Leah Darrow - Women’s Session: Femininity Restored (2021 Steubenville Main Campus 1)

[Music] [Music] if you brought with you a journal and a pen or a piece of paper and a pen or if you have a beverage napkin and a pen or something go ahead and pull that out you may want it you may not but if you have it there with you then it's always good i always like to whenever i go to talks especially even sometimes like when i go to the the mass here when i'm at the steubenville talks i like to have my little journal and my pen with me especially during the homily or during a talk during a talk because sometimes the holy spirit will give us words or just something that's gonna hit us in a certain way and so you just write it down and then you can just pray with it later all right so again my name is leah it's so good to be with you um i was happy that i got to see some of you guys last night and then for us to have this time right because it's so great when we're all together wonderful but i love the women's session when it's just us ladies right we love the guys they're wonderful i married one like they're they're they're great i love men but we need this time amen we do okay so we're going to start off we're going to go over a few things today about who we are our identity and you're like oh great here we go again leah is talking about identity but here's the thing our identity is shaped by the connections we have in our relationships with people our relationship with god and that dictates and forms and directs us for our future and our dreams and what we do in this world so it all comes back down to identity who you see yourself as how do you talk to yourself what's that little voice in your head like when you're going through your day something happens that doesn't go your way what do you say to yourself in your head do you say things like i'm so stupid god you're so dumb do you say things like you know what you tried your best and we're gonna do it again i hope you say that but the probability is that for some of us that's a that's a different script that's a different saying right we typically don't talk to ourselves very kindly and if we're not speaking kindness into our own mind based on how christ wants us to to appreciate and love the person he's made us as woman it would make sense that how we act out and how we treat other women or other men and other people in our life might be with the same tinge of unkindness does that make sense yeah so in genesis genesis uh that great first book right there are two questions that i particularly like when uh when i think about my identity there are two questions it's in genesis 3 i believe and so we're going to go over those genesis 3 now in genesis 3 let me just set the stage for you really quick okay so genesis 3 is when adam and eve god made them okay first off he made them male and female he made them in his image and likeness that's a pretty big piece not to gloss over but that's already happened god made god made the male and female and he made them in his image and his likeness not in the image of dolce gabbana or chanel okay not in the image of i don't know that person on tick tock in god's image and in god's likeness there's something divine about you just by your existence because you've been made in the image of the divine and in the likeness of the divine so god has made us he's made man and woman he has made adam and eve and he gives them this amazing area to be in right so they're in this area and he's like listen guys have fun this is my iteration of genesis you won't find that in scripture okay hey guys enjoy this i've made this all here for you all the animals the fruit the food like this is beautiful just pure beauty all around you there's no danger there's no problem it's good it's like but listen there is this one rule right you can't eat from that tree over there just just not that one that's it that's it okay so that's the rule we all know what happened right so eve is tempted by the devil is tempted by the serpent eve woman is tempted why is she tempted how is she tempted let's let's think about the the heart of eve okay because this flows right down to me and you this saturday afternoon right here how is she tempted why is she tempted what's going on in her heart the serpent tells her ah he's lying to you you're gonna be fine it's no big deal he's only telling you not to eat of that tree because he doesn't want you to be really great he wants to keep something from you it's that lie that has been perpetuated over time over history to where we are today that has kept so many of us women in chains and in slavery of who we are and not fully being authentically feminine which that term in itself i'll talk about later because what does that even mean it just sometimes it's meaningless when you say it like that authentically feminine what does that mean but we're going to talk about that because what it means is being integrated do you know what i mean when you hear the word authentic sometimes the word authentic it's been that word has been taken in our culture today to mean i'll do whatever i want to do because i want to do it because it's me it's me no no no authentic means and it's based in truth in truth and how god has made us and who god has made us as female and so the word i like to use instead is integrated because when you're authentic that means you have all the ev everything's working towards the same goal integrated to me is a more descriptive term am i integrated am i integrating my feminine in the in my life of how god has made me to be as female and so in the story of genesis eve is doubting this integration she is doubting who god made her to be she is doubting also who god is again identity identity not