Journey Home - 2019-03-11 - Mother Seraphina Marie FDM

[Music] good evening and welcome to the journey home I'm Marcus Grodi for you your host for this program and once again I have this wonderful privilege to join you to hear a story of Grace and how the Holy Spirit in this case brought somebody back tonight's guest is for one of a better word we use the word Reaver to our guests was originally a Catholic but then was way out there and then by God's mercy she came back but there's an extra privilege in this particular program but you'll see as soon as the cameras turn away from me and then at my guess is Mother Seraphina Marie and she's FDM right and we'll find out what that means and I'm guessing I don't know the story yet I'm looking forward to hearing it myself but I'm wondering if when she was a little girl as a Catholic whether she thought that she'd be sitting not just on a program but here in this habit over we're anxious to hear your story Venis really is awesome and I you know I've been a Catholic for 25 years but I'm still all the different habits the different Franciscan spirituality is I'm anxious to hear about your particular order and okay what you're committed to but well let me get out of the way and shopping but you to start this on the journey out let's go way back it lets hear your journey of faith if I can go way back has very very early childhood memories there we won her that's reward yeah so it's so beautiful because a lot of the memories are even in church you know like when i was i pre verbal you know just yelling and searching here and my uncle come back i'm gonna have these memories you know and I remember I used to love to go to the community rail with my mom and I couldn't wait you know I used to practice giving my parents like it was a practice with the poker chips no you know you know I just thought it was the neatest thing you know going to the community rail with mom and just church in general you know and it was this Bloomfield New Jersey Sacred Heart Church of Love Field and I remember and I didn't know how old I was at the time of course you don't know you know but I realized when I after I'd come back to the church and become part of the church family that when they changed my church physically I was - I remember the day walking in the church at 2 years old I'm not in my father's arms and crying like what they do to my church my beautiful church they made it so ugly I remember that I had already profoundly and so it's it's very interesting I had a love for the church is a very young girl and then and I remember the day I mean I was in part of the grammar school or probably probably grammar school and they said you know and this is before I was able to receive communion that you know you can receive Communion on the hand I was like well okay I mean I didn't know any think that her at the time I didn't know what that meant and you know what I knew that we didn't kneel at the communion rail anymore and so you know when I was growing up I we went to church every Sunday I'm one of six children the oldest is six and we took up the first row shirts on the left hand side that was our that was our family row you know and no matter how how you know we had to obey we had to be good you know and we discipline was important you know especially near the front but the interesting thing is that when I when it came to learning about my faith it was all about you know feel-good stuff oh you know the church is good the church is holy let's go and make barflies you know and it wasn't really about the the meat and potatoes the nuts and the bolts that I know now about the church and I went to public school for my primary years and that was the time when our catechetical was not the best yeah yeah we were the experimental generation and they experimented with all these new catechesis and the the interesting thing was that you know I had Sunday school and stuff and then I was kind of a a wild child and in junior high and was failing on most classes mostly because I wasn't going and so my mother put me in a Catholic High School Immaculate Conception and in Immaculate Conception in order I think it was our sophomore or junior year I can't remember exactly we had Planned Parenthood come in and give us a presentation yeah and the way it was before to us is all abortions a horrible thing but it's there if you need it that's somebody who's so impression well and you know I was so naive I just believed everything anybody ever told me I never questioned things you know there's a horrible thing but it's there if you need it now I also remember in our health class watching the silent scream but there was no presentation or explanation of what was going on I knew it was horrible and I thought well I could never do that to my child but you should have a right to do that and I remember that and and it's interesting you know what the Lord brings to mind many years later he brought to mind a conversation I had you know so early on that it's like well you know I could never do that to my children so like they were my children but you know if you want you can do what you want with your it's almost like you know you have the right over life and death of others and it's kind of horrific there's that cultural relativism the soup that well you know what's right for you it's just different you know and I'm not gonna put my I'm gonna throw force my feelings on you and of course it's one thing when it's a neighbor or whatever but I mean it gets to be I'm a parent and I'm not going to force my opinions on you kids it's up to you to decide whatever you want that's crazy rude room this is a crazy world you know they don't think of the generations they don't think you know how wonderful and amazing the grandchildren would be no did your parents know what you were getting at school no my mother assumed I was getting the catechesis that she received and I found