Last of the Summer Wine - Sinclair And The Wormley Witches

you shouldn't be rubbing your eyes if you've got something in it something feels like a block of flats wet the end a Yankee wet the end okay that's it done don't know finish it if you have I have a bet with Entwistle I could get you gazing into my eyes it was only one hour you little weasel it doesn't count close enough I'd sooner be gazing at your back at least should be going in the right direction even with one eye be honest I bet your heart's beating faster there's no man makes my heart beat faster the better at giving you heartburn you one hang out you didn't say anything about both eyes I think that close to Norah Bakke deserves a prize of some sort you're right how many have been that close to know about Ian's lived I've imagined a scent of furniture polish and a trace of all-purpose cleaner with a hint of bleach sounds powerfully attractive except of course to the opposite sex it should have been both eyes one eye sneaky I am I'm Alvin captain sneaky I failed sneaky I'm fun of a bit of sneaky myself I was trained by the former mrs. true love a master of the art maybe something we said ladies oh we were trespassing oh they're not trespassing anyone get a good look at him huh I would describe him as an angry flow throwing rocks why is pop appear perfectly reasonable explanation he's the local lunatic I thought Alvin was local lunatic I'm on out there I only come around here you're too modest Alvin you're daft enough for further than that same again peeping out you see a bundler nurse I hope so that's I'm losing my touch does he have a skin rash there are some nasty skin rashes that could account for his agitation I can usually manage to account for his agitation Travis gets red blotches they do they seem to overheat at the slightest excitement sometimes it clashes terribly with the wallpaper of course it'd be properly trained it shouldn't be in a state of excitement we don't all have your natural advantages I've always found our very good at reducing excitement Travis gets quite emotional it doesn't say much but you can sense him squirming inside it puts a great strain on his underwear come on buying a new underwear do you buy them loose enough you've got to give them room to shuffle in they offer to be nocturnal shivers I blame it on feeling guilty our door was Mandy just to make his vest ride up it's always half way up he's back oh you should buy them longer make him talk them well in it makes no nevermind it can lift any amount of vest who's there again he moves much faster than Travis Lewis fast alright does he keep looking how to you for I think we're blocking his escape well I suppose we could move no let him suffer that's always best he never did mine any harm it dies though didn't it but I don't think it was just to avoid me we come in peace what's in the movies try it again louder one day white man and red man will live in big bog off schools like a native turn away I don't want to seen your faces just changing me library book shall be long is he much of a reader not as much as these a much of something else we should do this more often your husband offers endless scope for entertainment you should see him in his eye King shows Oh little bit Travis not now Travis we're following someone yes it's a man it belongs to Pearl stop fussing Travis yes I know what your mother said about chasing men this isn't a man it's a husband he's going into the open field now what you see it all he wants is not to see faces we can do that I have to tell you Glenda this is not as absorbing as golf you said you were giving up golf I was lying I thought you knew me well enough to know when I'm lying if you impose order women are know instantly Golf is a great area I love the game Glenda it's just that people keep turning up and embarrassing me you're the golfers all stare at me I think the only people I know are weirdos well you don't have to worry about that out here this is one I can't be blamed for he's going in the library we've misjudged him I suppose we ought to feel ashamed freaky little devil hey that's where he said he was going that's what I mean it's getting so you can't even a liar not believing a word he says sorry what no we finished that we've stopped following him no we haven't whoops catch you later Travis we're on again well I know I'm seeing you here that is the last thing you can say nothing you are welcome of God so welcome me you little weasel where is she I'm sure I even know who you mean what happened to the woman who came in here I can assure you nothing ever happens to the ladies in my library unfortunately that includes me is there another exit is staff only round there now you see my advice is keep it short you are on probation Macca back and your but we can't help our faces and all we've got stay back be gone be gone hexxus things like be gone he does I just heard him I've seen people in these highly confused states before what was correct procedure they need humoring understanding a sympathetic ear until you can get close enough to it about something well if you're just gonna spoil them bacon you forces of darkness I command you in the name of oh yes this one's well gone he's nutcase I knew they had to be a reason go on then commanders in the name of who well I did two minute to go they were on the tip of my tongue when you do remember I should write it down don't worry you live and learn keep back I warn you I'm wearing garlic if that's supposed to be a deterrent you're in trouble we all like Italian although in the wrong hands it has a tendency to splash why look at me because you can make spaghetti travel further than your truck one time you put wrong spin on your spaghetti one time and they never forget Oswald Kirk I command you in the name of brother Oswald Kirk write it down have you got a pen don't encourage him he looks harmless but not harmless I deny harmless I'm deadly when roused hold on um is there any women in here we'll buy you a pint Sinclair for anything extra you're on your own don't you watch need one in four unit one sounds reasonable the variant yes I'm in fear and there's not one as a dozen a dozen were you going for the record I would going along nicely until I cross paths with that lot dozen that's a lotta paths Sinclair you must've had a bicycle well I didn't fought them separately that were all in one room what was the attraction were they offering a group discount Saxon nightmare is what a kiss it wasn't no life it was just a sporting interest you can tell me I was in the vice squad and they weren't just women there were more more than 12 unlucky 13 laughs and flesh-and-blood scary for the strange powers dark power was frightening of course I didn't realize it at the time well you don't you have to be married for a while they were witches but you couldn't tell at first they just looked like ordinary women but with numbers on the jerseys which is where numbers on their jerseys this lot do witches can't remember their own names what makes you think they were witches all I know is things have never been right for me since I insulted them a coven of witches with numbers on their jerseys or what do you mean it doesn't sound likely I'd agree with you I've never believed in that sort of thing myself you think it's all hokum till you find out the hard way nothing wicked round here yes round here I