>>> 25 YEARS AGO,
STEVEN SPIELBERG OPENED THE DOORS TO "JURASSIC PARK."
AND INSIDE THOSE DOORS -- SPOILER ALERT -- WERE DINOSUARS.
NOW, AS PART OF THE 25th ANNIVERSARY RERELEASE, YOU CAN
WATCH THE 1992 SCREEN TESTS. >> HUGH GRANT FOR
DR. ALLEN GRANT. >> YES, UM, HATE TO BE A BOTHER,
BUT, UM -- IF YOU LOOK BEHIND YOU, THERE'S
A -- WELL, THERE'S A BOLT OF A T-REX.
AND I THOUGHT PERHAPS WE SHOULD MOVE FASTER?
TO ESCAPE ITS -- RATHER LARGE TEETH.
>> ALAN ALDA FOR MULDOON. >> CLEVER GIRL.
WHEN THAT DINOSAUR COMES OUT AND ATTACKS ME?
OH, YOU GUYS, THAT IS GREAT. THAT IS JUST TERRIFIC.
AND HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SHOOT THE DINOSAUR?
IS IT GONNA BE FORCED PERSPECTIVE?
YOU KNOW, THAT'S HOW WE SHOT JAMIE FARR ON "MASH."
YEAH, NO, HE'S ONLY ABOUT TWO FEET TALL.
>> ELLEN DeGENERES FOR DR. SATTLER.
>> ALL RIGHT, WOW! THAT'S A GIGANTIC PILE OF DINO
POOP. I'VE HAD STOOLS ON STAGE BEFORE,
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I'M JUST KIDDING.
I'M '90s ELLEN. >> SAY, I'M TELLIN' Y'ALL, TRUST
ME. SPEND YOUR MONEY.
ALL RIGHT? IRS CAN'T TAKE IT IF IT'S
ALREADY SPENT. CAN'T TAKE SOMETHING ALREADY
GONE. THAT'S A TAX LOOPHOLE FOR YOUR,
BROTHER. >> WESLEY, COULD WE GET THE
LINE? >> OH, YEAH.
BINGO, DINO DNA. NOW IF YOU WANT MY ACCOUNT'S
NUMBER, I GOT YOU. IT'S 1-900 --
>> ROSEANNE BARR FOR JOHN HAMMOND.
>> WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK. DAN!
>> ADAM SANDLER FOR MULDOON. [ MUMBLING ]
TURKEY-LURKEY DOO AND A TURKEY-LURKEY DEE.
I LIKE THE T-REX, DOES T-REX LIKE ME?
AH, SHUT UP! >> WHOOPI GOLDBERG AS
DR. STATTLER. >> WELL, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.
'CAUSE THE LAST THING I NEED RIGHT NOW IS DINOSAURS.
AND THEN I'LL GET THE DINOSAUR LOOK LIKE --
>> PEE-WEE HERMAN -- >> AHH!
HA-HA. AH-AH-AH, YOU DIDN'T SAY THE
MAGIC WORD! HA!
HA-HA! HE-HE.
ARG-ARG-ARG. >> DREW BARRYMORE FOR
DR. STATTLER. >> THERE ARE BRONTOSAURUSES AND
BRACHIOSAURSES AND APATOSAURUSES.
BUT I HAVE TO WONDER, ARE WE PLAYING GOD?
>> JOEY LAWRENCE FROM "BLOSSOM." >> OKAY, REACT TO SEEING THE
DINOSAURS FOR THE FIRST TIME. >> WHOA!
>> ALL RIGHT, WANT TO TRY ANYTHING ELSE?
>> NO! >> GWEN STEFANI AS THE TEENAGE
GIRL. >> I'M JUST A GIRL.
DON'T EAT ME BIG DINOSAUR. >> CAN WE GET A FRIGHTENED
SCREAM? >> OHHH.
>> SINBAD. >> NOW, Y'LL KNOW THAT MY WIFE
IS A TRICERATOPS, RIGHT? YEAH.
I WAIT DOWNSTAIRS WHILE SHE TRIES ON SEVERAL TOPS.
HOW Y'ALL DOING? Y'ALL GOOD?
GOT YOUR LADY? >> AL PACINO.
>> WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK! YOU DUMB [ BLEEP ]!
>> OKAY, MR. PACINO, THIS MOVIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE PG.
>> PG? THAT'S GONNA BE A [ BLEEP ]
NIGHTMARE FOR THIS GUY. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
ALL RIGHT. WHICH DINOSAUR DO I BUY THE
COCAINE FROM? >> LISA KUDROW.
>> WELL, THERE'S THE T-REX. AND MUST MOVE FASTER.
MUST MOVE FASTER! OH, NO, OH, NO.
MUST MOVE FASTER! >> JALEEL WHITE.
>> OKAY, SO YOU JUST LET ALL THE DINOSAURS LOOSE ON THE ISLAND.
>> DID I DO THAT? I GOT BITCHES IN MY TRAILER,
DOG. I GOTTA GO, MAN.
>> EDDIE VEDDER FOR THE SOUNDTRACK.
♪ RAPTORS ARE OPENING OPENING THE DOOR
DADDY -- ♪ >> JODIE FOSTER AS MR. DNA.
[ WHISPERING ] SOMETIMES A MOSQUITO WOULD GET
CAUGHT IN THE SAP. IT WAS SO STICKY.
SO STICKY. >> COULD YOU TRY IT A LITTLE
HAPPIER? >> THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I'VE
EVER BEEN. TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.
>> O.J. SIMPSON. >> OKAY.
SO, IF I DID LET THE DINOSAURS OUT, LET ME TELL YOU HOW I WOULD
HAVE DONE IT. HYPOTHETICALLY.
MAN, 1992! IT IS GOOD TO BE O.J. RIGHT NOW.
AIN'T NOTHING GOING TO SLOW THIS TRAIN DOWN.
GO O.J., GO. >> CLINT EASTWOOD, TAKE ONE.
>> WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK.
Bill Hader's Alan Alda is the impression I didn't know I needed until I saw it.
That was a really good Whoopi. Actually thought it was Whoopi for a moment.
Not available in Canada. 😖
Hader's Pacino was too good!!!
Leslie Jone's Whoopie Goldberg was so good I had to double take because I thought it was actually her for half a second.
I never realized that Sinbad and OJ had the exact same voice and speech patterns!
Mirror?
My late boyfriend made me watch this the other day... Thanks for posting this. It's a nice little memory of him
My partner loves Gwen Stefani and this cracks them up every time.
"Oooooooh"