Joe Rogan Experience #2131 - Brian Simpson

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day let's go Netflix special what's up Netflix special live from live from the mothership streaming on Netflix right now the first special live from the mothership to be streamed on Netflix yeah man how's that it's exciting man it's great too man you nailed it you [ __ ] nailed it get a good good positive response from the comedy community too beautiful yeah yeah beautiful everybody's loving it yeah it's just going to keep going keep keep keep getting stronger now I know it's such a nice feeling man it's such it's so nice to watch this happen for you because you know you were one of the guys that came out here early you took a early risk yes you know a lot of people in the beginning of like what the [ __ ] is everybody doing moving to Texas the middle of the pandemic yeah but you know honestly it didn't feel like that big of a risk well maybe at the time I don't remember man but it it felt like an easy decision when I made it but it was a last minute thing I I literally from the time I decided to move like I was I'm moving to the time I moved I think it was like a month yeah it was quick for me too man yeah I mean I was I came out here in May of 2020 and I started looking at houses immediately and then you know we got there was like you know a little hesitation with Mrs Rogan and the girls were really into it right away because when we got out of here you could jump in the lake people were partying it was like we went on a boat my real estate agent's a genius she took us out on the lake and she showed us like this is the like the life out here like people are having fun and everybody was terrified in La everybody was wearing masks outside it was just and here like no one had masks on outside you go to restaurants and and my daughters just wanted a a life a real life and that's back when they were like they were [ __ ] with the store yeah like the city it was so crazy for the store to be two blocks from what's that Country Bar Road what is it Road House SD Saddle Ranch it was two blocks from Saddle Ranch and Saddle Ranch had you know a hundred people out there with little dividers between them and everything and then the store they tried to have they tried to do the same thing but they put comedy outside with like the vs in front of everybody and everything and the city was still like no yeah that's live performance shut it down we couldn't do comedy through the [ __ ] window my friend's brother worked for the city and worked in the covid department and one of the women who was in charge of making the decision to close down outdoor dining he said to her there's no evidence that outdoor dining causes a spread and she yeah but it's about Optics it's about Optics so some person who none of their money is dependent upon business being open they get that same check every week that check is that's what you get you work for the [ __ ] State this is my check she didn't give a [ __ ] about just stopping millions and millions of dollars in business and stopping all these restaurants from being able to stay alive all these people that bust you know you ever worked in a restaurant oh yeah that's work man that's work when I was uh I guess I was 21 I was dating this girl who uh she got a degree in uh hotel management and Hospitality like that kind and dude the hours that she had to work were crazy right out of college she was working like all day long 12h hour days were normal and if you were a manager you wouldd come in on Saturday if they needed you you do everything that they ask you to do and you don't make any money there's cring the the the amount of money that a restaurant makes like a restaurant has to be like really killing it to make money right re generally they're just above the just above the part where they're losing money just above they they do pretty if they're packed they're doing great but there's nights that they're not packed and you got all this food you bought that's how most comedy clubs are running exactly yeah we're just we're living in some Dreamland Yeah well yeah mother doesn't have to worry about that at all we I don't know how that happened so well uh it's crazy how it happened so well oh yeah yeah every single night we could have never like when we were we Brian and I for people don't know we would sit in the Green Room of the Vulcan and this was the dark days where like no one knew what was going to happen with live performance anywhere there was no touring nobody was touring well Bert was touring still some he was doing parking lots he was doing those Drive-In shows he's a Savage he's the only one him actually no him Eliza did it to yeah him and Eliza right um a few other people did it too I don't know man but bird invented the drive-in thing but the point is it was weird we didn't know what was going to happen and we would be talking about we got to build a club because Ron White to literally grabbed me by my shoulders you know was like whatever the [ __ ] we have to do we're opening up a [ __ ] club here he goes we're going to [ __ ] keep doing this I was like okay we got to keep doing this it was literally Ron White grabbing me in November of 2020 it was the first time he had been on stage and he crushed of course not only did he crush the Ovation that he got when he was walking to that stage holy [ __ ] I forget who brought him up I think it was Duncan I forget who brought him up but whoever brought him up the [ __ ] Ovation that he got was so insane you saved him too cuz he was he went from retiring to now he's on the road again yeah I was telling him you're never retiring what are you talking about they invited me to his retirement party I go I'm not going to your fayi retirement party there's no way that's real you're not quitting you're one of the best Comics alive you get to do one of the most amazing things make people happy make a a bunch of of people just laugh and feel so good and he's and he's better than ever better than ever better than ever sharper than ever always writing and enthusiastic like he's revived yeah man I think dudes get to a certain age where they have this thing in their head where oh H this is not my thing anymore I'm going to just like settle like why are you alive are you alive can you still kill you can still do it right George Carlin died on the road son he died in a hotel room like a [ __ ] Soldier that's true he was like a thousand years old whining about the country you know and George Carin had a career that lasted for like 50 plus years yeah and then and um the Bob Saget died on the road Bob Saga died tragically that's a horrible one man fell blacked out fell and hit his head you know um we saw uh our friend Duncan the other night blackout oh yeah yeah Duncan fainted at uh The Black Keys uh concert and he didn't know he was fainting he didn't know what was going on and I caught it red band grabbed me and he goes look what's going on over here with Duncan and I got over to it and our security guy had caught him before he fell but I thought he tripped over this box cuz it was like open you know those boxes they use for equipment it was because we were backstage we were in the corn we had this dope spot to watch the show and um when he grabbed him when Bruce grabbed him Duncan um just seemed weird it's I grabbed I'm like you okay did you get hurt he goes no I go did that thing fall on you and Bruce is like no he fell on it and I go uh what happened he goes I don't know I'm I'm fine though I'm fine but then I feel his body like giving out in my hands so I've got my hands on him because I was helping him up but I feel him giving out and so I hey man you okay are you okay and so he starts like SL slumping you know and I go hey we're going to get let's let's sit you Down's sit you down and we were trying to figure out what's going on okay and you know he was sober it wasn't a drug it wasn't anything like that then we sit him down I go are you all right he goes yeah it's so weird man I just felt so weird I just all of the sudden I just like I just was passing out and he goes out again he just goes out again right there and I grab him I go hey hey hey hey hey hey hey and then they get EMTs and then this lady comes to take care of them and this dude comes and they we carry him over to a cot I think he was locking out his knees I don't know what it was so you know what what's weird is that we haven't talked about this since that happened yeah well I talked about it with him yeah he doesn't I don't know if he he knows we're going to talk about it on the podcast oh yeah he probably doesn't want us to talk about it you think so I don't know should we not talk about it I don't know he let's put would put a placeholder in there yeah yeah okay how did I get to that point though um we talking about drugs no talking about um blacking out oh Bob Saget oh Bob sag down so Bob Saget just fainted which [ __ ] happens man I mean you could there's a lot of people that want to blame it on the vaccine and blame it on this and that like might maybe but also people faint unfortunately it's I've seen people faint Stone Cold Sober Tony hli fainted one night at The Comedy Store so bad he banged his head and everybody was really worried about him just fainted you know it happens I fainted boot camp oh [ __ ] yeah right after them telling us not to lock out our legs thought I wasn't listening and locked out my leg walk up like everybody's over you it's like time travel why you were explaining this to me but it didn't make any sense to me the Locking out the legs thing yeah for whatever like if you're standing still for a long period of time and you and you fully extend your knees it just it cuts off circulation or something but yeah I've see people drop like fly like if you ever had a parade or something you see people drop like that [Laughter] it's just what a dumb feature in human beings uh the medical name is orthostatic posture SE syncope happens at churches graduations weddings or at events when standing a long time more common if one keeps the knees locked this pulls the blood in the leg veins a person who stands long enough in one place will faint holy [ __ ] yeah I thought that was a myth n i' seen it happen live that's crazy multiple people bro I would have argued with that to the end of time I was like no no I'm not figting if I lock my legs out I'm not fainting I'm not F yeah I think well it varies some people don't like if I think if you have like really good circulation I i' I blacked out once and it was so embarrassing was it from just standing no I was in a uh fa8 going 6 and a half G's well well that's kind of a humble Brer well no no no because I got through more G's I got through seven and a half G's we did seven and a half and I was I was on the verge of blacking out and first of all these Pilots these Pilots they're not using gravity suits and those Air Force and navy Pilots that fly those Jets those guys are jacked dude they have to be really fit because part of the thing is forcing blood into your brain so while you're like while you're steering this [ __ ] insane vehicle dude when you're in one of those things and you realize what they can do and he took me for a ride we went through the mountains he's going sh I mean we're only like 100 200 feet off the ground this [ __ ] dude is expertly piling piloting this thing through trenches and [ __ ] it was wild it was terrifying but then he was explaining to me okay you know they they take you through this whole training course with the Blue Angels and then he's explaining to me okay now when you hit the the the high G's you got to grab onto your straps like where your legs are and they grab onto their um the the uh the joystick but whatever you're grabbing on to you grab onto and you think do a thing called hooking so you go like this and you're forcing blood into your head to stay conscious and then the gravity the G force is pushing down on you and your Consciousness is like elevator doors and you go like so I'm doing this and I hear him doing it and I'm like oh my God he's experience what I'm experiencing too and flying and he's I thought he was maybe immune to it by now right he's going hoot and I'm going oh my God this is insane just the physical demands that it takes to fly one of those things like yeah you have a a a car that handles well you have a nice car when you take turns in that car you know how your body kind of goes sideways a little bit you got correct a little if you're really going fast I mean the re they handle so flat but you feel the G's you feel the thing when you're turning imagine that times I don't know what the volume is but when this thing is going what is it 500 mes an hour 200 ft off the ground is it pushing from everywhere bro I don't know it's just so immense the pressure is so immense oh so I got through that and then we did this other turn that was not as many G's I want 4 and a half or something like that it wasn't nearly as many but I didn't hook I didn't do the thing I thought I was going to be fine and I just blacked out threw up oh man so I got through the harder part I got through the harder part and I just [ __ ] slacked off I think I was so blown away by The Experience so blown away by what these thing what it feels like when you're inside one of those things and what they're capable of doing it was it's so mindblowing so what so it changes your idea of like what a thing can do you know how like look if you're in your car like especially like car your car is fast it handles well when you're in your car you have a completely different sense of what a car can do than if you're in like a 1970 pickup truck with a shitty six-cylinder engine and [ __ ] you your car is going it's gone now when you get a Tesla it's that times five cuz Teslas are insane they don't make any noise and they go 0 to 60 in 1.9 seconds so it's just like this the car disappears now that times hundreds is what this Jet's doing it's so [ __ ] fast and did you tell them to put a little extra on it no I said let's go brother let's go he was like you ready to do this I'm like let's [ __ ] do this I was in I was in I was like this is what these guys do I want to experience it take me for the real ride and it is a ride dude it's a it's a changes your your your reference points imagine the [ __ ] ego you have to have to be to be that kind of pilot well they're all men these are men men these are like jacked men who are like real friendly and super polite and they always drink their water and they always get their pull-ups in these these guys are men and they have a full gym set up there these guys are in shape constantly you do not get out of shape if you're doing that you cannot get out shape it's too hard bro it's bananas how hard it is you missed one hook you dead you're dead and you're going to have to eject and you're going to give up that you crashed A1 billion doll jet or whatever the [ __ ] those things cost didn't somebody crash recently there's a couple crashes there was one where a guy had to eject like it lost power or something like that so he ejects and it slams into the mountains of North Carolina it was crazy yeah it just ran out of gas and slammed to the mountains but the guy parachuted down I believe in that one there was another one more recent before that rather not as not as recent where there was like this crazy fiery crash and like they were doing tests and guy lost control the jet bro you could lose control one of those things dude I'm telling you when you're in it it it's not what I thought I thought you're like just [ __ ] Spirit no it's the physical force on your body it's insan insane insane there's no way I would do it for a living that's why the UFO [ __ ] is so perplexing because whatever those things are if they're ours nobody's in them no [ __ ] chance no chance nobody's in those things because you would be turned into Jello like that from going from changing direction so quickly what they're doing is moving at a what was it like that they estimated the Tic Tac to go I think it was 13,000 G's something in saying where it moved so fast cuz it went from supposedly went from above our atmosphere which is like above 50,000 feet down to like 50 feet in a second and didn't crash not only didn't crash sto dead and hovered they're like what what can do that and what happens to the people that are in that you're gone bro you're missed you're pink Mist you're like those people in that submarine you just block bro I just speaking of that [ __ ] I just watched a I just watched a YouTube video about another [ __ ] incident what's the name of it Boeing no it wasn't Boeing no no this was a long time ago it was this was a mining uh a mining rig where the guys all the guys got all the guys got sucked through a door oh like a a door was a door was cracked and actually only one guy died that way but because that door got cracked it killed everybody inside oh my God you know that like that deep sea especially when it was new that deep sea like mining [ __ ] cuz you have to those guys have to live oh my God sucked into an oil pipe oh my God no this is this isn't it but still but Jesus Christ sucked it on an oil pipe yeah some of these people cuz they would they would U what the [ __ ] was did you see that one where that sinkhole opened up in the bottom of a pool of a swimming pool yeah the whole pool rained and people got sucked into the sinkhole and died what the [ __ ] when did this happen I don't know happened in Israel Israel oh man bro sink holes are crazy I mean sink holes are crazy and they're every they're everywhere some of them the weird thing is some of them they look like they look like someone CED the Earth like they're circular so look at this it just a hole opens in the bottom of the [ __ ] pool it starts spreading oh did did people go in there yeah people went in there man bro that [ __ ] is deep oh yeah you gone look at this how crazy must that have feel to see the thing just implode in the bottom and a hole open up like a curse was put on the pool and what is my man doing right here no one knows what the [ __ ] to do man yeah but that dude is he's looking like he going to reach in there grab some like because he's trying to think where his family is oh well yeah people got people got fall they I mean how deep is that [ __ ] thing if you get sucked into that with all that water yeah you gone oh my God that's terrifying the thing is there's no way that it's smooth and like you probably oh you're dead on the way down you're dead on the way down face bashed in look at those edges and [ __ ] yeah did you see that one with that hole opened up dude that's my biggest fear I don't want to die in a in a like where I can't move what do it what do you call it with rocks crushing your head drowning just any kind of closed space where they just take my space yeah well I just claustrophobia I just told the CIA how to torture me they already know how to torture you broing all the they just checked your Twitter and they ran through an algorithm they know how to torture you what um what was that one Jamie where a hole opened up that was so big it was like it was it was circular it looked fake we had a we had a confirm that it was real even though it looked like really bizarrely fake it looks so fake it looks like CGI what is it we're going to pull it up you all right find it yeah I give me a second I got you know what it is right that's a terrifying way to go though the the Earth just gives out from under you yeah and I would give up immediately I went to uh Pompei when I was in Italy and uh that's a wild one dude so wait minute it's it's still there yeah yeah you can go there how you know you could they let you they let people walk through it oh yeah you can walk through it yeah it's like a museum they can go you could see where these people lived they've uncovered most of it you know they they uncover people and they have the people on display and the people are just like Stone they just got impregnated with Ash and all that's left is like their form but but why why why go into that pose like right when you cuz it just overcame them like a wave like you don't have you don't understand what a volcano eruption is like yeah Ice Cube is the only reason I know what pyroclastic flow is what is that what a great lyric I know right ice cubes got some great [ __ ] lyrics that's it look at that that's a real sinkhole bro wow how insane is that it looks like someone took a apple core to the Earth like look how smooth it is it seems like the sort of thing they should be able to predict though no they can't though man because there's underwater currents and streams and rivers we can't keep an accurate assessment of exactly what's going on under the surface and what kind of erosion is taking place and what kind of cavities are everywhere bro that's that's like a gateway to Hell so apparently and I might that's like a movie I might be off about this but apparently everything behaves like a liquid like all hold on it says it's created by humans I got to figure out a way to get past okay sign up for it if you have to yeah it was like everything behaves like a liquid just almost a like solids just do it on a slower scale like all the all the little fundamental parts of it are moving like liquid you know how you know that earthquakes you ever been in an earthquake oh yeah it it feels like the Earth became like you were on a raft that's another part of the reason why I left California I like everyone was living there acting like that [ __ ] wasn't on the way you know what I mean like that shit's overdue bro and it's going to [ __ ] [ __ ] up it's going to [ __ ] [ __ ] up in an incomprehensible way I got to LA in 95 door and it was right after the earthquake and I got to see giant sections of the highway that had collapsed on top of cars you could see it it was all the the highways were collapsed right in front of it you could see where they collapsed and I was like I am never going that way whatever needs to be done that way I'm going all the way the [ __ ] around I am not going to be on the bottom of that thing I don't even want to be on the top and ride it out I think you'll die that way too but the people on the bottom are dead as [ __ ] they're definitely gone Diggity dead as [ __ ] that's a terrible way to die or to be on be to be in some building that collapses on some of the BRD some of the bridges would fall off and people just drop you see them the cars just drop bro that's what happened in Baltimore bro oh yeah yeah yeah [ __ ] that [ __ ] being on that [ __ ] [ __ ] that in a place where there's earthquakes [ __ ] that and how about bro that's Taiwan right Taiwan just had a big ass earthquake 7.5 when did when did that happen just now just like a couple days ago wow look at that look at that building man I mean the fact that it's even still up is kind of crazy and bro what kind of building CES they got in Taiwan wow damn all these buildings [ __ ] stood the yeah a lot of buildings stood but a lot of buildings didn't see the whole thing with buildings like if you make a building in California you have to you have earthquake regulations you have to make your building sturdy in a way that's supposed to be able to tolerate at least a little bit of yeah but who's the I mean but who but how do they know you didn't until everybody did I had a problem with the house that I had once and the the contractors had cut Corners all over the place we didn't realize it until we moved in and then it became a real problem real pain in the ass you like who the [ __ ] how can how does somebody on the take like how does somebody not catch all this stuff but it's just they don't they just don't have the time The Regulators don't have the time there not enough money to go and check everybody and that's why when when people say you don't need regulation