Malignant Narcissism

foreign [Music] welcome to heal NPD my name is Dr Mark eatonson I'm a licensed psychologist specializing in the treatment of pathological narcissism and related issues and I'm also author of the book unmasking narcissism a guide to understanding The Narcissist in your life the book's a Hands-On guide to understanding the psychology of narcissism from a compassionate perspective and it's available at Major book retailers I'll put a link down in the description so a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine asked me to do an episode on malignant narcissism and I think you see this term used a lot on the internet but it's often used incorrectly to some malignant narcissism simply emphasizes uh what the person already understands narcissism to be it's like saying hot fire or tall mountain While others seem to use the term to refer to a kind of narcissism that's just really severe like narcissism turned up to an 11 on the severity dial to them malignant narcissism is like catching a bad cold it's still essentially a cold it's just a really bad case of it but neither of those ways of using the term are correct so let's get into the concept of malignant narcissism What It Is What It Isn't and also what experts in the field actually mean when they use this term but first I think it's worth a very brief discussion of the history behind the term malignant narcissism was first coined in 1964 by a German social psychologist psychoanalyst and philosopher Eric from Eric Frum was a holocaust Survivor he fled Germany during the rise of the Nazi regime and like many psychologists and philosophers of his time the events of World War II had a profound impact on him his concept of malignant narcissism was actually his attempt to understand the psychology behind the toxic ambition and Evil exhibited by dictators and tyrants like Adolf Hitler from wrote that in his opinion malignant narcissism was the quintessence of human evil and after from not much was done with the concept for about 20 years until Otto kernberg who's a prominent theorist on the topic of narcissism revived the term in his 1984 book titled severe personality disorders his model really shaped our understanding of malignant narcissism as a clinical construct that isn't explicitly anchored in subjective Notions of Good and Evil in this presentation I will mainly be drawing from kernberg's model because it's by far the more influential when it comes to clinical work so according to kernberg malignant narcissism has two proper meanings the first is as a discrete type of personality disorder that involves a combination of grandiose NPD and anti-social personality traits the Second Use is less common and it refers to a phase or episode in narcissistic pathology in which grandiose defenses that are suffused with strong primitive aggression come to the surface and get enacted in relationships typically the therapy relationship so first let's talk about the more common use and that's malignant narcissism as a type of personality disorder malignant narcissists function at or below the borderline level of Personality organization and if you want to know more about what that means I did a podcast titled is it vulnerable narcissism or BPD that goes into greater detail about borderline level personality organization and I'll link to that in the description if you're watching this on YouTube but basically the word borderline here doesn't mean borderline personality disorder instead it refers to a range of Personality functioning that involves moderate to severe Psychopathology BPD actually gets its name from this concept not the other way around individuals in the borderline range of Personality organization experience moderate to severe disturbances that create internal discontinuity distortions of reality and porous or blurred boundaries between the self and other people and these disturbances involve classic borderline level defenses like splitting projection projective identification denial idealization and devaluation and acting out they also include classic deficits like identity diffusion feelings of emptiness low distress tolerance dysregulated mood and other so-called pan-neurotic symptoms that sort of run the gamut of moderate to severe psychopathology as with any personality disorder these disturbances often stem from early relational trauma that disrupts the development of realistic integrated internal models of self and others so it's important to know that when we use the term malignant narcissism in this way as a type of Personality Disorder it's not the same thing as NPD it's not simply a severe version of narcissism it's actually its own distinct personality style and it involves four Essential Elements the first is a narcissistic personality core the second is anti-social personality traits the third is something called ego syntonic sadism and the fourth is paranoid thinking so let's go through those uh basically what I want to emphasize here first is that it differs in kind not simply in degree from normal or regular NPD okay so because of the narcissistic personality core malignant narcissists are typically arrogant grandiose envious and preoccupied with fantasies of power Brilliance Beauty and perfection but they also have classical anti-social traits like lack of remorse contempt or disregard of social conventions and um amorality they have no problem lying stealing cheating or taking advantage of other people in pursuit of their goals now the term ego syntonic sadism means that there's sort of a perverse pleasure in causing harm pain or discomfort to other people some authors call this a conscious ideology of aggressive self-affirmation in which the individual feels Justified or even in some ways elated to dehumanize others because they perceive them through a lens of Envy or disdain these individuals will typically project their unconscious feelings of weakness or Frailty onto other people and then sort of punish those people for those projected qualities they boost their own sense of well-being of being strong or powerful at the expense of other people malignant narcissists also tend to have a paranoid mistrust of others and that's because they view them through a lens a categorical sort of lens as either enemies or fools or Idols in individuals with this type of pathology the self is extremely damaged at a very early stage of development the ability to recognize others as human beings with feelings of their own is actively obliterated within the personality at an unconscious level and instead the individual's own needs feelings and impulses are projected onto everyone around them they essentially live in a world that's populated only by their own projections