Influencer Roundtable | Logan Paul, Peter Crone, André Duqum & more | 12 Brilliant Minds

if we as a collective want to reinvent the current systems we have then we can't come at it from the same way of thinking that created them in the first place it's this like weird state of toxicity that america especially is sitting in right now i think more people just need to lead with love and understanding recognizing our vibratory state is a contribution to the collective the world needs role models the world needs leaders right now so we need to just be the example what is the internal work that i'm doing to end the war with myself being transparent about that is the next level of leadership and once you know who you are at the core you know exactly who you're not and that's freedom the true philosophers and true leaders somehow find a way through the middle and they're able to capture everybody's heart through some sort of shared humanity one of the greatest diseases on this planet is that we've become overserious mysterious the next martin luther king's in the gandhis is not an individual person but it's a group of individuals that operate as one body as one voice so we're here right now representing that and we really manifested this property to cultivate the future stewards of society wow what an honor what an honor seriously so grateful that all of you are here amazing amazing light workers leaders in different industries across different walks of life and yeah it's just really a privilege to be with you all today uh i've done like similar things like this since i was 16 years old i would get uh basically a bunch of my friends like business partners at the time and uh yeah we would get together every weekend and we just like what we learned about ourselves and like growth you know and personal development um and uh and obviously you know as i grow on my journey and meet incredible individuals with amazing land and your network grows like it gets to be up level a little bit so this is a really cool moment for me uh so i just want to say thank you all first and foremost yeah and really how this came about right so stewards of society uh is the name that we're that we're giving this and i looked at the definition of of a of a steward and it's essentially a person who's looking after the passengers on a ship and you know passengers being the people on planet earth right now and the ship being earth right and so i would say that for many of us feel like we're cultivating getting to that place right we're cultivating getting to the place where we can be a steward for society and and uh and you know with to steal a quote from ben parker right spider-man with great power comes a great responsibility i i really i feel that and so the responsibility privilege is there and so i see that all of you and i'm really really excited for all the magic that is to unfold so how i got to this point right is meeting ben and azure and then coming to live on this land to do work together seeing that they had very similar visions as well and building this exact table for these jeffersonian-type dinners it was just super in alignment and so that's how we're here today if you guys want to kind of share a little bit more about the second mountain and your vision with all this we'd love to hear yeah so has anybody read the book the second mountain table um so david brooks wrote a book called the second mountain that inspired the name of this property and in that book he talks about how typically people climb this first mountain of traditional success they go they go they go to school they get the degree they get the career they buy the car the house maybe the plane maybe the ferrari whatever and a lot of times they get to the top of the first mountain and find that they are unfulfilled and so frequently then people step into climbing the second mountain which is being of service to society the world in some way and so we named this property the second mountain because we called it in we really manifested this property to to do the coaching work that we do and to to really cultivate the future stewards of society to take those people that have climbed the first mountain and helped them find some purpose to live and so yeah and so we named this property the second mountain we literally built this table for for these type of gatherings um this is the first um time we've used the table amazing so yeah really the intention of the evening is one make dope connections with powerful light workers in all walks of life and you know hopefully have some powerful conversation that leaves us all more capable and expands our consciousness to be you know um more capable of service to society at large and so that's really the purpose of the gathering and yeah so we'll we'll just kind of start diving into everything and azrael if you would open us up with the first topic so this is kind of a personal close to home subject for us and we sent the question out in the email um the question is what is the relevance of promises vows and commitments and a paradigm built on radical trust in the now and so it's been this interesting journey and i'll just give a little personal context so when benjamin and i met you know as he shared we fell head over heels in love and decided to merge our lives and go all in and we did that knowing that there was a potential misalignment for us from the beginning which was related to having children so i've always wanted to keep that possibility open and he walked into the relationship really clear that he was very complete with having children and we kind of were like okay we'll figure it out you know we'll cross that bridge when we get there as we deepened our love and as our you know that our love turned into getting married and then the conversation of getting legally married began it opened up this this this portal really of um for me a lot of fears that i felt were very related to the future the potential future in which we are no longer aligned and um it started this this conversation really in this excavation of if there's only the present moment you know and and on the spiritual journey i think we we continually realize that the only thing that's actually real is the now the infinite now the ever present now how does that affect decisions that are built upon a premise of a long-term future right how do we live in this time-space reality which is uh really built on assumptions about what will happen tomorrow or next week or in 10 years or in 50 years does a you know a promise or a vow like a marriage vow actually still apply or serve when we are fully anchored in the trust that every single moment is the only thing that's real and will reveal to us what we need to know when we need to know it anyone has anything that pops for them i'm happy to kick off please take us there one word abracadabra seriously i mean that speaks to this question right what is the relevance of promises vows and commitments in a paradigm built on radical trust in the now so if we would unpack it relevance meaning what's the significance promises vows and commitments to me are spoken in a paradigm that is ultimately pure possibility so what's the relevance of it is the power of your word so through declaration and integrity the degree to which we say something that then happens says blue so eloquently pert the vision that then andre executed was the fact that he followed through on a promise so the relevance to me is definitive it's categoric and if people just understood that relationship between what we say and the life that we lead then we would be living in a different world i love that and i would love to just ask another question on top of that for people who are a man or woman of their word and they're true to their commitments and hold an integrity um in five years ten years whatever some event comes into your life in the future and then what is is not something that is in line with who you are whether that be in a relationship or anything and so you know are you no longer in integrity by going back on what you previously were integrity on or is it you know now you're in true and you're staying true to yourself and integrity by going ahead and making a decision that is against what you just well that's that's the importance of the now right so the subtle distinction is the difference between sticking to you which has got an energy of attachment versus honoring so if i honor my word then i have the ability to say to someone who's running a restaurant and i had a 6 30 p.m appointment or reservation and i can call them say i'm sorry they don't need the excuse but i'm honoring my word i'm letting you know that i'm not going to be there not like oh [ __ ] i said that i'd be there at 6 30 and even though my dog has just been run over i still have to you know it's like obviously life is going to happen so the degree to which we honor what we say not necessarily stick to it gives the fluidity of being in the the unfolding of life and i would like to add something to that is then asking who mai is yeah because before you even learn mathematics you were like well this is me then you learn mathematics and you're like well this is me now it's about asking who's the actual person and how did i arrive to this point and i'm just going to share a quick analogy three years ago i had a root canal my face was like this size and i went to the dentist and then dennis goes well you have to get a root canal and i'm like how's that possible 17 years ago i had a root canal and they said well whoever originally did your root canal didn't get it all the way to the root so at the core of it's rotten and you've got 17 years worth of infection that's now starting to show up on the surface so a lot of times when we're saying well this was my intention well your intention based off of what narrative and what point and a lot of times people are focusing on the same things off of something that they're working on in the surface where at the root of it that's the one that's actually running the show so actually getting to the root of the weed and plucking that and seeing why that story even arrived to that point will allow the full person to make the decision and not the surface person yeah yeah many layers to the programming many layers and that's you know that's where we also get the opportunity to bring a lot of forgiveness compassion and understanding that you know to garen's point like what we say we might believe is what we say as what we want but only within the context of what we don't yet know right right right so really it's a revelatory process is the way i look at life it's always revealing that we can't see the root canal that next never actually got addressed i have the pain and i know i just know that i want painkiller and that would be the expression of my current desire but not knowing why do i need the painkiller which is a deeper unresolved constraint of some form so it does get multi-layered in the way that we say we want something we say we commit so even someone going to the gym i'm going to get in great shape but there might be a deeper narrative that is based on some sense of inadequacy that i have to be in shape in order to fit into my community now they're being driven by fear so yeah it's i'm super glad that he brought that up because there's many levels yeah and to speak into that you know that was kind of