who we are but also in who he is because our identity is revealed in god of our father so she is doubting this and we all know what happens she she she bites she eats she eats from the tree she bites the fruit she shares it with adam adam says okay fine sure if you're doing and i'm doing it here let's all go down together and they all go and then they realize that they're naked and they are ashamed the ashamed part is the proper response to our conscience when we've done something wrong and so as this happens in genesis 3 we have these two main questions and i want you if you are if you do have pen and paper to write down these questions the first one the first one that happens after they're hiding is god speaks he is walking in the garden he can't find adam and eve and we know that when scripture says that it's just a it's but it's almost supposed to be humorous because he's god right but he god says where are you that is the sentence the question i want you to write down where are you this is when god asks a question in scripture my friends we should pay attention because god knows all so if he's asking a question he wants you to answer it he knows the answer friends he's god but he wants us to answer so god asks this question where are you he knew where they were geographically in the garden he knew that he's asking them where are you as where is your heart where is your heart so today right now god invites us into this piece and into this space and the first thing he's asking me and he's asking you is where are you so i'm going to give you just a few moments especially for those who have written it down if you don't have a pen and paper i want you to sit and think and sincerely you can close your eyes and think about this and give yourself a few minutes to answer that question where are you where are you right now we know exactly that you're in this field house area okay i'm not talking about that you know what i'm talking about where are you where is your heart in your mind list off or on paper write out list out the things that you're feeling right now what's coming to you are you frustrated are you angry are you tired are you exhausted are you confused or you just don't feel anything where are you after you get past your feelings then get into a deeper response of where are you and what i mean by that is to search deeper it's the question behind the question god asks where are you and sometimes the question behind that question is why aren't you with me right now so maybe you can answer that in your head of what's keeping you what's keeping you from taking that next step with god what's keeping you is it fear is it is it a lack of faith is it a relationship and you just don't want to admit it but you know you know you know all right we're going to go to the next question the next question in genesis that god asked that again we need to pay attention to the first one is where are you and after they respond adam and eve and they end up telling god what had happened that the serpent tricked me and this is and all these things happened afterwards and um adam and eve tell them like well we're we're we're naked and so we're you know we're behind this bush and this is the second question god asked them and he says who told you who told you write that down if you have a pen and paper genesis 3 you can go back and find these who told you they didn't want to present themselves to god because they were naked they realized that they were now naked and they were ashamed and so god asked them that question who told you and so god again is asking us this question today who told you all of those answers that you gave to where are you that you wrote down or were thinking about where are you maybe one of your responses was something to do with i just feel far from you i have a lot of fear i feel actually very ashamed i i'm very broken i'm hurting i don't feel good enough i don't feel like i belong here with these people i don't know what i'm doing here if any of those things came up god is asking us who told you you see god wanted to get at the source of what was happening with adam and eve he wanted them to understand you have been listening to the enemy you have been listening to the serpent who has tricked you a serpent who wants to absolutely destroy and kill everything good who told you in our life we have to always think back to these questions of one where are we where are you and who told you who told you that you can't be forgiven who told you that god can't take care of your mess who told you who is it who are we listening to in this world i tell you more than ever i know you know there this this world is so noisy there are so many voices and there's so much influence in the world all these people who think that they know exactly what you need in your life right now right and they're going to tell you about it all you got to do is like it save the post share it with your friends who told you people sell not just stuff now but they sell lifestyles don't they and they sell us women an ideology that goes against the very nature of how god made us to be amen i don't know about you but that pisses me off and it should make you angry too it should make you angry and i mean a righteous anger because you have been made in the image and likeness of christ jesus of god almighty and he has made you good sisters he's made you good what that world tells us out there about how we should be or how we should look like or what we should believe or what we should do on the weekends or what type of relationship we should have they are the enemy it is the voice of the enemy speaking through other broken people i'm not sitting here hating other groups or hating certain people no but the enemy has