Jay Shetty On How To Think Like A Monk | Personal Life, Relationship, Bhagavad Gita Lessons | TRS 73

dude i feel stressed i feel pressure i still have bad mood swings sometimes but that's part of it and and that reminds you how far you have to go and it keeps you humble and it keeps you grounded and also it helps you empathize with people more because if you never felt that way and then someone tells me if a young person comes up to me and says jay i feel stressed and i'm like oh come on just get over it like there is no such thing as stress that's not true and so i find that when i feel stressed or fearful or anxious i explore it a little deeper so that next time someone says that to me i can actually feel empathy and compassion for them because i know how it feels [Music] jai shetty my brother it's an honor having you on the ranvir show there's also so much that people like myself motivation speakers all over the world content creators all over the world have picked up from you firstly congratulations on your book it's come out it's become a best seller and uh secondly thank you man like you i don't i'm sure you know the value you spread out but i'm not 100 sure if you know about the magnitude of the value you spread in the world well i want to thank you man i've been a fan of watching you and seeing what you've been doing and it's really inspiring and so i'm grateful to be live with you man this is uh this is my honor and keep doing what you're doing you're having such a big impact yourself and i'm glad that we're getting to do something together i can't wait to meet you in person likewise brother i'm sure if this whole pandemic situation hadn't happened you would have probably been in india at this point definitely um with which is going to be a theme on this podcast there's a lot of indian fans of yours watching this um the big question to you is what has this country and this culture and this heritage giving you that you carry through into your career into your work into the jai shetty who's staying in los angeles and talking to the kardashians and athletes what is indian culture given to that person yeah so i was born and raised in london but of course my heritage is indian my father was born in pune but originally from mangalore and my mother was actually born in yemen but she's gujarati so there's a big quadratic community that grew up in yemen and for me india has given me every piece of wisdom that i try and share that i'm trying to extend out to the world all comes from the texts of india so whether it's the bhagavad-gita whether it's the vaders whether it's any of those amazing literatures and i think also that incredible understanding of growing up in an indian home with good hospitality uh good values uh the ability to welcome others into your life to to want to serve others to want to have a positive impact on others so really i would say that everything that i'm doing is fueled by the incredible culture and love that i receive from windy india through its books and text but also through the people so jay i want to ask you a lot more about the books but i gotta know about your time spent in an indian ashram as a monk how did you land up in that specific ashram and where was it yeah absolutely so i was studying in london and i was really interested by people's motivational journeys people who went from nothing to something and it wasn't the material success i was impressed by i was impressed by people who had sacrificed who'd broken through depression who'd really worked on themselves and so i was reading biographies and autobiographies and i would go and hear people speak because i was really inspired by listening to amazing people with great insights and once i was invited to hear this monk speak and and i thought what am i going to learn from a monk you know like what do monks have to teach and i went along anyway because i told my friends and and i know your your tag name is beer biceps so i told i told the team that i told my friends sorry that i would only go if we went to have a drink afterwards and and they agreed with me and so we went to this event to hear this monk speak and the monk was from india his name was gauranga das he uh went to iit but had given up his degree to become a monk and so i thought you either have to be really crazy or really smart because why would you do that why would you give up your degree at iit to become a monk and so i got really interested by his sacrifice and and his choice and so i started asking him questions and spending time with him and at the time he was starting a new project which was two hours outside of mumbai uh in i believe it's in the vicinity of palgar but the area is called vada and this new project was to provide villages with a proper functioning village a sustainable community and a livelihood to actually give back to the communities to teach people there about business agriculture to really help them make the most of their lives and it was being constructed by monks and so i got completely uh blown away by the fact that these monks were not only going deep and doing meditation but they were also serving and helping the world and and i thought to myself that how beautiful is that that you can do both you can take care of your mind and take care of your own inner life but that you can also try and make a difference in the world and that's why i ended up in that monastery and that ashram because i saw this perfect balance of self-care and self-mastery balanced with service and philanthropy and giving back to the world beautiful jay i have to ask you this one question i have always uh thought about when i watch your content which is that it comes out of an extremely deep place and often if a human being has the ability to think that deep or right that deep uh it's it's kind of uh almost always the case where uh the human beings also had like kind of a dark past so has your past had any darkness in it like have you gone through i'm sure you have you've had some baggage in the past possibly you know you've let go of it now through all the meditation you do through the work you do uh because content cures the content creator but uh i wanna i wanna take you like way before you became a content creator was there any like darkness in your life yeah so from a very very early on i remember being bullied at school and i was around i was probably around like five six years old when i started to get bullied and i used to get bullied because i was overweight and i was one of the few indian people in my class so i think in my whole school at five six years old i was one of three indian people maybe maybe even just four of us and so i was bullied for being overweight for being indian and people weren't used to seeing indian people in my area uh i was i was always overweight growing up as a child so people would bully me about the way i looked and and my weight and that was that was definitely difficult to go through as a young person because you know for you you don't understand any of that at that time like to you it's like oh i was born with this skin and this color and i i don't i don't know if i should you know you're not thinking at six years old about having a six-pack you're just happy with whatever you have and so that was definitely tough and then even in my teenage years i started to get involved in the wrong circles because i never felt i really had like