exactly what what i think it was we experienced is like this this paradigm of marriage right which is like forever revealed or brought to the surface this deeper fear that i wasn't even consciously super aware of within myself of like what if one day i was in a situation where i would have to choose between honoring my word and having a child that seems like an impossible choice right like how can i how can i truly stand behind my word if i haven't processed that fear out of my system does that make sense yeah absolutely so like the process was this unraveling in this excavation of the subconscious fear once the fear was allowed to be witnessed and illuminated we got to the root of it you if you will and on the other side i just got this tattoo on the other side of death is always truth um because that was my experience of this was like we let the relationship die fully we had to go through that passageway and truly get to a place of like we don't know if we can be together in the now based off of this hypothetical future and in that moment of truth it was like well all we want to do is be together now so how can we like release the attachments to what we think it should look like and then it came back to full circle of like then why make a commitment for a lifetime for example when you don't you can't honestly say like that you know things change and people several relationships and so i guess that the question around commitment is then what's the point of being married in his marriage and obsolete you know or commitment i explored this very same thing um seeing my parents get divorced pretty young i was like why get married if you are bowing to something and for me commitment means remembering what's important and so when i got close to being married i explored defining what marriage and what the vows were for us redefining not just adopting something that somebody told me we redesigned the whole thing so what were we actually committing to which was committing to being true committing to evolve and grow together but that may look like saying letting my husband go every morning and letting him be free and without the fear and attachment there's a deeper love that is oneness and our human control mechanisms want to hold on and then when we do that deeper work we still meet but in a deeper way and i i i think marriage and relationship is one of the most powerful self-realization paths but for me i had to redefine what marriage was and what we were committing to so that it was true and aligned for something to say i honor you and i support you in always being true to yourself no matter what even if that means not being together and we've been together 11 years now and i i want to were you complete i wanted to add what you shared just that the commitment to whatever words you create for me commitment is is rooted in foundation and it's like this house this house is it can withstand any weather because of how strong the foundation is and the weaker the commitment the weaker the foundation and that's why it's easily easy to get caught up and distracted because the foundation is weak and the stronger the commitment is always a reminder of where the center is and you can build anything on top of a strong foundation and once you launch that commitment this is what we're working towards and this is the commitment now inside of that place it has the power to shape you and take you anywhere where commitment wants to take you which is out of the human context like you if you try to make sense if a fourth grader try to make sense of 10th grade it won't make sense because it's in a completely different realm but that level of commitment then is going to unlock the equal of its resistance that's been sent to test whoever individually and who you become through that process shapes you and molds you so that you can sustain at the next level and keep passing because that's how we're tested through coach i want to run 26.2 miles for the first time in my life and i've never run a mile okay cool do you just want to finish the race do you want to compete do you want to get first place do you want a world record based off of what you want this is how i'm going to train you and that's all grounded in your commitment and what you want and that's going to unleash for everyone the curriculum whatever the universal curriculum is yep it transcends persona it's the only tattoo i've ever considered transcending persona no commitment but now now it's the second category no commitment i think it's just such a powerful energy when you really understand it because it is transcendent of individual you know like i love what else is saying about how she it's almost like her commitment is an ever going process it's occurring every moment right like freedom is my favorite word so that probably came before commitment but to recognize that her husband is her husband only by commitment and declaration it's not a truth that has to be an attachment but it's an ever going proposition that has to be constantly reinvented and it's a very profound thought and i don't share it very readily but this this group can certainly hold the space for it which is anytime you meet anyone it's the first time you're meeting them and if you really understand that dynamic because the nature of life is in constant flux it's never the same but there's just such a presumption that most people have that they know someone and within that they are completely stuck to a history about somebody that doesn't give them space to show up today i mean you don't really meet yeah and that to me is what people crave which they ironically don't know which goes to garen's point about the languaging that's at a deeper level for which there's no responsibility therefore there's no judgment because you don't know but nonetheless what people are craving is that true intimacy that can't actually be found because you're looking through a lens of your history that doesn't allow you to actually be with what's occurring right now so i also think there's something to i mean just using your example because it resonates with me when you commit truly commit to some someone or group of people a family or or people you know in any way you commit i think you have to commit to knowing that things are going to change and evolve and you really can't commit to a notion necessarily knowing that human beings truly change they evolve over time and when i said to my husband after we had agreed not to have any more children that i wanted to have more children we found ourselves in the exact same spot and and to him loyalty was to an agreement and mine was loyalty to a family and a commitment of of like the home that felt like it could evolve and i think over time i mean we've been together 18 years we have three beautiful kids but i think that we had to really go through a process of figuring out how both of us could end out of that situation whole because he really didn't want to have more kids and i really did and we had to unpack why i wanted it and he didn't and i think that there's something um i think that there has to be when you have a bond like that a deep sort of a deep vow it's not really about the words it's really like a soul it's all about that you have to embrace some truth around change and be aware that like that soul will change and you're committing to the the journey that you're going to go on yes knowing that those verbal commitments around tactics effectively may really evolve it's interesting peter that you said freedom is your favorite word and then commitment is a close second to me and this has been what's been transmuting but to me those two were in contradiction to each other freedom and commitment didn't coexist i was like how do they fit together you know if i'm truly free like what the [ __ ] do i need commitment for like i could you know every moment is a new experience and like we choose each other every moment anew and this process has really like allowed me to see the power of of commitment and how everything i've created in my reality is because of the commitment i made to it energetically yeah when i claimed it but freedom is the container for it which is the beauty of like i think even yin and yan and these dow symbols like the circle contains the two right so there's gonna be like shauna saying there's gonna be the tr the trials and tribulations but it's contained within the chalice of love which to me is synonymous with freedom right so alyssa's point she loves her husband so much that if he were to say i'm out there's no resistance it doesn't mean she can't have a personal trans transformation of grief or sadness or whatever she has to learn but freedom and love to me as synonymous which is the container within which all of these transformations occur and commitment is the declaration within that that i you know while saying it's transpersonal it's like commitment is it doesn't matter what occurs like i work with a lot of athletes obviously and they're committed to something but they're going to have their own human experiences along the way the frustrations the disappointments the failures and with all the love in the world i'm like so what like you know it's like it's one of the favorite parts of my work is i will i'm a stand for your commitment not your feelings and your excuses because your commitment as to who you're becoming your excuses and your feelings are who you are and you want to stay where you are or are you and you can stay where you are there's nothing i love you as you are but if you're hiring me to help you to become who you say you're committed to becoming or whatever you want to create then you have to recognize to shauna's point [ __ ] has to change you know so you can't create the life of someone you don't yet believe yourself to be is one of my my quotes and it's like so if you want to create a life that's not in keeping with your current narrative of who you think yourself to be and it gets complicated because who you think yourself to be at the subconscious level you're oblivious to but if we can reveal that then if you want to create a particular life then it's as simple as this phone and i press a t on the keyboard a t has to show up by virtue of the way that it's currently programmed so that to me is where there's just such a beauty and understanding the love is the container the freedom but the commitment based on the narrative and the declarations is really the process of creation just when you talked about a phone it brought up like the iphone i remember iphone one now we're at like iphone 11. i'm sure they're committed to 25 more iphones however there's the one can you imagine if they didn't change the buttons they didn't change the look they didn't change the processing speed they didn't change all these things nobody would that's why i got rid of the palm pilot because palm pilot number two was exactly like one so i wasn't as a user stimulated so inside of our own bodies we don't even stimulate our own souls by keeping the same narrative so what do they do they get rid of that old camera get rid of those old buttons by way of genius they create this create that create that made it faster better stronger bomb iphone 2 and then now we're off off to iphone 11 so when you're talking about buttons it's like now going to that next level that's that's like us 2.0 like what are we holding or attached to you