Welcome to Sad Boyz, a podcast
about feelings, and other things also. - I'm Jarvis.
- I'm Jordan. Why are you doing that robotic thing? - Just like usual.
- OK. I'm just a natural looking guy. Haven't been replaced with an android on account of someone punched me
at Creator Clash and my head fell off. We'll look into that later. Today, we're joined by one of
our dear friends, Chad Chad. - Hi. That's me.
- [JORDAN] Hello. - Hello. How are you doing?
- [CHAD CHAD] Hi. You – you move really smoothly. - Thank you.
- [CHAD CHAD] And naturally. You might be compensating
for him being a robot. - He's a what?
- I mean (clears throat)... Do I have, like, the
verisimilitude of a real person? If you looked at me, you'd go,
"That's a human guy." Yeah. "That's a guy named Jordan." - That's what I said when I came in.
- "Verisimilitude" is a word - I haven't heard since the SAT.
- Big favorite. I never took whatever the equivalent
of the SATs are. Is it just questions? - Is it just questions? Yeah.
- Is it just questions? Yeah, in a way. So, like, how many numbers are there? - That is one of the questions they ask.
- In the first hundred. How many numbers are there? - Um...
- What's going on, Chad Chad? Um, nothing. We're in a hotel after Creator Clash. We are in a hotel after Creator Clash. Um, we're in Tampa, Florida right now. We could dox ourselves. - We're at the Floridan Palace hotel.
- We're at the Floridan - Palace hotel.
- Oh, yeah, so we're in a hotel called - not "The Floridian."
- [CHAD CHAD] No. - No, that would make sense.
- It would. "The Floridan." - And we don't know why.
- We don't know who Dan is. We don't know who Dan is, - or who Flor is.
- [CHAD CHAD] Or who Florida is. - [CHAD CHAD] I don't know.
- It's on Florida Avenue, so... - Yeah.
- My assumption was like, "Oh, it's like the Florida Palace hotel." Well, no matter how many times I see it or how many times I hear somebody say it, every time I read the name of this hotel my brain adds an "I" no matter what. - Where does it add the "I"?
- The Floridian. - Ohhh.
- Floridani. - Idian. Dian.
- Did you just call me an idiot? - Yeah? What?
- "The Floridian, idiot." The – "you idiot." (to the tune of "American Idiot")
Don't wanna be a Floridian idiot! Oh, shit, you are by birth, though. How does it feel to be back
in the motherland, brother? - Oh, yeah. Welcome home.
- Oh, man, I hate it. I, um... I stepped outside and just
immediately started sweating. And I was like, "Just like old times, man." That's why I had to get it – I mean, I had to apologize when Chad Chad
came into my hotel room this morning because I had it at 65 degrees. It was just like a wall. Yeah, it was. Because if I'm gonna – If there's one
thing about me, I'm gonna be comfortable. And I think I'm just more
comfortable cold than I am warm, and there's just too
much warmth in Florida, so I have to fight it back
with whatever I have. You are the yin to my yang
as far as temperature goes. - Yeah.
- I naturally do not generate heat. It's, I would say, the most corrosive
element of any relationship I've had, has been the fact that I'm cold all
the time and unpleasant to touch. [JARVIS] I was gonna say it's – I've had the opposite relationship uh, in romantic relationships, - because I'm always hot.
- Mm. And, um... Women, turns out, that I date, do not like it when it's 65°. No, no. I was gonna say that it's like – - I kind of am on the same page as you.
- Yeah. Whenever it's – I prefer summertime
and, like, warmer months. But at the same time, I don't, because then it's like inside winter. - Yeah.
- It's like a new season. - It's a completely different thing.
- I prefer winter. And I've always liked
the winter, even in Florida. It does get cold in Florida, but... - Does it get less muggy when it's cold?
- No, it's like always – - It's always bad.
- That's sick. That's so cool. - That's good for you, I imagine.
- Yeah. But it is nicer when it's cold. But it's always a thing
where I'm just sweating and having to apologize about how cold it is. So, um, it's just like – Oh, I was gonna say, like, you don't complain as much
as you probably should, so I appreciate that. I'm just a stoic-as-hell guy,
yeah, I guess. - I'm built different.
- OK. The verisimilitude of a robot. I'm kind of the verisimilitude of
a great dude that's fun to love. Uh-huh, OK, cool. If you have to say it,
though, I don't know if it... OK. That's fine. Just nobody was saying it, but I could tell everyone wanted to. Um, so yeah, Creator Clash is over now. We're all flying out tonight, so we just wanted to get the pod in. - [JORDAN] Go pod mode.
- Quick li'l pod. Quick li'l – yeah, that. - We're done. It was really quick.
- Yeah, that was so quick I can't even – - (garbled speaking) I can't even –
- (quickly) Patreon.com/SadBoyz. Yeah. Speaking of Patreon.com/SadBoyz, there will be a bonus episode with Chad Chad right after this, but we're gonna do a whole pod
right now, so don't complain. OK? You get 90 minutes of free content. - OK? Sit back down right now.
- Sit! Some people say, "I wish they
didn't talk about Patreon." - We gotta keep Jordan in the country.
- OK? We're doing my best. No! (imitating someone
pounding on the door) Immigration. This morning, the cleaning
people tried to come and I had to have a
conversation in broken Spanish, which is one of my least favorite things, because I have the shame of knowing I took 5 years of Spanish and not being able to carry
a very simple conversation. - Does this apply to you also?
- Mmhmm. This is one of, like, - three big most American experiences.
- [CHAD CHAD] Really? - Mm.
- Universally. And no one seems to
think it's as crazy as – If I told you, like, "Yeah, I've been practicing
my driving test for 7 years, and I just never took it and can't drive." Like, in my case, it was mostly... I mean, this applied to
a bunch of my classes. But I took, I think, like
four semesters of Spanish. - It was a memorization game.
- [JARVIS] Exactly. - It's not immersive or, like...
- No, it's not. It's just like vocabulary words. And, um... So, it's like you cram study for a couple days before the test
or a quiz that you have. You memorize these words for one day, and then you, like, - toss it out to make room for other stuff.
- Exactly, other stuff you have to cram. Because the American school system is very easy to game - if you're good at cramming.
- If you just memorize, cram memorize, and then forget it. - That summarizes everything for me.
- One of the things I like the least about my own experience in school is that I didn't prioritize learning as much as I prioritized
getting the grade. - Mm.
- So, I got very good grades in school. - Same.
- But I, um, didn't learn as much as I should've.
And I think that that is, like – It's like, I could say
it's a personal failure, but I think that because it's so systemic it feels more like how we... how we teach and how
we, um, evaluate students. I mean, it's asking so much of a kid
to understand the distinction when all the adults around them are
rewarding them and incentivizing them - to do exactly what you did.
- Yeah. I mean, it would be like just driving
illegally and getting somewhere faster, everyone saying, "Nice, awesome." - Right.
- But then, like, it feel bad. - Yeah.
- In the future, now, it feels like - I was doing the wrong thing.
- Yeah, exactly. - It's the path of least resistance.
- Yeah. Um, but for my Spanish, because I did take it for so long, it
comes back whenever I immerse myself. Um, but I just don't use it so regularly. But it is one of those things where, if I'm in a Spanish-speaking country, like I was in Spain for a wedding recently, and I was like, "OK, I
know what's going on here." - You know?
- (Italian accent) Madonn'. That's your Italian mobster
thing that you say. - No, no, no, no.
- Mmhmm. It is. I'm a culture/travel guy.
(Italian accent) Bonjour. - That's French.
- (French accent) Bonjour, welcome to – uh, Brazil. - And you're not – OK.
- (French accent) In Germany. - OK, so, you're – OK, hold on.
- I've got to have hit one. - Somebody stop him.
- You're a Frenchman speaking English, welcoming me to France and Germany? - France in –
- Sorry, Brazil and Germany. - [CHAD CHAD] Brazil, yeah.
- Rio de Janeiro in Germany. I'm sure there's, like, a little Rio - in some German town.
- (French accent) A little Rio? - A teeny-weeny little Rio?
- (French accent) A petite Rio. - Quick li'l Rio.
- Quick li'l Rio. Oh, yeah, quick li'l pod. - You said you also had good grades?
- [CHAD CHAD] Huh? - You got good grades in school?
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Nerd. - What a loser.
- Thank you. But I was also homeschooled until
college. But in college – - How do you get bad grades in homeschool?
- That would be so funny - if you had awful grades at homeschool.
- "My mom is kicking my ass right now." "My math teacher was so mean,
and she was also all the other teachers. She was nice in math but mean in Spanish." I don't wanna assume. Um, what parent was homeschooling you? - My mom. Yeah.
- [JARVIS] OK. Um, but the thing is, and this is kinda like a... I don't know if this applies to every homeschooling experience.
I mean, obviously it doesn't. But there comes a point where, unless the parent who's
homeschooling you is, like, - an actual teacher,
- [JORDAN] Mmhmm. there comes a point where they can't really help you as much as they could. - [JARVIS] Mm.
- Do you have to eventually apply the knowledge in a traditional grading test environment? Kinda like getting a, um... If you don't finish high school,
there's a thing you get? - GED.
- Yeah, do you do that at the end, or...? Um, there are these programs. I'm not, like, well versed in all of them. But you'd have to report,
like, every semester. And I think you'd also
have to report the subjects that you were gonna be
covering every semester as well, and then at the end
you would report them. - It's not a flawless system.
- I wonder what sort of, like, subjects you can squeeze in there. Like, "I got an A+ in
cleaning the bathroom. - Doing chores my mom asked me to."
- "I've actually mastered gaming." - Yeah.
- I was homeschooled, too. Have I talked about that? For like a year and a half, two years. You maybe have alluded to it, but I don't recall much about it. I, at like 13, I just refused to keep going
to school. I just hated it. - [CHAD CHAD] Mm.
- Mm. Was it the racism? - I was too smart. It was too easy.
- [CHAD CHAD] Oh, yeah. It was – well, yeah, it was a mix between being really, really smart and
being called the N-word every day. - It would have been a mix.
- Yeah, that'll do it. And being bad at class, and
not liking it and hating my uniform. Uh, but I went – Yeah, I just stopped. I refused to go in for
a while, and then, like, yeah, we just iced it. Said, "OK, fine. Let's learn
the things you're interested in," because it's also the age
portion, where there's no... The grades you get at that age in
the UK, the equivalent of the tests do not impact anything practical. - Right.
- When you apply for college, you're not applying based on
your lifetime grade performances. - Yeah.
- It's 6 months before you apply. - That is everything.