an older brother figure i'm the eldest i have a younger sister i didn't really have anyone older that was guiding me or helping me or supporting me and so i definitely felt that i got involved in the wrong circles and some of those wrong circles ended up in getting involved in everything from drugs through to you know fights and and that sort of scenario and that was very dark because i've always been a good person at heart and i never wanted to be into hurting anyone or fights or drugs or any of that stuff i'm not it's not really my natural inclination and so when you find yourself in those places and you don't know what's happening next that was a dark place and and beyond all of that i think the darkest thing was just that i constantly felt like no one really understood my decisions and i think for all of us not just for me i think the darkest place to live is where you feel people don't understand you and and i think a lot of people today that go through mental health challenges or depression or stress or pressure it's because they feel no one understands them and and the truth is that those are sometimes the most powerful moments of our life because it's when people don't understand you that you try to take the time to really try and understand yourself and and that's where so much strength comes from is understanding yourself and taking the time to validate yourself yeah 100 man um now you said that you know the books from india inspire you one of the concepts that i've picked up from those books it's kind of like a deep concept but uh it basically said that the rewards that you receive in life are equally a result of your hard work but also your karma how good you've been as a person how honest you've been as a person how truthful you've been um you have broken out as a content creator all over the world and there's a lot of other people who are trying to do what you're doing there have been tons of other people so i want to ask you from this perspective of this learning what have you done correct in life have you been guided by the right people have you constantly kind of held on to your own ideals your own ethics like what's gone right for you according to yourself yeah yeah good question i i'd say that in in my heart and my intention i've i've only wanted to do good for others and serve others and support others so whenever i even when i started creating content or even when i worked in the city or when i became a monk my my intention was always to serve and to help others my intention was never motivated by uh big results or anything that's happened in my life today i never thought it would happen and and i never even believed that that was the goal or that was the reason i was doing it the reason i was doing it was i believed that i uncovered this incredible wisdom and i wanted to share it that was it and so i think sometimes our intention gets uh dirty or messy uh sometimes really our intention is ego driven or sometimes it's money driven or sometimes it's results driven and none of those things are bad you can have money you can be famous you can be successful but if that is your reason for doing it if that is your intention for doing it it won't satisfy you even if you get there and actually if you do it for a deeper reason you'll probably get there faster and you'll be happier when you actually receive it and so one thing for me is and i work on this every day it's not that i've mastered it but every day i'm working on my intention to always be of service to always want to help so that's one thing the second thing i'd say is that i met all the best teachers and mentors in my life the coaches and the guides that i have in my life they all always remind me of how far i have to go so i'm not surrounded by yes people i'm surrounded by people who will say jay this is great but how deep is your meditation well this is great but but how much have you really overcome your ego so they're always checking me in a positive way they encourage me they give me hope but they also humble me at the same time and i think that having people like that in your life who know your passion and your purpose but they also know how to bring out your greatest potential is really important and and the third thing i'd say is that i've really worked on my craft i think people forget that you know i was fortunate enough to go to public speaking school from age 11 through to age 18 because my parents forced me so i've done seven years of public speaking training from the age of 18 to 28 i gave lectures and classes for three hours a day when i had zero followers and made zero money and had no online following so i was doing it because i loved it and i didn't even know that anyone would ever care but for 10 years from age 18 to 28 every day i was studying learning speaking sharing and most importantly it's only sharing what you're applying in your life so sometimes we we try and share ideas that we haven't experienced yet and and for me it's always been to try and share ideas that i'm practicing and experimenting and trying to learn and i and i think that works so these are all things that i haven't mastered but they're things that i'm constantly working on but i think they're sometimes forgotten when people see the last four years but we don't look at the last 15 years and then you miss out on that journey 100 uh according to you is your life easy or difficult today that's a good question you're brilliant by the way i love watching so i've watched a lot of your interviews i think you're great uh is is my life easy or difficult i would say that my life is can i i mean i um okay i don't want to give you that answer because i would challenge if someone gave me that answer i would challenge them as well i would say that my life is um i would say my life is purposeful which has both elements so so what i mean by that is my life is easy because i know what i want to do what i stand for i know what i believe in but it's difficult because i have to put in hours i have to put in work i have to be organized i have to live a disciplined life but discipline funnily enough actually makes life easier so people think discipline is difficult but but the result of discipline is that life becomes easier and so waking up every day and meditating or going to the gym is difficult it's difficult it's not easy it's it's challenging but the result of that is life becomes easier so i'd say that i'm dedicated to difficult discipline but that because it's purposeful and it has meaning become makes life easier to live if that answers your question it does it does but um and i'm asking you this for selfish reasons because i i have i have difficult days even today you know with with so many blessings around me established businesses there are days where i'll wake up not feeling completely motivated slash not feeling completely worthy uh i'm just asking you this kind of as a younger brother oh yeah for sure bro for sure i still have that i wake up days where i feel stressed where i feel under pressure where i feel like i've just got so much to do and you know i haven't got the support i need or you know all of that like i i experience all of that and and what i say to people is that training your mind and your body is not about never feeling that way again it's not that one day that won't happen it's that you let it affect you for less time so in the past you and me maybe