I'm Your Boss I Know BETER! Get OUT! - It Will Cost $10,000 Boss, You're Fired r/MaliciousCompliance

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where we share stories of people conforming to the letter but not the spirit of request and today's first story is you'd better rectify this effing mess you've caused okay but you're not gonna like the result bid a background I've been working for a kick a medium-sized IT company for about four years I had a good track record but it moved to a department that didn't really fit my skills and very tall director told me I wasn't needed anymore I thought I was out of a job completely but managing director called me in told me that the company needed to implement ISO 9000 a quality standard that aims to formalize all those processes and roles that contribute directly and indirectly to the quality of the company's products he offered me a job partnering up with an external consultant here after consultant consultant wood project managed the effort while I was to be his assistant and full-time liaison person within the company I later learned that consultant was a professional friend of managing director of course I said yes consultant was a nice enough person but it soon became clear that he was out of his depth with the complexities of the project luckily I had a coach my brother-in-law who was very experienced in this area and saw the warning signs when I talked about what we were doing within the company there was a lot of skepticism because of an earlier failed project titled quality without limits that soon became limits without quality so this time around we needed credibility some quick visible wins and senior management backing however the managing director left the company and that kind of screwed up the senior management backing for consultant worse the new CEO was the very tall director here after very tall CEO who'd fired me earlier and although he knew it was important he didn't really want any involvement in the ISO 9000 project fast forward a couple of months and we haven't really achieved much my relationship with the consultant is getting a bit strained as I start wondering if I might become collateral damage of his lack of skills and leadership consultant asks me to book a few grands worth of training for the two of us I had to do it by a certain day the date passed he asked about the training I said I hadn't booked it he blew up to level five and demanded to know why I said I didn't think he'd secured sufficient commitment from management to spend that much and I didn't want to get stuck with an unauthorized spend now he's at level 10 and the SH started flying I was a bit taller than him and he wanted to go into a bird domination mode so consultant sit down me I'm comfortable standing thanks consultant sit down me I'll stay here consultant sit the F down me shaking a bit but outwardly calm I'm good consultant you need to get yourself to the effing CEO explain your failure to book the training and that you're the reason we're going to miss our first big deadline and rectify this effing mess you've caused I really didn't know what very tall CEO would do and that there was a very good chance I'd get thrown off the project and fired again but it was time to come clean so here's how I obeyed the rectify this effing mess instruction I got a meeting same day with very tall CEO and told him that we had barely achieved anything over the several months the project had been running I said that consultant was inept hadn't grasped the basic concepts of the project and that with him in the project manager role it was destined for an expensive failure I told him about the sit down episode I also told very tall CEO of another person in the company who I'd approached obliquely earlier in the week who I reckon would be a perfect fit for the project manager role this was later on a Friday and very tall CEO said leave it with me and told me not to turn up till noon on Monday I absolutely didn't know what was going to happen and that weekend was really stressful Monday morning I get a call from consultant which I ignore nerve shredding now it's noon on Monday and I'm in the building I'm kind of breaking it I'm outside the very tall CEOs office and he's there with the guy I suggest it should be the new project manager good sign they're laughing about something another good sign I walk in very tall CEO high meets your new boss me thanking Sh that went well excellent what happened very tall CEO well I called consultant into this office this morning and we had at me warming up and very tall CEO I told him we needed a serious talk about the project and invited him to sit down he started getting agitated and declined I asked again he refused I said either you sit down or leave the building right now Consultants sat down and I explained I wanted to make some changes net-net he left the building with all his stuff anyway an hour later but only after I told him why we didn't want him any longer me empty speech bubbles coming out of my mouth very tall CEO thought you might like the bit about him sitting down me still speechless new boss to me okay come on let's have a catch-up I was on