-John, welcome back.
-Hey, Jimmy. Great to be back. Thank you
for having me, everybody. -Yeah, John Oliver, everybody.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Pleasure to be here.
-John... -Ah, sorry.
How you been? -I've --
[ Laughter ] What's new?
What's new? Anything? -You know,
it's nice to be back. Work's -- Family's good.
-Yeah. Good. I'm so happy.
-Yeah. -What are you wearing? [ Laughter ]
-Oh, that's right. Um, I am, uh -- I was told explicitly
this evening was bird-themed. -No, no, that's not true.
-No, that's not true. -Sorry about that, no.
-[ Laughs ] No, we did --
On our show on Sunday, we entered the Australian -- Sorry. Not Australian.
New Zealand. I could not have made a more
offensive mistake than that. [ Laughter ] Although, "po-tay-toe,"
"po-tah-toe," am I right? [ Laughter ] New Zealand's
Bird of the Year contest... -Ooh.
-...which is, this year is, Bird of the Century.
It's a fantastic contest. Everyone votes on their
favorite bird, and their bird then becomes everyone's official
favorite bird. And we loved it.
Really charming contest. I looked to see if there
was one like it in the U.S. There just isn't. And then, the more we
looked at it, we realized it's not actually restricted just
to New Zealand, this contest. Anyone can campaign for a bird. That seemed like a vulnerability
in their system that somebody could exploit.
[ Laughter ] We were happy
to be that somebody, and so we are now
the official campaign manager for the puteketeke,
which is what I am right now. [ Cheers and applause ]
It'll be great. -[ Laughs ]
-That's right. [ Cheering increases ] -What is?
-Well, it seems like -- seems like quite a lot
of puteketeke fans out there. -Yes.
P-Puteketeke bird. -Puteketeke.
I mean, even the -- even the name is just a dance
in your mouth, isn't it? -Yeah. Puteketeke.
-Let your tongue explore your face.
Puteketeke -And why -- why this bird?
Why the puteketeke? -Good question. It's that we thought that
it was a magnificent bird. I believe,
as we described it on Sunday, it looks like
Pauly D [bleep] a swan. [ Laughter ] I don't think it's unfair to say that's what you're
looking at right now. And so, it's a charming bird.
[ Laughter ] Right. You could defend that
insult in court, could you not? -Yes, yes, yes.
-And so -- Yes.
So, it's an interesting bird. There's only a thousand of them
in New Zealand. So I think it's a fine candidate
for Bird of the Century. -Did you contact
this organization running this contest
before you started? -We did, we did.
Yeah, we didn't just spring -- We said to them,
"Would it be okay if we were campaign managers
for a bird?" They said, "Yes, go for it." And I don't think
they understood quite what they were unleashing
when they said, "Go for it." [ Laughter ]
-Because you actually -- You put up ads
now all over New Zealand. -Oh, yeah, we've gone
absolutely nuclear on them. So, now, what I did not --
Before you show it, what I did not realize
going into this was that the the bird
that won last year won with just over 2,800 votes.
-2,800 votes. -Yeah.
-Mm. -Uh, I think we might beat that,
due to the things that we... -[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.
-So, yeah, we put up billboards in -- Well, first, we put up
a billboard in New Zealand,
places in Wellington. Lord of the Wings. Yeah.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] -So that was --
that was just the start. -Lord of the Wings
is pretty good. -Lord of the Wings is --
Yeah, it's not bad. It's a good starting point.
-Yeah. So... -From square one,
we then really went global. We put up billboards in --
Okay. This is Mumbai, this is Tokyo, this is
the Champs-Elysées in Paris, this is London,
this is Ipanema Beach in Brazil, and this, of course,
is Manitowoc, Wisconsin. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -You ended up in a little town
in Wisconsin, as well? -Yeah. Not everyone
lives in big cities. -That's true. You're right.
That is -- That is unbelievable. This is unbelievable.
I love that you're doing this. You're like, "Oh, we're
gonna make this a thing." And this bird is -- I think
this bird is gonna win. Everyone who has
an e-mail address -- -If you -- If --
Anyone can vote. You should vote.
If you go to votethisbird.com, pick the puteketeke
as your choice -- as your first choice.
It will ask you to -- You just need a valid e-mail. If you then validate that
e-mail, you will be part of what I think is going
to be a landslide victory. It is American money
undermining a foreign election. What is more to be proud
about that? [ Cheers and applause ]
-[ Laughs ] -What?
-[ Laughs ] That is unbelievable.
You know, there -- there are over --
[ Both laugh ] -Now I keep -- I'm now realizing
why you keep lunging backwards. And it's 'cause
I've got a beak. -You have a beak, yeah.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, I hadn't --
-You came in, we were gonna hug, and you're not used
to having a beak, you know? -I nearly stabbed you
with a beak. -Yes.
-What a way to go that would be. -This is the funniest --
I never thought I'd see it. Like, this is great.
But there's over 70 birds competing for
Bird of the Century. I just want to get your take on a few of the other ones
to see what you're up against. -I will say --
I don't want to -- I don't want to be too honest
here, but you even show me them, [bleep] these birds.
-All right, all right. I understand, I understand,
I understand, I understand. -But make your --
make your best case. Show me something which
is better than the puteketeke, which you're seeing
right in front of you. -Yes. Okay.
The puteketeke... -Give me another bird.
-Well, how about this? How about an
eastern rockhopper penguin? -I mean,
that looks like a hip -- [ Audience groans ]
Exactly! You can feel
they're not convinced. [ Laughter ]
-No, I think they -- -No, they're not.