when it happened when bad things would happen you'd be thinking about it for like a whole month but now when something happens you think about it for a week and then in a year from now you'll think about it for one day and then in a year from now you'll think about it for one hour and then a year from now you'll think about it for one minute and that's the goal the goal is not to never feel stress the goal is to feel it for less and less time because the point is that most of us allow stress and pressure to consume us and so the less you let it consume you is the goal but the problem is that when you have the goal that i should wake up and feel perfect every day that goal puts its own pressure and stress into your life so i wake up man i i'm with you like as as you said as a younger brother which i appreciate you saying that means a lot to me but as as an older brother like i would say dude i feel stressed i feel pressure i still have bad mood swings sometimes but that's part of it and and that reminds you how far you have to go and it keeps you humble and it keeps you grounded and also it helps you empathize with people more because if you never felt that way and then someone tells me if a young person comes up to me and says jay i feel stressed and i'm like oh come on just get over it like there is no such thing as stress that's not true and so i find that when i feel stressed or fearful or anxious i explore it a little deeper so that next time someone says that to me i can actually feel empathy and compassion for them because i know how it feels and so actually i i actually feel like going through pain is the best thing for a content creator because that's how you truly empathize with people if you don't go through pain then you can never relate to anyone i've got to ask you another tough question now where do you see jay shetty at age 80 so hopefully i'm still somewhat healthy and alive that's that's the first thing i would like to see myself as healthy and alive and i would hope that i've truly been able to serve and support the leaders of the next generation so i truly believe that i'm not the smartest person in the world and i'm not going to invent everything that's needed in the world but if i can be someone who is behind those people and support them and encourage them and guide them and and keep refining their intention with them then that would be my greatest offering that if if we can discover the talent of this world and encourage those people to become leaders to really build a a just world a collaborative world a world where humans recognize their similarities more than their differences but celebrate their differences to me to me if we can find those leaders and invest in them and nourish them and and support them and serve them then we'll see some amazing change in the world so at age 80 i hope that that's what i get to do and i hope that i'm surrounded by lots of people who want to change the world and in a positive way and that i can be of some use to them that's gorgeous and you're already on that path i'm sure you've already affected a lot of lives um i was reading this book yesterday it's called 21 lessons from the 21st century it's by you well noah yeah and he's he's got a chapter in there about god and he's spoken about how the term god is kind of got a negative connotation in the modern day often because people associate the term god with really radical religious groups that you know will use the term god as to put their own intense uh ideals out there so uh firstly what's your uh sense of god like what's your definition of it and uh secondly like how do you think the world is gonna change its own definition of god going forward that's a great question so yuval noah harari came on my podcast actually so i spoke to him uh and he's phenomenal he's actually a really incredibly deep person as well he meditates strongly about i think he goes away into hiding for about 60 days a year to just meditate so he's phenomenal and we've had we've had some really nice conversations offline as well uh so yeah big fan of his book and big fan of him um but yeah i think your question is really good and i think what he's saying is really important to me god is at the very essence of it god is the recognition that there is a source and a power and an energy that is divine and there's something beyond us something beyond us something inside of us and something that connects everything in the universe and so at the very essence of that god god is uh has has that recognition of the understanding of something beyond us something within us and something around us and to me whether you then for specific people giving god a name giving those are beautiful things i truly believe that uh god is a supreme personality um and and is someone that you can have a relationship with and so i think that to me whether you have a relationship with the universe whether you focus on having a relationship with your inner self or you're focused on having a relationship with a a supreme personality or a divine source it's all about a relationship it's not about fear it's not about anxiety it's not about pressure it's not about being scared of god it's not about it's about building a relationship with something that is beyond us and i think that the reason why the definition of god will change as as the world goes on is i think people got really affected by the rules and the ritualistic practices that made people lose the essence of what this really was uh and i think for all of us in our generation you know i i think we all want to be more spiritual and conscious uh but we want to do it from a deep place not just a following rules space uh and and i also think that it will change because we have to find a we all need a path if you look at some of the most successful athletes musicians most accomplished people in the world they all have a deep faith or spiritual practice so you'll see that meditation prayer all of these practices are deep parts of some of the most happy and successful people in the world and so for me the more personal it becomes the more um the more individual it becomes it will become a really really beautiful thing in people's lives yeah that's the big hope honestly like i remember on a very personal level i had an ayahuasca experience which completely changed my definition of god when i was 22. i was very lucky to have that experience really early in life uh shifted a lot of things for me and as my career has kind of gone forward i've honestly seen miracles happen around me that are only believable when it happens to you and you're in my shoes and you've seen my journey but even today i have like some fantastic kids who we recruit for our companies and all who maybe initially don't have a sense of god and slowly they develop it and kind of becomes a huge anchor for them through their own journeys so that's my big hope man like i i hope that content creators are kind of able to uh put that idea out there not in a forceful way but in exactly the way you did it so from this question i got what i wanted but uh man i gotta move on to the next uh big question which is meditation firstly what kind of meditation do you practice today and what's the end goal of meditation this is a very common question on the indian internet like what happens at the end of it yeah okay so i practice three types of meditation breath work visualization and