IN IT TOGETHER: A Conversation on Race

all right good evening I think we are broadcasting live fantastic look at this hello my name is for those who don't know me my name is father Anthony Meza and I hope that you can see me and hear me okay and I thank you for joining us here for this special discussion that we're having and as you saw in the title it's called in it together a conversation on race and really you know I thought about how am I going to introduce the topic there's no need for an introduction everyone knows what we're here for and everyone knows what's going on in the world and I just want to explain why we're doing what we're doing then we can go ahead and get into our topic and everything that's going on in the world today obviously there's a lot of people who are talking and it's very easy to go online or turn on the TV and hear different people speaking and I think it's dangerous I think it's dangerous to only listen to people on TV and in the media talk about important events like you're taking place in our nation over this past week I think that the nature of media and television these days is that it encourages people to be extreme on either side and what my hope is tonight is that we would have a real conversation with real people who I really know and I really trust and if you're a member of our STS a family you know and trust them as well and love them unless let's listen to what real people are saying as opposed to what Talking Heads are telling us and people who know sometimes you're trying to incite reactions out of us on either side so with that said why don't we start with a short prayer because we have a a right word I guess volatile topic would be the only appropriate thing a a hotly discussed topic so let's pray that that God guides us indem opens our hearts okay so just bow your head with me and let's say a prayer in the name of the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit I'm guiding men Heavenly Father Lord we thank you that you've given us an opportunity to speak and to listen to one another in this format tonight or it's tough being all by ourselves but we thank you that you give us a chance Lord that we can connect in these ways I pray Lord get open all of our hearts and you guide our discussion and give us all wisdom not just to say what we want to say but hear what you want us to hear and that each one of us Lord will take one little step closer to healing not just for ourselves and for our family and for our community but for our nation for our world pray this in the name of your son the prayers of all your saints amen okay let's get to the main event you are not here tonight to listen to me speak we have three guests we're going to be joining us and I am going to bring them on right now you should see them on your screen in just a second all right there we go that's one that's two and that's three all right if you guys don't mind unmute your cells right here let me introduce well you can unmute as I speak Joan sorry let me introduce three people who I love very very dearly and if you're a member of our STS a family you know all three of them as well if your screens look like mine on the top left we have mr. henick obd who he and I go way way way back and we've been friends for many years mr. Kendrick Barnes man who been close friends for years now we play basketball together and unfortunately the guys talented in many areas but you know actually my son told me he's that we could call Kendrick tell Kendrick I've been working on my game and I'm ready for him so I don't know if you've been working out Kendrick but Michael my son was ready for you and last but not least we have MS mazi he was one of my favorite people on the planet as well and a friend of the entire mess of family she teaches my daughter in Sunday school and just a great person so these are each three members of our church family and what I thought we would just kind of start it off as maybe we can each just kind of go around heck we'll start with you and go to Kendrick than mazi it's just kind of introduce yourselves tell us a little bit about yourselves you know and kind of what brought you to this point and I'll leave all three on the screen for now and then when we kind of do the questions I should know what oh yeah sorry we'll start with you and I can all pull Kendrick and mazi I'll pull you off the screen then I'll bring you on after henyk he's done first of all thank you Father Anthony for really giving us this opportunity we are reeling than this period you know as I mentioned to you before living in frustration that we are in 2020 and things like this happen like you said I've been with stst and you and I have go back since sdsa was born in 2012 married to my beautiful wife Chanukah beanie and my two wonderful children my son who's in college at VCU nineteen-year-old even and 16 year old 10th grader leelai' so definitely really happy to be you know hopefully whatever I say whatever I share hopefully some of my experiences will shed a light and this topic of race relations so and anak not just a member of the church but for those again members of our church anak was our first treasure okay on the church board he served his six-year term two three year terms okay and we can't thank him enough for what he did so if you remember the SDS a family you owe him a big thanks and so we appreciate that all right let me bringing bringing Kendrick here all right Kendrick yeah Kendra there we go all right there we go I'm sure I'm married today Dagmar Witt I have we have two boys Ezekiel Emanuel they're two and three and we love being a part of STS a we came to us to say I want to say four or five years ago and it's just been a huge blessing for us and and I'm here because to speak on this wild topic you know that has impact in my entire life and in hopes of you know communicating and sharing like him providing understanding that we may move forward as the people and grow you know a living in a home more harmonious society fantastic fantastic we appreciate you coming on right here and leaving those two beautiful children for a little bit okay tell Mike I'll be ready for him he's watching Michael alright alright what say me and Michael versus you and your two kids we'll go three onto this kids are like 2 or 3 years old or something like that's I think we got let me bring mozzie on here alright and mozzie go ahead and introduce yourself to the lovely people out there because I came to small town in Texas where they're about 6,000 people and in that small town we were like one of ten black families community and so that was like my first experience really grappling with race really just you know it it was an interesting experience was culture shock and I came from a city yet I went to a pretty diverse school and everybody else looks like me in my school so the whole concept of race was really a new concept is not a new concept but something you have to grapple with more I guess so navigating that space is interesting so yeah that's a little bit about me I teach and I really one big reason I teach is to help with I feel like there is a big divide and economic urban area so I really AM tastic fantastic well thank you for joining us all right so I'm gonna take them off the screen right now and talk just a little bit right here and I know you're not trying to hear me talk you want to hear them talk but let's go through some of the ground rules kind of explain what it is we're doing there's a jumped on late the whole point right here is a lot of stuff going on in the world and we hear about it from all kinds of people on the news and I'm not saying anything about the people on the news there's a know me I'm not a news guy I'm not a you know following the social media I like to talk to real people okay so I I like to people that I know and trust and love the three people that are joining us here today fit that category so we're gonna ask them some questions okay and there are some pretty direct questions and what we're gonna do is we're gonna ask them to tell us nothing in this in this question answer is about right and wrong okay we whenever stuff happens we rush to judge right and wrong we hear opinions and there's right opinions and long opinions and my opinion is right opposite opinions wrong there are no questions tonight there will be asked that are right and long questions there are questions about how you feel and how you experience certain things and one of the basic tenants of human dignity human relationships and you don't get this you're never gonna be successful relationships there's no such thing as a long feeling so people are allowed to feel how they want to feel so if I say I feel hot in here you can't tell me no your comments yes I do so you can tell me that