- Hello there, Kennedy Center. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there tonight, but thank you so much for having me on for this very sad evening, or at least, I presume it's sad, because when I heard that Jon Stewart was getting the Mark Twain Award, I knew immediately
something was very wrong. There is just no way that
the Jon Stewart I knew would voluntarily put himself in situation where he was publicly celebrated and had to sit in a room with people as they offered him sincere compliments. There is just no way that
he would let that happen, therefore, the only
conclusion that I can come to is that Jon Stewart died, he's dead. (audience laughing)
He's no longer with us, and we are giving him
this award posthumously. That is just literally the only scenario that makes sense and honestly, actually makes me feel
a lot more comfortable saying what I'm about to say. So if you could just
layer in Sarah McLachlan's "In the Arms of an Angel"
(audience laughing) under this, that'd be great. I know it might be a rights
and clearances issue for you, so really, any sad song, but
ideally, the sad dog one. And remember, even if it is expensive, it is what Jon would have wanted. (audience laughing) And he is, after all, dead. So, play it now. ♪ In the arms ♪
- Perfect, thanks. ♪ Of the angel ♪
- Jon Stewart's death is a blow to all of us.
(Jon cackling) He was one of the most
important comedic minds of his generation, and
he will be sadly missed. I know it seems like he
hasn't died, doesn't it? (audience laughing)
That he's still here with us and I think that speaks to
just what a huge figure he was and how long his influence will be felt. And I know that you might
be thinking, no, no, no, Jon is here, he's in this
room with us right now, and I understand that feeling.
(Jon cackling) I really do. He's in this room, too, isn't he? He's in all of our rooms in spirit. But he's, of course, definitely dead. He just has to be, otherwise, this evening makes no sense to me. He just would not put
himself in the position where he's spending two hours, conservatively, two hours
squirming in his seat as he hears how much he means to people. He would rather be dead
than let that happen, which is why I'm so glad that he is. (Jon laughs)
He must be. There are so many things that
I wish I could've said to him when he was still alive. I wish I could've told him just
how much he changed my life, how much so many people owe to him, and how important a figure
he's been to so many of us. Also, if I got that chance,
I'd probably tell him that some of those field
pieces that he sent us on his "Daily Show" correspondence were an absolute nightmare. I don't think he ever fully
understood how bad that was. But I can't tell him any of that, can I, frustratingly, because of
course, he's so definitely dead. (audience laughing)
(Jon cackling) So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything, Jon, wherever you are.
(audience laughing) And thank you to Sarah McLachlan, as well. I presume you've got that.
♪ This dark, cold ♪ (upbeat music)