That's a hipster penguin. [ Laughter ] What are you -- What are you
bringing to the table here? What have you got
the puteketeke doesn't? -Due to their --
[ Laughter ] -Due to their
rocky environment, they cannot slide on their
bellies like most penguins, so they hop -- they hop around. -No, that's -- I mean, that is
a charming little detail. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -But I'm willing to bet
that's all you've got. [ Laughter ] What else?
What else, Jimmy? What other rockhopper facts
have you got? -They're excellent --
-Hold on. Let me -- Let me just
cover up what's written. [ Laughter ] Tell me something
about this bird, Jimmy. -I have no --
They weigh 5 to 10 pounds? [ Laughter ] All right, all right,
so this one. Yeah, this one's out,
but they look kind of cool. But I'm going puteketeke.
-Yeah. Thank you. -How about this?
How about the tomtit? -Oh, please.
[ Audience "Awws" ] Please!
Please, that is a -- That is a --
That is a basic bee. [ Laughter ] That's more bee than bird.
[ Laughter ] Pick a lane.
Which do you want to be? -I mean, that's
pretty cute, the tomtit. -What does it do, Jimmy?
What does it do? -Uh, the tomtits are attracted
to humans because they stir up soil
and disturb insects for them to feed on. -Okay, so --
[ Laughter ] -It started off good.
-Let the people decide. Do you want this thing?
Again, bad bee costume. Or do you want the puteketeke? [ Cheers and applause ] That's -- That's what
democracy is all about. -The last one I'll just show --
This one is just, uh... No, this is interesting.
You could have one here. The royal spoonbill.
-Oh [bleep] [ Laughter ] -That's a --
that's a pretty good bird. -That's a decent bird. -Are its feathers
always like that, or is that, like,
a special occasion? Is that after --
after being glammed up? [ Laughter ] -She just came from the CMAs. Yeah, exactly. It has -- -CMA is exactly the right one.
Not the Met Gala. -No, no, not --
-It's the CMAs. Yes, not the Grammy Awards.
Not the American -- The CMAs one.
I don't know why. When they've caught something
to eat, they lift up their bill. They let the morsel slide
down their throat. I don't really like that.
-Yeah. The bill has
a vibration detector that can detect prey
in murky water, allowing the bird
to feed at nighttime. -I mean, we're all learning
more about birds than we thought
we were going to tonight. -Yeah, this is interesting. -I would not be mad
at losing to that bird. -Yeah.
-I'll be totally honest. I didn't come into this
expecting that, but that's a decent bird.
[ Laughter ] -But you -- you said you also
like to puteketeke because of their mating ritual,
their mating dance. -Yeah, they have an incredible
mating dance. I believe there's a video of it. What I like about it
the most is that they put -- Well, you'll see.
Do you have a clip of this mating dance?
We talked about it. -This is John talking
about the mating dance. -And you want elegance?
Oh, I'll give you some elegance. They have a mating dance
where they both grab a clump of wet grass and chest-bump each
other before standing around, unsure of what to do next.
[ Laughter ] -All right.
Convinced right there. -What's not to like about that? [ Cheers and applause ] If you don't identify
with that, you're not answering honest questions
about yourself. -All right. Good.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I wanted to say thanks again
for doing Strike Force Five with me over the summer.
-You're welcome, Jimmy. I am more than happy
to talk about any other subject than birds
while wearing this bird costume. [ Laughter ]
-I want you to. I'm so excited. I just love it.
You went for it. We did a bunch of episodes. I got to know you more than --
[ Laughter ] more than I ever thought I knew
to get to know you, and your beautiful wife,
as well. -It was super fun.
-Yeah, and we -- Episode 5 went a little --
a little haywire. -I mean, it was a masterpiece. -It was a masterpiece
of a disaster, wasn't it? -Well, did your wife -- -Well, my wife,
when you started texting all of our wives late one night,
and it was late... [ Laughter ] It was late to have
your wife saying, "Jimmy's texting me right now."
But anyway... -I shouldn't have
texted that late. -She said --
She said to me, "I don't know
what these questions mean." And I said,
"It can't be that confusing." And I read them and realized, "Oh, [bleep] it was very much
that confusing." [ Laughter ] What I didn't understand
was you -- you texted different versions
of confusing questions to all the different partners. So you had layers upon layers
of a debacle that was going to unfold. And she said, "I don't think
this is going to work." And I said,
"I think it is going to work but not in the way
that you think it's going to." [ Laughter ]
And it did! It was the hardest I've laughed
during the strike. The strike was a stressful time,
and, boy, you gave me
some hard laughs for that. -Because we were on these
Zoom screens. I could see you,
and I could tell if something made you laugh, your head would
fall out of the screen. -I was --
I was laughing so hard, I wasn't making any sound,
and I was in pain. [ Laughter ]
You kind of think, "Is this what it feels like
to rupture a spleen?" Because I think it's...
[ Laughter ] -It was -- it was
one of my favorite experiences. What a terrible time and turned
it into something great. Raised a lot of money
for our staff and crew. -Yeah, it was it was the one
piece of -- scoop of ice cream in the middle
of a pile of [bleep] [ Laughter ] -I'm so happy you're here. And, gosh, thank you,
and best of luck to the puteketeke.
-If you're wondering if this suit is hot to be in,
the answer is yes. [ Laughter ]
-John Oliver, everybody. "Last Week Tonight" airs Sundays
on HBO and streams on Max. Matt Rife joins us
after the break. Stick around, everybody!