you don't feel hot or you can tell me that the temperature is whatever it is but you can't argue that I feel hot so all of our questions tonight are going to be in that vein and and it's it's very devaluing to a person when you tell someone you shouldn't feel that way so we're not gonna do them okay we're gonna ask tough questions but you agree with me that we want honest answers like the people on this panel like they could sugarcoat the answer but that's not gonna do it any good we want to get to some truth no healing exists without truth in any relationship okay the problems in your marriage it will never fix unless there's truth you got problems relationship with God must be truth so we need truth we're not going to judge we're gonna listen whether we agree or disagree we're gonna say everyone has a right to feel how they feel and the hope is that the more we understand the more we can appreciate that you know what maybe there are opinions out there that don't exactly match fine the other thing I want to say okay two more kind of caveats caveat for next caveat is I've disabled the chat for this video okay so usually when we do these we allow the chat people come whatever they want and the reason why I disabled it wasn't by accident is because look I'm a big boy and I can take criticism okay and I don't mind if someone's whatever they want to me but for the sake of our guests right here they didn't they're doing this out of goodness in their heart so me I'm not gonna let anyone to say anything about that okay so most of the time like 9 out of 10 times comments are very positive but every now and then you know people disagree so just keep on sending me the emails okay I'm used to getting I'm used to the criticism emails I got a special folder just for them so you want to criticize anything anyone says shoot me an email in the morning I will be happy to take a look at that put it in that oh so special folder that I have just reserved for that last thing I'm gonna ask some questions I don't know the answer to the questions I'm about to ask okay this this this event came out of a phone call we had last night it was a group of us okay was chatting with several members of the STA family we were talking about what we can do and how we should respond and we talked about basically came up with this idea so I came up with the questions last night I sent it to mozzie and peahen akin to Kendrick about 11:00 11:30 p.m. right so you are hearing the answers first time as am I so a little bit of fingers crossed right here as to what actually comes across but again because I know the people I know we're gonna get honest and more than anything else so with that let's jump in okay so what we'll do is we'll start off with kind of an easy one kind of you know break the ice little bit right here why don't we just say I'll ask all three of you the same question and the question is this okay I'll read the question all right we'll start with when we start with Kendrick okay same question for all three of you the events of this past week were truly unprecedented okaying that again needs no explanation and they've elicited a wide range of emotions from anger to fear to rage in each of you tell us briefly how you're feeling and what you thought as you've been watching these events unfold what do you think and what did you feel um initially I was I was upset I was enraged and I just thought you know man this is happening again you know in in at times it's a hopeless feeling because you're like this happened so much I've seen it so much and obviously now it's being captured on camera a lot more was just like madness that's just another guy you know murdered for being black you know what I mean and now I feel more hopeful because I know this is trained awareness and opportunity to have dialogue in to talk to those who may not understand you know why we would feel this way or you know where we're coming from or just the ins and outs of systemic oppression racism so I'm I'm very hopeful now and I think there's gonna be a great outcome I think moving for it this is what like I know it sounds a little crazy but this is what we needed to move forward to get towards that higher level in equality and justice for all hmm I love that because as you're saying if it wasn't for that we wouldn't be having this conversation right now for sure right so so if something's good is coming out of this you know I love that that that hopeful yeah that's great thank you for sharing that Kendra yeah no problem all right let's bring henna Khan all right anak tell us how you're feeling what you were kind of what's been going through your mind it's past week I think for me was more of frustration you know like frustrated angry that it keeps happening and and in a way and I like it like I told you last night I still haven't seen the video because I'm afraid where it's gonna take me you know like you see too much and in a way makes you kind of like tone-deaf but you know the this is a point where inside of me is like enough is enough you know and again race relations police brutality all these like like big topics however a disproportionate number of cases happen to african-americans to black folks people like me people like my son or and and now in this case like it could also be my daughter so that's when because you know as a parent you really struggle with these topics as to how hey you can achieve whatever you want to achieve but at the same time or wait a minute I gotta tell you about this issue how you act out there is viewed differently by people but I'm really hopeful to see people of all backgrounds coming together and really saying enough you know the guy this is where everyone should see this and be disgusted by it like there's no there's no black and white in this like there's a lot of steps that the person could have done and I say this with the utmost respect for law enforcement police officers have a tough job we don't know what goes through but so for every bad apple that we see there are a lot of a lot of good cops that serve and protect and and do their jobs properly but the weights should be done however but just the fact that it just happens to people who look like me it's disheartening and and frustrating so it's still it's still rolling with emotions and how to deal with it or whatever but the frustration is there but like Kendrick said I'm hopeful you know you always hope you always hope but it's a tough nut to crack and when you add the legal side of it because we may be going through the same thing if justice is not served in two or three years you know after the court rulings or whatever so but I'm really hopeful with what I see out there and you added a another element to it just so I won't make sure one caught it is henyk is saying not just on behalf of himself his wife but he's got 19 year old son 20 year old son held 19 19 year old son and Levi is 16 16 okay so then there's that thought that crosses your mind as several black parents and told me is I don't care what they do to me but the thought now every time my son is out driving Ami's you know 15 minutes past curfew you know the mind starts to race oh yeah yeah we appreciate that thank you anak I will get miss will get mozzie in here I'll try not to call you miss mozzie I'm sorry hi my daughter's on Miss mozzie I'm sorry mozzie I'm sorry we go informal now for a long time with these situations it just had got to the point where it's just like no once again and I had like tried avoiding just watching videos and things like that but III don't know just like this before it even happened in the last month I just my sister our team has been working a lot on race and I couldn't in general and I just felt like also just after a couple of things I read kind of to grapple with that concept and I felt like stepping in and leaning in a little bit about what's going on and and so this time I really did see the video and it was it was just like and then everything else happening it was like an overwhelming amount of emotions like rage fear hurt it's just a whole lot of things so I mean the anger was really there but I was just thinking I think it's a piece and something where it says or something that says be angry mature Knutson and I was like how do you do that so it's like okay you know God Christ what loves and he still I think he can't get angry but he still loves and how do you do that so I did feel compelled to kind of step in and try to do some things in general I just been feeling called in this direction but when you do do it it's just all so you're like then yours aside you don't want people to eat elixir anyway or so it's a lot of emotions and and you know I'll just kind of give everyone a little backstory here mazi buyer nature is very even-tempered person