because they're unable to sort of see anyone else as a separate Center of subjective experience so let's get into why this happens and again uh this is what I'm about to describe here is highly theoretical but you know you may be wondering why would some individuals develop the regular version of pathological narcissism While others develop malignant narcissism so as I said earlier Otto kernberg is one of the most prominent and influential theorists on the topic of NPD he uses a theory called object relations which is a psychoanalytic model of how we develop internal images of the self and of other people and according to kernberg NPD is the result and this is regular NPD now it's the result of a pathological Fusion between parts of the personality in defense against something called primitive aggression now the term primitive comes up quite often in psychoanalytic models of personality disorders and although it may conjure up images of cavemen the term is actually referring to defenses and feelings that are thought to occur very early in infancy or childhood think prior to Age Two uh and this is when feelings of Rage shame dependency or Terror caused the child's developing psyche to fragment on an almost daily basis so to illustrate try to remember the last time you screamed or cried the way a baby does for most adults such anguish occurs very rarely because we've developed defenses to hold ourselves and our grip on reality together most adults don't completely fall apart outside of exceptional circumstances but young children completely fall apart all the time when they don't get an ice cream cone or when they have a wet diaper basically anytime something uncomfortable occurs now psychologists use the term primitive to describe these experiences because they haven't been refined or moderated by more mature psychological defenses part of the Psychopathology of personality disorders is that the individual has not developed reliable defenses to help mitigate these so-called primitive feelings and impulses they distort reality split off parts of the self or project unwanted feelings and self-images onto others and this is because of relational trauma that disrupted the development of more mature realistic and integrated images of the self and other people okay so kernberg wrote that NPD is the result of pathological Fusion between parts of the personality in defense against primitive aggression essentially the individual is defensively organized in such a way as to minimize dependency on unreliable exploitative or cruel caregivers who cause the child to experience chronic frustration and overwhelming aggression now remember young children don't have mature defenses to keep things in perspective when frustration and overwhelming anger occur on a frequent basis the developing child is forced to sort of reorganize their internal world to protect their ability to rely on caregivers who are hurting them uh so they create a self-structure that sort of short circuits dependency and this self-structure is called a grandiose self kernberg writes at this point there is Fusion of Ideal self ideal object and actual self images as a defense against an intolerable reality in the interpersonal Realm in their fantasies these patients identify themselves with their own ideal self-images in order to deny dependency on external objects basically if you're already perfect then you don't need anything and if you don't need anything then you're not subject to the overwhelming primitive anger and aggression that comes up when your needs are being actively and chronically denied by caregivers so krenberg is saying that the child fuses together their ideal self-image their fantasy of an ideal or perfect caregiver and their actual self-image their sense of who they really are into a pathological grandiose self he writes it's as if they were saying I don't need to fear that I will be rejected that ideal person and my ideal image of that person and my real self are all one and I don't need anyone else anymore dependency needs and Associated feelings that threaten the grandiose self are split off and repressed by the child to become self-sufficient and that's because depending on their caregivers to meet their emotional needs is too dangerous at this point feelings of inadequacy of Rage of dependency and of primitive anger or aggression they're split off and they're driven down into the unconscious kernberg writes at the bottom lies a still deeper image of the relationship with external objects it's the image of a hungry enraged empty self full of anger and fearful of a world that seems as hateful and revengeful as the patient himself so to summarize in kernberg's model of regular NPD the child rearranges parts of the self in order to defend against overwhelming anger and primitive aggression they figure out a way to in fantasy become self-sufficient and quote perfect in order to keep their world from being overrun by feelings of hate for the very people they're supposed to love and on whom they are forced to depend now the key here is that the grandiose self is created to protect the child and their caregivers from the child's own overwhelming anger and aggression and this is where malignant narcissism is different in malignant narcissism the grandiose self becomes overrun by the Primitive aggression it is created to defend against the aggression becomes a part of the ego syntonic experience of self it isn't disowned repressed or split off kernberg writes that in contrast to ordinary narcissistic personality these patients malignant narcissists experienced increased self-esteem and confirmation of the grandiosity when they can express aggression toward themselves or other people and he speculates that there are four factors that are typically present in the early childhood of malignant narcissists first they experience caregivers as both omnipotent and sadistic or cruel there's no psychic escape from the omnipotent and cruel caregiver who dominates all aspects of the child's early experience second the ever-presence of the cruel or in other words sadistic and omnipotent caregiver creates a sense in the developing child that having good loving or mutually gratifying relationships is impossible third the child develops a sense that total submission to the cruel caregiver is the only condition for survival they essentially abandoned the search for good objects and relationships instead allowing their developing sense of self to be overrun by identifications with the sadistic caregiver who becomes a part of the child's personality in the form of something called an interject and fourth once this identification with the sadistic or cruel caregiver is complete a sense of power and