out towards the end of my life that my mother wanted to be a sister but it's very interesting the way things turn out but I didn't even know women did this anymore you know this was like the furthest thing from my mind because I never met anybody who was really committed who was a sister who's really committed who wasn't like under 80 years old you know and so I thought it was like four times gone by and it didn't happen ever you know but you know I fell into the whole worldview of things you know like the whole relativistic type of things I was a self-professed atheist you know oh I believe in God but you know who knows the truth you know and and you know it's my own truth so it's almost like secular humanistic as well you know it's like I know my own truth you know and I even asked the humanist one point says so you mean to tell me if I look at the sky and say wow that's a nice green sky and you have to say well that's your reality and they said yes you know like this table is soft and squishy right anyway kind of digressing well but still I mean that was the time period and and because I always believed that that often God lets us go through things because he's preparing us for a future way that will serve look back on your own life and what you experienced well sure absolutely so I got out of high school you know I mean I never thought you know I was gonna get married I was gonna have six kids like both my parents - actually my parents had six kids but each one of them were one of six yeah so I thought well I carry on this tradition to get married and carry on tradition you know and and I was going to be a performer I pursued a performing career in New York and yeah talk about you got involved music right yes yes yes what the age did you catch the bug for this well probably around probably prepubescent you know 11 10 11 12 I started doing these summer shows and I just loved being on stage and singing and dancing and turns out I had a gift to sing and so you know I would do different things and later on it was a it was a good entry back into the chair that was one of the steps in my entry back into the church but I had I met in this period when I was in New York and doing all this performing stuff and learning how to perform really I didn't do as much performing as that did learning how to perform I had I'd met a man and we actually got engaged and we were together for a long time and I had been gathering a repertoire together to audition for opera conservatory and then we recommit any activity at all in church anymore at this point in time oh not for years not for years you know I remember going to church when I was about 19 no no earlier than that I was a probably mid-teens 14 15 my mother just gave birth to my youngest brother and it was diagnosed with Down syndrome and I remember praying you know in church fervently lord if he has to be handicapped make him like not very handicapped you know you know the Lord answered that prayer so he's a very high functioning man with Down syndrome you know he holds a job and with two other men and it's amazing yeah so but after that you you were just gone from me oh yeah yeah basically unless I was forced you know oh come to you know Christmas Mass something so I tried to do the Christmas and Easter thing you know and whatever really I mean the heart wasn't there you know I guess his mother Seraphina Marie so you were heading to a secular music career oh absolutely you know I'm performers you know they they had they're so enlightened they they know everything about everything but at the time you know so I was engaged to be married and we were coming up and started to make plans you know and we found a place where we wanted to live and one day I'm on the phone talking to a friend and I said she's asking me well how are you gonna decorate and so we're talking about how we're gonna decorate the place you know and all of a sudden it flashed in my mind like almost like my whole life where I'm never I'm where I never wanted to me this is not how had planned my life out this is not there was something in my heart of hearts I knew it was wrong and I said I can't do this girlfriend somebody what are you talking about she said I said I can't marry him she says get over here so I went over my friends house I broke off my engagement that night whoa well I'm a woman of commitment you know one of true you know belief and if if I know in my heart of hearts this is a waste of time I'm not gonna waste my time I can't waste his time I just you know woman of conviction you go and do what I need to do and so I broke off my engagement and it's funny because there's several days where he tried to like you know convince me I need to go back to you know our relationship and one time I was I was in my mother's house my mother father's house and you know just cleaning the room or whatever and any clothes Mary says I'm right in front of the church why don't you come and meet me I was kind of an odd thing to say you know and I guess you know the Lord has this indelible mark about on you you know when he calls you even from well before you're born it's been oh and Jeremiah right before I formed you in the womb I knew you dedicated you prophet and so you know maybe he saw I know that he he probably saw something in me that I didn't even recognize you know but it's interesting because I at this point in my life my life was so crazy I just needed some peace and so I saw it peace at the church in my childhood because I remember having peace there so I just started going to church to reconnect with my god [Laughter] and so I went and you know I learned the most amazing thing like you can sing there so I joined the choir and then after a very short time I mean acquired not to go back to faith I keep on my voice somehow you know and you know nice venue to plug into you know and so I became the principal Cantor and started cantering you know