and when we had the call last night we had like 10 people on the call we were chatting and I threw out the idea and we all said you know education and discussion so I just drew it out let's do it tomorrow night you know what I mean of course everyone looks like smart so I said yeah I mean once we like let's do it but what was the wait for and I said volunteers and mozzie stepped out and raised your hand and volunteered so I appreciate that very much that as you said is be angry and do not stand him and what you're doing now is an example of that is that you have as a lot of people have a lot of anger so the question is how we can channel that anger into something positive and productive so we appreciate you being here mozzie and stepping out of your comfort zone okay but I'm going to take you off the screen right now okay and our first question i'ma bring Kendrick back and this question is just for you Kendrick and here's the question so Kendrick you and I we grew up very different okay we grew up very different homes ready different background I grew up in a white family as a white kid in Northern Virginia okay suburbs Tyson's Corner right outside of here you grew up as a black kid black family in South Carolina and I know a lot of people out there you know when they hear me say I'm white people say is white white like I know these days people wouldn't refer to us as white but we were growing up there was three options there was white it was black when they added Hispanic and then there was other okay and no one wanted to be other which is ready these days we ever was trying to avoid others so it was white that was black there was Hispanic so I whoever as old as in all practical purposes as a person who grew up as a black person I grew up in Northern Virginia outside DC grew up in South Carolina as a result of the way we grew up you and I as we kind of chatted a little bit before we have very different views of police officers okay and what you think if you get pulled over versus what I think if I get pulled over or see them approaching is very different so let me ask you and again again we want honesty right now what is your feeling if you see a white police officer stopping you or approaching you like what emotion does that elicit in you um I instantly become nervous and I start to think okay did I do anything wrong how am I looking I'm looking like I'm doing something wrong you know what what can I do to make myself late made the officer feel that I am NOT a threat to him when I'm in the car and I'm getting pulled over Emelia my thought is okay make sure you stop put your hands on the will take your wallet out your pocket sitting on the dash just be prepared you know and I just hope that you know I hope that this is a good cop you know I just I hope that you know there's no trouble because of not only my past experience but experience from people in my community those stops can go very wrong you know and there's not a lot of justice that happen for black people you know as it pertains again stop by causing things moving from there so um I just I mean I get nervous because you just never know especially if you see all of these cases where you know nothing happens so it's like my life kind of doesn't mean that much to this guy you know and not all cops are like that I've had a lot of good cops you know pull me over I talk to actually my good friends he's white and he's a cop but those are my feelings surrounding you know whenever I get pulled over by a white cop and I just I want to reiterate this okay that this is something that white people we don't we don't eat we don't get this okay because me I see a police officer and I'm saying who thank God like let's be honest okay I see a police officer coming I say okay good like now everything is gonna be okay that's that's my that's how I was raised is that the police are coming there's gonna be justice everything's gonna be okay and you're explaining a completely different emotion what I want everyone to see is is when you are nervous but when you're let's take nervous you more when you're afraid you say things you do things that that don't seem rational at the time but that's what fear does to us so you know sometimes when if we don't understand us can kind of point I want people to understand if there's an emotion inside of Eire versus one of calm well of course people then respond differently and that's why a lot of times unfortunately these situations escalate real quick because you have someone who's afraid and is panicking okay and even you know it starts to get twitchy and then of course and then as you say you know a lot of cops we're not saying anything bad about the cops I mean they unfortunately unfortunately we live in a world okay where a police officer has to worry that the guy in the car has a gun and that's unfortunate and there's no easy solution right here and what we're talking about is is different perspectives on things but I just want everyone I want to capture that piece that a feeling of nervous and then that I'll cause you to do things and say things that you know that a calm person might not okay so so thank you for sharing that there Kendra yeah no problem thank you for the music all right we appreciate it let's go to henyk okay Nick I'm gonna kind of I think I'm gonna kind of follow up on that that question about driving police officers and and you and I henyk we have children who are roughly the same age okay my son Michael is 15 and a half and I started teaching him how to drive you know especially when using this quarantine time empty parking lots everywhere we're out there the way you taught your son to drive is very different than some of the things I'm teaching my son when it comes to driving so maybe you can share a little bit about that yeah I mean and basically one of the conversations that we had or of course here's where I put the registration and insurance card or whatever but if you get pulled over these are the things that you're going to do first of all you have to show respect and if it's your fault you have to admit it you never talk back like there's a list of things that that I tell me Ben and then again I tell them more things now than I did back when he was 16 so and now I'm more straightforward but back then it was it was a struggle in terms of how to formulate the right words but the main thing is what has helped me in all the instances that I got pulled over for traffic violations is it's incumbent upon me to make sure that that he feels safe okay I like we can argue it in whatever way but at the end of the day I don't want to escalate the situation there was time that I was caught I came back from a done like a tennis match my wallet was in my tennis bag I I told him officer can I reach can I please reach my tennis bag that's in there whatever and you know the nine out of ten times you know they they they react in a positive way but it's all neighborhood defended dependence you know it depends where you live you know you know like if it's an inner city where cops face a whole lot of crime and they see a lot of things and you don't know it what by the time he stops you what other violation that he dealt with so he his his anger level might be different than in suburbia where you know you ran a red light and he stops you or whatever so it's it's neighborhood dependent so what I tell you know again I tell both my kids is just to respect not show because the way people see you is totally different than what's fair or not and we're not discussing fairness but you know just kind of want to add one thing what scares myself and khana more is tonnages right my wife Hana and is is the situation like Trayvon Martin died like back in 2011-2012 a 16 year old he had a hoodie on he was in his neighborhood some guy just attacked him thinking that he was you know a criminal and shot him that that the and an odd amount armory he was just running in his neighborhood and two guys you know like it's not just cops that we worry about it's unfortunate you know we we have to do more in order to make people feel safe again this neighborhood dependent where I live now in County you it's really incumbent upon me that they feel safe I have to be the one saying hello or you know and again fair arm fair it's my responsibility but it took a while for me to reach to this level mmm younger me or college me was anger first you know because you know like mozzie said I came when I was 16 I came you know in high school so race relations like you go to every every kid in your school looks like you to you know race relations in America and why is this happening and you know I come from privilege like I didn't have to think about this but now everybody's looking at me this way so you had to go through there was a