Let Love | Common & Ps Touré Roberts

and what a special evening we have for you God is he's definitely in this but anybody feel the presence of God you just miss of God God and we're gonna have a great great time and I do me a favor if you're visiting with us for the very first time just wave at me your first time guess never been to the POTUS house Wow tremendous tremendous tremendous well welcome the the Potter in the potter's house is God Almighty he's the father and so so if it's the paw versus and this is your father's house that means that you're welcome and so we're glad that you're here we pray that you stay connected with us a lot of great things going on but one of the great things that's happening tonight and I'm excited about it is our special guests and we have many special guests tonight but we have a distinguished guest who's here tonight that I'm gonna have a conversation with and this is he's a phenomenal man of God God has blessed him in so many ways God has used him since the 90s to talk since to to supreme since to culture and to do so many things and we've got a lot to talk about but while you're standing I want you to help me welcome Golden Globe winning Emmy winning Oscar winning multiple Grammy winner rapper musician [Music] a lot like this gotta be something for me to write this we I seen you in a minute wrote this letter and finally decide to sell it signed sealed delivered for us to grow together love has no limit let's reel in slow forever about what does did to you I go solo I did it true because her you fellas I had that weekend brothers recognize the light they can handle it late I decided to walk around with matches searched relationship is you got your work we don't wanna make us be in search of the most the end is near [Music] Wow come on we got a bonus blessing you may be seated if you want to one more time can we give it up for this man of God come on oh this is great I'm gonna keep this up here in case in case he decides or maybe I decide to freestyle come on i'ma keep this mic close to us but uh but becomin welcome so so glad to have you here with us man I love you you you're doing so much so so many things taking place oh by the way his latest book now is a New York Times best seller can we celebrate that and you've got to get it you've got to read it I've got all types of notes I've got sticky notes in it it is an incredible book it's a book of wisdom it's a book of truth it's it's it's your story tell us a little bit about the book why why did you write it and why do you think it's important now well first I want to say thank you and thank you all for being here I wrote this book let love have the last word I really was looking at the times that we dealing with but I was looking at how much you know people kept my conversations with a lot of people were so anxiety filled in Fairfield and it was a like a lot of despair really because of the political climate and the division that was going on and just like I mean we had people coming into spiritual settings attacking people it's just it was heavy and the times I've been having for a lot of people and I was really thinking what was an antidote what was the solution to really like us feeling better like to us like creating a better environment for ourselves from the inside out like just from how I could feel better as a person so how you could feel better on the next woman a man could feel better and I felt that the practice of love and acknowledging that love is is the antidote and God in that love was was what the reason I really wanted to create this book and and I and I did it by telling my German you know like telling some of my stories but um I just wanted people to have tools and resources along wherever else we get our tools and resources to to say man this is how I can apply this in my life to feel optimistic about the times we live in it to feel optimistic about myself even if I've been through some of the roughest things I know that I can overcome these things because of the love I have for God and love I have herself and how to apply that love so that's really why I wrote it it's tremendous first of all thank you for writing it love is powerful it really is and sometimes you know as believers you know we believe in love what we're called to love but sometimes we feel like love isn't enough and that could be because of what we think love is we think love is an emotion but but you talk more about love you talk about love being far more than an emotion but in action yeah and and it's a powerful action and I appreciate that because a lot of times I've discovered that sometimes people just want to fight yeah they don't they don't really like I've been attacked in the past for promoting love during tumultuous times it doesn't mean that I love everything that goes on or I love everything that takes place but but I think it's courageous and bold to make that statement as as a man of influence who's in culture to say you know what we got a lot of problems it's gonna take a lot of solutions to solve them but in my opinion love is gonna fix it I commend you for that from where we come from sometimes is like oh man that's kind of soft you know like what are you doing but I feel like it's more necessary now more than ever and the things that I've learned you know as a man some things have been great and some things I have to unlearn and I'm and and unlearning for me part of it is like being able to express love and be like embrace that I'm expressing love and Express that love like in a way that I could be humble and still be confident be a king but also be a servant you know and my thing my thing is right that's been that's been and my thing is like it it it's work though like SPT you're saying like I wasn't talking about like their love like oh yeah I'm just gonna say love and that's it and like you know it's just like a floating fluffy thing I'm thinking about it as an active action like a practice that we do and it takes in the work is because man it's not every moment that we want to express love it's like that's not realistic for any human being on this planet so I'm I try to figure like how can I feel I feel a certain emotion of anger at times I feel a certain emotion of despair like when I'm angry how can I find love in that moment because that's gonna be the only thing that's gonna be the best solution and resolution to whatever the situation is and and obviously I don't always reach that level every time but as I practice it more it starts to become more a part of me I got you know more and more just resources of what to do or being able to step back and just take inventory of myself and look at myself and say okay don't don't snap in this moment like I mean I we owe all my moments end up because I travel a lot a lot of my moments end up being in the airport where I want to snap by even today when we was traveling to Tamara and I was like a god it just challenged like man don't put your bag there because you know it's gonna mess up the Hat and you just said it in a hat and he was like just gonna mess up the hat box and you know he just said in a kind of way that made you want to snap back but I really just took a little inventory of myself and I believe Tamara did too Terrence somebody I worked with very close on partner mind but I think we both had they're kind of like gather ourselves with and that and that's the type of love I'm talking about practicing and we're talking about it on greater levels - I'm talking about like forgiveness for those who've heard us the type of love you know on being able to love somebody even when you don't with him but you know they may have a whole different belief system but you still find loving it and I'll talk about that black panther type of love where you're going to I'm fighting to that's that's part of love to man love made just laying down you know I love it I completely agree it's funny you mention that my mother and father wore Black Panthers and it was interesting because they were two different types of people my mother was extremely compassionate she was just a lover even to this day she'll give you the her last she has a challenging time receiving but she will give her last but what drove and my father was a completely different and he was on the militant side he's like what you know he you know but um but what what what drew her to the party was the fact that they were feeding there was a lot of benevolence in in what they did jesus said that the world wouldn't know the church by our love I mean like little he said that one of the things that one of the things he prayed he prayed in John 17 that we would be one but he told his disciples I'm telling they've got the love that you have for each other is going to be so impactful that it's going to in essence make people believe in me that's why I say love is powerful I think that people are desperate for love about the church I really want to be you know like well we do something here and not that where the you know the only you know prototype or whatever but but we go into the prisons which we're gonna talk to you but this common