Jamie Foxx - Straight From the Foxxhole - (FULL Stand Up) HD

ah Oh what's up ah yo hypeee didn't love I grant you I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you home I'm just kidding I know you're not a ho but she was in that [ __ ] there once hey wait a minute [ __ ] who you calling a ho damn everything come out okay [ __ ] I'm sorry I don't mean I just called you girl who I know she not hook but I know if she was you would know right no ladies always no uh-uh girl don't talk to see how hey I always know that but see I'm just wanna you know apologize come shake them here yeah girl get on up there that ass grocery store is stephannie ask the snicker bar come back tomorrow sir no no I know you're not home you got a little hole hands although our hands shaped like this and [ __ ] their dick does fit no I'm just kidding about but you know how it is me give him out of town and you may have my right fellas first thing you look for is a oh but I ain't looking for one tonight though y'all look kind of fun but you know what I like hoes oh no I'm serious I do I like hoes I you know cuz I'm single you know I'm looking for somebody you know Hey look a [ __ ] that well I like hoes oh man cuz you know especially get a hos everybody like fellas you like get a hold seriously because they low maintenance I'm still check out the work they don't want to go to the movies alone she don't wanna go out to eat and oh [ __ ] like that they be low maintenance it just gets you [ __ ] and lead by Jamie you need some money no I'm okay get on hoes man and they always have on gold shoes get a hos always have on go shoot you know try to put your shoes in yeah y'all gotta go through and they always have gold earrings and gold per semester she don't and the [ __ ] was black first you I need to go get these spray I know get a hose akuma cuz I don't know I was where to get a whole last week and you knew always tell got a hose cuz they were a real tight [ __ ] but they still be chubby and [ __ ] and had a little pouch in the front you know on summer that's why they carry and changing share house with this got a whole last week I don't know she was got a hold to cuz I was a sucking at City and cool a came at that much oh oh look is that strawberry yeah that strawberry then you gotta blow that [ __ ] up it's crazy man I like I flew in here anybody scared to fly you know wave your hands you scare the flight look at you all right host get fly okay cool schedule fly man cuz like I flew in here right on one of them little bitty-ass playing some little small planes it was playing Buddy Holly music on this month [ __ ] I'm like that can we change the station or something yeah there's a raggedy-ass Airlines - didn't have like no departure schedule no arrival schedule no [ __ ] like that they didn't have an intercom they're just outside tomorrow we're leaving bring it bring the ass really and the reason I'm scared man is color saw that movie alive anybody see that [ __ ] that's why they like crash and then I have to eat eat Oh ain't that some [ __ ] cuz you eat your friend I could eat your friend no I couldn't eat your friend cuz it's too much [ __ ] going around and you know no sir you gotta watch what you eat now cuz women is just throwing that [ __ ] at me now you know so I gotta watch what I kiss cuz I gotta rush that [ __ ] up [ __ ] what's trying you better blow that [ __ ] up this crazy man with a crash writer have to eat each other but like before they ate each other they were starving [ __ ] I was like [ __ ] that I ain't starving so I was picking out the people I was gonna eat before we crash and she like fat lady in the front Monday Tuesday Wednesday the Chinese food in one a what no I do go out anytime I hate a little so food I see gotta back up off me Barney [ __ ] is wrong with you the wildest [ __ ] is doing good huh Harley huh she's doing too good though cuz I got grown-ass men rolling up on me and [ __ ] like they want to get women [ __ ] let then you do that one that [ __ ] don't see for you look good love a good boy I'll be back open your eyes right about now [ __ ] that house ladies really like it ladies love it don't the ladies all the ladies say hey ladies were the first thing ladies roll up on me and say do your lips do your little Jamie play do your live I feel I should I gotta get some - you know cuz should I get paid for this year so I tell them I do the lips if you take your pants off oh yeah y'all chuckling now but I'll be like ah and ladies be like you soak right then I say well if you [ __ ] you got to do the face I'd be like