growth process in terms of understanding this and really identifying I I wouldn't do justice if I say I went through the african-american experience like where generations suffered and I actually benefited from the civil right movement you know and to you know to be where I am but I came from a different background where my generation was like or my parents generation and parents and like if you go with grandparents they had good stuff you know life was good so when you come here you see the other side so I have to go through the education of my own bias towards that towards race tour african-americans and and race relations so what I'm talking about now may not be easy for people because you have to go through and and then times are different now absolutely done then then I make kids I mean the race relations it's totally different than 80s and 90s and then you go about 60s and you know whatever they're totally different so for them they have a different perspective than what we did how we saw so absolutely absolutely well thank you for bringing that to our light and again I just just want to highlight that that there's a lot of us out there when we teach our kids to drive we don't even think it's time to make sure they offer like what we tell our kids just make sure you have your insurance card you know what I mean like make sure your insurance card is in the car with you make sure you have your driver's license learning to think for a second that that that our kids lives might be in danger from a routine traffic stop but you know as you said and as others have shared as well is that depending on where you're driving so again that fear I'll tell you you know that that's as we share the other night that's always it breaks my heart is that is that someone live I don't think God created us to live in fear I think it's our duty whatever we can to help people to to not live in that fear so I mean it's a delicate balance in terms of explaining to your kid hey do not be afraid but at the same time at the same time you you have to be aware you can't be naive you know what I mean like so it's a delicate balance for a parent sometimes we don't even know what to say but the the frustration is like why do I have to explain this in 2020 in the United States of America absolutely well thank you for sharing their henyk all right I'm gonna bring mozzie back on all right mozzie this question is for you it says a lot of non black people are watching what's going on in the world while everyone condemns racism and everyone condemns murder that's not even up for discussion it seems like a lot of people naturally are gravitating towards the rioting and the looting that's coming as a response to it well no one obviously again no one condones rioting no and condemns looting what do you think as as you hear that perspective and that opinion being shared well I think by now maybe a lot of you have heard the same right voice of the unheard but I kind of want to expand on my analogy with an analogy of what I think about the kind of like help others need to see a little bit what that might look like so let's say you have two brothers we all call him Moses and Aaron and Moses Aaron please pretty please and this goes back and forth back and forth and Aaron continues to ignore him and tried to shoo them the way he doesn't listen to him well Moses finally he stares at Aaron and then he sees his phone and he knocks his phone out and take offering well what do you think how do you think he would respond Aaron at that point he'll go after him right he coasts chases after him and but and well he might not say what Moses did was correct we can logically explain why he did it right he he did it because he was trying to get some kind of appreciation from his brother he's trying to spend time quality time with him right and see like you value me but he didn't get that so when he did him he settled for a retention and I think that's kind of what's happening in America today and I'm not condoning violence or anything but I'm just trying to explain like my thoughts around this and actually I was talking to a friend of mine about this and to give you a little context he lives in or he works I should say I guess in a an Ivy League school and he's the only black person in his work environment and his coworker said she understood this issue like she understands the riots uh and then she such and she understands but it hurts and then she went on to say that I think someone's building I don't know if it's a family member or someone she knew building was looted and she got emotional and started crying and in that situation my friend walked away uh and why you might say he walked away and to him when she said I understand but and she went on about herself she kind of glossed over the fact that she understood and then explained her situation to him the but and validated everything else Hey and it almost said that like well how about all the black lives that are getting killed and looted everyday don't though did you cry tears for those and so I guess what I'm trying to say is if you're trying to understand or if you're if you say I understand try to like step back and I'm not saying one side or the other side or anything like that but I I want you to try to take yourself out of the situation and try not to make it about you and as you can't and try to act and spoken like a true teacher with that analogy that was a beautiful analogy we love it we love it I'll tell you another a similar analogy that I also heard someone speak the other day and I'll modify it slightly to make my point a little bit if you think about it in a lot of other you know think about it like a movie okay like you said okay but I'll add a little drama to make make the point there's a kid who's in school who is bullied okay on Monday I'm bullied on Tuesday employed on Wednesday and bullied on Thursday employed on fighting and going for the next weekend Boyd for the next week we're all cheering for that kid to fight back that's we're cheering for like that's the American idea we are cheering and when that kid punches the other guy we all cheer that's what we would do in the movie theater okay because we all have an inheritance side of us that like you know enough is enough enough is enough enough is enough and again like you said and I said and no one is condoning robbing and looting nobody is condoning that by any means just like we're not gonna condone punching someone in the face but I shared this in my scope on Friday night is Martin Luther King once said or quoted someone else who said but I don't condone the rioting but I understand it and that's what we're trying to get you right here is is no one's condoning okay we're not condoning it we're just trying to understand that when someone is eaten and beaten you know what like sometimes there's gonna be an explosion you know and in other contexts we actually call that justice and again I'm not saying writing is justice by any means but I'm saying we understand okay when someone is beaten down how they respond so I got some analogies in me too so thank you thank you my let's get Kendrick back on right here Kendrick was our next question so this question comes with a little bit of a preface to it okay not a sermon just a little bit of a practice okay but I promise if there's a question in the premise is this the further away we are from a problem the simpler it looks a the further way away we are from a problem the simpler it looks so it's easy you know for me to sit right here and say homeless people homelessness they should all just get jobs what's the problem okay I'm far away from it I'm removed it's easy you know and I see this like in marriage okay this couples fighting they should just get along the more removed you are from a problem you know like back when we worried about terrorists we should just bombed them all like just bomb everywhere everything is solved okay you're removed from a problem the solution is so easy but the closer you get the more you notice the complexities so white people far away from the problem in this situation look at this and think to themselves we're not judging okay but they would think to themselves well if black people if you just yourselves and just stay out of trouble none of this would happen what would you say to someone who says that or thinks that again in an effort to bring us closer to the problem we're not judging or pointing fingers but how would you respond about I would try to explain to them I guess sort of a history or a timeline of systemic oppression racism that those individuals have went through or black people have been through in being trying to show them the you know the frustration that outrage they feel along with the fear that you know one could you