- Right, like it can't – It's like committing a crime
as, like, a minor or whatever. And getting into
university in the UK is like – not for a lot of places, but
certainly the Ivy League equivalents, which are a lot more judicious, and then there's certain
courses they're a lot more strict. But in my case, applying for an art school, it's jazz. Like, you can just be, like... You can just write a
convincing enough cover letter and get some recommendations
from teachers that really liked you. And you just get in. I got into
a good college without grades. I just didn't have any
grades. I was just... - Damn, that's like such a flex.
- [CHAD CHAD] Yeah, no. Yeah. - "I don't have grades."
- "I don't have grades. - I have style. I have swag."
- You're too cool for school, literally. - "Grades? Sorry. Never heard of 'em."
- I truly rizzed my way into school. "Um, may I attend this school with rizz?" Trying to kiss them on the cheek. - Yeah.
- (French accent) "Mon ami, welcome to..." "Mon ami." It always comes
back to French with you. [JORDAN] (French accent)
Hey, welcome to Australia. - [JARVIS] Still wrong.
- (French accent) Les Australia. Why is the accent always French? Are you trying to figure out
where France is? (French accent) No, no,
this one is at the Outback. - The Outback?
- Le Outback. - Still in Australia.
- (French accent) On my dad's kangaroo. - Look out.
- OK. Are you, like, on some sort of - like, wildlife expedition?
- Like a safari. (French accent) What the hell? A lion! - He's telling us what he sees.
- (French accent) This is crazy. A whale. - There's a – a whale.
- There's a whale?! - Wait, now I'm interested.
- Yeah, (French accent) I can't believe it. (French accent) It's a whale, a land whale. (French accent) There's a land-based whale. Ah, I'm a head shark. Ah, sac - sharkrebleu. - [JARVIS] "Sharkrebleu." Man.
- Oh. [JORDAN] I'm delirious, by the way. I think I got punched. - Oh, yeah.
- Big punching weekend, huh? - [JARVIS] Big punching weekend.
- Lots of punching. [JARVIS] Lots of punching. Creator Clash was super fun.
It was super great to see everybody, have friends come out and support me. I lost. It's fine. Um, and, uh, - it was super cool.
- The people's champ. The people's champ, dude.
I got a good round in there, - and then I had a classic asthma attack.
- Hell yeah. Um, but that's my own doing, 'cause I got sort of caught by the lights – the
"lights, camera, action" of it all. My, like, nerves got the best of me,
and then I didn't do my game plan, 'cause I knew I would, like, run the risk of activating my - exercise-induced asthma.
- And that's the thing, right? Is the thing you can't train for - is stepping out into the walkout.
- Yeah. - And Arin had done that before.
- It's true. Um, you know, not to take
anything away from Arin. - I think he trained really hard for this.
- Yeah. And he deserves it, and everything. He was fun about it, too.
It's nice that it wasn't – Actually, I can't think of anybody that
had, like, a really contentious pre-fight. No, I think it was all pretty... Everybody was pretty cordial
and pretty friendly about everything. And Arin and I had a
lot of good conversations, mostly to talk about
Magic: The Gathering, um, before and after the fight. Uh, but... Would you consider doing it, Chad Chad? - Fighting?
- [JORDAN] Mmhmm. I – somebody asked me that the other night, and I said that I don't think I would, mainly because of just
the commitment of it. - Mmhmm.
- And now, because of you doing this, - I know how much of a time, like...
- Firsthand account, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just
a crazy amount of work. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And I don't think I could do that. Yeah. You know, when I – I said I wouldn't do it again, and most of it is actually because
of the amount of commitment. 'Cause there's just so
much stuff that I couldn't do as a result of the commitment. And I'm really glad that
I did it this once, but – Do you wanna keep training at all? I know obviously you
wanna stay in shape. Yeah, I wanna stay in shape. I definitely wanna, uh... So, one of the issues is that I had a lot of health stuff. I think I talked about this on
the pod before, but I hurt my back, and that prevented me from, like, running. So, I wanna try to actually focus on that and get back to running,
'cause it's something I enjoy. Uh, and so I have the... What would happen
before is if I tried to run and I fucked anything up
and tightened my back up, - it would mean I couldn't train.
- Mmhmm. So, I was in a good
cadence where I could, like, do my PT workouts and stuff and then also be able to train. But now, since I don't have that sort of fight coming up, I can commit some time to, like, uh, getting back to, like, cardio, because that's obviously
something that, like, is gonna be super beneficial just in my life moving forward. But I would consider doing, um, you know, they asked me
to do chessboxing last year, but I didn't want to
run the risk of an injury and then not being
able to do Creator Clash. And I think that was
the right decision for me, considering that there were some people
who competed in both events and, you know, had to drop out or what have you. But... But I, uh... Because chessboxing has less of a... has less of a training window, it's something I would consider.
If it was like a couple months, then that's one thing. I could, like, plan ahead for something like that. Um, but for Creator Clash, you're kind of, like – I got the message about Creator Clash when I was basically on the plane - from last Creator Clash.
- Yeah. And, uh, that's how long
it's occupied my headspace. So, it's been a full year of
me thinking about boxing. - [CC] Yeah.
- Even before I committed to do it, it was a thing of, like, "How is this gonna impact X, Y,
and Z aspect of my life?" and stuff. So, I'm so – Like, I was smiling so much
after the fight if you look at me, because I was like,
"I'm finally fucking done." [JARVIS] And I didn't get hurt. Unfortunately, like, I had to make a call, because I knew
I wouldn't be able to catch my breath, um, to end the fight. I waved it off. I was like, "OK, I'm good." Um, and that was because I was like, "I cannot catch my breath, and so as a result I will
just keep taking headshots while I'm trying to catch my
breath, and I like my head." - Sure.
- "And I wanna protect it." - It's one of the best faces you have.
- Yeah. We like your head too. That's why you're the looks
and I'm the brains of the show. - Exactly.
- And the muscle and the, like, charm. Exactly, yeah. And we have a great – And I didn't wanna mess
up the balance that we have. - I'm the face, too.
- Oh. - You're a face.
- (all doing French accents) Welcome to... - [JORDAN] I can't believe it.
- [JARVIS] Welcome to Kenya. There's a... tiger? There's a rare land bird. - It flies in the sand.
- Le penguin. There is a penguin. It's a penguin. It's a safari penguin. It drives ze truck. It drives a Jeep 4Runner. It's all-wheel drive penguin. It leases a Land Rover. - (normal voice) So, anyway...
- I like this guy. - I like this character.
- It was such a, um... It was a really positive experience,
and I think that, like – I had a rough night on Saturday, and, um – where, like, after sort of the "lights, the camera,
and action" of everything, like, seeing fans... like, I wanna
thank everybody who came out. It was so great to meet everybody. Uh, it's like, because I
haven't had a ton of these like, live outings, it was crazy to see people
who had made signs for me and people who just really wanted photos and people, like, hyperventilating
and really excited to meet me, or somebody taking a photo of me in my merch before the show. And they
were like, "I'm gonna try to find you," and then I later saw them that night and we took a picture. And I
was like, "This is all so sweet." You got the whole YouTube squad out. - Yeah. We got the squad out.
- You had a damn Royal Rumble of a squad. It was cool. No, it was cool, and I got a chance to walk out - with all of you guys.
- [CC] Yeah. And that was just,
like, such a special, um, special experience for me. I was, like, almost in tears before
the fight even started, just out of gratitude
and really just, like, appreciation for everyone who was
in my corner, like, literally and figuratively. I think I – even thinking
about it gets me welled up. I... was like, in the same way you are, been so aware of you
doing this for such a long time that it's just become, like, "Oh, it's my boxing friend, Jarvis." Like, "When are we doing the show?"
"Oh, that's gonna cut into boxing," or... Uh, I... Even when we were about to walk out, it was like, "Hey, you know, a bit
of performance, doing some stuff." We start walking out, I'm, you know, I'm not getting
in the ring. My heart rate's pretty low. I'm feeling fine. And then I sat down, and there's something to... It's so uncinematic sitting at a low angle – 'cause
I was literally in your corner. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Sitting at a low angle next to Kwik. - Yeah, my coach.
- A trainer. And, like, just – my little trainer fighter badge, just watching it – As soon as it started happening, I cried for like five seconds. - Yeah.
- Just like one time, just like, - "Oh, fucking hell."
- Yeah. It took me a second to be like,
"He's supposed to get punched." - "That's allowed to happen."
- Yeah. - "I don't need to get in there."
- I told Jarvis that. I was like, "I was almost in tears. - Like, I was about to cry."
- It was just very – Not good or bad. It's just like, uh... I don't know. It was, like, overwhelming. And I know how much it means to you,
and how hard you worked for it. Yeah. It's like, um... You know, uh, I let myself be, you know... have my emotions. Like, I let myself feel
my emotions on Saturday. But after that, like – Or, excuse me. Yeah,
the fight was on Saturday. And then after that, on Sunday... - It's Monday when we record this.
- It's Monday when we're recording this, um, and then yesterday
was the day after the fight. We just got brunch together
with a bunch of friends. Uh, we, like, all went out last night. And just, like, being surrounded by friends and just sharing in fun times and, like, just being able to fully be present and not be thinking about how it impacts other
aspects of my life and stuff was just such a grounding experience. I, like, tried to text
every friend last night that I was super grateful for them. And it meant a lot to me
that you both came out. Um... Yeah, I was thinking about figuring out some way that we can do similar group trips, at least for
a lot of us to meet up, independent of - third-party kind of events.
- Yeah. - Organized.
- It's never easy to be like, "Hey, you are going on vacation with me." Right, 'cause everyone's – it's
like you need a work excuse. - It's one of those situations –
- We do a safari. - Oh.
- Le safari. (both doing French accents)
I'm from Melbourne. It is a sand bear. - It is ze bear that buries under the sand.
- Ah, le... I'm from Beijing. - I can't believe it.
- I can't believe it. I am from Japan. - My name is, uh, Xi Jinping.
- I am from, uh, Yokohama. - (normal voice) You do it.
- I'm good. I'm gonna... You were saying, like,
maybe, maybe punching? - [CHAD CHAD] Huh?
- Maybe next time you punch? You do punching next time? - In – next year at Creator Clash?
- [JORDAN] Yeah, maybe. - I was saying that?
- You were saying, maybe...? - Why are you talking like that?
- Huh? - Are you OK?
- I'm nervous. I'm shy. I'm a smol bean. No, I didn't say – - I didn't say that.
- Would you be tempted – what if it was something
smaller-scale? What about, like, a "it's only people that have
been training for three weeks"? It's the Will Haynes rule. I don't know. I... I would have to think about it. It's definitely more appealing that way than it is, like, with the whole year. And, like, you're leaving this event. If I were to leave here tonight and
then I get a text on the plane, like, "Next year," I would just
cry the whole way home. But I don't know. I would
have to think about it. It's... Um... Just, like, the crowd. Like, walking – The walkout last night
we were just talking about, that was so stressful, - just walking behind you.