guys that as well thank you so much we we go into the prisons we have like a Food Bank we have yes praise the Lord wonderful people pastor Calvin others take care of that so that's you know kind of like what Jesus talked about doing going into the prisons feeding people you know and I think that that the church has quite frankly a PR crisis right now not the whole church but some of the church and I think that your message about about love and it's really God's ministers I fully believe guys I'm reading this book and I just see the Bible all in this book and common God has given him a unique ability to use language that appeals to mass audiences and he is presenting God but but I think that you know we can be more loving we can love an action continue to go to the prisons continue to feed people and continue to look for ways to uplift people I think that the church this is wonderful we meet on Wednesdays we meet on Sundays we get filled up we get charged up that's wonderful but if our entire experience with God stays in these four walls I think we've missed it entirely because you know I often you know I often want like when I go into the neighborhoods and I'm talking to people I'm talking I'm talking about God too but I try to you know I try to I want to do it in a way that it that they receive it to like and you know obviously I don't i personally don't go by certain rules that that i feel like the church structure has had not every church like you said but but um and I felt like that's been helpful towards me relating to to a lot of people who you know always I love the passages in the Bible about the lost coin or you know or the prodigal son you know like the people that are lost I'm always I want to seek the loss and not saying we all got some we all have flaws and and none of us are perfect but I'm I want to be in in the neighborhoods like letting people know who God is and God is God is not only like just what some people have have like put in a box you know yes no and and and and you're doing it we had a talk of conversation similar to this at the writers guild last week and one of the things that I felt it was important for me to do as a related to Rashi door it was common but it's you tell me your name yeah my name is Rob but I see that's my middle name but all my friends call me Rossi one of the things that I felt it was important to do in that setting particularly in LA that's kind of our homes was to affirm him in the fact that he's a man of God and sometimes when you don't stand in a pulpit or you don't have you know an m.div or dr. so-and-so in front of your name a degree in theology sometimes is it might be difficult for you to connect with the fact that that God is using you and God can use you and I'm telling you I've seen him going to the prisons I'm reading his book and when I tell you it is full of the wisdom of God is full of the Spirit of God and I just think it's it's worthy of affirming you in that again because here's the thing no one can argue with love the reason why Jesus says hey I need you to go out and demonstrate my love the great commandment love the Lord your God with all your heart mind soul instead of your neighbor as you love yourself that's loving God loving self loving neighbor it's powerful you you wrote something in your book that I want to read and I think it's amazing it says to be loved is to be seen and when it comes to faith in God we hope we are seen by the divine that were not forgotten left down here to figure it out all for ourselves and when a human rest their eyes on us sees us our one individual and unique body among a sea of bodies in a party or on a city block we feel activated brought forth chosen more times than not we just want to be seen recognized and cherished we do not want to be ignored for real and so sometimes your most powerful sermon is to love somebody to honor them is to acknowledge them and I just love the way you do that I think it's important no I give thanks yeah I don't know I think like when we just acknowledge a human being I think we are kind of recognizing that God in them like and God in ourselves and it's like also you kind of you basically saying hey man I do honor you and I acknowledge you as a human being as the living creation of the Creator just by me speaking to you as a simple act sometimes I believe in that small gesture you acknowledging and showing love to a human being it's other gestures obviously you can get his you know his great is going out to you know to the prisons or going out to to help someone in other ways but I still believe from the smallest acts we showing love for God and I and I and I just feel like no matter how big you get as artists or you know as a pastor you know entertainer athlete how much money you got then we all just children of the Most High and I don't you know none of that to me not none of that denotes me to treat somebody less than you know and that to the level of respect is just has to be given for as far as I'm concerned like if I give respect even if I and this is something I'm talking about as far as learning about love to even if I have a boundary and say you know I might not want to do like I give a quick example sometimes people might come up in and they on a picture and I'll take a picture but then they'll come back and say I want to FaceTime with my homie and and I'm like all right I I can't face time right now cuz I'm doing something I have a boundary but I treat them with respect no matter what but but it's also like I'm serious I do treat her with respect but but I mean I learned to have boundaries for myself and that's love for self too like this is very important you know absolutely we're going to get into self-love because you've got some wonderful things to say about let's self-love but just to piggyback on what comment said I think that sometimes relationships don't work whether they are romantic relationships familial relationships even sometimes professional relationships because we don't honor each other yeah if you were here on Sunday I talked about how when you honor somebody it brings out the best everybody has something to give everyone that we are creating the image of God means that we possess some unique gift regardless of you know socio-economic distinction we have something to give and what I've learned is when I honor people whether it's my wife or whether it's my staff or whether it's my children when I speak to the God in them and I affirm them and I don't you know focus on what's wrong but but celebrate them there's always something that I get back from them and sometimes what I get back from them is a better version of themselves and so so honor is to the human like the same as what Sun and rain is to a garden right and I just believe that love is honor yeah and I you know I heard your sermon that day and I was like man that's such a wise way that you put it because you know for people who out who are out there too that are leaders or even obviously as parents to like man is just honoring your child to just hearing them out means something and you know I know a lot of our traditions you know I was raised in the house and my mom's like you do what I say shut up but do what I say you know and we all had that but I think you know we are learning more than just giving our children a chance to express themselves and and hear them out is like teaching them how to express themselves and they won't be afraid so it's himself and it's actually honoring them as individuals that still doesn't mean they not go do what you say but that that meant that they got to they got to be heard and one of the most important things that I think what you know as you saying is honoring each other it's like man we all want to be heard we all want to be seen I mean I started rapping because I wanted to be seen I wanted to be acknowledged there's something in this world you know they're saying so and and we are honestly in certain ways or another some some of us I can't say all have had issues with we're not being acknowledged whether it's because of abandonment or whatever has occurred in our lives you know sometimes we weren't acknowledged and we got to kind of build from a deficit when it comes to getting that acknowledgement but I mean we really recognize that that acknowledgement comes in in and God acknowledging us once we got that we fool no matter if a human being doesn't give us that acknowledgement or we were wounded in the past by something we still understand that the love of God fills us up yeah absolutely I think is also very dismantling as it relates to an argument we're moving into what could be prayerfully it won't be but what could be based on history a contentious political process with the 2020 elections how cool would it be if instead of arguing slinging mud we try to find in our opponent sometimes it could be difficult but with God all things are possible yes we find help me Jesus there's something in there because there is something there but but what if what if on the campaign trail and I'm just dreaming we just doing it right now somebody said you really are dreamin but I really