WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW"! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT BECAUSE MY FIRST
GUEST IS AN ACADEMY AWARD WINNER YOU KNOW FROM THE HUNGER GAMES,
"AMERICAN HUSTLE" AND "SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK." SHE NOW STARS IN THE UPCOMING
FILM "RED SPARROW." >> I'M SKEWERROUS, ARE YOU
FOLLOWING ME OR ARE YOU JUST CLUMSY. >> YOU THINK WE'RE SO INTERESTED
IN YOU. >> WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO BECOME
A TRANSLATOR. >> IF I WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT,
THE STATE HELPS ME TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER. MY UNCLE HELPED ME GET THE JOB. >> HE IS A VERY POWERFUL MAN. IN MY COUNTRY, IF YOU DO NOT
MATTER TO THE MAN IN POWER, YOU DO NOT MATTER. >> I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. WHY, ARE WE GOING TO BECOME
FRIENDS? >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME
JENNIFER LAWRENCE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING ) >> PRETTY SUCCESSFUL! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN. THANKS FOR COMING BACK. >> IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. THANKS FOR HAVING ME. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE BEEN ON A
LIEUTENANT OF TALK SHOWS, BUT YOU'VE HAD AN EXPERIENCE SINCE
THE LAST TIME WE WERE TOGETHER THAT --
>> OH, GOD... >> Stephen: NO, MADE YOU AN
AFICIONADO OF TALK SHOWS IN THE WAY SOME AREN'T BECAUSE YOU TOOK
OVER FOR JIMMY KIMMEL WHEN HE WAS OUT FOR THE SURGERY OF HIS
SON. >> OOH, GONNA MAKE MY NOSEBLEED. >> Stephen: THERE YOU ARE
TALKING TO KIM KARDASHIAN. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WHAT DID YOU MAKE OF THE EXPERIENCE? NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS, IS IT? >> PRETTY EASY. NOT THAT HARD. ( LAUGHTER )
I'M JUST KIDDING. THE ONLY THING THEY KEPT TELLING
ME, THERE IS A CLOCK BEHIND HER HEAD. IF SHE'S TALKING, TRY TO WRAP IT
UP. >> Stephen: A CLOCK? A 5-MINUTE. >> Stephen: LIKE RIGHT OVER
HERE? THERE'S A CLOCK --
>> YEAH, LOOK OUT THE WINDOW. >> Stephen: YEAH THERE'S A
CLOCK RIGHT BEHIND HER? >> THERE'S A CLOCK. THEY WERE, LIKE, WHEN SHE GETS
TO THE END OR IT STARTS COUNTING DOWN, WRAP IT UP, WE'LL GO TO
COMMERCIAL. WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE AND SHE
WAS SHOOTING ME DOWN LIKE A CONGRESSWOMAN. I LOOKED AT MY LIST AND I'M OUT
OF QUESTIONS, AND I HAD FIVE MINUTES. I'M, LIKE, DO YOU WEAR SOCKS TO
SLEEP ANY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO ASK. >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE A
DRINK? >> SURE. >> Stephen: OKAY. I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. HOW DOES THIS OPEN? >> OKAY, YOU'RE JUST MESSING
WITH ME. OH, MY GOD! YOU REALLY DO HAVE IT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THIS WILL WORK! THIS WILL BRING MY SOUL BACK, I
KNOW UT! COOL! >> Stephen: I KEEP ATE WILLLE
SOMETHING BACK THERE IN CASE SOMEONE WANTS SOMETHING. >> IN CASE SOMEONE'S HAVING
MENTAL BREAKDOWN, PERFECT. >> Stephen: THIS IS CUBAN RUM,
IN CASE YOU -- >> OH, IT'S RUM? >> Stephen: YEAH. I HAVE BOURBON. >> YEAH, IT'S FINE. >> Stephen: OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S ALCOHOL. >> Stephen: OKAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH. OH... ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
SORRY. OH, LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE. >> Stephen: WHAT HAVE WE GOT