freaking cloud 9 for a few days a new boss was an absolute star and I learned a ton from him ISO 9000 certification followed and that project success opened up very interesting doors later the second story is never messed with medics background in the German armed forces we have the concept of a technical superior I don't know how to translate it properly but basically it means that ranks on special duties can issue orders to ranks that would normally be higher in the chain of command if the specific order is part of their duty for example a simple private on sentry duty can issue orders to a colonel if this order is necessary to fulfill the century Duty like in order to exit a vehicle to be able to examine the vehicle for obvious reasons there are very few cases where this technical superiority actually applies and the most important one is the mentioned century duty and even this requires a special procedure to become effective bare gaturro putting soldiers into the role of guards however there is one more case and it's a more general one medical service and here this story begins I served as a sani short force anatot air medic in the Medical Corps of the German army and one of my first assignments after basic training was assistant to the staff surgeon of the HQ company of a division yes HQ company a lot of stars walked around there my superior let's call him doc was a rather young physician with the lowest possible rank for a physician starves artist of' - but despite or because of his low rank he was a real bad eh and really good at his job the entire medical staff really liked doc the many of the other stars did not maybe they were disappointed that such a young guy with a low rank had been appointed to the HQ company however he constantly had to fight against stupid HQ guys with more stars this only ended after a brilliant move of him and this is the story of his brilliant move the story begins with an ordinary morning of an ordinary day in spring a patient with a low oh I rank let's call him private sick walked in was examined and quickly diagnosed with a very obvious flu doc prescribed some drugs in a kzh attestation cranks ooh house sick at home which allows the soldier to leave the barracks and to cure the disease at home however since medical staff has no disciplinary authority kzh is only a recommendation and ultimately the disciplinary superior has to send the soldier home this makes sense in wartime but under peace conditions nobody usually denies a case eh for good reasons no sane commander wants to see an infectious disease spreading in his unit that is why we were very surprised when we saw a private sick in the dining facility when we went there for lunch doc walked over and ask private sick why the heck he was eating there among all the other soldiers instead of staying at home privates sick answered that his commanding officer a lieutenant colonel let's call him smart would not let him go home and order to sick at sleeping quarters instead and he mentioned that this happens regularly and we only figured this out because we happen to meet private sick during lunch time doc was fuming as soon as we got back to the medical facility doc immediately tried to call lieutenant colonel smart because he wanted to know why private sick was not allowed to go home I took quite a while to get lieutenant colonel smart on the phone he was obviously too busy to talk to doc but when doc eventually succeeded in the afternoon Lieutenant Colonel smart was not willing to listen and only explained the chain of command to doc and insisted on his right to overrule Doc's kzh attestation doc tried repeatedly to argue that it would be best for all parties to send private sick home but Lieutenant Colonel smart could not be reasoned with hue malicious compliance all dialogues recited roughly from memory and refurbished for the story experienced doc this guy wants to play power games oh I know this game as well let's just have a quick call I bet he does not know the relevant parts of the HDV here's Dean vorse shrift Army Regulations as well as me Dok then grabbed the phone dialed the number and I heard him explaining the case to someone obviously higher in rank he finally proposed to apply regulation HDV 46 XY I don't remember the exact number and started to smile as he obviously got confirmation to do so the next phone call went roughly as follows doc hello this is doc I'd like to talk to the officer in charge of the century duty yes this is doc do you listen okay according to HDV 46 XY and in order to prevent the spreading of an infectious disease i hereby put the barracks under quarantine and order a lockdown until further notice any questions yes a lockdown yes a total lockdown quarantine conditions I'll send medics to support if you have any questions feel free to contact Surgeon General big doc okay thanks doc lean back grinned at me and said well now let's wait for the fallout oh and send an ambulance to the main gate to show presents there remember it was in the afternoon when there's usually not much traffic going in and out of the barracks however around 4:00 p.m. regular Duty was over for most of the regular staff and we