Freedom From Pain fear or dread is experienced by the child the child has become the cruel object that was formally feared and therefore there's no more need for fear so in kramberg's model malignant narcissists are forced to make a compromise very early in their psychological development in the face of a powerful and sadistic caregiver the child abandons the search for good objects and a grandiose self is formed just like in regular narcissism but unlike in regular narcissism that self-structure becomes fused with identifications with the sadistic caregiver the malignant narcissist wins Freedom through submission allowing the expression of anger hate cruelty and express and aggression to become the dominant mode through which connection with other people is achieved the grandiose self of malignant narcissists is propped up by aggression it collapses in the absence of it attempts to reach the vulnerable parts of the individual are actually experienced by the individual as a direct assault on the person's core sense of self and they're met with immediate cruelty that also serves to prop up the grandiose self through identifications with the sadistic object or caregiver and this is why sadism and malignant narcissism is ego syntonic or experienced as sort of in alignment with the self and it's also why paranoia is often present the individual grew up experiencing constant attacks by the person or people who were supposed to care for them the anti-social aspects of malignant narcissism like lack of remorse are due to the person's denial of their own humanity and vulnerability how can they recognize in other people what they've sort of abandoned or refuse or refuse to recognize in themselves so to illustrate how this personality type might look the evil queen from Snow White or the evil stepmother from Cinderella provide good if exaggerated prototypical examples these characters are aloof they're cold arrogant and they're obsessed with power and vanity the attempt to humiliate psychologically destroy or even kill those around them in pursuit of their own self-aggrandizement and they experience No Remorse in the process they inhabit a psychological landscape that's split into that which is theirs and therefore perfect and that which threatens their status and must therefore be destroyed okay so that was the first use of the term malignant narcissism according to Otto kernberg as a separate personality disorder that involves aspects of narcissism anti-social Behavior ego syntonic sadism and paranoia the second use of the term is much less common so in addition to malignant narcissists as a type of Personality Disorder kernberg also recognized that periods of malignant narcissism may be encountered in the treatment of regular NPD and that's due to the difficulty of resolving the pathological grandiose self now remember in kernberg's model the grandiose self is a fusion of the ideal self ideal images of others and the actual self and part of the work of treatment is to kind of defuse this structure which then exposes the patient to the repressed and split off rage anger shame and aggression that the grandiose self was created to defend against in the first place as these defenses start to loosen the patient may also be exposed to underlying identifications with cruel or sadistic objects internalized images of caregivers that have become a part of the personality at an unconscious level and when these identifications are threatened by the therapist's kindness positive regard or sensitivity to the patient's feelings the patient may begin to psychologically attack the therapist and it seems paradoxical that this would happen but you have to remember that um the therapist is is disrupting the status quo the therapist is Awakening long repressed dependency longings within the patient and Associated primitive anger and aggression at never having had those those emotional needs met in the first place the personality sometimes rallies in defense of the patient deploying the same tactics that were used against the patient when they were very young warmth is met with coldness sensitivity is met with cruelty and positive regard is met with derision or devaluation these so-called malignancies are the product of an unconscious identification with the cruel or sadistic caregiver and they have to be worked through patiently in the therapy in order to help the patient let go of those defenses and open the door to new possibilities so I guess the take-home Point here would be that malignant narcissism is not the same thing as regular NPD most of our media representations of NPD are actually of malignant narcissists which is why they seem so scary malignant narcissism is actually very challenging to treat and that's due to the anti-social sadistic and paranoid components that are present malignant narcissists also rarely enter treatment voluntarily while people with a sort of regular pathological narcissism and NPD periodically or chronically experience a collapse of their grandiose defenses and they kind of fall into a vulnerable expression of the disorder malignant narcissists don't collapse in the same way they actively defend against such Collapse by externalizing any feelings of weakness or vulnerability and then behaving cruelly toward other people um sadistic or cruel treatment of others in malignant narcissism provides a feeling of Freedom From Pain fear or distress and and this is a very difficult defense to modify in treatment of patients of this sort should probably focus more on harm reduction and helping the patient to find more adaptive ways of coping rather than attempting to modify underlying personality structures so if you're listening to this and identify with some of these descriptions of malignant narcissism remember that I'm describing a theoretical construct here and that such constructs necessarily collapse you know complex Dynamics into simplified models for the purpose of explanation each of us is far more complex than any label or diagnosis but if you do feel that some of these descriptions match your experience of yourself then take it seriously seek out treatment with a qualified mental health professional none of us is responsible for the events that shaped our personality but we are responsible for what we do about it the better you come to know yourself the more empowered you become to make better decisions okay so that's it for today as always leave comments questions or suggestions for future episodes down below and until next time take good care [Music] thank you

Channel: Heal NPD

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Id: A9XGEG0enww

Length: 23min 11sec (1391 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 19 2022