Iyanla's MOST Powerful Pieces of Advice! | Top 10 Rules

so it's not selfish to put yourself first so it's self full it's self full self full to be first to be as good as possible to you to take care of you be willing to do a new thing in a new way and sometimes you're gonna have to piss people off in the process I give all meaning to everything I see if I see myself as broken wounded damaged crazy stupid whatever I guess meeting two that need motivation watching top 10 with belief nation what's up at seven my one word is believe and I believe in you I believe you have an amazing gift inside you that I wanna see explode out onto the world so let's get your motivation to attend and get you believing in you grab a snack and chew in today's lessons from a woman who was born in the back of a taxicab in Brooklyn New York had a petty criminal for a father who was absent from her life and had a mother who died from breast cancer while she was four years old to becoming an inspirational speaker author and TV personality she's iyanla Vanzant and here's my take on her top ten roses success vol 2 joy [Music] let's kick things off with rule number one know who you are you must know who you are I'm not talking about your name or your occupation and they're talking about what people say about you on Facebook I'm not talking about your PIN number I'm talking about who you are at the core and the essence in the root of your being spiritual code of conduct says you have to know who you are and that your behavior cannot make testimony about you that is not the truth of who you are when you have a spiritual code of conduct and when you know who you are if you ain't know how you don't act like a ho if you ain't a deadbeat daddy you don't act like a deadbeat daddy if you ain't not gonna you know act like a guttersnipe come on now you know who you are from the inside to the outside and your behavior is the demonstration of what you believe to be true about you special code of conduct says know who you are when somebody calls you out your name in your face rule number two my personal favorite put yourself first so it's not selfish to put yourself first so it's self full itself full self old to be first to be as good as possible to you to take care of you to keep you whole and healthy that doesn't mean that you disregard everything and everyone but you want to come with your cup full you know my cup runneth over what comes out of the cup is for y'all what's in the cup is mine but I got it don't we do that don't we take on other people's stuff and make it about us when we don't know that we matter when you don't know you matter you will make somebody else's crazy about you you got your own stuff to handle you don't have to take on anybody else people violate you when you don't have clear boundaries because you don't tell them how to behave in your life and they run amok they run amok because you don't have clear boundaries rule number three is know your worth real self knows the truth no matter what mask or what face you wear in the world your real self knows the truth and there was a time in my life when I acted like I knew a truth that I didn't know and the truth I didn't know was the depth of my value and my worth you see I had already been an author that had sold over six million books fourteen different titles I had already been on my own television show I had traveled around the world I had spoken to hundreds of thousands of people and still I did not know or value my own worth so and a very big opportunity to go forward and to beyond what was once called The Oprah Winfrey Show yes and I went on The Oprah Winfrey Show and Miss Winfrey asked me back again and again and again and eventually I became part of her change your life faculty and it was all good I had written 13 books I had traveled all over the country I had done her show repeatedly but I didn't know my own sense of worth so what happened I tried to live in a place that I didn't believe was true for me and eventually I crashed and burned crashed and burned by leaving The Oprah Winfrey Show and going on to another network and doing another show that didn't even survive a season all because I didn't know my worth now it would have looked like all sorts of external circumstances oh there was a miscommunication between me and miss Winfrey and the other network was offering me a lot of money and why shouldn't I take a big business deal no it was about me not knowing my own words me not being able to stand in the miracle of being on The Oprah Winfrey Show repeatedly among honored teachers without having to work hard for it because that was what I had been taught the matter with me was that I didn't know how to receive a gift a blessing without working hard for it so when things came to me easily I blew him up it's self sabotage or procrastination or forgetting or whatever it is that opportunity went away because I didn't know my worth that's the kind of truth we have to tell each other we have to be aware of it we have to acknowledge it and we have to accept it rule number four do not accept the unacceptable you don't have to be broke you don't have to struggle you don't have to be sad and sorry you don't have to take care of everybody just because you've always done it be willing to do a new thing in a new way and sometimes you're gonna have to piss people off in the process sometimes those people will hold you to your limitations they will hold you to what they believe to be true about you spiritual code of conduct says do not believe that because it hasn't happened it won't happen renew recharged your vision