then mantra uh because i think all of them have different uses in my life so breath work i practice when i feel stress pressure any sort of anxiety breath work is the best way to have an immediate response so for example let's say i'm going on stage in front of thousands of people and i'm feeling a little nervous then i will just breathe in for a count of four and i'll breathe out for more than four and i'll feel absolutely set and i'll feel ready to go out and i've done that time and time again whenever i'm in that situation visualization is is really powerful uh it can be used for a few things so one of the first things i use visualization for is if and i've worked with clients with it as well so let's say someone is upset about the last thing they said to someone who passed away or was not in their life anymore and they can't say what they wanted to say visualization is an incredible way to revisit the past and and change how you behaved in that situation it doesn't change your life but it changes the experience of that memory so that's one way of using visualization the second way of using visualization is if you think that something's difficult if you visualize yourself doing it over and over again it starts to become easier so i often say to people visualize yourself waking up early visualize yourself working out in the morning don't visualize yourself with a six-pack or a or biceps that's a waste of time but visualize yourself doing the work and when you visualize yourself doing the work you'll start to make it happen in your life because everything that you've created existed here first and the third way that i use visualization is often i will visualize if i'm doing something today like coming on this podcast then what i do sometimes at the beginning of the day is i look at my schedule and i visualize what will be my intention when i come to each thing that i'm doing and so that i'm already prepared so that when i come to you my intention is already set and i'm ready from that standpoint so that's visualization and the mantra i mean there are so many beautiful mantras in in the vedic literatures and in the gita and and i always recommend to people that to find your own mantra to find your affirmation that becomes your anchor is is truly really beautiful and for me one of my favorite ones that i've been sharing a lot recently from a mantra point of view is the sarva suki no pavantu mantra which is so beautiful because i think the world needs a lot of peace and love and and then my favorite affirmation for myself is i'm exactly where i need to be uh and the reason why i repeat that to myself is because i think we always think we're a head or behind we always think like we're late we're rushing and so i always repeat to myself i'm exactly where i need to be this is where i'm meant to be right now i'm meant to be with you right now this is this is where i am and when you remind yourself that then you're very present now the end of meditation is an interesting question and and the way i would liken that is imagine saying well what is the end of eating food right what is the end of eating food when will it be a point where you never need to eat again because you've eaten enough food and the truth is there is no end to eating food you eat food every day because it fills you up and it nourishes you and it takes care of your body similarly you meditate every day because it gives you more clarity of mind more connection with your soul and more stillness and so in one sense there is no end to meditation like there is no end to anything good in life and i i think we we sometimes mistake meditation or or anything in our life as having an end but the best things in life we eat every day we sleep every day uh you know you have to shower every day like these are habits for daily life and if you say what is the goal of meditation the goal of meditation is to connect to god and your truest self without any other unmotivated or uninterrupted agenda and so the problem right now is that and i give this example in the book this is a beautiful beautiful from from a prayer and it talks about how when you first come across a mirror if you go to a mirror in your loft or in the basement you'll see that it has lots of dust on it and sometimes when we're looking at ourselves right now we don't know who we are because the mirror is dusty and when you start to clean the mirror that's what meditation is meditation is cleaning the mirror when you start cleaning the mirror the first thing that happens is the dust comes in your face so when you first start meditating you might even be like oh god this is so difficult and i can't see anything and i don't understand anything but after cleaning you can see yourself clearly so that is the goal of meditation and meditation is that process of inner cleansing and healing so you can truly see yourself that's a gorgeous answer um if someone wants to get deeper into meditation in general other than you know just creating a habit and uh focusing on your breath what's your advice for that person how do they jump into those advanced meditations yeah my my biggest advice would be and i know that it's difficult right now so i appreciate that but it's really important to go on a one-day retreat or a one-week retreat and just go deep because we live in this world right now where it's like do this for five minutes a day do this for three minutes a day and even sometimes i recommend people to do things for short amounts to make it easy for them but but the truth is let's say you like a guy or a girl like you're thinking about dating them and let's say someone said to you just spend five minutes with her every day just spend five minutes with him every day how long will it take you to figure out whether you love her and whether you want to marry her or whatever it is it will take you your whole life because what are you going to learn in five minutes so similarly meditation the more immersive you get the more deep you get in a in a consistent period of time so i always say to people instead of trying to do meditation once a week for the whole year do it for one week in a full year like in a full go and when you do that you'll feel the benefits like you did in your own experiences you'll feel the benefits and then you'll keep it going for five minutes a day so the biggest mistake we make is we say i'll do it once a month i'll do it once a year do it for seven days and you will feel the benefit if you exercise like i know that you're into fitness if if you want to get fit if you exercise for a week you'll see and feel the benefits and then you'll keep it going but if you say i'll go to the gym once a week once a month you'll never feel the benefits you'll never see the experience and so you'll never get committed to the activity that's gorgeous uh you mentioned marriage and love and relationships i've got to get into that domain with you uh there's a lot of again brotherly questions i want to ask you yeah marriage questions i've got to ask you pre-marriage questions do you believe that men and women have different thought processes or different ways of perceiving the world i i believe that there are definitely masculine and feminine energy and you may find both in both men and women so it's not necessarily that all men think the same and all women think the same but i believe there are more masculine energies and thoughts