can't even put anything into these fists when you let go you can actually put that new feature those new buttons the way i see some of this conversation is when we commit to something whether it be a professional or a romantic relationship it will call forward anything that's looking to be transformed within us and if we have a commitment to doing that work we meet in a deeper way and freedom the way i like to context it from my teachers freedom to or freedom from so freedom from is like i'm living in bali and it's kind of escapism rather than freedom from is i have capacity to experience all of it to say yes to all of it freedom two yeah and that's real freedom which transcends that personal me which is the truth of what we are and yet our humanity is allowed to come up to be seen to be embraced and transformed in that and that's the beauty of commitment in my in my opinion because then you get to the depth of what because it's like it doesn't matter what job you take or honestly what person you choose because you're going to work out the same things regardless who do you want to play them out with right and who's your sparring partner yeah exactly who do you choose to play with you know knowing that it's a game and yet taking responsibility and doing the work to see to have an open heart and an open mind what's interesting about what you you the analogy with the the freedom and the commitment it reminded me and we talked about the book the second mountain david brooks in that book talks about how and we really resonated with this in how any and really any commitment but he was talking about relationships but um when you commit to something you actually get more freedom because you can stop looking great whether it's committing to a job or committing to a person all of a sudden it's like well i don't have to spend all that energy looking and so i'm actually more free to commit to the one thing than being confused about what the options are whether it's a career or whatever and so i hadn't thought about that that was that was interesting he looks at it differently than you do but it's it's the same i guess symbiotic relationship yeah yeah because i think to alyssa's point people misunderstand freedom that way right like again i quotes come through me it's just how i write and i say freedom without structure is chaos so commitment is the energy of structure you know so that you have the container of freedom but people who just want to be just free then there's no real sense of accountability or responsibility which in of itself isn't a judgment it's not wrong but then there's no power because you know don't necessarily have direction you know it's like the what is it the greatest secret um you know that's i don't know how many times it's been listened to it's like um nightingale does anyone listen to the strangest speaker yeah and he talks about well it's also i think in um napoleon hill's book what was that the um thinking rich thank you so both great references but in either one um and i'm paraphrasing he talks about how for sure any boat that leads to harbor without any sense of direction you just don't know where it's going to go so um you could have the best crew and the best equipment but if you don't have a sense of direction so yeah it's not this it's not this it's like this the quantum realm yeah we asked it in a simpler way like i want to eat this chocolate cake and lay in bed and watch netflix and i want to stay healthy and vibrant and live a long time and all those things yeah and so do i eat the chocolate cake or do i go on the hike right and so the and i have a commitment to the longevity and all those things and i also have a commitment to living in the moment and experiencing the richness of life yeah and to me that's you know eating chocolate cake and so how do you how do you balance those two things when they're both a commitment to you this is a very personal inquiry so maybe my brother he he has this issue with chocolate cake maybe the wording of balance maybe try using the word harmony just to being harmonious with your whole self so it's like it who's the one eating the chocolate chip cake does the chocolate cake have power over you or do you have power over the chocolate cake and when you when you say it depends if it's sarah chocolate cake has power over you and you give in to that and you just whatever has power over you becomes your maker and if it keeps doing that over and over and over you'll eventually become the substance of the chocolate cake but if you juicy and yummy i'm powerfully choosing to eat this chocolate cake and i'm powerfully choosing to go hiking from that place of innate power it has to follow what you plant with within yourself it it has it's the law it has to follow that but if you then you'll become the chocolate cake i don't know i'd love to hear from my mother's divorce she's a 40 day fast but i feel like but like self-control is different than commitment and you can be really committed to living a healthy life and still have chocolate cake but but understanding there could be really fierce commitments that i want to hear all about because that is a that is a commitment i don't personally understand but i would say that that's different than self-control and i think if you have a commitment to a healthy life then chocolate cake can live inside of that or or any varying decisions well he's not saying if you eat the chocolate cake or you don't eat it he's saying how you eat the chocolate cake is what matters what the energy is that you bring to eating it right yeah energy goes where energy flows like but i think you can be really happy and really committed to something and enjoy the [ __ ] out of that chocolate cake and not feel guilty about it and it's a it's a powerful state of mind but i wanna i really wanna hear from you on this because i think there is a there is a world of commitment true commitment that that is actually um quite well defined and i think that's that's totally different so when i think of that i kind of think about what you said when she said we created the space of this relationship but first i had to realize that every idea of what i thought marriage was that was just what i've seen we have to decide what it is for us so the same thing with that commitment to the chocolate cake or health we have to be in tune with our bodies first because for your body you may be able to eat it twice a week right and still be committed and have those results whereas i can't it's more like the other way around so the first commitment i would say is to be committed to your health the journey and to discover yourself for me the first commitment should be discovery because when we have that in mind we discover what works for us and then we can go into it empowered if not then we're just trying to see you know what works and a lot of times it's based on what we've seen or what we've experienced before right but once we get into that place where we're in tune with our body you're not going to feel guilty anymore because you know oh i only have one this week i'm good so when i approach like a client or anything like that first we have to learn what works for you so what i like to do first is to go all the way to the end of you know restriction like restricting things and then we add it back and we'll see okay you ate this how's your body respond over the next two days how does it respond with the next three days and then after that you start to be able to know exactly what works for you and then your desires will line up for that based on the results that you want with the commitment does that make sense it's the same it's what garen was saying about harmonizing right you're literally coming in harmony with your own system with your own the language that your unique body speaks because we all have different bodies with different needs and different and and that changes even throughout your lifetime right what i eat today is different than what i ate 10 years ago and like you know my body needs different things at different times but it's the listening the attunement that's and that's why i just love language right because we could even unpack what does healthy mean right because obviously it's already got a bias like when you hear the word success it's already contaminated with meaning and to me i think it's just it's it's it's redundant relative to what success really is and the same with health because we could argue to shauna's point that having the chocolate cake is the healthiest you think you could do for yourself right now because it's a form of it's a form of enjoyment like there's such gratitude it might be with a lover it might be playful it might be sensual you know but if you're sitting there thinking about your six-pack i would assert you're in a state of fear and so that would be the most but you're going to go to the gym at 5 00 a.m right so again i think there's that underlying intentionality and even in the definition of words you know health in the western world is like the absence of disease that's like saying wealth is the absence of debt like it's totally inaccurate so i think there's many components to even just being healthy and if we can really dive into okay what's the actual intention beneath whether you're having it or not which is the world of duality but what's beneath that am i committed to like looking great in my physicality or am i committed to a sense of joy and maybe sharing a beautiful moment with somebody that i love so i could commit to being home every night at six o'clock to eat dinner with my kids but if i'm on my phone but physically there then the intention that was that was rooted or that that commitment was rooted in is lost what's the point it's just a means to an end and if you don't get to the end there's no real point to it and so i think whether it's chocolate cake or or you know discussions around children or you know being home in time for certain those are they're all different examples of the same thing you make a commitment because you want a certain outcome and if you lose sight of your outcome and focus only on the commitment then you can get yourself lost along the way yeah it's interesting physiologically when we look at food through the lens of ayurveda which i feel i don't know if everyone i'm assuming everyone's familiar with ayurveda which is a healing modality similar to chinese medicine but they they have such a comprehensive definition of health which is so multifaceted and they talk about even the process of digestion whether you're in sympathetic or parasympathetic mode so if you're in a place where you feel threatened then just by virtue of our physiology of being human our digestion doesn't work and threat doesn't have to be like oh my god i'm being attacked by mosquitoes or a bear it could be just like i'm concerned that i'm going to put on weight by eating this that is sufficient to put you into a sympathetic state of mind and physiologically then you don't digest the food anyway conversely somebody could have an organic chef at their house with all the resources in the world but similarly if they're being driven by a fear-based narrative of how they occur to somebody they're not digesting it anyway so you might as well have the chocolate cake and eat it with joy because now you're relaxed and you're going to digest it and your body will process and get