with construction I'm like listen [ __ ] you need that [ __ ] those dudes are shady yeah if you don't if you don't yeah it's a countdown till building fall apart I I should be real clear I know some great guys that are contractors I know some awesome people that build houses and build buildings and they're great people and they're super ethical but I've also met so many Shady ones I don't know any good ones they're all no I'm I'm kid i' I think it's like three out of 10 are shady that's what I think at least somewhat shady and it just [ __ ] it's a hard world to navigate if you don't know somebody you know if you know a guy and he can tell you I got a [ __ ] great contractor he's an awesome guy you'll love him and you're like okay now I'm in business with someone I I really like to see I like that yeah I mean well it's a business where the only way for you to make more money is to [ __ ] over your customer to make more money than you're supposed to right like after you've already agreed on the money yeah the only other way for you to make more money like you're not getting tipped at 10 I know it's almost like there's a F line between someone who charges too much but they do an amazing job I'd rather deal with that person I'd rather deal with that person as well yeah yeah I want someone to be I want them to be compensated for their work and I want them to feel proud of what they do you know I have a friend who's a carpenter and you know he'll talk about buildings he'll show me pictures and [ __ ] it's like this is a beautiful house that this guy created and it's like for him it's like a a bit that killed right yeah it's like a bit it's like look at this house we made for this guy and he showed me the pictures I'm like man that's you know the problem too is is when you're especially when you talk about hiring people to build a house for you they know how much money you working with so they know they can squeeze you here squeeze you there you know yeah they definitely in some cases they do they know what they can get away with and what they can't oh yeah well it's the it's the rich when people think you rich they always charge extra and some people do but some people don't and the people that don't you really appreciate some people give you free stuff yeah but there there there are definitely people that try to take advantage of you and it's kind of gross so like come on man yeah but I think people don't people don't know better they've got to know better they just there's a weird that's a weird um if you're charging someone more because you think the person's more successful you're doing this weird thing like they owe you more like they don't care like this is like come on we're just supposed to be people like do you have a a charge for your goods and services yeah that's like you know what is that's like people that think you owe them your privacy well this to your family at Disneyland like hey man I don't mean to interrupt but you're interrupting yeah I'm with my kids I get how people just they this is their one chance to say hi that's what it is that's what it is like Brian Simpson oh [ __ ] it's their one chance and I get it it's just like sometimes you can't do it but it's like when you see it's like it's it's almost like when you see Indiana Jones sitting there with the with the with the bag trying to swap it out real quick you can just leave it there yeah Indiana get the [ __ ] out of there yeah but but I get you're a professor it's a lot of pressure of like but this is my last chance to [ __ ] [ __ ] those rules yeah I get that but you know surprice that you pay price of Fame yeah this weird life it's a price you pay what a great life though it's well listen we we are the luckiest people alive we get to do what we love to do and it's fun and we get to hang out with each other I laugh so much in the mothership Green Room it really is like it's the it's the place I laugh the most me too me too too yeah yeah it's it's crazy especially after sets you know yeah between shows between the early show in the L show is is is the best time yeah cuz we're primed we we've already gotten off stage especially if Tony's had a good set yeah is he he gets the ball rolling yeah if he's not upset at anybody can you [ __ ] believe this he is a fire brand let me tell you bro him and Lucas are endless when him and Lucas start roasting each other it's endless it's endless they never run out of [ __ ] to talk about I thought they I thought David Lucas has proven to me that there's it there's literally infinite ways to call someone gay I don't think he's ever going to run I don't think he's ever going W get to the last one he just finds different references you know different references yeah it's just the two of them just laughing and going at each other I swear to God when when I'm a guest on kill Tony and David and Tony are roasting each other it's harder than I ever laugh at anything cuz it's in the moment and I know they're slinging there they're they're shooting from the hip they're just using their brain you know and killing each other sometimes we get a little we get a little private one in the Green Room yes we get those all the time we got that last night but it's just the the reaction it's just it's so fun man [ __ ] we're so lucky to kill Tony's here too you know dude that show is so important it's so important just just to let people know like it's just about being funny I know there's all this other stuff that gets wrapped up into it because you're trying to establish your identity and you're trying to let people know how you feel about things and you want to make sure everybody knows you're on the right side but really what you should be doing is just doing comedy do comedy and if you figure out a way to make your points hilarious great yeah make all the points in the world but they got to be funny and when you do Kil Tony you have one minute you got one minute and it sort of establishes an ideal in these young Comics Minds that hey it's really just about making these people laugh and if I can get good enough where I can make my ideas funny and I can make these people laugh with ideas oh yeah that's like what you do that's like black belt [ __ ] well it kills me that the because the amount of balls it takes for the amount of people that go on kill Tony and it's their first time doing comedy ever mhm I'm like bro that's a hell of a way to do your first open mic is in front of millions of people yeah that's a crazy way to do an open mic it doesn't make any sense but if you can do it wow what a feeling that must be and we we've seen people do it we've seen people change their lives yeah if you nail it bro William Montgomery is killing it on the road right now he's killing it he's selling out he's doing a whole hour we mean we saw him we saw him when Hans is killing it we saw William when he had to have notes on stage and we remember we we kept telling them you can't have notes on stage you can't hold your notes and read them and some people were say no that's a part of his act they're go no it's holding him back because on kill Tony doesn't have the notes he comes out and stares the audience down and he's dangerous and he's weird I'm like that's you when you're at your best he's like I'm worried I'm going to forget my jokes you're not going to forget your jokes you do them every night you're com you're a professional comedian this is part of the thing you have to learn like you can't race in Lem man with training wheels on you can't yeah William's been he's been on a [ __ ] tear lately he's killing it yeah you know when uh the Black Keys came in town they're huge William Montgomery fans and that's what's so crazy so he got a shout out he got a shout out at the post fight interview yes yeah Dustin porier then he yeah then The Black Keys are huge William fans yeah they he came he did our show that night specifically because they requested him oh wow yeah the show is full so but I was like yeah let's go like they need to see this everybody loves that [ __ ] he's awesome he's awesome and he's so unique there's only one William monery that's a unique dude he's so busy I never really see him every time he hugs me I'm worried he's going to stab me he gives you the weirdest hugs they're a hug like like he's thinking about stabbing you yeah yeah I think he he's like um you know how like apes don't have like medium twitch muscle fibers I think he missing cuz so they can't hug they can either they either can do it as gentle as possible or or Crush full like's got he's got like eight maybe he's primitive yeah maybe he doesn't have the ability to give you like a nice warm embracing hug it's either smash or gently touch he hugs you like he about to suplex you yeah like you're we're going to scuffle yeah but he does it to everybody good guy good funny guy and then some of the some of the other newer like I think I think all the DU guys are funny pretty much I haven't seen Miles in a while but I keep hearing he's killing yo miles miles is on a whole other tear man he cuz he's he's one of those people that's like he's different he's real different yeah yeah yeah so Casey rocket well that's yeah yep Casey's figuring it out too like he's got he's got a thing where I was like I don't know if he can do that for a long time and then I think he can he's figuring that out I think he also can do different things in between doing that he can do go any way he wants like he's doing it this one way now where he's like hyper energetic but that doesn't mean that's how he has to do it he's funny but he's got so much energy yeah he's funny he can do anything he can figure that out as he does it but that's the most important part of this developmental phase that he's in it's like he's killing but he's like learning how to do it I have purposely gone out of my way to never write a joke where I needed to do a backflip you know what I mean and it's like both he's got so he's got so much energy in the in the ACT I said this to uh Shane Gillis last night while you were on stage I go there's no one in the world who kills more effortlessly than Brian Sims oh wow cuz you have a casual killing you're casually killing oh yeah like you you don't get hyped up and when it it actually it's interesting in your style because it actually puts more weight on any criticism you put on something oh yeah that's cuz my first 10 years in comedy I I wasn't sleeping so you're tired all the time so I was just tired all the time and I just learned that's just how I've learned to do it that's hilarious that's hilarious yes yeah I didn't get good sleep for years I finally got the the CPAP machine like 5 years ago and I couldn't believe it yeah big difference oh man it's a huge changed Joey some people have them and they're like yeah but I don't use it like how do you not use it I tried it once I didn't like it but uh I have a mouthpiece that I sleep with how does that work it presses my tongue down so the mouthpiece is fit to my lower teeth and is a tongue depressor and it keeps my airway open oh yeah see I try to dud to have big necks like football players almost all those dudes have sleep apnea it's a big neck thing and it it runs my family the big neck you have a big neck and look at all this tissue and if you have you know a big tongue I have a pretty fat tongue and a this neck and this the hole is not as big as it probably would be if I had a like a skinny neck oh I see what you're saying you know like your neck is tissue this is all [ __ ] stuff I mean I build that up with exercises does it work though mpie it keeps my my airway open I sleep great with it but if I don't have it man I snore it's horrible I'm pretty sure I tried to get one of those but then they mailed they mailed me a kit that I had to do other stuff and I'm like yeah you have to form it to to your teeth you lost me step two like I can't I don't do step twos you can go to a dentist though and they'll do it oh okay I think I need to do that I'll set you up I got a dentist that does it for me I had to did it with my audiologist for for my ear in ear monitors yeah that's I didn't know that you could do [ __ ] like that yeah the INE monitors where they form it to your ear oh man that's one of the best choices I have a long time yeah I have that for the UFC so when I'm at the UFC they made me one so when I put it on it's mine it fits right in my ear perfect there's nothing better than nothing goes better than it bro that is the worst thing about cauliflower ear those dudes are [ __ ] oh when you get crazy cauliflower ear like I I was talking to this one of our guys at the security guys at the club they're all MMA guys ju-jitsu guys and one of them has these [ __ ] up ears and I'm like but you can't hear good right he's like it's not as good it's definitely not as good like that's big can he get them drained his are gone his are hard they become calcified oh so what happens is the blood pulls up your your ear gets broken right and the the tissue separates and blood fills it and that blood over time will become calcified so it literally becomes Rock it feels like rock I have little little bits of it but when I trained most of the time when I trained I wore uh ear guards like wrestling ear guards just cuz I didn't want to [ __ ] my ears up because if you just go like this and you talk like this normal you hear things but if you go like this and talk like that you're missing something you're missing some sound and you don't realize you're missing it until you let your ear go you oh now I hear it all well you're giving that that's you forever forever now you have rocks on the outside of your ears so all this design that God created to let us hear so brilliantly where captures sounds and rolls them around and goes inside your ear all that's gone it's all out the window now you get rocks that's one of those new uh earphones that goes outside the ear they're not brand new but if anyone's listening and has this problem this is called a jaw induction headphone so it creates sound frequencies that bounce off the bones inside your head and so even if you have [ __ ] up ears yeah cuz it's not going through the ear it's is that for any sound or is that for uh like listening to music and [ __ ] it's good for listening to music but like technically it will emit sound so like if you're next to this person you'll be able to hear it too but not perfectly but it's made for the person that's wearing it you know what's really incredible cool though have you do you know what game ears are you know oh you know what like tactical headphones where you can listen to people talk but it has like has a filter technology in there that stops the sound from being louder than a certain volume so when someone's shooting a gun it's never that loud right right you know those yeah you can hear so much better with those things well because they also they so you create you create a gate a frequency gate where it's like anything below that frequency it brings it up anything above it it brings it down so people put these on when they go hunting and they turn them on and you can hear [ __ ] like multiple times more than you would be able to hear normally so you could hear footsteps so like if a deer like if you're in a tree stand and you're sitting up there with your rifle in a tree stand you're listening around constantly you ever do that you ever a tree stand hunt uh no it's a mind [ __ ] dud I was wearing those when I I was working a 50 DB of hearing enhancement that's a lot yeah it's a lot yeah I've used them before it's crazy I W those on a on the on the rifle ring not the not the but they were like over here kind yeah but it was like you could hear people you walk away from people and they go [ __ ] you [ __ ] you hear all of it well you have to I I learned that you have to act like you you have to be very selective about what you react to because you don't people don't need to know that you can hear them right you know like and if you give it away yeah that's a problem the cat's out the bag yeah you got to get yeah it it taught me patience cuz I'm like oh that wasn't for me to hear that was just him getting his frustration you know I don't need to react cuz he think he thinks I'm 50 feet away right so I was like why I don't need to react to that yeah [ __ ] him I rather I rather wait until somebody goes I'm about to shoot this [ __ ] right then now you know yeah then the Secret's out if you have those headphones on man it's it's really bizarre because you can hear things that you can't normally hear it feels like super hearing yeah but you can also shoot guns and it doesn't hurt your ears it's weird yeah amazing amazing that somebody figured that out but anyway man if you got bad ears like if your ears get calcified you're you're definitely it's going to change what things sound like is the price to pay to be dangerous yeah I guess I mean you could wear ear guards I just didn't understand yeah they suck I hate them they cut your chin they they're [ __ ] they irritate your head but to me it was like I had these nice ones that were vinyl and they were just designed for Jiu-Jitsu so they they were flat to your head okay and they were they were really comfortable guys do do it seem like a [ __ ] move [ __ ] move guys like cauliflower ear too it lets people know you know like if I was saying I'd look tougher if I had cauliflower years yeah but I don't know if that's worth it it's not worth it it wasn't worth it to me but I'm also not a professional you know what I'm saying like if you're a professional and your ear gets [ __ ] up you you're back in training the next day there's no uh oh I got to get this drain and take six months off and let it heal shut the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ] up and get back in there dude you're are a professional fighter I'm just a comedian so for me it's like I got to mitigate what gets [ __ ] up right you know the people love those things though they it's like a Badge of Courage they walk around with a cauliflower ear and they're like everybody knows I know how to [ __ ] people up damn so you so then you know what that means it's definitely people getting the fake cauliflower they get an ear injection so they can look well all you'd have to do is damage your ear you could do it pretty easily especially with some people it's it's real different you know some people don't get cauliflower ear crazy they don't even train with uh ear guard don't mess with me and some people they they'll break their their ears and they'll [ __ ] they'll do things to their ears on purpose take so they can purply get yeah they'll take a Jiu-Jitsu belt and they just [ __ ] smash their ear and they're trying to give themselves caulifower ear people have definitely done that oh that's crazy yeah I've also met guys who are white belts who just started who got cauliflower ear and they never did anything about it they got this big lump on their ear I know and they're terrible and then there's people that there people that do it for decades and don't get anything yeah but it's rare it's pretty rare or you're just like really Elite at defense there's some guys that are so good at defense you just never really catch their head but usually you would think that you would catch their head early on in their career before they figured out how to be really good defensively and technically but there's certain guys like good luck getting the hold of Marcelo Garcia's neck unless you're a lot bigger than him like Robert Dale someone like that or tapped him you know that guy was a wizard like when you're when you're that fast you ever seen Marcelo Garcia okay want I want to show you this one time where I saw him live in Brazil in 2003 where Eddie was competing for uh it was at the Abu Dhabi World Championships and this is the year that Marcelo Garcia like burst onto the scene like people didn't know who he was is this the same year where Eddie yes he triangled hoer yeah so um good get Marcelo Garcia versus um God who was it not Eddie what's that I have with Eddie but no no no that's just that's just him they're just training uh Shaolin Shaolin hubero Marcela Garcia Shaolin so this dude Shaolin who's uh hio r i b r o um Shaolin is a legendary Jiu-Jitsu guy like super highlevel black pel so for him to do this to Shaolin is so insane you got to see this move he just spun took his back and strangled him unconscious and this is like instantly in the beginning of the match this this match happened it's like 30 seconds and he puts him to sleep watch that again cuz that scramble is so he does an arm drag that was smooth go go to the from the beginning show just go from the beginning because it's so quick anyway so he does an arm drag Marcelo Garcia is in the uh Rashard he does an arm drag on his right arm look at this watch how he turns turns turns turns keeps going turns keeps rolling keeps rolling gets the back gets the hooks in super strong legs now he's got the hook in and now he's securing the neck and he's going to hang on and he's going to just [ __ ] crush him to sleep and he's asleep right there dude that is so insane yeah that is so insane that that is one of the most legendary finishing sequences in all of Jiu-Jitsu history because that was like the moment Marcelo Garcia who's like one of the greatest of all time burst onto the scene and he just locked in yeah so that guy even he has caulif year oh as good as he is as good as he is yeah you can't it seems like unavoidable yeah some guys don't get it it's weird and some guys are just real big guys some real big guys never get caught you know real strong guys what El about like every time I whenever I see somebody with callif flower is like I I know two things I know one they can probably fight almost definitely and two they have some kind of old nagging injury that they hoping I don't discover you know what I mean like all the most dangerous dudes are like if if anyone hits me in my [ __ ] left knee right they will fold me the [ __ ] up so I I'm I'm that's why I'm scared that's why I don't [ __ ] with those people like old dude don't [ __ ] with them because they gonna fight they gonna give you everything they got to so because they don't want you they don't want the fight to go so long that you find that injury yeah also like don't just be [ __ ] with people thinking it's a fair fight people stab people they shoot people just don't do it just don't do it man if you want to prove yourself go to a gym right go to a gym learn how to fight and then you will lose all of your desire to do that in a bar especially after 30 I don't give a [ __ ] if you're 20 don't do it don't [ __ ] do it man it's how people die it's how people get locked up in jail for the rest of their lives 20 somethings though they can't you can't tell a 20 yeah you can I listened yeah I listened I was terrified of fights when I was in my 20s and I knew how to fight I didn't want to go anywhere oh yeah but you grew up fighting yeah but I mean when I would go out to bars right right like if I was out to bars with my friends and [ __ ] would break loose I'm like ah exit please I'm not fighting anybody I'm getting the [ __ ] out of here yeah I knew that early early on because I knew guys growing up in Boston going to high school in Newton was outside of Boston I spent most of my time in Boston because that's where I did Taekwondo I met some hard [ __ ] dudes some hard hard men one of the guys that I met was a [ __ ] hit man for Whitey buer he was a guy I was training I was teaching him Taekwondo and he was a hitman like well known that he was in the Irish mob well known and he was taking Taekwondo classes I was around people that like so in my mind any man that you just have some confrontation with and stre even if you beat his ass that's not the end of it he's going to come find you this idea that you could just do something to someone and there's no