LLSwTS Tom Snyder - Billy Connolly 3

a pleasure to welcome Billy back to CBS and thanks for coming on it's a pleasure now the World Cup is recently completed and I read some comments you made about the Scotland national football team I think you call them a boys brigade I'm just curious what kind of reaction you got to that we see in the in Scotland they have this but this boys club thing called the boys brigade it's like an a Presbyterian a semi military marching band kind of people which has nothing at all to do nothing always have football teams and they always play a 11 guys running after the ball or 10 the goalkeeper stays really is but the ball goes up and they all run after it in the old run back and the old does not the obvious plan to the thing and that's what the Scottish team always look like to me you know we're a very good football nation and we have a wonderful history but we but that modern football is beautiful as a South American game as a Spanish an Italian game and American and apparently an American women's game I mean the American female team were the world champions that's right miss Scotland we qualify for the World Cup every single time every four years and we get stuffed every four years and sent home you know and and we our guys tend to misbehave a wee bit get a bit drunk and that's the only it and and we have an enormous history of bad bad behavior and lousy football with super duper heroes you know you always get beaten you know you usually have one or two great guys legends in a team we always get stuff we always think we're gonna win and we are why do you think that is that every four years you go in there with high hopes and great expectations and it around one it's over it's a national thing I've got a mod for this some journalists I'll be watching this and tell them and I'll get hammered again but in Scotland unconvinced we're late losing we like we have yeah we have a victim attitude and losing suits as it gives us something to fly in a bone and complain about you know for instance a we we've fought in so much strawberry battles and we have wonderful music about it it does great tunes and songs about Culloden because we were thrashed for the lish flooded but almost all of the young Scotsman were killed there's a great June flowers of the forest just you get that play that you'll feel it on the bagpipes everybody cries fabulous chicken tralala at Bannockburn we won we beat the English there isn't one tune got a song surprise but so there's this love of failure those are the sufficient for failure and a longing for failure and for instance when we were beaten by Brazil or not we drew with the raziel I think there was there was a huge hoard things you did us proud lads not it didn't you're tied the almost good stuff you know the score than one goal it didn't just proud of it embarrassing yeah and what about the activity in the stands while these games are being played I'm told that now and again that's gotta show up with ballgames the crowd gets a bit rowdy well well that's very very very rare no the English at Valley Road in the Scorch we can't have invented football violence we were violently for religious reasons the Catholics and the Protestants justify it at football matches and throw stuff throw bottles and cans and all that and dear and it was all very exciting but it suddenly became unfashionable I know the Scots take an enormous pride in the good behavior which is kind of weird those chicken hands are people and take an old ladies across the road but the English have become incredibly violent but it's a weird thing and it's well worth studying for some social worker because they are lake organised violence you know there are people called the casuals you you'll get the Manchester casuals and the Birmingham casuals they will phone you know the dress and very expensive sport ride they'll form their cards they've calling cards of the beat you up they leave a calling card on you so you have just been attended to by the Manchester casuals you know blood unless we concur but the phone each other and say write will fight but half-past two at Piccadilly separate Rick as to where the opposite teams colors yeah and and mingle I don't know a given signal turn around and start beating people up it is the most extraordinary form in Scotland you know I've read through the years that the the lads are trained to be tough were you brought up to be trained by anybody but I I grew up thinking a war stuff and we are fought a lot and no man is better than you oh absolutely we grew up thinking that Glasgow people are good fighters we all have men and that was the end of the story so I grew up and I'd be you know I'd punched a few guys had beaten had bled a few noses I was okay indeed then I went to the countryside and I thought oh yeah this is dancin thought I could do but a leg shoving people around some big guy in a sports jacket beat me till I was crying for my mother just some big muscly country boy I learned my lesson very very quickly I didn't take part in any gang violence but I thought I was a hard man I thought I could really fight and recently have you not from time to time gotten into encounters with the Pressman and potala we yeah yeah a couple of shots right Wow and paid a couple of fights feed a few things yeah beating them up but it was wonderful nothing smashing a guy who has laid about you and I used to do this thing at airports there's a way of walking when the photographers are taking a picture they of course have to walk backwards you know cuz you're walking to the runner so if you walk a certain way you can end them at things you know and if you