rid of whatever you don't need by the way that's true of your circulatory system it's true not just of digestion of any fertility like all of that your body goes into so you get to meditate and then you get to have the chocolate cake got it bingo best of both worlds [Laughter] did you bring us all together just to get permission to eat chocolate seriously we have better things to do just eat that [ __ ] cake i love hearing how everybody orients around it i really hear your bigger vision and having that pull through i think everybody's perspective is beautiful and relevant um and kind of and i completely agree with all of them and a completely opposite perspective is that i sense that there's a divine design with a desire and so actually following the desire helps unravel that human conditioning to be revealed and cleared so that it's integrated and we're we're earth school we're experiencing what we're here to experience and to help us grow and evolve so it's like yes and you know there's different perspectives with it not not honoring not um being following the what did you say something about the master like not just following our impulses and conditioned but like there's a deeper desire and actually in my experience following that opens me to where other things are to be revealed and cleared and life is so much more free on the other side of that mother nature knows what she's doing it's even in like the propagation of our species like there's an interesting phenomenon like and this is where i sent like sympathetic parasympathetic we're all hardwired in a certain way just to survive right but even like with the energy of attraction there's this sort of sympathetic poor with the dopamine and the testosterone and this like more aggressive and then there's the enjoyment which is the parasympathetic and the oxytocin and the serotonin and then apparently at the moment of orgasm it's actually more sympathetic but then the body goes straight into oxytocin to help the couple bond because obviously one of the imperatives of human humans existing is to have that family unit right to survive so and that's just part of our wiring so it's just beautiful how that that energy of desire is itself pulling us to our own transformation yeah they say the stronger the desire the deeper the wound so when you see someone you're like yes oftentimes there's more i used to be a couples therapist so somewhat of a background but that kind of supports the same that's one of the main tenants in buddhism right that's the precursor to suffering because wanting creates time too so i want to take this conversation it feels it's been more on the micro interpersonal sort of lane and if we zoom it out and we look at like the larger collective experience and the human experience and the state of the world now especially right now because we're about to go into this election and you know it's a [ __ ] show um if the universe is responsive right and and impartial essentially and it's a mirror right for us to see more of ourselves and really more of our subconscious self the part of us that is out of that is hidden from from our view what is the opportunity you know right now with everything that is coming to light or coming to the surface because that's sort of what i see when i look at the collective is i see this this purge process that's underway um what is yeah what is the opportunity and how i guess to be more specific with the question like i acknowledge that i live in a bubble of like-minded individuals who are because the universe is responsive reflecting back to me the same narrative that i believe in which is that we're in a planetary phase shift the world is awakening everything is fine on the other side of this we're in a new paradigm life is golden right that's my version of reality and everyone i speak to and everywhere i go is reflecting that back to me because i'm [ __ ] committed to that how real is that really like how much of that is just my bubble and my you know my personal bias and how much of that is is actually the reality of where we collectively are and how big is the gap between my experience of reality and where let's say the dominant you know collective consciousness is well it there's that book sapiens and sort of like a brief history but i don't remember where i read this but there was something to the to the notion that we are this you know this century is really the safest century in human history so stephen pinker yes so so it's really not logical that we would be less happy than than previous centuries right but the idea and the theory is that it's the existence of pain and wars and everything else that actually provides the the true sort of opposite of happiness and and you need the polarity you need the polarity and the absence of the polarity is what actually leads to this like sort of um you know uh unpleasant center you really need sort of two opposite sides of it and so bill gates said several years ago uh publicly you know there won't be another war that kills thousands of people it'll be a pandemic and so i really believe that what we're experiencing right now is some version of that polarity like hitting this time um in a way that you know wars would have hit times before us i'm not sure but that's what i feel like is happening in the universe like we manifested the challenge collectively in order to balance out we needed the polarity you need the polarity to find the good and to find like i think we're still living in the like the equivalent of wartime somewhere in human history and it's just today's version of it if human beings don't exercise their personal agency then they're then then they'll they'll be controlled and so there's always that tension you're gonna be controlled or you're gonna be free you're gonna adversity will shape your character or your commitments will shape your character that's how you live rather than it's easier for me to think of it in terms of like exercising my agency versus what's going to be thrust upon me and so if the idea is a prescriptive kind of what do you do as leaders in society i think we really have to claim our agency and that includes commitment otherwise some form of adversity is going to force it on you or some form of control is going to force it on you one part of the question or issue that i struggle with i just don't know is the idea that the universe is impartial and um at some level and maybe i'm idealistic but i just have to believe that good will be and i just you know look at the 20th century a lot of really serious wars uh massive destruction we've we saw what that human beings are capable of evil at a scale that has never been known at a scale we've seen evil throughout history but not at that scale and had there not been a counter view of self-determination we'd be very living in a very different world today very dystopian and so was that because the more powerful side won or was that because it was meant to happen um but things just don't happen by chance like goodness has to be summoned and and so then the question is what's your responsibility to that energy and i think it is i think the answer to your question of like everything's on fire everything seems upside down and um and i think part of it is because we live in the wealthiest time the world has ever known and there's probably complacency and lack of commitment in general to lack of respect for human dignity commitment agency all these things that build institutions and people and systems and uh so therefore um we're being smacked around because of it i think something else i mean i think you know garen you spoke to unless you spoke to john you spoken to like if we i love looking at these conversations like ezra has invited us to do the micro and the macro like you're all talking about the construct of marriage right the three of you beautifully and even you guys like and how what you knew what you'd heard what you witnessed in your own parents didn't work for you anymore right and so it was the death of one like it's your quote on your arm right it's your tattoo so it's the death of a paradigm and i feel you know first and foremost we're all clueless that's what i always default to right i love the i don't know we've had this conversation recently you know with ben and azria but you know that's always been my default is i i don't know and it's fun to have a conversation so in the spirit of conversation i feel like the micro and the macro everything that we're speaking to is so beautifully here and it's so inspiring to be with such an amazing group of humans without seeming self-righteous and pretentious but i feel we've done a lot of work to get beyond paradigms that don't work for us and i feel that we're seeing this on a macro level one that i can speak to very confidently is the healthcare system right so if we look at that and again obviously i've made it clear that i love words it's not a healthcare system and so right there we're stuck right because there's this misnomer that somebody in a lab coat has got something to do with your health now if i'm in a car accident i will be the first to say take me to hospital put me in the er i'll send flowers and cards to everybody who saved me but that's got nothing to do with health so in the the interest of being accurate with language it's a sick or a disease care system now if that were just to be spoken as an accuracy now that's that at least is accurate because a lot of people get up in arms and say [ __ ] farmer and this and well that doesn't help either that but what if we could bring the best of both which is what is it is it's just what it is it's a sick care and as i said i will you know forever be indebted to a doctor who saves my life from a car accident but let's not call it a health care system right because it's it's it's it's confusing it's inaccurate i you know i was on my way up here actually thank you because i'm thinking of doing a little video to this like imagine somebody who's so passionate about health and they got into medicine they spent hundreds of thousands of dollars took out students loans because they genuinely were really interested in helping people and they got a job in big pharma and like they're the new rookie in the and they come in to the ceo's office and it's the end of the first quarter and he's like oh my god this is amazing and the ceos what's happened he's like our drug sales are like 50 percent this first quarter they've dropped and the ceo be like what the [ __ ] are you talking about he's like but that's amazing because people are healthier he would be fired in a second right so that speaks to the fact that the illusion of pharma and healthcare currently are interested in in human wellness they're not now we could say that's malevolent that's that's evil or we can just say it's a business and they want to make money like each of us right but let's at least contextualize it that's accurate so people go oh okay this is beautiful for triage and emergency situations and acute intervention but as it relates to health it's got nothing to do with health and so for me to come full circle on why you guys are so inspirational the way you look at your marriages it's the birth of a new construct and the birth of any new construct she shana can speak to this perfectly with her children it's a very painful process but i can assume i don't want to be present but