Jordan Peterson | How to Have Better Conversations

raishin I really thought this was interesting in the intellectual dark web is a really good example of this which you are a main pillar of in my opinion so let's say that two people are having a conversation and they're reducing their points they're maybe keeping it to a straight binary we see a lot of political polarization that's occurring today in the United States politics finding a lot of the beauty and the nuance of conversation when you take complex position and you maybe stay economists rather than become agitated all of these things tend to drive better conversations and it seems as though you're leading that forefront what what what do you see in that sort of path that we're walking of figuring out how to have better conversations there's a I write about this affair twelve rules for life there's a chapter I think it's chapter nine I think that's right assume that the persons that you're listening to know something you don't it's kind of a derivation of some of some things that I learned from Carl Rogers who was a great clinician great 20th century clinician his star sort of rose during the 1960s he was a humanist here's a Christian missionary when he was a kid but he dropped out and he became a leading light humanistic psychology and he was really interested in the preconditions for buta conversation and he thought that well if you were going to engage in the process of therapy with a client that the client had to bring to the session before he or she arrived the willingness to make things better that would be the first thing yeah right so that and I've done therapy that was court-mandated like I wouldn't recommend that that just doesn't work very well you know because you can't force someone to be better they have to kind of come already thinking that there's a bunch of things they don't know and that their life could be better than it already is that's a good position to take when you're engaging in a conversation with someone it's like look if you already know enough more power to you man you know but if you're suffering more than you think is necessary which is like highly probable or more than you think is desirable which basically means if you're suffering more than you think is desirable that means that you're way more ignorant than you need to be right that's what it means because maybe you have an illness you don't know how to cure it yeah maybe you're having a fight with someone you don't know get out of it maybe you're failing at work and you don't know what to do about it's like you're ignorant and no wonder because people are ignorant and so you might think well unless everything is just the way you want it to be then you have something to learn and then you think well maybe the person you're talking to no matter how uncomfortable you are with their opinions and how bent out of shape you think they are maybe even how bent out of shape they actually are there's always the possibility that if you actually engaged in a conversation you ask them questions and you tried to figure out what they thought that you come away with one crumb of knowledge more than you had when you went into the conversation and like conversations like that are a lot more interesting God founded my you know I've probably done 20,000 hours of clinical work something like that and so that's 20,000 hours of really really really really serious conversations and they're almost always interesting beyond belief and like I've had clients that's I told you already that sort of spanned the entire spectrum from people who were so impaired cognitively and behaviorally that while they were utterly unemployable by any any reasonable standards to people who were unbelievably high-functioning and I found working with all of them if I if I'm in the zone properly it's ridiculously fascinating yeah because people are ridiculously interesting and so and and everyone has their own characteristic experience that's actually unique and so if you have a real conversation with someone and they tell you what's unique about their experience the probability that you can learn something from that is but it's certain that you can like my low IQ clients god they taught me so much it's just they taught me how difficult things were first because to see someone struggle with a task that the typical person can do without even thinking sheds light on exactly how amazing it is that that normal people can do that and how hard it is when when you were impaired to the point where those sorts of normal behaviors become become impossible it's so enlightening it teaches you a lot about the world and so I think part of the reason that YouTube is killing television is partly because it's technologically advantageous I mean make no mistake about it there's nothing that TV can do that YouTube can't do and there's a whole bunch of things that YouTube can do the TV can't so it's obvious which one's going to win but what's also interesting about it is that there seems to be a massive and relatively untapped market for actual conversation and it's because conversation is people of goodwill we're trying to tell the truth we're trying to aim it making things better is unbelievably valuable I mean at least in principle that's what we're all doing here right I mean yeah even though you know you guys aren't talking um that doesn't mean this isn't a conversation you know it's first of all we're trying to pay attention to you at least enough to see if everyone's is engaged in the conversation if you're not engaged in it then it would be completely pointless right and you're involving them in your experiment that was amazing well one of the things I learned in my clinical practice is that if the conversation wasn't interesting then I was doing it wrong yeah it's rights just because

Channel: Simulation

Views: 1,449,316

Rating: 4.9125376 out of 5

Keywords: science, Jordan Peterson, Jordan B Peterson, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Intellectual Dark Web, conversation, polarization, politics, empathy, growth mindset, better conversations, jordan peterson better conversations, jordan peterson debate, jordan peterson motivation, jordan peterson interview, jordan b. peterson, jordan peterson lecture, jordan b peterson clips, dr. jordan peterson 12 rules for life

Id: sd7dSHU4BKs

Length: 5min 59sec (359 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 21 2018