Lawyers Reveal Their Most Cringeworthy Cases (r/AskReddit)

lawyers of Reddit what's the most cringy case you've had I made an account just to share this story we interviewed a middle-aged man who was Paul and received food stamp assistance for himself he had an emotional support dog some kind of toy breed who wasn't trained and most likely just his pet according to him the dog could only eat expensive organic Whole Foods and could not eat ordinary dog food he applied for what basically amounts to Food Stamp persistence for his dog the state granted the food stamp persistence for the dog he came to us outraged because the amount of food stamp money he got for the dog did not allow him to buy the organic health foods that the dog required he wanted to appeal the Food Stamp decision and get even more money we turned the case down this resulted in claims of disability discrimination against everyone in the office who interacted with him a woman wanted to charge her ex for stealing her indoor / outdoor cat the cat had been gone for two days when it returned it smelled like cigarette smoke her ex was a smoker so she thought this was plenty of evidence against him I was defending the plaintiffs case was dismissed for failure to state a case basically under the law they weren't entitled to any compensation they appealed this decision and lost they had a month to appeal three months passed and nothing then we get a notice that they are appealing half of their appeal was their attorney begging the court to consider the appeal because of how difficult his last three months had been the difficulty he moved across town two months prior and had been renovating his new house maybe not very cranky to the average person but the audacity of blaming a three-month delay on moving was something else I rat mom of daughter mom's boyfriend did a bunch of grooming behavior including buying the daughter ellipse tick vibrator and lube I recall the daughter was 12 or 13 at the time the mother completely and utterly stood by her man and didn't care if it cost her custody of her daughter social services intervened child was removed and placed into custody of Bo father she retained me when bo father filed to terminate child support and have his own child support established the woman was in her late 40s and wore ponytails on each side or her head and or braids on each side of her head and had them decorated like little girls have she also wore almost constantly what appeared to be a Catholic schoolgirl outfit tartan skirt white shirt low-cut and vast it was if she was trying to look like a little girl I found her and her pedo boyfriend completely cringy I defend corporations that fail to pay taxes a company failed to pay millions in excise taxes they blamed it on another newer company that came in as competition to their monopoly on a very narrow niche industry within a broader industry the pries of this corpse is the new company for hurting his business I told him it wouldn't work and wouldn't find a lawyer to do it he hand wrote his lawsuit and it was thrown out because it was frivolous as for my case I saved him just over a million dollars with the Aisin trust fund assessments he is now in his third attempt to sue me for not saving him more money the previous two attempts failed because one I have an arbitration clause - his company is now defunct and 3 I performed our contract - the letter he hand wrote those lawsuits - he is essentially harassing me with lawsuits because he has nothing better to do now I will smash him like a bug in court again and round and round we go the dead penis consult years ago I did PI work old man came in and wanted to sue because he took off brand viagra you know the big warning about if the effect lasts for more than four hours go see a doc yeah he did - but he ignored it due to embarrassment for three days by the time he went in blood had pooled thickened and completely destroyed his penis they open it up remove what needs to be removed tell him that was his last direction of his life he is understandably bitter but not much I could do since he admitted to ignoring the warning that's when he stood up in my office drop trail with no warning and yelled at me should be paid for having to deal with his new dead situation I asked him to pack up his situation and leave then I had a whiskey and resolved never to ignore any medication warning ever again my former boss wanted to take a botched penile implant case but we convinced him not to because of the costs of litigation the photos my god the photos mom and dad are immigrants who are self-made rich dollar-sign 100 plus million rich they have four adult children child one is a well-respected physician child who is a college professor and successful author child four is a stay-at-home mom and socialite her husband is a seer in Silicon Valley child 3 is a scam artist but even though child 3 is mama's favorite she recognizes him for who he is the whole family live in California mom and dad have long-standing valid wills and trusts about 15 years before they paid a lot of money for bullet-proof estate planning part of this was to ensure that child 3 never had access to their money he received a modest stipend I think it was dollar sign 5k / month for life indexed to inflation and that child frees kids their grandkids would be taken care of dad ice and mom has early stage dementia less than 48 hours after dad dies child 3 representing himself sues children 1 2 & 4 in another state where none of them live because he didn't like the fact that 15 years earlier mom and dad wrote him out of the will and that dad hung on long enough for his kids to graduate from college never mind that mom and dad paid for all 14 grandkids college education so he doesn't have access to his kids trust funds my firm's senior partner and child 1 were fraternity brothers in college and we happen to practice in the state where child 3 brought issues I'm successful in getting the case dismissed for a lack of jurisdiction about 18 months later child 3 then finds out that children 1 2 & 4 are limited partners in a real estate development in my state he sues them for their part of the real estate development because they obviously invested more than dads MA that he was entitled to we are hired again and successfully dismissed that case three years go by it's now about six years from when dad died and we find out that mom has died child three scissors as well as children one two and four for medical malpractice only child one is a physician in yet another state his