Peter Crone - Unlocking FREEDOM through RE-FRAMING your thoughts and beliefs

name is Peter Crone commonly known as the mine architect and I help people to transcend the Deep constraints of the subconscious and discover a world of freedom welcome to the fitness and lifestyle podcast I'm your host Danny Kennedy and I'm here to help you become the very best version of yourself Peter welcome to the fitness and lifestyle podcast mate it is an absolute pleasure to be sitting and having a conversation with you um first you just wanted to express my gratitude for your time and and for you sharing your wisdom and knowledge with the audience which I'm sure everyone is going to get a hell of a lot out of it so thanks for joining us you're welcome good to be here made the three words I don't know um they seem to be a very pivotal moment for you in your life are you able to explain to the the listeners of the show as to why those three words um gave you this sense of freedom and kind of expose you to the the power of energetics and and what was truly possible for you in terms of of having that feeling of freedom sure um they occur to me at a time in my life where I've gone through a breakup with somebody and as is the nature of the survival part of us my mind was trying to figure out basically if I was going to be okay moving forward was I going to see this girl again would I have love like that again and there was this sort of incessant talk track which tends to be the inherent nature of the monkey mind that people have where we're fundamentally just worried about our own existence and uh those three letters three words came to me because I realized that the actual truth of the answer to all of those questions was that I don't know I don't know in this case if I would see this girl again I didn't know if she was with somebody else already I didn't know um if I would find love like that again and so all of the questions that were the Genesis of my own suffering um suddenly became moot you know I realized well um the actual truth to the answer of the questions that were keeping me up at night figuratively and literally was simply the nature of life itself which is uncertainty and for the first time in my life um subjectively once I saw that I realized that I've never known but because as a human being our brain is designed to predict and protect I was always trying to work it out right what people might call control issues or this incessant need to know what's going to happen which is really a way of trying to Garner a sense of security and so once I saw that um that that's just the nature of life I couldn't deny the truth of my own Revelation and so there was just this immense amount of Liberation that happened where I didn't need to know and it didn't matter if I tried I just still didn't and so the truth um in that stage of my life was uh true emancipation of the part of me that was trying to survive yeah I love that and you know I've heard you often refer to that kind of story within podcast interviews and whatnot around how post that realization you had this energetic kind of freedom I guess the word would be but also kind of you opened yourself up to actually allow yourself to attract these things into your life that you were you know that you wanted but beforehand you were kind of you had this guard up or you weren't energetically available for these things to be received like someone that's listening or watching at the moment like how does that kind of play out in day-to-day life so for someone who has had this narrative or a story that's been conditioned within them since maybe they're a child or a traumatic event that has happened to them which has then led to them you know basing their whole life off a bunch of actions or or mechanisms to protect themselves are you able to explain a little to help the listeners understand as to how they're not energetic energetically allowing themselves to attract the things that they say they want yeah sure I mean that part of them that may be preoccupied trying to survive trying to figure it out not necessarily available to both the potential of themselves internally but also the abundance of Life externally it's really the identity how we perceive ourselves like what we might call our personality which gives rise to this personal reality that we call our life the main issue with that is that the foundation of the Identity or what I just call the ego is based in limitation right so some of them in the buckets of inadequacy some sense of insecurity some sense of scarcity and so the idea of who people think they are is by Design limited and so it acts as this invisible barrier to both internal potential but external um performance right so and performance is a broad word but it could mean your ability to perform and work in skill in sports in relationships whatever it might be so that aspect of a human being by default by Design is constrained and so that's what I'm helping people to transcend is to discover this world of complete freedom on the other side of this identity that we become misidentified with most people think about this mitsu and all of their thoughts and beliefs and there's nothing inherently wrong with that it's just a very limited and small way of understanding ourselves versus the bigger self capital S which we could use the term Spirit or Soul or Consciousness to point to which is that you're a boundless Timeless being but we collapse that with this idea of ourselves based on how we raise the way we've been conditioned uh the trials and tribulations we've gone through the hurts and disappointments we've experienced that accumulate to create this person that we think we are and then that ironically becomes a very obstacle that we're looking to try and overcome but nobody wants to get rid of themselves right so that's why it's uh sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy that self-sabotage of people you know often talk about in different Arenas of their lives is an extension of the fact that who they are for themselves is limited and so even on the precipice of great success a better job a wonderful relationship whatever it is that we might crave the sabotage is really that identity that its main preoccupation is to be right about its own limitation right I guess what comes with that particularly when people start to I guess identify these these blocks or their the conditioning that's causing them to behave in certain