all the high holy masses and the funerals and all the weddings and and it was a very active Paris about twenty five hundred families at the time know I asked you so you were singing this wonderful Psalms but were you listening yet to anything you were saying I think it was trickling in but it took about three or four years Wow and you know we had at the time when you know I was getting ready to make a change our church had gotten a newly ordained young priest who started teaching us about the real important things in our faith and about devotions like the devotion of Blessed Mother the miraculous medal and then he'd give out miraculous medals so I got one of those I was doomed from that point on and then you talked about the scapulars and I got a scapular and it talks about the Divine Mercy and then handed out cards to divine mercy and rosaries how to you know it's it's praise just of all new to you in a way okay I had never heard this stuff before and then want homily on the importance a sacrament of confession and I was like I've never heard this stuff the most important thing you said to me is that when you go to meet you know when you go into the confessional yes the priest is there but you go to meet Jesus Jesus is there I had never thought of that before and it's time in my life I was doing things I probably shouldn't have and I was really doing a lot of stupid but the thing is I couldn't do stupid now you know the way it is with sin you know it never makes you feel good for very long oh my you know take a couple hours or a couple days or a couple of months but eventually you feel bad about it so in those moments I would confess straight up because I wasn't gonna go to him in me Thierry you know I was gonna go straight up and I'd feel forgiven every single time go out and do the same dumb thing feel awful confess straight up and I would feel forgiven well and do the same no think so like in this this point of my life like it was even habitual and after that homily you know he gave out examinations of conscience that's words I put in my purse and that was really the the big seed that was the big watering that might my wife she had needed to to kind of grow and I got so frustrated with myself after again doing the same stupid thing you know I I was like oh I have to prove to myself and my god see him is still my god right how sorry I am and I'm gonna go and you Millie ate myself in front of the priests so I went to a church where nobody knew me and I I set the dye on my planner I kept the day I walked into the confessional and it was absolutely life-changing I walked out a completely different person and what I think happened as I left the person there that I didn't want to be I was absolutely delivered now I know that I didn't know what that all I knew is that like I felt like Atlas without the world you know that statue of Atlas holding the world on his shoulders but I didn't like I didn't know it was there but I know it's gone and I had this joy that like started almost down at my toes and just like bubbled up like it was just amazing like I had a smile on my face for I think like two weeks to the point were like my cheeks hurt and I and I had this this desire to learn the faith that instinctively I knew I didn't know and so I needed to do something holy and I I just looked at the bulletin at my local church and they were going on pilgrimage to Our Lady Fatima the National Shrine warning the Fatima's in New Jersey who know what I called it the lady and who was running the trip and she's I'm sorry the bus is full you know we don't have any more room she's but but who are you who am I talking to so I told her I was oh oh here the want that beautiful voice she goes you're gonna come if I have to stand so I did go and that was just an amazing I had an amazing spiritual experience that like I never had before and they had beautiful periodicals their Catholic periodicals apologetic periodicals that I kind of devoured and then looked at the references and went and got those things and then had they had free audio tapes so I got some of those and you know they led to other things and I started learning the the faith through really apologetics you know so and and it's very interesting because it took me an entire year to learn about the Eucharist I didn't know this like that's really Jesus oh no no they not telling you you weren't listening I don't know as you look back you all I know is that I didn't know it and it's very interesting too because now I'm sure that wasn't before I made my holy communion I'm sure somebody said something but you know at age what whatever was you know I didn't didn't compete compute but again like I said before it's interesting what the Lord brings to mind I remember a conversation I had with my cousin when I was 11 and we're talking about the Eucharist and I said oh yeah I think it's just symbolic it's a mere you know representation of God like I remember this conversation and that that I believed for a long time until my world was changed because and think about it like it makes perfect sense like who is God I mean who is Jesus Jesus is God right well what happens when God speaks do you know Marcus what happens when God speaks it is that's it like bag it just happens right God said in the beginning let there be light bang there was light let there be a separation in the heavens above and the earth below bang it it just happened like that's the Big Bang right so if God speaks and Jesus at the Last Supper holds up a piece of bread says this is my body that became his body and so through the priest Jesus said it again and again and again this is my body and that becomes I didn't know these times nobody ever told me like if I knew that was Jesus I too never loved Jesus and that was just the most part of the most profound part of it for me you know what fascinates me about conversion is the way the Lord uses things moments