therefore this is the pain that we're seeing i feel there's this like conflict between constructs that no longer serve us because fundamentally they're based in survival and they're they're dis-ease oriented but equally the birth of something new which i think we all stand for i'm confident we'll stand for which itself is going to take education it's going to take new language and it's going to take inspiration and vibrance in the way that we actually conduct ourselves as pioneers and leaders are by example so that to me is the macro in the micro and how close is the collective consciousness let's say that the masses yeah to actually recognizing that and and and being yeah and being in active participation of designing those new constructs yeah i don't again i i default to my number one answer i don't know yeah but i would say the beauty i always joke about that like i get the most incredible people around the world paying me extraordinary amount of money and i'm like i don't know and they're like oh my god this guy's amazing i feel so free i think the beauty of you know however long we have to go through trauma it's not it's not equal to the amount of undoing that we have to do does that make sense so if i've gone through 40 years of hardship there could be sufficient insight and inspiration that actually causes my life to be transformed in a matter of days so even though i feel collectively yeah we're up [ __ ] creek and the masses aren't having this kind of beautiful dialogue and conversation nonetheless i feel like when the light is bright enough it's sufficient to trigger you know the collective so that's you know similar to anyone's personal transformation yeah something i wanted to add to the spaces uh i have these things like you can't you can't see the picture while it's in the frame and you got to get the puzzle pieces out of the box first before you can actually put them together and every single time something happens it's kind of like this thing keeps crashing up and it's like boom like if you're falling asleep somebody taps you on the shoulder and you like wake up and so universal as a universal collective i don't see it as like one instant it's a forever evolving kind of like when you're a baby you learn the abcs that turns into words sentences paragraphs books essays libraries and so this collective consciousness is gradually waking people up and i love that you use the word birth because like babies are like born through like blood and chaos and it's the most beautiful thing and there's contracting and all that i've never had i've had a spiritual baby before but i've never had a physical baby but if we look at the this planet as a mother giving birth and there's all this contracting and all this that's a little bloody yeah bloody pain chaos yeah beauty beauty love passion and it's all together in this myriad of that polarity it's goes back to that whole thing it's expecting these things to happen in the transitional phase so it's maybe not for us to know but just be in the being of knowing that you're on this path and the more that you release and the more that you let go and the more that you write and the more that all that is is being an example of what is possible and i want to share a quick story from 2003 to 2005. i i spent two and a half years in a french prison and before i went into prison for smuggling drugs before i went into prison i used to say i feel like i'm so far away from where i'm supposed to be i feel like i'm in prison inside of my body i'm so far away and i went to prison in france far away from where i'm supposed to be in prison but i see but you can't change what you're not aware of so once a month we were able to watch a movie we're watching shawshank redemption and tim robbins says mind you i'm serving a 12-year sentence tim robin says they can take everything they want them away from but they can't take away from my mind and instantly in that moment yeah i said i'm free you had an awakening no it's not so in losing my freedom i discovered my freedom and i started working on everything i would normally do normally not do out there and there reading learning fluent french stop using my right hand use my non-dominant hand operate a different part of my brain but i built my inner self up so much my beingness that it overflowed into the next space that got on all of the inmates regardless of the circumstance they tested the drugs three times 6.2 kilos of heroin when i felt free my beingness everything about me was free jones you're getting out next week oh we tested the drugs that's [ __ ] crazy 80 was fake for the time for you've already done the amount of time for the the drugs that was real you're free to go and what was giving birth was free garen so inside of this evolution wow the more the collective consciousness comes together and understands within ourselves this is who we get to be on the higher plane then this it's not a one person it's this unique body now the example of creates that next level opening for everyone else sorry the story got long-winded but i'm really passionate thank you on this one it's awesome there's an intelligence and suffering and if the micro and the macro it's so mirrored and so what we're going through in our own individual life is also what's happening on the collective which is like oh it's almost like the way i see it is that there's a we're in a place of like revealing what's not been integris on a collective everything's becoming more it's i was very i'm in a bubble and i don't know and what i'm witnessing is the the things that are needing to be revealed and seen on a collective is just kind of confronting right now and yet i have hope because individually there is that [ __ ] that turning point of enough of us that are using all of this to get more free to use all of what's been happening in life to wake us up and i feel like the or even just to learn from right even if awakening is not the intent and the more people that do that i feel like that's going to influence not just in the or just our way of being will affect each other it's contagious and it can happen in a moment like how many people here at the table feel like they've been elevating and growing right it's on the same token as above so below everything so without there's a group of people who are also getting darker getting further and further lost right so i feel like the next martin luther kings and the gandhis is not an individual person but it's a group of individuals that operate as one body as one voice so we're here right now representing that yes so what is our commitment to be that voice what is our unified message in speaking because it's getting to the point where there's people starting to be lost and trapped in their mind and they may not in this lifetime become free so every day is starting to become more and more serious like you said we are even in astrology at the places called the lifting of the veil where everything's coming forward there's a lot of people who are going to be respond to it and be feel so deceived feel so let down that they go to a very dark place so what does that come in what is our commitment even like to our families and how do we represent that kind of jump on that because it related to something you said ezra when peter 2 about i think one of the things that david brooks talks about in the book is uh relationalism yeah and so i don't know you know for the guys getting married or well or the married guys um while the ornaments of marriage might feel different i don't i don't think it they're it's fundamentally different i think it's an ancient intelligence relationalism is an ancient intelligence that just seems to be adrift and um but i feel hopeful um because you're seeing more people aware of their need or aware of their pain and you're seeing more people who are more interested in being intentional about coming together i mean i mean even just ranging i saw a business that was valued at 100 million dollars and all they do is bring people together that's it so the market's responding to this sort of like human human need and so if you see that trend um and there's the sacred the ancient institution is just relationship and that takes on different forms father-son friendship marriage whatever i think the commitment is really you know look for those relationships in in one's life to create or to nourish or both that would be the takeaway commitment i think for me from your dinner how to pour yourself into the people that you care about and i think yourself being one of those people right like coming back to that like we can only you know we can only give from a full cup right so how can we how can we nourish ourselves and i think we nourish ourselves like you know by um well ultimately looking at our own fears and moving through those um but then also surrounding ourselves with people who can meet us right in that place and and and reflect back to us our potential i think it's also like garen said beautifully the word harmony you know harmony sound and again why i keep coming back to words because what's words it's sound you know why does everyone like respond to music so i think there's so much to be said about frequency and vibration even though we could sit here and get all as a taric and poetic about it i think there's actually a principle of physics right so if you're around somebody even if you're not in the conversation of self-development or spirituality you can go i got a bad vibe from that person right there's something innate in the human experience where we can recognize a vibratory state so i think i love this question because it's like okay that's great we can all sit here and verbally masturbate and have an amazing time you know with great food and beautiful people but what could we potentially do so i think you know recognizing our vibratory state is a contribution to the collective and i just literally was just shooting something with someone i never met it's it's an interesting opportunity i've got to work with some wwe people oh sure yeah i just got contacted of all people by the wrestling world so yeah it's it's fascinating because talk about some trauma in that industry but a massive reach right so this one of their superstars who's beautiful in terms of who she is recognized that based on her history just like all of us in the way that she was raised and her dad was an icon in the sport and gave some dialogue about who he was and what it was like to live in that family with a lot of dysfunction and so she had you know this maladaptive response of now becoming someone who was always trying to fix people you know we've got our versions of perfectionism people pleasing she's always trying to fix people which has an underlying narrative if there's something wrong with somebody and she recognized in all of her relationships there was this dysfunction by virtue of the length she was looking through that led to the adaptation of them trying to always help people that left her exhausted at the end of the conversation why i'm bringing it up here to pharaoh's beautiful question is she got there was nothing wrong now that doesn't mean that it's ideal and she wasn't condoning where people were but she stopped trying to fix and i write at that moment i said this might seem like a very audacious thing to say but just because you stopped judging you just shift the course of humanity