It's asymmetrical. It's... You're getting it, that's right. Right on the nose. That's it. Asymmetrical. I used to... [Crowd laughs] I used to try to-- This is a terrifying interview. So you're saying-- you know I'm
offended by a little bit as people are surprised. That's what I'm offended by. I wasn't surprised. No.. Yes you were you're very: Ooooh ohh, you're very --- ooohh.. I was not! In your head area you look handsome and like you would have a six-pack or an 18 pack or whatever. What? You can tell by looking at my head area that I would have a six pack? We just found out he's an alien! You are handsome in your head area. Conan: You are
talking like someone from another planet. Pardon my phraseology. It's oh look at you... Conan: What?! [Crowd laughter] You're a little attracted! That's okay. I think we're... that's okay! [Crowd Laughter] You do? Yeah. OH I do too. OH I almost choked on my
Halls cough drop. There it is. This is the weirdest interview [crowd laughter] I've ever experienced. You almost choked! Jeff: That's gonna go viral. Conan: That's gonna go vir---Look! Look at that! I like you a lot
you've been coming on as a guest for many years. Jeff: I like you a lot too. We've established there is an attraction
and so I'm sorry you almost died seconds ago. Have you decided to "munch some candy" out
here during... That was inappropriate I'm sorry I apologize.
Conan: Yeah. Jeff: Wait but it was a Hall's it was a Hall's. halls and I thought that being a little
um mentholated would give me some vocal warmth and a nice a nice a ... you know you
want everything uh... You're getting money from the Halls people aren't you! That was a total plug! Jeff: No, no, no. I've never seen a more obvious... Well I... I did almost choke it was a HALLS. Look at that well formed calf. Look at these two together. Put them together look at that. Well don't touch them!! What are you doing?! That's a hell of a nice thing. Sweet sweet. Now you go with the black sock, with the dressy black sock... Who are you? You know that I like to examine you... hmmm What are you doing? Jeff: What happened here on your thumbnail? What happened there? Uhhh okay I guess it's your show and you're asking the questions. I know I've had a cracked thumbnail for many many years.
Jeff: Look look what I have we're in common. I love that you threw your glasses let me
try those out these are very Jeff "goldblumy" glasses. You're very like: Oooh hmmm yes... I love that... you're so good... so good. So good--- look at that! Oooooh What what are you..? Jeff: I was looking at the bottom of your shoe. Conan: Why? Because you notice strange things--
you're looking at thumbnails, the bottom of a shoe. Jeff: I'm like Sherlock Holmes in
many ways. A lovely shoe shoe repair shop Conan: Why do you keep throwing your glasses at me? Jeff: What am
I gonna do with them. Conan: Well, I'm not using this pen right now! Jeff: Hey! Don't break my glasses! You know Emily Livingston she was in the
Olympics. Conan: Did you just burp while you were saying...? Emily got into a little accident that I
was very upset about. Conan: Say her full name and burp come on. Jeff: Emily Livingston. Ooooh, hello Mr. Owl. Jeff: That's scary.
how about... What's scary? What--what scared you? Jeff: Well that huge globe look at that! That's the moon! Jeff: Yeah but I've never seen it
that close we've seen... Conan: You've never seen the moon before?! Jeff: Not that close! Conan: What's that strange orb in the sky at night?! Put it in my pocket, catch a falling star and put it in my pocket never let me go... What are you looking for? Conan: I want to call
the police. This whole thing-- I don't think any of this is airable, ladies and gentleman, I have to tell you right now. I don't really do a form of impression, I just notice that hmmmm, yooouu uhhhhh ooooo , there's a lot of noises... ooohh Do you know what I mean? I need your glasses to do an impression: ooohh uhhh and so that's the part I like which are these little noises you make. Do you notice these two hinges there?
Conan: Sure. I don't really notice things that but yes okay two hinges yes you notice
everything. Conan: Okay. Jeff: So do I. [purring noises] Kiss me, hmm. No anyway... he's a very sensual man now look at him
he's stroking the furniture. Jeff: I am, I am. --That's what I'm curious about. Jeff: Uuuuh no no no,
he's sweet. Conan: I love it when you "uuuhhh no no no" You have writing in here I don't have... Jeff: Can you see what that says? Conan: I do can you see what that says those glasses won't help you. Conan: Oh my God
you're blind! This is insane. This is crazy! The audience looks like a
cloud of beef bouillon right now. You're saying it's inconsistent. Jeff: no no no. You
misunderstand. It's asymmetrical. It's... Jeff: You're getting it, that's right. Right on the nose. That's it. Asymmetrical. I used to.... I used to try.... Conan: a terrifying interview my My girlfriend actually Emily Livingston
she's ... Conan: This is not how you tell a secret. You don't do this into a TV
camera: I'll tell you something but don't tell anybody. Jeff: Bless your heart, yeah she's... Andy: Bless your heart just mean "F--- you" Emily learned first: She stood in the store in front of me and breathed
her sweet breath on my face and tied my tie. Conan: How erotic! She's very erotic, yes. I have no secret I
have no secret... sleep I like sleep I think you just nodded off almost for a
second there I thought you were going to sleep. Yeah cuz look, may I could... Conan: Don't throw your glasses at me! Did you see that? He just
contemptuously tossed his glasses at There was no contempt you're projecting
that entirely. Conan: DAAA, now I look good! Ask me how I enjoyed the party last night. Jeff: How'd you enjoy the party last night? Conan: It was pretty good!!! Well I think you're wrong about that you
need all this help. Sorry oh for God I I'll take these away from you, I'll have these
Andy: You gave the child his toy again. Well I, you know, you look good to me now
you know, you're clear glasses wise [purring again] Ooohuuuhh . Jeff: Oh look at that! Conan: What are yo---? These are the least profession interviews I ever have when you're on the show. I apologize to everyone this probably
won't air. uuuuh