punch a photographer they never hit you back because the other ones I've taken pictures of you doing it you see so you know you get out you're never gonna be ganged up on but there are some big fight slugs and in journalism in Britain who do it's just kicking their ass it's just such a joy why what have they done to you oh they just lied to me when I started with my divorce and all that love child yeah I apparently lived in a love nest with a love child and all and I hate it because such an incredibly painful thing and they love to just hold the wounds open as long as they can and they get more and more offended so and the interviewed my daughter who was 6 and our way home from school and I just lost control no that's not about survivors have a go are they tougher there than they are here is much much more soul and even worse recently because they become freelance they've made them all freelance so they have to turn up with a story to get paid you know they've got staff that was a bad paper drunks like they used to be you know that they're much more while you know but hey I paid too many fines though it's about four or five times I've been sued and lost you know and they so I think I'll put my gloves are weird give it a rest for a while yeah now you describe yourself as being not from the middle class but from the working lookin class person and working class versus middle class what would be the difference in your view well we're not the middle class in in England and Scotland isn't the same as the middle the middle class here of what we would term working-class doing rather well but the middle class are a sort of halfway host between working class and upper class there are people who would like to be upper-class but you have to be born upper-class but some people seem to think that if you get certain things a certain type of house a certain kind of car your dress and your children's in a certain income a Killip Ivy League a certain income you look upper-class and there were what we termed middle class I was always an honest-to-god working-class guy from a working-class family and very very proud of it yeah what'd your dad do what was his job my father was an engineer and he made optical instruments you know rangefinder that was his job Andy I was a welder in the shipyards and loved it it was great not when you say a welder in the shipyards what kind of work do you do are you are you welding side plates together yes welding the ship together basically yeah yeah just I was an electric arc welder and you like that I loved it what was it a hard work physically but physically but there were great guys - what massage you know it was it was like coal mining you know I just have men good well-read men good guys the Libyan prison when the door closes you're all in it together you know it was just brilliant arraigned on you it was cold and hard but you felt the command it was a very you know I'd been a schoolboy know I was a man that was I love you know who was here last night is Karl Malden who's from Gary oh yeah he worked for three years in the steel mills back to Gary it's one thing yep exactly right and he said it was it was hot and he said it was it was terrible work but there was a camaraderie with the people that you were working with because you were all in it together absolutely it was the beat in jail there one immense wave a superfan all the time the army you know you're just every second word but you feel the command that's a lovely thing and you give up till sorts of mischief when I was a boy we used to give people electric shocks it took there was a team of two of us and I would go under underneath the deck on the plank of wood with my electric welding equipment and the guy would be up there with it with a piece of metal and it sees someone walking into a puddle he goes thinking and I go and their boiler suits the overalls we'll have a little half built and we used to bend a welding rod and an ass ship and hang a piece of paper and set fire to it just we put on the half belt when someone's walking along and what didn't you want to get out Billy I did I always I was always a dreamer you know I used to sit and watch that ever played with a ship's can up you know but most American ships are registered in Baltimore for some reason we just say Balto is that one of a Baltimore's like I wonder what shanghai is like you'd see all these names what they've been monrovia like yes and all those flags the American flag and their Irish flag and Spanish and you see I must get I must do something yeah so you did I don't die I always wanted to be Hank Williams you know I knew Oh Hank Williams oh yeah that's what I'd like to be a big skinny cowboy with a guitar you know wander and look the drifter was the character he was an ass that's what I want to be I want to be a since it was a child I wanted to be a just a guy on the road you know like Utah Phillips or somebody oh I wondered if I was possessed with the idea of being interesting I want to be an interesting person yeah that you have become a very interesting person let me take a fast break here I want to tell you any Impostors you play a gay tennis I'm like a tennis coach good yeah I want to find out how that went for you back with Billy Connolly and you on the toll free after a short time out hey and welcome to CBS hello hello I'm good evening - two of my favorite rappin tourists Thank You mr. Connolly first does the guest I'd like to know what is it like being married to a sex therapist and does she really know everything oh she's my wife is a psychotherapist and and I suppose she she she deals in sexual trauma and stuff some of the time but