so you know like if you really get that just for her she really felt it and she said over the last few days after we spoke she's like it's just incredible how i'm so much more loving as opposed to even though it was well intended trying to fix people was nonetheless the energy of fear that was itself creating more separation so that's what i feel we can all take from here is who are we being in our personal relationships in our professional relationships are we being loving are we being compassionate such that we bring a different tune to society so yeah i want to add also to that beautifully said i mean everything you said tonight is just remarkable so thank you yeah barrel you know awesome question bro like really really um really awesome and like just like with this conversation of like language and like what's the message and i just wanna also just say it's like all of us has an opportunity just to be a voice and i think that's one of the most important things is like you know as a storyteller as a lot of storytellers we that i think is the most one of the most powerful modalities that is ancient intelligence that has been given to us all since the beginning of humanity to use that as a tool to continue to have these conversations not just at this table but out you being platforms now and i think that's one of the most important things that we can continue to do is and something that i've been working on personally is just like having the courage the strength to like in the midst of the fire and everything in the world like to say and go out there and to speak my truth even when it's gonna offend others even when people are gonna the people that are asleep are gonna judge me like what are you talking about and all this woo and all these things but like learn how to relate and just and speak our truth and and leverage our voice and continue to share our own personal journey you know in in a vulnerable way and and and just our truth and i think that's that's what we all can just continue to do and i think the world needs that the world needs role models the world needs leaders right now so we need to just be the example and know that we are all a platform and it doesn't necessarily all mean that it is not just the platforms that exist through technology but it is also these conversations and in how we're how we're creating that that vibe and energy wherever we are you know whether it's the stranger or the person that's in the street that's homeless whether it's when you go into the store like that is i think what we all can do to continue to be the ones that are altering humanity and at the same time i just want to say it is in the surrendering still in that there is a higher power that knows what is like they're doing coming full circle to that and what you were saying and you know i mentioned this i picked up this paragraph about like the universe is not malevolent or benevolent it's it's responsive i don't actually believe that truly i believe that it is benevolent i believe that there is a source there is a consciousness that is highly intelligent and highly loving and deeply cares about the the most beautiful version of reality to express itself and is in support of that yeah when we had the silent disco um here the second man um if you weren't here you missed out it was amazing so silent disco you can have multiple channels multiple channels represent different colors i got to watch and observe the space as when somebody was in an irresistible frequency and they were on channel red and the rest of the group were on channel blue for that person specifically you to walk into the group being [Laughter] level and there was also epic music playing on channel red and you were in an irresistible frequency and i was the dj for channel red to watch you walk into the space and then infuse that frequency all of a sudden everybody around you turns red yeah yeah amazing it's the irresistible frequency that will make the revolution's revolution move tony k bombara from the great panthers said it is the artist's responsibility to make the revolution irresistible and your specific piece why you speak to the masses logan is because you touch people's heart through the art of play one of the greatest dis-eases on this planet is that we have become over serious and you have an ability and a natural knack to activate serotonin levels within individuals that watch your content so the piece that i feel is revolutionary is to actually melt over seriousness tap back into our heart creating irresistible frequency and cast a really wide net while infusing nuggets of wisdom that up level individuals in the sense of self-empowerment now we're looking at the revolution and i believe that the people that around this table are all puzzles to the revolution because we've got out of our weight enough to allow spirit to flow through us so our responsibility is to fine tune our instrument as much as possible and let the symphony be something that is benevolent i just want to speak my heart real quick because i just feel so much love for all of you and i feel in so much gratitude for this conversation in this moment and i just feel this web of like deep reverence and thank you and i am a stand and i'm here to support all of you in whatever way i can and i'm listening to the red and i'm like it was good and i heard this one quote it's like save the world or savor the world and i feel like you know there's i love paradox there's truth to all of it and yet i want to i want to be on red and i want to inspire and make it contagious for others to tune in every morning i wake up torn between the desire to save the world or to savor it i love that we're back to the logan if i may ask a question having such a massive connection with a lot of the younger generation what do you see as one of the most common obstacles that you see with the younger generation that they come to you for or or engage with your content or hit you up for some kind of guidance what do you see that's a common thread or mindset what is what is the the my demographics most common problem with uh in general or yeah i don't know do you see do you see any yeah just common pain pain pain points that come up i'll tell you my knee jerk reaction was ignorance ignorance in what way which is ironic because in the age of information which has now become like the age of misinformation in a way you would expect people to be more aware of the world around them why i say it's a problem because a lot of people don't know it it's the epitome of ignorance not knowing the things you're saying affect people or um even like even like take it with a grain of salt like ignorance ignorance can be uh being complacent in your bubble because it's all you know like that's a problem to me i i i try to wake up my viewers and say hey because i was i was that kid hey there's a there's a bigger world out there like we've all been blessed with this lively look around right now this is this is [ __ ] insane part of my language this is this is a beautiful house a beautiful dinner with beautiful people like and we all or i heard you all mentioned the bubble a couple times and it's it's good to be aware of that but there is a world where for many it does seem bleak just because it's all they know and um not only is it is it a is it a problem because it can affect people but a lot again just the um the inherent nature of ignorance is unknowing and so yeah i think i think with a lot of the stuff i do um i like to i like to wake people up uh by leading by example because i like to think i've i've had many wake-ups in my life many um many pivotal moments many transitional phases and you're right like you you use the word peaks and troughs like i say this all the time like that's that's life like that's life like really just the ups and downs and hopefully from your guys angle while you're doing the ups and downs you're still have an overarching path of of going up right but but i'd i'd i'd be worried about the the person who has the meter meteoric rise or or uh sudden exponential growth like that's weird that strikes me as unhealthy i i um personally i look i look forward to um to coming up short or or failing or making a mistake hopefully not on a catastrophic level but it's that's where i grow you know what i'm saying and and again with just like the stuff i do i i try to preach that to a kid in high school who failed the test and got grounded and thinks his life's over because his parents told him that schooling is the most important thing in his life when in reality like he might not be built for school like one of my um one of my colleagues one of my peers not colleagues one of my peers um his name is mr beast on the internet uh and he is he is the most brilliant young man i've ever had the pleasure of talking to in my life he's been on my podcast we we do uh bi-monthly conversations we're just like riffing on the phone for hours at a time i'm stunned how how brilliant this kid is he would mark my words he will be youtube's first billionaire and also he told me he wants to die with zero dollars in his name and he means that like like truthfully means that he he has no desire to to keep any money he wants to give it all back to charity and good causes and like the kids the kid is like a force to be reckoned with he he's an anomaly to the core but in school all f's like and we've heard the story a thousand times but i've never seen it to that degree where in school like this he wasn't activated in that way and suddenly found this machine called youtube and now he's going to be able to donate a billion plus dollars eventually and even like he had a conversation with me about running for president because he was just he's passionate and that's what sparks him so um yeah i think i think if we can if we can just wake people up and keep what are you preaching that message what are you doing what do you find that they're ignorant about in most cases uh people i don't think people know that like words affect people we're all adults right like i call peter [ __ ] he's like alright [ __ ] like you know you know you're not an [ __ ] peter but but well you know you can't i'm still on the bench kids go online and they say mean things to other people and and there's just it's just like you know zooming out and going macro for a second it's just like weird state of toxicity that america especially is sitting in right now and um i i think i think and i've been kind of trying to lead my life with these virtues i think more people just need to lead with love and understanding like like like really love and understand this is [ __ ] up he's got a big ass so i'm in training i need [Laughter] yeah i i don't i don't think uh i don't think people care enough about thy neighbor right now we're so divisive how do we get here how can we bring us back to a spot like again going back to the state of uh the country we live in like how the [ __ ] are we the united states of america yeah what happened and when and why it's actually it's actually i i think this is a good uh and i don't want to get political but i think this is a good group of people to like maybe pose this question if someone has an answer to is uh how how how we how one can affect change in this upcoming election like whether it's messaging whether it's narrative whether it's um you know pushing that dialogue of love and understanding