learning how to be a pirate...

welcome to my ship my name is captain black larrow welcome boys i can't wait to become a pirate captain you want to become a pirate do you down there yes i watch a lot of jack black movies too i am captain black i'm not jack black so who wants to be a pirate today yeah you me over here who is saying that who up there what oh blimey what are you doing up there how did you get up there i love your ship captain black get off the walking plank you will fall in the poop deck oh [ __ ] now that that voice is how you become a pirate he's so daring i love it you yeah you come here hey you have just earned yourself a star nice thank you what is your name you know what i'll give you a name i'll call you um what should i name it what's my name skinny penis you are short dp thanks captain black actually i have a better name i'm gonna call you canon yes all right let's move over here first step to becoming a pirate is you must know how to shoot the cannon i'm not talking about this cannon we're talking about these high-powered beautiful cannons right here captain black yes laddie i do have a high-powered cannon already like you said regular can mine's already high powered um do you can't demonstrate your high-powered cannon laddie all right i'm gonna pee from this end to the other end impossible world record for toilet pissing do it now oh wow the power on that cannon okay like i said marvelous marvelous you have just earned yourself a name laddie i'll call you r no sorry i have a bad habit of ours um you your name is canon 2. what that's such a lame name bro i got the lamest name captain black is your brain fried from seaweed you can't come up with a different name for one other person i think i are i i i i die two cannons uh i actually you're cannon and he's canon too you have to earn your names this is a first ranked name i still don't have a name yet and y'all are complaining like that's what i'm saying i don't even have a full-on p stream it sort of stops every two seconds and goes back all right you know what it's a hard life i'm like you guys are right it was a little bit lazy of me to call him canon 2. it was so i'll call him hp canon 2 high powered canon get it no is he hp no no no he's just the canon he's just a kid all right i'm cool with that then you know we'll call you hp for short okay i like that okay like i was saying this high powered cannon here built from bare hands man hands not that little girl hands man hands look at these hands he has little girl hands he has little girl hands let me feel those hands no give me your hands laddie come here give me give him soft as a baby's bottom these are girl's hands you see these ants feel my hands rough sandpaper you can grind and create a diamond with just a grain of sand with these hands christie like a crab anyways so we've got these cannons here first up you just take it right here you go here and you rust you thrust the cannon thrust it yes thrust are you gonna teach us how to shoot after it comes it comes just wait you thrust and you thrust and then he's about to fire can you oh what yo that's a premature blast come here laddie you don't have the right firepower come here come here it's the first time i've ever been with again send me that bag over there grab me that yes okay in that bag here is dynamite all right you take this bag you open it grab a grain of dynamite you spark it here then you thrust again you thrust and boom you see look at the cannon look how far that went wow amazing it's incredible amazing i think you just hit a ship full of children traveling across the island i think you did hit the children ship don't mind that that was an accident r so that's how you shoot a cannon come up here so nameless you need to find a name for yourself this is how you steer the ship you know we have someone that takes control of the whip in the front back there over here this is how he dictates the direction you must be able to thrust these ropes and pull and guide us to the treasure island so no name i need you to jump up here with me one sec oh there he is right up there ah look at you a natural i'm scared of heights that is how you earned yourself the name i will call you no way we will call him yeah yeah no off no north bro that's dope when in doubt go to north let me repeat that when in doubt go north north will delete us into the right direction and that that is how you earned yourself a name come down laddie so boys what would you like to learn to becoming the best pirate on this ship ah you what's my name hp i'm hp high power that's just regular power cannon sorry it's uh it's first day talking to you guys and uh i i need to get used to these names i'm sorry yeah talk to me canon sword fighting i want to be able to use a sword captain ah we've been sword fighting for like the past couple months now there's two ways of sword fighting goddess you're gonna do it the hard way or you can do it the easy way which would you like to learn we like the hard way for the hard way for sure oh the hard way okay so