that's not all she does but he it's extremely pleasant being married to Pamela it says she's a very brave woman and and she doesn't unfortunately she can't tell me anything about a job you know because of the ethics of the thing so she doesn't bring the work home she can't she can't tell me about anybody I would love to know all sorts of stuff like Oh what she tells me stuff about me yeah but she's kind of easy on me she gently persuades me to do things and not to do other things and she's a she's a very healthy happy person and I do level that speak see your malleability thank you for many years of pleasure you won't being posted out of the country so last couple of years and you have been my sanity well thank blinken if you thank you pay and have a nice evening okay Jim all right connection lady Bob I know the imposter yeah homosexual tennis coach when you read the script you loved it I loved it yeah smashing piece it's a code of loonies or honor on a luxury cruise liner Oliver Platt and and and Stanley Tucci two actors really bad out-of-work actors and the they are a their stories on an ocean liner and and and getting up to all sorts of mischief and I am the tennis coach on the ocean liner and Steve Buscemi is a a drunk crooner who's just been divorced and we get up to all sorts of mischief and when I read the thing I loved it and and I thought well I don't look very gay you know I I look kind of macho and I was kind of mincing around to know that the Wardrobe mirror you know and pote and I have a gay pile of rust off and give me some tips of it being gay and he he was giving me a sore it told me a lovely thing incidentally I think you'll like this he said when he was younger and he was trying to find out if another guy was gay or not right there were certain leading questions they would use and this technique was known as dropping hair pins dropping hair pin just bring certain words into his conversation and if the guy picked him up on it bingo bingo yeah but he was telling me all of it you know well what were some of the words like a know-it-all to old fashions or tame things and stuff yeah he was telling me a bit the thing called a dry bath for you sweep someone with your eyes and back up you know a tribe they're giving him a dry bath yeah and so I was practicing in the middle you know I'm doing all this and then I I ride a motorcycle you know no I subscribe to this magazine that's it's called backstreet heroes so it's all that kind of motorcycling I know the bad boy suffer and I didn't read the original article but this man an American Marine was replying to some article that I hadn't read and he and he was homosexual and he said I'm a gay man and I take exception to this a limp-wristed attitude to sex and I'm not a mincing effeminate so-and-so I'm a man I have a shaven head array the Harley I mean they give all his measurements I'm a big guy and I like men I don't like limp-wristed mincing there I like man let me big men I thought that's my guy he just like rushes up to guys of course I love you dude you'll see how do you do we must wrestle do we you must what sorry she's going to they no chase them is it but there's a lovely laying in it where he Oliver Platt is dressed as a woman and I'm chasing him and he of course thinks that I think he's a woman I know damn fine he's a man indeed he pulls off his wig because I'm a man and I I just love that kind of India sounds like great fun brilliant thing to do with brilliant brilliant people in your military career which we did not talk about the last yeah over here you elected the parachute service yeah that's the parachute regiment yeah because it seemed the most exciting thing to do and because there were guys there man and I I thought I'd love to jump her up an aeroplane and the parachute regiment go everywhere you know the the parachute night and Jordan Libya through all that and I did things behind the lines under cover of a big Harpe guys get in there and be a guy and I was desperate to be a man cuz when I was a boy I was desperately unhappy and and I thought well maybe when I'm a man thing that things are more different right I'll be in control I'll be in charge here you know and that that's driven me my whole life actually indeed and so and the guys were brilliant they'll bomb is wonderful cuz they don't think like anybody else you know and you said to the guys it's good what happens if the parachute doesn't open they said cross your right leg over your left so we can screw you nothing escapes you I hear they very seldom but it is that they don't open they usually often is very very very rare and the old days when they were silk I think that used to stick together but no the made of all sorts of manmade fibers that just can't stick together it's very very rare I understand that you rang the bell yes it was the best I was telling your researcher guy he was saying did anything we had ever happened to you but you see that the weird I was looking forward to the weird the one I didn't do I always wanted to do it's called the blown peripherally where you come out of the the aeroplane and and your parachute comes inside out and the lanes are supposed to come down towards you got over up the parachute and it becomes like a big bra and it's called a blonde peripherally you know India everybody but the other thing was ringing the bell and that is hitting your head off to say to the inner part perfect with your helmet on and I did that one song it was the guy in front of me refused to jump they do what do you mean you refuse to jump in the military one to go it's like go go go right go go that's the speed you can hit the door and jumped