got radio from our medic scouts that long queues started to line up at the gates a lot of somewhat confused somewhat angry people but doc didn't care eventually a lower-ranking general let's call him brigadier general peeved off called in and demanded to talk to doc doc sir yes yes I ordered the quarantine according to HDV 46 XY no sir I will not withdraw this order no sir with all due respect you cannot overrule this only the Surgeon General can do this Surgeon General big doc yes of course sir goodbye sir it took another quarter of an hour when the exact same Brigadier General called again doc sir yes yes that's correct I'm sorry to hear that Surgeon General big doc will not overrule this and I am very happy to hear that he has full confidence in my competence yes what all this is about well sir I issued a kzh for a private with an infectious disease and Lieutenant Colonel smart denied kzh according to HDV 46 XY I'm authorized to order a lockdown to prevent the spreading of infectious diseases and that's exactly what I did private sick sorry sir with all due respect but I cannot tell you which infectious disease this is subject to medical confidentiality yes sir lieutenant colonel smart yes sir of course sir goodbye sir after he hung up doc looked at me and said I bet it'll take less than five minutes until we get a call from lieutenant colonel smart he guessed quite well but it was a little more than five minutes probably because Brigadier General peeved off had to yell at him a lot phone rings doc sir yes Oh lieutenant colonel yes of course I will in the lock down as soon as private sick is left the barracks you already issued the order I'm happy to hear that I'll send an ambulance to escort him to the gate no sir I must insist on this yes sir three minutes sir to me send an ambulance to the sleeping quarters pick up private sick and give him a ride home I stood up and while I went through the door doc added and make sure that the siren is on the whole way from the sleeping quarters to the gate this was my most fun ride with a KR kW Cronk & Croft wagon army ambulance ever nobody of that HQ company ever dared again to F with the Sandi's and the last story is my boss didn't listen to me and makes a $10,000 mistake so I work at an outdoor bar and grill I work as a busboy but have some responsibilities outside of that one of the responsibilities is stocking a walk-in freezer when beer shipments come in the restaurant that I work at is very popular in my town which means it takes a very long time to stock the mammoth shipments takes most of a day 100 to 200 cases of beer so I got to work on a shipment day and there's more than I thought I'm taking a lot longer than I usually would I look up the sky and the clouds are looking pretty rough I look at my phone and lo and behold it's gonna thunderstorm so I take the hand truck and start moving the beer under a canopy my boss sees this and doesn't like that I'm taking 30 minutes to move the beer for a second time she was a police officer for 20 years and as she puts it I always know best so she just starts chucking beer in the freezer way too high with no regard for how it's stacked I know she's gonna mess up really and try and explain that that's not how you do it this is how the following conversation ensued my memory isn't the best so this is a generalization me that's not how you do it you're stacking them the wrong way and the towers are way too high boss I've been in this game for three years I know what I'm doing me you put me here to do this job and do it right and I was trained properly that's the wrong way to do it boss either help me or the doors that way points at door cue malicious compliance so I go home for the day because I know it's gonna go wrong and I don't want to be responsible not thirty minutes later I get a call from a co-worker furiously screaming at me saying I need to get back and fix my mistake so I ride my bike back and walk right to the freezer in CMS the entire right wall fell down ruining around 4,000 dollars worth of beer two thousand dollars worth of food and the entire wall was soaked they had to close down the restaurant for two weeks to fix the freezer from the damaged beer got under the floor and started mucking up the walls and floor moral of the story listen to your employees update my boss tried to lie to upper management to get me fired saying that I was the one that told her how to stack the beer thank God my coworker Jack saw what happened and vouch for me that H fired thank you for watching

Channel: Slash Start

Views: 97,243

Rating: 4.9092593 out of 5

Keywords: r/maliciouscompliance, maliciouscompliance, malicious compliance, reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, comedy, funny reddit, reddit stories, reddit posts, reddit cringe, /Start, malicious, compliance, reddit story, funny reddit stories, reddit top post, employee, job, r/MaliciousCompliance boss, r/maliciouscompliance fired, r/MaliciousCompliance i'm the owner, boss, owner of this place, boss you're fired, I'm Your Boss, You're Fired, I Know Your Boss

Id: cz14jEZxyQA

Length: 14min 22sec (862 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 09 2020