wouldn't pray but what if what if and what if we created a culture I'm trying to start a love revolution we're trying to start a love revelation but what have we created a culture that that's worthy of applause we're even in our disagreement even in our disagreement we were honoring an honorable said something kind and affirming about the one perhaps who we're trying to unseat right I mean I think that's the that's the level that first lady Michelle Obama talked about when she said when they go low we go high that um I mean but it takes it takes a lot and it takes us to communicate in that way and also have that it's almost like we gotta have a collective agenda of that we gotta find it in ourselves and then remind each other come on man like we ain't even got a function function in that way like because we will dispel a lot of energy towards like bringing somebody down like whether it's a political person I mean so many people are unhappy with the political environment but I I subscribe to what you're saying like man I mean I could find something good in almost anything and I can like gift that energy send that energy that way and also stay on my mission it's something that like my mother always like she's been recently even telling me like man sometimes when you're feeling that angst about the toys somebody just put a light around them visualize a light around them like God's light around them and it really has helped me to do that because sometimes I'm like jealous of a surge somebody got a role I wanted and when somebody did something and I they made me like unhappy and I'm like man I'm just trying to put that light around him and eventually it start working subsides you know it does and I I think you know uh supplying that that mentality towards this political environment will I think will get us in the right space where the week where we could be clear and go forward and in the right way man like like listening and really observing we're gonna be the right leaders for us because in that in that sphere because our leaders are not some of the leaders now are not honoring people they're not honoring individuals that live in America they like not honor and and and it is difficult when somebody not honoring you for you to honor them yes but I do believe that is what God called us to do I feel like you know we have to be the leaders no matter not not just saying just the pastors and the artists but I'm saying we as the people no matter where we sit a stand we have to be leaders in this culture and in this world as children of God and that and that leadership takes that digging deep to the person that you really might even despise and still send them love you know you know the Bible says that the church is the light of the world Chuy's the light of the world and Jesus as I mentioned earlier as a reference he said that people are gonna know that that Christ came because of our love what if our job in this season more than anything else is to educate the world to educate culture and society on love yeah I think it's profound when I read this book I saw through your journey and there's so much I mean he talks about so much he talks about his love for God he talks about the love of God those are two different things but they're connected our love for God ultimately has to do with the love of God we love God because God first loved us and we sense his love we affirmed by his love he talks about the love of self and then he talks about the love of others and that's that scripture you know when Jesus was as hey and they were trying to trip him up with rules and regulations they like which is the greatest commandment let's get into this argument basically he said oh that's easy he said love the Lord your God with all your heart all your mind all your soul all your strength and then he says and love your neighbor and this is just like it it's equal love your neighbor as you love yourself and so the sequence there is not loving God loving neighbor loving self the sequence is loving God loving self and then loving neighbor as you love yourself and I think that oftentimes the reason why we can't love our neighbor well get to in that PC get to a big seat come on let's become they get to it it's because we don't we don't love ourself well and so maybe we can talk a little bit about about about self-love because some people like some people are nicer to others than they are to self like what's that about man speak on it yeah I mean I have to say you know I was one of those people to be honest um kind of you know some people say a people-pleaser where you wanna and I didn't discover I didn't like truly like love myself at the in the way I should until I was in a breakup I was in love in a relationship and when we broke up I was like you know I was down I was I was hurt and uh as I was going through this process I was like God what you want me to learn because this pain is I'm carrying his pain this is tough and uh like what what lesson am I supposed to get out of this and what I really discovered in at that time was that I was willing to dim my light for for others like in that relationship I was like Jim in my life just because just because I wanted to please the relationship and and I learned at that moment like I was putting more value in in others than I was in myself and and on that that process it helped me because I started to like and in the crazy part was I was already at a point like wow at first I thought I'll like love myself enough because I was like man I'm a hip-hop artist out there I got you know these things going on and I feel good or in this way but I saw through relationship that that wasn't it I wasn't there yet and I really started to really work on myself and work on loving myself more and that meant building my relationship with the creator in a stronger way that meant having those affirmations it did where I'm just declaring it in the morning like what I want for the day the things that I see within myself and just like recognizing that man it's a it's other great people here but I don't have to dim myself to make them feel better if they feel out of out of whack because I'm shining and that's on them like so took some lessons and work to get to get to that point you talk in the book about when you sat down with Michelle Obama and and she said something to the effect of you know in love you you gotta compromise you don't always get everything in one person which I fully believe but also and this doesn't contradict that this balances that statement is you also talked about how you know you can be in a relationship and it's not love if you keep giving away pieces of yourself to try to make you don't have to sacrifice who you are that authenticity I think that's right that's it Petey because of course in any relationship you got to make sacrifices I mean that's what relationship is obviously there for us to like some of those areas where we may be selfish we we learn to create space for others and we learn how to deal with that and that's what relationship rings I mean all types of relationship but it definitely you know partnership and romance and marriage can can bring that out of you but it is a balance and learning that balance of like okay I'm I'm willing to compromise and give these things to to better you and the better us but if I'm sacrificing things that really matter in my value system or in my life and and things that are like going towards what I was my purpose I can't leave my purpose behind to try to in a compromise you know what I mean like that and it for me it was just like recognizing like I still God gave me a pass and at times if it's times it's like if my mother don't agree with that path if my lady don't agree with that path as much if my team don't agree with that path if I hear the voice of God telling me that's where I need to go I'm going there and-and-and-and mama mom will understand later it's like my mother well my mother um when I told my mother I wanted to leave school to rap she was like what you crazy like like cuz you know she's a educator and she was like dude I was at Florida A&M University like um and I was doing well so when I told I wanted to leave school she was trippin and that she like out you trippin and now she like hurry up and do another harm I need a new guy you know that me you know I need to take yourself on a boat you know but you know what was cool and what are you saying is very important because I can't think of anyone right now particularly in an hour Aaron our age could we're about the same age that has had the consistency the longevity the the evolution of career from from rapping to rapping and producing to acting to producing television to to film to authorship I can't think of too many people who have had the trajectory that you've had but but beyond the trajectory the consistency and and how much of that had to do with you being completely authentic and true to yourself in in an industry where oftentimes it's difficult to do so and that I tribute that is the core reason why I feel like I've been able to evolve as an artist and expand in these ways I mean it's