Jackie Mason - Armies.mp4

[Music] first of all this is a map of the world I explained it because I could see there's people here I have no idea what's going on what is the main problem of the world today the main problem of the world is hate there's more hate all over the world today than ever before hate is the main problem it's all over the world a lot of people think it's just in this section no this is all over the world the real question is what's causing all this hate this is supposed to be the most civilized era in human history we're all indoctrinated with the collective teachings of all the religions of the world that teach us what anybody that you just Brotherhood love humanism let's take the issues of the world today let's start with Africa what is the main problem in Africa Libyan terrorism it's happening primarily because of the issue of Palestine it expresses the frustrations of the Arabs because they cannot fight Israel equal terms cuz Israel turns out to have the toughest army men for men in the world today the toughest Army that's a fact I was in Israel I saw that Army I couldn't believe it I thought they were Puerto Ricans they even talk Hebrew like Puerto Rican why do you think why do you think Israel won the first war in six days where the Jewish General couldn't even see what he was doing spent the whole time with the p looking where the hell is the so lucky think the Arabs came from this side if they came from that side I'll ask you a better question who do you think drove the Jewish tanks in that war Puerto Rican soldiers that's right what do you think a Jew is going to get out of a Mercedes to drive a tank I'll tell you another story you probably didn't know do you know that Israel has the hydrogen bomb the hydrogen bomb they've had it for 20 years for 20 years never used it you know why cost $187 billion now you think they're going to throw it away on an hour they told him you want to see it come over it's a dollar and a quarter an hour you know everybody everybody all over the world is amazed they were literally amazed at the unbelievable might of the Israeli Army because it's a direct contradiction to everything you know about the Jews as a people Jews traditionally were never fighter us it's a historical fact that Jews were always pacifists they always abhor violence Jews were a first pcut for that very reason they were always believed in nonviolence that's why there's no tough Jews any place in the world outside of Israel you cannot find the tough Jews well let's be honest you ever see anybody afraid to walk into a Jewish neighborhood because he might get killed by an [Applause] accountant the truth is that in this country Jews don't fight they don't they almost fight they almost fight every Jew I know almost kill killed somebody I always tell you if he said one more way he would have been dead today I was ready I was waiting one more way what's that word nobody knows what see Italians are just the opposite King what do you say I don't know see Italians are just the opposite of Jews a Jew cannot fight in the street but in an army he'll kill you Italians are just the opposite in a street they'll kill you in a second but somehow if you put him in an army did you hear about the Polish accountant who was an embezzler ran away with the accounts [Applause] payable see I just show you an example that that's why I would never tell a joke like that I find it personally offensive and degrading to jokes like that cuz I never cared if a man is a Jew or a gentile that's why I'm such a hit I never cared what a poison is I don't care if a man is a Puerto Rican well there should be a little

Channel: Ora Nissim

Views: 25,978

Keywords: comedy-, funny

Id: 3h12Yxl8BvA

Length: 4min 10sec (250 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 25 2011