hey for real dog I got you you ain't got to go nowhere crazy [ __ ] we're crazy but like for some reason now guys think I'm soft and [ __ ] right just cause David hey hey hey watch ass but I've been working out and she working on my skills and [ __ ] you know but you know it's crazy don't like cuz you when you work on your skills and [ __ ] as soon as a fight breaks out you forget all that [ __ ] on but my you better blow that [ __ ] up it was crazy man cuz Cass is just rolling up on me now sure cuz there's one do rolled up on me right just rolled up he was like yeah once you watch were you going in living color punk ass [ __ ] cooking ass color [ __ ] mother sounds like what up pick him up like bangs on the Ray dinner I was help him get out his wheelchair enough I'll tell you [ __ ] rolled up on me [ __ ] gonna roll up on me all hard yeah oh yeah I'll bust your ass what's up how Buster I wish you wouldn't hit me hit me go punch hit ain't this a business [ __ ] enough now my goddaughters the [ __ ] off [ __ ] you up get some fish oh no are you [ __ ] with I'll [ __ ] your ankles up be [ __ ] with me [ __ ] I don't play that [ __ ] but it's crazy right cuz I got a friend right there used to be hardened days in the wheelchair but he don't want to listen I'll be telling you know somebody gonna [ __ ] him up you don't wanna listen get like [ __ ] that Jay I had the monster see I had the mine on say what you told me cuz he all did nobody punked me and I'm hey hey bro watch where you're walking walking all into me and [ __ ] I wish you would slap me I slapped the [ __ ] this [ __ ] to knock out my coq10 oh you gonna stump me with the Jodeci boots stop stop somebody J Hanlon or even [ __ ] you got to respect me [ __ ] [ __ ] respect mushy [ __ ] that I said I'm saying [ __ ] I don't thought I wanna play for that I don't play that [ __ ] you know what I'm saying hey bro watch where you're going brother hey hey lady [ __ ] I will knock you out [ __ ] of it I wish to swing on me this pistol knocked me up my [ __ ] here to [ __ ] ass oh you're gonna start me with the pumps thank that's him [ __ ] it's about respect like that I feel like suave and gentle feel like hitting no lady you know I'm saying you know cuz I respect women you know hey little [ __ ] in that tricycle I would what I hope your precious [ __ ] enough oh my god are you gonna stop me with the weed box like that's obscene it's crazy [ __ ] now I'm have all the whiskey of people outside us here waiting on me and Sheila various you better proud mom you better blow that [ __ ] up and I'm talking about the night time on the drugs though no I'm talking about summer that's just like life right that's life you life is a big talk right but you got to blow the [ __ ] out you go crazy I'm all right we go crazy cuz that's what happened to Waco a [ __ ] right I'm serious I just blew took the [ __ ] in I couldn't blow it out hello why I was like them I would have followed David Koresh you know all the way up to the [ __ ] start getting hot [ __ ] I'd be like yo D damn he's got a hot up in this world like a ball don't step on shahu a minute cause he couldn't fool does I'm all right he could've fooled us right cuz we would have checked him right cuz he said he was Jesus right so you can do anything right when they start burning [ __ ] I wanna take my whole yo DDD hey yo man you Jesus man blink us about this [ __ ] man it's crazy [ __ ] I see we got a lot of my people came here that's cool how are you hold front row look how no I like it when white ladies come on cuz white ladies you know they give me mixed up and [ __ ] cuz I think we are favoring [ __ ] they come up because it's white leaders that's outstanding I knew she'd know what was cuz she was like oh my god oh my god you're Eddie Murphy I said if I ever saw Eddie Murphy is just gonna rip my clothes off and just like the [ __ ] outta I'm like really got some white guy hey how you doing why got came right to the front thing all right how are you look at oh let me piss is here but yeah I came to the front what so so what okay come on honey [ __ ] come on you better blow that [ __ ] yeah no I'm just [ __ ] with you he'll be mad as you [ __ ] ah they do that whenever they don't want to kostik like you come at me give me five okay [ __ ] come on come on hi come on oh [ __ ] I did good what ah that's great I like to [ __ ] with why people uh especially after the Rodney King [ __ ] I just play jokes in [ __ ] you know nothing harsh is here I'll be like on the elevating [ __ ] by myself whole bunch of white people come in and say be