being true to myself means like I know that I know where it's coming from God is giving me this purpose and this purpose is like a path and as I see it expand I honor that and being and that is being true to myself at times where I'm like like basically it's times where I felt like I wanted to do things and I just saw that it was something I should do and I'm supposed to do and I prayed on things and listened and saw when it resonated with me I just went after you and the things that didn't resonate with me like like acting was something that I felt was when I went to the acting class I was like this is for me I have a long way to grow to be great at it but I know I can do it and and you know it was other things I tried to play the piano and I just weren't good and I had to recognize that's not a gift guy gave me you know we got to recognize those things right but that I believe that being authentic to who I am too was like is is founded in spirituality that's the first thing but also like within that knowing where I am at the moment like I've done music projects where I've been like out there doing like music that was influenced by Jimi Hendrix and Pink Floyd and and like so the hip hop industry was like man what you doing dog this is like just too out there but I was true to myself and that this particular album called Electric Circus it wasn't received in the best way when it came out but years later people was like man you know what I respect you for doing that and I and and actually I went back and listening to it and it's good and it's like you know and not everyone said that but some people that were initially like this is trash was like this is actually good but what I learned through that process was the true I am to me the more longevity the more value it has the more resonates and and and honestly is something that you and Pastor Sarah talk about a lot to its purpose the more when I know I'm operating in purpose it's like it's gonna do what it's supposed to do now that might not mean it might not have a hundred thousand record sales 100 thousand streams if but it still might impact somebody that needs it and and you never know what that wave is gonna go it's like that when John Legend and I did this song glory honestly we honestly we we were like that was like one of those things where I was I was pitching myself I was already a part of the movie but I was saying man we want to do a song for the film but they had other people in mind but I remember I was on the phone talking some to my manager and close friend and I and it just hit me man it was like God spoke to me and I said I'm gonna call you back I'm about to call John Legend now thank you thank God I could call John Legend but I called John Legend and took that moment and I listened man and and I told him what we were doing and we created this song and the song went on to to go on and win Academy Awards and things but the thing is the thing that was most valuable was like I knew I was up there and purpose I know it was bigger than what we were doing it was bigger than us we were standing like in in the tradition of the people who the women and men of the civil rights movement we were standing in in there for people who were young brown and black people who were getting shot down by the police at that time there we were standing up for God when we were on stage so I was like man if I'm being true to myself this is the way it's going to resonate and that's what I understood I've got chills thinking it's it's a powerful lesson because there was a moment this inspiration came and there was a moment and and there was an opportunity and you could have like a lot of people do talk to yourself out of it and I remember there that time you know not you've never wavered but I thought because you were full of faith I didn't know if you would think and otherwise but you did it and you stepped into it I feel like there are moments and windows and and a window doesn't stay open forever and and and if you don't seize that moment if you don't trust and believe that you have heard from God and sometimes God speaks through inspiration it's interesting the Holy Spirit he's the spirit the word it's a Newton word pneuma in the Greek and it means breath and and it has the idea of inspiration in it so sometimes God will come to you in a breath in an inspiration the all scriptures inspire it's an inspiration and if you don't move in the window of the opportunity of that inspiration you can miss Grammys or you can miss Oscar you can miss I think you got it was a Golden Globe for that as well yes yeah I mean it I'm so glad you brought that up too because normally honestly in my operation the way I operated I wouldn't call on John I'd be like I don't want to call on him to do this but that was one of the first times that I just took that that voice and didn't look back well whether they were like well we thinking about getting this person and that person to do it I never looked back and I just was like and I just went kept going forward with it and and it really taught me a lesson I learned to embrace those things and pay attention to that more and and also recognized even when that voice comes sometimes I made expect it to be this one thing but it may end up being something else so yeah so that's where that's what I can say a lesson I got out of that that whole experience and and I and I strive to move with that now yeah first of all we can take this way because it also took a level of boldness because sometimes God brings resources to you via relationships you know I tell people like look if you need something you know hit me up and I actually mean it I'm not kidding if I say I want so everybody that but but certain people I say you know I told a guy the other day I was having lunch what I hadn't see him a long time I'm like look man and I know that I can help him in a lot of ways right based on where he is in his life but you didn't say I don't want to bother John with that there was a level of boldness sometimes you have to cash in the chips of your relationships I don't think that it's about using people you never should be a user because users are losers you know but but but also you have to fight against that that thought that tries to talk you out of kashi in its best way to put cashing in on the wealth of relationships I think that that cashing in is if you're doing it from the intention that we're talking about then that intention is never using right because like your intention our intention my intention was like John we can make something that can be incredible and it's bigger than us and I was inspired by that spirit my intention was was solely that to you know to create and I think our intentions are one of the most important things we have that's why even when I'm talking about love it's like if I say love but my intention is not really love then that's not even love really to be honest like and and and some people can feel that and they know you when you just like giving the words and saying the things but you're not really meaning it and I think I'm one of the most important things we got is is our intention in fact Oh Oprah Winfrey Oprah Winfrey said that to me one time you know I'm not trying to act like I got friends in high places but what I'm not trying to act like it but I do now never seriously I was just in I was in the film Selma with and we and she was talking about it in it in the makeup trailer and she was like man your intention is one of the most important things you had I kind of went home and was like trying to marinate on it because Oprah said you knew I felt like it was the the wisdom like let me think of this from every dimension and it was it it didn't hit me that man if my intention is in the right place then even if somebody doesn't receive it you know I can I can sit with that I mean I can live with that and you know and eventually let them know if they fade you know that this is what my intention was and if they still don't receive it I know I came from a place of a right intention in love what motive is everything motive there's a passage that says that that man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart and what you said it really blessed me personally because even as a pastor as a leader you know you know I pastored this church that Pastor another church this is full blown and really full disclosure and the church survives literally off of the tithes and the offerings of the community it is a nonprofit organization every other type of business has a product or service that they can sell and set the price points in such a way they can be profitable and that's how they grow and expand the church can't do that so we literally are dependent upon tithes and offerings you know with multi-million dollar budgets every year to meet and when I first started pastoring I planted my own church and and sometimes you want to be so unlike maybe some of the abuses that you've seen that you begin to abuse yourself and abuse people so for like the first five years of the church I'd never my whole you know appeal for tithes and offerings was at this