Jim Jordan Can’t Get the Votes, Trump Rants and Raves During Fraud Trial & Pence Faces Mounting Debt

previously on Jimmy Kimmel Live I just don't think this is the time to play games and politics the American people needs us it has been two weeks of chaos can we go back to work and get serious about it can we all just do the right thing and elect Jim Jordan speaker today from Hollywood it's Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight zimu Le Jim Jeff and music from Mike Tower with PLO and the cletos and now Jimmy [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Kumo thanks for watching thank you for joining us here in Hollywood California we have a lot to cover tonight we have I mean I don't mean to quiet you down but we have no time for a fun tonight it's our uh our pumpkin headed former president was uh mouth breathing his way through another day in court today I don't know if this is not the January 6th Insurrection cases that's in Washington it's not to be confused with the election tampering case that's in Georgia or the stolen documents case in Florida or the Stormy Daniels or egene Carol cases that are also in New York this is his fraud trial in New York I know it's really hard to keep track but Donnie Cochran has been using this trial as a platform to air grievances particularly about the gag order the judge put on him in Washington the judge said basically I don't have a right to speak and I'm being restricted my my speech has been taken away from me I'm a candidate that's running for office and I'm not allowed to speak did all 15 microphones get that I only Donald Trump would claim he's not allowed to speak while speaking to 40 cameras at a press conference but one act Trump's been grinding over and over is that he was denied the chance to have a jury trial in this case which is not true his dummy lawyers forgot to request a jury trial which means he's definitely not paying them but watch here pay attention to the woman on the left she's his lawyer she's part of the team that dropped the ball on making the jury request it's very unfair we don't get a jury trial there's no jury I want a jury I'm entitled to a jury I'm not allowed to have a jury I never heard of that before I don't get the option if I beg for a jury they wouldn't give me a jury I get no jury Junior Milani is like I hope he doesn't look back here cuz uh according to prosecutors Trump illegally inflated the value of his properties in order to secure loans and deflated the value of those same properties for tax purposes and there's nothing that makes him matter than when somebody challenges how much money he's worth based on her convincing the judge that Maro was worth $18 million instead of a billion to a billion which would sell very easily based on that he ruled against me he ruled fraud I mean he said fraud they are the frauding people because they ruled a house that was worth 18 they put that as worth 18 million and it's worth maybe close to 100 times that out yeah let's trust the numbers from the guy who claimed he weighs 215 lbs so he said his house he went on to say his house is worth more than any house in the world I guess that includes Buckingham Palace I don't know and when he was done bragging about his house he took a moment to weigh in on the house where Trump's little wrestling buddy Jim Jordan is having a hell of a time trying to get elected speaker speaker of the house he's a fantastic young man he's pretty young still and he's very strong very gu very proper opinions about our country he loves our country he wants to see it do well and I think he's going to be confirmed sometime soon hang on one second let's can he go back um to the because I want to know who is this little fella in the bow tie peering menacingly over his oral red and Bacher glasses I don't know we looked him up turns out it's one of Trump's lawyers um he found this man living in a tree and he hired him to but anyway back to Jim Jordan Trump said he would be confirmed soon but they voted and Jordan was not confirmed he fell about 20 votes short and they scrapped the second vote today turns out there's something about being a loser that really suits Jim Jordan house is expected to vote again tomorrow the Insiders are saying that one of Jordan's biggest hurdles is that no one likes him no one in the world likes him and a lot of Republicans were apparently turned off by the fact that during their closed door meeting last week Jordan told his colleague Steve scalise America wants wants me and stormed out the door which I bet Scarlett Johansson wants you too it's a Jim Jordan if you don't know his story is a particularly terrible choice for speaker because when he was a wrestling coach at Ohio State there was a doctor sexually abusing the student athletes according to multiple very credible Witnesses including at least 11 former members of his team Jordan knew all about it but didn't say anything a man who is famous for not speaking up would like to be speaker it's really something Congress is now uh haven't had a speaker for two weeks there's no end in sight maybe it's time we take whereare their right to choose I don't know and while that that inability to let a leader is obviously a symptom of the deep disfunction within the GOP you'll never guess who they'd like you to blame for this let's go back to how it got here we wouldn't be here if every single Democrat didn't vote with eight Republicans to shut this place down that's Republicans voted against Jim today on the floor including two votes from somebody