ways self sabotage and whatnot also requires a level of strength or in particular responsibility in terms of taking responsibility for their own action to things that are within their control and the choices that they have made which is quite which is difficult at times and you know I've heard you refer to it once as you know in order to grow and you know as a personal trainer myself and fitness coach I can relate to this that in order to grow you need to lift heavy [ __ ] yeah so the second part of that once that identification has happened is then being able to sit with that discomfort and and go through the those tough times and know that coming out on the other side that there is growth there like is that something you see quite often people coming to the realization that there are things that are blocking them but then not being able to sit with that discomfort to come out on the other side of it yeah for sure because I think one of the biggest obstacles is not just the limitations themselves which can be incredibly suffocating but the fact that the design of the ego is that it wants to be right about its own perspective right you look at any relationships whether it be intimate romantic Family International between religions the predominant undercurrent of most people's upset or disagreements is always based in the fact that somebody wants to be right and if you have two people who want to be right that means that you're both by extension wanting to make the other person wrong and so now you're in this argument or disagreement this is when people fight um emotionally certainly so really that's one of the biggest challenges is that the foundation of the identity which is based in as I said inadequacy and securities even though that's what we're here to transcend and to mitigate to find Freedom it's it's nature is to want to protect itself when people get into arguments if you were to judge somebody most people's reaction is going to be screw you or no I'm not or I'm going to do whatever I want right so it's not there's no listening it's just a reaction so the biggest struggle is yes the constraints themselves for sure are one aspect of the obstacle but the other more Insidious and slippery part of that is that who we identify ourselves with is constantly wanting to sustain itself by being self-righteous so that that's where a lot of people for sure is that they can see that maybe for years they felt they're not enough and that's obviously wonderful to notice and have awareness around and it can certainly breed a little bit of freedom but if you don't get beyond that part of you that feels it's not enough wanting to find evidence that it's not enough right someone gets fired or their girlfriend boyfriend breaks up with them it's like oh see I told you I'm not enough so there's always the opportunity for the ego to find whatever ammunition it needs to justify its own existence and that really is the biggest I feel challenge for somebody who wants to transcend their ego is to kind of almost notice that that's the pattern and make space for it you don't have to fight it a lot of people I'll get rid of the ego and that that equally is to me in a an extension of the ego uh really the ego wants to be held like a child that feels inadequate so yeah it's you know my work isn't for the faint of heart but it's the most rewarding aspect of Being Human and I would so while we're all here which is to discover true in a freedom and peace I love that and I feel like so many people and and you know feel free to reframe this if I'm not saying it correctly but so many people give their power to other people to other circumstances every single day when and when you look at it with some perspective it's actually [ __ ] insane when you think about driving and traffic getting cut off by someone who you've probably never met before and you don't know their circumstances but that one thing triggers uh completely [ __ ] day full of negativity and one thing leads to the other and you manifest more [ __ ] yeah like what are some simple things that that people can start to work on in order to I guess is it to drop the ego and to just become more more present or is it what are some things that people can do in order to get out of that pattern I think the first thing is awareness right to notice where those triggers happen when you get upset at a co-work or a boss or spouse a family member a sibling as you said a stranger in traffic it's really the opportunity for somebody to see where they're saying orbit unconsciously are not okay with what just happened right so that is that victim mindset but when people really look at it it starts to at least invite a little bit of inquiry as to well wait a minute is that true that like my life is in danger or I'm threatened because someone cut me off or my wife said da da da no you start to realize that the insanity of the fact that people are so easily upset they're basically in reaction to circumstances what it looks like but what it's actually revealing at a deeper level is they're in reaction to their own perspective of how they think life should be so that's the fundamental lie is that the audacity of the ego is you know I know how people should act or I know how life should unfold and when you really look at it that way and understand that that is the precursor to upset you're you can't help but laugh at just the nonsensical nature that we think we know how everybody in the universe should be behaving right it's it's sort of preposterous when you really look at it it's like well who the hell gave you the keys to the universe I didn't get the memo that you're in charge of how everybody should behave right so yeah when you just look at it that way it gets some reprieve and people can kind of you know chuckle at their own Insanity that they're upset at what a co-worker did or someone in traffic or whatever it's like really like okay like you're you're in charge of everybody's like choices it's it's it's it's nonsensical so then you start to at least find some freedom and realize oh okay what's what is it in me at a deeper level that is being actually triggered right somebody cutting you off in traffic is not the cause of somebody's frustration that's just what happened right the cause of what creates frustration anger a reaction flicking the bird to somebody is that you already have a degree of unrest hostility dissatisfaction unhappiness within you and that