like damn bro I'm Rodney case you got me man to the most for the boy hey I feel like shooting air by the business smug [ __ ] man hey I got Rollins one that brought like a mile for the road Chris man naima but roll maybe like come on come on [ __ ] Oh son of a [ __ ] is crazy Oh [ __ ] you heard him oh yeah but it's crazy man cuz I riding the King was crazy as [ __ ] up man [ __ ] cuz of white people in LA that's why people here there's a little bit too close to the stage I try to Russia [ __ ] only know why people like there's like oh my god they are so violent look at those sons of [ __ ] oh my god they are so none of those [ __ ] of sons you know they cuss funny those mother dicks sons of bastards are just look at those mother penises they are so violent now like that what they did to Ronnie was kind of violent too right cuz rounding could even talk to you son can't we just get along and see me so he sees the subpoena can we just get along swing low sweet billy club crazy [ __ ] crazy and then they were saying what you see on the tape ah it's really not what you sleep and I was like then they almost had my ass for a minute right but I'll take this year when I take it and even when you play it on like slow motion they still whooping his answer you better blow that [ __ ] it's crazy man crazy and we got Rodney King's back right everybody got his back right black and white y'all got a friend come on why fever hey got his back and what is Rodney doing Rodney is vacationing he all at the baseball game she's chillin don't even know where the [ __ ] he is come on touchdown whatever [ __ ] Michael Jordan know how to swing a bat don't silly [ __ ] don't you get a crazy look on your face y'all left because y'all do that [ __ ] [ __ ] everybody does that [ __ ] and you look around to see if anybody looking at your nasty answer yeah man all right I'll meet y'all in a minute come huh yeah all right son oh yeah yeah all right gosh [ __ ] and I thought you know you need to wash your ass that's how you know you need to wash yeah all right bro yeah intimate day I need to wash up cuz I'll be down underneath especially nasty ass man you ever watch a man while he's like watching the game with some [ __ ] like that and he go down in this tow but yeah Mike adore my god oh my god job Mike what am i good job huh whoa he be slamming [ __ ] down you better blow that [ __ ] up crazy man we talked about a lot of [ __ ] don't we a lot of it don't we I just think there's a difference between black and white people has nothing do with the color skin we should crush that right it's just differences nobody's better than anybody else right I'm all right just different man just different cuz I think that white people can be some of the most peaceful people in the world Shh stop it no we don't do that cuz they everything like a white lady that yell at our kids at the mall they do that [ __ ] real peaceful real peace I saw this lady she was screaming whispering Atticus right Jimmy that's a piece of black parents-in-law brochure answer the 10-man to Tomorrowland dashiki but you're asking me crazy [ __ ] gotta be careful making love right hello doing you hear me when the Frankie and Mike getting to you it's crazy man cuz a lot of [ __ ] is going around man the guy said that their nails just make your dick this fall off with you he won't ya alright brother [ __ ] up all my action crazy got to be careful oh man Hayes is in the head of a section community now right I'm all right I say that one out of every six men in this country is bisexual damn damn swimming [ __ ] damn Wow whoo that really damn so that means even in the audience as we speak that's just like one two three four five how you doing how you doing are you crazy but you gotta be careful where so be careful don't be pairing on the edge right the people get paranoid I know like I'm from Texas [ __ ] people that Hey all right all right it's setup all right was crazy because they make up [ __ ] in text you know this make up legend see they be like I don't know where you get the damn [ __ ] simpe I'm home on the sectionals I carried in the pouches like a dust they get close enough for next frankly don't you make you skinnier into musky Tuesday silly see writing like Oh people can see mixed up to record like my grandmother thinks anything in the house can give you aids and [ __ ] cuz she be slipping I'm serious I got I'll be in the bathroom getting ready to go so when my grandmother position baby don't use my wash rag now thank you get eight you know folks washrag I couldn't even sleep like you know how to