Lois goes to jail

foreign kids you know more children get kidnapped at the grocery store than anywhere else hey ah you got me oh not quick enough not quick enough no no I was close though you were close would you run and get some milk and be sure to take it from the back [Music] thank you Chris where have you been I don't know I'm gonna go get some oranges Stewie here hold the rest of these bags for mommy oh what brilliant parenting Lois leave a tiny infant with a plastic bag no I might asphyxiate myself just to teach you a lesson here I go just like that boy from INXS I'm going to do it I'm going to do it yeah good Lord Lewis either I was a C-section or your Wonder Woman 53.98 oh no I forgot to go to the bank well I'm a little shorter I have to put the hand back you know I got some candy in my van if your kid wants some oh great a second ah you got me you got me oh man I'll get him though I'll get him I bet you will I bet you will thank you oh this is cute oh my God [Music] [Laughter] [Music] oh my God that was such a rush I'm alive is that ham I thought you put that back I don't remember another ham while you were too busy eyeballing that red book with Glenn Close on the cover hey she is a handsome woman well yeah look who's carrying a little flame for Glenn Close what a surprise oh I have so much stuff to do today I have to do laundry then I have a piano lesson then I have to make dinner I'm so busy oh hey hey are you playing a little dress up yeah good it's fun to pretend so listen if you see Lois Taylor graham crackers graham cracker yes yes that's that's it Lois you're in an auto parts store stealing Mufflers this is worse than that Winona Ryder thing are you saying I'm a klepto well actually I was talking about the Age of Innocence oh God you're right Brian I'm out of control but I don't know what to do I'm just hooked on the Russia shoplifting I haven't felt a thrill like this in a long time well I think you've had enough Thrills why don't you just put everything back huh okay Brian you know you really are a good friend let me rub your belly oh thanks for having us over yeah it's a wonderful dinner and on this beautiful new China you know she bought me something yesterday but I'm not going to tell you what it is I want you to guess to Just Close Your Eyes it's a shacker horn I know what it is hey is that an original Matisse welcome back to Channel 5 News at 10. for those of you wondering what I've been writing down as we go to commercial it's a cat just a cat in other news police are still looking for the culprit who stole a valuable Matisse painting from the Quahog Museum of Art I'm a tea space [Music] oh no but we're out of gas we better ask directions at that creepy and possibly haunted house all right now is that everything you stole you know you really should talk to a therapist about this I mean it really helped Peter out when he became obsessed with that fantasy world of his uh you know Lois we're just lucky we got this under control before the police caught onto you hold it right there Lois you're under arrest oh my God I am so embarrassed let me just get my purse [Applause] thank you Rana I am so sorry for stealing all that stuff I I just couldn't control myself I've decided to go lenient and where the hell is my gavel give me that I sentence you to two years in the state prison ah man that is bogus caught her in the court another outpers like that Mr Griffin and I'll extend the sentence okay three years that was a sneeze four years I'm sorry five years you douchebag all right three years it is here you go meet your new friends hi I'm Lois I'm fisty that's stabby and that's balls pull up a chair we're playing cards Boya sure miss Lois I wish she was here to clean up all this stuff hey what's this mustard oh that's right we had hot dogs last week you gonna eat that the mustard on your shoulder no idea can we pet him no no no no no no no just just watch okay ah Peter this there's so much Duty in here help me okay now when we get to your mother's cage say hello but don't drag your ass Peter this isn't a zoo it's a prison Quagmire what are you doing here yeah it's conjugal visit day you know I love doing a woman in the can who else but Quagmire oh it is so good to see all of you how is everything at home oh it's horrible Lois I've had to do all the things that you usually do like the other night I had to go to your book club meeting well I really admire the mother character's admission of personal torment after her daughter's death I disagree I felt a total lack of ethical Integrity in her Readiness to abandon her children and start a life of her own uh here's another thing the book can also be a hat oh I can't believe you're serving a three-year sentence it seems so harsh while the only upside is that it's given me time to think about why I ended up in here I guess I was stealing because I was so sick of a same old routine I felt like I had a void in my life like like there was a secret hole in me oh God and I was trying to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects and things oh God and I felt wonderful with all those things filling that hole ah I did this to myself so I'm just gonna have to lay back and let the penal system teach me a lesson that one is also sexual well I guess with good behavior you could be out in two years bye-bye take care now have a nice day [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh my God you know what this means you're all accessories to my Escape she's right we're fugitives from the law what the hell is wrong with you I'm a dog all right I have a very tough time standing up in the car Peta we're an Asian town but Hideout here in Asian town we have to find a place to live yes and we should do nothing to draw attention to ourselves as Outsiders my God it's Jackie Chan oh my God it's Jackie Chan oh my God you're Ethan Hawke all right no I'm not mom can we go get some food oh my God there's Malcolm in Middle I'm not a boy yes you are I can't believe we have to live here no this sucks oh tell me about it I haven't seen one female baby since we got here this place is a sausage fist come on kids we've been through worse Meg you remember when you found out your gynecologist never finished med school all right Meg let's take a look at that vagina but Peter how are we going to support ourselves here well we'll all have to get jobs but I'm sure we'll each find something we can do where are you from Tokyo oh Tokyo yeah it's a great town oh damn I seem to have sewn a shoe to my hand may I go to the nurse replace it faster so what exactly would you say qualifies you to work as a sumo wrestler no are you kidding I'm a born athlete just like Greg Louganis hi I'm Greg Louganis I'm totally shaven terrific terrific and Now ladies and gentlemen Sumo tonight brought to you by Asian tricks silly wabbit Twix are for kids you share oh wow uh I'm not really sure what to do here boy you put on white Jackie Chan oh my god did you walk hey everybody I'm home oh you're just in time wait a minute am I the only one who thinks this is nuts we've given up our whole lives Brian a change of scenery is always good yes I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Nebraska hey Mom Mr Swanson's here to visit us oh my God we gotta get out of here [Music] there they are quick into the sewer but lord it's disgusting down here oh boy Stewie's got the right idea what the hell are you doing it's wet down there Brian [Music] foreign which way should we go I don't know let's ask The Goonies take the left one yeah before you go to truffle shuffle oh come on Truffle Shuffle Lois come on what are you doing I can't do it Peta what are you talking about look at us we're running through a sewa and it's because of me I'm gonna turn myself in you're mine now Lois oh my God ciao pretend I'm your child Lois nutmeg nutmeg [Music] you saved my life yeah but I'm sure gonna miss my buddies down at the Sumo ring oh it's not too hard Brian help me demonstrate uh Peter maybe somebody else could come on okay so on a count of three you'll try to push me out of the ring I try to push you out of the ring okay ready one two three oh what what the hell what the hell Brian I'm sorry no no no you know what it's not cool Peter it's not cool [Music] file those shipping reports yet Angela Angela come here check this out look at what this chick is doing to this polar bear wait wait is that wait wait it's it's coming up there you are Opie congratulations you made employee of the month again how come I'm never employed in a month man this is the worst job I've had since I was the conductor for the sand people choir Anna one and a two foreign

Channel: Your Hair is Winter Fire

Views: 7,328,225

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Id: HHzpPVbCrUM

Length: 12min 13sec (733 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 13 2019