was sort of just the quote-unquote straw that broke the camel's back to help release it so if anything that person did you a favor because you're not carrying some of that suppressed emotion it gets expressed a little bit um and that's that's real where the gold is to have that inquiry as to what am I saying about this incident that caused me to have a reaction at a deeper level and if I can discover that then you know I have the access to finding some freedom and peace of mind where I'm no longer at the effect of what happens around me yeah so that frustration and the the anger that comes out is almost like the symptom of of the root cause correct yeah I mean because someone cuts you off in traffic maybe the choice in terms of responsibility is you're running late for a meeting and you're feeling stressed and you interpret that event as potentially adding to the stress of you being late versus let's say you go to the airport and someone's taking forever to get through TSA or to check in but if you're there two hours early versus 45 minutes before your flight you have a different feeling about this illusion of time right that's what's creating people's stress so it always comes back to ourselves and where can we own and be accountable for our own reactions now most people don't want to have that it's much easier to point a finger and blame right but what people don't understand is in that interaction of blame or Judgment of another one another human another one's interact behaviors you're actually saying I'm powerless you're you're unconsciously granting somebody the illusion of they have some say in your emotional state right if you really break it down then then you really go whoa I'm handing my power out to everybody like they control how I feel yeah which is another way for people to go well that's kind of dumb first of all it's not actually what's happening even though that's the illusion that people think is happening that's not the truth nobody upset you can say I'm really angry concerned so no you're really angry because you're choosing you are choosing your bit at a subconscious level to generate an experience an emotional reaction to what someone did they didn't make you angry like you know they don't have the puppet streams to your emotional well-being so when you see that it's like oh well that kind of makes a lot of sense so then maybe you start to get this glimmer of power in terms of your own emotional well-being and that's for most people is you know a that's a nice feeling of empowerment and responsibility otherwise I'm just bouncing around life like a ping ball um pinball you know where somebody says something something happens I'm upset I'm happy I'm angry I'm whatever it's like it's exhausting yeah [ __ ] Earth the the time illusion that's something that I've really enjoyed hearing you talk about or more so again correct me if I'm wrong but the psychological time illusion so you know you're spending a lot of time psychologically in the past which is then causing reactions or spending time yeah thinking of future events which haven't even happened yet which is also causing stress or depression in terms of the the past situations and whatnot like yeah you're able to go into a little bit of detail on that in terms of what you mean by that sure um you know it's part of The Human Experience where it's you know like even Einstein said you know past present and future persistent Illusions right so there's no actual thing as a past and there's no actual thing called a future what we have is a Perpetual state of presence and then on top of that we in language have the narratives that are past based or future based but it's all occurring now so I could in my mind as I'm talking to you my mind could drift into oh [ __ ] I've got to do something by tomorrow and that would first of all disengage me from the moment so now I'm not fully present which is what most people do entirely through their life in their relationships and their performance this is something I help athletes understand if they're trying to perform the best and only place they can do that is being fully present where they are yeah but the minds because especially the ego is based in psychological time it has a history and it has a perceived future but all of that only exists in linguistics so when you understand that your future occurs now and your hot your past occurs now it's quite for most people it's actually quite shocking because they really think you know the things they want are in the future and the things that they regret are in their past no they're with them right now on both sides of the spectrum so it's it's a little bit of a mind [ __ ] but it's a very powerful thing to understand that everything you're experiencing has to occur in present time it's just to what degree are you engaged with your senses with your current reality or are you engaged with and giving attention to your thoughts and images of your mind which are based in illusion of time when we're in our minds people can call it daydreaming or fantasizing or imagining and at times that's appropriate right if somebody is walking into a new building where they're going to start a business an office or it's a new home where they're going to envisage how they're going to lay it out with Furniture you know we use the power of imagination and creativity to envisage something we're stepping into but most people use that faculty of the Mind as a means of worrying about a future which is imagined and then in present time trying to avoid the future that they just imagined you know you just started seeing I'm absolutely futile that is right it's one brain creates a future of worst case scenario and then the one brain that imagined that future that's an illusion is now trying to think of methods of avoiding that made-up future and then again why people are exhausted need medication or alcohol so that's that's the illusion of time there's chronological time you know the sun is at the center of the universe we say the sun rises and sets but it doesn't um but that 24 hours is a consistent linear time and we are in progression with that and the degree to which we're in harmony with chronological time is the degree that we are present we can drift into our minds but we're not drifting in time we're drifting into perception of memories or imagination yeah that's really [ __ ] cool I like that and I I feel like the the listeners and the viewers will