who's not even a member anymore every single Democrat and eight Republicans voted to shut down one branch of government that is why we're here today no no no we're here today because your own party threw you out like a tray of salmon cakes from last weekend's HomeTown Buffet but really how can you not blame Democrats I mean before McCarthy was ousted the Republicans came to them they said look we have these crazy people in our party who want to blow everything up and we need your votes or nothing can get done so here's what we'll do you guys give us enough votes to elect a speaker and in return we'll give you nothing and call you all a bunch of Communists and groomers deal hey wait where you going don't you care about the government and now it seems like nobody's able to unite the party republicans that can't get on the same page although Matt Gates keeps trying to get on the female ones but um thank you somebody had better grab that gav soon because the government's staring down another shut down next month and the house still needs to pass crucial military aid packages for Ukraine and Israel President Biden is headed to Israel tomorrow which is wasn't sending an 80-year-old On A Dangerous Mission across the globe the plot of the last Indiana Jones movie and I'm not sure that went great but the um it's a risky trip for the president but if it goes well it could give his campaign a boost he just lost out on a major endorsement from I don't know if you heard this Wakka Flocka Flame out of nowhere has decided to endorse Donald Trump you think Trump knows who that is you think excellent chance Trump thinks waca Flocka Flame is the name of a sandwich at Burger King but you know Waka hasn't always been supportive of trump in 2015 in fact he tweeted F Donald J Trump and in 2017 a fan threw a trump Jersey on stage while he's performing he did this which is not really a a very nice thing to do but this turnaround is Big because you know as goes W of Flocka Flame so goes Flock of Seagulls And chumba WBA too and by the way if you keeping track is important to knowe Trump is now up to three black friends hey speaking of unlikely friends did you hear about Mitt Romney and Oprah in his uh new book book ironing my pants Mitt Romney says that Oprah wanted to team up with him and run for president in 2020 with him as her running mate team Oprah is challenging that they say it's not true and it is hard to believe who would why would Oprah want to be president it's a demotion from being Oprah really and why would she pick Mitt Romney as a running mate according to the book The idea was to get a powerful Democrat a powerful Republican to join forces to give the American people something none of us want and um that was would have been great though they could have been Ebony and um what's whiter than Ivory and is there and of course some people don't believe Oprah has what it takes to be president of the United States as far as I'm concerned if you can grow a cabbage this size in your yard you could do anything you want you know we can use an Oprah caliber running mate right now Mike Pence who Mike Pence is running out of money he's down to the last penny in his loafer he the Pence campaign is reportedly $620,000 in debt I guess his Rock and Roll Lifestyle is finally catching up with him apparently Pence has had trouble winning over Republican voters especially the ones who tried to hang him so his campaign is facing mounting debt but he won't admit it because mother won't let him use the word mounting um just out of curiosity I looked at the Google search history for Mike Pence over the past five years you know was this the moment the single moment we're most interested in Mike Pence that moment right there October 7th 2020 the moment a fly landed on his head that was number one maybe that should be his running mate but it's not all bad news for Mike Pence he's so close to Breaking 500 YouTube subscribers and not only isn't he giving up he's got some exciting new fundraising ideas hello Patriots I'm former vice president Mike Pence as some of you may have heard I'm running for president although it appears many of you have not heard that because my campaign's a little tight on El derero at the moment that's why we're rolling up our sleeves and having a good oldfashioned Pence for president yard sale this weekend grab a piece of Pence history like the Fonzi jacket I wore when I stared down Kim Jong-un the dungar I wear when I'm around common human folk yeeha my favorite milk cup my second favorite milk cup my Jesus his king-sized bed sheets and the special shoes that allow me to run and clap at the same time be sure to come early because the first hundred Shoppers get a bowl of Mother's famous home booil plain noodles and butter Mama Mia that doesn't give you a pepperoni in your Dockers good luck come one and all to the Pence for president yard sale no reasonable offer will be refused all proceeds are split between the Pence campaign and the United States space force oh if those Jesus cheeks could [Applause] talk

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 1,955,260

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Cold Open, Donald Trump, Trump, Trump Trial, Gag Order, Mar-A-Lago, Speaker of the House, Jim Jordan, Trump Lawyers, Democrats, Republicans, House of Representatives, Kevin McCarthy, Matt Gaetz, Joe Biden, Israel, Waka Flocka Flame, Mitt Romney, Oprah, Mike Pence, George Santos

Id: RHiH9mlyy0Q

Length: 11min 40sec (700 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 18 2023