and encouraging people to go vote and and because i i like i love these conversations but at the end of the day i want to leave here with something that i can activate on you know saying you asked a question i could throw out an answer sure um i would encourage well one since especially because you're passionate about it and i think it's something the country needs or everybody needs every country um to preach uh just be nice to each other yeah but i think it's one thing in a in a self-governing society to tell people to go vote which i think is really important to do i think i would also encourage people to go learn about somebody's views that they disagree with that would be really really helpful um that's hard we we can be we all of us are probably i would assume it's very probably pretty enthusiastic about doing it well it's actually i mean it's hard it's it seems like it's hard today but it hasn't been hard in the past yeah it's not hard for human beings um it just feels hard in this environment but i think you're a perfect example to it again like if we i loved to make these sort of comparisons micro macro so without knowing the details you kind of shared like you you had a bit of a tough upbringing with your dad right so i'll segue around to it but i was arguing like you know people are shutting down sports arenas because of a virus and again because i'm in that world with a lot of athletes i'm like that's funny why didn't they shut it down because they're selling nachos and hot dogs and coca-cola and they're like what what the [ __ ] are you talking about that's not that's not about that and the argument is that's not contagious i'm like are you kidding me it is the most contagious thing because when that kid is standing next to his dad who's ordering like a big gulp and nachos and a hot dog he that is the most contagious form because we learn through mimicry right we follow suit so now our segway around which is like look at who you've become without being in your own personal home but obviously represent like a dad who wants to be a loving dad as a response we could say really a reaction but now a response right to begin with it was probably maladaptive you didn't want that and then you became adaptive and chose to be a loving dad so what if we could recognize that actually the things that are being mimicked right now are these leaders and again i can't even vote so i'm a resident so it doesn't really matter but what do they represent the abusive father you know the traumatized masculine and so what i hope is that collectively we become a michael right now it might take a few decades meaning that we learn well wait a minute i don't really give a [ __ ] about blue red republic that these are labels similar to healthcare that to me are inaccurate they're a disservice because it's choose this or choose that and they're both dog [ __ ] excuse my french but it's like okay what if that can give birth to a new system like like health optimization most of us are into like real whether it's biohacking or like becoming the best version of ourselves it's the antithesis of trying to manage symptoms so likewise politics to me is a dysfunctional paradigm but it could be the catalyst to whether it be what's this guy called the beast is that his name mr b sorry no offense mr beast that that could be somebody who sees the opportunity to actually become you as it represents society which is like screw the abusive mindset but what if i could as a response become like the loving kind generous philanthropic human so it might take a minute but that's that's hopefully what i'll give birth to i think they to add i think political leadership is more so we're not mimicking them they mimic us um i mean it's a representative government so that's right um and so that's why i think if you have a big following and it's how do you use it just tell people either be super nice and if you want to be super opinionated also then make sure you know the other points of view really well it's actually i mean it's super it's difficult but it's simple i also think you have to have the end in mind i mean you started by saying how are we the united states and if you really want to be united you have to be able to meet in the middle and so you know i'm the furthest thing from a trump supporter you might ever find but but i deeply want to understand trump supporters and i want to understand it like in a biological way because and not with judgment but with like because i believe that a lot of this country feels really left behind and i believe that this like where we sit is a product of our design and so to like to truly unite everyone and to have that be your goal you have to like you have to embrace what actually is true and why people sit where they sit in their in their thinking and so i don't think about it as like getting you know it's yes it's important to get people to vote but like you know i think about it more as like really trying to genuinely understand the human condition and why we are where we are and trying to like frankly take be accountable for it that's so hard to do something that's so hard yeah something i'm gonna add to the conversation that that kind of tailors this whole um circular conversation um you can't be what you can't see when somebody has so much poured into like say the influence of you seeing you say certain things and be it at the same time and be an example that's gonna pop a lot of other people be like you know what i'm gonna do that like that it's like mirroring success and around this conversation to go back to your original question it's like how do you like influence this this nation well someone someone was like are you a democrat i was like no they were like you're a republican i said no they said what do you ask like i'm garen stefan jones and there's like well how can you like pick us up i'm like i picked me first so i think the question is who's the one actually doing the voting and we get to the point where an individual says you know what before i vote for anyone i'm actually the president of the united states of me and understanding the power of me and being powerful inside of that now it's not this person saying i'm picking this person because of this fear of this thing and i don't like this person and it's all this going on this side this side this side this side and it like our world is like missing a pulse because a lot of people aren't choosing themselves as from a love perspective yeah and so when the choice is you know what the most powerful person is bringing themselves and i'm choosing from the state of power instead of choosing from fear or lack or insecurity i think that just the influence of creating a space where people are understanding that that you actually have the power they just need to see what that looks like to choose yourself before choosing anyone else then that means you don't give anyone else outside of you power to determine your life when you're responsible for your own energy and for your own freedom and for your own so i think that is what will influence when us as leaders rise and be the example for other people to choose themselves before choosing anything else nice what makes um how come what about it seems difficult he said it's really hard to try to understand what makes you say that about what about what like to understand somebody else's point of view if the if the takeaway is encourage people to be nice oh and don't be ignorant learn different points of view there's a level of maturity that that's needed that's what you mean yeah yeah yeah that's it like you you know grown-ass adults can't do that yeah my opinion seriously my opinions might go to middle america good luck trying to turn a republican i would say that actually even before that there has to be the desire to want to understand someone else's perspective that is so hard to do yeah not for us but like you're saying you want to understand trump supporters well but i have to acknowledge that like my logic is like not somebody else like meaning i have to completely like leave my own mind and body to try to find some semblance of what makes that person tick and so you ask the question what what can you do what can you walk away with and i think that really people need to be seeking curiosity and even ground seeking united like a united force it should be the pursuit not picking a side not deciding that they're going to go and vote and and you know further legitimize their own current point of view but actually get people to to be actively curious about every perspective and that's what leads to enlightenment and ultimately i think when you get more enlightened you end up on the right side of history but i think allowing for the ignorance is pro or or propagating or sort of um giving up on the fact that the ignorance is permanent is the part of the problem i think that we like as thought leaders and people with influence we need to keep um encouraging like our constituents our our partners our people who whoever is in our right like in our midst like to continue to be curious and seek to understand somebody else's point of view because that actually leads to greater compassion greater um mutual understanding and progress see i'm impatient social media gratification well you just described i'm on board that's an evolution what you said is like hopefully what's going on now can be the impetus for some sort of realization like oh one day down the line we can go oh yeah that's what we don't want to be bingo exactly you know maybe we need maybe we need this yeah yeah which is disease right like it's the absence of ease so if it is only by reaction to something that we don't want oftentimes we find what actually works so similar to you weren't here but talking about marriages like death do us part like that didn't work for again right like so it's like okay similarly to me it's almost like the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results currently right you're one or the other choose but wait i have values on both sides so to michael's point like you know if we start to look at values versus like a a system or a color like that's it's being forced into one of two channels but i feel like in terms of evolution i mean look at relationships which is we've talked about a lot like life is relationship so now we've got like you know gay marriages and all of the different mixes of how people can actually find some semblance of love in what is not traditionally known as a male female form well what if we could look at politics instead of like you're one or the other what if you're just a human being who's inspirational who's loving who's kind who's got great values and at some level embodies both like what would that look like you know and that to me is the death of one paradigm and the birth of a new is that gonna happen overnight no just like the health care system isn't going to roll over because peter crone says it's a sick care system they'll be like let's get rid of that guy because we make billions of dollars we want people to be sick that's how we actually sell drugs it's not going to just go away but hopefully by virtue of these kind of conversations people because oh yeah wait a minute that kind of makes sense i'd much rather a human being who's kind who's loving you know with regards to policy i'm less interested you know with these people bickering