take a lot out of that piece in particular yeah in a real life situation not to interrupt but like when people struggle with fear and anxiety this is why it's so powerful to understand the fear and anxiety that they have occurs to them as though it's something in the future they're worried about right but when they get no no your future happens now so you're having your fear and anxiety now because you're having the thought now over something that hasn't even happened yet you're literally making up your own anxiety which is so powerful right because if you really get that you're no longer a victim of a potential worst case scenario that you think is out of your grasp or your control no you're literally generating your own emotions right now based on the lens that you're looking through equally on the flip side of the same coin you could say there's excitement excitement you're generating based again on a future proposition that hasn't happened yet but it's a better case scenario or something you're quote looking forward to but that equally is an unknown going back to the three words I don't know what the [ __ ] gonna happen right so that I don't know is the access to Freedom we can have intention you know I'm prolifically creative I'm building a lot of things writing books doing businesses but I don't know to what degree they're going to happen will be fulfilled or on what timeline I can have you know a degree of commitment to something someone might say I want to lose 20 pounds and I'm going to do it in three months so now they've created an intention with a timeline which is the most powerful way to do it but now they come back to present time they use that created future as inspiration for the actions that they take so people want to generate a new life or a future that they're inspired by then yes you use your imagination you foresee it you have a realistic timeline and then you take actions to fulfill on that but emotionally to be powerful about it it's living from that future already fulfilled right so yeah using the very common I want to lose weight which in itself in language is a very powerless way to say it but let's say someone's 160 pounds and they want to be 140 then how would they feel what why what's the intention why I feel healthy I'd feel lighter I'd feel more confident okay great we'll embody those qualities now and then they are the the stimulus or the inspiration for you to take actions that will automatically lead to that outcome that would be commensurate with the person who is 140 pounds you see because most people perpetually push their future away because they think well I'm going to be happy when I make more money which is saying I'm not happy now that emotion of not happiness unfulfilled maybe even depression or resigned uh cynicism isn't a motivator to make money or to feel well valued or to feel inspired to pursue your Fashions or your businesses right so most people are living the other way around uh they're living from history with evidence of why shit's not going to work for them yeah which only perpetuates that sort of malaise and I'm saying no if you live from a future fulfilled how would you feel about it well [ __ ] that'd be awesome okay great well be awesome and then that's what you will create yeah that's so powerful that's so powerful and when you when you look at how many people are living in that uh state of you know you refer to it as dis-ease and yeah things that are causing stress it's the reactions it's the living in the future that hasn't happened yet because you're not in the now and whatnot um you know you often talk about how that is what over time accumulates to actual physical disease correct um are you able to I mean I I kind of understand that um but yeah the listener that that can't kind of put that together you know are you able to kind of just go into a little bit of detail physiologically about how that kind of makes sense sure yeah so you know depending on what age someone is when we're younger we have sort of better buffers we have more um capacity to heal and so you know when you're younger usually also you're in an environment hopefully where the majority of your needs are met right you have a roof phone you're a house your parents provide food and security but then as we go through into that adult phase and now we're on our own we feel it's incumbent upon us to survive we get that very common state of stress which is sort of a generalized expression for we are in a mild to sometimes severe state of fight or flight which is I'm trying to survive I'm trying to make rent you know I I feel the pressure to uh make my parents proud or to fulfill on a vision that my dad wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor or whatever it is and that creates this angst and stress which is the absence of absence of ease right so that's dizzy so it always starts uh psychologically and emotionally so basically our nervous system which is the way that we relate to life is creating an internal terrain that is hostile so we're not feeling secure held reassured at peace and so what happens is when we are in sympathetic mode which is to Common vernacular fight or flight which people would have heard and again it's a gradient right like in Terror and panic you're literally fighting for your life or that's how it occurs there might not be someone trying to stab you or they might not be a bear chasing you but the feeling of the pressure of you might get fired or let go from work and you don't know how you're going to pay your mortgage can simulate the same feeling of Terror now when the body is in that state of fight or flight which is a necessary faculty of Being Human it's helpful at times right if God forbid you are in a barber all or you need to look out for yourself or you need to protect your kids or whatever it is that's helpful to have but when it's a consistent chronic state then the body literally can't do any repair because you're dumping adrenaline norepinephrine cortisol into the system which has a Cascade effect so one of the side effects of being in fight or flight is there's no need to properly digest food right digesting food you know having had a beautiful freaking yogurt and fruit and like this beautiful Sunday or whatever you had for breakfast the body's like okay I don't have time to fully metabolize and digest that because the brain is telling me that we're in a threatening situation which again we're calling