try to like sleep on Saturday morning she thought if you slept too long something's wrong sheep I said look at that boy in Ashley let anybody sleep that long got too heavy it's 4:30 in the morning after they don't go [ __ ] grace couldn't even drive around you guys drive your grandparents around I couldn't drive I look like slow this car down [ __ ] y'all anybody drive that fast got to heavy hate to make your foot heavy well pretty much the back race home from school listen anybody that dumb got the hammy just different though man just different just differently we got different ways of doing that I have friends you know not joke a lot about white people but I got friends it'll why some of my best friends or what like our friends our white friends black know getting married on the same day right and I went like to the white wedding and everything was real nice and peaceful shh-shh and white people to come get you quick too like when you [ __ ] about Jimmy and a dude that was singing right it came on the sing he had it like Neil Diamond Johnny Mathis I left my heart in San Francisco look he's like today is a wedding day forever you will be mine I will always until the UH I'll sit with my grandmother right anybody that peaceful she got over to the black wedding everything was different right look at a hair yeah get the word Lord G all had a big black lady at the front named Jessie tell everybody where to go right she like look if you were the bra size did you go over her ready with the broom fat then you go over her that's right I say here what's wrong with her better get someone help my feet swelled up to [ __ ] and the dude that was singing I was singing the same song at the White House saying oh you know anytime brother say make like hour and a half long right singing the same song he was singing the double album 12-inch CD cassette murder makes version right same song he was on like this today see here is a witty day-o sound like Luther baby forever you will be put on the black that's my story okay and then the preacher came out right I said uh that the preacher came out right I said that the preacher came out right how did he come show you right you came out with that preaching voice like he was like uh and uh we gathered here today for wedding if you will gathered here today the we're together Tyrone Jerome Jamal Jamal shamil Jenelle Finnell Johnson can I get amen together with Tamika Lucretia born eco transfigured uh she she she'll to share for share my man Jackson the others laugh initiative it's crazy cause like my my father's a preacher right father peach and everything he says I like he was preached I mean we'd be playing basketball anything you know once about a play about you're passing the ball right not my father going pass me the basketball today sir don't have her too long I'm wide open [ __ ] chicken be kicking on it's crazy on my father's Craig's got like I accidentally like stuck about my parents making love right by three or four times it was crazy cuz snuck up on my father my mother making love my father was preaching only he was whooping right he was like Jessica Jessica why don't you take your left leg and wrap it hook right around here now Jessica why don't you take your right leg and wrap it right around here now I don't know how you feel about it but I think it feels all right can I get a witness now I want you to come and don't go much I'm gonna teach I'm gonna come too nobody yeah I said like a sailor would everything is alright so everything is alright it's alright alright alright a lot of good-looking ladies out here in San Diego all the good-looking ladies stop to hand down ladies if you feel like you look good tonight clap your hand any bunch of ugly no all the fellas if you feel like you looking fella stop your hand and look at all the money [ __ ] so ladies if you feel like you look good tonight clever hands like some of y'all feelin good sorry now all the uglies didn't have some make up your hand Oh ain't that some [ __ ] but see that's how I started when I asked that ugly lazy clap you know how to character guys study you know what I'm talking about right whoo I can't hear you whoo on the who we tell my clap their hands hell they need a Clippers all damn man for rid of [ __ ] I Charlie sir girl you got a clipping hand just cause he said hell [ __ ] him girl don't know who he is that I know he'll star him I don't care I don't I don't curl hair I'm a girl I think I'm on TV girl I know he's from different colors is he from different colors I don't Gregor luck girl [ __ ] I wish you'd go here