time we receive our tithes and offerings and and the church couldn't do anything we couldn't grow we couldn't move we couldn't get buildings we couldn't bless the poor we couldn't do those things but one day I got a revelation and and and it was self-love and it was about being true to self first of all I give tithes and offerings like all the time like ten percent of what I get goes to the house of God like ten percent that's just the basic from there I gave offerings not just to the church but all around I got I literally take cash out every week to give to people but the point that I'm making is I got delivered from that real quick septum bills came in and my offering talks got a little bit longer but but what but what but what help me is is I knew that I wasn't an abuser I knew I was a man of integrity I'm not going to you know mismanage resource and that sort of nature so I'm not gonna let what I think somebody out there might say oh and he's just talking about money or he wants to get a rolls-royce or something like that I can't let even if they would have feel that way I couldn't receive that and and the the blessing is obviously the church grew we're able to do more and do things like you know have a food bank and have some of the other things that we do but then the people also got benefited because it is more blessed to give and receive and when you tithe you do get blessing who in here can testify to that God is really so I was I was holding because I had this fear of how I would be perceived I was holding the church back I was holding my vision back and quite frankly I was holding the people back so so as long as you know your motive is right your intentions all right and good you got a go for it man hey y'all we gotta listen to that because that right there is so important because so many times like I could say when I spoke earlier about not one people to feel like um while I was doing my life for other people it was because of how I thought they would perceive me and and I wasn't thinking about like man what I really meant or how I truly felt and like being able to express it but I was like man how is this person gonna look at me and man if we operated out in our truth and it's coming from that place that we're talking about of love then man it that person's perception really doesn't matter sometimes you just gotta show them through action anyway like no matter what so absolutely in your book you talk about a lot of things comment talks about he talks about everything your transparency is absolutely breathtaking it's not that you're not transparent because you are open but to put it all out there for the world to see I think is amazing one point in the book that really stood out to me is you talked about your journey of growth in your relationship with your Amoy yay it really blessed me I've got daughters my daughter Tara is here tonight one of my daughters but but talk to us about what happened between you and ammo yeh and and and how it shapes your perspective of love and relationships of vulnerability yeah well you know Moya and I amore is now 21 years old and basically when when she was born I was a young man just and and her mother and I didn't say together but only for a year after she when she turned 1 so the the me being a father was a it was a battle in certain ways just you know just the truth of the matters you know so baby mama baby baby mama baby daddy's relationships are real like we understand that and that's what you know everybody experiences no matter how much class you got no matter how much money you got people experience they'll you know the emotions of that so uh in many ways I wasn't able to be the father that I really would have loved to have been but I did think that I was there in a way that was like Rick just showing out of love and I kind of felt she understood it and that she got to be a teenager it was even stronger and things were great overall but fast forward to about a year and a half ago two years ago she called me late night one night and um I thought it was a great I thought it was a good call cuz she was calling me just talking regular and then um eventually I said I'll call you back it cuz I was really late and I had to get up early and she called me back and she started just spewing out these things saying you you ain't even asked where I was that you ain't see if I was okay you like you're not a good father and it really struck me and I told her I wanted to talk to her about it tomorrow cuz she had been drinking that night and and yes you drinking see that college drinking a kickin it so we talked about it and then we talked about it in person and what she was she said to me was that she felt that I didn't fight for her when she was younger and she brought up other things like you know she said well you were always on tour and then she said you know like man you didn't even want to pay for me to take the SAT and I was like you really believe that like and but my initial emotion was I was I was getting defensive I was getting I was hurt I was mad at some of the things she was saying and something just hit me at a certain point where I was like you know what I need to just be quiet and listen to her because this is her perspective this is what she feels I don't whether I agree or not this is her this is this is what she's experiencing this is how she's received this and you know it what it taught me in that moment and it became part of the way I try to practice my love is to listen I just decided to listen to her and and not listening I'm really paid off because she felt she felt she was being heard and though I couldn't resolve everything that she felt from the past and I didn't try to fix everything in that moment just her being able to tell her perspective and me not trying to argue why I was a good father just let her know that she was hurt and she was careful and she felt loved in that moment to be honest this is powerful he's speaking from the perspective he's speaking from a post conversation perspective but I want to slow that process down a little bit because here he is he is providing for his daughter he's doing the best that he knows to do you are not absent from her life you're working hard which meant that to a certain degree you had a right to feel like you were at minimum a decent father you had the right to feel that way right so this is his posture is position this is important an important lesson for all of us when she initially begins to confront him and and you know about the things that she said his initial action was defensiveness and I don't want to brush over that too quickly because he said and then I don't know what happened but something said just listen I think that all of us are susceptible to being defensive when life challenges us in an area where God wants to grow us and and and I think it's important to be self-aware to recognize one things I love about Jesus is Jesus never tried to defend himself I'm telling you I am the son of God I promise I am the Christ he never did that he's going to the cross you don't see him trying to fight back and you know somebody tell him you don't mean you know none of the angel with you none of that he he was he was so confident in who he was that he could take what was coming at him and I think it's important there's some and it could be in a in a marriage relationship and a parental relationship in a of true friendship I think that a true friendship necessitates friction if everybody around you agrees with you I'm not sure you got the right crew because because I cannot grow I can't grow with without friction as iron sharpens iron a man sharp as we talked about a Sunday a man we sharpen each other everybody around you thinks like you never disagrees I've never either you're lying you know or you're crazy and so so I think that I think that we have to really recognize that defensiveness is sin now what is sin sin the Greek word for sin is Hermit EEMA it means to miss the mark what mark the mark of you being everything that God has called you to be so I love the fact I think that that would hit you in that moment where all of a sudden you had the calm and the peace and the resolve and the whiz to just listen to your daughter which is what started the healing process I think it was love I think the love because only the love of God can make you feel so protected that you don't have to be defensive you feel me because the love of God is a defence I'm love nothing can be taken from me in this moment right and I think that that's I think your relationship your love relationship with God heals your relationship with self because if I know that no matter what God loves me yes that God values me he honors me he sees me even when I'm broken he acknowledges me then it frees me to take whatever corrective criticism whatever we're at least open because if I love to the overflow by God nothing can be taken from me yes yes yes yes yes and I think me feeling our love I knew I was gonna have to do some work and I was gonna have to work and that work was like work on this relationship with the Moyer and and I really take