strats so now what happens is our body of physiology is dependent on nutrients right and the way that we obviously sleep we feel we nourish ourselves and we get rid of waste matter and all of the things that sustain our Vitality so if the predominant way that we heal which is through the foods that we ingest and equally mentally the things that we ingest is turned off because our brain is saying we're in fight or flight then you don't have to be a rocket scientist to recognize that eventually you're going to have a deleterious effect on your ability to um replenish tissues and to have vital cell replication so that you can maintain the quality of your own physiology right so if you're in a constant state of stress you don't digest your sleep is going to be impaired your cell replication and Rejuvenation is also impaired so yeah if you're robust and you're built like you brick [ __ ] house and an ox then fine you might get away with it for a while if you have a more fragile Constitution then symptoms of sickness and disease are going to manifest quicker and this to me is what we see over time is that Cascade of living chronically to varying degrees in a state of fight or flight because the brain is telling you that life is dangerous or you're in a position of threats because you don't feel like you're enough or you're not going to be okay then eventually it is just physics that your body has to show the wear and tear of not being given sufficient time rest and peace to heal itself and so so that is you know why I'm so passionate about health because yeah you know I work with a lot of people who have plenty of resources they might even have their own personal trainers they might have chefs they can buy good quality organic food they live in a nice home that's safe in a nice neighborhood there's nothing really for them to quote worry about but because of these deep-seated constraints of fear and inadequacy and security they're not enough whatever it is they're in a mild state of self-consciousness as it relates to what do other people think about me am I going to be okay am I keeping up with the Joneses and so they have externally all the trappings but internally they're at war with themselves and that will eventually manifest in obviously the Myriad of different sicknesses that people experience so everyone lots of people understand 100 yeah I think it's a big big wake-up call for a lot of people and and sometimes just hearing it or seeing it like that kind of allows people to really get a grasp of of how important it is to work through these things and you know my producer Kane and I were talking before the show we're both big sport fans basketball Combat Sports all that type of stuff and yeah Kane had a really good question and I wanted to throw at you so for someone like uh Mike Tyson right so he has a pretty rough childhood um grows up in an environment which is quite stressful and there's a lot of trauma and whatnot and and obviously in the the middle parts of his life at this point anyways there's a lot of uh you know getting locked up there's there's the um all the stuff that he gets in trouble for and it kind of all kind of shows itself in terms of the trauma that he's been through and the conditioning as a child like if you were to work with Mike Tyson before all this bad [ __ ] kind of happened in his life in terms of him acting out and whatnot what are some of the things that you would have done in order to hopefully prevent a lot of the negative stuff that has happened throughout Mike Tyson's life I mean it's all hypothetical so you know I just want to speak to that first um when you look at someone like that it's not you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see that he is quite literally a fighter yeah so fighting as a physiological response is a mechanism it's a maladaptive way that the person is trying to survive a perceived threatening environment so in his case it gave him a career right but at what expense all the drama or you know the misdemeanors God knows what in relationships loss of finances loss of cognitive Health you know he's obviously taken a few punches and yeah whatever drugs he's done so his internal terrain is literally he's at War now when somebody is scared and they are a fighter they are equally dangerous now you put them in a ring with somebody else versus me I probably wouldn't stand a chance I mean I'm pretty Adept I'm a good athlete but I'm more likely to win a fight out of helping somebody discover their own love right yeah you know that's more my methodology I've never been in a fight my life so with someone like that he would have to see that his environment that he grew up with with trauma and all of the hardship he went through as a kid the absence of love love the absence of recognition acknowledgment and value is what left him literally in a state of Perpetual survival and so anybody who's on the streets in the ring doing UFC is usually the the you know they are the byproducts of a very hostile environment as a child and that's the way they learn to survive but anytime you're fighting or even resisting life you are in a state of deleterious cost to your own vitality and well-being yeah it might serve a purpose you might become the bully in high school for a minute because you're bigger and you've learned to be a tough guy but only because you're having to sustain that abusive environment at home but at the end of the day it's always going to be at your own loss yeah because you can't sustain that you can't be in a Perpetual state of fighting life without there being some really um deleterious impact you know that's that's just sad honestly for most people yeah and I guess always in a constant state of feeling like you need to seek validation through your actions instead of just being able to accept or or give love naturally without having to do something for it in that case yeah that too and that could be sort of like the slightly less invasive version of fighting right where maybe a kid isn't in a hostile environment they weren't hit they weren't disciplined but maybe they weren't noticed or acknowledged and so they felt that whatever they did was never sufficient which can breed that mindset of not enoughness and so there can be this constant striving to prove oneself which itself is also exhausting right yeah so ultimately at the end of the day you're always battling your own perception of yourself and so it's never the