- Yeah. For context, I just had a bunch of friends. I think there was maybe 9 people total just walking behind me. Like, "What are we
doing that's special?" I'm like, "Nothing. Just walk out with me." - I thought it'd be cool.
- And I was like, "Oh my god. - That's so stressful."
- [JARVIS] Yeah. Me and Eddy, I feel like
we were going insane. - That was awesome.
- There's, like, - action shots of me and Eddy screaming.
- Oh, yeah. The way Eddy tells it – Eddy Burback, friend of the show.
Listen to the Eddy episode. But the way Eddy tells it, he
was like, "I was just gonna" – this is my Eddy. He's like, "I was just gonna
keep myself, you know, like I was just gonna be calm. And then I see Jordan
and he's going crazy, and then I just felt like
I had to match his energy." So, there's these photos of Jordan
like "Yeah!" and Eddy's like "Yeah!" And there's a photo that's
on my Instagram of Drew... - [CHAD CHAD] Drew in the background.
- He looks like... He's, like, concerned. He's doing the walking
pose of, like, Sasquatch. - That one photo of Bigfoot.
- It was so funny, 'cause, um, Amanda took these photos – Amanda, Drew's wife, who's a friend of mine –
a friend of ours, as well. And she was like, um... What did she tell me? No, 'cause – I was sitting next to
Drew at brunch yesterday. And he was like, "I just
didn't know what to do. Like, I was just so confused. I was just, like, so
overwhelmed. I don't know." So, I'm glad he was a good sport about me posting that
photo, 'cause it's so funny. It is great follow-up.
"The duality of man." Yeah. Dude, I love every
one of my friends, you know? Also shout out to Jakey – NakeyJakey, - Billie, Chrissy.
- Li'l Teddy. Um, Ted, Shae. Just – Sam, Berry, Nan. Um, "Sam, Berry, Nan" kinda
sounds like "Knott's Berry Farm." - Yeah. (quickly) Sam Berry Nan.
- Um, Frogan. Oh my god. The list goes on. It's like one of those things where I don't wanna leave anyone out by... But just holding onto that meant
knowing which ones we already said. Yeah. I just... You know, I'm just
overwhelmed with gratitude. - We forgot about...
- Oh, Chad Chad. - Yeah. It's fine. It's OK.
- [JARVIS] Oh, man. That's... damn. It's not like I'm sitting in the
same room as you or anything. Oh, but you are sitting in the same room. - He chose not to say it.
- Oh, yeah. Oh. Where are we? - We're in the room.
- The Floridian Palace hotel. - No, the Floridan.
- Dammit, OK. Dan-it, actually. Um... Wait. So, uh, I wanna talk, Chad Chad, - about you a bit, because...
- [CHAD CHAD] Oh, no. - She's sweaty.
- [CHAD CHAD] Oh, no. Oh, shit. I know. This is the part of the podcast
where we make you talk about yourself. - [CHAD CHAD] God.
- Tell us the truth. I feel like you, to a lot of people, just popped out fully formed. - You know? On the internet.
- I just showed up. - Would you say that?
- Yeah, they're like, "There's this new content creator, and they're very funny, and they're talking about men with podcasts on
the internet," or whatever. Yeah. Was it the podcasts? - [JARVIS] Alpha male podcasts.
- Was it that? - You had videos before then, but...
- [CHAD CHAD] I did, yeah. I'm just saying, um, like, what was your content creator journey like? How did you end up in the
situation where you were like, "I'm gonna upload something, with my blue hair"? With my – oh, god. The wig. - [JARVIS] The wig.
- That's like the bane of my existence, - the blue wig.
- You're, like, very Scott Pilgrim-pilled. - Yeah.
- You're, like, Ramona Flowers-core. [CHAD CHAD] Oh my god. The Ramona Flowers. Um, so, first I'll talk about the wig. So, the wig – the wig was because – so, I buzzed my hair off in 2019 or something like that. Why? Was something weird
happening in the world? - Um, just in my head, probably.
- Oh, just in your head, yeah. You're like, "I can't leave this place!" [CHAD CHAD] You know, if you talk to – I had talked to a few
women, and it's like... It's a thing where they're like, "You
have to do it at least once in your life." - [JARVIS] Yeah.
- You just have to shave it all off just to experience it one time.
If you don't like it, it's fine, but you still need to do it. I also just wanna sort of
make a meta-contextual note that I was kind of referencing the Britney Spears thing, because there was this thing
in the media where if a woman - buzzes her hair, at least then...
- Oh, yeah. - It's like "Oh, mental breakdown."
- Yeah, it's coded like a mental breakdown. [JARVIS] And obviously this
isn't that, and it's just like, um... It's just an experience, because, like, there's so much thought that goes into my hair, you know? It's just a thing that you
constantly have to worry about. - Yeah. Just being your friend –
- [CHAD CHAD] You're always, always - thinking about your hair.
- Being your friend, I know you're always thinking about your hair. In the best way, 'cause it's like you've gotta be coloring
your hair. You've gotta be – - There's a lot of upkeep.
- Like, appointments. Yeah. And there's, "I got this color.
I don't like this color. I'm gonna fix it." That's a
thing that does happen. - I talk about it, yeah.
- I'll get a text that's like, "I went to the salon. And I showed them the color I want and it's not the color I want." And I'm like, "Oh, no!" And then you send me a photo
and it's like a gorgeous photo. The hair looks amazing. - "IT'S WRONG!"
- And then she's like, "I'm gonna fix it." It's kinda like – And then the next thing I find out,
it's like, "OK, it's better." And I'm like, "Did you even
need to go to the salon? 'Cause it seems like you..." I've been doing my own hair for forever, and then recently I've gotten
to a point where I'm like, - "OK, I don't have as much time."
- [JARVIS] Right. So I've tested out a couple of
salons and it hasn't gone great. I think it's just like a
transition period from, like, for so long doing it
myself, and it's like I can... You know, I know better
than anybody what I want. - Of course.
- You've set the success parameters, right? - It can only miss.
- So it's just – yeah. It's like working with editors. - Yeah.
- You've got a creative vision. - A clear idea.
- And – You know so immediately.
Your taste is so refined. You immediately know, "I want this. I don't want that." - [CHAD CHAD] Mmhmm.
- And the other person doesn't know that. So when you see it,
you're like, "This isn't it." - Mmhmm.
- And so you've gotta, like, find – You're so good at finding that. You know exactly what
the image is in your head. Mmhmm. Yeah. But... But no, it wasn't like a mental. It was just something
you have to try one time, where you do it and you're not
worried about your hair and it's just a... You – I don't know, you... - change your hair, you do stuff.
- [CHAD CHAD] I do. - You express yourself with your –
- Change stuff up. - And it was just something I hadn't done.
- It's dope. It's another version of that. So, anyway, the wigs, that was – The reason I was wearing wigs at the time was because I was growing out the buzz cut. - [JARVIS] Right.
- So it was in this really awkward stage - where it's not a chic short hairstyle,
- Mmhmm. and it's also not a shoulder-length hairstyle or anything like that. Um, and yeah, I don't know. So that's why I was wearing the wigs. And they weren't good wigs,
but they were better than the hair that I had at the time. - I thought the wigs were cool.
- Um... - Anyway, sorry. What was the question?
- The question was about how you sort of... got to the point where you were
like, "I'm gonna make content." [CHAD CHAD] Um... I think it was like a collection of things, just over probably a period of a year. - Um...
- Building up to it? Building up to it. I think I had always been watching YouTube and consuming YouTube and just, like, almost... Like, every type, just kind of
a fascination kinda thing. - [JARVIS] Right.
- Thank you so much. - Yeah.
- You especially. 'Cause I was thinking about uploading - in a couple of years from then.
- Yeah. You were like, "I saw this empty
channel called Jordan Adika. - Accruing subscribers through osmosis.
- I was like, 'Maybe I'll start my channel so that he one day will come
out of his content drought.'" "Maybe I should make bad stuff in a couple of years." Yeah. But, um... So, yeah, it's like a
back-of-the-mind thing where you're like, "I
wonder if I could do that. That seems kinda cool. I wonder
if I could do that." But then, um, the pandemic happened and, um, so that was 2020, and then I started working from home, and then something happened
toward the end of 2020 where I was working
from home for less hours. What did you used to do? For work, if you're
comfortable talking about it. During the pandemic, I was
working at this call center for a dental and orthodontist billing company. I think I can say that, as
long as I don't say – yeah. What was the name of them?
Where are they? Address? How much did you get paid? - The Floridian Palace. Um...
- Hmm. You should – that's odd. Wait, I should – and this is – I'm sorry to do this. But I have to talk about
the name of the hotel again. Um... There is a sandwich shop called The Floridian, and a few of our friends accidentally Ubered there
instead of back to their hotel. And were just stuck at a subway shop, and the driver – Nandre
was telling me this. He was like, "The driver was like, 'I'm
gonna hop a U-ie,'" and he was like, "Why?" He was like, "The
Floridian." And he was like, - "This is a Jersey Mike's."
- "This is a Subway." Yeah. OK, no, but you were working at a, uh, dental billing call center. Yeah. It was like third-party billing - for dental companies.
- Was it like chasing down – - Oh, like so somebody –
- It wasn't like chasing. It was – we were, like, taking care of their payment accounts. Right. When I get a bill from my dentist, it's not coming from the dentist's office. It's coming from, like, - [JARVIS] "Denta-bill.com" or whatever.
- Yeah. Like, say you go in and you get something - and you take a payment plan
- [JARVIS] Mmhmm. - where you're paying monthly to cover.
- [JARVIS] Right. They would be the ones
drafting the payment every month. - [JARVIS] Got it.
- So they work with them. Um, and I was in the
customer service department, and so people – it would just – It entailed people calling in and saying, "My payment didn't go through," or "I need
to change my card," and that's the extent. - That was the job.
- [JARVIS] Right. And you didn't wanna
stop doing that, 'cause it's fun. Oh, that was great. I loved that. It was – people never took out - their anger on you.
- [JORDAN] Sure, yeah. - Why would they project it to a stranger?
- Misplaced projections. That never happened, and
nobody was ever mean to me - and called me names.
- I assume they were more respectful - on account of you being a woman.
- They were. They really respected my authority. When I told them what was
going on, and they believed me. "When I told them the facts that existed." Right. That you had no personal investment in. [CHAD CHAD] Yeah, when
I was like, "I didn't personally reject your payment. Your card is expired," they always took my
word for it and were like, - "Oh, no problem. I'll get that fixed."
- Yeah, "That's my own mistake." - "That was on me."
- "You made your name all numbers." "You were probably wrong when
you filled it out. I hate to be that way." Um, yeah, but that was the – Are there any stories from that period in your life that – or that job that come to mind? Any shit you wanna get out? Any axe you wanna grind? - Any addresses?
