Are BPD and NPD the same?

hi so it's dr fox and in this video we're going to talk about the what's what of bpd and npd and we're going to go over the similarities differences and overlaps now it's very common for people to confuse bpd with npd but they're very different disorders in many many ways but they do have some aspects that overlap right and are similar we know that so in this video we're going to examine this to help you identify the what's what before we do that let's look at some global definitions of these two disorders now bpd is a disorder that includes a pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships self-image emotions and marked impulsivity whereas npd right narcissistic personality disorder is a pattern of grandiosity need for admiration and a lack of empathy so now that we kind of just have that global stuff out of the way right let's examine and break down the similarities differences and overlaps of bpd and npd that tend to cause a lot of confusion when these traits are exhibited in individuals in your life so let's kind of dive in we got the powerpoint going and all that and we'll break it down we'll go over it and provide some clarity here we go now when we look at bpd some particular components or aspects and traits are impulsivity and we see that a lot in individuals with bpd right that they get excited they get activated their core content get activated and then they engage in behavior without really or say something without really thinking it through so we see that a lot in those dpd and you may be thinking wait a minute people with npd do that too that's true hold on we're going to go through it we're going to go through it stay with me all right now the other common trait that we see in bpd is intolerance of aloneness and this is something that we don't really see in npd right and it's this difficulty kind of being by yourself it's this need to be with others and a lot of times this sense of aloneness or emptiness sometimes it's felt as this component of emptiness that if you're not around others or you don't feel loved or you don't feel a connection you feel this sense of disappearing and that's common in folks with bpd that we don't see in folks with npd fear of abandonment is another trait or component that we see in bpd that we don't often see in those with npd now the sphere of abandonment of course is that you know you're trying to bring people close you're trying to get this sense of safety and relationships and connection to others but this fear that that person isn't going to be there that you're going to say something do something or just something's going to happen that's going to cause that person to go away and it's this fear of abandonment that really ignites a lot of behaviors and surface content that causes a lot of impulsivity right that in that causes folks to engage in a lot of reckless behavior that sometimes can really be detrimental not only to relationships but to themselves as well now concern about acceptance and nurturance now this concern about acceptance and nurturance is this focus on trying to be okay by the external world providing something that that individual feels they need without knowing what it is that they need and if that sounds confusing that's probably why for a lot of folks life is confusing for individuals with with bpd because they want this except in nurturance but often they go about trying to get that in really maladaptive and sometimes self-destructive or relationship destructive ways so you see this particularly in those with bpd that kind of separates it certainly from npd narcissistic personality disorder now let's talk about npd so what separates that npd component and it's a grandiose self-image right it's this sense of that i want to project this sense that i'm perfect right that i am just it i am the top shelf there's other ways to say it but a lot of them have curse words and i don't want to add any curse words in it so there you go but it says grandiose self-image right how wonderful perfect and without flaws i am and they want to be noticed right and when they're not noticed here's that component of impulsivity when they're not noticed that can incur what's called a narcissistic wound which can then cause them to engage in really maladaptive and destructive behaviors typically to others narcissists rarely really hurt themselves it's very rare for that to happen doesn't mean it won't happen just means that it's very rare for that to happen this sense of superiority is certainly something that you've seen individuals with npd that you don't see in bpd and in npd what we see is that these these individuals often are trying to one-up you all the time even if you're not playing the game they're still trying to one-up you oh well i did this oh yeah well i did this you know i also did this you know i have that and then when i have that well i have this first and you can't have it first because i had it first and it's always this sense of superiority they're always trying to assert their sense of superiority to fulfill that internal sense of superiority that they're better than everyone else right that they have no flaws that they have no issues that they are superior and better than all others now the next component is a need to be admired and we don't see this in individuals with bpd in npd you see that they want to do things or say things or act in a way that other people are like wow that's cool interestingly because a lot of narcissism tends to be very self-destructive not only to themselves but to relationships a little bit of overlap right with bpd but we're going to get to that in just a second but it's this need to be admired that you don't see in bpd but in npd so that they believe that in saying things doing things will get that admiration but a lot of times it's self-destructive because it's paired with that sense of superiority and that grandiose self-image so these are not mutually exclusive and they all kind of operate together to create in many instances depending on the severity of the narcissistic personality disorder about how destructive it can be to their home life to their work life to their relationships with family friends partners romantic partners and things like that so that need to be admired is they're always going for that it's this carrot that they always want to achieve but and it's very similar to that acceptance and nurturance right that we see in folks with bpd that being admired isn't well defined in them right so if you want to be admired how will you know that you're admired and when i've asked individuals with a narcissistic personality disorder who i've worked with a lot of times like i'll just know it and it's like well okay all right but if you had to break it down what do you think and a lot of times that's a really frustrating question for them to be asked and they may get irritated because a lot of times they have really short patience for exploration particularly into their thoughts feelings behaviors and patterns now the next component is concern about status and task performance and this is critical because i think their perception of status right certainly that need to be admired superiority grandiose self-image so they have to have this sense of status that what they're doing is to be not only marveled by others right that admiration but they want to feel like they're achieving this status and some