demon out there it's always the way that we are relating to ourselves which is a blind spot this is why there's compassion you know people are literally oblivious to that which they're oblivious to right so you can't have judgment somebody knows for example they shouldn't smoke cigarettes in this day and age but they're still addictive whether it's now predominantly physiologically but before it was because they had so much angst and anxiety that they needed that nicotine to just get some relief but they don't know why they really struggle with anxiety and feeling uncomfortable in their own skin so they know consciously that they shouldn't smoke but they don't know what at the subconscious level created The Habit well because they're scared they feel her and they don't know the story around that that no one loves me I'm worthless right and if you live inside of that mental prison then you are going to feel the ramifications of that and seek relief however you can nicotine weed alcohol food sex whatever it is so that's where I think with this work I always start with a lot of compassion that people are doing the best they can within the level of awareness that they have so Mike Tyson was one of those people who's blind to his own deep-seated constraints just learned to survive and literally fend for him himself albeit with great cost he carved out a career finally made some money but to what degree is that a fulfilling purpose-filled life I mean he's maturing now maybe he's starting to see some of the you know underlying currents that drove that and he's finding love and peace and acceptance but yeah I mean this is how most people live their life right they are in a constant state of fight or flight to whatever degree before we move on because I I really want to get you to explain this example of um of an athlete in particular that you've that you've worked with that I found is super interesting but just before I move on to that um to wrap up this part so for someone that does have that trauma or that conditioning someone like a Mike Tyson or whatever and or you know they might be a CEO they could be whoever the [ __ ] it is and they start to see this level of success and they start to get money and they start to materialistically see benefit of you know expressing whatever it may be how difficult is it for someone like that to then take that step back and actually work through the the trauma and the conditioning to to realize that maybe what they've just made a living off even though it's come off the back of trauma or conditioning is not actually helping them in the long run if that makes any sense yeah no it does and it depends on the individual right it's like it's hard to answer specifically but it depends on where does somebody put the emphasis of success when somebody comes from a traumatic background where there might have been a lot of poverty or scarcity and they've learned through all the maladaptive ways to cope as a fighter in life maybe to the degree that some people cheat they lie they cut Corners just to make it and they start to Garner the trappings of that behavior where they can buy the fancy car they can throw money around at a strip join they get the women or or the guys if it's a girl doing it or they feel this sense of internal worth based on their external superficial success that can be very hard to undo because there are collapsing power status and value with what they've accumulated but to me then that's when you see people go into depression midlife crisis when usually around that age of 30 could be maybe 40 depending on the sport you retire and so now where all of that value was associated in terms of your recognition you're a professional athlete you go into this feeling of worthlessness again which never went anywhere was always underneath the surface but it was mitigated or hidden by virtue of the external illusion of success so that can oftentimes be the comeuppance of somebody where they're like okay [ __ ] now that I have done all of this but I still feel empty I mean David Duval in golf he won the British Open and went into severe depression because even though that was something he had aspired to he realized oh but now what right like that problem right so so it is up to the individual at what time they have usually some kind of Crisis you know that's sadly what most people need is they need to have that Dark Night of the Soul before they re-evaluate what is real success and to me you know real success is to be totally at peace now the irony is when you're totally at peace internally you tend to be somebody who tracks the external trapping so you you can have it all but if you get the trappings without the internal piece at some point whether it's this lifetime the next or you want to get poetic about it you you have to face the music that that's not success it's it's a facade that can you know sustained internal lack for a while but it's it's no it can't be it's not Perpetual right it's it doesn't fulfill the whole like that's why one of the most prevalent words in marketing is more right like if you're watching an infomercial and they're like wait there's more but if you're the first 500 callers you'll get the free [ __ ] toaster or whatever it is like more is like that ultimate Temptation for the ego which is based in lack yeah but it's the ultimate void that can't be fulfilled that's a thanks thanks for sharing that um a certain basketball player that you worked with um had a [ __ ] horrendous free throw percentage um in terms of the average in the league um and you know I remember hearing you talk about the process you worked through in terms of helping get out of his own head and come back to that present moment and stop you know shooting his free throws based off past results and whatnot yeah but you're able to just quickly explain I guess how how that process plays out whether it be for a basketball athlete or a golfer or or whatever it may be um someone who is either had success and in a bit of a slump or someone who is just kind of far too deep in their own in their own Consciousness to that is affecting their present uh performance yeah it's that self-fulfilling prophecy right so one of my quotes they say past hurt informs future fear so in this case with this athlete or any athlete who's had a series of what they will interpret as failures disappointments then it's only natural that we are concerned for the continuation or repetition