infiltrated all around us and we have to be rooted in truth so we need to answer these questions that god is asking us in genesis where are you and who told you go back to the source of this in your life every doubt you have every roadblock you have with your life and with faith go back to these questions where are you and who told you you know i i i bought into the lies of the enemy in a sense i bit my own fruit right and i um i mentioned last night at 15 i lost my virginity at 15 i was it was like after homecoming and it was just like the thing to do and it was just it was just really really terrible um it was a free will decision i'm not saying it wasn't but um but it was that thing where you just kind of feel like this i guess is what everyone else is doing so i guess i'm gonna do this and it's such a huge thing but again the people around me and the people that i had in my life all were agreeing that that's kind of the thing to do and you become as i mentioned last night you become the average of the people around you the people that you spend time with is really who you become that's why honestly adoration is so incredibly important and it's not talked about enough in our church i don't know why i think it's a massive mishap but you will become who you spend time with so if we're not spending time with jesus in adoration if we're not spending time with the sacraments why why why would we want heaven you do realize heaven is with jesus all the time so how are we living our life now when opportunities come to us for those moments first for the sacraments and for adoration we should use this as a time to reconnect with who we are and who god is for me at 15 i just allowed this this big mistake to happen and then i just decided to just uh [Music] throw myself away pretty much i thought i was trash seriously i just thought oh gosh i just totally botched it everything so who cares anymore and so i began to just live a life of sin uh and live a life that was completely okay in the eyes of the world and let me tell you something our culture in the world it definitely tells us when we engage in sin like oh you're fine it's fine it's fine it's no big deal and so i continued to to do that and i left i kind of led my whole life into that space for the next 10 years of leave of living these lies about what it was to be a woman that i had to always be in control that i had to be better than men always and you know what no no if you're gonna do it i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna do it bed and i'll be the first one to do this and i'll be the first one to do that and i don't care about this and don't open the door for me i got my own door i got hands i can open a door i was so against the art of femininity i was so against the art of masculinity too that it was destroying all these relationships around me all because i'm empowered i'm an empowered woman y'all look at me oh but but is that really what it is to be a woman is to be a woman to step on others is to be a woman to show i did it i did it better and i did it first it's not it's not you see when we try to exert our power over others regardless of who we are it's always wrong always wrong there's something within me within the identity of me that i had to work on and to reconcile and have to be restored and it led me to that place of understanding these roles of women there are three roles in particular that are the main roles of being a woman of being of having our femininity being integrated so to speak we're going to go over these three rules kind of like what i did last night of leading you through a little bit of a meditation we're going to go a little bit with that now and so as we do that we'll have a little bit of music playing in the background to kind of fill our space going to go over these three different roles these three different roles they help shape our identity as women and they help us when they are integrated and ordered show up to be the very best version of ourself to be a woman that is strong and capable and faithful and truly changes the world and so these roles the first one is there's there's three there's daughter sister and mother we're gonna go we're gonna do a daughter first so as i mentioned these roles i'm gonna if you can just like we did last time um just relax this is the point where like you can uh put your notes down put your nose down if you're um get into whatever physical spot you need to be in uh think about before we begin just if you need a stretch if your arms are wrapped around your waist maybe let them go just something physically move yourself god has made you with a body and a soul and we don't want to pretend that we're just going to only do the soul work and not think about this body of ours right it's a good body you have it be a strong body your body and your posture reflects and will will impact your brain and the neurons in your brain to let you know when you're doing something and what you need to be and how you need to respond to that that space so whatever it is get into that space where you can receive and you can think and we're going to begin with the word daughter so you can go ahead if you want i won't be looking at you don't worry i'm going to be walking the stage talking close your eyes deep breath in in through your nose out through your mouth there's a beautiful breathing exercise and it's an ancient ancient prayer and you can breathe with it and you breathe in jesus christ son of david and then you breathe out have mercy on me a sinner so breathe in jesus son of david breathe out have mercy on me as sinner [Music] very ancient prayer that we're praying there we're going to think about this word daughter to keep your eyes closed and think about