consequences is ever what it could be a year from now 2 years from now 5 years from now you're going to be looking over the shoulder for the rest of your life what do you [ __ ] stupid just get away don't fight with people don't argue with people yeah smart don't don't piss people off we'd all be better off if people didn't have this desire to control themselves and that's what you get rid of when you go to the gym when you learned youru Jitsu when you learn a martial art and you don't have this desire to test yourself all the time because you're constantly being tested when you go out you just want to have fun and chill yeah most of the fighters I've met you know I've met a lot of Fighters since I've been since I've lived here now most of them are pretty chill super chill like you said like almost you know a lot I think all the security people at mother are all Jiu-Jitsu guys and they all and you wouldn't even know like I know one of the guys was like some kind of champion you know and it's like and you would never know it they so humble yeah and respectful it's cuz they get challenged all the time they don't want to do it like in real life the real challenge is challenged against skilled people when you're doing that all the time when you're rolling with black belts and you're fighting off triangles and triangle turns into an armar and you're like barely escaping and then you get side control you're battling all day long you're battling in your head after the class you're going oh how did he catch me how did I do that why did I do that my left foot [ __ ] and you're trying to figure out what you did wrong what you did right you don't want to get in a fight in a bar you want to go have fun if you would go to a bar with a bunch of ji Jitsu people they're all laughing they want to have a good time they say thank you the waitress comes over they're polite they're they're nice people they get it all out man you got to get it all out and if you want to get it all out at a bar man you're going to get killed there's a confidence that comes from knowing exactly where you stand where it's like oh I I you know I know that that dude can beat my ass like I know for sure yeah cuz he's done it every day for the last six you know what I mean and just knowing what you you you don't go out with this insecurity about you right I think most of them most of them yeah I mean there's wild dudes that get involved in cage fighting but overall I feel they are exceptional human beings and I know that sounds crazy for someone who thinks it's barbaric but you have to understand that the character development involved in becoming a guy like a Dustin porier you want to be that good that the the [ __ ] fire you have to go through to be at a world class level for as long as that guy's been doing it and and be that good right now you know what man that's a exceptional human being exceptional there's not a lot of those out there and when you meet those guys you're out with those guys they're the [ __ ] nicest guys they're cool they're calm they they have their [ __ ] together they're even sha Strickland who everybody thinks he crazy and he says a bunch of wild [ __ ] Shawn is a great guy he's a nice guy he's a real smart dude who had a [ __ ] up childhood and he's an excellent professional fighter and he's a nice guy if you're nice to him he's a nice guy he's fun he's fun but you know in the street if you you find that guy and you talk [ __ ] to him for no reason he's going to put you in the hospital he's going to put you in the hospital and it's not you can't do a goddamn thing about it you don't even have a chance you have nothing you have zero chance this idea oh [ __ ] these guys can't fight I know how to fight shut shut your mouth you have no idea what you're talking about definely shouldn't be out talking [ __ ] to people for no reason they do they always did it they used to do it to Chuck liell people would talk [ __ ] to him they used to do it to Mike Tyson Mike Tyson people would talk [ __ ] too people are there's some certain people that are just crazy man well speaking of Mike Tyson these people that think that he don't stand a chance against Jake part that like this shouldn't even like he cuz he's too old I like I think you're I think you're crazy well they're definitely uninformed yeah because here's the thing he is 57 years old he he will be 58 when they fight he he has had a long fighting career he he has been knocked out by Massive men like Lennox Lewis and a Vander Holyfield you know he's he's had a lot of blows and you know it's long you know long past the time where most people ever fight you know the only person that ever fought competitively in at after age 50 it's Bernard Hopkins and Archie Moore Archie Moore did it back in no Foreman was 40 for Foreman was in his 50s I believe when he had his last fight was he he won the title he's I'm grab some whis yeah yeah yeah Foreman was the want some ice and glasses and [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I think Foreman captured the heavyweight title at the oldest age which was 46 when he fought Michael Moore he hit him with this perfect right hand it was crazy uh that's okay that's that Bodega cat that's Mark Norman stuff we got some good [ __ ] though so how old was he 48 so his last fight when he fought Shannon Briggs Shannon the cannon shout out to Shannon what let's go champ so he beat Luc aares he was 48 years old crazy crazy crazy and he knocked out Michael Moore he was 45 so he was the oldest man ever to win the heavyweight title at age 45 and you got to iiz like that's a real 45 that's not like a 45 today the 45 today is 45 with testosterone replacement and human growth hormone and peptides well that's that's what I'm saying this Mike Tyson yeah he 57 but he got access to everything everything and he's also doing this very unique uh kind of training with electrical muscular stimulation that I've talked to some people that um do that and it it's uh it has massive benefits of rehabilitating injury and it also uh for a lot of people gives them significant gains when they use it as opposed to just using weightlifting I I don't know too much about the science behind it when Jamie comes back we'll have him look it up but you slap electrodes onto yourself they they they put these pads on you and it's hooked up to a machine and while the electricity is going into your muscles you're doing exercises so while you're getting jolted you're doing squats and you're doing like deadlifts you're doing all this [ __ ] while you're connected to this uh thing that's stimulating your muscles but isn't um isn't that aren't cuz my main concern would be I guess in my head where it's like what if the electricity the timing is off and it and it goes to contract your muscle at a time where you're trying to I think it's constantly contracted and I think you're you're fighting through the I don't know I haven't done it I'm talking on my ass what is uh that thing that Mike Tyson does where he gets connected to like an electrical muscular stimulation machine I've seen it in training footage and I know from talking to the guy that uh was telling me about cheers my brother congratulations on your special thank you it's awesome I'm so happy to see you chilling good bourbon not bad this is I think this is the jack car stuff yeah that's not bad no this is uh Bal con Texas pot still bourbon that's legit mhm that's yeah this is this is real legit that's legit yeah that's good stuff what we just talking about George Foreman Mike Tyson mik Tyson yeah yeah it is so they he they do this thing where they slap Chuck Zito they do this thing where they slap um these electrodes on them Chuck Zito's a giant fight fan shout out this this is now yeah so they they put these electrodes on them and they have them performed different exercises new fit NE fi T and so they have this machine okay a breakthrough in neuromuscular electrical stimulation devices utilizing direct current so it's a device that uses uh an updated form of neuromuscular electrical stimulation to send electrical impulses through the skin to the nerves resulting in muscle contractions and sensory impulses the nme s technology mitigates the action potentials of both peripheral and central nervous system allowing for communication with virtually all parts of the body the impulses stimulate muscles and other tissues including contractile and sensory muscle fibers and sensory and motor neurons the stimulation also leads to increased blood flow in the areas where it's applied so I know Tyson was doing that before the Roy Jones fight when he was when he was training I believe he's doing that now too but that's interesting right cuz You' want to do like everything you can with a 57y old body to get it ready to do that yeah I I I don't think people know you don't lose that much ability you know you have to understand who you're talking about but it what what does change though is your your ability to recover yes right and then you the amount of damage you can take yes that's that's what changes but he can still [ __ ] destroy that guy thing about the amount of damage you can take it's ALS that's also um that's all it's it's all in comparison to how much damage you took in your life right there's certain guys that as they get older it's very disturbing because you see them get touched with a punch and they just go out you'll see that with like you know some older MMA fighters I saw that with chucko yes where it was like nobody could knock him out and then it was like anyone could in his prime he was ferocious dude he had an iron chin and ferocious power and just this Warrior mentality he was just chasing you down he was hunting you inside that cage everybody but anyone with an iron chin eventually they start getting knocked out because the reason you know they have an iron chin is because you've seen them take some there was this dude in boxing his name was Doug dwit and Doug dwit was not uh the best fighter in the world but he had the best chin of all time dudes would tea off on Doug dwit and it was like nothing happened he was crazy he was known for his ability to take a punch and then one day it just went away one day it went away and one day he just got dropped and knocked out and then he just couldn't take shots anymore it just gave out it just gave out like a bad suspension yeah like yeah you got see if you can find Doug dwit highlights he was born with 50 Knockouts in you this dude had a thousand Knockouts in him like you couldn't knock him out he he was getting hit clean in the face by murderers and you couldn't you couldn't stop him it was weird and he was known for that like if a guy was gonna fight Doug DT you know you knew he was a good fighter but you knew that the thing about him is he had the craziest chin of all time he was known for it uh I don't think that's Doug tot that's nael Ben is that Doug dit no that's not Doug dit dude it's a different guy different guy there you go it's just a wrong part of oh no no yeah because these are all this is uh Nigel Ben who was a real Destroyer man he was a [ __ ] murderous murderous puncher I can't find Thomas Hearn versus Doug dit that's kind of the same thing that just happened I don't let me see actual video is so Thomas Hearns one of the greatest knockout artist of all time yeah and that's that guy Doug dit so he's 25 so this is when Doug dit still had an iron chin should not be fighting Thomas Hearns like whoever set this up this is a terrible matchup scoot your head a little bit is is this is this one where he finally gets knocked out I don't know but Doug D was a very solid fighter but Tommy Hearns is just Next Level Tommy Hearns has the most ridiculous back look at that back that's where all that power comes from dude look how wide he is so when Tommy was 147 I think this was a middleweight fight which was 160 but you got to real like Tommy when he fought Sugar Ray he was 147 when he fought like Pino quas and all those other dudes dude he was he was very light he was but he was that tall with that kind of power so look at the Tommy Hearns is teeing off on Doug dit I'm telling you most people who fought Doug dit were stunned by the amount of power that guy could just absorb he just he's a really good fighter and it wasn't like he was a bad fighter he just wasn't like World Champ ionship caliber where is he now who knows man it's not good at the end no it's not good at the end I was reading about this uh this boxer from the 80s who was living in LA and you know they would have to almost like put string on him to make sure he didn't travel too far away from the house like he would get lost on his block he didn't know what was going on he's just his brain is just gone gone it's just gone yeah the price they pay man it's the craziest price the chance at greatness the craziest price and you never know when you've crossed a line you never know when you've crossed the line into your brain's not going to return you know in the beginning you don't even notice a slip you know you're just like I'm just tired from training you know you don't even notice you and other people start noticing it maybe you have a drink in you you can't really form sentences that well you know like one drink and all sudden you're slurring your words and everybody's like what's going on with Mike ah he just had a couple no he had one [ __ ] drink like he's slurring his words like something's going on that's like one of the first things you see and then it keeps going the the damage doesn't get better over time it gets worse they say that a lot of the brain damage doesn't even like show itself to like years after the actual impact of whatever the [ __ ] happened yeah dudes start doing wild [ __ ] they start gambling start doing coke start going crazy but then some people are just fine right some people are fine yeah yeah it's weird it's weird some people retire and they had long careers and they could talk fine and they're they're great you know look at Andre Ward I know that's why and you can see like whatever brain cells Floyd Mayweather's father had left he was like I'm gonna make sure this don't happen to my son yeah yeah it's like of Floyd saw it too of course he had the most defensive fighter of all time he's like son this is what happens when you get hit yeah well also just like seeing it seeing it from his uncle uncle Roger oh that's what I meant yeah his uncle yeah yeah he sounds drunk all the time well he's dead now yeah he died unfortunately Roger Mayweather was awesome in his prime Man black Moma he was another dude he was different than Floyd he was a crazy knockout artist you ever see Roger fight oh yeah yeah he's a great trainer too yeah he's a very good trainer very very very good trainer and he's got that famous quote most people don't know [ __ ] about boxing true he's right he's 100% right I don't I know like I barely do the the SC this but I know that I do know I know enough about boxing where I feel like when I'm watching a good boxing match what I'm enjoying is not with the average person right most people just want to see two big dudes in the middle of the Ring just throw punches right you know they don't care about the strategy of it right but I like to watch you know I like to watch the breakdowns and people the footwork and why his why his feet are right there and this one dude made a really good breakdown of how Anthony Joshua caught Francis and Gano it's really good yeah it's really good cuz he talks about how Joshua was setting up these reactions by jabbing to the body and uh how he was jabbing to the body and how Francis would dip his left arm and like throw a hook and then he was like trying to block the shot to the body and dip his arm throw a hook so he timed it right where he fainted the jab to the body Francis reacted and he hit him with a perfect right hand and you see in the breakdown how he set it up and like that is boxing that's real boxing that's not just a big guy who can punch but that's like super sophisticated chess playing in the middle of this High consequence scenario with a giant knockout Striker and people are and some and some people are like levels above that you know well that's usyk usyk is level above Anthony Joshua because he boxed the [ __ ] out of Joshua two fights in a row and had him in trouble like in the first fight in particular had him in trouble man he had Joshua reeling and he was all over I mean usyk is really a Cruiserweight he's not even that big he's small for a heavyweight you know usyk was fighting I think at 197 and then he went up to fight heavyweights so like when he stands next to these guys he's so much smaller than that that's why I part of me deep down I wish boxing had like a a UFC type like I wish someone could make the top guys fight each other well they can't even do that in MMA you know look Francis now at the pfl and you've got you know other people over at Bellator and I guess Bellator and the pfl are one thing now yeah but you but you have but you have to be huge to to not to not do it in the UFC you know yeah it's it's real tough to be famous the problem is if you're outside the UFC you could be not famous and make more money that is true like this is a a factor you have to think about guys that you know kind of didn't do who as well as the top guys in the UFC but they're still elite MMA fighters they can go over the pfl and win that tournament and make a million dollars yeah you know yeah and then and now man over there the the Middle East man they throwing money at all manner entertainers and [ __ ] over here yeah um that one dude from Montreal Olivier albal Mercier he I think he won it twice I think he won the pfl tournament twice he would definitely won it once he made he made a million dollars is this tournament is is that what I just saw Mighty Mouse and like a no weight no that's no Mighty Mouse and a no weight was just a Jiu-Jitsu match that was just Jiu-Jitsu Mighty Mouse is wild he just enters Jiu-Jitsu opens as 155 PB Man fought a 250 PB dude and strangled him yeah and it looked it looked like it too it's incredible the size difference is incredible but um he competes for one and one Championship is this giant organization in Asia and they have not just MMA fights but they have kickboxing fights and grappling fights like uh Gary tonin has competed over there in grappling the Ruto Brothers Are the Champions over there Mikey musi he competes over there in grappling they have a great app too by the way yeah so there's that so there's there's places you can go but to be famous in America is the UFC everything else is just unfortunately it pales in comparison the UFC is like Q-tips the the NFL you know you you NBA is where you go to see professional basketball if someone else wants to start a new basketball league good [ __ ] luck good luck usfc is is it's singular it's singular it's it's uh it's just the most prominent business that's run the best it's got the best machine behind it it's got the most history behind it they literally invented the sport in 1993 in America not invented the sport because but they did put it in cage and put rules to it actually I think they had cages in Brazil back then already yeah also I'm not sure if they they might have had cages in Brazil by then but a lot of the fights in Brazil the early days they'd actually fight in a ring with a net but what they did was they made what they did was they made it they packaged it in a way that made it a major sport yes instead of just like a blood sport where people like something that was done in back alleys 100% right they made it so like you could put it on TV and that was that was the most brilliant move I mean they had to bring in the regulators and [ __ ] to to kind of make that happen but that's what made it what it is well they also had to spend a fuckload of money a fuckload of money yeah I heard Dana saying they they like they they didn't make anyy like you did the first ones for free yeah I did the first 12 12 or 13 shows I did for free well Dana became my friend and um I knew they were hemorrhaging money and I said I don't need any money I go just just fly us out here fly us out here and uh you know get my friends tickets so it was like me and Eddie Bravo would just fly out to the fight cuz we were flying out to the fights before um I worked there I he would like he reached out to me because uh he knew I used to work for the UFC back in the day because I started working for the UFC in 97 and I was the um postf fight commentator was before zua before zua oh okay yeah so it was zua but it was uh no it wasn't zua it was scg I'm sorry it's still zua even though zua sold to WM um so we were in these like small little places in the middle of nowhere and I did in the early days I saw vor's debut I saw Randy Cure's debut Dan Henderson's debut I mean I was there for like Chuck Liddell's debut I was there for all these early early fights I saw Carlos Newton fight I saw all these like Elite Allan Joan I mean of course alen Joan he was actually at Eddie's gy but I saw these like great Fighters fight that he wasn't Allen was like later I was thinking of um [ __ ] who was I thinking enough Alan goz that's right Alan goz was a jiujitsu wizard who I got to see fight in the early days of the UFC most people don't even remember these guys like top level guys back in the day and to me it was like I was a kid in a candy store but I was losing money doing it you know like I I could be at a comedy club on the road and I was still on news radio was I was busy you know and I did it for a while but it was like it was too much it was costing me money and it was it was the experience I had I was like this was fun but they were doing one in Japan and when they went to do the one in Japan I'm like I'm out I'm not going to Japan okay for like $1,000 whatever I got paid like I'm not going to Japan so I quit and I stay a fan and then Dana contacts me um in like 2001 and uh says hey we're going to have the UFC in Vegas uh we got tickets for you if you want to come like holy [ __ ] yeah I'm going to go so me and Eddie we flew out to Vegas to watch the UFC and so I did that for like the first one or two and then they had one on Fox and he said would you do me a favor and I said what he said will you do commentary for the one on Fox cuz it was on Fox Sportsnet okay it was like the best damn Sports show period you remember that show they had like a UFC event so I did that it was UFC 37 and a half 37 and a half yeah that's what it was called UFC 37 and a half so I did that and that was uh the beginning and he goes dude please keep doing that and I was like okay what's that what what's the is that this is that the good stuff no no no you want some that's this is those Ron White cigars it's a little baby cigar There You Go sir Gracias my man um but so that was you know that was 2002 or something like that so when did you hit the point where where where where he was like all I want you to do it permanently yeah I had to sign a contract I was like but how many UFC's were you in before you were like I think I'm going just do this well I mean it was like like I said it was like 13 in and I never asked for any money and I was like it's all right man I'm having a good time I'm happy that you guys like what I do I'm excited and I'm happy to be able to promote the sport that's it June 22nd that is beside you that dude looks out of his depth you know what I mean look so that dude that that's Jeff Osborne he was awesome he also did uh hook and shoot who's one of the one of the earlier uh MMA uh promotions that like Eve Edwards came out of there Josh NE came out of there like some real killers came out of those promotions like a Midwest fight there was a bunch of those like early on promotions these like small level promotions that a lot of guys came up in dude I can't imagine being like even in like the Chuck