narcissists do some nurses are able to achieve very high ranking or very wealthy positions right but there's this great concern that whatever status they reach well there must be another status and then another status and then we go to task performance most individuals along narcissistic spectrum really achieve very little if we look at overall if you put all the narcissists in in a basket right you would have a small percentage that have achieved a lot and you would have the majority of that basket it would actually achieve very little because a lot of them aren't willing to take risks in order to achieve right in order to achieve success we all have to take risks and individuals with npd don't take risks because of that sensitivity that they have on the inside that fear that they're holding on the inside because any failure is often met with ridicule whether it's internal or it's external so that task performance is critical so they typically won't engage in a task unless they're sure and a hundred and million percent sure that's a big percent right that they will not fail a good example is many many years ago i worked with a physician he did follow along the narcissistic spectrum and you know we were talking and one time he was telling me about his medical school experience and he said medical school isn't hard he goes anybody could do it because who can't read a book and know everything that's in it and it's interesting because if you think about that statement and i'll never forget it because he was very very very bright and he could consume and manage information really really easily and he just had this sense that well everybody can do that so that's not the big deal right there were other things that helped achieve status certainly his md was a component of that certainly the sense of superiority right he had saved and helped actually a lot of people and he did has this grandiose self-image with very low tolerance of others about you know the things that he could do and so on and so forth so we see that with that concern of status and task performance let's kind of tease these two apart where's that overlap what are some of those overlapping components so the first one we see that is common between those with bpd and npd that's that sensitivity to criticism because what happens is any criticism for the individual bpd it goes to their core self right so their rupture that's like oh my god you know who i am is wrong very similar and in many cases identical because that individual with npd when they get feedback or criticism it goes to their core self of believing that i'm inadequate i'm a failure you know they may not go as far as the bpd individual who says that they're broken but the npd individual they incur this narcissistic wound because of the criticism so on the inside they're very afraid very uncertain a lot of guilt and a lot of doubt and that criticism really ignites that now there's a lot of ragefulness on both sides so individuals bpd often show rage when they're rejected often show raised when they experience these components of abandonment and a lot of times also with jealousy as well a lot of individuals with bpd when they experience a situation in which they're jealous of someone else maybe and i i see very often in relationships right in their relationship someone else maybe a new friend that their partner has met who they think is really cool and neat not the bpd individual but their partner thinks cool is cool and neat like oh you know this person at work they're really cool they're really neat things like that that triggers a lot of the internal core content and in many cases you know individual bpd they try to control it they try to contain it and it builds over time until they have that intensive florid bpd impulsive response that can come out certainly as a rageful episode individuals with npd narcissistic personality disorder now there is narcissistic rage right when they get that criticism when they don't achieve the things that they feel they are deserving of that can then cause a narcissistic rachel moment right where they're acting out sometimes aggressively if they feel like they're going to lose something that is part of that superiority that is part of that admiration maybe it's like a trophy spouse or significant other right then that loss can trigger an episode of rage for that individual then we have entitlement and a lot of times entitlement people think okay well with npd you have entitlement but how do we have entitlement with bpd so let's talk about the npd first so that entitlement in npd is that because they exist they deserve that's kind of their mantra right because i exist i deserve what else is there okay so that's kind of an idea that they hold right but for bpd sometimes entitlement it comes out and is exhibited as this sense of that it's not the same as a sense of superiority that they deserve something it's it's more like that they don't process the things that they need so they engage in behaviors that can sometimes be obsessive right they can sometimes be compulsive i'm not saying they have obsessive-compulsive disorder ocd or ocpd either i'm not saying that what i'm saying is that there's a sense of entitlement is they don't necessarily consider the consequences to others because they are almost desperate to get that need met and they behave in a way as though they are exhibiting entitlement right like a text i send you a text i'm entitled to your response because what happens when they don't get that response that then they start to break down right internally that abandonment kicks off that rejection kicks off as well so those things start to sort of develop right they start to intensify in the individual so they behave in ways they come across as though they're really really entitled because they may not consider the ramifications of their behavior of the things that they say because of that desperation that they have so a lot of times you see that they're like oh well that person will bpd they think they're entitled to all of my attention and it may come across that way and it's been categorized that way in a lot of research as well as by a lot of clinicians but it's important to realize that it's part of the pathology so i think you know even though there is an surface overlap i think the core content which is why i focus on it with all of my clients is such a differentiating factor that we discussed here and i really hope that this video has helped you a lot i hope that it is illuminated some of the similarities but also certainly the differences and it helped maybe clarify some questions for you or started you on a journey to to learn more so i really hope it's done that for you and i wish you all the best and thanks for your time and attention please take care thanks and bye

Channel: Dr. Daniel Fox

Views: 34,729

Keywords: bpd npd overlap, bpd and npd relationship, bpd and npd comorbidity, bpd and npd couple, bpd and npd attraction, bpd and npd marriage, bpd npd breakup, narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, mental health, bpd, npd, npd treatment, npd mother, npd symptoms, bpd symptoms, dr fox borderline personality disorder, dr fox bpd, dr fox narcissism, dr fox narcissistic parents, dr fox splitting, dr fox covert narcissist, dr fox bpd relationship

Id: qWNSvEYFVwY

Length: 15min 20sec (920 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 06 2022