daughter you as daughter i want you to see yourself there in your mind you as daughter see yourself are you standing are you sitting are you lying [Music] when you hear the word daughter how does that make you feel i want you to try to let [Music] the memories the emotions come to your heart we love you you are in a safe place [Music] think about what daughter means to you how have you shown up as a daughter how have you been treated as a daughter [Music] when we hear the word daughter there's an obvious connection because if your daughter that means that you are that you belong [Music] to a family and so daughter can bring up a lot of different feelings because we come from such different families and backgrounds there are wounds in our families that we didn't choose that we didn't want but they're there [Music] and so when we hear the word daughter it brings us to a place of [Music] [Music] restoration outside of our immediate families the word daughter we can begin to think about daughter as our father in relation to our father as god the father so now as you think about the word daughter i want you again take a deep breath close your eyes again and let's think about daughter now daughter you are daughter but you are thinking of yourself as daughter with your father as god the father so we're going to move out of our immediate family and go to our eternal family do you feel seen by god the father do you feel known by him is your relationship with your father distant is it close we're gonna right now ask god in this moment continue to keep your eyes closed to come in and restore and heal not just the word daughter but the role of daughter in our life so i ask i encourage you to pray that in your heart god the father restore me as daughter god the father restore me as daughter heal my wounds fill in the gaps [Music] [Music] when we embrace the role of daughter in our life it will bring about peace and security because a daughter who knows that she is loved by her father walks with confidence and shares that confidence with others [Music] because it is who she is that she is beloved [Music] that she is looked after and god the father looks at his daughters and he is proud of them your father loves you and he is proud of you [Music] lord jesus we ask and we invite you to come into this space this physical space and we ask you to come into the interior space of our heart lord jesus we ask for you to heal the role of daughter in our life so that we may become the most integrated and sweetest and best version of how you've made us to be [Music] all right open your eyes take a deep breath stretch hands up [Music] my sisters you are daughter i have two girls and four boys my two girls are agnes and violet my sweet little agnes and violet [Music] watching them relate to their daddy now keep in mind agnes is seven and violet's four violet's nickname is gummy bear if you saw her you would get it but anyways but agnes and gummy the way that they relate to ricky it is teaching me in my prayer life that i need to look at god the father the way that they look at ricky ricky's a firefighter and so he has long shifts and he's gone for a couple days when he comes home and even when they're gone when when ricky's gone agnes and violet in particular are like oh i miss dad and they'll talk to me about dad for the whole two days that ricky's on firefighter shift like i don't know who this person is but agnes and violet will in particular talk to me about dad mom dad is so great mom i love dad so much oh mom do you think when dad comes home he's gonna make us the korean barbecue he makes it so good my husband's korean so he does he really makes good korean food when we're a daughter when we're loved that much by our father we talk about our dad that's what i realized from my from my girls they can't help but talk about dad especially when he's gone like oh man i can't wait to see dad i miss dad so much and i'm like i'm i'm here i'm the one that feeds you every day i birthed you into the world where is the love but they love dad and rightly so you see the role of daughter in our life is not to be skimmed over it's not it's a relationship that needs deep healing because we live in a broken world with broken people and our our dads that we have here are physical dads even ricky they're not perfect and they make mistakes are we willing to forgive our fathers for what they did not have that they couldn't give to us and then are we willing to continue to accept deeply the role of daughter and knowing that god the father is our father he's our dad and can we talk to him can we relate to him as dad still giving the utmost respect to god almighty but he's dad and when we know that we're loved by him when we accept that love we will encounter the world in a different way because we have that security in knowing who we are amen all right the next one we're going to go into the next one we're going to go into is sister this is that word so okay let's again real quick real quick this will be a little bit shorter this one will be sister we're going to sit get yourself get yourself into place deep breath in lord jesus christ son of david have mercy on me a sinner [Music] all right eyes are shut just relax if you fall asleep in this moment that's fine you're okay god's still gonna work in that beautiful sleep close your eyes [Music] sister what does that word mean to you are you a sister do you have a sister [Music] are your girlfriends your sisters [Music] have i been a good sister have i been hurt by a sister this role is a big one because we encounter women every day do we see them as sister if we do have we been able to restore that role of sister in our life [Music] lord jesus [Music] it's fair to say that we are