encounters to awaken us by grace and his timing is perfect because you know what I want to say is okay time to that time on your okay what was it about that confessional and that moment when you win in that door that changed you so I can duplicate it so we can make sure everybody that has that has but it was him and you and as you being changed by grace at that moment yeah and I was given unbelievable spiritual gifts you know I was given the gift to never desire to go back to my own life again changed all my friends just instinctively knew I had to and stop doing stupid but you know it's because of that you know in here that helped me believe in the reality of the sacramental miracles is because I know what grace did to me and you know what grace did to you in that confession absolutely no the reality absolutely and you know you say timing is the perfect yes gods Tommy's absolutely perfect you know this priest turned to me and he sits in the confession he says do you know what readings were doing enhance tomorrow I said well no he said the prodigal son he said you know the prodigal son I didn't know what that meant at the time look I know the story but I didn't understand the impact you know and so it was very very interesting you know God's timing so were you back in the church at that point I was so back in the church I can't even tell you yeah and I had been coming back little by little this newly ordained priest had asked me to start a young adult group in the church and to invite other people so yeah okay I can do that you know it would be nice to get together like-minded well I thought like-minded people you know and and so we'd get together and it was a very successful young adult group as a matter of fact and I was even asked to teach the Sunday school I didn't know I wasn't Catholic not until then you know until I learned it started learning my faith I really didn't understand did this awakening that then led to a hunger you know it's kind of like when you look at the Beatitudes very thirsting for righteousness and and all of that were you remembering things you taught Oh or was there an infusion of desire and now absolutely infused absolutely infused there's nothing that I was taught nothing that I remembered it was totally infused and I mean I just really I was so hungry for it and to do holy things and I I was beside myself but it's interesting the way the Lord works with you you know because of course its timing his prayer and he only works with what we can handle at a particular time you know I was not pro-life I didn't know to be Catholic you had to me I didn't understand that you know and so probably three months down the road at an epiphany party with these young adults my friend comes up to me and she she's talking to me about my younger brother who's got Down's syndrome he had come to the youth group and she was saying oh he's so wonderful you know he was such a like bright light and I was like oh yeah he's like the heart and soul of our family he taught us what love really was you know we were all on the outs at this point and he just brought us all together I mean it's just really he's the unifying force of our family she said wow people really need to hear that would you be willing to tell people I said absolutely so she was great we're pro-life prayer vigil in two weeks sounds like what I didn't understand where she was going with all of this but I already told a long time ago borscht is bad but but it's okay yeah and so I I'm one of my word I gave my word I wasn't gonna retract it at that point so very well let me just see about this pro-life stuff anyway so I started doing a little research and I thought oh yeah it's still horrible I could never do it's my kids and finally the morning came and my heart still wasn't really there but I was going to give my little witness and I had been praying to the Holy Spirit and Saint Anthony because his tongue was in corrupt you know so I learned about st. Anthony I was like okay so give me the tongue and so the morning came we met at this church it was a church that was literally around the block from the from the abortion clinic and after church we watched in the undercroft we watched the silent scream so my heart hadn't changed we persist praying the rosary and we were across the street from the abortion clinic and we were praying and then they were you know priests who got up and started saying things and then Protestant pastors got up and started saying things that it was my turn and I didn't know what I said I was gonna say I just got up in front of everybody I was like I'm just here to tell you about something who's really special to me and I was at that moment the Lord just lifted the veil and I saw for the first time that the excuse they give to keep abortion illegal this because there might be like my brother I was absolutely incensed and I knew that I had been lied to all my life and I knew I needed to do something about it so we have a very active prolife work but you didn't have a tear in your eye when you give that talk no I don't know what I said that Awakening is I remember saying I can't I remember feeling like just absolutely anger at never being told the truth before and so I I communicated that somehow I don't remember what I said I guess the Holy Spirit just kind of took over and I all I remember is how I experienced it Wow all right we're going to take a break our guest is mother Serafina Marie and we'll come back in a moment because we haven't got you in that habit yet right here that call for that as as well as your music career yeah and all of that so we'll talk about that in a moment and I also want to remind you all that stories like hers especially coming out atheism undermined you that book that's what I wanted to make sure remind you have that I have a book that I helped write the die I wrote the foreword for but it's about atheism and published by EWTN and it's