time to listen and be present and figure out ways that we can like discuss these things in a healthy way and I continue to listen to her and and really try to show up in areas where I may have normally thought everything was okay you know like oh man I I'm thinking you everything is good I'm showing up at these times that you're saying but and but a lot of it is not I guess it was awareness that I needed to have and some of it is now that we have that communication like you said that challenge brought our relationship to a better place because that challenge let us communicate in a more honest way she had been harboring those feelings for a long time but when she finally was able to confront me with him now she feels even closer to me because she's been able to be herself more and not like harbor the feelings that she had and be afraid to express her the this story in the book is absolutely everything because it plays itself out in so many relationships and there was a moment where you had to take ownership sometimes was so busy defending ourselves that we don't hear our crimes because we're not human we have sometimes we have and I call them crimes that's just the word I use right there but but our violations are our offenses sometimes we're so busy you ever been in you ever seen two people you have never done this okay you you got this all figured out but you haven't seen two people and they it seems like they're communicating but they're not you ever been in the conversation and you're thinking about what your response is going to be to the last point made while they're still talking and you completely miss the point because you're so busy desiring to defend yourself that you missed the opportunity some people just want to be listened to and then you took ownership yeah can I say something like it is I gotta say you as a friend I wanted my only only people that I like talked to and I talk long y'all see I talk long you talk a lot but Peachy will actually listen some meets a lot until I finish he don't even start cutting me off or anything and I'm like man this dude is really listening man and I really appreciate that in a friendship like cuz I have to work to not get me like get my point across I want to know people you just talking about it's like I know you're not in here but yeah you sitting right across from one one of them that people just like okay I'm like but this this actual situation was not like the seed the incubus for me to be like a man listen like listen even listen to your enemies listen to him yes like listen listen to your mothers she telling you these things I know you heard it before but listen you know and I'm really learning and it's a lesson it's very helpful to me like being a better human being but I appreciate that you in that in you as a as a person as a friend cuz I've watched you I say man this listen to my whole all my citizens I can't believe it thank John alert I'm trying to learn I mean I'm serious I'm reading this book and I'm just I'm serious I'm blown away at your life I think that so it's a memoir so it's obviously about his life but all these truths and all this wisdom is through your experiences are you know woven in there it's just I want to hear you talk I want to hear you talk you you learned a lot you've seen a lot you've been amongst the grey one of the things that I really appreciate you is your humility you know as I mentioned before you know he'll be in the airport and he and he'll take a picture like he's you know like so he comes to the church in LA and and 99 percent of times sometimes just crazy and we do have to do something special just to even get him in and to get him out before the most part you know he's just parking you know and just get out and go and sit down low special seating you know he just wants to come and I just I so respect that I've got guys that that god bless them but they don't have anywhere near the influence that you have and they're calling the office and you know and what's the VIP seats and all that kind of stuff and that's wonderful I don't mind that however you roll but I just really admire your humility and I think that's one of the reasons why God continues to raise you up and will continue well I mean I do I do first of all I do like coming to one church is like man it's a peace for me I need and I need that and I and I I feel like you know no walking in the church is no celebrity and all that don't for me doesn't matter we all just in there to celebrate worship God and listen to these great pastors give us a word that we can apply in our lives but that being said on New Year's services I'll be calling you try to get it you try to get that now but seriously I mean I it's it's crazy super back then but but but I do look I do believe that I read I read the Bible like I read the Bible everyday in the morning this month one of the things that that grounds me for the day I'm and and and sets my intention in the right place so I know no matter where I'm going I know what my foundation is knocking and I've already fed myself what the best food that I can have in in life right so but one of the things that that that I've learned is like to be humble and and that humility that that is that is talked about by Jesus and it's talked about a lot in the New Testament I'm like I work to apply it and it is something to like and that's the balance of life so to be able to still be confident and be you know um courageous and be bold but also still be humble um and and I think you know that's where we go through our journey to find the balance in life and I think you know I think me me being like a humble person and working in striving towards that towards God's humility and knowing that all comes from God has allowed me to go to places where it ain't even about talent some people just want to be around good people and and and that's honestly where I end up in some of the places I end up in it's amazing I mentioned your vulnerability in the book he also opened up about being molested as a youngster why did you what did you feel it necessary to disclose that what did it was it therapeutic for you did you what what was your reason for including that part well I you know I was molested when I was nine years old by older like play cousin he was my god brothers cousin well I was really close with in love and but you know I was molested by and this is something that I didn't like acknowledged at all in my life thirty years plus and I honestly didn't even know it existed after a while you know MIT your memories is something how we deal with trauma in certain ways because my memory was like I honestly forgot about it like that was my way of dealing with it and I so happened to be doing a film called the tale I was an actor in a film called the tail and and the tail was about child sexual abuse the writer and director he wrote just she wrote the story it was her life well we were in the scene and I we were rehearsing the scene and I and I actually um with the actress Laura D'Arnot I told her you know what I think I was molested I think this happened to me and she you know and as I started to share whether all the memories started to come back about it and I recognized it as the truth that I hidden for so long um at that moment I didn't just start healing immediately I was just going through the process not even talking about it much I kind of still just knew that it was something that happens to me but I wasn't ready to share it as I started to write in this book and write this book and to go through my journey I was peeling off a lot of layers putting off a lot of layers of things that I hidden for myself things that I was learning about through therapy and different things about myself that I was like man opening up to a new me and I actually wrote because I was writing them and I wrote our album inspired by the book I actually started to write about this situation of being molested in a song and I shared this song with Tamara who's here and and and I talked about said I don't think I'm gonna put it in the book because music felt like such a safe space for me like I always put a lot of stuff in music the music felt so safe that I was like I'm just gonna keep it in the music I'm not gonna put it in the book and we talked about it as soon as I think it's worth it and then I started I went home and thought about like how many times I've read books to help enhance my life and shake my life and and I thought excuse me I thought about how many black men have experienced this and never talked about it I thought about how many women young women black brown of all colors experienced this and were afraid to talk about it so I said man I have to write about it I gotta write about it not only for my own healing but I have to write about it because somebody will feel confident enough to tell their story and then this cycle of abuse and and it being a kept secret yes but it's been a secret in our community for so long as people uncles you know it's cousins that have molested family members but the family won't acknowledge it because they don't want the uncle to feel bad or they don't