- I think that... I'm trying to remember. There were so many. It was just like every day
there was one of those, but it's kind of like now I've suppressed some of it. That's good. That's healthy. I think this – one time somebody was so mad about their payment not going correctly that they, like, tried to find the address of the place, like the billing place. - Um, I remember that one.
- [JARVIS] Horrifying. - To what end?
- Yeah, what is he gonna do? Yeah, and sometimes you would just get people who were
having a really bad day and would say things
that would just scare you. - [JARVIS] Oh, no.
- And it was – Yeah, sometimes it was... It was rough. But – What a insane thing to do because you got a crown. Yeah. "I got a filling
done, and now I'm gonna - take out my anger on..."
- "I guess I have to threaten someone." - Yeah.
- Well, and then – So, I was working there, um... I started sometime in 2019. 2020, when the pandemic –
it got so much worse, - Oh, no.
- because people were getting laid off and there were all
these changes happening, and it was... It got really rough around that time, and it was just like this
shift in general in everyone. And it was understandable,
'cause everyone was feeling it, - [JARVIS]
- but including the people who were, like, in the customer service department talking to all these other people. So it was just like both sides... Like, all that panic and the money stuff, it got so bad in 2020 to
the point where I was like... Every day, I was just in tears, like, working from home, and just like every phone call you're just waiting for
somebody to start yelling at you. It was just terrible. - Be nice.
- You get, what, a fucking 2-minute refractory period - between the next awful phone call.
- No, you don't. That's another thing. So, I
worked at another call center before that call center,
and this is something... It is so stressful, because you're on a
computer the whole time, and you're not allowed to leave your desk except for your breaks or your lunch, and they know what you're doing - every second of the day.
- That's crazy. So, like, they know
when you're on the phone. They know when you hang up the phone. They know how long you're
sitting there noting the account. They know how long it takes for you to – They know how long
you sat in between calls. They know how long
you were on your break. They know... you know, - they know every single second.
- That's so wack. Like, there are some
things where it's like, um... You can say you're away, um, which is what you
usually use for the bathroom, but it's like, "Five minutes! You were gone for five minutes on Tuesday! And that wasn't your break time! What are you doing?" - And it's just...
- [JORDAN] "Were you shitting?" [CC] "Were you taking a massive
dump? What was going on?" - "Show us pictures."
- "Picture now." Um, but yeah, it's just like every second, and you're just constantly, it's like eyes on you coming out of the computer
screen. You just, like... And, um, they can hear. Everything's recorded, too,
so they're just like – - Every phone call, everything you do.
- For quality assurance purposes. Right, yeah, and for
surveillance purposes as well. - Yeah, um...
- Yeah, that's how the Patriot Act worked. "For quality assurance purposes." "We're just surveilling Americans
for quality assurance." Um, so yeah, call centers are not – I don't recommend. I will say that the one
that I worked at before the billing company was worse. - [JORDAN] Really?
- It was surprisingly worse, yeah. Imagine if hell was
really hot. Like, way hotter. I think I was only there for - three months or so,
- [JARVIS] OK. and, um... For reference, at the one that
I said I was crying every day, I was there for two years. - So the other one,
- [JARVIS] Oh my god. the other one, I was only
there for three months. Um, it was – I don't know if you guys
have ever had this, where... Say you go to the hospital for an outpatient - um, kind of procedure,
- [JORDAN] Mmhmm. and then maybe you get a phone call asking you about your experience. It was like that.
It was that kinda thing. But no, it was also just surveys in general. Like, calling, but it was cold-calling, - out, like,
- [JARVIS] Oh. out-center calling, reaching out to people, not them calling in - to talk to you.
- Not just medical. No, not just medical. Right, but anything where
you're cold-calling is rough. Yeah, where you're calling someone
else and you're asking questions, and they, um... But also, it's like multiple choice. You – you'd have to read all the choices to them. It's like, "Strongly agree, agree, disagree, or strongly disagree?" And you've gotta read every... It was insane, because it was – Some of these companies would not – It's like they couldn't grasp that people do not want to do this. They don't care - about these surveys.
- Yeah, no one wants a cold-call. They would send scripts. Also, there was a book of things that you were allowed to say, and you were not allowed to say anything. So, like, if I call you;
I'm like, "Hey, how's it going," written up. You can't say anything that is not in this book. What are they worried
people are gonna say? - It's –
- "Help, I'm being held hostage by a terrible call center." "This one's worse than the one
I'm gonna do in the future." "This one's worse," yeah. It was – it was so insane. Somebody would be like, "Oh,
hi, how are you?" and I'd be, like, - flipping through this book.
- Oh, no! - That's how bad it was.
- And "hi, how are you" sounds like a rare thing that you would get. It was, yes. It was. - "Who the fuck is this?"
- [CHAD CHAD] Yeah. - "Why are you calling me?"
- And I don't blame them. - I really don't blame them.
- "They said 'fuck off and die.' - I need to... where in the...?"
- "I'll just notate the account. They told me to jump off a bridge." [JARVIS] Yeah. Um, "It says I say, 'Oh, thank you. Have a nice day' in response
to 'Jump off a bridge.'" "Jump off a bridge" is the
first thing in the pipeline. - Like, the most common saying.
- It's in order of frequency. They're like, "Oh, 'F off
and die'? That's page one." "'Lie down in the middle
of the freeway'? OK, yeah." "No, a rare insult is on page 17. It says, uh, 'I hope you get
swallowed by a sand shark.'" "A lot of options for this." "Huh? What? Why?" "I hope you get run over by a penguin - in a 4Runner"?
- "Penguin in a Jeep Wrangler"? [JORDAN] "They have that?" "What accent are you doing, sir?" Oh, yeah, I guess you have to be, like, faux formal as well, right? Like, "Oh, well thank you,
madame," or whatever. - Um...
- "Thank you, sire." - [CHAD CHAD] "Sire."
- "For giving me your 'strongly disagree.'" "Many thanks upon you,
sir, for splitting the harvest." "Ever so grateful." "Fuck off and die in the road." "I wanna kill you with an axe." Page. "I can't read, sir." "What does this book say?" "Unfortunately, I don't know how to read." "I must follow the parchment." "I must follow the scroll." "Let me consult the scroll." [JARVIS] It's like Dobby the house-elf. "I'm afraid I can't speak back to you, sir. I'm not allowed to respond to that one." You get fired by being given a sock. Oh, remember when Hermione
was like, "Slavery is bad," and JK Rowling had her
characters make fun of her for it? - "Stop being so annoying."
- "What a dumbo." "Hermione, you should shut up,
like the woman that you are." - "What a try-hard."
- "Anyway, do our homework." Yeah. "You nerd. You anti-slavery dork." "You stupid nerd, dude." - Oh my god.
- "This is civil rights." - Oh my god.
- "Get the hell outta here." I'm, like – is there something that we can
impart on the audience for the well-being of people who are in that job today? Like, how has that affected
how you take those calls? Like, when you find yourself talking to someone from a call center. You're definitely a lot nicer. I mean... - Oh, like you are when you receive those.
- When I receive them, yeah. "What's uuuuup – you can't answer that." Well, actually, my mom – So, when I was working at
the survey – call – the bad one. They called it the Survey Corps as
kind of an Attack on Titan reference. When I was working, I, uh – I was working there and my mom, um, she obviously knew what the job was, 'cause I was still living
with my mom at that point. And, um, one day she was like, "Oh, I got a call today, um, asking me to do a survey, and I did it because I
was thinking about you." She was like, "I told them to - F off and... don't die."
- "I told them to jump off a bridge." "Jump off a bridge"? "Jump off a bridge, but
land safely in the water." - "Land safely."
- "Jump off of your fridge." - "Is your refrigerator running?"
- "And into your lovely fluffy bed." - Oh my god.
- "Sleep well. Sweet dreams." (Britishly) "I'm afraid I'm not allowed - to respond to that one."
- "I'm not allowed to sleep." "No one's ever said nuffin' so nice to me." "Why is this in the paper?" "Oh, goodness 'pon gracious." - This guy... "I'm off to Australia."
- Yeah. "Going to the outback to
be with my Jeep Wrangler." - Non-spon.
- Um... I guess just... To what you were saying
about imparting wisdom about the current call center employees, - it's not their fault. Like, ever.
- Yeah. - They also don't like it.
- They also, like, don't want to be doing, probably, what they're having to do. And it's like, the... Um, I guess compartmentalizing the – The person you're talking to and the company that you
are trying to communicate with - are not, like, the same.
- Yeah. They're not – they're not one and one. They don't have the same
responsibilities and, like, in a lot of cases, they're
just a clueless as you are when you call in, and they... They probably have as
much information as you do, but, like, they're gonna
figure it out as you go. So, as long as you understand
that at the beginning of the call and you don't just jump on there like,
"You need to tell me why this happened, because you know, because
you work at this place, so obviously you know everything
that there is to know about this," um, that's the wrong mentality to have when you hop on the phone. Do you feel like any of that kind of, uh, resilience and endurance was helpful for the creator
kinda kickoff experience? Getting into YouTube was a little easier because you're used to - being very tired?
- Maybe. I've never thought... Like, you mean getting comments? No, just purely like the
kinda persistence needed to get that career going, knowing the feeling of being burned out and, I guess, having a job where you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. Yeah. I think... that was definitely... a good thing, where it
was like, "I'm gonna... "I'm gonna make these videos, and nobody's gonna
call me and yell at me." - [CHAD CHAD] That's always a plus.
- Well, wait 'til they do, uh, text-to-speech YouTube support calls. (stilted) "We'd like to read you
comments you've recently received - on your new video."
- "Hello, sire. I have been tilling the field." - [CHAD CHAD] There is this –
- "They're salting the lands." "The Mongols have destroyed my farm." - "The Dothraki horde."
- The horde. Um, there is this thing that I remember vividly at the beginning of YouTube that I don't know if
you guys will remember. Um, where you don't have a following, and so when you post videos the only people who see it are people who don't give a shit - about you.
- Yeah. - And so every comment is mean.
- It's like a cold-call. It is like a cold-call, yeah! - So nobody cares.
- They're upset you're in front of them. And they're like, "How dare you? Why are you doing that?" - "Go sit down."
- Do you guys have the experience of, like, I don't know why Shorts
is so consistent with this, but I'd say one in every five YouTube
Shorts I get from scrolling through it is a four-view "vlog of my day at
the aquarium," or something. - It's, like, oddly small-scale.
- Yeah. Uh, and I... I have checked the
comments on some of those, because it's being shown – it almost
feels like it shouldn't be shown publicly. This is a post for friends. - It's accidental, yeah.
- Right. Then they post, you know, like, "Here's me playing Batman:
Arkham Asylum with my brother!" - Yeah.
- and it's like, "Hey, shut the fuck up. - Stupid gaming bitch."
- Yeah. It's just like, "Why
would you leave this? - This is crazy."