about it was eight of the journey home episodes of atheists who shared their journey on the church and then they were edited and put into this wonderful book published by EWTN and we really hope that you would consider getting that because there are a lot of people out there today especially today especially that have been bought into relativism and and they've moved from their Catholic or even Protestant backgrounds into atheism that's why we this wonderful book called from atheism to Catholicism I want you to consider that be back in a moment [Music] [Music] [Music] welcome back to the journey home I'm your host Marcus Grodi and our guest his mother Serafina Murray and she has a website FD of Mary dot org at serve the Franciscan daughters of Mary dot orgs a fight about the work of her and her sisters and let's before we move on again I wanted you've left you on fire for the Lord you're hungry right and you've been awakened to the pro-life movement though he'd like so many of us you were formed in the church many of us even grew up looking like we were great Lutheran's or great Catholics and somebody would never have guessed that we didn't really have it in here I don't know if that's the way you were in a probably never guessed so then you have this awakening and I'm wondering as you look back was that Awakening did you have a good image of our Lord Jesus Christ did you have a good image of Our Lady well you know yeah it's very interesting my mother always instilled in us a devotion to Our Lady so I always had a devotion to Our Lady and here's the beautiful thing as my grandmother who I was named after sang in church and the at Christmas time I remember year after year after year as a child when the oven Maria came on the record player the whole house all my mother and her siblings and extended family everything got quiet and everybody listened to the Ave Maria the Baccano version which is not as popular as the other one that everybody listened to the Schubert version and out of engineer if the tears start streaming down the face so when I first started taking voice lessons I had to learn the Ave so the teacher said well okay we're gonna do this version I said no not this version because she wanted to do the sugar surgeon I said I wanna do the no version and she was but that's much more difficult and I said well that's the one so I always had this great devotion to Our Lady not really knowing with that man just that I you know and I I didn't even know the rosary like I knew it consisted of our fathers and Hail Marys but that's it I didn't know as a meditation on the life of and death and resurrection of the Lord I had no clue until I had been given a Bible after my conversion somebody gave me a Bible and I started reading it and in the Bible was one of those really big ones in there there were pages on how to pray the rosary so I taught myself how to pray the rosary and they gave little scripture references so I went to the scripture references and was reading while I was praying the Hail Marys you know almost like that meditative kind of way you know almost like the musical background to to the scripture and and I'll never forget one night I had the most evil dream and I really believed that that the evil one was trying to you know do something there and I was so frightened I woke up out of a dead sleep and knelt down and prayed 15 decades of the Rosary for the first time ever like straight through and then I found comfort in that and so I prayed a rosary every day after from that point forward and so you know it seems to me that your journey does remind us as parents even if our children wandered the importance of planting those seeds does that's what you're talking about it absolutely absolutely and being a good witness my mother father never talked a lot about the church you know we didn't help talk about Catholicism at home but we were expected to do certain things and that and behave in certain ways especially towards one another you know and but these are all Catholic ways this is the living out of the Catholic life without saying you know this is what and this has to be Catholic I think it would have been clearer if they had spoken about it but but it wasn't necessarily and when I became a teenager my father stopped going to church you know eventually my mother stopped going every week and it was very beautiful because when I came back to the faith she started going again there you go yeah it's beautiful thank you a lot of people churches their Sunday thing and then their Monday through Friday and Saturday thing is everything else in the world so even if people that get on fire for the church sometimes does that start impacting their Monday through Saturday well you had a music career what happened well studying really I was doing more studying performing yeah well you know I had actually done that the whole acting thing I went to one place in New York for acting one acting school in New York and it was awful they told all this terrible method acting where you know you had to feel everything and you know they brainwashed into thinking like you had to suffer your own personal lives being a good as a performer I mean without coming out and saying yeah that's really the message everybody got but and so after a year that I was done with it and so I said you know I'm gonna go back to the classics I'm gonna go I'm gonna study Shakespeare I'm gonna do ballet and may as well do opera because you know that was the classics and so I got into I I study the Shakespeare with a woman who wrote you don't have to be British to do Shakespeare and I started dancing ballet twice a week and I absolutely loved it and I started studying opera and that's when the voice just opened up it's like the whole voice and my whole system was created for this kind of music you know the Opera or even liturgical which I kind of don't be a classical kind of music and I had