know exude in the in the situation also I will point out that there are people that are behaving in yeah you know injustice is happening all around them like Blake you know he know talked about a harbor he was just jogging through a neighborhood and these people obey Him he was black and they thought that he was this person that was robbed and that was related to a string of robberies they tried to stop him and take meds and all hands and kill this guy you know and there's a lot of situations that happen like that but back to the you know the system racism and oppression like you'd like people have been boxed in and you know they haven't been given the best resources to thrive in unless you get up close and you're in this environment and you see the actual root of the issue you know in these neighborhoods it'll be tough for you to know to understand why people are doing what they're doing or you know I don't think you would say well why don't they just behaving this wouldn't happen I think you will come to a more understanding of like I understand where they're coming from you know what I mean bring in and that and that would be my encouragement okay as a non black person okay and that again if you you're a white person you're a non black Christian you think this thought I get it okay I get it we again we sit back we say well if if you know he wouldn't do this or people wouldn't do this you know then they'd be fine I get it but I guess I guess the step for us is to get closer to the problem and as we get closer we'll see that there's more from 50 thousand feet away yeah it's just behave just stay out of trouble but the more and more we dig into it we see that it's not quite that simple so that's the point of this conference like if I to summarize the goal of this night is we're net I'm not saying we're gonna be like this by the end of the night but maybe we could take a step closer to see the problem from different perspective and you know what if we keep on learning keep on learning and we're all myself first and foremost say you know what I don't know the whole picture that's actually why we did that call last night like I wanted to talk to Kendrick in Henning and several and mazi and several other members of our church family and say hey show me this miracle perspective I don't know what y'all are thinking because I think that's how we that's how we come together okay to see things from other people's perspective so yeah thank you can't really no problems you all right let's get Anna back in here alright henyk here manic on our call last night we talked about a two-fold response of the church we talked about as a church community one to two things one is an education piece which tonight is the action item here and the second is we want to do an action step right and we want to I'll mention it again at the end here but this coming Saturday we want to go out there into the community we want to lock arms together okay white black whatever it may be and we want to go out there where our stsh arts and our folk multiplying charts we want to go out there and DC and see how we can help some of the places that have been hurt by the rioting looting so we're looking into those in just six but that's coming soon anyway back to the education piece let's stick with that someone once said actually there's not someone someone said last night on the call is that it's hard to blame someone for something that they don't understand and I appreciated that very much okay that there's a black person saying it's hard to blame non black people for something they don't understand so with that said floor is yours what can you say to all non-black people that are out there and really everyone forget about black and non black what can you say to everyone who's out there regardless of skin color help them understand the situation a little bit better wow that's a lot the thing is there is an individual part like an everyday life like for example my own example I mean it's my own experience earlier I said that I try to I well I got place where it's okay for me to work hard to make other people feel safe because of their perception when they look at my face or my stature or whatever or let me they let me take you to an example actually a very good example was I used to coach leave in soccer team back when he was like a fifth grade or whatever and these kids from a soccer standpoint it took a lot to get him to a you know what's that movie like sandlot or like it's just uh it was it took a while to to get him to the like to enjoy it and then to get to the skill level that I wanted him to play out so that one one season we were losing a lot I mean every week was just frustrating we're losing one after the other and then it was a rainy season and we don't practice and so they'd you know so they had we had like a stretch of like two weeks where we practiced hard and we showed up to a game and they were just fighting hard and was to to the ref was like a nineteen twenty year old white kid and he was very mouthy I mean if we say it's something he would just come and start a curse to me and the other coach okay yeah the other coach is is white so both of us looked at each other and said you know what forget it let's just we both looked at each other and it's like alright let him be whatever he's got a whistle anyway was a tight game at the end someone fouled like on our goal side and typically what I like either you give like a penalty kick or whatever but we were kind of arguing is like what are you calling and he lined all of them up like it like two feet from the goal and then the other kid kicked and they scored a goal and then he blew his whistle the game was over I was furious at that point I rushed to the field towards hims like and I was call our Ref I need an explanation in and you know and he turned around started cursing and and said I'm gonna call the cops bench cleared on the other side and and at this point this is just like my anger took toward different levels like I was like I don't need an explanation but I don't know what it is alone I like I I just stopped and walked back kids were confused my son was confused it's like he's still thinking why is he calling the cop like on you what did you do what like why why why but what hurt me I forget I mean this is like a 19 year old kid so I like I that didn't bother me it's my own parent like the parents on my side reaction that really confused me like then one of the moms came is like why did you rush out him you know what coaching training you don't rush towards arrest you don't but to me here it is a black man six foot one two hundred pounds yelling running towards a white kid so that has a different connotation that I always have a hard time explaining that you you can't be angry and show your anger you you and not have consequences I mean an end light in general and I can may have consequences but anger is embraced in the corporate culture aggressiveness is embraced in the corporate culture where someone who's aggressive is you know in a positive manner but to make a long story short that hurt me I and what hurt me most is I came home I calmed down and I wrote to the to my to my parents like that parents of the kids that coach I wrote an email said I shouldn't have rushed I should have you know charged why shouldn't I ran I apologize that the kids that to see this or whatever again we can argue why I should have to do that or whatever I think on an individual basis and then you know a couple of days later that same woman and and mind you this the her son was the most that benefited from Michael Chang timid kid I had different coaches like baseball football coaches that taught him how to play soccer was told to stand in one spot and soccer has not played that way or whatever it so the kid was free spirit all of a sudden mom sees that she loves it but she was the one who you know who came so as I was setting up for practice she came behind and even see her she had tears in her eyes and she said you know I I just wanna I just wanna apologize and tell you that you know what you're doing for the kids is amazing now we had to go through all that in order to but in her defense she didn't like she saw what a lot of people in America see like me running angry is is perceived different and it's hard to explain like Kendrick Maya might understand me and others might not understand me so that's that's the tough it's again it's incumbent on the individual I know when I say the individual is a black person okay so I take it like know my new neighbors I go say hello I am safe and in a way I'm saying I am safe three four times I have to say that and and then life is good after that you know because you really have to I don't know what kind of biases people have you know