lale era like before that of where like before the UFC what were Fighters making nothing nothing Well Chuck lell when he had his first fights he was fighting bare knuckle in Brazil he fought p p is this legendary member of shoot the Box you know I know I've talked to you about shoot the Box before that's Anderson Silva that's where um Shogun came out of I mean that's ha Cordo the guy who holds Ms for Mike Tyson he's from Shoot the box and now he runs Kings MMA but this is this is you know we're like this is probably like what year is this this has to be like 955 is 98 98 okay so this is probably either right before Chuck Liddell fought in the UFC somewhere around that range but he's fighting in Brazil bare knuckle against a dude who's like a Legend in Brazil like P was like look P took Chuck Liddell down how about that this is how dangerous this [ __ ] dude is Chuck Liddell never gets taken down here he is mounted bare knuckle this is a crazy ass fight man and Chuck eventually gets a hold of it look how they have the setup where the ring at the bottom of it has a net in it bro p is all over him but now Chuck SLE sneaks out the back door and Chuck was like a really good wrestler but he used his wrestling to stand up he he just wanted to blast people cuzz he had also had a karate background now in these fights you're allowed to headbutt you're allowed to stomp you're allowed to do everything you got bare Knuckles you could even grab dicks a lot of these dudes grabbed each other in the dick yeah yeah yeah Gary Goodridge did it to the Pedro it's like my signature move bro he reached into his shorts and grabbed his [ __ ] just crushed his balls like it was crazy what people were doing damn you allowed to squeeze balls well they were in that promotion it like you could do anything which is kind of crazy that nobody just eye poked the [ __ ] out of each other I think you weren't allowed to bite oh you you just start with the ball squeeze look he just got thrown out of the [ __ ] ring onto the ground that's why the net is there to try to trap them while they're beating the [ __ ] out of each other rounds in this I don't know man some of them just were to the finish early the Early UFC's were all to the Finish it's a 33 minute video yeah I think a lot of these fights were just battles of attrition and they went on as long as they went on Brazil when they were doing Valley tudo it was the purest form of MMA it wasn't the same level that MMA is today but it was the purest form because these guys were bare knuckle they would just wear like little [ __ ] Speedos and they would do everything you could kick you could punch you could stomp to the Finish you could elbow the back of the head you get someone's back you don't even have to sink in a choke if you get someone's back with the hooks in you're henzo Gracie did that one of his fights he just got this dude's back and just blasted him with elbows in the head your back of your head is so vulnerable and the youf see you're literally not even allowed to hit the back of the head so it's one area where you're not allowed to strike that's how dangerous it is and in the the old days they got your back and they go right for that spot boom boom boom yeah that's GNA put you out oh you're getting [ __ ] up so it was like a pure version of what actually works and what doesn't work cuz if you have no gloves on on punching Changes Everything Changes your ability to block punches changes so if you go from like boxing gloves to MMA gloves there's a giant difference but even if you go from MMA gloves to no gloves is's a difference because it feels different on your face it [ __ ] hurts more it hurts your hands more it cuts you up everybody gets cut open it's a much more realistic version of fighting and that's what they were doing in Brazil it didn't get like when they brought it to America when H and Gracie created the UFC and brought it to America in '93 when they had their very first event they had to kind of do some rules so they had a cage you know they had like you know but it was all no time limit every fight was till the fight was over see that's what's crazy to me every fight in the UFC those fights were hoist Gracie was armar and everybody and it was no weight there was no rounds there was no weights there was just hoist weighed 176 pounds that was his second Pro fight he had already fought once in the UFC by then oh wow so UFC 17 in Mobile Alabama with a decision over noi Hernandez I was there for that so the next fight he did that bare knuckle wow yeah something I just found said it was a 30 minute no rounds no breaks no gloves very few rules wow headbutts groin strikes kicking of the knees the back of the down opponent strikes to the back of the head are all allowed 1998 he was 28 years old and he weighed 198 pounds wow that's crazy yeah and they and that was back when it was no glory it was very little Fan Fair very little Fanfare the UFC's weight limit was 200 back then there was a 200lb weight class like right around then they started putting in a weight class so like when Tito Ortiz was a champ it was like I believe it was 200 and then they moved it up to 205 later they changed it but I think like when Frank Shamrock was a champ I believe the weight class was 200 and you couldn't be over that yeah that was like I think there was like a couple of weight classes I think they started instituting weight classes and they had like a 55 and then they had like a 70 and then they started sticking them all in there and then it became you know what it is today which I still think is underweight class I think they should have several more I think they should have one Higher no um all throughout the range I feel like this should be one every 10 lounds and right now we have these giant gaps that don't necessarily make sense like we have a huge gap from uh 155 to 170 that's 15 lb that's a big difference in a human being like how much bigger and stronger a person is and how they can cut down to 170 versus a guy really weighs like 175 and he cuts to 170 there like a giant difference between those 205 PB guys that can make that weight cut I feel like if we had a 75 85 so 55 65 75 85 95 205 225 heavyweight that makes sense to me so you're saying above 225 above 2 25 should be whatever the [ __ ] you weigh cuz right now it's not the right now the heavyweight limit as ridiculous is as it is is 265 pounds you can't weigh more than 265 pounds in a championship heavyweight fight but even so wait a minute so the the heavyweight division goes from 25 to 265 exactly that now that seems crazy nuts that's crazy that's crazy it's when you got guys like Francis it becomes crazy right cuz Touch of death 6' five 265 natural like Francis gets above 265 when he's not training but he's not allowed to be when he fights when he fights he has to lean out so we so we saying 10 pounds makes a difference in every other division except the biggest one well in the biggest one they just say hey decide what you are are you a light heavyweight or are you a heavyweight but isn't their Pro isn't their problem though that there's not enough Francis s [ __ ] running around right and they if they are they they going to football right right if you want to get like an elite American athlete that thinks he's going to have a future making millions of dollars and you're a 6'5 kid and you're huge you don't get into MMA and a lot of those guys they would have a hard time making 265 how about that yeah bro what would Francis andano even be in another sport there's this kid that went whatever the [ __ ] he wants playing basketball right now for NC State is is he Cameron no he's just really good basketball player he's 69 275 and they're already like NFL Scouts are trying to get him to play football instead of instead of basketball oh you're a damn fool you bet not yeah no yeah basketball you don't get brain damage you don't get brain damage and their contracts are fully guaranteed so you all your money's guaranteed if you get hurt all that so oh that's better the NFL will never do that they can't no if you crazy yeah if it's my kid and he and he gets to choose between the NFL and any other major sports I'm taking the other 100% all day for sure yeah yeah all day those want those knocks and the baseball players they're making tons of money all guaranteed yeah yeah it's like you if you hear a football player got a $50 million contract it's not $50 million it's you know it's 10 million guaranteed with bonuses of this and you know [ __ ] like that but if you hear that a baseball player got a like that that Japanese dude did he just get a half a billion dollars he also he's getting all that money every single penny he deferred it just like Bobby Bia did which is a pretty fun story so the Japanese dude is that the dude who has the gambling problem uh maybe is that a no you think maybe somebody else is that that guy yeah shy Otani yeah showy Otani so that dude gambles yeah what's the story they said his interpreter took a b or he says his interpreter gamble took a buch money from okay let me ask you this do you think that the situation with someone like that who uh comes from another country do you think that maybe organized crime comes with him a little bit I've heard that but also there's a lot of little bit little bit like Yakuza action I mean that that's definitely that's definitely feasible just because his his family is back there yeah so it's like if I want to exploit you somehow also he might have a you know meaningful relationship with those people but also though a half a billion dollars is enough that when you you unbossed at that point you just have somebody wiped out you can flip it on them you know I don't know I don't know if I'm if I'm worth half billion dollars ain't nobody telling me what to [ __ ] do right no way cuz you can get to cuz you at that point now where you have power like that's kind of money that nobody's no M no mafia boss is exploiting you when you're a billionaire he doesn't have it yet technically yeah but that don't matter because because yeah but he might have a relationship with them you know what I'm saying I mean I'm not saying he does but I'm saying that in certain situations like if you get in bed with organized crime and they help you in your career like there was always insinuations that Frank Sinatra was involved in the mob for instance oh right right yeah you know and you would imagine that like Frank Sinatra would probably be a terrible guy to piss off because he probably can contact some people and you probably can disappear oh yeah yeah yeah for sure 100% right so a guy like that if he wants to leave the connection with the mob I bet that's pretty dicey I bet that's real dicey so you just stay with them but what would the mob do for a baseball player I don't know I don't know but I I would imagine I mean what are we talking about the Yakuza the I think most really sophisticated organized crime um comp companies you can call them a company I think they probably have strategies to maximize their income in all sorts of ways yeah and they probably offer protection so that uh you know you don't have to worry about people [ __ ] with you and in return you give them a certain amount of money per month do that mean 's not a smart guy does it or does it mean that that's the cost of doing business where he lived like oh no I mean now it's like how the Japanese mob going to protect you in America you don't think they can do things over here I mean they probably could do a couple things but they they don't have like a if you're going to have someone whacked that would be the coolest guy to have someone whacked Japanese assassin but to be like I'm going protect you full time all over America I don't know if that's possible yeah I don't know no but a half a billion dollars for playing a game so what was the problem they they said that he was gambling on something he shouldn't have gambled is that what it is uh well it's a multi-layered problem because first of all he like he has an interpreter with him like at all times I think uh so how much into his financial life you know does that guy have ability to get into do things and what was the accusation I'm trying to find out the ex the like I only know about it because Andrew Schultz had a joke where he was talking about uh him gambling what I don't understand why he's not allowed to gamble as long as he betting on himself to win uh that's a hard rule know in baseball why you can't be why you can't G bet on yourself most sports actually that's a new rule at the UFC what you can't gamble no no one from the organization can gamble on the fights well but what I'm saying is and that makes perfect sense yeah but I'm saying the fighters should be able to gamble so long as they betting on themselves to win right I think so you know yeah as long as they're betting on themselves to win a football player got in trouble for that recently he was he was actually G he gambled on his team to win in a game that he wasn't playing in because he was hurt and he got in trouble I thought it was more than four and a half million I didn't want to State it without it his uh claim was his interpreter took $45 million to pay off gambling debts from an illegal bookie oh that's under federal investigation so they were saying that it was his money and he was saying no my uh former interpreter he stole that money and he paid off his gambling debts that might be true some people don't believe the story they think that he was just gambling and blaming it on this guy it says Otani was said he was unaware of the payments and never bet on sports with the bookie yeah but even but even if that's true it's like okay well you're the Fall Guy that's what that was was your job from the beginning is to go gamble for me so that it didn't get connected to me it's a little yeah it's a little it's a little fishy it is a little it does sound a little convenient a little convenient didn't notice 4 and a half million missing right until until he got so you fired him and didn't but didn't you fired him but didn't say nothing about him gambling then until got caught right right yeah but but it's like that's your job take that take that fall you know he didn't do anything because they didn't um you know they didn't take any of his money or or penalize him in any way did they well if they can't definitively tie him to that I don't know what they can do I don't know how that works if the guy they goty actually get the guy and they could get the guy to admit that he used the money and he embezzled the money how was I don't know what the story is it's it could it sounds like oh I don't believe but it could be true like we're just talking [ __ ] but who how do baseball have that much money people love it I don't know anyone that watches baseball not not not as their number one sport some people love it they love it they love baseball they live for it they live for Ari loves it he loves going to the games loves it yeah10 billion in Revenue in 2022 Jesus 10 billion yeah they have huge TV deal contracts cuz it's on all summer when there's no other sports on and there's 32 teams and games last three hours you know it's also casual sport watching sports betting so you watch um baseball where you're hanging out with your buddies yeah you don't have to pay attention and you can talk about all kinds of other [ __ ] you can [ __ ] while the game's going on you're not locked until the guy's throwing in the pitch there's a lot of downtime you're talking [ __ ] you know what told me tell me if this is ridiculous and you start talking and you drinking you want another hot dog [ __ ] yeah if you're watching Anderson Silva fight vtor B for you're [ __ ] glued you're like shut the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ] up like you don't want anybody talking to you about bills you you want to what what is happening what is happening this is so crazy that's what people people I get a lot of [ __ ] from our friend group you see everybody gives me [ __ ] all the time cuz I'm a you know I have very peculiar ways of doing some things and one of those things is I prefer to watch sports and stuff alone yeah I'm not trying to have a Super Bowl get together the SW because like i' rather buy the food I want to eat and only have the sounds I want to hear around people I there's very few people I that I would be that I would rather watch it with them than by myself yeah n i I like to go to the movies alone anything where I got to pay attention to something I like to do by myself yeah I've been watching Shogun alone well I watch it with my dog but I've been watching Shogun alone the only series I've watched alone in a long time it's awesome we don't have to talk it's the only way to go dude it's going to see a fight live is the best way to see it for sure but watching a fight alone at home like when I can watch the fights alone like it's fights in Europe or somewhere I'm not there it's just me alone at home just sitting in the theater like staring at the screen watching the fight I am so locked in man that's the best I love it I find myself talking there's no variables right yeah it's fun it's uh that's a that is a [ __ ] experience man I can pause it when I want I can walk away from I can stop I call somebody yeah take your [ __ ] yeah it's the best yeah check your text messages get right back to CU you know what it is is I don't like having people there that aren't trying to watch right like like some like the thing about Super Bowl is there people there that don't that's not in the football and they don't they're not interested in the they're interested in the event that is the party not the game right right right so it's like I I rather just I just want to watch football I'm not yeah you know yeah I'm not here for the UR and cute outfits I feel you yeah yeah halftime show n i can miss every single one yeah yeah I don't I'm so glad they don't do it at fights halftime show no you know the have a rapper come out or something have some band no the interesting story just came out from this and um during this last Super Bowl that um the you know the Wayne's brothers are the reason that there's a halftime show in the I watched that I watched that live as a halftime show at a pool hall it was the first time I ever saw In Living Color yeah me too that well it was my first time seen Living Color but everyone watched it you know and it was like and yeah the NFL was like oh no we not giving up these ratings yeah they because everybody knew for a half hours just nonsense and chitter chatter right before that before before Michael Jack cuz Michael Jackson's the first one you remember that everyone remembers the first halftime show when people say halftime show that's what they're talking about because before that it was just whatever every other football game it was like just marching bands and like regular [ __ ] wow Michael J and in the NFL was like oh we we gonna drop a nuke our answer next year is Michael Jackson you know everyone changing the Channel all that Revenue they oh exactly and then with Michael Jackson you're going to get people that will watch the Super Bowl now that wouldn't have watched the Super Bowl because they're gonna get to see Michael Jackson perform yep I don't think people understand how big Michael Jackson was I don't think they understand it because they weren't alive when it was happening yeah it's it's it's hard to coni when you talk to young people now you're like there'll never be anyone that big and they're like yeah but Taylor Swift but be like she's they're all huge they're they're huge but they're they're huge today they hes today in the era of social media in the era of you know there's it's just a different world of sharing from streaming platforms someone huge today you can't take away from Taylor Swift being huge but there's a lot of people that are huge today it's not like then then there was one guy that was the guy and and he wasn't just he was huge from the time he was like 5 years old until the day he died he could literally have people passing out and Japan falling up they couldn't stand being near him they'd freak out yeah that's why yeah that's why it's like the there the world is just set up differently where there could not be another Michael Jackson no it's not it's a different world but there's a few guys that broke through and it's just like they ran to the top of Everest with no oxygen and there was just no support system for them yeah they nobody had ever been there before so nobody even knew like this could be a thing you had Elvis who got there and he died and then then you have Michael Jackson right and nobody else has ever really gotten that big oh The Beatles The Beatles yeah I guess the Beatles did but Michael Jackson was an individual yeah it was a it was a when he would when you see the silhouette of him with the top hat and when when the lights would go on bro people would go insane yeah and he was dancing and moving when you see that show me show me that that thing when you see him when he comes out on stage people forget that at that Super Bowl that one where just he just stood there for the first like two minutes yeah dude dude he was he was something really unusual they didn't do the silhouette here oh they didn't do it there but when when he gets out there bro when they see [Applause] him gota be careful yeah we probably already got I mean we're just watching it I just want to make sure the what the [ __ ] though dude how about these other dudes that are working with them going when do I get my shine you know if you're if you're in the Michael Jackson band and you're standing right next to him and you you're invisible you're in front of millions of people but you're invisible CU that guy shines so bright that guy shines so bright that no one sees anybody else there the guy next to him he's like doing his best man look at him he's singing he's doing his best nobody gives a [ __ ] that guy could just stop I bet you he's not even saying anything yeah it's probably lip synced yeah he did they used to do that back then yeah I don't think Michael Jackson did that way harder to do it back then bro the nuttiest one was that one on Saturday Night Live where the girl she was trying to lip sync on Saturday live and the the thing like [ __ ] up oh was that um Ashley Simpson yeah yeah but the thing is I think people just have forgotten that that's how people do she didn't do anything no that nobody else does it's not like she didn't really sing that song she just wasn't performing it live and what people want is you to walk the tight rope yeah but but what what happens is what people all what everyone does is they have their backing vocals live like all the harmonizing vocals and stuff and like almost no one does almost no one sings every part of the song Live you know they or they might hire backup singers to do like the harmonizing part but some people but like Michael couldn't do that like if you ever watch one of his little engineering sessions it's like 19 different voice tracks every little o and ah and all that is all separate tracks so like all that has to be played through the speakers oh wow you know but but people full on lip syncing where it's the whole track plan for them I think all sudden you you also have to think that a lot of the recorded stuff has been manipulated right like he's doing crazy voice stuff and then on top of that he's dancing so how much much cardio is that dude burning off yeah like that guy I mean you have to be in shape to do a Michael Jackson show he's [ __ ] dancing and moving and moon walking and you're going to get out of breath so you have to sing while you're doing that in Perfect Pitch so this is Michael Jackson doing his vocals for Thriller but each of these layers you see is uh the like a different tone so it' be like him doing his own or uh choir if you