and more feminine energies and thoughts and we all have a mix of all of them but i do think that we think about things differently yeah for sure i think psychology is far more uh individual than we try and think it is yeah i think and meditation kind of balances you out uh in terms of if you have too much of a masculine thought process it will give you that feminine perspective and vice versa and that's been an experience i've had uh i think i just developed things like empathy compassion endurance um you know love uh emotional expression all these very feminine aspects of thought later after i started meditating meditation and before that uh i had like much more masculine kind of thoughts which are also great bravery determination um you know just strength going for it like taking risks but you'll only be able to live a balanced life when you balance out those two energies inside you yeah that's what i feel do you kind of agree with that i i agree with uh trying to find both of them inside of us for sure like i think they have such powerful uses at different times and actually when you notice them inside yourself you start to appreciate other people more you know i think we all we all grew up in this mindset this negative mindset of like stop being a girl people would say things like that like stop stop being so soft and there's a mistake there because when you say that you are now not noticing the value of that quality and so when you notice both in yourself you start to celebrate that outwardly as well the question about marriage is as a man what do you have to do for your wife like what do you have to change about yourself and i know it's a very broad question so i'm asking you everything from uh you know like do you have to give up on some of your own space i'm sure you have to give it time you have to give it energy but what are those things that you only realize as a guy after you're married so the first thing i'd say is and and i talk about this often that there are four important decisions you make in life and so anyone who's listening or watching right now when you're making any of these decisions don't rush them don't do them out of pressure and don't do them quickly like really think about them so the first one is how you feel about yourself that is one of the biggest decisions you make is how you feel about your own self the second most important decision you make is what you do for money the third most important decision you make is who you give your love to and who gives you love so this question that we're talking about and the fourth one is how you serve the world these are not decisions that should be made out of any other reason apart from personal contemplation so the first thing i'd say is when you like someone that's the time to really think about it so let's go right to the beginning of it right it's like don't wait till marriage to figure out what you're going to have to change because maybe then you'll have to change something you don't want to change so when i met my wife uh radi uh raleigh devloop sherry if anyone follows her on instagram then you you know i follow on instagram i love her content she's amazing she's the best and so when me and her met so we met uh we actually met before i became a monk when we weren't dating i just knew her and then we've been together now for seven years and married for four years so we've spent a bit of time together in our life and when we first met and we were attracted to each other and we liked each other i was really honest with her about who i was and what was important to me in life and this is the first step if you don't know who you are and what's really important to you in life then you'll never know who's right for you and no one can ever know if they're right for you either and so i was really honest i said to you i said my purpose even though at that time i wasn't a content creator i said my purpose is to serve people i want to teach i want to share i i want to focus on developing this part of my life and this is my number one priority in life and she said to me that her number one priority was her family her parents her sister her she loves her mom and dad and her grandmother and she was like that's her her heart in life and i said i promise you that i will always help you get closer to them and you promise me that you'll always help me get closer to this and so it was a really honest conversation now that doesn't mean that it's been easy but it means that we had a direction from the beginning so now if i had a priority with my with my purpose that was coming up and i couldn't go to her family event she respected that and supported me and if i had a big event and then and she couldn't come with me because she had family stuff then i respected her and loved her because the goal of the relationship was get her closer to her goal and she helps me get closer to my goal not that we trade our goals and just work on each other and so actually what you're giving up on is your ego and your sense of control that's really what a relationship is because the ego says well she's my wife she should come with me to this event and see me on stage and me giving these lectures and blah blah blah but that's not true the truth is if i love her i should be helping her get closer to what she matters to her and and same with her she would support me so really what you're giving up is that sense of proprietorship that sense of ego and control because love means understanding the person's goal in love so to me that's what really has been the the guiding force of our marriage and that may change also so i check in with rather and should check in with me like my goal is pretty much stayed the same but if hers changes or evolves i have to change and evolve with that if i love her that's the point and then obviously there are day-to-day things like space and all of that kind of stuff but again if you have a very clear guiding light if you have a very clear direction all of these things kind of just work themselves out and those are the things again you have to discuss like i i always said to radhi that i'm a terrible cook you don't even want me to try and cook like i'm just terrible like that's not my strength it's not my skill and and that was just me being honest with her that doesn't mean i wouldn't if she wanted me to but because that's her passion she that's her that's her purpose and her passion so she's happy to to do that and so i think it's really important in a relationship beginning or middle or wherever you are to just be honest about who you are and what you want and that person to be honest about who they are and what they want and remember you're just trying to help them get closer to their goal it's not about use compromising because what ends up happening in relationships is both the man and the woman or the man and the man or the woman and the woman everyone compromises and when you compromise then you always feel in your heart like oh because of them i gave up what was important to me and that doesn't build a loving relationship yeah 100 uh correct me if i'm wrong and this is something that someone once told me i'm still coming to terms with it and i don't know if it's an actual thing but is it true that um your growth rate needs to match as a partnership because i mean dude honestly the blessing and the curse of a content creation career is that behind the