been working with my opera coach too or my up a teacher my teacher she was going to help me to compile a repertoire to audition for conservatory and in the midst of it all I something said I you have to step away after my conversion that you have to step away and I had never had like a regular day job you know I had done like side jobs and if nature say it different things like that but I never had a day job so I I asked my roommate you know like you know she she worked at this place this corporation I said well you know are they hiring you know she said yeah I go and see my friend was hired on the spot it turns out that I had a real gift for sales who know you know and and they fast-tracked me I went from you know entry level sales to management in three months very interesting and I was very successful I was very good at what I did and you know even won prizes for being you know the cash seller in the New York New Jersey market you know and it was very interesting and at this time I was like living in silk you know if you went it's my bedroom at a time every nice outfit was literally silk you know and I bought an SUV when they just started being popular right and it was a hunter green color so I dove and get a hunter green silk dress with 100 green pumps and hunter green you know poster child of the healthy but I knew that at this time like I had I told you before I was getting it's very active pro-life work and I got involved with a grassroots organization called life net who actually went into the schools to teach the kids and I was like I'm all about this you know I got to tell them the truth you know and I felt like the Lord was trying to tell me the Holy Spirit is saying you know like take a step back you need to do this more and make more time for this so I was I got my resume together and I was going to quit my job and then they offered me a promotion so I was like okay so this is the will of God and I was like okay well we'll see where this goes so I stayed with the company and I had to take a my vacation so I came back from vacation and I got called into the office while I was on vacation my supervisor one of the vice presidents dug up some dirt on me and they fired me and not only fired me they humiliated me because they went and interviewed all my staff and and found like this thing and I mean I didn't do the right thing it's true I didn't do anything different from everybody else but you know and I think it's just because the the CEO of the company wanted to put somebody else in that position they had offered me and that's okay and it's funny too because I I was on the phone with my lawyer after that you know that day when I got fired and he's like okay so what do you want to do do you want your job back and I thought oh no this is what I've been praying for - be careful what you pray for you know you just might get kicked in the pants before you get your answer so I figured okay so I'm going to delve into the pro-life work here and so because I I knew the Lord wanted me to get more time I stepped away from doing the performing - to do all of this and I try to make a go of it and I was semi successful at doing doing it as a missionary where you had to raise your own funds and and you know to do this as a so I had to have a side job anyway I'd have a part-time job you know after my 401k ran out excuse me I had to have a side job just to support myself and so um I realized like the Lord this is definitely where the Lord wanna me because of the way he converted me to being pro-life I knew that it was a friend I knew but I didn't understand exactly what that meant okay so if I can back up a little yeah okay so here I am after the conversion and I have this being pro-life and I'm just newly refunded my Catholic identity all of a sudden this the Lord just started putting these people in my life I didn't know existed like people that were really like faithful to God that really loves God and like gave everything up just for the Lord and I was like where were you before and so wonderful people started coming into my life and and so I started doing Catholic things you know go on a Catholic conferences go on at Catholic you know things Padre Pio's glove came to town so I had to get black I didn't know who Padre Pio was at the time now I took them as my spiritual father but I didn't know who he was at the time you know just taking a step by step by step you know as it was presented to me so the Lord gave me unbelievable formation unbelievable formation in the truth in classic spirituality like I didn't read all the you know semi holy things like people really the people he put in my life were absolutely Catholic absolutely devoted to him because I was to Catholic Church Catholicism everything that's you know classically traditional you know but not too far to the right you know because you can swing too far and get like you know angry at everybody else so right in the middle very that I was so blessed to have all of these people in my life and so I had been exposed to some holy people you know but mostly lay people until I went to this one conference it was a youth conference at Dunwoody Seminary and it turns out it was a youth 2000 and the sisters of life were there and I all I remember is like this sea of white and blue just breezing past me and they were young like that is awesome these people and so I the Lord just started you know working on me in my heart as far as like a vocation like okay so it is possible not you know oh I got a run for it it just is possible it's so like I kind of picked and chosen following up this noise that it's nice and I said oh you know I have to definitely be devoted to Mary has to be pro-life you know on if I ever if ever why you were working this was work and away at you exactly so it was like the the under you know current that was going on you know which was beautiful so one day at my regular day job you know