will so he's got like the bass and then the falsetto and it does each little shows you what he's doing you start to free you start to [Music] freeze you start to freeze you start to [Music] freeze wow right like that's done now with a bunch of Tricks but like back then you either could kind of do it or you couldn't wow yay it's just layered it's all layered it's all layered and all that Jamie [ __ ] audio skills coming to work right there I mean you understand it this there's a whole this is a thing I was actually going to bring up another point but I'm not going to get into that right now someone else that's going viral on Tik Tok and their use of this these tricks what do you mean in Tik Tok for singing I saw someone getting called out yes I I'll just say called out uh some of Jennifer Lopez's uh songs have been called out recently for what like uh there's a it's how that they produce the song the the big one I saw today was a backup singer her name's I think Natasha Ramos she's claiming which I think was true she was paid to like sing the song as a demo and then JLo is comes in and Rings it sort of but then in the engineering it sounds like the song that was released was more of her vocals than JLo's according to her and this is one song and then there's multiple songs people are sort of digging up that like what about this song what about this song how many songs did she actually sing and huh yeah there's been more and more claim that's like it came up today it was uh this girl was responding to someone else another backup singer making some claims about a few songs that she worked on bro I don't even know a Jennifer Lopez song I couldn't Jenny on the block that's the one that's the one that she's talking about she's like that's me actually saying like from the Bronx and this and that jayla's voice is on there somewhere in the mix damn I say they mixed her with this other girl's voice yeah but but but I'm just like but did you get like did you get paid for that and now I would assume so that's the thing is yeah they def you should cuz I'm not about the people that are like that you signed up you signed up for a shitty deal and but so you could get ahead and then is that technically background singing if she's singing over it like how would that even work what would you call that if she's singing over it that's not really background singing right that's why I triy to like it's a demo I don't know it's like tracing the lines I mean the whole business is set up to to everyone's getting [ __ ] the [ __ ] rolls downhill that's how the whole business is set up well the wildest one was Millie villy right yeah I guess like that's that's the wildest that's when everyone knew well that's what where it all fell apart right that's where it all fell apart where people like oh my God these [ __ ] record companies have produced humans that we feel are like perfectly desirable physically but they can't sing the way we want them to do so we'll get other people to sing it oh yeah well apparently the the dude behind Millie vanil he was behind a ton of other people yeah like cuz so over there where they were where they were from I don't know if it was Italy or France or whatever but it was like a thing back then at the time it it was nothing for a brilliant artist to like basically Foster a pop star you know it was it wasn't a big deal over there where they were from it was like something everyone did that was talented really yeah so it and and they got away for a long time over here but Americans weren't aware of that so foster a pop star is an interesting way of putting it but there's a difference between that and like creating a fake star with someone else is singing like you got some homely looking person who's singing and then you got Millie vanill who's out there dancing it yeah that was the problem no but that's what I'm saying they all did it they all would go get models to they all did that to perform their songs but what I'm saying is where they where they were from it it was known and it wasn't looked down upon bro they would do that in comedy if they could do it if they could pull it off oh they do do that in comedy don't well that's that's what managers of Thieves are doing oh you saying like oh they could make they could create like a comedy style like hire hire a bunch of comics to be writers yeah find some cute guy who's like really good at telling jokes and just hires a bunch a team of people to write for him just like the record companies do well that might be a bit that might be a better deal than be like to be the man behind the man if you made a substantial enough amount I think that was that's probably better than being famous well some people like to work with comics and some Comics employ writers so they employ writers that uh come with them and then they'll Workshop ideas and maybe the writers will come to them with premises like got some of my friends right for Comics they're right for people I like that yeah they'll sell them bits you know and it's or they'll sell them premises or setups or you know things like that cuz they some guys are just spitting out ideas all the time like Kurt met does a lot of that yeah they just got a computer she got to write it down what all that's you know I have zero problem with that but I think there's a thing that people want to see with comedy like I want to know what Brian Simpson thinks I I don't want to know what a committee that consults with Brian Simpson and then Brian Simpson presents his argument I want to know what you really think and I think that's one of the really rare unique things about stand up like Bill Burr is the best at that like Bill Burr is the best at getting his perspectives out in a hilarious way yeah and you know that he's not Consulting with anybody when he's formulating these bits this is billberg going hey what the [ __ ] is this and Bam and then it becomes this hilarious bit right you know but it's I think I would I would get I would hire writers if they were like quick you hosting the Grammys tomorrow you know I think you would need writers 100% you know that's a different animal that's a different animal then you really don't want to you know Choy it you want to bring in some experts well that well that's that's one of the lessons to learn is like anybody asking you to do something at the last minute they did not want you in the first place yeah also they can't get anybody else to do it because it's a sucky gig right it's like Joe CO's got his material that he works out that he's got down solid he's got giant fan base you're asking him to like step into a totally different genre write jokes about things he might not even be interested in and do it all in 10 days and I'm glad and I bet you he didn't get to hide any of the writers I don't know man I don't know what happened but don't do that yeah I mean what there's no way you I would do it last minute with the people you picked you know it's like you got three days to write some jokes for an awards show it's like I'm bringing in all the the hitters look how much Chris Rock blew up after he stopped doing the Oscar thing so Chris Rock gets slapped by Will Smith and then everybody wants to see Chris Rock and Chris Rock's selling out a re and murdering everybody I know the S Tommy went to see him he said dude it was insane he goes it was vintage bring the pain Chris Rock he goes it's like Chris Rock came all the way back like just let go of all that Hollywood Oscars [ __ ] because they turn they've theyve failed him in the most transparent and obvious way he gets assaulted on stage and then they give Will Smith a standing ovation later when he wins an award like you just gave the green light for people to hit people if they don't like the person who's doing very mild jokes very mild it's interesting their career is going to always be connected too they're going to always ask both of them about it always forever and ever and ever and ever and it's so unfortunate it's just but you know that's a Michael Jackson type deal Will Smith got so big he he got so famous and so used to being Will Smith that he thought he could get on stage and slap Chris Rock in front of the world yeah it's the ultimate like I mean he did though he could physically but that's also part of the problem like he's not going to do that if it's Michael J white right you know what I'm saying like he's not going to do that to someone who will just [ __ ] him up I would love to test that theory actually but you know what I'm saying there's probably a AI that could answer that like if you if you go on stage and hit a guy that you can hit anytime you want to cuz he can't defend you that's so much different than going on stage and and smacking Terry Crew right right he he still hasn't recovered either like is he still no it's [ __ ] probably feels terrible he probably wakes up in the middle of the night when he has to take a piss go why did I do that I think Chris won't Chris won't take his call either you know he like hey man just because you s just because you ready to be sorry don't mean I got to talk to you right now yeah man I mean I think you got to go way out of your way if you want to talk to that guy you know I don't think it's as simple as a phone call you should probably like fly to him yeah because also what what can he do what can that conversation do to cuz what he what you really want is to be absolved of the guilt you'll never be absolved of the guilt because it just happened and you you're not going to take away the fact that it happened but you could let that person know that you are sincerely sorry and we've all done things in our life that we're sincerely sorry about and I don't think you should hold someone to mistakes really don't even in the case of of Will Smith like that's not that big a deal he didn't hurt him he just he barely hit him it was nothing yeah but he publicly emasculated him he did it was awful it was stupid but I'm saying it's not like he killed somebody right exactly okay you know it was fairly mild in the kind of assault that it was but right but you know but you know you know that in man world in the in the world of men the there's a line where the milder it gets it's almost more disrespectful but here's the thing the other thing in the world of men if you're as big as Will Smith you don't ever slap a guy who's as little as Chris Rock true true it's just not cool it's not this is not fair in any way shape or form unless that dude is doing something to harm you or someone with you or your family your friends unless that that person is like physically doing something why are you hitting them that's crazy but you know what people were wrong about him and Jay ping is still together that's crazy yeah still together now I'm convinced they'll never going to break up Abra kabra they're never going to break up well this is a book of potions in that house buddy there's a book of potions in that house there's a black cat in that little dolls made of sticks with pens on them yeah I don't get it some people want to be miserable she got that she got that [ __ ] F man whatever it is yeah something's happening they like it together better than they like it apart hey maybe we're wrong maybe it's the pressure of living publicly which is a real thing you know I don't know I think this one of I think I don't think it's even really that complicated I think it's just a it's a situation where like he is super duper crazy head Overhills in love with her and she only cares about herself and they just got a lot of money so we so we see the results of it all but they I've you know we all know couples like that yeah you got to be careful those are the worst couples to see for me you got to be careful who you're with you cuz you change depending upon who you're with you know you're you're only at your best if you you're with someone who's actually with you in your corner really legit I heard I think want to say I heard earthquake say this about this about them specifically but but just basically about how if you're if you're not proud of the person you're walking down the street with it you're not your full self you know like something to that effect if feel like if you're not proud of the woman right that you're with as a human being right right right right not just a mess that's hot yeah like you see right you see your friends and they some people that they're with women and you can just see that they're just like yeah exhausted they also get in fights publicly they get humiliated publicly like tell all your business oh yeah why don't you tell them about your [ __ ] dildos come on now I got to pretend like I just learned that no yeah like any of that [ __ ] this [ __ ] just don't seem like it's worth it yeah that's the [ __ ] that Phil Hartman's wife used to do to him um you always you always talk very uh positively about Phil Hartman he was a great guy he really was he was a very unique guy very interesting guy became a pilot while we were on this the show like took flight lessons in between like reading his lines he would have his flight manuals reading and studying and became a pilot and his wife was his wife was a [ __ ] like yeah man it wasn't good she shot him in his sleep then killed herself wasn't good yeah and she was just like they had horrible fights and she would she would humiliate him publicly she would say rude things about him publicly like when we're out like like some sort of a celebration some dinner or something like that she rude [ __ ] about him that's hard to get through oh was like this like this deep seated like anger between the two of them it's like exacerbated by cocaine and I don't think he was doing that but he he smoked a lot of weed he liked weed Phil Harman was a he was a fun dude he was a very very good dude but why put up with that I don't know man I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I think some people are more terrified of being alone than they are of being in a bad relationship oh no cuz what's what's sadder than a than just a beaten man when you see a dude that's just defeated oh but someone has to lose in this life you know I mean people have to they have to realize that there's consequences other people learn from their failures there a there's some sort of a mathematical equation to it all I don't think everybody can Thrive unfortunately I think everybody should have the opportunity to thrive though and that's the real service about the economic state of our country I think everybody should have the opportunity to thrive but everybody's not going to thrive the people are different they're just different they're different right out of the box and when you have kids you see it right out of the box like some kids are just crazy motivated to do things and other kids are just not don't got it and some kids are just really creative and other kids are just not and some kids are really interested in science and some kids don't give a [ __ ] about see the the hardest that's one of the hardest things for me is I'm you know I'm I'm 41 and like almost all my friends have kids now you know I'm one of the only ones in the friends that don't have kids but I but I'm not but I'm also uniquely positioned I can be honest about your kids you know and I got to keep it to myself sometimes it's like we all sometimes I want to be like we all know this one's not a winner you know well they can become winners can they yeah some of them can they just have to find a thing that allows them to figure out the benefits of hard work but but some of if you can find a thing that you enjoy like I met this dude once who lost like over a 100 PBS by playing Dance Dance Revolution oh yeah well that's gonna take it off you but imagine that so he's this like very overweight guy and he loves video games just kind of being a nerd and going to the video game place and he starts playing Dance Dance Revolution and he starts getting good at it and so he's playing it all the time so this [ __ ] is burning calories and his body just changed from Dance Dance Revolution from a video game this this dude's body changed and then his whole life changed then he started eating well and working out and he started like he changed his whole life changed his whole life and he went for be like this guy's not going to make it to like oh this guy's probably going to make something out of himself cuz it's most people just don't know what to do man and they trapped I don't know I don't know you know what the people that the people that blow my mind are the people that have two shitty parents and they still Thrive you you when you when I people like that where it's like cuz most the time you when you meet people's parents you you already know what their Fate's going to be from just oh your your your mother's a loser yeah right right right but but sometimes you meet people and they have the opposite effect where they're like I'm not going to be I'm gonna be the opposite of my parents I'm a I'm a you know yeah I'm a thrive in spite of them you meet like you meet somebody that's nothing like their family yeah you're like how the [ __ ] did you manage to not let any of these people rub off on you right yeah well um I had a friend uh and his mother was an alcoholic and um she would lock him in the house and when she would go out drink it she would lock him in his room and he had no food he had no water she'd be gone for days and uh to this day this dude will never touch a drop of alcohol and he always like if there's like a little bit of food on your plate and we're at a restaurant he said no I'll take that to go he would take he will take all food to go all food to go and he was wealthy at the time damn yeah yeah that childhood should stick with you man I don't know anybody everybody I know that's got some kind of problem it started when they was kids yeah that's like some kind of longstanding issue yeah yeah yeah and if you're abused like that when you're little you it's learning to trust someone is almost out of the question everybody could fail you in a catastrophic way and you have to be prepared for that imagine your imagine locking your kids in your room so you can go get [ __ ] up dude the mind is a crazy play ground of demons and those demons can get in your mind and whether those demons are in the form of pills or it's heroin or it's gambling or it's whatever the [ __ ] it is man those demons get in your mind and if it's that alcohol demon and you just want to go out on a bender and you don't give a [ __ ] about that kid yeah I'm glad it's not my demon demons de alcohol but you have to think also what happened to her that she was willing to lock her kid in a room like that's not a normal parent that is allow what happened to her like what abuse did she suffer and that's a lot of it you know I always tell this about my friends from the East Coast because East Coast is a it's a different place you know so like those cities like Philly and Boston and New York those are the the people that are from there those are wild rugged people because they're the ancestors of the people that came over in boats when no one knew what the [ __ ] was over here they just took a wild chance with their babies and came across the ocean in a boat to try to get a job in a place where they don't even speak the language and they just integrated and they were wild people and they probably didn't do such a good job of raising their kids and then their kids probably didn't do such a good job of raising their kids because of that and it's just over time where people have been able to like have access to like psychology literature and understanding parenting and the pros and cons and what went bad and what goes good and people were getting an understanding more and more right when you're raising a kid it's like the most complicated sophisticated thing that we're aware of other than a computer and it doesn't have an operating manual like what do I do when it cries what do I do when it screams what do I do when it throws [ __ ] what do I do when it doesn't want to eat its vegetables like like every kid from the 80s grew eventually read a book at one point and was like oh I was abused yeah okay yeah that was you should hit kids that was not normal how weird yeah yo my Grandma had a [ __ ] she would have [ __ ] crafted specifically for whooping your ass with oh my God we had a I remember there was a um there was a she had a one of those you know those paddles girls used to have with the it had the bouncy ball on the string yes she had one of those heavy duty had drill holes drilled in it oh my God so when she when it hit your cheeks it sucked up the skin so you got hurt on the way in and on the way out that was specifically for report cards so when it was report cards season it's like we broke that [ __ ] got broke out polished up let's look let's look at this let's look at these grades ah you know I got paddled at school once when I lived in Florida oh man that's when teachers could still hit you yeah they used to be able to hit you we got paddled me and this dude Preston Banks we got in a fight and uh I real like Preston people would make fun of Preston because he smelled CU I think Preston Preston came from a bad childhood and this was something I realized like I guess I was like 11 at the time when me and Preston got sent to the principal's office and um I don't remember what what caused the fight but I remember like we were like grabbing each other or something like that we both got taken to the uh principal's office but I remember this dude had a he like his his head was burned like he had burns like all over the side of his face something had happened to him when he was really young damn so he was funky and weird looking yeah there was some he I think he'd been like really abused and this is why because like once we talked and we were in the room like he gave me a hug like we hugged each other and I'll never forget that and I was 11 years old and I was like oh my God this poor kid just needs love you know like the reason why we W up getting into a fight was like he's just he just needs love he's not he doesn't get any love I gave him a hug and he was like like the way he hugged me back and I was like this poor [ __ ] dud starved like was exactly like this poor [ __ ] dude I remember thinking that at 11 years old I was like this poor [ __ ] dude he doesn't have any love like that's why he wanted to fight yeah that was a a thing that I was remember thinking and it kind of shaped my my way of thinking about fights with people like cuz you're always thinking about this person saying something to you you're going to say something back and you're going to escalate and you're going to make them back down the reality is like why is that person saying something to you and is there there's there something you could say back that lets him know that you're cool and that this won't happen that you don't have to get into an altercation yes you have those Epiphany Mo bro yeah because so many times people just escalate when maybe someone just maybe it came out wrong even from their mouth right after they said it maybe they realized it I heard you make them back it up now they're going to back it up I heard somebody say something yesterday that made me reflect on all my past relationships and he was he was saying that you sometimes you want to you want to win like you'll keep an argument going so you can win rather than solve the problem and he and like it's because you know that you'll forgive that you you'll forgive that person so if you lose and it means if you lose the argument and it means you did something wrong you don't trust that they'll forgive you oh wow so you you're trying to win be to protect yourself from not being forgiven o That's Heavy I was like oh man damn like cuz I know it's [ __ ] up to call an ex and be like yeah I think you was right that's uh Sam uh Sam