- There are people, like, um, I remember Hannah Hart, who's like a sort of previous
generation of YouTube a little bit, um, like when she started, I mean. Her channel, I was watching a talk with her years ago and she talked about how
her channel started because she wanted to share herself cooking with a friend of hers - that was not physically, like, located –
- Oh, yeah. and that that was the best way to do that, was to make a video on YouTube. And then it just so happened to be public. - Wow.
- And that was the first My Drunk Kitchen video. - That's insane.
- [JARVIS] Yeah. - That's amazing.
- And, so, like, I can imagine she's like, "What the hell? People are – oh my god, a bunch
of people are watching this video. - It was just supposed to be for Lauren."
- Yeah. It starts out "Hi, Lauren," you know? - "Hello, Lauren, and no one else."
- Yeah. - "Oh, she's rewatching this a lot."
- Oh my gosh. - "140,000 times."
- "She made a bunch of accounts - and just keeps commenting."
- "A lot of mean shit she's saying." Yeah. "Why would she say that about me?" So, we should talk about the fact that you create under a pseudonym. - Do we?
- You're like a... Robert... what's the JK Rowling one? "Robert Kendrell" or whatever. - Oh, yeah. Robert E. Lee.
- Robert Galbraith? Is that it? That might be it. Um, Kingsley Shacklebolt. - Robert Galbraith.
- Oh, I guess she's kind of... - She doesn't really...
- I'm trying to say you're the same as her. She isn't really subscribing
to gender norms, I guess. Her name is flexible. That's interesting.
It doesn't bother her at all. Yeah. OK. So, but you create under a pseudonym, and the reason I bring that up is because you were talking about
when you first started YouTube. And the reason that I don't have that experience is because the first videos I posted, I shared with my Facebook friends. - Ohhh.
- So the first people watching my video were people I knew in real life. Nobody know that I was
posting videos in my real life. So yeah, that does make sense. Yeah. So, that makes
sense, that you were like... You were literally an anonymous person. You're like when someone
turns up with no identification. - That's, like, you.
- A John Doe. - Yeah.
- A Jason Bourne. I just floated onto the beach. - "I can't remember anything."
- Yeah, exactly. "Oh, have you seen these
alpha male podcasters?" "What the hell? Why
do I have this training? - I'm able to make fun of these guys."
- Yeah. "Her voice kinda sounds like somebody who asked me if I strongly
agreed with my service." I just, like, every – I give a take and then I'm like, "Strongly agree, agree, - disagree, strongly disagree?"
- "This voice kinda makes me really angry, and I don't know why." "We're not on the phone,
but I wanna hang up on her." "I'm on a date. Shut the hell up!" - Um...
- Do you, uh... wait... Did you even, at any point, question-mark whether you should - use your real name?
- No. - [JORDAN] Just, day one?
- I think it's too hard to remember. It's just, like, a thing
in my whole entire life of just people getting my name wrong, never remembering my name. And that was in real life, like, when you're face-to-face with people. And so I was like, on the internet,
nobody's gonna remember my channel name if I use my real name. That's so interesting, because... I feel like an idiot
for using my real name. - Do you?
- 'Cause people ask me if Jarvis Johnson is a stage name, and I'm like, "No, that's
just the one I was given. - Was that an option?"
- "Do you need, like, - a guardian's maiden name, or...?
- I would have done something way cooler. What would you have done? - Mm...
- Blaze. - [CHAD CHAD] Blade.
- Yeah, like, um... - Uh, Sicko Killingsworth.
- [CHAD CHAD] Ryan Gosling. - From Hogwarts.
- Yeah. "The Murder Teacher." - Yeah, I teach knifery.
- I mean, if either of us was in one of those books, we'd be called Indentured O'Servitudey.
Chattel Slaveradio. Um, what did I say my name would be? Um... My name would be, like, Halfsie
Blackandwhite, or whatever. - Wait, I think I tweeted this.
- Caramello Contrast. Caramello Contrastie. "Caramello Contrast." Oh my god. I definitely, um – I can't believe she called
a character Cho Chang. Every single time I think
about that, I'm like, it's actually impressive
that she got away with it, that her and Robert got away with it. Yeah, I tweeted, "Downloading Hogwarts Legacy just so
the game can call me Halfsie Shackleblack." It's be great if there was, like, a – I know there was a conscious effort
in the development of that game to, you know, distance itself
from some of the wonky ideology, psychopath behavior of
JK Rowling/Robert E. Lee, whatever her name is. Slash the Jynx. Uh, and they – I know one of the things was like, uh, they included a trans character
very early in the game. It would be fun if, whenever you do
an actual JK Rowling-style name, you make like a Black character and
include the word "shackle" or something, the game goes, like,
"You sure? You want...? Um... uh, there's something – - Oh, there's a bug. We can't."
- "Oh, whoops! Error. That name's been taken." It's like, "This is an offline game." - "Yeah, but it's..."
- "No, but it was taken. We saved some just in case." "Oh, it's... it's uninstalling." "It was a character we cut, so you're not allowed to use the name." "No, no, no. That word is not yours." "That word is not yours." - 23andMe.
- It turns on a webcam to look at you. - Oh, shit.
- [JARVIS] It's like, "Hold on." It's looking at me and
being like, "Uhhhh..." - Yeah. "Hmm, interesting."
- "Maybe some of the word?" - Yeah, you could use half the word.
- The first or last half. - Oh my god.
- Uh... What were you saying about race? (inaudible) - Yeah, what isn't she saying?
- What didn't I say? - Um, do you –
- In Joe Brandon's America? Let's go, dude. Do you ever, um, feel like a plastic bag? Um, do – do people – - Drifting through the safari.
- "Drifting through the safari." Um... oh, man. When you said the guy at
the aquarium or whatever, I was like, he's like,
"Here's a water tiger." I know – I absolutely consciously thought, "I cannot say 'the zoo.'" I need to stop talking about... desert-based animals. And also a whale. So, does anybody
outside of, like, family... I guess friends, but are there
many people in your real life who know what you do now? Not many. I mean, it's just close friends. I think that some people recently found out at my old job, but that was very recent. It was like right before I came here. - Oh, really?
- How did you find out that they found out? Um, they – we had a – or I had a group text with a few of my old coworkers. I haven't talked to them in a long time.
And then the other day, they, like, just out of the blue
messaged me and were like, "Oh, just saw your stuff. - Great job." And I was like...
- [JORDAN] Oh, wow. I was like, "I have questions.
I wanna know." Yeah. I wanna know where... how that happened, because it's been... - (à la "One Week") ♪ It's been. ♪
- It's been... two years. Since you looked at me. Sorry. Sometimes, whenever
someone says "it's been," we just sing the song "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies. The, ♪ it's been one week since
you looked at me ♪ All right, it's fine. - ♪ You found out what I do. ♪
- This is not a very accessible podcast. ♪ I no longer work at a call center. ♪ ♪ It's been one week
since you called me up. ♪ ♪ Do you agree, strong agree,
disagree, or not? ♪ Wanna look at some silly shit? Yeah. Yeah, I do. I'd like to get a little
nasty with it, actually. We were talking about etiquette content. - [CHAD CHAD] Oh, yeah.
- And, um... So, for those who don't know, uh, etiquette is, like, how you be high-class. - Polite.
- [JARVIS] Polite. And high-class. - In kind of a traditional sense.
- Yeah. - [JARVIS] Very traditional sense.
- Meal etiquette, putting your forks in the right place. - Like, remember Black.White?
- Oh my god, dude. - Remember the etiquette class?
- OH MY GOD, DUDE. - Yeah.
- Like, "Hey, what could a Black kid do that's the opposite of
what he'd normally do? - Being nice."
-"Etiquette class." "The white people? They're
gonna make a rap song." - That's right.
- "And the Black people are gonna be nice." "The white people are
gonna go to soul poetry." Right, yeah. They send –
in Black.White, the TV show, - the two families swap races.
- Yeah. - And –
- [JORDAN] That's standard. Standard fare. And they're like, "What do Black people do? They do poetry and they talk about the Black struggle," so they have them go to, like, museums and they have them go to
poetry class and shit. And they're like,
"What do white people do?" Uh, they send the
16-year-old to etiquette class. Which feels racist. - And is.
- And he is maybe just... He's just disinterested. - Yeah.
- He's not, like – He's not anything you
could classify as having, like – - He's not impolite.
- But then the boys from etiquette class - call him the N-word.
- Yeah! They're so bad. - Oh my god.
- Oh my god, dude. But, I mean, I guess because of that, yeah, we're kinda emphasizing - etiquette is arbitrary, right?
- Yeah. It's not like being empathetic
or kind or insightful. It is just "don't have the wrong vibes. Do the right thing. Be trad." - Yeah. So, we've – Trad Trad.
- Trad Trad. - Hang on.
- I gotta get going. We just share the same brains.
We talk too much. - One of us is gonna have to change.
- If you're watching this, Chad Chad has a great video
on etiquette content that you can go and watch
on Chad Chad's channel. Um, if you haven't heard or seen
Chad Chad's content, it is... You are one of my favorite
creators on YouTube. - Aw, thank you. Shucks.
- Yeah. You really are. You really are. - Thanks.
- Oh, yeah. Me as well. And you can just keep
not saying anything. - Yeah.
- Same. - I love your shit, man.
- It's his programming. - He's still...
- I fuckin' love... gameplay. There's, like, sparks
coming out of your ears. There's no gameplay.
She doesn't play games. Oh. But, like, "playing the game,"
you know? Pick-up style. And yeah, I guess while we're
here on compliment corner, which is what we did with Link, yeah, you're one of my
favorite creators on YouTube. You're one of my dearest
friends. Uh, fuck you. - And, um...
- What the hell? And I'm so proud of you and your growth and sort of coming into
this wacky job that we do and, um, you're doing great,
and I'm super proud of you. - Thanks! Stop.
- [JARVIS] Yeah. - All right.
- It's too nice. I am very sincerely a big Chad enjoyer. Gone big Chad mode, the nation, the work. - Big Chad mode.
- Big Chad nation. - The nation of Chad, in Africa.
- Yeah. Uh, but also, I think, um... We're, I think, newer friends. (French accent) Oh-hon-hon, sorry,
it is me. I am from Chad in Africa. (French accent) Is this a
French one? It could be. It could be. (normal voice) Sorry;
you were saying you're new friends. Or is it a Catholic one?
Sometimes they are Catholic. I'm so sorry I did this. - You just disrupted everything.
- I know. No, that's our lives, right? We go a little back
and forth. We're crazy. I'm random as fuck, basically. - [CHAD CHAD] So random.
- Uh, but it's nice to – It's nice to have, uh – We've known each other a little while, but we've not spent much time in person, and I feel like we are friends now,
like friendy-wendies. - Friendy-wendies.