want to put the uncle out there but what about the child yeah and yeah and and that and that happening to a child ends up can end up a child can become lost and they could become violent I've seen it I've seen it and I felt like I have to write this and tell this story because I want to be a part of stopping the cycle and and that's simply why I wrote it I'm glad you did it touched me and I won't even get into it but but it made me dig into something as well and and and I think a big part of it is you know you you forgiving him yeah you know which is which is huge I don't think that you can have a conversation about love and not scratch on forgiveness at some point because forgiveness is a part of it you can't you know I truly think that you know we know the scripture says God is love and then there's this this accountant in first Corinthians 13 where the writer basically says you can speak in tongues all you want to you can prophesy all you want to you know you can you know be benevolent all you want to but if you do not have love it says you are nothing I said you I mean that was a harsh words you know but but then it makes sense if it says if God is love then we are ultimately not just to have love but to become law to become love that's one of my favorite scriptures I first Corinthians on 13 man I love that because you know it says even with faith and hope the greatest of these is love and I'm like man I had to learn to I mean what I the reason why I talked about this story in it was because I did have to learn a forgiveness and do you have to work on forgiveness and find that level of love where if somebody who's done something that you know was damaging to me I mean and very hurtful enough where I had to hide it for myself but I knew I didn't need to carry that weight and I knew that by by channeling forgiveness towards that individual somehow God could do the work to help heal him and heal me and I was like this is this is what I need to be doing and and and because me carrying the anger and the hurt can perpetuate other cycles and when I when I and when I was talking about watching violence from somebody who was sexually abused when we have visited prisons I've talked to individuals I would say 70% of the people I met in prison have talked about being abused as children Wow and you can see and they are wise enough to trace that trauma to why they became violent and it's those things that let me say man we can stop this by talking about it by being honest about it by acknowledging and being truthful like why what is in society is and what is in our communities not allowing us to say man this is wrong and this is weak we don't have to allow this to happen we got to shut it down because like better in our communities is is it's the spiritual thing it's a it's the emotional thing too it's the social thing it's economic but we can't forget those components we got to do autos it's a you know health thing to a nutritional thing we like we got a better ourselves in every holistic way and I think you know that's one of the ways I wanted to to deal with it cuz I'm like man I'm for the people I'm for the people yeah I'm going out try to get jobs for the people I'm gonna help out prisons but am i dealing also with some of these issues that that we hidin under the table that my mother or grandmother can can attest that that may have happened to them but they don't talk about it and never did talk about it so man this generational cycles is as Sara always said those curses is we gotta stop them cursing yes but we can talk about this all night it's almost like and God often does this he uses our own journey and the healing that we receive from God on the journey to bring healing to others I think you know even as it relates to - first of all I just want to say you know in a crowd this size and obviously we've got several probably several thousand people watching this via livestream or who will watch us via livestream there's abuse right here in this room you know right here on the stage there's hey you know there's abuse I just want to you know shame oftentimes it's a big part of it you know especially for it for males you know we've been violated this this false sense of masculinity and what it means to be a man and if this happened to you you're less of a man and and but I but I just want to commend you for talking about it you had to break through many barriers to get to it and no doubt one of those barriers was shame and guilt you know I've obviously dealt with and work with a lot of people who have been abused and and just getting past the layer the layer of shame was everything but it's nothing to be ashamed of anything if anyone needs feel some sense of shame blame it's obviously the perpetrator but what one of the things I think is important is to I'll put it to you this way you can't always keep a snake from biting you but you don't have to receive its poison and I think that and I think that when you don't forgive when you when you hold on to it you know there's another there's a passage that says don't be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good I think that when something happens to you and you keep it in the dark that allows that evil that happened to you to stay present in your life and I think the first step to your point is to share it too you know I believe in therapy you know counseling we have counselors here in our church you know licensed therapists and you know you just got it you gotta go after it yes you do and uh like as you speak of therapy like that's been one of the things that's been very helpful to me because I always had people to talk to like my uh my Maddy was she was my hood therapist for a while sometimes but having that person that really can really can absorb in in a non-biased way they listen to you and give you really feedback to understand yourself more and really give you tools to work through these situations because I found I went to a therapist because I found myself repeating the same things when it came to relationships and I was like man what what is it in me that is making me do this like whatever why do I keep behaving in this way and the therapist that I worked with really helped me identify those things and work through those things and be more present in relationships to not bring old wounds to my present relationships and the beautiful thing is like she's she one of the things that helped like really ground me and and and many of these times where I'm like I am chasing certain things she was like remember God's love is filling you up you have God's love in your heart so you don't need that person sir took to verify your you don't need that person to make you feel like you were something and you know and I'm bringing that up because sometimes in church and in our communities we feel like therapy we got God we don't need therapy but God works to people yeah I works through different techniques to me and and ways to search and I think you know our process of building our relationship with God has to be something that things that work for us to get closer to God we know when we get into our higher self and I was chipping off all these things to help me get to my Higher Self and this has been the truest I have been in my life and it's you know a bit the truest to me I've ever been and it feels great even at the time when I first stepped out there my first interview I was interviewing with Robin Roberts and she just went out and said yo so you were molested what is it and I didn't know I was gonna have to talk about these things like that but after I talked about it I was like man this is my truth yeah I'm actually living in my truth yes and I felt okay well even when I went around the homies and they asked me about it I just still was like okay well yo I am Who I am this happened to me I'm not gonna carry that shame and guilt and I'm just gonna look you in your eyes and man and be Who I am and yeah that's wholeness that that literally is wholeness and even as it relates to relationships I think it's important like I don't think that you're ready to have a relationship with somebody else until you have a good relationship with yourself I feel like you know you know one time I talked about how to haves don't make a hole the phrase you complete me makes me sick it makes me absolutely sick and and and I understand the sentiment I'm in love you don't mean and and I feel like my life week we we complete each other's destiny because God brought it together you know but but we've never said of each other you know what I was just fifty percent until I met you right you know we were like we were two holes and that's what makes it awesome you know I mean I've read your book so I know that you talked about that wholeness and man I agree a hundred percent on that you complete me thing it's like man you want to be a whole person before you step into any relationship and and and and you should I mean that I don't think it's completion is more about yo we we make each other better but I'm a whole person making you better and you're a whole person making me better and even if some of