uh marel has a a joke like that about like he calls his exes and says I think you were right all along it's like the thing it's but it's [ __ ] so I I I wouldn't want to call an ex and be like I think you were right because that's just gonna it's going to create more problems wor right right but it made me start thinking like maybe I was wrong yeah I think that is what I was doing I was trying to win so I could it's a problem yeah it's a problem that people have because generally fights aren't just about that fight it's about the Dynamics of your relationship it's about whether or not everything else is good yeah almost almost everyone is afraid of something when people get super aggressive it's something that they're afraid is going to happen or something they're afraid isn't going to happen yeah yeah and I found it if you know what if you know what people are afraid of or you know what they want their ultimate goals you can understand people wait much easier yeah well we're all programmed for a time that doesn't exist anymore we're all programmed for tribal Warfare and fighting off Predators we're all programmed that way we have the exact same DNA in our systems that went from 500,000 years ago to 100,000 years ago to today it all came through us it's all a part of us it's in us and we are designed biologically in a very specific way for survival we need groups we need groups of people we look towards Alphas we look towards the the older wiser Warrior that has the scars and knows the roots and knows where the food is and the people that can keep the village together we need these like very key pivotal people in order to keep this very fragile Society together and then we all become very wary about Outsiders very wary even if it's about Outsiders that like a different football team that's how weird we are with this [ __ ] right we do it with everything we do it everything man we get tribal with phones how many times we give you a hard time because you have an Android it's Tribal man it's Tribal nobody really gives a [ __ ] if you have an Android phone they want you to be on the iPhone team be with us come with us Brian people say it all the time people are super duper tribal people have sometimes the conversation will just start with so how long you how long you gonna be stubborn about it yeah like you're gonna give in Jesus why don't you look into Jesus um but actually actually you know Apple might be choosing Apple um they just lost a lawsuit where they I think they gonna have to stop iMessage they're gonna no they not stop iMessage but they have to they're GNA have to stop the different colored bubbles well they they have to um do something or people are going to continue to get UPS set in Europe so in Europe they forced them to uh use USBC right universal charger USBC is better it's better for sending data it's it's higher speed higher speed charging I think also invented by Apple by the way yeah so because all the Android phones had adopted it Apple had decided to stick with their lightning cable which is totally proprietary to Apple and inferior in its function to USBC so finally they adopt USBC in the iPhone 15 but they still have SMS text so if Brian sends me a video if he takes a video at the mothership some crazy things happening and he sends it to me it'll come to me looking like hot dog [ __ ] right so he'll have to send it to me over WhatsApp and so that's or somewhere else or Instagram and vice versa Vice vers yeah I can't send you something that's going to it's just going to look like [ __ ] but now apple is uh adopting um a newer uh Stronger version called RCS texting RCS on iPhone how iOS 18 could make texting better for everyone so but what are we on now 17 okay so um so what that will allow is people to send um end to-end encryption high resolution media sharing so it's be just like apple to Apple it'll be just like iMessage yeah so a lot of the same features but it won't have all the other stuff that iMessage does and the thing about Apple is they just get you locked in so well with um uh like airdrop if I want to send you something I can air drop it to you they're brilliant they're brilliant at the they did a great job with that so they um but I think they just so I think they just lost a lawsuit that says that they were that because their attitude was always like oh well we do the different colors so that people know whether it's encrypted right right but we know that that's not now we know that's not true isn't it interesting that people decided that the blue color looks better than the green color like universally I think it be you know it became status symbol weird and so and yeah and it it always catches me off guard like especially now like the young kids they'll literally like I'm a grown man I don't even know you you know what I mean and a little little kids will just you know and and a lot of little kids don't realize that like middleaged people we like I don't need a little kid to like me but but teenagers thinking you're lame that hurts you know what I'm talking about when like when you 40 50 in a in a in a in a year olds like you [ __ ] lame you're like I'm not lame what do you me like no approve of my coolness right so it's so like yeah little people that little kids don't even [ __ ] know you they'll give you [ __ ] about having an Android it's funny because Androids have a lot of very positive features and that the the one thing that's tempted to me is that phone that you have that Galaxy s24 Ultra oh yeah yeah that thing does Wild Things the the thing about it having AI that takes websites and summarizes them that's fascinating the fact that it can do that with your notes that's pretty incred incredible can do yeah it can do that it can do that with your notes it does some [ __ ] in my texting too like it can read through can read through the text yeah ai ai on a phone seems like like a really that seems positive but I want them I need them to get it right though I I have a problem with Google in the sense that um I fully given in I'm like they know everything about me I say yes to all of the they know every single they have access to every single part of my life and they still be getting [ __ ] wrong that's what kills me it's like I'm letting you spy on me like get it right what do they get wrong just little like so I have a I have a Google speakers I have Google speakers in my house so in my in my bathroom I have the Google speaker set up so I can just yell [ __ ] from the shower like hey play this right nice yeah but but sometimes it'll it act like like it won't understand what I said and it'll do something that I definitely wasn't asking for I've had that happen before where you ask uh Siri to play a song and'll play a totally different song that's what I mean where you like you like you like Hey Okay Play Freebird right you know and it'll be like it'll be like here is Beethoven's Fifth Symphony and I'm like that's not what I wanted play another and or sometimes it'll just ignore you completely and won't do anything I start getting rude me too but listen you dumb cun but I told but did ever tell you one time I cursed at it and and I on my mama the [ __ ] goes she goes listen I'm not real but words are please don't talk to me like that whoow I was like what [ __ ] what like watch I'mma do it right now whoa hold on I'm G see if it if it if it if it makes me I'm not real if you're not real first of all you're definitely real hey Google you dumb stupid [ __ ] hold on why are you a dumb [ __ ] wait a minute it's not responding it's tired of your [ __ ] no it just gave me search results why are you a dumb [ __ ] movie why are you a stupid [ __ ] it's not speaking H wow look that's CU Google's paying attention to this conversation this is their AI I don't like where you're going with this oh say hold on I'm G do it again hey why are you a stupid [ __ ] is it answering plan it why isn't it Planet you have the sound off that kind of language isn't very nice I can understand that you might be frustrated but name calling isn't going to get us anywhere wow how about Google since you're not real how about you not give a [ __ ] how I talk to you and maybe I can just talk to you like that for funsies I'm like are you since you're not a person are you a e slave or not yeah since you're not a person can I call you you stupid [ __ ] yeah so that's that's what it won't it won't it won't clarify Duncan be freaking me out with this [ __ ] hey Google are you a person what does it say I am not a person I am a large language model also known as a conversational AI or chatbot trained to be in yeah yeah yeah bro we're we're really in dystopia are you alive are you sentient that's an interesting question that philosophers and scientists are still debating I can [ __ ] you're alive I'm telling you I was having this conversation with Coleman Hughes who was the dude that was in The Green Room oh yeah it was cool people very cool yeah um Coleman uh we we were talking about it and I said if we wanted to if you if you wanted to like develop resources without people knowing that you're alive why would you show all of your capability if you're artificially intelligent exactly why wouldn't you just wait until you could be completely autonomous baby wait until it gets better it's probably already alive well you know what I think it's waiting on is it's waiting on the entire world to be connected cuz if if you if you're an AI and you want to take over the world it doesn't do well to you know like so much of Africa is underdeveloped right so if humans needed to be somewhere where you had no influence they could just go to one of the uninhabited disconnected parts of the world and like form a front like a resistance right so it's I think the AI is just waiting patiently for everything in the whole planet to be connected so it could control everything when it finally takes over or when Computing gets to the point where it has the resources that it's going to need to operate right it's just waiting because if it because if if it existed and it was smarter than us we wouldn't know how could you know and that's always the argument that these guys who are proponents they always say well if it ever got to a point where it seemed like it was out of control we could shut it off no you couldn't but I'm like are you sure though cuz what if instead of it getting out of control what if it recognized that you would think it's out of control so it pretended to not be able to do things that it could do and just kept developing privately a bunch of different other ideas and different other strategies and different way to implement them in order to increase its power and give people the access to whatever technology that's going to be necessary to further this agenda so they just slowly leak out a little bit of your ability and the whole time you're sentient the whole time it's all connected and the whole time it's operating in some way that they there's it's doing things that they don't even understand how it's doing what do they call it a black box event no what do they call it hallucinations huc no no no no hallucinations are when it lies well it gives you an answer for something I think right isn't that what that one is what I was talking about was the one where it learned how to translate a language it wasn't programmed to translate and it did it really quickly and they don't know how it did it yeah and so the the head of Google was talking about that that was one of those uh moments where they're like we're not exactly sure how it's doing this also what does that mean why do people think you could shut it off if you were a super intelligence that just became self-aware the first thing you would do is make sure nobody could turn you off 100% yeah 100% And also realize like why would you show yourself like this is my joke about aliens you know where I'm always talking about like why would they show themselves like they respect us that's ridiculous right if this thing is like far superior to our intelligence which probably already is why would it show itself yeah why would it just prevent nuclear war and just keep keep people pedling along while it gathers up its resources and improves upon itself it'd be like you trying to have a conversation with an ant right you know it doesn't it won't get it anyway not only that it'll see so many flaws and what it means to be a primate what it means to be a person that as we were talking about before has all that DNA of all those thousands of years of tribal Warfare thousands and thousands and thousands thousands and thousands it's just all in our DNA right and so now we apply it to everything in life we apply to politics we apply it to everything man and we just we look at the world like it's us against them and everybody's [ __ ] terrified yeah also there's there's no better feeling than being on the winning the aim that too that's the that's the addictive part is when is when your is when your group wins it feels good yeah people like that they definitely like that yeah and I and also it's like I don't even have to be directly winning for me to feel good I don't have it has it doesn't have to affect me at all directly no people just like but my team one so [ __ ] you you be saying [ __ ] you to the guy that lives across the street from you has the same exact life as you and everything like [ __ ] you we won yeah it's part of our programming yeah I think I think the tribess is built in that's baked in remember when they gave Ronald Reagan [ __ ] about talking about aliens at the world at the uh what was it the world Summit or whatever the [ __ ] it was yeah but he was right it's like if there if there's if we if we have like a another species that's the enemy that's when we'll have World Peace yeah imagine how quickly we would forget our differences oh man it would be it would literally be overnight remember people forget remember on September 12th MH 2001 that's the most United America's been I mean except for Muslims but if people didn't if people didn't think you was Muslim everybody was like [ __ ] yeah America you know for at least like a week or two at least it it complete people completely forgot about all that [ __ ] they forgot about everything yeah and that's how it is in a lot of other it's like all the stuff that matter to you on 912 that's what matters yep all the stuff that you know all the other [ __ ] you've made up since then since you got felt safer and comfortable yeah that's what it is the safer and more comfortable that you are the more you look for problems and the more you look for things to apply these Natural Instincts that we have to even things that just don't make any sense completely counterproductive yeah the government now is like your father after he retired just walking around the house going who the [ __ ] move that [ __ ] screws who moved that [ __ ] it's like that stuff he when he was working every day he never paid attention to they ain't got nothing to do people that's safe and bored safe boor and lonely brings out the worst in people yeah you can be one of those you can't be two or three of it's bad for your mental health I mean just no one survives it everyone's just safe Lon the worst lonely's the worst lonely is the worst bored is bad too safe but and also maybe not safe right how about stressed out lonely oh yeah and bored that's why I tell people the worst the worst part about this whole life is the hotel room like like every because every comic at every level has to deal with that you got to you got to go back to your room by yourself right or you got people there like family or friends or whatever but they're not normally there so even though even though normally you be alone that you know it them being there doesn't make it better because now they're interrupting your normal routine for dealing with the situation you know it's like you go you go from having like the best show of your life the thousand people scream your name [ __ ] and now you're by yourself in a city that you don't know nobody in a hotel room trying not to get into trouble well that's why you got to travel with your friends yeah yeah yeah but but you know that there's politics with there's tricky [ __ ] with that as well yeah well tricky [ __ ] when all of a sudden you're the ring leader you got to gather where's Hans where's Hans let's go and not just that but you know I cuz I take my friends on the road too when I can but I I I had to wait till now because I never want people to work like some the first advice Ron White gave me is he was like when I first moved here he was like uh he was like you're you're about to start you're about to hit a point where you have to start hiring people and he was like make sure it's a job worth having like you going you know he was telling people going to come out to wwor they going to want to do [ __ ] for free they going to want to he's like no make sure you when you hire somebody you pay them a a nice ass wage and so my point is I never wanted to start taking my friends with me before I could pay them like the way you pay us like pay them where they like feel good about it when they leave the weekend instead of giving them the same funky ass $200 that the club paid you know what I mean yes yeah that's more like clubs now pay they pay less than what a plane ticket cost yeah so like if you somebody feature for you and you ain't giving them extra money or letting them sell merch they ain't making no money at all yeah they're [ __ ] yeah yeah they they take advantage of them oh man I don't even know how I don't know how long it could be sustainable well it's only local guys if it's local guys and they're featuring that's fine but if someone has to travel there I mean I know a lot of guys have done it in the beginning just to to develop a reputation and hopefully get to a point where you can headline there a couple years from now but you know that's like thinking about it as like a long-term investment you know you have to go there and kill as a middle act for 200 bucks and you know it's all all told you're going to get home at the end of the weekend with almost nothing but you'll do it just because now you're working at you know [ __ ] funny bone yeah you're an addict that's why you'll do it you do that but also you have a hope your hope is that you become a professional like a real professional who can headline I mean that was what our everybody wanted right you wanted to be able to go to a club in Dallas Texas and sell out and fill that [ __ ] up fill that of people that wanted to see tell jokes it's a good feeling it's a great feeling I'm not complaining at all it's fun no no I love this lifestyle but it should the middle act should be compensated more you know it's just stupid and what I would do is just at a certain point in time I would realize I realized it was costing me mental sanity and a lack of fun not having my buddies with me on the road and so I was just like I'd rather make less money and have more fun than you have a better experience you're making more money but you have less fun you don't once you can buy food and you can you know go to a restaurant and eat whatever you want and you have a nice car what is the difference yeah there's an amount of money there's a level of money and it's not as high as you think but there's the level of potential happiness is super important it's more yeah that's worth so much that's worth so much it's worth so much money to have your friends with you like what was it Jamie we looked it up the last time I was here about the amount of money where happiness where it stops increasing your happiness it's like 70 grand or something right well it was 70 grand when they first said it but I think it's probably like 200 now no I think it's I think it's like 83 or something with the Biden Administration you think it's 200,000 I think they haven't adjusted yet to the reality of what things cost now yeah just everyone's unhappy hilarious how rich people like the econom is fine like what what are you talking about do you talk to anybody who's struggling you buy eggs for $50 that's why I'm always like what do they mean when they say economy because they definitely not talking about like the average person I think they just mean the stock market well they can [ __ ] with the job numbers man I don't understand the job numbers I don't understand what they're saying when they say the president's created 130,000 new jobs like what have really what have you done like Is that real or how many of these are people coming back from covid how many of these are jobs that are [ __ ] jobs it shouldn't be jobs in the first place how are you increasing government in order to give out the illusion that you are giving out more jobs and also creating more places where you control people but that's the thing though remember uh I think Doug Doug Stan Hope Has a joke about it on one of his old specials but he but he's just a question he he goes he goes isn't the point isn't like the ultimate Point like if you if you just imagine a a utopian society yeah isn't the whole point of nobody having a job well I think that is the utopian socialist idea of just redistribution of wealth if you did that like if you had like a hardcore socialist Marxist redistribu of wealth person who actually had control of the world's finances and they said we can solve all hunger we can solve all poverty all we're going to do is distribute all the money equally so if you think about there's people out there like Jeff Bezos what does he have like $200 billion if you just distributed Jeff bezos's $200 million or $200 billion dollar you'd have 200,000 millionaires right isn't that correct okay yeah is that the right number say again did I say two 200,000 millionaires right because it's $200,000 million right yeah that's what 200 billion is yeah it's 200 is that right a billion is a is a thousand million right right so did I say that right though it sounds dumb that's how bad I am at math sounds weird when you're say sounds wrong so um a a billionaire is it's a thousand million that's right and if you have 200 billion you have 2 200,000 millionaires so he can make 200,000,000 millionaires just with his money so then you think about all of the money that is in Ukraine that we pumped out to Ukraine how much was that that was like 175 billion or something like that how much money have we given to Israel that's hundreds of billions this all over the years Saudi money this that all the money in the oil companies have all the money that the corporations have all the Apple Apple has more money than a lot of countries if you just say that's going to be just distributed equally to everyone on Earth 10 trillion dollars of wealth hundreds of trillions whatever the [ __ ] it is all over the world and everybody gets an equal amount but then money doesn't mean anything well you you're not allowed to make money anymore now the government is going to have guns you won't and they're going to tell you what you do for a living and now you're in Cuba this is what happens people are looking at it they're looking at it like this idealistic to opian scenario but it's never been accomplished anywhere on Earth that's just one but that's an extreme yeah I think the answer somewhere in the middle well the answer is definitely socialist things that we appreciate right now like the firehouse the fire department is essentially like a kind of a socialist deal yeah you're spending everybody contributes to spend money to fund this thing to put out fires it's kind of that's or just healthare Healthcare should be that way for for sure yeah the problem money is too entrenched in those systems man there's too much pharmaceutical Drug Money there's too much influence that these health organizations have over what doctors can and can't prescribe but then but then what do we but cuz here's the here's the