out but that time I was facing the dispatcher and they would go know what those side ways and a spun Andy that's how I look at a textbook ring the bell stop for a second will continue with Billy Tommy you can be seen currently of the Impostors we'll be right back after this timeout I'm calling to find out what his clam is that he's from and also I grew up I've got the blood in me and I make Scottish eggs which are hard-boiled eggs with like sausage around yeah and then they're deep freight and I would like to know if he eats those and what other Christine she likes to eat oh yeah I do eat Scotch eggs and I like them very much and you're right as a boiled egg with with sausage meat around it and a can of bread stuff on the outside already does the dish have a name Scotch eggs got eggs yeah that's what they're called Scotch egg and it isn't hagas no no haggis is there's all sorts of things it's the it's awful from a sheep a liver and all that stuff and onions and spices and oatmeal and it's in a bag like a sausage the skin is a I think it's a sheep's bladder but that makes it sound awful but it's just sausage skin as made of weird stuff anyway and it's delicious a couple of times a year goes a long way right a little bladder goes along be calling a bacon and egg slivers of pigs underbelly and embryo or chicken oh my god if you call it bacon and egg it's fine yeah you don't think about what it is no it's like chicken you don't want to think about chicken yeah well because they eat chicken before it's born and after it's dead yeah I guess this could be it but are we a bit of malt whiskey on it - ah good nurse I know they do vegetarian haggis which is really a kind of hanging offense but they do it anyway people have a little go at it you know other sort of more the health conscious you know you know keep me two pounds of brown rice oh no you better make it a pound I don't think I could carry two pounds home you know the kind of guys but the vegetarian stuff isn't so hot but they've been awful I've always liked that that's very and the clan is McLean my mother I'm a con of course Connolly which is Irish and Earth cept a CPT that is her cousins in Scotland were McDonald's but the tartan I wear when I wear my kilt to weddings and funerals and things is a McClane a McLean of juked which is how do you find bagpipe music you thought I loved it really see it makes my fillings hurt when I hear it oh you would like it if you get enough of it the sitar sounded to you when Ravi Shankar and all that yeah right right right well the back pages of India there's a classical music of the bagpipes is called Peter and when you get a liking for it there's nothing as a stoning stuff and if you just relax it can just take it away really it's there it's wonderful music see I feel about bagpipe music like you feel about haggis just a little bit you know a little goes a long way but you know what happens the drones mmm when you're around it for a long time the drone gets to you like the didgeridoo or the Alpine horn or anything massage is the base of your brain apparently and meter gives you a very pleasant feeling thanks for fillings hurt qu thank you for calling Joyce and thanks for watching our program the other thing about parachuting didn't-didn't two fellows in your regiment or platoon and the parachute note say dead but I will never forget it as long as I live you have get normal parachute on the back and and this we won on the front your auxiliary with a red handle okay so nothing goes wrong you pull that well the thing you do when you're parachuting if you're directly above a guy ii-if or something comes in below you he can steal you the air you know exactly and the parachute starts to collapse right well this happened I mean this guy was full of man I was already done and I was watching that all the other guys coming in little bit six airplanes in the air and the sky is full of people one had gone under and this pole should collapse so he can fend and pass this fellow and grabbed of it as he was gonna bag and all the lane and his parachute went back up so those two guys and two parachutes and then in the ensuing freckie the auxiliary parachute can open up your parachute half and they landed and Apollo shoots nearly 40 feet across so these three parachutes just fell on top of him and underneath all supposed to be fighting the wall Orion the parachute service for years for years yeah oh it's lovely I love it and then I became another guy I wanted here and save the whale and peace and love and a guy shot at me and say plus they didn't like oh I don't think this is good because do you know something I thought he was right you know I was in this country I've been no business they are marching about in his mountains it was when Kennedy was assassinated I wasn't the Karenia mountains I was 21 years of age indeed the guy shot at me during the night not just me all the other guys [Laughter] just had a good we had a go back and I hope I didn't hit anybody this is a job this is why I came to do ya know what war is hell yeah do you know killing people wasn't part of my plan do you remember a German they had the first Desert Storm when the American soldier tried to get out of it and he said I joined for the career I didn't know we were going to war and this American officer said this is a case of failure to read the big print try to chop it will continue with Billy Connolly and you are the toll free after these announcements Scottish guys fishing on a law in the boat and it was nothing happening you know they're just fishing away all day and they're talking about all sorts of stuff and one guy says to the other what's