we were especially in society that we're very polarized in one way or the other so that's one that I would say like the individual has a part but two white people I love it when white people are themselves okay it may not work for but you know like I don't understand why you know I don't understand like you know these are the kind of conversations back when I was in college people would say why are all the black kids sitting in one team but why are all the white kids sitting in the seventy tables by themselves you know like so it's it's something that you can't solve but at the same time you have to reach out I mean like in our church we we always say that you have to go greet someone that you don't know and everyone is in their corner and be it you know like the Ethiopians or be it you know your own clique and you know Millennials on one side or whatever you know so it is in this day and age everyone has to try to know others absolutely I love that that from a church standpoint we just got to do it but from an education standpoint we really got to discuss these big topics the elephant in the room you know it's like we gotta bring them to light and people don't understand and people might say affirmative action it's not fair but not understand what that does to African Americans or people of color mmm so you could just say whatever you want to say and you know say it's not fair you know got it from a news fight or whatever but these are the kind of topics that was courage that we have to address naturally as a church and you know you know God will guide us and what how we should address it but but we definitely have the platforms to in order to enable that whether it's uh you know learning groups life groups or whatever you tried different groups instead of just going to the same group it's more important now that you do that absolutely leave that like I don't care if you drive 45 minutes join another person that looks different that is a different age group different whatever join that you would look I tell you the relationships I have from life groups just just joining different people like different life groups and meeting people that I wouldn't have talked to a church has changed me so if we just stay within hours I get another this is for all races like not just wife naturally if you stay within your group you just stay the same way so you're not gonna learn about others absolutely I'll stop right there I love that I love that and that that I love that the idea of getting to know people outside of our own social circle and again like I said there's not a race thing this is just a people and the dream is that one day we don't talk about you know the black coach or the white coach or the white referee or the black referee you talk about henyk the man we talked about Kendrick the man and and we we any I've said it before and I say anytime we lump people into categories that's when we can do horrible horrible things the Nazis didn't kill people they killed the Jews and it's just this ambiguous the Jews the Jews the Old Testament it wasn't individuals it was the Gentiles and as long as you put him in a group okay you can justify all kinds of horrible things the black people the white people the white police officers there's no such thing as white police officers or black police officers there's Joe the police officer and the police officer Jim the police officer you know individuals with names and each one of us unique so that that's the dream and that's why you know hopefully we get a little bit closer to that tonight so thank you very much enik all right let's bring mozzie back in here mazi alright our question for you and henyk actually set us up for this when you talked about the church the Orthodox Church is very ethnically rooted and this goes across whether it's Ethiopian Greek Syrian Coptic okay all Orthodox Church none of them are native to America okay they all have a back home or motherland but here in America the churches are very diverse and STS a our church we probably have about 15-20 nationalities represented and we always talk about limitless acceptance and each person we always talk about is made in the image of God and as I just said a minute ago doesn't belong to a group they have a name and they are child of God so the grouping the raise the ethnicity that stuff is honey once a second day that's like third okay their individual child of God with a name and a story and a mother and a father etc but how do you mozzie who is very involved in our church how do you think we can do a better job of standing with our black brothers and sisters not just at a time like this but all the time to explain what I SPS a family you know I love you so I hope you take all of this as me speaking to you in truth some of this might be painful but I think a few people might have mentioned it already men Kendrick that we have biases I think as human beings we have blind spots and we have implicit biases explicit vices we may not know them in other words and so for example if you're watching the well I have a cleric which means I'm in the red and in the best reds are the best reds are the best and I think the Reds get a bad rap - just wait till this Sunday I'm gonna defend the Reds like no way just wait till some people inside just like you know my temperament in general can be seen a certain way so if I see something that I might say is implicit bias it's hard for me as an individual to speak on it because in general I make it a point not to be seen as a angry black woman it's just it's something unconscious up so therefore like I won't say something so I think henyk mentioned like abou that you always say at the end of every earth at the beginning of the before you start the well you say greet somebody and I think we do a great job at that and I think that's a good start and and we do that and but I think that's just a start right um I think that can if that's all we do we can keep people in the periphery some people and I'm not necessarily speaking out myself I think I don't represent all black people in America but I'm just speaking on other individuals you have to so I think that can be just politeness and it takes so if I were to come to your house and you say make yourself at home just saying the words make yourself at home it's not gonna make me feel like that's my home right you do extra things to make me feel comfortable and you don't necessarily have to make your family members feel comfortable so the thing is people who like black people who are coming into a space that like for example in our church sdsa it's a Coptic Church so they're other so you would have to take an extra step to make them feel comfortable and so how do you do that right that's the question you emphasize and empathy I think sometimes can get misconstrued about what it really like people have a different interpretation what might be but empathy is really trying to understand and how do you do that father Timothy last night actually mentioned that he grew up he went to an elementary school that was predominantly black and so that says he was in a black space right and so when you're in it so being in a black space automatically not automatically but allows him to empathize because he really could understand right because the culture and different things of just the things that they may go through cuz he expressed that he actually went to a training about but he expressed a training about getting pulled over so I think so what I'm trying to say is challenge yourself and I want you to ponder some of these questions I'm about to ask you so if you are a parent and this is just I don't know the answer so I'm just asking you questions if you are a parent are the books that your children are reading are their black leading characters in there and not just because the book is about segregation or slavery but because they are an American kid representing an American kid um if you are like working corporate America if there's one black person in your job in your entire company will you would you speak up and ask your boss why is that and if not why not why wouldn't you I just want you to ponder these questions so you can maybe have it I for what your biases may be so like I said it's a little challenging but uh and I don't things are hard and they're tough and they're awkward but I embrace the awkward um we have to do that on a regular basis there are upper in it I think we're eventually caught you know some people I think for me I comfortable but there's other people that might not be so I just wanted I'm not going to share a full story because I want to keep the confidence of this individual but a few of us got together on Monday and just discuss how we take this concepts of what's happening and apply it to the