and do not be tricked into thinking that because it's always happened it has to continue to happen spiritual code of conduct says do not accept the unacceptable do not accommodate and tolerate what doesn't honor you rule number five is change your thoughts close your eyes for me for a moment and I want you to hear this I give all me to everything I see breathe I want you to take that thought out of here with you so that as you go back into your life that you remember I give all meaning to everything I see if I see myself as broken wounded damaged crazy stupid whatever I give meaning to that so if I want my life to have a new meaning let me pick thoughts and images that support Who I am rule number six unpack that baggage when something happens with a partner or friend and even a co-worker or or supervisor and you're bringing up all the other times that you've experienced that in the past that's baggage when you start your statements about why you do something a certain way or what you're not gonna do because of a certain experience that's baggage and these are just common everyday things this isn't even the hard stuff so I want to give you some unpacking skills for just the common everyday normal baggage that we walk around with these human beings if one person tells you you're a horse you don't have to believe that if two people tell you your horse you you may want to listen but by the time three people tell you that your horse you need to check yourself because I bet you got hay hanging out your mouth and your tail is wagging in other words if you keep hearing the same thing from different people at different times about you you need to unpack that package and don't hear it as criticism or make people wrong or bad ask them what they mean I remember when my my grandson told me that I was mean and I had heard that but I never paid attention to it because moi I me on the VIN said I can't be mean but when I sat and I listened to him and I realized wait a minute he's not the only one saying that to me I had to hear it and I had to unpack it so when you hear one or two or three unrelated people telling you the same thing don't dismiss that aspect tell me more about that because there may be some baggage that I have to unpack rule number seven ask for what you want you have to ask for what you want and don't settle for what's available or what you think you can get say it again they told me say it again a spiritual code of conduct says that you have to ask for what you want and do not settle for something because it's all you think you can have or because it's what's available if you want it single don't settle for it if it's married let me take a walk if you want it easy don't make it hard and if you want it hard then you gotta work with it if it's not [Applause] ask for what you want and ask for the things that are gonna up level your wattage in life don't set off the things that are going to dim your light I'm level your wattage sometime I like be bright blinding us your light is so brilliant it blinds you the reflection of its shiny back in your eye and so you get confused and you'll beat a holding on the things that do not reflect your own brilliance did you hear what I said that's your light your gift your talent your truth can be so brilliant that it blinds you and you end up reaching out for holding on to taking on taking care of housing feeding clothing lending money to stuff that only dims your life rule number eight is trust yourself often we teach preach say what we most need to learn what was it about trust that you needed to learn for yourself I grew up thinking that a woman was my mother who was not I grew up thinking that there was something wrong with me because of god only knows why my life will you explain why so well in reading about your grandmother I think she was related to my god in all the ways that you make children feel inadequate yeah I was bad yeah I was bad yeah I had to devil in me yeah had the devil in me and she was gonna beat it out because she was a woman who because of the times in which she was raised and the suppression and oppression had learned that it was best to go through the world keeping quiet keep quiet be they want you to be how do i knuckle down had I really given in to the restrictions and limitations placed on me I wouldn't be Who I am today was my talking that saved me here was the you know the classic shut up you talk too much shut up why you talk so much you've always got something to say and today people pay me well hear me speak yeah if I had shut up as a child that may not have never had so you learned that you needed to learn to trust yourself rule number nine use feedback to improve even when it doesn't feel good feedback can be a really really good thing but first I want us to make a distinction between feedback and criticism because I think that's important feedback is the energy or the return energy of what's put out this means that feedback is information about or reactions to our state of being and our performance in our our way of being in relationship feedback comes to us as a response or a reaction or sometime as comments or a review of what we do and how we show up at any given moment and feedback has a purpose the purpose of feedback is to provide us with guidance or direction that will serve as the influence for modification or change in our behavior and in our energy so in other words feedback is a cue that's something we do or say or how we behave needs to change that's all it is now that sounds pretty harmless but but here comes the challenge most feedback either feels or sounds