number 2 - he away mister I swear he is Kenan the name them two hands J and when I'm done in them wins BB wayne CC Wayne girl I don't care that's all right I'll tell you one thing he come out here I whip his ass okay alright [ __ ] you're coming if I came home I cut his ass oh well cuz I cut a [ __ ] [ __ ] you cannot hide it no matter what you do you cannot hide that I got the lights up - you could show okay honey oh [ __ ] everybody look everybody look right back in the center everybody look right back there I'll look at and they trippin anthemic girl get down don't get down Chinese to get down here girl get down here okay you make me sick don't get down that's [ __ ] up girl you better get down here [ __ ] get behind on your breath mistake a get behind me you're alone know about you but I am ready to go I ask you don't rush to go hold on girl imma go and see if he's still lookin girl he's looking right at us that's not right girl cuz he come out here and I'll cut a [ __ ] shoot my room you cannot hide it you cannot hide the ugliness no matter what you do you cannot hide it you cannot hide quiet laugh again you cannot uh Shh you cannot hey hey hey no huh now hey come on I'm just serious Nadja I'm just playing playing girl I know you're not ugly yeah you cannot hide it you cannot silence silence of the lamb chops so when you left that little farm Clarice where did you go on poor little Clarice you feel if you can sign the celebs all your troubles will be over so what your father farmer was your cold man did he speak with the twine doll sure he was very nice man he was so nice poor little Clary this census take a once tried to interview me Clarice I hate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti 5xe little place now Clarice fly fly fly fly fly fly there's a chest I may never be able to get out of here Clarice I want a place with a window somewhere I can see some holes want to see some rum shaking Clarice all I want to do sohma's ohms or Mazzone the lovely things oh I don't care what do you want to do here crazy ass ain't coming out here am i right hi yeah Loretta kazanka who he is caught me telling my girl Charlie said we need to drop all and [ __ ] cuz we was at the club and so you know we walking Wiest which we doing I thought you know and then uh and then uh and then uh and then our Harlequin dinner home and I walk in with somebody else on my hand huh you asked my man if you could do some [ __ ] like that if you could cuz I cut him off [ __ ] sure cuz I'll be cooking I'll be cooking stuff of my man likes cramps and stuff you know he don't scrimp down jumbo scrimps Tiger screw everybody eat some friends her buddies friends hell and you know I'll be wearing my second leg arrays and stuff on you know hey my Victoria secretion see then you know I heard it uh he was going out behind my back you know with all these you know other people in stuff you buddy gonna shut your ass up I'll go answer cuz I cut him off [ __ ] shoe her up give it up I gotta ask you a question that heavy I gotta ask you this question have you ever been on somebody just after you get through making love to him you want him to leave am i right fellas hello you with your girl he's like [ __ ] crazy don't be food or cuz ladies are kick your ass out - am i right ladies look at women on the edge and [ __ ] [ __ ] that but no matter who you are one day is gonna happen to you no matter how great the sex was no matter what you thought about this person you thought she was gonna spend the rest of your night yeah you were quick where's your night with this person just as you get to making love to your going them to do what get the [ __ ] out set it with me everybody in here what get the [ __ ] and you don't care how they get out you don't care what means the transportation they use you just want to get the [ __ ] out you don't care I was cuz you just laid it happened to me on Akash you got annickap he was like get the [ __ ] out Anna cares like get the [ __ ] out of campers like atticus my babes get the podcast she's ski time cuz luck get the [ __ ] out but I was thinking it happens to everybody right happens to the stars I was thinking like what would Johnny Gill do in a situation like there look at girls um huh cuz Johnny's so smooth he could tell the girl look at us you winning Mike I was Johnny was singer that's gotta be like Oh baby he was good but you know what I want you to do I want you to put on your red dress and get on your high heels and your panties - girl I think I'm through you got me singing bye-bye Bob our show was good tonight and