Myron Cohen - Comedian (1951)

well he's in considerable demand for any occasion when people really and truly want to laugh I refer you now to the one and only the master storyteller Myron Cohen thank you my dear you know since this is the Thanksgiving season and I always like to associate that kind of season with little ones tonight as as appropriate as any to tell about just the lovely little ones you might have at home for example this adorable little eight-year-old girl quite like one you might have in your very own heart walked into a bakery shot and said to the baker my mommy found a fly in the raisin bread he says so bring back the fly I'll give you a raise and you know Chuck little six-year-old boy walked into the grocery and said mommy wants change of a dollar he gave him change of the dollar the little fella was on the way out the grocery call to him is a just a minute son where's the dollar so she give it to you Monday and you know since truth is so much stranger than fiction imagine a man who found it possible but 25 years of his life to arrive for work every morning at 9 o'clock just as the good Lord made the day he walked in for his work at 9:00 in the morning you could set your watch by his appearance and suddenly one morning after all these 25 years of punctual 9 o'clock appearances he walked in at 10:00 big lump on his head two black eyes bloody nose ear hanging lip torn clothes ripped in disheveled boss says what happened to you this is all I fell down all flight status almost got killed the boss says sir this took an hour you know I have a boss like that once but speaking of falling down I want you to hear about a man who's been drinking very heavily this man is loaded blind fractured there is a word that will accurately describe his condition it may be found in a new issue of the unabridged funk and Wagnalls dictionary he was spongy it's a it's a French derivative which will be found under the ref 4b I'm not sure but in this drunken stupor he walked into an empty elevator shaft he fell ten floors now that will happen to some of us on occasion picked himself up brushed himself off and said I guess I should have said up but you know idle conversation always gives me a big kick the other day I was standing about two or three feet from two young men were in conversation and one said to the other whether he was this past winter so I was in Palm Springs as she was where he says Pullum Springs so what is he you don't talk a good angles it's not problems blinks it's Palm Springs does you know you guys I added confuse with Palm Beach Angela ladies and gentlemen and then ask you please for a moment to imagine if you will Christmas in California Christmas in California what could be lovelier on the normal weather conditions than Christmas in California and native New Yorker walking along wilshire boulevard meets a native Californian and if you know native Californians you know very very proud they are their home state the Californian drawing himself up to his full height says to The New Yorker how do you like my California he answers typically New York so you don't like it what's the matter you don't sound enthused there's so what is to be enthused as California does you're not enjoying here so I'll tell you the two of I would be home on the Ortner will be enjoying better because why what we'll be doing since I will be packing to go to flower of course when you tell it in California you can switch it to suit yourself ladies and gentlemen the mention of California reminds me that in April just before I left Florida to come up north I was in a drugstore and lower Washington Avenue in Miami Beach the deep south little fellow Kevin sat down alongside of me at the soda fountain and I heard him say to the soda clerk today if y'all be so kind lead orphan you know it's a deep salty cause I feel like Debbie shall make me a pineapple banana Peach Melba as y'all put me in a special dryer on the bottom to stick with some pineapple now care you'll give us some new eyes not hair that I must explain axis southern delicacy like corn pone up here covered with yam said then you'll cut mother padania on top of this some chocolate ice cream then in honor of the harms ballgame he give up his house not a stick of tangerine will do then you give me some crushed nuts then some whippy a few chocolate sprinkles on the top there if you'll be so Connie is Stickney what I call a chair like this sir and the clerk says I got y'all to Mister maybe all got time to come in Monday for fitting you're very kind you know I like to think great many of the young men throughout the country have a right have a right to know that while they were away in the last war great many very strange but very interesting and humorous incidents occurred for example when the American army occupied Rome I then told a story of little Italian American soldier boy who had been given a pass through again since in civilian life he'd been a lover of the finer arts as most Italian families are it occurred to him it might be wise to visit some of the very beautiful palaces as mother told him about now he came up from three statues he couldn't quite understand the first statue looked like this the second like that in the third like that so he walked up the Italian caretaker says would you be kind enough sir to tell me what those three statues represent and the kinda did lo the Italian man said I'll be very awkward to tell you what they means I was playing a few he said the food's too starchy she said who spit on the floor he did me

Channel: vintage video clips

Views: 436,495

Keywords: Comedian, Comedy (TV Genre), myron cohen, 1951, classic tv, comedy, humor

Id: WEcD5px35Lc

Length: 7min 1sec (421 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 12 2013