scenes you've got to keep studying you've got to keep growing you've got to keep adding things to your own mind so it puts you in this very weird position of you have created your own championship belt and to earn it every day you have to live up to it now that puts a lot of load on your relationship and your partner in terms of okay keep up with me so what do you think of this whole growth rate theory yeah yeah so i've i've found or i've noticed and i was i was thinking about this a couple of years ago that i've seen three types of relationship so one is where you are the parent to your partner so it's almost like you're like their dad or their mom so they need hand-holding they need support they need you to guide them and show them the way and you have to decide is that something you want in life the second type of relationship i've seen is where you are the child so actually you need the parenting you need someone to guide you right so that's another type of relationship and the third type of relationship i've seen is where your partner's where you're both equally balancing out the parental and the child aspect and you both support each other the point is which one do you want i i want the third one so that's that's thankfully what i have is that radhi carries me and i carry her and we support each other and we balance each other out but some people want to be the parent the nurturer the supporter the provider and some people want to be the child and we have to ask ourselves which one of these is sustainable for us and the truth is that being a child is not a sustainable relationship because eventually someone will get tired and bored of you and will feel overwhelmed and just exhausted taking care of you and also you may find that you get exhausted taking care of someone else so i i believe that trying to find a partnership where you both carry and both serve and support gives for more sustainability and that also requires more work like me and raleigh haven't figured it all out we've had to have so many tough conversations over the last few years and communicate about expectations and we also have to realize that people are growing in different ways at different times so when i met radhi i was more spiritual and today i would say that radhi has far superseded me in so much of my own spirituality and and she teaches me and so the point is that you have to recognize as long as that person is growing their growth may not look like your growth their growth may not be the same so for example your growth and my growth maybe look like studying books but their growth may be doing charity work and so everyone's growth looks different so you can't judge someone's growth based on how you're growing and so it's important that you're both growing but you may look very different when you're growing got it you mentioned spirituality very simple question what is spirituality for a human being what is the spiritual journey what does it mean to be spiritual the the monk definition that was taught to me is that spiritual means where the spirit is behind the ritual so where this where the ritual is done with understanding intention and depth that it is done with a deeper sense of understanding the ritual is just the the puja the arty that's the ritual but when it is done in a spiritual way with the spirit of love of compassion of devotion that is what spirituality is so spirituality is infusing these very powerful uh acts and these very powerful um these very powerful activities of devotion but actually doing them with devotion that is spirituality gorgeous um i gotta ask you about veganism because radhi's of one of the famous vegans of instagram um and honestly it's something uh i've i've turned vegetarian since the last two and a half years i felt like getting deeper into spirituality my body just rejected meat and i'm punjabi so i've grown up eating more meat than you can imagine but just one day i was looking at the chicken breast and i said to myself no you know this is not gonna happen gradually gave up all kinds of meat over like the next year and i've reached the stage where i don't have eggs i do have a little bit of milk and i don't know milk is something that i will give up in the long term but vegetarianism is something that gave me a lot of gifts and it's something i only understood after i actually took it up with full force so i got to ask you about your journey in this vegan vegetarian transformation yeah so i grew up eating meat as well radhi grew up vegetarian she's been vegetarian our whole life in vegan for nearly maybe about 10 years now maybe something like that but i've i grew up eating meat so i've i've eaten everything and i became vegetarian at about 15 years old out of choice so for me it was very simple i would uh my school journey on the way back from school i would walk past the butchers every day and so i would see the animals hanging in the window and when i saw that that was the first time i registered i was like oh that chicken that's hanging there that's the chicken that i'm eating in my chicken sandwich from mcdonald's and i remember the first time i came to india mcdonald's had just opened in bandra and so i i got i'd gone to mcdonald's and you know i was like nine years old at that time or whatever but it was such a direct link for me and so i was like okay well i don't want to do that anymore so i became vegetarian at 15. and then i became vegan when i married raleigh because it was easier to do it with someone who was educated in how to do it in a healthy way and so what i've i'm not a i don't consider myself to be a proponent or a ambassador i consider myself to be someone who's trying to practice it themselves and for me my my recommendation to everyone like you like you did for yourself is to do what is right for you at the right time when you really reflect on it and to do it in a way that's healthy and sustainable so that you feel the physical benefits as well as the moral benefits of it because there's you know some people become vegan or vegetarian for health and some do it for morality and for me it's benefited both for me it's benefited from me on both levels but i really just allow people to come to it their own time because i i grew up eating meat as well so i don't i don't judge anyone or i don't feel anything negative towards anyone uh who eats me i think it's a personal choice and you have to get there in your own time yeah 100 that's something i agree with and that's also i mean me speaking as a former meat eater if someone told me to give up meat i'd probably get pissed off back then yeah exactly yeah so as a newly turned vegetarian i never throw my ideas on anyone but what i do like doing is i like sharing honest experiences where i felt like i did have a change in my thought process or the way i'm i perceive the world and of course my health as well i definitely lost some amount of muscle but in retrospect it's a decision i would never change if i if i ever go back um that's beautiful it yeah what's it done for you like physically mentally spiritually what's what's that effect been like for you yeah so so fizz starting physically i actually found that giving up dairy products stopped me from getting ill as often so like the flu or mucus or bad throats and sore throats and aches and i used to get a lot of um i used to find myself feeling a lot of mucus and just feeling quite i would