that constitutes like us having some friction and challenges but we still making each other better and huh and I just you know I had to learn that nobody can't complete me but God and myself everything and literally that is what he I think that's what Jesus was talking about when he said when he was asked what the greatest Commandments were commandment is not like this religious rule that you should do for the benefit of God God doesn't need anything if there is a commandment or an instruction it is because you need it not God right so he says you should love the Lord your God with all your heart mind soul and strength let me tell you what that not is what that is not that is not this this arm bending to make you create some sort of emotion or affection towards God that is not organically there that's not what that is that is saying get to know God enter into a relationship with God and when you do and when you meet the true living father God you are gonna be so overwhelmed by how God feels about you that your natural response is to reciprocate love back it's basically saying try me test me and and when you have that type of relationship with I wouldn't serve a god that I didn't feel like loved me on that level for I couldn't do it I'm not the guy that when you scare me into into that that's not me I think the fear of God is being in awe of God right not I'm trembling God's gonna strike me down and I don't believe in that personally you know God bless you and however you role the way you roll in that respect but but but what that does is I have a better relationship with myself because how can I be insecure if a perfect being sees me perfectly and still loves me and still values me I begin to value myself and then the overflow of self love and self value is what I give to others that if that's why that commandment when you said it was Jesus he asked what I want command me but but that just sums up so much of what I want how I want to live my life and I strive for that so much because I do recognize and I have recognized that when I really like loving myself I can't hate on anybody else I can't hate on like it's just it ain't even like I don't know that it I don't even know that thought you know it's just not a thought there and I appreciate and the beautiful thing is I love being around people who love themselves too because they they give me they give me the support and I can get the support and and and now you know by striving to apply what I'm talking about when I'm when I'm a people who may not feel that way or they may be hating on me I still try to give him a love like a small example is like I you know I I used to have to go into the clubs and like do promotions for records and stuff captain yeah he just had to date we had to go to club well yeah I mean it was I should be part of like you know part of water but part of what the promotional I was I should be tired of being in new clubs Meno like man I'm good like I don't want to have to go I get at 1:00 in the morning go party with job ready to go home you know one like one and preaches this feel called to the club I feel like my ministry I just I just yeah but I would be in those clubs you know in the club and you know I would see people that would just be giving me that look like our common think er that you know and like just give me that look like aw man you know you're charming you know that I could read all the thoughts I see me right but man I honestly would just go up to them be like what's up brother and man it automatically just disarm and they were just like from that moment on it was like that I could feel him like embracing me and and I and I bring that up to say it you know it's those times where I just had it like yous love to disarm yes certain individuals and be like man this is this is what we gonna do this how we gonna operate last thought we're gonna open up for a few questions we'll have time for a few and so if you have a question I think we'll do four I'll do I'll do we'll do six three at this might create that might but this the first the first three that gets up there that that's kinda I will do that but I love that this is a journey and you don't purport at all to have arrived in every way in every sense as it relates to love you share your journey there's a lot of wisdom in there are a lot of tools and if you don't have this book you got to get it love books but it's got to be a good book and this is a good book and I'm reading it now love is a practice you got a prob we don't always get it right but but we work at it just like with anything if we practice we get better at it forgiveness is a practice you know one things we talked about on Sunday was you know I like the fact that the word forgive has the word for in it and for obviously denotes a sequence something happening ahead of time and I think that if you're gonna walk in love if you're gonna walk in forgiveness you have to already have your one foot in forgiving someone's offense before the offense even shows up yeah so it's a practice I think it's all you said some oh I gotta find it I gotta find it I hope man I hope oh you gotta get wait wait wait you said something crazy it was absolutely oh man you talked about and shoot all right all right all right all right I'm gonna tell you what you say it okay it sit there I I should have made it I meant to make a part of it but you talked about how you make a decision to love every day you don't like rest in the fact that you were loving yesterday you start each day like it's a clean slate and you use this analogy I'm gonna mess it up you said it so beautifully and poetically that's the artist in you in the book and I really see if while I'm stalling I can come across it but you basically said that you have to make the decision to love every day and as if you didn't love before because oh here it is here okay okay it's you said I'm talking about self law this on page 34 I'm talking about self love but it's deeper than that it's a constant adjustment like tweaking the knobs to the board in the recording studio trying to create the perfect sound except in the case of love there's no end goal no stopping point in the adjusting and tweaking love is a daily practice and it calls for us to step to it every day to choose love every day though we didn't choose it yesterday and the day before I think that that's how it really works because while it's important to remember what our loved ones did for us yesterday how they stood by us defended us cared for and respected us all of that would mean very little if today they chose to no longer love us it's just this is so powerful no matter how good we were yesterday if all of a sudden I did something to betray you or dishonored you none of that would matter yeah that's powerful yeah I I wrote that in particular because I understand for me like each day is gonna be a day that I have to like journey to what love is gonna be meaning yesterday my mindful practice of me putting my hand on my heart and put my hand on my stomach might have worked for something but the next day it may not I may be feeling something else one day a scripture may have worked for me and it worked but the next day I may need something else and it and and it's also just like picking up information and tools and and accessing things so that like you have those in your in your repertoire and you can use them when you need them and knowing that the people that you actually do love and that they change to and they evolve so you you gonna have to love anew every day you know because even sometimes they not in the inner in the space to feel the love that you may be giving so you have to understand that from another place and I think you know to you know for as long as I'm on this planet I want to be working towards love and nothing God's love is the love that I'm working towards and that love is the love they're like it shows up it can show up in the highest way in my music and show up in the highest wind my acting show up in the way that I greet each individual I see it show up in a way that our Father is dropping away that I'm a friend a way that I'm a student the way that I'm a you know a leader to waited on a son I want that I'm striving for that love and I actually got to go my father used to live in Denver he passed in 2014 and I got to go to his old house today and it made me feel I felt his love like as I stared at his old house and I said man this love transition like even when he'd left I still feel his love and I just just didn't have to be at the house to feel it but if I felt that even stronger I felt this spirit there and I feel it I know that that type of love can exist beyond just us even our lifetimes so that's what I'm striving for that life that love that transcends generations yeah awesome thank you so much family this is tremendous [Applause]

Channel: ONE | A Potter's House Church

Views: 45,257

Keywords: LA Churches, TPH, The Potters House, TPH LA, The Potters House LA, One LA, Toure Roberts, Sarah Jakes Roberts

Id: CO8GGPupbJU

Length: 85min 53sec (5153 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 20 2019