing. A reporter asking you
if you've been vaccinated doesn't violate
your HIPAA rights, any more than a neighbor
needs a warrant to enter your house
for a barbecue. HIPAA establishes
national standards to protect your medical records. It doesn't stop journalists
from asking you questions. She probably also thinks
Miranda rights means she doesn't have to visit her
friends in Manhattan anymore after she moves to Brooklyn
with Steve. [ As Steve ]
Should we just stay in tonight and watch a movie? Steve was my audition
for Impression Camp. [ Laughter ] They said, "Do one where
we won't know if it's good." [ Laughter ]
I doubt she even knows what HIPAA is
or what it stands for. She probably doesn't even know
it's an acronym. [ As Greene ] Asking me
if I've been vaccinated violates my HIPAA rights and asking me
if I've been to the zoo violates my hippo rights and asking me if any
of my siblings are royalty violates my Pippa rights. [ Laughter ]
And then, today Texas Congressman
Randy Jackson jumped in with what he apparently thought
was a brilliant comeback to reporters asking Republicans
if they've been vaccinated. -Yeah, I was just going
to chime in and say, I think that you, as a press, have a responsibility
to ask questions of the Democrats as well. How many of the Democrats
are willing to say whether or not
they've been vaccinated? -Hey, remember that guy,
Dr. Ronny, the guy who said Trump had
the IQ of a chess wizard and the build
of a college linebacker? You know, the guy who was
allegedly known as the Candyman because he dished out pills
like the Phoenix Suns gorilla giving out T-shirts
at a home game. Whenever he handed out
a prescription, this played -- [ 2 Unlimited's
""Get Ready for This" plays ] [ Laughter ] I'm sure you at least remember
the name Dr. Ronny, a name that sounds less like
an actual medical doctor and more like a guy who plays
jazz, flute, and a fedora and invites you
to get sky high with him in his yurt outside Reno. Anyway, what are you
talking about? You don't think Democrats
are willing to say if they've been vaccinated? I'm pretty sure they all
walk around with their CDC card Scotch taped
to their foreheads. I mean, what else are we going
to do with that thing? I thought I was going to have
to show it everywhere I went, like a reporter flashing
a press badge at a crime scene, and, now, I'm thinking
of taking it out of my wallet to make room
for something more useful, like my Hollywood Video card. There's a throughline here between COVID
and climate change. In both cases,
the right has decided the best course of action is
to just let disaster happen and scare people about any
government attempt to stop it. And, while some in the GOP
advocate for vaccines, other loud voices, like Greene, continue to spread lies
about them. They've sunk so low,
they're basically... -25% below sea level. -This has been "A Closer Look." ♪♪ God's Love We Deliver
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