of that right so it doesn't have to be Sports anyone could look at okay they had a bad breakup and then they had another bad breakup going into that next relationship there is by nature of Being Human no one's going to begrudge them the concern that well this is this person going to be a bad breakup too yeah so we tend to live our life kind of looking over our shoulder now for an athlete that's Kryptonite right because as I said earlier the only place an athlete has power to perform is in the present moment but if much of that athlete's attention is based on past failures then you're already compromised in your ability to perform now because you're not using all of your faculties let's say as every human being has to within their capacity a hundred percent ability to be present right and that might vary someone's presence might be a little bit compromised versus someone's out of someone else's presence but 100 presence is the greatest precursor to at least you're having the best outcome possible for you right but if an athlete is 50 present because they've got 40 on their history that hurt and now 10 for the concern of the future of that being fulfilled again they're operating literally at half of their capacity which is that self-fulfilling prophecy so with this particular athlete I helped him understand the futility of that mechanism of trying to survive which is really the little child who doesn't want to disappoint in his case earning millions of dollars millions of fans watching a lot at stake his performance was often times the differential in a win or a loss right if he was at the free throw line 10 times and he missed eight of those and only made two but they lost the game by three points him even just getting four more would have meant winning by one right so and that's not a crazy average to get six out of ten that's still below average yeah but it would have been the difference so then there's a lot of guilt there's a lot of Shame there's a lot of embarrassment so we had to incorporate his history and find profound acceptance for he has to this point done what he's done now when people have histories that are listed with trials tribulations disappointments and failures they end up trying to fix their history which means they're constantly living in it so I often make the joke of like Men In Black when you know Will Smith and um what's his name Tom what's his name I can't remember the actor's name but um sorry what's that Tommy Lee Jones Tommy Lee Jones yeah so whenever they would wave that block what that black one and someone someone's face after they'd seen the aliens they they had no memory of that so the joke that I say with people especially my athletes is giving them the conscious form of memory loss right so it's like a form of Alzheimer's not to belittle or make fun of that disease it's awful but you know where there's no sense of History anymore yeah you're not you're no longer being defined by what happened you're just well I'm here and I don't know what's going to happen so it's that combination of the I don't know am I gonna go nine for ten from the free throw line or I'm gonna go zero from ten all those possibilities exist in the quantum field but what am I gravitating more towards as I said earlier am I living from this is all going to work out it's going to be awesome which generates a feeling of ease and relaxation in the moment which for an athlete is the precursor to better performance yeah and so it becomes self-fulfilling that way conversely if I'm concerned about a future then in present time I'm going to have tension and stress which changes my biomechanics which is an athlete who typically does well when they're relaxed means I'm going to have a compromised result which is equally self-fulfilling so you start to see regardless of what you're focused on it's freaking powerful if I think that it all works out then in present time I tend to be in a state of ease which then tends to fulfill on a good outcome if I'm worried that it's not going to work out then I'm in a state of disease and that equally tends to fulfill on the tension and The Angst that I've got in my body which doesn't allow me to perform freely yeah that's so powerful and I mean I don't know if you're over if you're all over this situation or not but someone like it obviously him being Australian it really intrigues me but someone like a Ben Simmons to me it's super interesting to see what work like that would be able like what effect that would have on someone like Ben Simmons at the moment who is obviously an extremely good athlete and basketball player that is in what seems like a serious mental slump and and kind of playing far too much on his own okay I haven't seen what he's doing or not doing right yeah it that's the thing I didn't grow up playing basketball I certainly didn't play out playing baseball and yet I've worked with God knows how many major league baseball players I didn't ride horses I helped one of my show jumpers get a goal you know it's like I it's irrelevant to what they're doing because it's all what's going on between the ears and that's why for me particularly it's so fulfilling to be able to help people from all walks of life because when you understand the mechanics of how the mind works and what it means to be human and that we by Design wired to try and survive once you can overcome that then you're just free unreal I mean I'm very conscious of your time I've just got one more one more question for you if that suits you yeah things like let's say meditation affirmations all that type of stuff obviously are of benefit for people in certain situations and whatnot I've often heard you speak about how you know although people may feel like they're you know mentally in a really good place and they're doing X Y and Z whether it be meditation yeah journaling and Ice bars and all the rest of it and whatever it may be yeah um the fact that they are having to do that on a daily basis in order to feel good is still meaning that they're at a level of dis-ease or they're not at their natural state so for someone like yourself who has obviously done a lot of this work and and teaches this and and helps people with that I'm intrigued to hear like what type of things you do if any on a daily or weekly basis in order to continue to stay that level of self-awareness and and work through blocks or things that may come up for you if you are doing forms of meditation and