not perfect and you've made us for community you've made in particular us women to form a bond of sisterhood [Music] physically spiritually emotionally but those bonds of sisterhood jesus they've been broken by gossip they've been broken by betrayal they've been broken by abuse and we need you to restore sisterhood in us how can i be a good sister god if i can't heal the relationship with my own sister god how can i be a good sister if i can't forgive my own jesus please give me your eyes to see give me your heart to feel your mouth to speak your mind to know what true sisterhood should be in me [Music] so that i can be the example of what you want me to be a sister [Music] all right go ahead and open your eyes we have no idea the impact that we'll have on other people and in particular with this women's session of coming together as women and people like to say it all the time and call people's sister or the sisterhood of this and the sisterhood of traveling pants i don't know this is there's like lots of sisterhood stuff out there but what does that mean what does that mean i don't know about you but sister has been a a hard word for me in my life i was bullied ever since i was in grade school by a few girls like a true sincere bullying i mean that there's a lot of emotional abuse with the word sister with me and friends and even in my own family [Music] and that hardened me in how i interacted with other women and one of the defensive statements that comes from people who experience this is i just don't get along with girls i get along with boys better right that sound familiar maybe because you've heard me say it can't be you though right couldn't be you here's a secret we were made to get along we were made to get along we weren't made to hate each other we weren't made to compete with one another we were not made to compare ourselves to one another do you understand me oh i love you but i don't think you do do you understand [Music] you were not made to compare yourself to another sister in christ you were not made for comparison you were made for contribution [Music] you were and the enemy wants to steal that contribution shame wants to steal that contribution every evil every pain every wound it wants to siphon and steal the contribution of you in this world and i as far as as long as i'm breathing i will have nothing of it i will have nothing of it i will be here i will pray for you so that you will be a contribution in this world that you will contribute your life your faith to make this world better that you will own your life that you will turn it around that you will say no to sin no to vice that you will be an active player in your life so that you can truly be a person a woman of contribution because that is exactly exactly what god made you to do and made you to be he didn't make you to compare to somebody else what good is that going to do you nothing it will do nothing for you they'll make you miserable it'll make you shop a whole lot more because you got to buy something because you don't got that thing for some somebody else it'll empty your bank account it'll empty your soul it's not worth it trust me i know the last role is mother this last role for us women is mother now you're thinking leah i don't have any kids let's skip this one oh i know i know [Music] our culture has systematically systematically in a very controlled way made us women believe that motherhood is the enemy to your dreams that being a mother that your dream of getting married and having babies should be the last on your list of things to do that your real contribution should be other things it should be businesses that you should build it should be climbing ladders and breaking ceilings yep our culture wants us to hate our fertility our culture wants us to say no to all of that and to say yes to their plan god made you to be a mother maybe not physically but he made us spiritually to be a mother and even if a child never grows in your womb here is something you need to know god made us physically to announce the theology of who he is our biology tells the world of the theology that we profess because we have been made a woman has been made with a womb regardless if a child is in there or not ever our biology says something to the world that i have been made for another your biology says that right now you have been made female you have been made woman that means that we've been born with a womb and that womb our heart and yes the physical womb it breathes life it is meant to give life to this world and we are called into that role of mother spiritually emotionally and for some of us physically as well you embrace being a mother yes you at 15 years old 16 will you embrace being a mother will you embrace what that means you know what that means it means that you seek to understand others my children confuse the crap out of me i have no idea why ambrose gets a toad and puts it inside of this jar of a bowl with water and brings it inside my home i don't understand you but motherhood is seeking to understand those that are confused motherhood is nurturing it's looking at the heart of someone when they're really going through something and you're not going to listen to their the the venom that they're spitting out of their mouth but you're going to try to understand the source of it and you're going to see this person is hurting and they're acting out what's behind this you see that's what mother does and you know what else a mother does [Music] she stays she's present she's there [Music] i was so blessed to have a mom that was able to stay home with us me and my um brothers and sisters and you know what i loved about that is that every time i came home from school she was there mom was just