the wheel so me y'all looking like that was hard hella could have been hard could have been like James Brown no changes coming he better get up get her own up hey zoast didn't want to get up Oh could you see like Mike Tyson telling the girl to get out I guess not huh girl probably winning weight on my face thank you Mike and my career uh but hey the bear come on baby stop it you just like Robin cause he like Bill Cosby telling girly get out the time has come for you to get your things leave because the wife Camille is on the way to the house the [ __ ] was good god let's eat got to get the [ __ ] Oh could you see like Prince I know you did it's tough I'll say okay ah she Michael Jackson we got to give it up a Michael Michael he's done a lot right music Alicia got Elijah here don't see this in an Oprah for the interview Mike when Oprah in his ass Dan all in it and she's like what Michael are you [ __ ] I thought Mike was gonna answer what about you Oh free are you hungry what about your fat ass okay huh that's your chicken eat man so free just go stinky ah it's crazy and you know you got to be large when you go to another country you see this on HBO when Michael did HBO we went to another country and had grown ass men crying and passing out over in Europe and [ __ ] no cuz just bust out crying oh my god oh my god I love him I love the bloody bastard I love him oh my god Miguel and $400 the ticket you pass her now she and I wish I would $400 tickets to you take a date that's $800 [ __ ] that's red you beat him up you better enjoy this you we can't go back to the crib you better blow that [ __ ] up I think there's a difference between black and white people has none dude the color skin we should crush it right get it out nobody's better with just different cuz I think it has to do with the heart Michael I think the average white man's heart beats like this well that was black man's heart beats like this that's why you get them in like black men a great lovers black man stand up for you dig man black man a great lover [ __ ] it why I'm in a great love white man great love and you [ __ ] know it pal you [ __ ] son of a [ __ ] it's right here you son of a [ __ ] that's why ladies you have a choice it's just as difference you have a choice I mean would you rather make love to something like this Oh ladies would you rather my glove is she's looking at me like girl I'll rock your world how ladies would you rather make love something like this turn over grab your ankles oh [ __ ] now you know what you got a real nice person like myself will understand the man you know somewhere romantic as opposed to telling you get the [ __ ] out you know I'll tell you what I need you know some black and long we're white on it with some keys and [ __ ] now you know how to do it right I set the night off right I just want to leave you hanging you know give you a few look at white people working for me come on get hurry up sons of [ __ ] so what I thought [ __ ] well bugs backstage and son of a [ __ ] I hate him cuz I think I played him up I tell you what I need to be later I need to have you next to me and more ways along I refuse to tell us the time is right turn down the lights love's got me high oh this is some good [ __ ] please say yes we say yes and don't say no most of me Oh you owe it to yourself I was half-asleep take a message easy it's because of you say hey the Reds ago so you're having my baby I can't sir this it huh Who am I suppose it man we'll see what I like to do is just take any song and make a sound good love to make love to Russia Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow girl a betcha I could wet you really nice and slow one day where she got her and let me go my own I wonder if Mary knows that I'm all alone boom I started going with my each and every day go trying to fight the slowly dancing some way cuz deep within my heart was empty and without ugly I look to pence on Mary's face coming to rescue me no Mary mine and a love all the time thinking of one of a kind you'll discover divine is another married mine drives me crazy cuz she's my baby a Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden go a Marion Jamie in the tree a KA is s ing Jamie jr. was named I wanna be like his old man that was explained to fair a Mary Mary quite contrary how Thank You saving myself

Channel: Dell Wildauer

Views: 89,330

Rating: 4.7118435 out of 5

Keywords: Jamie, Foxx, Straight, From, the, Foxxhole, (FULL, Stand, Up), HD

Id: aisbTo7xpx8

Length: 52min 27sec (3147 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 02 2015