whatnot like what is a kind of typical day look like for you in that regard sure um I mean I do all the above to varying degrees I don't like task master myself in terms of like I have to do this and got to do that because that would be coming from that state of dis-ease the way I look at it is you know if people compare tension to why are you doing something right that's the underlying intentionality that drives Behavior so if somebody's meditating using affirmations working out because there's some underlying agenda you know in late terms while I'm doing this because then you've got to look out what's the because right so if somebody for example is going to the gym because they feel that they're overweight they're out of shape and they're fat that seems like a good choice and an appropriate behavior for the current condition they're in but it's probably not going to be sustained or they're going to revert back to the thing they're trying to get away from because the mechanism they're using is they're being driven by judgment right they're saying I am something that I don't want so I'm going to try and do something to get rid of that so then they're in conflict with themselves so I invite people to look at are you trying to get away from something or are you trying to work towards something so for me personally I'm not trying to avoid anything get away from something I'm just taking care of in most of my behaviors are I'm taking care of my physicality my machinery not because I want people to think I'm cool I look sexy I've got a six-pack and people will like me or it's just I am through my own perceived self-worth I'd make choices that are commensurate with somebody who values themselves right so if you look at something more objective like a car if somebody has a car they couldn't give a [ __ ] about then they probably haven't changed the oil for months maybe years the tire pressure might be off the inside might have old rappers Chinese cold takeaway food who knows what's in there because they're not perceiving that particular object with any sense of worth and so there isn't the associated TLC that would go with that right taking care of so for me the most pivotal part of any kind of daily routine if it's going to be one sustainable two impactful it has to be based in genuine self-worth otherwise people are choosing behaviors trying to compensate for a deeper feeling of lack and that can never be fulfilled you might get glimpses you might lose a bit of weight feel sexier for a minute and then you feel good about yourself but it's like whack-a-mole you know where something will pop up in another area of your life it's like you feel good about your body but now somebody else got the promotion of work and you did and you're like [ __ ] you know I knew I wasn't doing good enough and now they focus all their attention on trying to become better at work and then their health gets compromised you know so it's like I'm the Center of My Universe and my state of being as I relate to myself is it's unfuckable with right like who I am is it's very deepest core it's it's a expression of Truth for me it's not something that varies then around me my health my body my relationships my wealth my business those all will oscillate and go through Cycles most people have it the other way around where internally at the deepest level they don't have a sort of sense of self-worth that is based in true fortitude and so they're trying to manage the circumstances of their life to Garner that yeah Matt's futile and exhausting but if I am this pillar of consistency in the way that I have my qualities and my values of freedom of Love Of Peace of worth yep and I function from that place then not only do I tend to get better outcomes but if I for example have a slow day I'm tired from travel I don't have any internal dialogue of disdain or self-abuse that I didn't do something yeah it's just I'm present with the circumstances of my life I've traveled across country I've been speaking to audiences I've worked with clients and I'm a little tired physiologically so rather than berating myself that oh you didn't work out you've got to meditate you've got to do this it's like no how about you put your feet up take a nap or maybe in this case I would lie under a red light as a form of you know stacking both rest but with something that I know is good for me so that's my invitation to people is to really look at what's the underlying intention are you trying to compensate for something that you feel is an inadequacy that is really based in judgment or are you genuinely curious to explore your potential and your capacity as a human being out of the true Joy of exploring what it means to be you that's Epic but uh Peter I've absolutely [ __ ] loved this conversation and I genuinely could just sit here and just chat with you all day um which unfortunately you've got [ __ ] to do and so am I so that's not gonna happen but um yeah and I appreciate your time and coming to Australia anytime soon um I don't know I'd love to uh I tend to be in a position now where I'm not such a huge fan of travel so it tends to have to be something that's an invitation I did just get an invitation to come and speak in New Zealand um so we'll see if that pans out but um yeah I tend to sort of my my travel tends to be dictated by invitations and opportunities to make a difference so um I'd love to I lived in Sydney for a couple years to my favorite happiest years of my life we had a lot of fun so um it'd be great to get down there again sometime brilliant well I might have to see what we can do try to organize something yeah um yeah all right mate thanks thanks so much and for everyone who has tuned into this episode whether it's whether you're listening to it or watching it um firstly we really appreciate it and secondly if you've taken some value we'd love for you to take a screenshot of this episode share on your social media tag myself tag Peter keep up with these great work and check out all his other extremely valuable content and um hopefully we we uh we get to chat again at some point maiden and maybe even see you in Australia yeah sure thanks Danny thank you [Music] Danny Kennedy Kennedy comes the very best version of yourself

Channel: DANNY KENNEDY FITNESS

Views: 17,170

Keywords: lifestyle, mindset, coach, identity, conscious

Id: SJELmsv79GA

Length: 55min 54sec (3354 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 17 2023