I really failed job my employer was Catholic and she had a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe in the lobby area so I just happened to be walking by the picture were later go on looping I glanced over and it was like again one of these grace moments where I I just had to give everything up for the Lord like I was in at the time I was going to Mass every day I was going to Eucharistic Holy Hour every day I was in seven different ministries in my church three of which I started and it still wasn't enough I had to give my whole life to the Lord so from that point to the point of entry was three months cuz I don't mess around I was wondering what with getting fired where was that a relationship yeah okay so now I knew I had to do something about this okay so I visited the sisters alive it was they made such a great impact on me in their pro-life you know and and it was great and I was planning on being a sister of life and then I met these other sisters that I had met through the pro-life organization you know cuz they were pro-life scissors but they were Franciscan and I met them at a prayer meeting one of them said to me you're just learning a vocation and I said yeah how'd you know I just as one she just come to dinner I thanked it it's the dinner led to like a weekend and led to a week and I remember her Saturday night we're just sitting around the dinner table just laughing you know having to dessert and I blurted it out of my mouth not even you know no no premeditation just one can I join and this was a new community they had just they just formed and I I was going to be a sister life because I had made such a great impact not even known about the spiritualities you know Franciscan Augustinian spirituality which this isn't like hi no I no clue but I knew that as soon as it left my mouth it was right just this divine knowledge that this was absolutely right for me and so from that point to well it was about a month off I I said I had to get through the holidays because you know I couldn't do this to my family before the holidays would be too jarring for them right so we're at the dinner table one night and I announce after after the holidays you know I announced oh by the way I'm gonna join this community and they're like oh we thought you'd be a sister Sunday I didn't know but they did very interesting so it was just a beautiful little journey so I came to the community and after about three months living the life again it was like the light bulb goes off it was like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be this is who I am like here I've gone through all this almost a whole lifetime of experiences and and saying you know who am i what am i doing where am i going what am I supposed to be you know and Here I am every one of those questions was answered and the Lord in his wonderful comedy he had made me Franciscan from the womb because all of the aspects of our Franciscan life were present in my childhood and growing up and and and it just carried with me so it was beautiful if you let's say either Catholic or not Catholic watching who isn't familiar with a spirituality of a Franciscan sister you know what would you I mean ten minutes but I mean how would you would you really say is is the key aspects of the unique spirituality of Francis okay what we like most sisters meant professed Isles to Jesus of poverty chastity and obedience our community makes a forth out will hold the dignity of every human person from the moment of conception to natural death but the the poverty is radical in our rule of life it states that everything we have belongs to the poor we just use we need but if they need it more we give it to them so I got a regular basis for giving away like our entire food page or we're giving away you know our clothing like our coats or umbrellas or I gave away sister's shoes one thing not on her feet okay and we've kept in a way like our appliances and furniture and even our beds and we just trust that the Lord will provide what we mean again when he sees fit and so let's have radical in our community the way we live it out I've often thought that it's it is radical of course but even for us non-religious the core of that should be the core of our life I mean we need food we need water and we need clothing we need a place to live under and we need a church nearby everything else is over and above right yes everything else is over and above yes you know at the core of everything we plan our lives what am I gonna do Android tire you need food you need water you need clothing you need shelter and a church there you go I mean there's the core of your life I'm saying I'm saying that most people think they need everything else yeah that's the core and what you're saying is that now is that the core but it's totally in the hands of God right absolutely so because you know the the Lord dress is the fields of flowers and he knows every single one of those sparrows right and he's counted every hair on my head and he knows what I need he knows what I desire but he knows mostly what I need and he provides and it's beautiful because of this freedom that we have to let him work in our lives he manifests it in such a beautiful way the more you trust in God the more he blesses you that's just the way it works because you know if you don't trust them you don't allow him to work in your life he wants to but you don't allow him you put the and he won't compromise you will so if I say you know you gotta stay out here that's where he stays so but if I love them in there so could be in every part of my life you know one one year we went on a fast and we were going too fast from like you know everything basically except for you know well especially like coffee like I was big coffee turn Canyon now okay so like where we're gonna get some where are we gonna get the coffee from if we're just gonna leave because they want one year