get unwell more regularly since you know thankfully by since i've gone vegan i've thankfully not not not experienced too much physical um ill health so that's been great uh on a mental level i definitely feel lighter you know i feel lighter and clearer i feel like i have more clarity and more um i feel like i have more uh stillness and less less kind of aggression in my life i've never been a very aggressive person anyway but i definitely am a lot more even more calmer and and spiritually it's just given me a love for really appreciating animals you know i mean yeah it's it's it's so beautiful to see equally these incredible creatures creatures and creations and to appreciate them and to appreciate the life in them and to appreciate that source of energy in them that you know that lion or that um that chicken or that you know cow or whatever it is has life it feels pain it feels love it feels motherly love if you've never if you've never seen a cow caring for its calf or if you've never seen a uh kangaroo caring for its baby you know it's like there's a beautiful joy to watch that and when you when you deeply look at that you you start really appreciating uh that there is that beautiful living force just that we have inside of us it's inside of them as well that's a gorgeous answer um jay because we're running out of time i've got to ask you a bunch of social media businessy questions uh but let's begin it with you know when you meet people like kobe bryant when you meet all these amazing human beings that you've already had on your show um firstly how does it change you and secondly how have you seen the world's perception of you changing i i think the way it changes me is that i genuinely think that sometimes we often look at anyone who is successful or who has achieved something in life we sometimes sometimes i remember at least in london i don't know what it's like in india but i remember sometimes our friends and everyone would be like oh yeah but who cares anyway and like you know maybe they didn't do it properly or they got lucky or you know that oh they just they just got the right introduction and you you kind of try and pass it off like there was there was no depth there uh and sometimes we do that about musicians or whatever it may be and from everyone that i've met i've seen people who have really sacrificed who've really worked to really discipline themselves who've meditated daily who've invested in their self-growth people have really done the work and and so the way it impacts me is that it it gives me more affirmation and gives me more confirmation that the work you and i are doing is deeply important and is deeply needed because all these people who have achieved impact in the world they've all done it themselves so for me it's just a very grounding and humbling feeling that we're so lucky that we got introduced to these themes and subjects at an early age because these are the things that have kept these people grounded in themselves and you know i i haven't given much thought of how it uh affects how people see me because you know for me i've been living such a follow my heart intuition life my whole life and i've been really grateful that a lot of these people have been on the show as well they're not just people on the show they've become friends like dear friends and and so for me it's it's uh it's it's never been about the the pr or the the the kind of angle it's it's been the fact that i've wanted to learn from these people and so i hope that it's i hope that it's helped people understand that i'm a student a student of of life and of all these people and that that would be the best thing that people could take away from it to show that you know even though people may think that i'm sharing and i'm just always learning like that's that's the goal and so so i really hope that that's what people see is my intention yeah i think that's what you're spreading out there you're spreading that student learner mentality joy uh and finally i've got to ask you about the social media game uh what's your intuition about the future of the world of content what's gonna happen in the next 10 to 20 years what are you planning for yourself how do you think someone can grow and secondly just you know what have been your hacks for growing this fast on social media yeah absolutely so the first thing i'd say about where social media is going i i think the biggest thing we all know is that there's going to be new platforms and there's going to be new uh yeah new platforms new apps we've all seen the rise of tick tock and now we're seeing this awkward moment where they're trying to figure out whether it's going to stay or not and then we've seen the rise of reels on instagram and you know you've got just platforms and platforms so the first thing you have to realize is if you want to be a content creator don't be choosy and picky about the platform that helps you grow so when i was starting out youtube was the hot platform and facebook was considered the not hot platform but for me my work grew on facebook which then grew my youtube and grew my instagram and so i wasn't picky about oh i want to be cool on and big on youtube i was just like wherever you feel the love be there you know so you may start feeling some love on tiktok go all in on tick tock you may feel the love on twitter go all in on twitter don't don't think in your mind that oh this is not the cool platform i want to be on this platform and so i knew a lot of people at the time who were thinking oh no no i want to be big on youtube forget facebook it's a waste of time and you know for me facebook was a platform that changed my life and so it's really important in the beginning to find a platform that works for you and your content and go all in on that platform and then you'll see the outpouring of that platform onto all of your platforms so we saw that when my facebook platform grew exponentially the instagram grew youtube grew twitter everything grew because of that one powerful growth and so often we spread ourselves too thin and we start making content that doesn't work on any platform because we're trying to deal with oil platforms and my advice is in the beginning when you can do very less just try and make content that wins on one platform and just go all in so what some of the strategies to share with you the first strategy was we always tested lots of different styles of content so you never know what's going to work and even now i'm always testing and experimenting styles so recently i started this new format which is putting me into movies so it was me giving advice to spider-man me giving advice to jennifer aniston me giving advice and it was just all in this movie format and i did that because i wanted to do more comedy and i wanted to do something more light-hearted and people aren't used to seeing me do that and we made three videos as a test we just made three videos and we put them out and they did really really well and people love them so we're gonna do more of them and so the first thing is you have to be constantly experimenting sometimes i'll experiment and no one will like it and so then i have to ask myself that did do i still want to do that does it fulfill a part of me and if it makes me feel happy then i'll keep doing it but if it's not making me happy and no one likes it then why am i doing it anymore so that's that's the experimenting