you're just gonna unzip right yeah we have to unpeel if that's fine ah well we'll get to that lesson later today all right well here we are ladies so if you want to earn your keep on my ship you must clean it's all about the discipline clean you have to clean the poop deck no one likes cleaning the poop deck perfect tiny is that hp3 nah this is this is goof why they look like peepees watch your mouth you little [ __ ] no okay you don't say that [ __ ] i'm gonna watch your boy this man has washed my ship for years he's cleaned this [ __ ] he's licked the [ __ ] what have you done huh nothing so until you earn your keep until you wipe my [ __ ] you can't say anything to this man as a matter of fact i want each of you to bend the knee to goof bend the knee i would rather bend the knee to the ocean than this dude if you want to be a pirate on my ship you must bend the knee now not to him but to you now each of you grab a sponge and start wiping the deck goof show him the poop deck okay so i have wet wipes over here for captain follow him oh they're in my pocket silly goof ark hand them over let's clean this poop deck i miss them in my pocket or clorox clorox don't need it goof has ate uh some clorox wipes before i believe it or not all right it makes my poop that's a black do you want me to clean this boat or those boats right there god oh wow no you're going to clean my ship not those ships those are some big boats goof not gonna lie this baguette force won to be fair he actually stole those from my last pirate shack shaquille o'neal you were jack on this i had shaq i had shot him i saw the skills the basketball skills so i let him go on another ship and you know uh reach his full potential as a pirate yes sorry but that's how i got this new belt anyways white the poop deck come here you want to show me the ropes this is my favorite rope it goes all the way up there that's a nice rope yeah you can touch it if you want all right ladies our next test is we must show show us the plank let's give it out to good clean i haven't seen nick plank in a while how do we uh he's a three kid all right welcome to me plank all right uh the beautiful view of the island as you can see over there you see that ship over there is uh our rivals one day we will blow up that ship we will over take that ship and steal all their gems but we're not quite ready for that so until then we shall uh prepare our mental we must have strong mental hour yeah yeah and to do that we must fight fear all right so right here i'll have each of you climb up this rope all the way up to that plank which one of you would like to go first cannon i'll go first all right that's hp i was pointing to you damn it sorry all right hp climb one step at a time grab the raft i've got it i've got it um all right cannon my time to shine captain your time to shine go up there will you catch me if i fall i'm not gonna be okay i'll catch you go all right steady steady ah you're almost halfway there you're halfway don't steady left foot right foot left foot right he's gonna make it oh i'm here oh i touched it i touched the captain yes captain where are you i'm trying to get back up we need you now we've never gone this far hey captain go give me captain oh he's made it hard oh [ __ ] oh his legs chips ahoy so much blood on the poop tag give me your clorox that i gave you earlier i need to clean this up so um congratulations you've passed the test argh you are the newest pirates of my ship congratulations on surviving so we don't have insurance um we should push him off the edge no one saw that oh yes goof will take care of that that's what he's here hey come here buddy hey let's see how the water is come on it'll be fun all right ladies well unfortunately someone did not pass my pirate test but we always give a nice farewell here on my ship on the black girl yes in case you didn't know the ship is called black girl anyways goof should we say any last words this is your matey any last words any last words true i unpeeled your mother back in fifth grade i wouldn't touch him unless you have gloves on okay come on swim with me wait wait goof i have one last word for uh my fellow pirate i think this one's cannon cannon cannon was a good well actually not so good pirate but i wish him very well here in the deep sea in the deep sea he will forever be remembered and potentially found but will be so far gone it won't matter and we won't get arrested or go to jail so with that being said farewell my friend okay goodbye piss you off go swim with the sharks come on sir i think he's alive i heard noises [Applause] um you know what to be honest you kind of did me a favor there that man was literally [ __ ] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: KrisVR

Views: 80,666

Rating: 4.9814849 out of 5

Keywords: lsk, lskvr, krisvr, kristopher london, kris london, lsk 2hype, 2hype, 2hype gaming, lsk gaming, jessevr, jesser, mopi, mopvr, rickle, moochie, moochievr

Id: 3LxGFohE6Vs

Length: 13min 35sec (815 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 28 2020