there and what a gift it is to be present and to be a steady presence of god in someone's life you see the role of mother is not awaiting you in the future the role of mother is now my friends it's now we to be an integrated woman we are daughter we are sister and we are mother and this means living out this life of virtue across the board it means dealing with our wounds and dealing with our sins and embracing all of those virtues to live out that life to be sister to be daughter to be mother those virtues of chastity and modesty which i know seem kind of high and lofty up here but they're real do we love with an undivided heart or or or not with chastity in particular are we going to allow ourselves to honor our body and who we are and the gift of who we are truly and trust me you've already heard my my my story if you've if you've been in that space where you've made a mistake like that something against chastity in a variety of different ways there is reconciliation and let me tell you something there is hope and god restores and he makes new your life is still available to be a life of contribution you are not trash you are not wasted talent if i'm an example of that i mean i hope that that speaks to you i know that's what god did in my life i thought there's no way there's no way that i can be a true woman in this in the church and in faith that i could really be you know daughter sister mother and all those integrated pieces i just thought look i'm broken i mean it just doesn't work for me [Music] but god comes to restore he comes to restore so all that junk that you got in your heart look it's okay it's okay that you got junk we just got to know where to dump it that's all and that's not meant for you god wants to take those crosses and he wants to restore so we're going to in the next these last just a few minutes here we just have a couple minutes left we're going to if you don't mind do some prayer i know you're thinking lee i think that's what we've already been doing not really what we've been doing is this practice of meditation of sitting with words and sitting with how god has called us into that role into that word and to think about it so that we can take whatever that is into prayer so just a few minutes left where you are right now and if you sat down around some strangers this is going to be fun okay remember remember these roles daughter sister mother i want you to one don't you dare leave anybody out okay so don't be that person all right if you see somebody that's not that that's not with someone else bring them in but with where you are get into groups get into a group of about uh three and we're going to pray in these little groups for the restoration of the roles of daughter sister mother does that sound okay to you all right so get into groups of like two two or three whatever you want to do find somebody if you if you don't if you see that they're alone bring them in to the fold we're going to have some beautiful music playing here and as the music is playing as the our lady band is singing their songs when you pray we're going to be praying for these particular roles i'll go ahead and and assign the role so go ahead right here when you pray with them you can come together and huddle together if you want if you feel comfortable um the person who um will be receiving the prayer and then the two people praying over them you can if you want put their hand on their shoulder if you feel comfortable and if you don't that is a hundred percent okay my husband is not the hand type i am so i pray from a distance for ricky but that's okay we're getting to that spot all right find the person who's gonna go first right just just go go with it all right you got your person all right we're gonna go ahead and start with daughter let's get moving ladies come on daughter the person who's receiving the prayers you can if you want give a specific prayer intention around this role of daughter you don't have to you can just say i just need prayers of restoration with the role of daughter and now you have about a few seconds your prayer [Music] it [Music] and is moving to the role of sister [Music] is [Music] and the role of mother [Music] here's my heart [Music] fears [Music] amen and when you're ready go on to the next person [Music] here's my life and we'll begin with that role of [Music] daughter [Music] is we'll move on to the role of sister [Music] jesus jesus and the role of mothers this is [Music] is all right we're going to move on to the third person in your group [Music] moving into that person let's go ahead and begin again with daughter [Music] restore your daughters jesus [Music] moving into sisters [Music] moving into that last role of mother [Music] i am [Music] i am here i am [Music] is speak what is true speak what is true [Music] speak words [Music] jesus we ask for you to continue to the to reveal your work in us as daughter as sister and mother continue to heal us to speak truth into these roles in our lives that we may become women of contribution and what we may contribute will contribute to the kingdom of god your kingdom lord jesus that we may be women of faith women of courage and women of contribution my fellow daughters my fellow sisters my fellow mothers you have my heart i love you with all of it let's continue to pray for one another be good sisters amen amen god love you god bless and i'll be with you later this afternoon

Channel: Steubenville Youth Conferences

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Keywords: Catholic, Charismatic, Youth Conference, Youth, Conference, Evangelization, Steubenville Conferences, Steubenville

Id: 0i526LvJW4s

Length: 59min 38sec (3578 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 10 2021