- I now declare you friends. - Now declare us friends.
- In the state of Florida exclusively. The Florida Boxing Commission has declared - that you are now friends, legally.
- Jacob is no longer with us. - He is in Tampa.
- Yeah. OK, let's start with "elegant ladies
never eat sandwiches like this," which, can we just talk about
before we click? Can we take a guess? - If you've seen this one?
- I haven't seen this one, but I know exactly what the format is. - Mmhmm. OK.
- Ahh. So, you – OK, so we'll just
try to do a cold read here, and then you can – You can tell us how we match up. - I'll rate, yeah.
- Yeah. OK, so the funny joke is that "never eat sandwiches like this,"
and it's like a meatball sub, and that's like, "No lady can eat that." But I think she's gonna talk about, um, specifically how you go into the sandwich. I, maybe – hmm. Do you not get the
whole thing in your hand? You maybe chop it up into more...? - Yeah, use a fork and knife?
- Into politer single-bite slices? Or she deconstructs it like a psychopath. - Oh, dear.
- Like torturing a bug. Also, why does that pretzel feel like an - uncanny-valley size?
- I was gonna talk about the pretzel, because it's not a regular pretzel, but it's not a jumbo pretzel. - What's the deal?
- There should be more. - What's the point?
- Yeah, it's like a – It looks like an individually-wrapped regular pretzel. And there's so much sandwich. It's like the, uh – that's like Mama Bear. It's like the middle one. Yeah, it's a very strange pretzel. All right. Why'd she
have to word it like that? OK. So the first version,
for the audio listeners, is "Shove the whole thing in." Which, if you'll notice, she's
not even shoving the whole thing. - It's just a normal bite.
- She's even – - She's a prude.
- She's even being elegant - in the way she describes the bad way.
- Yeah. "Don't shove the whole thing in like this." Takes a normal... A regular human bite
with her little finger raised. - Look at that. Come on.
- Her finger's even raised. No, no, no. "Play with their food"?
No, you can't take the – - Yeah.
- OK. You can't take the bacon
off your sandwich, especially if you're a vegetarian. - Yeah, do not.
- Yeah, that's unladylike. Don't mess with the structure
of the sandwich in any way. - That includes making the sandwich itself.
- You're not allowed to make sandwiches. You're allowed to eat each
ingredient independently. "Uh-uh!" I like her little finger-waggle. - What?
- Oh. I have seen this one. You're... "Pile food inside"? So she's putting – So, it's like if you have
a barbecue sandwich - and coleslaw on the side,
- Uh-huh? - Oh, that sounds delicious.
- you're not supposed to – it does. But you're not supposed to, like, put the coleslaw on top as you're supposed to. - Is that... common behavior?
- Like, if there was – I tend to just bite... fork. - I feel like people do that.
- Yeah. But what about sandwiches where you're expressly
supposed to dip it in something? Yeah, like a sauce? - Yeah.
- You have to leave. You have to get out as quickly as – What about, like, we
just went to Waffle House. - I'm putting syrup on my waffles.
- Yeah. - I'm supposed to stop?
- Stop piling food on top. Stop putting food on top of your food. - Nope.
- Yeah, nope. In fact, - No plate.
- By that logic, - sandwiches should not be allowed.
- Don't salt your things. Sandwiches, by definition,
are food on top of food. Eating bread. Oh, here's what you do.
SHE DOES USE A KNIFE! Hold on. No, she's gonna
pick it up after she cuts it. "Cut a small" – dude, the fact
that she threw the word "graciously" in here makes my skin crawl. I'm reading this comment. Um, "Cut a small piece off - and graciously bite."
- Mmhmm. She cut because she did not graciously cut. Look how bad that cut is. - That is a very non-gracious cut.
- She whiffed, dude. - She needs a steak knife.
- Yeah, she tried to cut it with a butter knife, and it's clearly a - strong piece of bread.
- She's trying to cut through - a loaf of sourdough.
- Yeah. It's huge. Oh, she didn't even eat the
whole bite that she cut off. - Right. That would be unladylike.
- It needs to be smaller. - You have to eat very slowly.
- Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. It's like the way to be ladylike
is to take five hours - to eat your sub from Jersey Mike's.
- Yeah. Don't open it and look at the
ingredients or move it around. Leave the coleslaw on the
plate. Do not eat that today. Yeah, I feel like this... Like, I don't understand why
the elegant lady tips are for, like, the Sandwich Shack or whatever,
wherever she got this sandwich. The putting coleslaw, that... I can't believe – she could
have wrapped this up with "Don't eat the coleslaw by itself. Do put it on there," and I would have read
that as much etiquette-y. - I'd have been like, "Oh, it's a process."
- It's all just arbitrary, yeah. What if the video ended with her
like, "It all ends up in the toilet"? - Yeah.
- And then it just hard cuts. - "Remember that."
- So, that's – the, um – One of the things that I encountered is you're not allowed to say "toilet" - in these, in this kinda thing.
- [JARVIS] Do you say "washroom"? - [JARVIS] Or "restroom"?
- No, you don't say it at all. If you need to go to the – This is, like, in the intro of my video. But if you need to use the bathroom, the only acceptable way to announce that is to say, "Excuse me one moment." And you're not allowed to say "restroom." You're not allowed to, like, say
"restroom" or "bathroom" or "wash" – You're not allowed to... They're like, "You don't need
to say what you're doing." - That's what an assassin does before –
- Yeah. Opens the top of the toilet. OK, literally, yes,
that was my stance on it. - But one lady was like –
- "Excusez-moi, I must poo-poo-poo." "Because you're not a child,"
that's what she said. "You don't need to announce it,
because you're not a child." "Not everybody poops, actually." - You have to be mysterious.
- "Only children poop." - [JORDAN] "You little loser."
- "Everybody grows out of that." - "Oh my god, you poop?"
- "I stopped doing that." - "You little freak."
- In eighth grade." - "It's disgusting."
- "Gross." Only children give information about
what they're about to do. "Excuse me." I would be so worried. - "Excuse me. Excuse me one moment."
- "Excusez-moi." "Where did Jordan go?"
And then it's like JFK in the... - Driving through the fucking –
- It's a laser pointer in the (inaudible). - Bouncing around.
- And then he's back; he's taking off gloves. "Where did you go?" Yeah, I come back and my
fingerprints have been removed. - Like, "Ow, ow, ow!"
- [CHAD CHAD] "Owie!" - "Ow! It stings!" I'm holding a suitcase.
- "Oh, no, just the sandwich is hot." "Why do you have four passports?" - "Could you pass me one of my passports?"
- "Oh, yeah." "This one's for Australia." Are these typically by
the same set of people? Is there a lot of
different creators, or...? I only saw, like, four main ones, I think, and then everybody else was, like, in between all the other ones. Well, not everybody can be elegant. Not everyone. It's not for everybody. - Have you improved yourself?
- Not everyone has the time. - You get hungry.
- Have you harnessed the powers from these? - Um, yeah.
- [JARVIS] Oh. At the end of my video, I, uh, I did. - We'll have to watch the video.
- You should tear a sandwich apart. - Do one where you...
- I ravaged a sandwich. "I'M GOING TO THE TOILET!"
and then throw it in the toilet. One piece at a time,
coleslaw in your mouth. You spit coleslaw onto the sandwich. - Into the toilet.
- Like a mama bird, just like... Royalty-free metal
playing in the background. (imitating metal riff) Instead of, like, Kevin MacLeod No. 1. - "Don't announce you're going" – OH!
- Oh, see? - "Simply excuse yourself."
- That sounds elegant as fuck. The laugh? - Oh, that was the whole thing.
- Hated it. That was the – - That was the whole thing. So...
- Come on. - Give us more.
- She looks like Mrs. Incredible. - "Basic lady etiquette tips."
- She's actually... She's actually pretty cool. I actually really like her a lot. - I don't –
- OK, when does this apply? - Like, very often? To anyone?
- When you're getting on – "City scooter etiquette." Or,
like, you're in Italy or something. When you're in Italy on your... - Her name is Sofia Marbella.
- How would you describe this one to an audio-based listener? Um, there is... There's a man in what
looks like swimming trunks sitting on a motorcycle, - and she's mounting –
- AKA a city scooter. in the process of mounting
the scooter behind him. - In a very cavalier way.
- Yes. I think she's meant to be doing the wrong version of
how to get onto this bike. - She's getting onto it like a cowpoke.
- She's gotta levitate onto it like Peach. Yeah. She has to use an umbrella - and then float down to it.
- Right, just float, yeah. "The true proper etiquette is to Up+B." Yeah. - "Pass ledge and onto bike."
- You've gotta do a float cancel onto the city scooter. Sorry; that's a Super
Smash Bros. reference. Oh, I've never heard of that. - Eh, joke, joke, joke, joke.
- Yeah. - Um...
- What is she – what the – ? - What?!
- Oh, no! Oh, that's odd. - That's just shamey.
- There's no way – OK. I didn't see this one. - This is so...
- Oh my god. - Helpful.
- Pointed. Yeah, this is so pointed. This reminds me of, um, that account that's like - "people of Walmart" or something?
- Yeah, you're right. It does have that. This just, like, - taken discreetly behind somebody.
- Shaming people, yeah. Cut to a photo of - two innocent bystanders
- Yeah. just riding a motorbike, and I don't know; it is because her lower back is visible? - Yeah.
- These are strangers. Or, better yet, these are just – maybe they
just found it online. It's really low-res. - Yeah.
- It's a weirdly low-res photo. And then she goes, "Uh-uh-uh. "No, no, no." - "Don't live your life your way."
- "I would never." - "I would never do such a thing."
- "Couldn't be me." - ...Seen this.
- Wait, what's this one? - So, we got a boy this time.
- So, this is gentleman etiquette. Oh, this is for the boys! - This is for the boys.
- For the fellas. Finally a little bit of representation, eh? - Yeah, finally.
- These damn broads giving us - a little time on the mic.
- Ladies aren't the only ones who get to be elegant. We have "Good manners
when dining with your date, #goodmanners #dating #manners..." - Yup. You got it, dude.
- "#datingtips." [TIKTOKKER] When walking
your date to your seats, never sit across from her from the table. Don't let each of you just
casually walk to your table, either. - [CHAD CHAD] Oh my god.
- [TIKTOKKER] When walking to your table, lead her to where she's gonna sit,
and then casually sit next to her. - Mm...
- I wanna chaotically sit next to her. - Yeah. "Casually sit..."
- Just like, (aggressive grunt). - "Look at me."
- I think that – - "I'm crazy."
- I feel like that... I feel like it's respectful to
sit across from your date. I don't think – I would ra – it's easier. It's easier to have a conversation. - Yeah, your neck.
- Unless specified, if I was like, "Hey, can you sit next to me," you know? "I would rather sit
beside you," or something. - Like if it's communicated.