can [ __ ] one or two might qualify and 212 is pushing it a bit well there were 12 of them including their trainer manager oh I'm over it list of 11 witches I've got their own trainer manager bad trainer manager I believe him you're from whole you believe anybody something about him food it's called being loopy are you very good at it you can laugh you're not the one under the curse of the Wormley witches Oh simply the Wormley witches are the ladies football team that's not I formed I told you a sporting interest I went along to watch them play you want my advice don't ever start shouting funnies at the Wormley witches when they're losing is that you Barry yes it's me this fella room might as well sell his binoculars Barry I hope this setback to your bird watching won't lessen your sporting interesting being coddled it won't I'm up for being coddled so you won't need two binoculars I was looking forward to a bit of business with the binoculars I might become one of the great twitches one of your friends pretend they didn't know yeah wouldn't that be rude it'd be better than a whole gaggle of people hiding their faces and shouting how do Barry he'd only be hurt if they didn't speak to you you'd have a sleepless night worrying if you'd said something under my breath I tell you I was saying something Oh Barry come and have a cuddle Thank You Glenda but I've got this headache so you got yourself disliked it disliked you think it were just disliked I've been in fear of my life ever since you were watching them play and you got a big copy as you do well I may have shouted at one or two amusing comments I mean that's what the games for brings out the wit and wisdom in you which is not appreciated wit and wisdom well what kind of footballers are they if they can't take a bit of armor what makes you think they might really be witches all the things that have been happening to me since I mean if it weren't for my crucifix and the garlic I would not be here now what kind of things have been happening they broke a mirror I seemed there golly she could break mirror my mirror telepathy or something I got off him and there was a crack right across it and that thunderstorm yesterday now come on you can't blame them for that no how come the Lightning just missed me me I could smell it my hair stood on end when you say yep just missed you how all right it were onto the side of road but if you'd seen that lot shooting at goal you'd realize that word damn folks by this time maybe they'll get you on a penalty there must be worth more than that which never what things are worth lad it's what you can get good heavens a coach party we need a man that looks magical and mysterious that looked more powerful and witches or even traffic warden what what fancy bit of witchcraft buddy I'm not in the mood you ended my bird-watching career the birds was chilly there buddy we need you for an errand of mercy we've got to wimp unspell this idiot we've recently discovered the best one for ages if you like garlic I'm sorry I've got this headache are we going to have to mend bury oh he'll come round again you can't expect him to be cheerful at the moment I just bought his binoculars Oh Oh hurry they say time is great healer because they could be lying this way he's just had a lesson that could serve him for the rest of his life it's a charity thing we do for our customers I will sort Barry out later I mean while we need a person who looks as if he might be in touch with other worlds which sounds to me like smiler you couldn't right he's not in touch with this one insanely vs thunk like you want these tables pudding what Oh my Barry says he's given up sporting activities my Howard's is the same that I think he's lying I don't think Travis ever had any sporting activities unless you count worrying what's he worried about everything usually last week it was meteorites this week it's earthquakes I found him in the garden with his ear to the ground however the green fingers but green ears is pushing it a bit he wants to worry about creepy crawlies in his a year oh don't start him on anything else what do passers-by think when they see him with his ear to the ground they think he's dead we've had the ambulance twice can't you keep him indoors that's not as easy as you think doesn't he get a dirty ear it's the first thing I check when I get home they're sneaky is probably watched it is he left ear don't write it we always check both you have to be thorough there's many a husband being lost through casual inspections you say hello to everyone berry hello everyone Oh candy marvelous never seen anything like it excuse me stranger is this the way to the master seek and ye shall find I've just been in and did you find I found marvelous he was recommended by a clairvoyant at felt kingdoms bakeries knows when the jam is just right go and see the master he said and you did I did incredible you wouldn't believe the powers that that man has and he looked so gormless I was thinking more on the lines of unassuming is he any good is he any good I went in there a complete [ __ ] how did you now terrible but when I went in I couldn't feel the thing he's made all the difference if you're the victim of small magic Sinclair you need big magic to cure it this fellas big magic in a hut on the allotments he's renounced all his worldly possessions gave me his iPod offered us his wife but we'd rather have cash are you seekers after truth we are you're watching this bloke especially if not the truth and some acceptable substitute doesn't look all that big magic means just an assistant well if he's so magical how come he needs an assistant it's mainly for the paperwork tell your master brother Sinclair here needs a spell removing I'll see if the master is available it is it's your lucky day he's available what's this free sample of masters words of wisdom visit auntie's for all your household needs untied I thought of applying for firearms training best a wife a bit she thinks I don't fit funny needlework firearms they make a loud bang you do realize I can handle loud bangs I saw you when the lorry backfired oh it just dozing off that doesn't count besides when you're shooting to give you these big earmuffs only for training not when it's for real out there run streets it's better to show people without waiting animals let's stick to needlework I didn't say I did it she saw the wife saves me does she let you thread your own needle you this is it this is the cure the barbecue baked smoked inhale smoke see visions what kind of stuff is that take deep breaths it's a vision in answer get better reception hd-ready some people are so impressed that take it none of these sick I see I'm done I'm finished I'm cured I'm not going through that again it's worse than whichis I told you is Marvis did you see visions what that was some vision don't be too hard on him it's worth the price of admission just to listen to his excuses you listen I'd sooner be hard on him this nasty smell when I stumbled across that young lady that must have been stupid but what kind of idiot believes in such a thing as terrifying witches can you smell smoke nope you smell smoke

Channel: Thomas Singletary

Views: 264,929

Rating: 4.7359738 out of 5

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Id: ZryuHzIoNZ4

Length: 28min 59sec (1739 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 23 2016