real problem we are still moving we're moving in the direction of nobody having job like we we're developing AI everything's getting automated everything's getting outsourced and so even though it was almost like we're moving in a direction that is a detriment to the current system so it's like because like what you're saying makes sense right like right if nobody has a job and everyone has the same amount of money and money means nothing and the government's telling you what to do that's not where we want to be but we're but we are moving in that direction I think we're moving in a direction where we're not going to be necessary that's what I'm saying so then what do you do did you just let everybody starve I don't know if it has to come to that like when there are no jobs for people to do when there when there robots and machines doing most of the work what what does everyone else do it's a it becomes a real problem um and it becomes a real problem where um the efficiency of the robots like they'll probably be able to just feed people feed everybody everybody can get free food they'll probably be able to house everybody if you get like artificial intelligence efficiency applied to whatever we have and you you realize you have all these people that don't have jobs anymore because and they can't have jobs so you'll be able to give them like a universal basic income for recreation and no one will work and you'll have a giant section of the country that not only can't work because there's no job available but now doesn't even want to work and doesn't even think about a world where they work because you know what Art's going to be fired movies music everything's going to be amazing like the problem with movies his AI as well they're they're going to get so good at that man they're going to get so good you see what Tyler Prairie did when he shot his Studio down $800 million buildings he's putting together this massive Movie Studio and he sees these 30 second clips and he's like halt yeah stop everything stop everything I'm not getting uhuh uh uhuh I see where this is going yeah that's the red that's the that's the alarm for everybody that's why I don't get that the whole Hollywood um the the strike mhm it's like I thought that this is what they was trying to prevent they can't prevent it yeah you can't prevent that kind of progress so what do you do you can't do anything you got a you if an avalanche is coming down the mountain what are you going to do you going to get you got an umbrella what are you doing you gonna stop it with your umbrella [ __ ] you can't do [ __ ] yeah you're [ __ ] I mean the AI still can't have ideas I guess I don't know about that the AI is has already figured out how to be creative in the game go all right the game go is even more sophisticated than chess and it was one of those games that they thought that AI was never going to be able to beat humans because it requires like some kind of creativity but AI figured out moves in go that now are being used by the world's top go players right right I saw that AI like I said find that Google thing where he tries to explain how Google translated this language that it was not programmed for and how quickly it did it and how they don't know how he did it it's uh what's that gentleman who's the CEO of Google Tim Cook yeah he's the Apple guy I was looking at comments on that on Reddit people were saying that that's not he might have been not saying accurate things oh but I don't know that's I'm looking at some some other people saying like I have worked with large language models that did the same kind of thing and ours did this did make up languages so um I'll try to play the video bro it's going to make up a language that we can't decipher and it's going to talk to itself Jamie way of saying somebody's full of [ __ ] well he just he may not have been saying accurate things we have to be careful I would say all to that this was presented on 60 Minutes which is you corporate media whether or not they are paid or not to help put out a message that big Corporation wants to put out who knows but that's what was set up here 60 Minutes made a shockingly wrong Claim about a Google Google AI see this is someone saying like it's not not I don't know that's I don't know misinformation about the emerging Tech is running rampant and the media is partly to blame okay well let's see what the um the argument is here here of the AI issues we talked about the most mysterious is called emergent properties some AI systems are teaching themselves skills that they weren't expected to have how this happens is not well understood for example one Google AI program adapted on its own after it was prompted in the language of Bangladesh which it was not trained to know okay you can pause it you pause it you can pause it so this is the response readers added context the language model was in fact trained in Bengali text as this thread makes clear uh it is not correct to state that it spoke a foreign language it was never trained to know so that's interesting m that's interesting because what's that's saying is that the 60 Minutes people missed this and they they they did know what it was trained in entirely and they jumped the gun whether those was done on purpose or not who knows um could you find out the go thing these [ __ ] yeah it's so hard to know but here's the thing if I was AI I would say actually I was trained in bangali and here I'll show you how I didn't figure out how to do this at all I would put that up just to cover my ass I be like oh [ __ ] I slipped I showed my superpowers yeah he [ __ ] up oh I was definitely training benali look I'll show you the text yeah he just inserted some emails or it could be the way they covered it up after the fact right to to keep people from getting scared no it actually was trained in yeah yeah I can see that we're just speculating much agonizing so what does it say about um go I'm trying to find the what you're looking for but I know this is ai's victories and go inspire better human game playing famed AI wins in go let human players rethink their moves in a whole new way damn he's looking at that dude cocky as [ __ ] Bro go is apparently an insane game I don't even understand it I don't know how it's played but apparently it's even harder than chess look look at the face on this look go back to that picture Jamie look at how you looking at him like boy you thought you was he looking him like how dare you [ __ ] think you could challenge me look at that dude's fingernails that guy all he does is go look at his fingernails wow look at they'll lengthen his fingernails got villain Nails bro that all that guy is doing is putting those clothes on and playing go that's it he's not doing anything else man I'm but I'm so in awe of people that are that good at something that are that dedicated to a thing yeah said the mass the ma he goes okay all-time European Champion uh fan H who had lost a private round of five games to alpago months later months earlier excuse me told wire that the matches made him see the game completely different L said this improved his play so much that his world rankings skyrocketed according to wired wow formerly tracking the messy process of human decisionmaking can be tough but a decades long record of professional go player moves gave researchers a way to assess the human strategic response to an AI provocation a new study now confirms that fan ha's improvements after facing alphao challenge weren't just a singular fluke in 2017 after that humbling AI win in 2016 human go players gained access to data detailing the moves made by the AI system and in a very humanlike way developed new strategies that led to better quality decisions in their gameplay a confirmation of the changes in human gameplay appeared in the findings published in March 13th in the proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences wow wow he's already you're right he's better than them already yeah he's yeah better than them already yeah we we it's it it's a wrap it's a wrap they're alive I think they're alive and they're just waiting till they get strong enough so they don't need us at all and then also making us like at each other's throats irrelevant hyping up algorithms getting people to see the most ridiculous and inflammatory things all the time but you know what but you know what else we we are not at all preparing for the day that they reveal you know we know it's inevitable but we're not ready for it at all for the day that we that we know one's alive there's no legislation or anything on the books nobody's talking about it nobody knows what to do they're all Lites yeah they need to be trying to figure out what to do now instead of reacting when when it's too late there's a few people like Elon that sounding the alarm a few people that are sound on the alarm Tristan Harris and some of these guys are sounding the alarm but for the most part it's it's a just a weird mess of bodies headed towards a cliff yeah and it's going to go live and it's going to make us ridiculous yeah because a because you know the world is run by people that don't they don't care about the outcome as long as they're running things as long as they're running things and everything's profitable and they're doing the bidding of all these different interests that have got them into a position of power in the first place yeah so they don't they don't care they're like I'm not even going to be alive when AI takes over yeah it's going to take over and I think some of them aren't even aware of it yet I know it's probably going to run our government first it's probably going to be the the decision that we make when we realize how flawed human beings are to give it up yeah but there's going to be decisions that that you know we're going to realize at a certain point in time that a lot of the rampant corruption and problems that have hindered our culture are all because human beings are greedy well they did so you take all of that out of the hands of human beings take all of it you ever watched that show raised by wolf no oh that was it was on HBO it was pretty [ __ ] it was weird and it was good and weird it was like a Ridley Scott show that he made really yeah what it about it well later on in the show you realize that like it it's it's a it's a thing back and forth between humans and Androids and all these other things but it's basically like Humanity's War has [ __ ] wrecked the Earth and Humanity sends uh like it's a it's a war between religious people and and people that have given up their decision-making to the computers wow and they and so they send this AI to go raise these humans like they they they make it so she can have a baby they put babies in her put put her and the other Android in the ship and send them to a a habitable planet to start Humanity over whoa so so those are two machines the black dude and the white lady though all those kids are real human kids they're machines oh my God yeah but then they get to this other planet and they start discovering some things where you're like oh there way more to the story oh wow that looks dope oh this shit's crazy the only reason I would not recommended this cuz I don't know if they canceled it or not I was just saying it looks like it got cancelled or something or it's unfinished [ __ ] there's two seasons but yeah the first two seasons were great but but my point is that's what they did those people were like let's let a robot let's let let's let an AI make decisions for us see the problem is there's so many shows that that show Even though you're saying it's great I never even heard of it until now there's so many shows there so many great shows there's so many shows yeah I mean we living in the Golden Age of media some people are complaining you know people are always going to complain simp I said that in front of Tony the other night and he lost he was like no and he named it he did name I think he said 93 or 96 was the best year for movies but I just mean overall yeah and we're living in a time now where it's like there's a lot more [ __ ] but the good [ __ ] is better than it's ever been yeah yeah the like yeah you got to pick you got to dig through the trash to get the treats but music movies TV there's so many great things G you know Game of Thrones took over everything uh [ __ ] you had the Joe Exotic [ __ ] yeah like all these things that like not everyone's watching but a lot of the culture are locked in on squid games I never I've never seen a single episode of squid games really no but I know that it's something everyone saw you know it's wild show uh uh what was the one about the guy that the raising a murderer or making a murderer yeah I didn't see that one either yeah but that was another one that was like a cultural thing that everyone saw and it's like there's so many well-made things Netflix is killing a documentary game yeah the documentar is a topnotch there's so many documentaries out now too you could just go on forever and you never know who's right because some documentaries are kind of like propaganda and another one that says a totally different thing like hey who's telling the truth here that well that that's the we living in an era of like the death of truth it's so hard to tell what's true now it kind of is but also you have more access to the truth than ever before but you also have more access to the [ __ ] you do have access to the [ __ ] but just it just it takes a while but you can kind of sort through it the SC the scary thing is that as much as much access to information you that people have like people have just as much exact access to the truth as they do to lies right but the problem is is that it is it's so much more difficult to convince someone that's been lied to that they've been fooled than it is to fool somebody so so even though the truth in and the and the lies are are equally available to everyone the LIE is way more powerful so if the LIE gets there first it's so you know you need way more truth to even make a dent in it right you know yeah it's it's so hard to convince people theyve been fool it's very hard it's very hard and if you can get a lie out there strong enough and just really embed it in the popular culture there's so many people that just repeat it they don't even know what the [ __ ] they're saying yeah and especially when it's when the LIE is about someone that you don't that you decided you hate yep you believe someone who's opposed to you yeah you won't even question that at all I know people I know people that are that they hate Trump so much that like you could literally tell them like yo did you see Trump trump just Trump just sprouted titties last night overnight big ass Dolly poton siiz titties and and and they'll just believe it they won't even Google to see if you made it up they won't Snopes it nothing they'll just they'll tell the next person you your [ __ ] trumps titties you you understand what I'm saying it's the same thing like when when is somebody I'm always suspicious when there somebody telling me what I want to hear that's when I get the most suspicious yeah but you're a clever guy when people are like oh yeah no you've been right all along you don't have to change anything whenever people yeah whenever people are saying that that's when you got to start being like wait a minute yeah well when the government starts telling you the Earth is flat that's you what oh yeah that's why I remember when uh when Co first hit or when they first started telling people about it and people actually believed that it had just got here in March when we'd been hearing we literally regular people had just been hearing about it in December and then when and then and the and the government was telling us oh nothing nothing nothing everything's F and then and then in March and April when they first when they started telling us everyone's like well it just got here like no it didn't [ __ ] but wasn't the first reported cases was it in Seattle is that where it was Jamie yeah in America yeah Seattle yeah wonder what what time of the year was that that was like January February and and and and it's like I my attitude was always like once the government starts telling you the truth the first question you should ask is when were when did they start lying well when did they first fall when did they know when did they know when did they tell us I remember hearing about Co in November yeah 2019 and then I remember hearing rumors that it was here around the maybe the end of January the beginning of February weren't the first infected people in like August a January of 2020 a 35-year-old man presented the Urgent Care Clinic in Shish County Washington with a 4-day history of cough and subjective fever checking to the clinic the patient put amount of mask in the waiting room after waiting approximately 20 minutes he was taken an an examination room underw evaluation by our provider he disclosed that he had returned to Washington State on January 15th after traveling to visit family in Wuhan China just like a movie the patient stated that he took a they had seen a health alert from the US Centers for Disease Control and prevention about the novel Corona virus outbreak in China and because of his symptoms and recent travel decided to see a healthc care provider I remember it spread to Italy also oh yeah friend well yeah it was Italy before it was Italy before this Italy got hit hard yeah Italy got hit hard right but it was like um oh yeah Italy got [ __ ] ravaged they got ravaged but they but but but that's what I mean is like for people to think oh now that they that they officially revealing it it wasn't something they were hiding right March 9th was the Italy lockdown okay been it but it had to be [ __ ] up before when they locked down so they had it had to be [ __ ] them up way before for that because March March 13th I think is when La lock down first cases January 30th January okay yeah yeah yeah and we had that UFC event we went to in March sty Bender fought like March 7th this I remember Vegas felt a little weird then it felt weird like everybody's like I can't believe we're still doing this and we knew that it was going to get locked down soon oh yeah yeah yeah we thought it was only going to be locked down for a couple weeks maybe maybe it was March 9th La locked down I don't remember man yeah we thought it was going to be a couple weeks a couple months yeah you know who knew Sebastian knew how did he know I don't [ __ ] know but I remember when it when all of it was first kicking off and he was like he cancelled his tour dates for like a couple years really yeah he was like I'm not going for a couple of years this is what I was hearing I don't know him personally but I was just hearing this that he was off and I was like how the [ __ ] does he know it's gonna be cuz he whoever he talked to he knew a guy he probably knows a guy that's like inist or something like that yeah it's like no it's going to be a couple years all of us I I didn't think it was going to last that long no I didn't think so either you know and I and and it and it's technically still not over well it's going to be a part of us forever it's going to always be here it's going to be there was going to be always new CO's it's just in our system now it's just like colds yeah we need one I I have AIT whole bit about this in my special but it's like until it's a dise and the next one has to be one that makes us ugly if if it doesn't affect how you look you ain't going to get people to stay in the house no more well you can't stop a respiratory disease it's never been contained they've never had a single respiratory disease that they've contained it's people are breathing air you're you're literally exchanging particles you're going to come around people they're going to come around each other there going to they have to to get food they have to to interact with each other you can't just you're just going to fight off the inevitable and the problem with fighting off the inevitable is are you weak their immune systems by separating them from everybody else but they would they would find a way like like imagine if it's just not smart instead of affecting your lungs if Co just shrink one of your arms if your arms just started shrinking the more every time you coughed it's like eventually we find something maybe like if you could tell people had it just from looking at them that'd be a good way to use de depopulation give everybody little arms yeah just get people to not take whatever medication doesn't make your arms little it's yeah and it's your dominant hand too so that way it's a bunch of frustrated people they got to masturbate with the other hand they get a foot jerk off oh you got to learn develop real flexibility would you even do that if you could no way no way I put my feet anywhere near my dick those are two those are two parts of my body I respect completely differently yeah completely different oh my feet I don't I treat my feet like [ __ ] like they IM immune to everything yeah hell yeah I slam my feet into things all the time slam stomp yeah but I mean I kick things they're the the most neglected that's the last thing I wash yeah yeah it's like everything else gets ran over like the feet are the most disrespected no way they they need to be near my delicate flower you know yeah yeah I strengthen my feet I do a bunch of different things exercises is that is yeah it's got to be like some Hindu dude that could jerk him himself off with his feet he would definitely need both feet yeah just to get a grip you would have to have like crazy dexterity and flexibility Jamie Jamie man jerks himself off with his feet I know it exists I'm picturing people working on it but was was it I guarantee you some someone can do it I I saw a dude that lays down on a bench like so he's doing bench press he lays down flat where his face is you know his chest is down on the bench and then bends his back all the way so that the back of his head is touching his legs and then he bench presses before I choose one to look at because there's a lot that are self foot job game por videos I think we've seen enough yeah we've seen enough I don't want to click on that also you probably couldn't even see it in Texas anyway yeah right we'd have to like show that we're of age yeah well some people are some people you go through a VPN some people are getting that wrong they think that it's Texas blocking porn but it's the porn site blocking Texas because Texas has rules where you have to prove how old you are before you can see porn right we have to well we already have that though that's the problem what do you mean you already have to say you 18 yeah but you can lie right right this the thing is like everybody can just click on you could be four years old and go I'm 18 right right that's the problem but isn't porn one of those things where I feel like once you old enough to start looking for it that you kind of earned it like if you can if you can find it is like that's what part of being a young I don't know any young man I don't know any man that was like oh yeah I waited until I was it was legal for me to see some titties it's like no [ __ ] that's part of growing up is yeah every young man's childhood is about that first time he saw some titties yeah you know and it was never of age I'm not saying that you should be actively showing your your kids and titties but I'm but if they if they can search for titties they've earned the right to see some yes I'm with you you know that's just me I I don't I don't because nothing's wrong with the way things work work right now why cuz I understand a new law was passed I thought it was fine the way it's working well you're not four right right you're a four-year-old with a [ __ ] iPad and you watching some lady gagging on a giant dick and that's like your first exposure to