louie season 3 episode 11 David lynch full episode

so i hardly heard the kids they're good jane gave me a really hard time this morning but i got him off to school so so i i have uh i maybe have something that i have to well i got something i got to tell you about that maybe i have okay here's the thing okay i was on um i did the tonight show the other night i don't know if you saw it it went really well and so i had a meeting at at uh i had a meeting at cbs cbs yeah with like the chairman of cbs like in the anyway he told me the thing is when he told me he made me sign a confidentiality agreement saying i would never repeat this to anybody just so you know so maybe you shouldn't tell me i have to tell you so i can tell you what's going on with me okay all right look david david letterman is retiring at the end of next year and they're i guess they're looking possibly at maybe me to maybe be the guy who could replace him take over letterman shaw yeah so wait you're just like on a list or something is that what you're telling me no apparently it's like it's between me and jerry seinfeld and obviously he's the front runner but i they're looking at me like as an option because you'd be cheaper yeah and so i'm supposed to start working with this guy here in new york like this producer guy to like train and i'm supposed to do a test show and i guess if they like the show you know it's a really outside shot it's a way outside shot but i have a shot and while i'm telling you this because i mean i i of course i can't you know i can't do it what why because i got the kids three days a week and and if i had a full-time job this is more than a full-time job it's just oh forget the kids what the kids i got the kids you go do this you go get this job you go get this job i don't even know if i can oh you can if you want it you have to get this louie janet i'm jerry seinfeld oh jerry seinfeld boo he's not even that good i mean not like that his show was great but that was a long time ago okay no you have more than a shot these people aren't idiots they picked you for a reason janet you're not look i've been on the road doing comedy to stand up for all these years because i can do that and then i make my own schedule and then i'm able to take my time with the kids so they're with me half the time and they're used to that they need that louie you'll see them on the weekends you'll have them over the summer yes you'll see them a lot less but that's because you'll have a job i have a job louie you came here so that i would tell you that you can't do this didn't you because i need you to do your share with the kids that's why you're here you don't have the gall to take this thing on and you want me to blame here's the bad news buddy you can totally get this show and the girls will be fine i mean the standard thing where's that going huh it was going to this if you don't do this i mean what was it all for what did you put 20 years into this for what did i put my nine in for listen you've been a fine father but nobody needs a father that much the girls need a role model they need to see you live and succeed look i'm not bitter about anything you've i'm grateful to you you supported us for years you supported me and since i've got my degree i i haven't needed you i'm not asking you for anything i'm just i hate to see what the future will be if you don't make this happen [Applause] [Music] hi i'm uh here to see uh i'm here to see jack doll it's doll doll doll it's doll okay thank you yes ah yes you can go in now thank you he's waiting uh uh mr doll doll uh my name is louie ck i i was sent here uh sent here what do you letter nobody sent oh well i he told me that i should contact you about the uh late show thing that i he said well i have a test show in like two months and you're gonna pick up one of those cards excuse me i said pick up one of those cards these cards yes you stand there and you stand there hold up the card read the card okay president nixon today uh nixon president nixon today announced that he is going to recognize china but that if he's not careful he might mistake them for korea what forgot to say we'll be right back oh right we'll be right back took you one minute and 12 seconds to tell one joke it's too long oh no i i didn't i didn't comedy is about timing son timing you gotta get em you gotta tell em okay work on your speed come back on wednesday right leave the card [Music] oh man hey she's here hey no no don't do that jane don't do that daddy baby stop baby come here come here come here um officer that lady stopped [Music] i did good didn't i all right girls get ready for bed all right hello louis ck hi hey it's me jay leno yeah hi jay how you doing hey listen i want to thank you for last week man you really bailed us out you're really terrific i really appreciate it oh that's really nice jay thank you hey i i heard something through the grapevine you're up for uh dave's job huh oh yeah i know you're not supposed to tell but you know i know everything okay so this is a big deal yeah yeah i guess so listen uh while i have you on the phone um can i ask you something yeah sure go ahead well should i take the job i mean if i get it you really want to know yeah uh don't do it really well you know you're the hip guy you're the cool guy that used to be me but then you got to do 14 minutes every single night nobody is hip every single night i wish somebody told me that wow okay i hope you get it and if you get it it's the last time we'll talk as friends oh thanks jay okay good luck bye bye jay leno is a liar okay he loves that job it's his whole life he's just trying to get rid of you oh yeah oh yeah get your head up man it's the late night wars wars everybody's out to get you you got to smarten up and don't listen to nobody and nobody meaning jay leno in particular right right [ __ ] you might have something here louie i gotta go see the guy thanks man watch your back yeah did you know letterman was retiring well out of how do i know when you don't know start what start start what hosting late show with louis ck go oh all right uh hey all right uh let's get started um i'm louis ck you don't need to tell them your name son the announcer does that well i don't know where you want me to start hello i'm coming in look i i don't know i i guess i just don't know exactly what you what you want me to you come out you say hello you start the show here's the show what's the mystery move aside go watch on the tv ladies and gentlemen jack doll good evening [Applause] [Music] good evening this is late show can you do it i don't i don't think so skip it let's get to the jokes have you been working on your speed yeah okay stand right there all right today president reagan reagan can i have some today jokes you're not ready today president reagan said that russia is an evil empire and that margaret thatcher is an ugly cuss we'll be right back not bad not bad okay relax let's talk about this talk about what body face beard hair clothes you let's talk about it okay look i'd rather not listen cracker jack if you're going to be televised you got to be easy on the eyes it's no good if people hate looking at you you need a suit a tie and some brill cream listen uh jack i got to say something right now i think okay i i i'm not gonna wear a suit okay and i get that late night show hosts have always worn them jack parr steve allen carson letterman not a t-shirt and a bunch just cause you like laying around your house and your underpants doesn't mean the united states of america has to see it i'm not gonna put on a suit brother i'm not wearing a suit i'm sorry i'm not doing it i'm beating this guy for 25 years i'm not gonna become a different person i'm doing the best i can at adapting here and i know i have to do new things but i don't i feel like i've given this a lot of thought and i've i've i've get go see a man named alphonse at this address tomorrow morning nine o'clock sharp are we done dear god i hope so [Music] [Music] [Music] keep your hands up keep your hands up i'm looking alphonse you know where i'll come there you go big guy on the left keep your hands up there you go hi are you alphonse yeah hi my name's louie i i was sent here jack wanted to get you ready yeah um come on fight your way out fight your way out get out that corner get out the corner fight your way out there you go go back get yourself uh get yourself ready i i i didn't know i was working out i don't have shorts or anything jody take him to the bag getting some shorts and gloves get on up in here what do i do you gonna fight him you gonna fight him [Laughter] [Music] okay come back tomorrow speculation that david letterman is retiring at the end of this year and who'll replace him has just gotten more interesting in addition to jerry seinfeld who is widely regarded as the front runner for the job comedian chris rock has emerged as a strong possibility chris rock has denied being considered but inside sources say he has lobbied hard for the job it's doll doll it's doll doll doll doll doll doll doll doll doll doll [Music] oh okay thank you [Music] you

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Views: 13,434

Rating: 5 out of 5

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Id: FBgqAgvdXzs

Length: 21min 8sec (1268 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 16 2021