- Yeah, if it's communicated. But I think that this is like, "That way it's easier
to make moves on her." - You don't have to reach across.
- Oh, yeah. 'Cause now you can do one of these.
You can put your hand on her thigh and you can do X, Y, and Z, - what else you ever do on dates.
- You can establish kino, one of the essential stages
in The Game pickup strategy. - That's a real thing and a real term.
- Demonstrating value is another one. And I can't remember
the others, 'cause I only - heard this on a podcast.
- "Step one." Cut a hole in a box. Step two:
put your junk in that box. And good manners: Let her open the box. [TIKTOKKER] Always be a
gentleman and pour her drink - before pouring your own.
- "Save her first." What the fuck? - I think it said "serve."
- "Serve." "Save her first." - What's in that water?
- Attach your oxygen mask - before assisting others.
- "Stop." - "Save her first."
- Yeah, it's fizzing. "Get it away." When you excuse yourself
to go kill someone, "Save her first." [TIKTOKKER] ...Napkin on the table, make
sure you unravel it and put it on her lap – - No.
- She'd be like... - Yeah, that's insane.
- You lost me there. This is so much, like, setting her up. It's like, "Place her like
a RealDoll. Set her down. - Place a cloth across her."
- She can't do anything for herself. "Pick up the food by hand
and shove it into her mouth." - "Cut her sandwich into tiny pieces."
- Like one of those dolls you have to feed with a bottle. Where it disappears. This is etiquette to learn
how to take care of a kid. - Mmhmm.
- [TIKTOKKER] ...For her. Do this for her before
doing your own napkin. Always put food on her plate
before putting any food on yours. [JARVIS] She's not a child. OK. I'm sorry. Putting food – why
isn't it coming on plates? - Why is the food coming...?
- Take the, uh... truffle fries and put them onto your date's plate. - She's reaching, and you grab her wrist.
- Yeah. "No." - "The rules."
- "This are not good... - Those hands of yours aren't good here."
- "Cut that out." - "Throw her hands away."
- "Hey, stop it!" - "Hey, quit it."
- "I love you! Stop it." - No, this is so infantilizing.
- It is. The – Especially the napkin. Just, like, reaching over,
'cause it's very close to, like... Not close, but like dressing someone, like putting a jacket on a kid
or putting a jacket on someone, - helping someone tie their shoes.
- Exactly, yeah. It's like what my mom would
do for me when I was a baby. - [CHAD CHAD] Yeah.
- Can I ask... the, the... for a little consensus here? You go to a casual bar like this, date or just hanging with people. You get food. Full restaurant. You putting
a napkin on your lap? - No.
- Seems crazy to me. - Yeah.
- I need my napkin for my damn face. Well, yeah. If you're using it
on your face, I feel like it's just - easier to have up here.
- That's the more needed area. I don't think that you usually get, like, a cloth napkin at a restaurant like this. - At, like, an outside?
- Yeah. Dude, it's like a bench
outside a bodega. Yeah. This is like a Dave & Buster's. Yeah. This is a Buca di Beppo. Can we go back and watch her
reaction as he's putting the napkin? 'Cause I know she's
part of this, but I just... I do like the part where, you know, he looks into the camera right before he puts the cloth on her. [TIKTOKKER] Sit next to her. Sorry. Why... Why is the mix on the ding - on all of these so messed up?
- Also, the buzzer - is so, like, abrupt.
- Loud? Yeah. (all imitating the ding and buzzer) It legitimately, like, hurts. - Yeah. The first one made me flinch.
- Yeah, it does. Chimes in my ears. [TIKTOKKER] And pour her
drink before pouring your own. If there's a napkin on the
table, make sure you unravel – - He's like, "This is a napkin."
- Ugh, weird. He goes, "This..." "I'm gonna tuck you in now." - Yeah. "Nighty-night!"
- "Bedtime!" [TIKTOKKER] And put it on her lap for her. - You see her face?!
- She... - "The fuck are you doing, man?"
- "What do you think I am? Some kinda kid?" She looks confused and annoyed, - and she's in on it.
- What is she supposed to do? 'Cause she didn't say anything. But are you supposed to,
like, thank him for putting the...? - She doesn't if she's an object.
- Is it rude to say thank you? - We shouldn't do that?
- Elegant ladies don't do that. - She's still learning to talk.
- [TIKTOKKER] your own napkin. Always put food on her
plate before putting any – What food are they eating? That is... - What is that?
- [JORDAN] Plantain chips? [JARVIS] They look like big chips. - [JARVIS] You don't have to put that...
- [CHAD CHAD] It's nachos. It looks like you wouldn't use a knife and
fork with it, but I don't know what it is. He's having to use them like
chopsticks and, like, catch them. - I truly can't tell what that is.
- I don't know what it is. They picked – here's the thing. Here's what's obvious:
They picked a terrible food - to demonstrate this with.
- Yeah. "Serve her first. One big chip." - "Madam."
- Yeah, he's got the, like – He's got the loaded nachos. He's trying to, like,
break out the jalapeños and all the shredded cheese that's melted. "Please don't put any of
the ingredients on the nacho. - That is against the rules."
- Oh, don't put food on food. - Don't pile food on food.
- Don't put food on food. [TIKTOKKER] When your
date tells you what she wants – This is my favorite part. So, he serves her. And then he goes... "And for me, a single chip." - "That's all I'll have."
- [TIKTOKKER] ...and order for her. - Wait, wait, wait.
- "Order for her"? Did – I think it... Did he say "When she" – ? He said that when she
tells you what she wants, - tell the waiter.
- [TT] When your date tells you what she wants, take the
initiative and order for her. Oh. The phrasing, the
emphasis is weird on that. So... I think he just means... It does sound very weird, but I think he means if you're conversing, you're talking about it, and she's like,
"Oh, I think I'm gonna get this," and then the waiter is closer to you
and you're already talking, just go ahead and do it. But the... I don't wanna give him
that much understanding. I like the idea that you're like, "I'll
have the bur –" "She'll have the burger." She was gonna say, like, bourbon.
She just wanted a whiskey. She's like, "Oh, bourbon."
"Also the bourbon." - "The bourbon as well."
- "The burg and the bourbon." "I'll take the burg-en." "And then for the meal, I think I'll have the lasaaaagna."
"Uh, she'll have the lasagna." "She'll have the lasagna, uh, flipped. She'll have it upside-down, no sauce?" It's like Elon Musk trying to get credit for doing things that already exist. - Oh, yeah.
- Where he's like, "Um, uh, no, lasagna, but it's, uh,
the shape of a Doge." - "How about a tweet, but it's longer?"
- Yeah. "But it's annoying. You have
to click and see the rest of it." I want that. Wait, you were saying
you're like a big Elon supporter. [CHAD CHAD] Oh, I did say that. - I was just talking about that.
- Yeah. - In detail.
- Elaborate, please. - Yeah.
- I already have. - It was like 30 minutes.
- You couldn't stop talking about it. - It was upsetting.
- I know. I will. You kept pointing at the Doge,
like, "Do you guys remember?" "From the meme, guys. The coin!" Um, just kidding. It was a joke. I wonder what the ratio is between... 'Cause I almost feel like, generally, and you'll be the authority on this, "etiquette," I think is quite gender-coded. - Mmhmm.
- That's quite like trad boarding school uh, yeah, like Catholic - girls' school etiquette.
- Yeah. Whereas... I don't know, chivalry or something is like
the trad masc equivalent. - [CHAD CHAD] Yeah.
- It's interesting to call... putting a... I wouldn't think of doing things for other people's
eating situation as etiquette, 'cause isn't it what you do? - Like which forks you use or whatever?
- [CHAD CHAD] Yeah. So, like, which forks
you get for someone else. It's like if he... was the one, uh, taking the knife and the fork
and doing a small... cutting a small piece of
the sandwich, and then placing it graciously in her mouth. Graciously stuffing it
all at once or whatever. Yeah, I wanna see that. - "How to call a waiter elegantly."
- "Call a waiter..." - OK, you're not allowed to do...
- OK, don't snap... - That's just mean.
- That's just rude. OK, so the first example was her - "come hither."
- She... How is that ever gonna be effective? Yeah, I haven't done that in so long. It hurts. - It hurts, yeah.
- It's not natural. Whoa, I just made
my finger crack. Yeah. "Hey, right now." Does anyone wanna guess
what the other bad ones are? I want, um, this one. - This one, and then this one.
- Oh, that. - Ohhh.
- "Madonn'!" - "Come on!"
- Or maybe this. Oh, what about, uh – wait, no, not that. - No.
- That's a threat. Yeah, just raising a fist. - You're just like...
- Yeah. What about this? "Me hungry." Like, rubbing your tummy. (fake-crying) - Like a sim?
- Banging your knife and fork on the table. - Oh, there it is.
- Oh, there it is. Waving, getting angry. - Don't do that.
- What? So, you have to raise your
hand like a frat dude in class. With two fingers? Is that...? You gotta shoot the sky. Like a race. Like a race is starting. Isn't putting up two
fingers the wrong way what gets Michael Fassbender
killed in Inglourious Basterds? - Yes.
- Is that what she's doing? "Yeah, two." - She's gonna get shot in the balls.
- I like the combination of – It feels like, uh... It feels like it's a code for something. She puts this up and then she nods. - And you know.
- [JORDAN] "Two." You know. It's like, yeah, that'll work, because it's basically the same as
one of the things you said not to do, which is raising your hand. Well, the last one, that is essentially
the same thing that she's doing here, - the last one she did.
- Yeah. It was just she was just
holding up all her fingers. Yeah, exactly. And she shook it around. Yeah. Not that one. No, not that one. - There.
- There, yeah. That's just being shy. - That's...
- Yeah, she's like, "You're not owning it enough."
You've gotta be like... You must salute. "Garçon." "I'll take the egg." - "A single egg and loaded nachos."
- "Shelled." - Have you guys seen –
- "I'll have an omelet, shelled." Have you guys seen the TikTok trend where you, um, show how you ask for the check? - [CHAD CHAD] At the restaurant?
- No. With rizz, or etiquette? With... no. I don't know how to explain
this to you. It's just like people, they're not actually asking
for the check, but they – - very dramatic version,
- [JARVIS] Ohhh. and show how they would
ask for the check. It's like who does it best. - Is it comedy, or...?
- [CC] It's like a performance. - [CHAD CHAD] Yeah, it's comedy.
- Oh, that's funny. 'Cause there could be a
comedic avenue for this, but they're all so damn sincere. Did you find any, like,
funny, silly etiquette? Like, "Eat your fork"? - That'd be funny, right?
- Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's... It's fucking funny. This one seems to be
taking place at a movie theater. - This is from Sofia, our Italian queen.
- Oh, she's back. This is cinema etiquette. - Cinema etiquette.