we decided just to let the Lord provide whatever we needed we weren't gonna go store we're gonna buy anything even though he provides the money for us to do so we're gonna go and buy any food or anything just whatever is donated I was like thinking myself okay like four am I gonna get coffee you know we in abundance of eggs because we fast three times a week so like where are we gonna get eggs we've never been donated these things before the very next day we were donated eggs and coffee it's like the very next thing if the Lord didn't waste any time and showing okay I am here for you and I will be there for you you know it's almost like God will do that in anyone's life it's just the majority of us are so much in the soup of our culture we don't give him a chance you know we're so caught up in all this other stuff I think what we comes to my mind we got an email but I'm gonna go that in a second because what I want is how do you help young people out there they're in the soup of technology or in the soup of our culture how do you help them see the beauty of the life to which you've been called it all we can do is invite and you know or even challenge you know I challenge you do this for a week do it even a weakest or do it for a day you know just see you know how much God can work in your life in a day and God will not be outdone you know and he will absolutely answer the prayers he will answer even your desires sometimes if he knows that's what it's going to draw you closer to him so I I would even challenge them you know just like okay be free of technology for a day turn your phone off for a day and just be free and see what God does you know you've never heard God's voice will turn all the media off and just ask him Lord speak to me there's a wonderful song or it says delight in the Lord and he'll give you the desires of your heart absolutely right but the interesting and you know spare me the interesting conundrum of that is is that he changes our desires right isn't just ease into giving everything I want know it pretty soon you're wanting what he wants that's I'd like to think of it as transforming our there yeah you know because he takes what's already there and transforms it to something so much more beautiful and when you can and and when he lifts the veil and you can see yes that's when the desire comes yes this is what I want got an email from Dominica from st. Paul who writes my brother-in-law is a successful businessman as someone who seems to have it all he hasn't been to church in years and seems to think he is able to create his own happiness and that success as a result of his own efforts how can I help reach him convey to him that he needs God in his life and that he won't be complete or truly happy with other relationship with God well I don't think that Dominica could I think that Our Lady can though and you know when you ask our Lady to do something she always always comes to she's a really good mother she's responsible I could hold her responsible for my conversion and my whole really my whole life you know we're dedicated to Mary pray to Mary to a novena you know Mother Teresa's flying over you know the memo re nine times and then once more for Thanksgiving of prayers answered you know do that for nine days or however long you feel like you need to you said that when you announced your family that you go onto religion Allah begged you said we knew that all time I had someone in your family been praying for you you know I'm absolutely convinced and I don't know how I know but I know that my grandmother was my grandmother died a month before I was born and that's why I was named after her so she knew me and I knew her but I didn't know her you know when I was still in my mother's womb but I know for sure it was through her prayers and Our Lady you know I'm sure she prayed 182 you know to intercede for me that it all came together at that perfect moment when I was ready to receive it how would you say that the pro-life aspect of your of your vocation is a special aspect of you Franciscan calling well you know it's what we should be doing anyway but we take a decided role in the church to uphold the dignity of every human person from the moment of conception after that so that means really giving the love of Jesus Christ to every single person first to the sisters and then every person that we meet no matter who you are no matter the circumstances of your life where you come from where you going yeah Jesus said something about whatever you do the least of these yes that's because Jesus there and maybe one last word of reflection to the audience about the beauty of your brother he is really the light of our life I think that if my brother wasn't born and if he didn't have his handicap we couldn't learn what we do and you know I I constantly referred him in the spiritual life because we're all handicapped to the Lord I mean you know none of us is God so another way in other words we're all little handicaps so but it gives me an opportunity to witness to the tenderness of the Lord because what happens when a handicapped person who doesn't really know how to do something messes up again well it's it's so easy to forgive them isn't it because you know that they don't know it they can't do it other Seraphina you very much free time the program and sharing your story and also all the work that you do responds to the work of grace in your life thank you very much good company and thank you for joining us on this episode of the journey home again we remind you about CH network.org that's the website where you can connect with me and my work and your more conversion stories and I would love to hear a mother's story affected you god bless [Music]

Channel: EWTN

Views: 23,129

Rating: 4.825666 out of 5

Keywords: jht01648, ytsync-en, jht

Id: e7rX28zpix4

Length: 56min 10sec (3370 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 11 2019