HERE? YOU'RE TAKING A YEAR OFF? >> YEAH. >> Stephen: WHY. BECAUSE I'M SO MISERABLE. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU'RE -- >> I'M STILL DEVELOPING THINGS. I'M NOT GOING TO BE, LIKE, ON
SET. IT'S NOT GOING TO BE A
DRAMATIC -- OHER GOD, HERE WE GO! ( LAUGHTER )
I HAVE A PREMIERE TONIGHT. I GUESS I HAVE TO CANCEL IT. ( LAUGHTER )
I DON'T KNOW, I'LL BE DEVELOPING THINGS AND TALKING TO KIDS
ABOUT, YOU KNOW, CORRUPTION. >> Stephen: YOU WILL BE
DEVELOPING THINGS AND TALKING TO KIDS ABOUT CORRUPTION? >> YEAH. >> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT
MEAN? >> I'M A PART OF AN ORGANIZATION
TRYING TO PASS THE STATE BY STATE LEGISLATION TO GET BIG
MONEY OUT OF POLITICS ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SO I GO TO THIS HIGH SCHOOL TO, LIKE, TALK TO KIDS ABOUT, YOU
KNOW, THE GOVERNMENT AND SUPER PACS AND BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
AND, SO, I HAVE BEEN -- YOU KNOW, WHEN TRUMP GOT ELECTED MY
HEAD SPUN OFF. I READ ALL THESE BOOKS AND I
REALLY LEARNED MYSELF GOOD ABOUT OUR GOVERNMENT AND ABOUT TWEEDEN
AND NORWAY'S TRUST IN THEIR GOVERNMENT VERSUS AMERICA'S. EDUCATED MYSELF FULLY. FLY TO OHIO, GO TO A HIGH
SCHOOL. FIRST QUESTION, I WAS, LIKE, UM,
I DON'T KNOW. THEY WERE SO SMART. I WAS LIKE, WELL, I CAN'T GO TO
COLLEGES ANYMORE. I'M GOING TO START GETTING
TODDLERS INTO POLITICS. ( LAUGHTER )
START A GRASSROOTS LEVEL. >> Stephen: SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD
THING TO DO. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: OKAY, SO SPEAKING
OF, LIKE, POLITICS AND CORRUPTION, YOU RECENTLY WERE
ILL-USED IN THE DEFENSE OF HARVEY WEINSTEIN. >> YES! >> Stephen: OKAY. I WAS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HE IS JUST THAT HORRIBLE ASS BOIL THAT DOES NOT GO AWAY. YOU POP THE ASS BOIL, HE'S JUST
THE WORST. WHEN IS IT GOING TO END? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT I
COME UP WITH A STATEMENT IN LONDON, AND I'M, LIKE, IT'S
STILL NOT OVER? THE AWFULNESS IS STILL
HAPPENING? >> Stephen: IN HIS DEFENSE. HIS DEFENSE? >> Stephen: HIS LAWYERS, NOT
ME. >> OKAY. >> Stephen: HIS LAWYERS SAID,
HEY, MERYL STREEP ONCE SAID SOMETHING NICE ABOUT HIM AND
JENNIFER LAWRENCE SAID I WAS NICE TO HER. HE DRAGS YOU INTO HIS PILE OF
(BLEEP). >> YEAH. >> Stephen: YEAH. EVERYBODY DOES. I'M VERY LUCKY. >> Stephen: IS THIS WHY YOU'RE
TAKING A YEAR OFF? >> NO, IT'S BY COINCIDENCE. I LOVE MY JOB AND I'M VERY
HAPPY. ( LAUGHTER )
I LOVE ACTING. PRESS TOURS GIVE YOU THIS
CRESCENDO MOMENT. >> Stephen: SURE. IT'S LIKE IT CRESCENDOS. >> Stephen: THIS IS GOOD,
THOUGH, ISN'T IT? >> ACTUALLY TURNS OUT I REALLY
LIKE RUM. YOU KNOW, I LIKE VACATION ME SO
WHY WOULDN'T I LIKE RUM? >> Stephen: I WANT TO GO ON
VACATION WITH YOU! >> MY VACATION ME'S NAME IS
GAYLE. I WISH TO GOD I HAD A PHOTO OF
HER. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A
DIFFERENT PERSONA WHEN YOU'RE ON VACATION? >> APPARENTLY. >> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT? >> IT'S ALL ONE PHOTO. IT'S TOO LATE TO GET IT, ISN'T
IT? I WANTED TO LOOK CUTE. DO YOU HAVE IT? >> Stephen: I HAVE THIS. AMY GOT MARRIED. >> Stephen: THIS IS AMY
SCHUMER'S WEDDING AND YOU WERE THERE. >> YES. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU LIKE
AT THE WEDDING? >> WELL, AMY SAID I SCARED
PEOPLE. >> Stephen: WHY WOULD THAT BE? I DEFINITELY CAN'T TELL YOU. I THINK IT WAS JUST A
CONVERSATION. >> Stephen: I THINK YOU HAVE
TO. >> NO, I CAN'T. BRIDGET EVERETT AND I WERE
TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LOVE OUR JOBS AND --
>> Stephen: YOU AND WHO? BRIDGET EVERETT AND I WERE
TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LOVE OUR DOGS AND I WENT TOO FAR TO
SAY WHAT I WOULD DO TO MAKE MY DOG HAPPY AND IT DIDN'T
TRANSLATE AND WENT TOO FAR. ( LAUGHTER )
I WAS FLIRTING WITH LARRY DAVID ALL NIGHT BUT VERY ONE-SIDED. I'M OBSESSED WITH HI, HE'S NOT
OBSESSED WITH ME. >> Stephen: HE'S DEAD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT MAN? >> AMY COMES AND GRABS ME AFTER
THE CEREMONY AND SAYS LET'S GO UP AND TALK ABOUT LIFE AND LOVE
AND HER GIANT DECISION SHE MADE. WE GO TO THE ROOF AND SHE'S
TALKING. AND I SAID, AMY, EVERY MINUTE
I'M HERE, LARRY COULD BE LEAVING AND SHE SAID YOU'RE AN UNENDING
(BLEEP), BUT GO DOWNSTAIRS. >> Stephen: DOES LARRY KNOW
THIS CRUSH? >> I FEEL LIKE -- UM, YES, BUT I
DON'T HAVE HIS NUMBER AND HE DOESN'T FLIRT BACK WITH ME WHICH
IS JUST LIKE FUEL FOR ME. THAT JUST GETS ME GOING. >> Stephen: YOU LIKE A
CHALLENGE? >> YEAH. I LOVE RUM! BIG RUM GUY TURNS OUT. I DIDN'T KNOW. >> Stephen: SOMEWHERE IN
AMERICA LARRY DAVID JUST DID THIS! ( LAUGHTER )
WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BREAK. PLEASE SIT THERE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. THANK YOU! JENNIFER LAWRENCE!
It should be noted that Patton Oswalt came out next and did the exact same thing for shits and giggles.
Alright, is no one going to talk about how awful that russian accent was?!?
Doesn't quite top that Graham Norton interview with Matt Damon, Bill Murray and Hugh Bonneville.
guys remind me, does the Internet love her or hate her this week? I can't keep up
This is at (or near) the end of her publicity tour for that 'Red Sparrow' movie, so she's understandably exhausted, but I was struck by how many times she 'joked' about how much she hates her life.
No one is going to appreciate this comment, but I'm in awe of whoever her makeup artist is. JLaw doesn't really have a defined face and her hooded eyes make it so eyeshadow gets hidden when her eyes are open (I also have hooded eyes so I would know), but they've done a really good job with her makeup here. Her contouring looks great, her cheekbones are highlighted, she has a shit ton of product on her eyes but it opens them up and makes her look sultry.
Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOTLVy7kgXA
This needs to be a new trend. Come on the show, have a few drinks, bullshit about life. Maybe a new show where the host is a bar tender and the guests come on and just chill. Maybe a couple different celebrities sitting at the bar hanging out.
While this was entertaining to watch, I always struggle to take things like that at face value.
Famous actors in general are essentially the CEOs of multi-million-dollar-companies, revolving around themselves and their public image. The idea that they would perform what is essentially a major part of their job (giving an interview) while getting drunk seems absurd on the face of it.
With JL in particular, the "I am so down to earth, so quirky I could be the girl next door"-angle is very much central to her image. This interview fits that narrative so perfectly, it makes me wonder if it wasn't all staged and calculated. Frankly, that would be a much more sensible business decision than getting drunk on national television.
Maybe I am being cynical here, but I think it's more likely there was apple juice in that bottle.