Jerry Pretends To Be Married | The Wife | Seinfeld

i've been looking all over for this boy it's a lucky thing i put the jacket on but how did it get in the pocket well you see here the chain is broken it must have slipped in when i was uh wow might turn my house upside down looking for this that's all i have left of her touching you know what i'm going to do for you i'm going to give you and your family 25 off all your dry cleaning oh come on what are you talking about it's silly hey forget it get out of here it's done all right well i guess i get it too because i'm his wife i didn't know you were married oh yeah uh do you remember my wife uh meryl merrill seinfeld yeah sure you get the discount too you might regret that because the money my wife spends on clothes shaking him with the cleaners is he such a humor come here i'm so nuts about you i'll tell you it was fun being single but when you meet a woman like this you don't walk to get married you run jerry uncle hello hello so if you or your wife want to drop by on wednesday you should be ready your wife yeah my wife what are you talking about uh i got married you got married i wasn't invited nobody sends me an invitation well it was sudden are you ashamed of your uncle do i embarrass you no no it was a small ceremony haven't they always been their good uncles yes you have who told you when you went to school that you print well you did you did when he was younger he had a beautiful penmanship i used to encourage him to print i'm a good printer i remember your v it was like a perfect triangle honey could you give me 723 [Applause] you're right there come on i'm sitting honey what'd you do with the can opener i didn't do anything with it well it's not here it was here yesterday it's in the first door i'm looking in the first drawer it's not here yes it is hey i'm not stupid i'm looking in that drawer there's no can opener did i say you were stupid well wouldn't i have to be you tell me there's a cane opener in the drawer i'm looking in the drawer there's no can opener what other conclusion could one reach you want me to go find it yes i do you show me where there's a can opener in that drawer hello i'm sorry i'm just fighting with my wife jerry we just heard what's going on why the hell didn't you tell us listen mom i was in here yesterday yeah that's what i said who is she when did this happen i told her you'd get married she thought you'd never do it morty you're talking too loud i'm not talking loud you're hurting my eardrum well you must have done something with it i'm on the phone is she there can we talk to her what's her name mom i'm not married what i'm not married i know it i told you uncle leo said i'm just pretending i'm married to get a discount on dry cleaning how much would it cost to clean this oh uh about 13 13 well i can't afford that oh well i'm sorry i can't let you do this i want to but it isn't right i can't give me the clothes jerry please what about her oh the hell with her ah no joy please i'm not gonna let you walk out of my life i can't fight you your 25 discount it comes to 1780. excuse me this isn't mine oh yes it is it's your husband brought it in himself really you son of a i'm sorry who is she i want to know who she is it doesn't matter i want a divorce a divorce oh so you can marry her and give her the discount yes that's right what happened to us jerry i'll tell you what happened we got married

Channel: Seinfeld

Views: 317,930

Keywords: seinfeld, seinfeld theme, seinfeld bloopers, jerry seinfeld, seinfeld full episodes, jerry seinfeld stand up, seinfeld the contest, seinfeld stand up, best of seinfeld, larry david, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Wayne Knight, Patrick Warburton, seinfeld best moments, seinfeld man hands, Seinfeld soup, Seinfeld the race, seinfeld newman, seinfeld shrinkage, The Wife, Courtney Cox, Married, Joseph Ragno, Len Lesser, Uncle Leo, Liz Sheridan

Id: a4Noek9BqE8

Length: 5min 10sec (310 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 02 2022