Is It Vulnerable Narcissism or BPD?

[Music] [Music] hi everyone welcome to the podcast my name is dr mark eatonson i'm a licensed psychologist specializing in the treatment of narcissism and related disorders and i'm also author of the book unmasking narcissism a guide to understanding the narcissist in your life so a number of people have been asking me to clarify the differences between vulnerable narcissism and borderline personality disorder or bpd both can have similar presentations and it can be difficult to discern the correct diagnosis so first let's clarify the term borderline at least in psychodynamic methodologies borderline has two meanings and both are relevant to today's episode the first meaning refers to the severity of disturbance in a person's personality people with borderline level personalities are considered to have moderate to severe disturbances now remember we aren't necessarily talking about bpd here we're talking about a broad measure of disturbance that can apply to multiple personality styles borderline level personalities rely on psychological defenses that distort reality blur interpersonal boundaries and disrupt the continuity of internal experience these defenses include things like projection projective identification denial acting out idealization and devaluation and splitting individuals at this level of disturbance also tend to externalize their problems perceiving them as coming from outside the self they often feel like everything is someone else's fault and they experience themselves as essentially powerless over their circumstances and this feeling of powerlessness gets channeled into rages or tantrums and attempts to control the behavior of other people but they can also descend into spirals of self-hatred and self-loathing that can lead to self-injury and even suicide now these sorts of issues can be found in anyone with a borderline level personality organization regardless of their personality style it's a bit confusing but just think of borderline as referring to someone being on the quote border between severe personality disturbance and mild to moderate personality disturbance for someone to have a personality disorder their disturbances must be at or below the borderline level of severity so let's do a couple of examples to illustrate let's say that person one has a narcissistic personality style but they're functioning pretty well they're flexible they have good insight concerning themselves and other people they have good distress tolerance and they don't rely on reality distorting defenses we would say that that person is functioning above the borderline level and therefore that they don't have a personality disorder we'd say that they just have some central insecurities about self-esteem that are relatively well managed now let's say that another person also has a narcissistic personality style but their issues are more severe their perception of themself is distorted their moods fluctuate between extreme highs and lows and they're hypersensitive to feeling ashamed blamed or humiliated and perhaps more importantly let's say that they hold other people responsible for those feelings let's say that they also idealize and devalue other people act impulsively and fly into rages but then later act like nothing happened we would say that that person is functioning at the borderline level and therefore that they have npd or narcissistic personality disorder essentially they have the same personality style the same central issues and insecurities as the first person but the disturbances are much more severe people functioning at the borderline level often have numerous comorbidities like depression anxiety and substance use and if you think about it that makes sense someone who has an unstable identity and unstable moods and who feels powerless or out of control will likely develop issues like depression and anxiety over time and they're also more likely to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol okay so that was the first meaning of borderline as a broad measure of disturbance in the personality now the second meaning refers specifically to borderline personality disorder or bpd individuals with bpd tend to experience others as either too close or too distant and they have trouble feeling comfortable with any amount of intimacy if someone's too close then the person with bpd feels impinged upon or even taken over and they tend to react with severe anger designed to re-establish a boundary but if someone is too distant then the person with bpd tends to feel abandoned and they may actually lash out at themselves for not being good enough or lovable self-injury is common for individuals with bpd okay so we've discussed the term borderline as a way of measuring the severity of disturbance in a personality and also as a discrete personality disorder so now let's talk about how npd and bpd overlap so for one they're both personality disorders and that means that people with either npd or bpd are functioning at the borderline level they both rely on similar ways of defending themselves from unwanted experience they use projection projective identification denial idealization and devaluation and splitting they both have problems with self-image and confusions about the boundaries between the self and others they both want to feel loved and admired and are also hypersensitive to feeling rejected and they also tend to externalize blame for their problems to act impulsively and to have low thresholds for distress tolerance the main difference is that in npd there's typically a compensatory false self and that's a part of the personality that's been split off from deeply felt feelings of insecurity and not being good enough the false self strives for perfection and narcissists seek constant infusions of positive regard and admiration in order to keep the false self in working order and in this way they're actually quite dependent on other people for basic self-esteem and this dependency threatens the false self which leads to further internal compartmentalizations denial and splitting now in vulnerable narcissistic states when the cracks in the false self begin to show the underlying issues in the personality become more apparent the self-image goes from defensive superiority to instability and depletion instead of self-assuredness there may be extreme self-doubt instead of charm and charisma social anxiety the symptoms of vulnerable narcissism look a lot like bpd but that's because of the underlying borderline level personality organization common to both grandiose narcissism is simply a defensive facade and when the defense collapses the deficits and dysfunction in the personality become much more obvious individuals with bpd have many of those same deficits and dysfunctions they just don't tend to have a defensive facade to cover them up so i hope that clears up some of the differences and similarities between vulnerable npd and bpd in many ways they aren't really separate disorders the structural problems in the personality are very similar with each and the main difference is how those dysfunctions are expressed and also the central preoccupations or concerns that sort of define each disorder for npd the main concern is about self-worth while for bpd the main concern is about managing closeness versus abandonment now as always keep in mind that this is just a general overview and to get an accurate diagnosis you need to work with a licensed mental health professional if you do feel that these descriptions fit your experience know that you're not alone both npd and bpd are treatable issues and there's hope for healing so please reach out with questions or suggestions for future topics and until next time take good care [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Heal NPD

Views: 10,016

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Id: ZZP6gAm5L6c

Length: 9min 36sec (576 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 19 2022