the biggest fish I ever took over here he said 15 pound brown throw here 15 I've never seen a 15 there was never a 15 pound row is I'm telling you a 15 pound brownie over this little I get out of here I'm not talking to you so this is quiet for a long time of this fishing and eventually the other fella sister him what was the biggest thing you ever took over here it says well you'll never believe this one day I was fishing here the cash Mullane felt an incredible weight took me of a half an hour to get it into the boat he said it was a huge copper lamp complete copper shiny beautiful lamp from an old ship with the candles still lit and saying and the guy said our bug it's okay I'll do it deal with you you take five phones off the blown TRO I'll [Laughter] it's gotten cold George moles who's a beautiful man he's a Pinta and he doesn't fish anymore there was a mad fisherman but no he's one of those guys he has taken to the equipment he's mad it just loves them the things you know ties flies don't go fishing anymore and he said I believe you fish Billy I said yeah he said it was the best sales pitch I've ever heard for a fly it gave me a dry fly is it here take this let me put it in my hand there's a tiny wee thing a number 12 and I'm looking at it it's isn't a listen when you're gonna tie this on your lane get out of the river don't tie it on when you're in the river get out of the river and get behind the tree go behind a tree where you're back to the river it is cuz if you're doing it in the river is the buggers will jump up pretty good with dogs wolves bit the lamp yeah the Karen great question has produced a great story thank you for watching and thanks for calling us and good luck get on to it's one of my favorite places I love the Massey Hall I'd love to I love that Massey Hall it's such a far be big wooden lovely theatre well wait that's what it'll should all be like Alaska vote all righty well take care we'll continue well with Billy and you on the toll free after the short time out what drove you to perform what was your motivation to get up on stage and prefer I wanted basically did you ever do it in school no I was funny at school I was a funny school boy and di I was a funny world you know and a funny so as you said yeah so I like I just I wanted to I wanted to be a comedian and I didn't know how he to go about it because I was too here here very long hair and a beard and and that was too scruffy for cabaret and and this there was still a kind of audible and Scotland but I was I was too young and weird for that so I became a folk singer I played the banjo and and my autoharp and sang cat's a family and Jimmie Rodgers and all that and then one day I read in the paper there was a comedian comedian Billy Connolly another was a funny folk singer blamed in flash in the road to Damascus I never looked back I wouldn't call the Queen the granny after that comedian none of this folk singer copic I love music and that's mostly what I buy the country music and folk music when I'm buying records but a but my heart I love comedy I think I think it's such such a wonderful thing tau has it changed since you first discovered comedy or began doing it it's changed absolutely radically and for the better really oh it's the best shape it's ever been as I especially love that what's that def Comedy Jam this black guy oh they're very funny here Oh God fallen a bed because they're completely without a political correctness they don't care though I know they say whatever whatever this is how whitey dances and all that and we see if I do something about black guys if I do if I do walk in like a black guy and all that the complaints I get are from white people not from black black guys don't care they think it's a great laugh it's be those white politically correct people are stiffies and and Frank Zappa said political correctness is that is the language of cowardice and I couldn't agree more because you with the black guys you actually learned something we're not talking about how they live and heard you look at you know the view yeah but what you're looking at a white guy it's all pretend II and and nice in ACP you know it sir I get bored with it well like you say the guy who dresses like a tourist in his own house absolutely do you watch Robin Williams you know in all Poor's oh it doesn't care and it's a joy that was never a Robin Williams was up when I was growing up it was old guys in midnight blue more hair suits talking a bit the way for the mother-in-law right talking about Pakistanis or some what was it he's an explosion on today yeah but now you made the imposter you made it in New York did you how did you like working in the New York City love it it's my favorite city on earth I think New York oh it's great city I absolutely loved it and I was confirmed as my favorite city last summer I was in seventh Avenue near but that a Times Square that we stand that yes indeed a taxi driver a big sweaty man a big smelly we're almost done okay right okay he leaned into his window of his taxi and the scotch and son-in see mister you are a party thanks for coming on tonight it's always a great pleasure okay Billy Connolly is the guest you can see him in the imposters and he truly celebrates life and I'm grateful for his appearance here tonight we will continue and tell you about tomorrow which I hope is as good as tonight after these messages [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Kevin МАРУСЕК

Views: 22,218

Rating: 4.8282208 out of 5

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Id: DA0v2QBHBqc

Length: 32min 1sec (1921 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 28 2019