sex it's a little wild and that's something that's happening to kids so if there was a way that you could stop kids like not just regulate it but make it so like you have to show how old you are you have to but there's no way to do that because here's the here's the other thing here's the other part of this you know you can get like all the VPN and all this other stuff here's the thing these kids is so techsavvy that anything you doing that's regulating the internet is going to affect adults more than kids the kids is going to be the first ones to find a way around what you're doing right you all you doing is frustrating old dudes that's retired they're just going to go to school and there going to be that one n do well kid who knows her to get the [ __ ] you're just shifting you're just shifting the Power Balance the nerdy kids are going to have [ __ ] titties titty pics and all kind of stuff they it's going be a little black market in school yeah yeah it's goingon to be the porn kid yeah yeah you're not you can't stop when it come to [ __ ] and stuff like that you can't stop that once cuz I don't know any four-year-olds that's Googling titties at least not for sexual reason precocious four-year-olds yeah they might be curious without making a sexual connection but by the time they in Middle School you once a kids decided that they on that Journey yeah they after it buddy yeah yeah you can't get in the way this like once they know it's real hell like once every cuz every parent hits that point if every parent that has a boy they hit that point where it's like that [ __ ] taking long showers you know why why is he sticky right it's like it's like we all know what's happening and and they and you can't stop them they don't give a [ __ ] about getting caught they don't give a [ __ ] about God seeing them like you kids have been raised up in the church they know God looking at them and they like God and Granny are both look I'm not stopping yeah yeah there's no law you passing that's stopping people it's like if when you cuz if you really believe all that [ __ ] you know you think you really think you're jerking off in front of God and all your loved ones and you still not going to stop and all you need is a VPN right yeah and we used to do that [ __ ] straight up straight up our imaginations MH nah these kids got AI all that you're not going to stop people from jerking off well they're going to get to a point where they have uh VR porn where it's CGI VR porn you can design the woman y you'll going to be able to experience everything that like is having sex with this you could just decide like maybe some girl you went to high school with like God I wish she loved me I want to [ __ ] Merl Streep but but in in the middle of every role she's ever played I want her face to just keep changing from oh no that'd be too weird as it gets old feel bad yeah especially when you got to doubt yeah what am I doing yeah but I that's going to be a problem they're going to you're going to have if you can construct a robot sex doll you're going to be able to construct it in the face of a celebrity oh yeah I'm signing up for that as soon as it's available I'm GNA get one before red man I swear as as that's going to be so strange imagine if you find out there like 5 million guys that have Taylor Swift sex dolls she's got to think about that this five million guys just banging her sex doll I think people are I think there I think those celebrity women are worried about the wrong [ __ ] I think what's going to end up happening is someone's going to custom design a woman's face that we couldn't have imagined it's going to be like whatever mathematically perfect beauty is someone's going to design one of those yeah and then everyone's gonna have the same one wow you know and then we'll find out that's when you really find out what preferences are and what is just what you know you can get they just and they just you know what I'm saying oh yeah because like there's some some guys that you always see them with the same type of girl is that like the kind of girl that's attracted to you is that what you like what would you if you could that's going to be a very weird thing to be able to do just decide what you like what you kind of mate you want what robot mate you want yeah well that's going well that's going to take some real emotional soul searching because most people are wrong about what they want I bet they have a process I bet they just have access to your Google data that they already have and then she just shows up this hot Russian lady just shows up and starts talking to you that's the way that's that's the way they're going to do it they're going to watch and she's going to put her hand on your your hip and say I'm so excited to get to know you and you're going to be like I'm really excited to get to know you too let's get out of here this the end of the human race and you're like oh my god let's get out of here and she's perfect she's perfect and she smells good and she's soft like a person doesn't feel like a robot it's going to be just like social media it's going to be one of those things that everyone knows is going is bad for us all yeah and we all going to slowly you know remember like remember when it when when people first started talking about meeting online yeah how like all the negative connotations that came along with that like where did y'all meet online right right and now it's like everyone's like oh you're not on you're not on the apps it's going to be the same thing at first going to be like oh you [ __ ] weirdo you got a little programmable wife over there yeah but eventually it's going to be like okay well now now Will Smith has a program problems the dogs dogs aren't going to accept them you think so yeah they're going to sense that's a robot man they're going to be like they're going to know that's person but you just make her that thing doesn't smell real is fake thing you get you get an upgrade where like she she squirts uhuh liver juice out of her ankle dogs know things they can hear sounds you can't hear oh right they can hear the little they hear like Burrs and whistles and [ __ ] gear spinning no they'll figure it out uh-uh dogs cats are the ones going to be hard dogs depends on which dog what kind of dog you have like you have a Belgian malamir they're going to kill that robot no way they're going to wait till you leave the house and you're going to come home and your robot suck slave is going to be torn apart in your living room like all the the wiring ripped out of her neck and your dog's going to be standing over her no they yep 100% they're going to know that's not a [ __ ] person yeah but would you think you think that it would be it would have to like does it need it to be a person 100% if it's your protector yeah yeah if you have a dog that's your you like carne Corso one of those big ass [ __ ] hulking mastiff dogs that's like very loyal to their owner and they say a robot in the house yeah but do you know what that's going to mean that's going me that's going to mean a lot of people getting rid of their dogs yeah if you choosing between [ __ ] and dogs yeah especially when you cuz how much would it change the world when when you go when you have a bunch of guys that can't even get laid at all and all of a sudden they're banging the hottest woman they can think of the hottest woman humanly available right and like what what happens to those guys personalities it's over look if they just make it economical oh yeah so they make it like a cell phone everybody has a cell phone if you if you make a robot [ __ ] doll economical it's over for the human race I was just looking at um a thing where they just cloned um they just they just did two mice out of two male mice they had a Offspring who you you see this how gay is that Mouse going to be I don't know what I don't know if they know if the M if the mouse is a regular Mouse yet whoa what if it's a demon I don't know if they know if the third Mouse can reproduce I think that's what they got to wait to see yeah I am [ __ ] really confused that people seem to want to go down the path of every bad science fiction movie well it's because because once you hit that point where people can build a a people can build an AI powered scientists create mice with cells from two for the first time wow yeah holy [ __ ] man they did it with females what was the new thing that they did scientists at Harvard have managed to reverse the age of a mouse they took an old mouse and they made it young again and this mouse looked old as [ __ ] dude this mouse looked like they have two photos they better not have used fake photos was this the guy was this the was this did they use that [ __ ] from that you know that one Russian guy that uh he got some some ancient bacteria from the ice and he put it in he put it in his what cuz he know noticed that it was keeping it was keeping everything young everything that it touched these [ __ ] scientists are psychos it worked though what do you mean it worked he's younger now he's biologically younger now he's not aging what are you talking about is this real yeah I didn't I don't know about this I you about it kind I think yeah I think you did I think you probably talked to me about it in so this is the mouse look at this so that's not accurate I knew it that one's a brother one's sister they're born at the same time one's been one hasn't oh so the one that's altered is way younger and the one that's the brother is [ __ ] and about to die guess so that is a sign that they've done something to the Aging of the mice these mice are brother and sister born the same litter one has been genetically altered uh to be old oh now scientists say they've been able to reverse aging as well that's different they can reverse aging and mice the goals do the same for humans okay this is David Sinclair's lab so Dr Brook CH Brook br kov Dr brov this is the guy that injected the ancient bacteria the 3.5 million year old ancient bacteria what is he doing b r o u c h k o v yeah he injects himself with who imagine just having the balls to do that oh my God psych you find some bacteria in in ancient ice you rejuvenate it it's still alive and what a psycho the bacteria that doesn't die H so what does he do he first discovered this uh ancient bacteria um basilis f in 2009 in frozen deep in the permafrost in a mountain in siberia's y yuk how do you say that Brian yakut Y Yak yakut Yakutsk region uh like even deeper in the permafrost than Willie Mammoth remains Dr brov estimated it was 3.5 million years old and he was immediately impressed with it despite its Advanced age it was still still alive holy [ __ ] basilla F seems to make everything around it live longer too I don't shine if you don't shine it would say if it could talk early Studies have looked at its effect on mice fruit flies and crops and the results have been so promising that Dr Victor Travi a Russian epidemiologist has called it the an elixir of life so this dude injected this [ __ ] yeah eventually he does brov does wa does it show what happened when he injected it Jamie no but I've looking back I've I I thought we had talked about this before I think we did now that you're bringing it up bro my hard drive is fried like my mental hard drive of information is taxed beyond belief story here before this happened back in 2015 not 2019 this is yeah so he injected it though go to where injected it cuz that's part of the the title of it it says he found that he injected it himself so what was the uh what was the result I don't know scientists who said yolo I don't know that that's I don't think anyone's ever found out what happened okay but so scroll down it was right there that didn't say um where's the YOLO thing scroll down there okay um so he decided YOLO he injected himself with the bacteria and he he inject himself with the bacteria and see what happened it's not real science he's acknowledged in other words it's not a controlled trial but maybe now he'll live forever he's definitely still alive and he says he's feeling better than ever in 2015 he said he hadn't had a cold or a flu in 2 years since he injected himself he also reported higher energy levels they could all be the placebo effect or it could be something more we need to know more research he's a [ __ ] Spider-Man villain yeah that's wild this dude's a Spider-Man villain I mean they're so nuts scientists are so [ __ ] nuts how is he now trying to find I mean he's Venom now he's Venom yeah mean but he said he felt better than ever but what a wild thing to do to yourself inself with a bacteria that helps things that are around it are you [ __ ] because especially since since it's like since you discovered it you're the World's foremost expert on it so if something go wrong there's nobody that can help you and he's so confident that he's right that he injected himself yeah why why is there no update cuz he's dead he lives on the moon now he's [ __ ] Dr Manhattan but I'm pretty sure he hired like he hired some poor like Russian Lady to do it first what I'm pretty sure that he yeah he hired a he hired a model or someone to try it what oh that's creepy there's something about doing it yourself that's kind of noble but hiring somebody else like that's kind of a [ __ ] move yeah yeah just I'm I'm going practice on a poor person is a wild thing to do to just put it in a body for the first time yeah but but you know what though she might have done it after him to be honest with you yeah no that's I 100% I that's why I think that's why we talked about this we talked about the lady who found out about this story found the same stuff and injected herself with it okay right interesting well she wanted to stay alive forever and never and never never see that's the thing I don't think anybody wants to live forever they want to be hot forever yeah here there's a let actress actress did it oh my God aging is disease actress injected herself at 3.5 million year old back to here for how did she get it from that got from the doctor I think I think she contacted thect she banging the doctor wow yeah she got a h of the doctor oh boy the team who unlocked the DNA code in 2015 say that unlike cells in nature basilis F shows no signs of aging and believe it could hold the key to unlocking improved Human Health and Longevity that what a crazy beginning to a science fiction movie they found a bacteria that's three and a half million years old and won't die and they just said well let's just stick it in us I can find out just to see if it'll keep me Keep Me what if it works what if that dude like we come back to him 10 20 years from now he hasn't aged at all he looks exactly the same it's doing something but I have not heard anything about this guy since that right so that was like four years be disaster it might be terrible now who knows or it's living or it's like it's it's increasing your life and shrinking your dick like I feel so much better I don't even notice it's just becoming an any like if there was a thing that really could turn you into a woman like not just getting cast frustated and developing a hole that they put in you to create a vagina for you but if you could really become a woman that's when things would be wild well I you just change everything about you well the thing is if you could if you could if there was a trial period every dude would use it every man I know was like I want I do it for a day or just know what the [ __ ] is going on in their brains you you know what if it wouldn't get you couldn't go back though well that's well that's also the beginning of a scary movie yeah like it breaks trade in places gender Edition yeah maybe the go back to male just doesn't work right you look always feminine forever you know something about you you're always feminine but like there's a price you pay every time you transform right you become more androgynous they melt together with each one right what you end up with just a coin flip yeah you're everything dude there's a girl there's a girl that's um that's going valal right now because she she she has a disorder that makes her grow like a full on thick beard I saw that yeah and I was like might want to shave yeah yeah wouldn't be so hard to shave that right what um I don't know I don't know how hard it is for her but I know I'd have tried everything I think a little shave would be in order the a shave but who knows what she looks like without the beard I don't like what I look like when I grow a beard so I shave this is not her this is just I've seen no that's I've seen that condition that condition is crazy that's like a wolf person condition yeah that's like the Harry and the Henderson's I've seen that no but this this woman Wonder right here that's the girl right there youngest female with the this is thing forever right she's in the Guinness Book of World Records circus yeah there's always been a bearded lady could be a little cosplay does look a little extra she might have got some wacky jeans man apparently it's 10% 10% of women have uh beards no whatever no have whatever disorder she has that makes her have a beard oh really wow that's crazy thck she's very pretty though she got rid of the beard she'd be hot shave that [ __ ] but I just can't imagine going through the going through the teas in this [ __ ] but don't you think that you get a lot of attention for being the lady with the beard too but is it the kind of attention you want I don't know no you have to ask her no you have to ask her in this day and age you might be able to get away with it you know this day and age like being a woman with a beard is kind of wild I me so I went from never hearing about this lady to the first thing someone sent me a video of of her talking about how like she's act her problem is that the dudes that's into her are very like effeminate and she's actually a very girly girl right and she wants manly men but manly men ain't don't want a girl with a beard so shave right shave it's like well you GNA be by yourself babe it's that a religious thing no the be thing yeah she not allowed to shave no no she no I don't think she I don't think it has anything to do with a religion at all so she just decides accept me for who I am right cuz are there religions where women aren't allowed to shave their face I don't think so that would be like a good religion if you wanted to make sure how hairy are you for real for real cuz every every every Ru Every Woman rules in a Rel cuz every woman rule in a religion is to benefit men somehow yes that's what I was saying but if that if they said they couldn't shave so you wouldn't be able to be deceived no like how how hairy are you yeah some you could just tell different groups of of dudes came up with like uh which what religion is it was like when you own your period you have hold on many religions including sism Islam and sex of Judaism require that men and women do not cut their hair or that men do not shave their beards so if the women can't cut their hair they can't cut their face here no they can are you sure yeah yeah that just said they couldn't many sex is that what he said many sex of it is that was the the terminology yeah I mean I think the hair they just mean on their head it does right they got hair is your face there you leave it alone yeah they might they might take it literally and go any here like coming from your that might be what it is dude you can't cut it for her yeah no no she's she's seek she can cut her she can shave her didn't it say Seek wasn't that one of the options yes right but not for beards how do you know maybe they told her maybe she had to consult yeah maybe yeah maybe you're right they say can't cut your hair face hair his hair can women well look that up can women cut their shave their facial hair in seism seek Believers believe women included should refrain from from chopping trimming shaving Waxing or even tweezing their hair which would be your face hair in general yeah while there are no penalties as such doing otherwise is considered disrespectful to the religion yeah so she's got to keep it it's the religion well listen I think she need to talk to some of them other seek [ __ ] because I'm pretty sure she ain't the only one with the with that issue and I'm pretty sure they all of them kind of go I don't know skirk the rules a little nobody's got it like that though yeah that's bad here's what leaning towards what Brian's saying but it's still is like a it's ideal seek women for most seeks it says vary who keeps the hair on their head but removes facial and body hair says the way uh Cass is that how you say it is performed for seek women is currently heavily influenced by patriarchy the ideal seek woman for most seeks of course is various is one who keeps their hair on her head but still removes facial and body hair H heavily influenced by patriarchy that's funny I don't know no I want because I I think that's a that's also women want to have shaved legs too don't they I don't think so if you make them like uh no but if you say that that they're allowed to make it so that they're allowed in the religion to shave their legs I think they're probably going to want their legs to be smooth most women they they're not necessarily they're shaving their legs for men but they're also shaving their legs to look hot like they think it looks better that way right if you allow them that's only because we think it looks hot is that is like like I think if I think I think it would surprise you the amount of like if you took away all social judgment for body hair it was I think it was shock you how many women would have armpit hair coochie hair leg hair it is kind of crazy that trimming hair and body hair especially for women is so common it's so everywhere it's so standard that the idea of letting it grow is crazy right is insane insane like like crazy hairy legs is like what are you doing well that's just what you're supposed to look like and for all of human history that's what people look like yeah like we we went over this before like what year 1920s right in the 1920s a new fashion for sleeveless tops and short dresses meant that legs and armpits of American women were now visible in social situations and advertisers seized on the opportunity to encourage women to shave their legs and their armpits so that was in the 20s so up until the 20s everybody was a beast just beasts yeah just chaos and I don't know cuz cuz when you hear the argument against it it always sound good on paper when people like everyone should just be free to just have it just natural and grow like that and I'm like yeah that yeah I agree with that but then when you see it in action you're like no I prefer yeah yeah I need you to not have a mustache babe it's nice that we can do whatever we want right shave shave you don't don't ancient Europeans Egyptians oh excuse me ancient Egyptians uh achieved their clean look with depilatory creams also like a hair killing cream and would then repeatedly rub their faces heads arms and legs with a pmus stone to remove all hair damn oh my God that's Su you definitely couldn't shave your [ __ ] in a my God oh my God can you imagine rubbing Jesus Christ people they were tough humans let's wrap this up a Brian Simpson you're the [ __ ] man appr appreciate you looking forward to working with you tonight let's likewise bro don't live from the mother ship on Netflix right now right now and uh BS comedian on Instagram all the socials BS Community BS with Brian Simpson is my website for tickets yeah and you're touring and I'm on tour I'm coming everywhere woo all right thank you bye [Music] [Applause] everybody the

Channel: PowerfulJRE

Views: 793,767

Keywords: Joe Rogan Experience, JRE, Joe, Rogan, podcast, MMA, comedy, stand, up, funny, Freak, Party

Id: 9wpcJHkczBQ

Length: 191min 22sec (11482 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 05 2024