Coptic community or not just the Coptic community just yeah I guess the cops community and what we can do and a certain individual expressed and first of all this person is a great well-rounded individual and they love the Orthodox Church you think it's a beautiful faith they think the faith is very beautiful and they would like to share it with other people but this individual said that they intentionally when they invite someone to the church make it a point not to invite a african-american person to the church specific to African Americans not just all blacks not to if you feel things are not exclusive in this situation and because it's too difficult and that was hard to hear Olivia listen accept things our first core value and that was hard to hear and I say Ethiopians were not absolved of this because I think whether it's an SDS day or outside of the SDS a community in the greater North Ethiopian Orthodox Church we are to our cliquish and we don't make a point to try to lean in into other cultures and learn because we think it's gonna water down our culture I disagree with that I think it will enhance our culture so I think what I would say is Lehman and try to check your biases and that's that's great now I'm gonna go back you said something there mozzie that struck me at the very beginning when you said if you come I walk into your house just saying make yourself at home would not make me make myself at home it's just like something that has to be said you got to go above and beyond and you know I thought about it from the church context because you're right I mean we do tell everyone everyone is accepted here and make we do tell anyone make yourself at home but if it just stops there two things gonna happen the person could not be feeling welcome and then I walk away saying but I said make yourself at home you know so again this is where the understanding comes in and you know I don't even broaden the scope right here again this is not black and white okay this is this is this is insider-outsider you know and I've been in a situation where I had gone to other Orthodox churches where I was the minority okay we're either in Ethiopian church or you know different churches if you've never been to a church where you're the only person who looks like you look I highly encourage you to do that because it will change your perspective and again make yourself and mozzie one time you rather service together I'm talking about where I mean I felt like I don't know what was going on in different language and different culture and yeah everyone said make yourself at home Amanda man I couldn't wait to grab my shoes and get back to my car you know to me because I just I felt so I can never say that place is my home and I remember back again this is not okay this is important point this is not black/white okay because in in Coptic tradition okay we're the majority people are in gyptian a white person would feel kind of that outsider okay and then when you have an Ethiopian Church again a white personally feel an outsider there so this is not black and white as much as this is this is a human being thing and and yeah you know what if if you mazi come over to my house and you tell you're my guest you tell me you're cold my children say but we're hot I'm gonna turn up the heat what I care about my children not what I care about my children but guys we have a guest in the house yeah we we we do it every to make the guests feel a little more crafter when we suck it up a little bit because our home so I love that principle and and I think that's that's spot-on that's what we needed to hear is that we as the church listen church we as a church I know this is hard to hear okay we don't exist for ourselves we exist for the world so like we as the church body it's not just like okay what can we do that's how we naturally think is ourselves and we want this again this was the classic debate in every Orthodox Church for so many years we want to pray in our native language okay but no but then American would come in who wouldn't feel welcome but there's only one of them and there's a 20 of us that's not the point the point is that the strong bear with the scruples the week that's the new st. Paul said in book of Romans and I wants a strong the weak as much as the one who is on the inside make the guests feel welcome so sorry hey I love that point mazi love that point okay we got one last question this one I'm gonna bring everyone back for this last question right here and I want every one of you right to briefly okay I'll ask one question and each one of you give us like 30 seconds a minute whatever it is that you want to say here's a question the central I'm sorry what central message might be getting obscured and all this mess from all the politicizing and the finger-pointing and hysteria going on right now if you could communicate one message one message that needs to be communicated to the world what would it be Kendrick but I would say let's try to understand like let's try to understand black people in and move forward in that manner because there's a lot of hurt there there there's so many challenges that the black community deal with because of like like I said earlier systemic oppression and racism like it's so much from you know access to no educational resources mental health is just so much you know and I think this attack and police brutality and you know the injustice is you know that we're dealing with right now I think that would help sort of get at the root of the problem and I think that's where we where we all need to hit and I think that you know we just communicate and just come to an understanding what we can learn from each other about this I just ended up agree okay thank you understanding henyk I think the the teacher side of mozzie said it earlier what most of us lack and in terms of communication is me informal so any foremost is listening let's just let's listen take time to listen and when I say listen is not turning on the news or going into social media and hearing opinion and posting something but really listen to what people are going through a whole community whole race has been disenfranchised okay now again if you are a child of an immigrant I will tell you especially annum child of an immigrant of person of color we owe a debt of gratitude to the african-american community for fighting the reason that our you know like most of our parents came to college and in the 60s and 70s is because the civil rights movement happened and so that you could get a job and you you know like they didn't fight for themselves they fought for a lot of people of color so despite our biases we really really have to listen and I'm hoping you know with with our community service or the action that we are taking that we we're not just doing to do like something and check it off it's just that we touch them hear and listen and not talk but you listen what kind of pain that people are going through this is an everyday situation for a lot of people didn't choose their neighborhoods their family or whatever but in America it's a fact studies have shown that where you grow up there's high correlation indicates where you're going to end up if you're in the inner city there's a high like probability that you're not going to end up and as a CEO and its economy stuff like this study has been done many times so there's a lot of pain there's a lot of is a lot of hurt that and that you we really have to listen to and not really look at our own side Amen that Amen listening thank you heading mazi one message you'd like to share needs to be communicated and to what you just said I guess so in this situation let's bring it back to the current situation that kind of got things unraveling go to current situations with the George Floyd I think we see Derek shoving his knees on the man I think I could be maybe optimistic or a tiger but I think the majority of America would agree that that's active racism blacker way I think the other cops who are there and allowing it to happen that's the part that people are missing that's the part that people aren't recognizing the passiveness and allowing it to happen and so I would say if you know you don't you might not be aware I mean Amy Cooper apologized but the first thing she said was she she isn't racist when when she called the cops on a black man who was bird-watching so she has biases there that she didn't even know where they were there so I asked you to really check your biases and try not to be passive and really try to speak up because institutional racism is very real I worked in urban city America education system and you see it's so hard for the students for the children to make that growth because and there there is not one white student I have taught in