mentality the second is and i can't stress this enough is get to know your audience and your community if you have a hundred followers and you don't talk to them and you don't message them and you don't read the comments then you will never know what people are really looking for and what they're appreciating and so for me i'm on the instrument i mean when i was dming you like we dm'd it was it was us talking it's not like we're saying oh some team member can do that i'm commenting i'm replying i'm reading people's comments i think that that's a really important part of getting to know your audience and then knowing topics and understanding what they're looking for the third one that's been really really important to me is uh collaborations and support and i think too many people are trying to compete and and i really believe that it's far more collaboration and collaboration happens on an equal level so when i was growing there were a lot of us growing at the same time so it was gold cast me uh princier uh who else was there at the time those those were probably like the three people that were growing and we all supported each other we all helped each other so we became friends and and to me it's like we all started around me and gold castle especially started around the same time around four years ago three four years ago and we just supported each other and then you saw like you know goalcast is really well known now and but i i saw them at like 10 000 followers 20 000 followers like and they've seen me at that too but we always realized that our strength was in working together and so when you're starting out look for people that are on your level and say hey let's support each other rather than competing with each other and so we would share each other's videos we would share each other's posts and then we all grew at the same time so that was really important and and then the biggest one is just you have to get addicted to data you have to look at the data you can't just keep creating and not looking at watch time you have to look at are people watching the whole video or are they stopping at this point why there's a company in america uh some one of my team members used to work for this company and he was telling me about it and they had something called the board test boring test so what they would do in their company is they would watch the new video as a team and whenever someone got bored they had to put their hand up and so then they would look at like why why are we getting bored at this point what can we change and so you have to get addicted to data and look at okay if i grew x amount of my audience last week what did we do right what did we do wrong how do we repeat it and so you have to get focused on the data and all of this should never become one of two things content creators make two mistakes we either become selfish or we become sellouts and what that means is sellout means you just make whatever content your audience likes and you're not known not growing anymore and selfish is where you just make content that you want to watch but no one wants to watch it and so that's not there's no point in that either and so the real content creator is someone who looks at insights but then follows their own intuition someone who looks at data but then tries to be dynamic that balance is what creates the content creator of the future that's a beautiful answer i want to end the podcast by asking you your three quickest pieces of advice from the bhagavad-gita because i know you've mentioned it a lot in your book so uh what do you have to share about the bhagavad-gita yeah so one of my i'm gonna share three verses so one of the first verses that i absolutely love is um uh better to follow your own path uh imperfectly than to follow someone else's past perfectly and i think this verse is the embodiment of the disease of comparison we see in the world today that we start chasing something because we see someone and we think okay i want that too you know if i was honest with you bro like i love football like soccer football is my my like life i love it like if i could have been cristiano ronaldo i would have loved to have played football but i noticed very early on that i didn't have the work ethic or the talent to play at a professional level and so being honest with myself has allowed me to create this life that i have today but if i keep trying to lie and trying to do that you just get lost so that's the first piece of advice from the gita the second piece of advice which is the famous quote from the gita is your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy i think learning to befriend your mind is the most important skill in life because whether you want to develop habits whether you want to become successful or happy or joyful if you don't know how to befriend the mind you'll struggle and so in the book i have a whole chapter dedicated to befriending the mind and the third and final verse that i would say our message is that ultimately it's all about service it's all about devotional service and when we find a way to serve whether we're an accountant or a lawyer or a business person or an engineer or what me and you do if we can find a way to serve and improve people's lives then we'll be truly happy and successful see if you just have things you may be successful but not happy and if you're just happy inside then you may be happy but you won't be successful but when you do something you love and you serve people through it you can be both happy and successful and that's the goal the goal is to be both you don't have to you don't have to choose and so those would be the three messages from the gita you're an embodiment of that thought jay shetty thank you brother i really appreciate you being on the show think like a monk out now the link is in the description box jai's handles in the description box thank you brother i really really really appreciate this and it's it's a huge uh honor and a huge pleasure talking to you after seeing so much of your content reading so much of your content over the years man bro i'm grateful to you for doing what you do for reaching out for being in touch for allowing me to share with your audience i know that you know people absolutely love you and do what you love what you do and so i'm really grateful and honored to be with you as well because you're having such an amazing impact and i want to thank you for being patient with me in the beginning while i was setting everything up today and uh you were so kind and gentle and and and supportive and you know it just shows who you are off camera too and i appreciate you for that man thank you brother i'm learning a lot from you every day every day following thank you so much thank you man thank you so much for sure

Channel: BeerBiceps

Views: 1,277,031

Keywords: podcast, indian podcast, ranveer allahbadia, beerbiceps, the ranveer show, the ranveer show podcast, the ranveer show beerbiceps, trs, jay shetty, jay shetty podcast, jay shetty meditation, jay shetty interview, jay shetty books, jay shetty biography, motivational speaker, on purpose jay shetty, jay shetty wife, jay shetty relationship, jay shetty motivation, jay shetty talks, jay shetty book reviews, jay shetty india, jay shetty krishna, jay shetty gaurangadas

Id: AUrXa4GFTMk

Length: 61min 38sec (3698 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 25 2020