reasoning because we had his cases dismissed and mom died then the fact that he lost his cases caused her to die the fact that she was in her mid eighties and suffering from dementia couldn't possibly have anything to do with that my wife's best friend is an attorney in the same city where the case against us was filed I pro hac vice in temporary admission for a single case and get this case dismissed the best part all told we racked up well over dollar signed 200k in fees and expenses from all of this frivolous litigation he's been ordered to pay us all of our fees plus interest from the date of the beginning of case one with interest it's over dollar sign 600 K we've garnished his stipend so we are getting the dollar sign five K / month which I now think is about dollar sign 7 K it barely covers his interest he's going to be paying us for the rest of his life and we have a nice guaranteed revenue stream man in his fifties is suing his female cow occur about 30 years his junior woman just got married but the man had a crush on her he broke down and kept crying confessing to stalking and sending her escale letters and maybe even breaking into her place his lawyer has to work hard not to get him put in prison had to explain to someone in the military that getting caught while driving drunk five times will get your license revoked and yes your employer the army will also have a bone to pick he was legitimately confounded stating that he never got that drunk God I'm glad his license was revoked another police officer got in trouble for yelling you little [ __ ] to a twelve-year-old girl who passed him on a bicycle his deferens it was not meant to offend it was a general statement I don't practice but I vaguely remember some case from profession responsibilities class about a lawyer getting in trouble for throwing a tantrum he was suing the Barbie company or something for allegedly stealing his doll designs and at some point he started yelling and throwing doll heads at people I took the class many years ago so the details are pretty fuzzy I just recalled how pathetic I would feel if my behavior was literally put in the textbook as an example of being a [ __ ] attorney guy wanted to declare bankruptcy for gambling debts they weren't even big debts he just felt like they were too annoying in trying to collect on the debt that he wanted to stiff them by going through bankruptcy I was defending a guy for DUI he was delivering pizzas and caused an accident he was admittedly drunk the police officer failed to note the time of day on his notes which meant the state couldn't prove his blood was drawn within two hours of the accident so he walked free on a technicality even though we all knew he messed up I lectured him so hard outside the courthouse you got lucky today but next time it could cost you your life or even kill someone else he seemed to care that I can never be sure had a client who wanted to set up a charity to preserve a mythical creature luckily I could argue failure to meet one of the three certainties as a reason why not rather than the good old your crazy pants defense just had an example case in class today which my profs friend acted as the defense for some first-class airplane passenger tried to sue a non first-class passenger for trespass after they use the first-class bathroom luckily the case was thrown out back when I was articling we had a client come in wanting to get our help with divorce proceedings this guy was was sent relation and spoke very little English and was functionally illiterate in both English and his native language but the story this guy told gives me shivers to this day we was on a work visa that was about to expire so he married a Western woman in order to stay in the country the woman he married was quite well-off in fact her family were some of the richest people in the small town they lived in so why marry some illiterate foreign rule well the woman had been raped by her father when she was a preteen /team from what our client told us it was consensual by both parties but she was still a preteen / teen so yeah rape Ike this relationship with her father ended in her late teens when she started a similar relationship with her brother the relationship with the brother however had been going on off and on for almost 15 years by the time she married my client the problem was the town was small and people were starting to ask questions about the siblings being so close Ike so the family's idea was to marry her off to someone really quickly to allay suspicion they decided that my client was perfect because if he didn't do the trick in breaking up the brother-sister relationship they could always ship the both of them off to my client's home country which was what they ended up doing after all this sacrifice to stay in the West my client was shipped off home to live with his family and his new nymphomaniac wife now in this time they had a child together but almost as soon as the child was born the wife started having an affair with my clients brother after they were caught the patron of the family very quickly sent them back to North America meanwhile their poor child was being neglected by his mother who was too busy banging my clients brother and cared for only occasionally and badly by my clients who was basically incompetent while living with the family the sisters mother and aunts mostly raised the child but when they got back to North America they had no such support system the wife's family took them in but none of them had any interest in raising this poor child so the two parents were elected to care for their own child by the time the client came to us it was a constant fight over who was injuring the child more and whether or not the child would be raised by a parent or given to child and family services deeply disturbing case after the client left my boss told us everything had said that it was the first case in her career to really make her feel sad for Humanity not a case but my friend got a bunch of people in our home a room to write fake / weird reviews on his dad's law firm page it went on for a few weeks and after they had hit the 600 review his dad said something turns out that his dad wanted to sue every kid in the school for posting the reviews friend got suspended for almost six months [Music]

Channel: Humor Studios

Views: 78,974

Rating: 4.8708754 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ToadFilms, EmKay, GioFilms

Id: A7B28t1xyqs

Length: 13min 41sec (821 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 04 2019