my five years in DCPS not one well there's one student who is happy so I think that goes to show you that we are still very segregated in so many ways and so I just ask you to try not be passive and so we can try to make some kind of change and change this into something hopeful and change the direction of some of the events in this country amen to that amen thank you and you know I appreciate all three of you guys coming on I'll let you guys talk a lot I know I talk a lot but you know I'm not gonna finish that's not good to say something and mozzie you know what you said is exactly what I wanted to share you know we've been asking you guys about your thoughts I wanna put myself on the big screen here sorry what we do like this okay but I'm gonna bring you don't go away okay because we're gonna come back and conclude with a prayer through my thoughts go during this past week it was exactly as mozzie said it was not to the one police officer who killed George Floyd it was to the other three I'm a logical person I'm a rational person forgive me for being a little insensitive if if the goal here is that there would never be murder there would never be racism there would never be evil I don't think that's realistic cool in fact I can I can say with certainty it will always be evil it will always be racism it always be murder though these thieves knowing they'll always be okay and that's what Jesus said is that this gospel is passed on in the world you will have tribulation be of good cheer I have overcome the world so we are not by any means think that we're gonna put an end to all violence racism or murder but what's unacceptable to me is the other three okay because that is what we can do something about and that's who we are the church that's we're called to be we are called to live in the midst of all kinds of evil around us and not to sit by passively as Molly said but to do something and I'm not judging those three I don't know their story I know anything about them but I know that man oh man if I'm walking my dog around this corner right here and I were to see someone it in need of help I don't care what color they are I don't care what raised unka who they are if someone is in a position where they are getting beaten up then it is my duty I don't have a choice another choice jump in there do everything that I can you know and and and that's the part that gets me and it's thinking about it the story of the Good Samaritan we chatted about this on her call last night think about the story to get Samaritan Jesus had a story about a man who's walking down the road he got beat up by robbers and left for dead Jesus didn't condemn the story wasn't about the robbers the story was not saying how bad he's robbed what's what they did is wrong I'm not saying what they didn't do it's wrong but everybody knows it did it is wrong but who Jesus condemned didn't condemn as much as you know as a pair of us wasn't real story but the story the bad guy the story was the knew who walked by and did nothing the story wasn't about how awful it is that there's robbers in this world how awful it is if there's evil people know if they killed the Son of God there's going to be evil people no matter what okay so wait we're not going to put her head in the sand and say we're gonna remove evil where he says we're gonna walk out these doors and we know there's gonna be evil but Church we understand about it we can't can't we can't stand by passively and do nothing okay I don't know how those three officers sleep for themselves at night okay I don't know but again that's not my job that's between them and God that's not my job Martin Luther King one sec in the end this is powerful in the end you will not will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends let me say that again in the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends and you don't have to think very hard okay you know just like I know that someone out there criticized me and cursed me and say whatever about me and enemy but a friend to watch it and not jump in it's 10,000 times more hurtful so let's remember Church that we are the body of Christ okay and it is our job to jump in and do whatever it is we can with that said I mentioned it earlier this coming Saturday don't know the details yet but we decided we got to take some action so we do something in church called love your city and we've been doing once a month we as a church go downtown and we love our city we just how can we serve and obviously for the past several months we've been put on hold because of the quarantine situation but we said it's time to bring it back okay and it's the return of love your city this Saturday and we don't know the details but what we it is the world is hurting and we gotta do something about so we're working on a way that we can go downtown we said maybe we'll help some businesses that have been affected by the rioting or whatever maybe we don't really know exactly okay but details will come and we just happy we got off the phone last night kind of late so we know we're gonna do something and I want everyone to note this okay and I know some people may disagree with what I'm saying right here but I think I think this is important is that we have not yet gathered together for liturgy we have not since the quarantine here we're hoping as I sent out an email that you know by middle to end of June but we are meeting this Saturday to serve and to me that's as much liturgy that's as much liturgy as liturgy as liturgy okay because that's the liturgy that if we cannot see Christ in one another especially in our are helpless in the brother and sister in need if we cannot see him think of st. John Chrysostom said if you cannot see Christ in your needy brother and sister you will never see him in the bread and the wine and on the table so we are gonna go we are going to serve and we hopefully after the weekend after that will be able to begin liturgy or maybe weekend after but the point is the body of Christ okay you need to gather and we'll do the masks and the gloves and we'll do all that stuff and we'll you know six feet apart and all that we'll we'll do all that stuff okay but we can't just sit by idly when there's people in me okay so I'm gonna bring our guests back in right here okay and what I want to do is just end with a prayer and if we were in person we would lock arms right here but obviously we can't but just kind of like a virtual locking arms okay but um let's all bow our heads and and conclude with a prayer in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit one God amen heavenly father or you are the father of us all were all your children black white doesn't matter Lord where we were born where we're from none of that stuff matters Lord because once this world ends were all on equal footing in the kingdom so I pray Heavenly Father that she would help us all take one step closer to seeing others the way you see them and seeing others the way you want us to see them with the heavenly eyes though we know where our far ways away and we know we're not going to get there with one conversation but we hope Lord that we can be one step closer at the end of tonight and one step closer tomorrow one step closer the next day and we just pray for healing for our nation we pray Lord for love and our communities the pray Lord that our churches will be safe places for all people of all ethnicities no one would feel like an outsider but everyone would feel welcome and everyone feel like a member of the family because whether they're my family are not my family they're your family God and that matters more than anything else thank you for mozzie and Kendrick and for henyk bless them Lord and reward them for being so courageous to speak the truth with us in in front of everyone here tonight you pray all these things and the mighty name of your son Jesus Christ the intercessions of our mother st. Mary with the prayers of Saint Timothy and Saint Athanasius and all your saints hears as we pray thankfully our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come I be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver our stiva one in Christ Jesus our Lord - the kingdom the power and the glory forever amen Thank You mazi Thank You Kendra Thank You Hannah thank you everybody for tuning in have a good night and if you want to know more about what we're doing okay if you're not part of the SDA family make sure you go to our website sta dot Church and sign up for our mailing list that way you can keep in touch with everything that we're doing okay thanks so much guys have a good night think about it thank you

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Length: 83min 26sec (5006 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 03 2020