at each other just from one side to the next i think people are just fed up with the system itself and it gives birth like michael said it gives birth to that type of person just by virtue of the way the system is created somebody who's on a hypertension medication a beta blocker or an ice inhibitor like you know as long as they're taking the medication it seems like they're not sick but as soon as they come off it they're still sick nothing actually got resolved so again it's just to me it seems so crystal clear that the systems themselves are the issue versus the person or whatever it's and the same in education like i don't know how many friends of mine whether they be literally mums that i know or mums of mum like who are just up in arms and so desperate because of the way that their children are being forced into the boxes there too mr beast the perfect example like different ways that we can learn you can speak to this probably better than anyone yeah it's just so difficult so i think so many of these systems are crumbling that is the death and on the other side of death by virtue of israel's forearm we find truth and freedom and new possibility so let's keep dying let me ask you a question though because what i think you're saying is this this i feel you post a question right and i feel like we're conscious beings giving conscious answers to go take to the unconscious but what he's really asking is all right how do we simplify that so i could have a simple solution to offer to these people is that what you're really saying it's simplified i think what i would say is is is being an example and so being an example would be actually himself learning the other side's position and sharing it and sharing both of those and and showing that he cares instead of saying this is what you need to do doing it i think i think would be when you go in assuming that both sides are true that both sides are right then you actually come out of it enlightened a bit yourself and you're and then you ask that of everyone else who's watching you and i think look there's a reason why you know negotiation exists like this is these are things that that humanity has had to go through over you know many millennia like you go and two sides disagree and somebody has to come in and arbitrate and find some harmony and it's never usually one way or the other in fact the pendulum often swings you know but harmony is found in the middle typically and so i think that when you have a really strong voice you really have to like like be that voice of kind of calm mediation uh before i don't know i mean this has been my experience anyway that like the true philosophers and true leaders somehow find a way through the middle and they're able to capture everybody's heart in through some sort of shared humanity listening is the skill there's the external change right which is like the crumbling of the system and the birthing of the new system and then there's the internal change too of like if we go back to the universe is responsive or reflective of your internal state our sister brianna often uses this this term of like ending the war with self like if we're at war with ourselves we will create a projection externally in our in our reality of a war that is reflecting back to us that which is happening within to bring us aware to what is happening within so that we have the opportunity to shift that so it's like from the outside in and from the inside out is really where the change gets to happen so yes it's like taking the external action of maybe leading by example and showing you're following uh your community your family whoever like okay i'm gonna be the one to listen to the opposing viewpoint and and be receptive even if it's hard even if i have triggers around it but then also what is the internal work that i'm doing to end the war with myself where am i at war with myself really getting honest about that and i think being transparent about that is like the next level of leadership yeah you know the gandhi story like about the mom who was struggling with a daughter who was eating too much sugar which speaks to this so again i'm i'm making it up but um i the the version i heard is this mother was really struggling with her daughter who was eating too much sugar and this is often the case shawn and speak to this but like the daughter wouldn't listen to the mother and this particular folk tale is set in india and so there was a lot of reverence for the leader of gandhi and so the mother took the daughter to sit with gandhi and asked him would you in talk to my daughter about like the you know the detrimental effects of eating too much sugar and hopefully she'll listen to you and he said sure he said come back in a week and so the mum was a little confused but it's gandhi so you do what he says and they came back in a week and then sure enough he got down on one knee he was eye level with the daughter he put his hands around her and he said your mother loves you dearly i love you and as part of that we want to make sure that you take good care of your body and he gave this beautiful dialogue and said you know we'd love you to stop eating sugar so they they embraced and the mother was sort of teary-eyed and said thank you so much and just before she left she said to gandhi i'm just curious why did you ask me to come back in a week he said well because last week i was eating sugar oh i love that that is awesome that is awesome yeah so good to the point you know of leadership like it really isn't sort of emblematic of like society as a whole what we're looking at is people who are still eating sugar like a great story you can't ask someone to do something you're not willing to if i could and that takes a lot to get a leader in that position but i feel that we represent that and that's why i said mimicking is so important you know because we represent and logan to your question which i think is beautiful and it shows how much you're committed to your your audience is that you lead by example you know and and even with vulnerability it doesn't mean you have to be perfect we talked about this even when i came on the podcast right we talked about failure and embracing that and i said that that was one part that you hadn't actually embraced as a possibility you know you changed my life with that by the way through everything i do i'm like huh wait can you repeat that real quick so working with anyone who's around performance like you know working with a lot of athletes and one of the things that most people struggle with the winners are okay at losing and jack nicklaus is the greatest goal for all time he said one of the most important parts of winning is being okay losing and when i had the privilege through andre coming on logan's podcast i said you know one of the things that i recognize is that everything in his camp was all about champ and winner and so there was the denial of that as a possibility and he wasn't okay with it and by virtue of the fact that he wasn't okay with it that's what happened right so fear will break your heart is the term that i use so ultimately you had to fulfill on the very thing that you weren't actually accepting you hadn't integrated similar to your point of like you are not listening to what you don't want to hear and so there's resistance so ultimately you know the integration of everything all of our folklores all of our imperfections is a form of love right versus trying to present this sort of ambassador of who we think we're supposed to be all the time so i'm glad that that had an impact but that's who i think you can be for people is that there's a there's a there's a love there's a compassion there's a there's a beauty in allowing all of the imperfections and i would assert that's actually what love is right you know because it's easy to love all the good parts it may not even be it might be too difficult to your point um to encourage people to understand a different point of view but it should not be difficult to encourage people to be nice i'm assuming most many people here have heard of landmark or been through it right so there's i did i don't know 20 something years ago but i can remember one exercise that was so powerful where they they had a mug it's just a regular coffee mug and they brought two people up onto the stage and the form leader held the mug such that the handle was pointing to one person and away from the other person so they're facing each other and the mug is between them and they and the leader said to this person on the right describe the mug what do you see in it's like i know it's sort of like white and it sort of looks like a rectangle from this angle and you know and it's sort of like ceramic or something then it said to the other person describe it and he said yeah it's similar but it's got like it's got a handle yeah another guy you know and it was a beautiful exercise this guy that doesn't [ __ ] have a handle and i can see the handle right so the point is it was just based on perspective so i think why what you're saying is beautiful is that you're willing it's not easy to understand perspective and i think that's the beauty of relationships again which is love and that we understand what someone else is saying doesn't mean that we have to agree but at least then and i think it's the greatest gift you can give every human and i would assert it's my job is i listen to people come in with all sorts of stories about why their life sucks and their husband's a douche and whatever it is and i just listen it and i know that it's not true but i honor it as a reality that's right and that's a subtle difference because where we get screwed is that we think that our reality is the truth and you don't take it personally that's exactly right like oh our reality isn't the truth none of it many other people's reality is just you know it's just as true to them yeah and then when we come in asserting we're right we're we're we're stuck we're blocked there's no getting past it yeah so if you can model like richer understanding and you model curiosity then it that is contagious yeah it's honoring everyone's perspective and i don't think that's a greater gift you can give another human is to at least honor their reality doesn't mean i mean i hear some crazy realities i don't condone it i certainly don't believe it but at least on it that's where they're at and if i had their dna i was raised by their parents i had all of the trials and tribulations of failures and successes they had then i now suddenly understand their reality makes sense to them so then what's it's totally audacious of me and futile to judge somebody else's reality that's right i think if we really listen we get to the heart of why they are like they are i think that was one of the gifts of being a psychotherapist any anybody that i would judge if i could really hear their story just drop into compassion because you have a deeper understanding now the new paradigm of leadership is through listening it's the highest frequency of expression of leadership that's why you're so powerful because you listen between [Music] you

Channel: André Duqum

Views: 37,952

Keywords: Spiritual, Mastermind, Roundtable, Roundtable discussion, Leaders, Leadership, Soul, Commitment, Growth, Mindset, Harmony

Id: 91TbUgHXQNo

Length: 96min 56sec (5816 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 12 2021