critical which means that it's gonna trigger a toxic memory or a feeling which then motivates us to discount the feedback we're receiving you know we can't even hear it so so what is criticism man if feedback is criticism of what is criticism criticism is feedback that demoralizes condemns judges or blames it's feedback that is consciously or unconsciously offered to manipulate or control that's the difference where feedback is offered to motivate correction or change criticism is offered to manipulate and control and in many many cases while what people offer as constructive criticism what they want to give us it actually criticizes us and that's what leads to a mental or emotional shutdown and we can lose the value of what's being offered because criticism is our offering now here's the good news all criticism is feedback and here's the bad news all criticism is feedback what I mean is this whether it's positive or negative productive or unproductive all feedback is telling you something you need to know about yourself and what you hear and how you hear it has nothing to do with who's saying it all feedback is about who you be and how you be and it's bringing that to your awareness there's something you need to change beloved whether it is coming at you from your mother or your sister or your boss or your coworker or your partner feedback is a source of information for self improvement and it can be received and used as the foundation for altering and changing your way of being or specific course of behavior and rule number 10 the last one before the bonus clips have a morning routine do you have a morning ritual oh yes absolutely soon as my eyes open 23rd song as soon as my eyes open I'd do it and then I usually go I go sage my house out cuz I don't know what was floating around in there in the night cuz you know I live out in the bushes like you then I make my coffee and I do love my morning coffee and then I read my my Course in Miracles lesson for the day I read my Jesus calling mmm-hmm and then I put my Bible to my head and open it and wherever it opens that's what I mean and then I go downstairs and sometimes I get on the treadmill and sometimes I just dust it off I always get on my trampoline uh-huh and do my 15 minutes there uh-huh and then I get on my inversion table and I hang upside down yeah yeah because the rust of bloods of my head and keep me from getting wrinkled and then I'm off for my day now I've got some special Iyanla bonus cuts for you but before that my question of the day for you is what is your morning routine what is a single thing that you have to do every single morning leave it down the comments below I'm really curious to find out thank you guys so much for watching I believe in you I hope we continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one where it is much love I'll see you soon and enjoy the bonus clips do ground yourself spiritually every day that means when you get up in the morning connect with something bigger greater grander than you ground yourself spiritually every day that means believe in trust in connect to something bigger than you something grander something more divine something that makes your divinity worthwhile if you don't you can be knocked off Center by everything that comes your way we've all had that experience where it just seems that we're not moving we're holding on or we're no matter what we do it doesn't seem to be advancing us this is what we call the experience of being stuck of not being able to move or manifests or Express or experience that which we desire to do being stuck is both a mental experience and emotional experience and sometimes a physical experience and there are three reasons that we get stuck number one we really don't know who we are when you don't know who you are you don't know what you are capable and you get stuck in your limited perceptions of yourself and reality number two when you don't want to find out who you are and you won't take the risk to push yourself beyond what you know and when you are stuck on your story stuck on your sadness just stuck on being stuck you don't want to know who you are so you won't push yourself you'll stay where it's comfortable you'll stay where it's familiar boy will you be stuck and the other reason that we get stuck is because we live down to other people's expectations of us how many times have we been told as children you can't do that don't do that you can't do that you won't do that they won't let me and we believe that and we stay stuck raise your standard Apple at the core its core value is that that people passion not one drop of my self-worth depends on Europe it's suppose to mean I don't ever give up I'd have to be dead or completely incapacitated hey believe nation if you want to see my all-time favorite top ten most a success I have a very special secret video for you these are the individual clips that I have personally learned the most from and applied to my life and my business check the link the description for details

Channel: Evan Carmichael

Views: 997,499

Rating: 4.9059496 out of 5

Keywords: entrepreneur, do not accept the unacceptable - iyanla vanzant - top 10 rules, iyanla vanzant top 10 rules for success, iyanla vanzant, iyanla vanzant motivation, iyanla vanzant advice, success motivation, success advice, iyanla vanzant interview, iyanla vanzant speech, best of iyanla vanzant, life coach, personal development, iyanla fix my life, powerful pieces of advice, spiritual code of conduct

Id: VzJWTPfvMKs

Length: 22min 9sec (1329 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 15 2018