- "Avoid..." "Part 1"?! - Um...
- Why's this gotta be sped up? "Avoid going through your..." - "And don't..."
- OK – - Oh. OK?
- Face them? Wait, what does it say?
Did it say "especially ladies"? - (Jarvis sighs)
- What did it say? So, there's a woman –
again, for the audio listeners, there is a woman shuffling,
as we all have to, past other theater movie watchers. But shuffling facing the screen, like, just being, I don't know, grabbable? What's their point? - I don't understand.
- It's rude to face away from them? - Then they have to look at your back.
- Yeah. The correct way is to make eye contact
with everyone as you walk by. "I'm so sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry." Hold their hand while you do it. - "Can you help me?"
- It's not a place that I feel like you need to be that prim and proper. - It's, like, a grungy movie theater.
- There's, like, a bunch of them where – Like I told you,
they don't like yoga pants. It's just like a – There's even one where it's like,
"Don't wear yoga pants in your own home." - Or "Don't eat food while you watch TV."
- You did tell me about that. Because it's like a lifestyle, like a constant thing. - It's not something that turns off.
- You gotta be in it. Right. That's the difference. Etiquette classes are for dining - or, like, for special events,
- [JARVIS] Right. but then these are just like, "You need to be doing this for the rest of your life,
forever, and no breaks. - This is just what you do everywhere."
- [JARVIS] That's crazy. - What a exhausting way to live.
- Yeah, literally. Yeah, when you were telling me about not being able to wear sweatpants and eat food at home – Yeah, it was just like, "Ladies, don't wear sweatpants when
you're at home, and don't..." Oh, it's also, "Ladies, don't slouch when you're at home," like, on the couch. So you need to keep your back straight and, like, maintain your posture. - Cock facing the world.
- Yes. Hard face. - Yeah, do a green line test.
- Green line. OK, well, um... "This used to be me."
- Oh, yeah. - You've seen this one.
- I've seen similar. - Hang on. "This used to be me."
- Interesting. - "I hopped out of rooms..."
- "I had an accident. I fell." That was, like, - also the fakest-looking accident ever.
- Oh, dude. That's a very HD CCTV camera. It was just like a – she just... Like, this is like bad jumping form. Why was she hopping out of the place? Yeah, why were you hopping out of the – Bringing the drink. "I was at my worst," going back
and forth of her just hopping out. - "I was at my worst."
- "I was doing hurdles." - "I was airborne."
- "That was awful." When you get so sloshed that
you just can't help but run track. Yeah, who took the photo - of her in front of the toilet?
- And then put... yeah. Black and white filter on it. Or is this security footage
of the bathroom? Why did that look like a cut from – That looked like something
from a fucking reality show. It does look like a reality show. - That looks – this must be one.
- Is this someone from a reality show? - Dude, look at this.
- I think that is a reality TV shot. Oh. - Oh! OH!
- "I would never jump again." - You recognize her?
- This is the woman I told you about. Who has the channel. She has a channel that is – The entire thing is about how to, like, - get a high-class man.
- Oh! How to be a lady so you can catch a man. Um, "Where To Meet High-Value Men." - "Signs He's A Low-Value Man. (Get Out!)"
- "Low-Value Man. (Get Out!)" Yeah. "10 Things That
Tell You're Old Money." - Get out.
- Um... - "What To Gift A High-Value Man?"
- "What do you get a millionaire?" That's a question I just... - That's a problem I have all the time.
- Whoa, what an interesting, like, re-coding of a very, you know, kind of pretty classic "12 Rules for Life," - alpha, sigma channel.
- Yeah, literally. But, like... - Wait, I recognize her as well.
- I sent... You might recognize this because three years ago I sent this to you
and Elizabeth and was like, "Should we talk about this?" - Oh, yeah!
- Yeah. - Um...
- Big-time throwback. - "Look Effortlessly Expensive."
- And a Jordan Peterson video comes up, - of course, in a heartbeat.
- Of course. Have you ever felt obliged, not necessarily for the exact
etiquette rules described, 'cause these are deranged, but have you ever felt
an obligation to be more... - ladylike or elegant?
- Yeah. I... I do make a couple comments
about that in my video, where it's, um... I don't know if you've heard
people complain about this before, but, um, even when you're a kid, how you sit is a big thing
of, like, getting – Jordan could take a few... - take a few notes.
- I move the way I'm sitting a lot, - and people like to put timestamps.
- Oh, yeah. No, um, I just mean in a ladylike fashion. So, it's like you need to... Like, if you sit with your legs
just slightly like this, it's like... Oh, I see. You have to be - kinda demure and chaste.
- Yeah. From – yeah. And it's just a really accepted criticism, I think, of young girls. And, um, that's one of
the things that I mentioned I've had experience with, where it's like, - "Stop. You're doing that bad," you know?
- You're objectively wrong. And you're just, like,
sitting – also like this, with one leg kind of up here on a chair, - that's not ladylike.
- I didn't know. What a physically
uncomfortable way of living. - Yeah.
- Yeah, like this is just like... The only acceptable way is just legs out in front of you, closed. And it's like any... any variation from that is... is bad. It does seem like a point system, almost. Where it's like, "You can do it; you'll just be 15% less. Sorry. You just won't be
doing you well enough." - Yeah.
- B-minus. You're just not being
as good as everyone else. You've missed. You're actually bad. Low-grade. Do you feel cleansed of that
a little bit now, though? Yeah. I... Yes, definitely. I mean, there's other examples, just like talking loudly is – and I think that... I have a personal theory that that causes a lot of
anxiety in people, just like when, growing up a girl, you... it's harder to make jokes, - I feel like, and be the funny one.
- Ahhh. - I think it's harder,
- Right. because you have to, like, draw more attention to yourself, and that's something that,
at least in my experience, was looked down on or not encouraged, where it's like, "Shhh." Just like the side, like,
"Shh, you need to tone it down," or "Shh, that's not" – or "You're behaving in a way that's drawing
too much attention, and you need to..." you know. Or just saying something, and you get to the point where
you start to say those things quietly, and then that's when a dude says the same thing
beside you loudly, and the whole room breaks out
in laughter. So, I think that... - You're a ghostwriter.
- Yeah. I think that the two kinda go hand in hand. Um... How did you, like, overcome some of those pressures? Especially if you had people in your life
that were telling you to pipe down? I – (sighs) I don't know. I think I became more just reserved in those kind of circles. Mm. So you adjusted, like, locally, in that situation,
but you were like, "I'm gonna keep being
myself outside of this." Eventually. I mean, obviously
it's not as easy as just, like, deciding on that. But I think it's better now, definitely, and YouTube has helped. When you say something and
people laugh, you're like, "Oh." - "Cool."
- "OK, so I'm not just stupid." "That's not a stupid thing. Sometimes
I say things that aren't stupid." Right. I definitely know what you mean. 'Cause I... It's weird to, like, have
people think you're funny. Like, you try. You want to make people laugh.
But when it actually happens, it's like, - "Oh, so I'm not... OK, cool."
- [CHAD CHAD] Yeah. - "That's weird."
- [JARVIS] Yeah. "OK. All right." It's interesting only getting
that feedback over text, though, - a lot of the time.
- Yeah. I don't necessarily think X video is bad, or if Y joke didn't land, but sometimes is... Well, no, I don't think I'm that funny. I wouldn't laugh out loud - watching my videos.
- [CHAD CHAD] No, yeah. - But also –
- I do laugh out loud watching your videos, though, sometimes, so... - No, but –
- Fuck out of here. The text thing is – sorry to interrupt you. - No, please.
- But the text thing is so interesting, because it takes a lot for
someone to leave a text comment. But in real life, like, there are so many people who will enjoy your stuff silently, and it brings so much value to their life, and it makes them laugh and blah-blah. But they don't feel like
they need to say it to you, because they don't know you, and it's weird to leave a comment. That's like the most normal... Like, the people who leave comments, we appreciate you when they're positive. But it's the less-trodden path. It's the path less taken. Rather than, like, casually consuming, which is
what I do most of the time. Were you, at any point, or amongst certain groups, the funny one? Or the charismatic one,
or anything in that kinda...? I don't think so. I don't think so, ever. No.
No one's ever liked me. - I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- Let's get into that. Yeah. No one likes me.
They say I smell bad, - and my breath, and...
- Yeah. Well, that's true,
but were you funny, though? Yeah. Were you cracking people up? I don't really remember. I think I had too many
things working against me. Like, I was homeschooled. Mmhmm. There was no audience. Yeah. I'm just, like, talking to my mom. - My mom told me I was funny, so...
- Oh! Wait, that's awesome. - That's cute.
- That's not a joke. That's awesome. - [CHAD CHAD] Oh.
- You were the class clown? I was the class clown, yeah.
Not to brag, but... No, I feel like that type
of validation is cool. I've never had any of
that sort of validation - from any sort of parental anything.
- I don't know. She was – [JORDAN] Is she funny? Yes. My mom is very, um... I feel like she could've
been an actor. She's very... It just comes very naturally to her. One time I had her help me with a sketch, and I needed her to play
someone who was yelling at me and acting like she didn't know me. And she just, like, first take, was immediately, I didn't need to do anything else. Just immediately was yelling.
And I was like, "OK!" - and I was scared.
- "You're too good." Yeah. "I still live here.
I'm gonna come back." "No, I'm not really the person. We're doing acting." Um, well, I think this is a great place to end this episode of Sad Boyz. But we are going to continue, um, with another full hour of bonus content on Patreon.com/SadBoyz, where I wanna watch
"Where To Meet High-Value Men." - "(Get Out!)"
- Or one of these videos. I wanna learn more about this lady. I wanna get your opinion. I've been
meaning to show you this person - for a long time.
- OK. Um, Patreon.com/SadBoyz. Thank you so much,
Chad Chad, for joining us. - Thank you for having me.
- Is there anything you want to tell the people? Uh, go watch my video
on the etiquette stuff. That should be posted by now. And if it's not, it's not my fault. If not, get in contact. Reach out. - [CHAD CHAD] Reach out.
- "Where is the video?!" Follow me on stuff and yell at me.
Try and figure out what happened. - [JARVIS] "Call me on the phone!"
- Call the police. "Threaten me with violence!" - "Strong agree?"
- Throw me off a bridge. "Throw me off a bridge.
Throw me off the fridge." Um, we end every episode of Sad Boyz with a particular phrase: - [JARVIS & JORDAN] We love you.
- And we're sorry. - Boom!
- Wikitube posted an article where they say that my
real name is Chelsea, that I was a software developer
before I did YouTube. It affected my real life. - ...your name.
- Mmhmm. I don't even know if I'm pronouncing
it right, 'cause I've only seen it written. - You go by (bleep).
- Mmhmm. - But it's like (bleep).
- Yeah. - Is that how you say it?
- Mmhmm. (outro music)
