If you could call yourself 10 years ago and speak for 1 minute, what would you say?

r ask reddit if you could call yourself 10 years ago and speak for one minute what would you say bro you need to chill out it gets worse my damn free trial expired buy bitcoin and sell at 19k do not date susan she will ruin your life plot twist your future soul mate also has the name susan but now you past self never dates anyone named susan leading to ruining your life don't eat the apple pie at grandma's house she forgot to rinse the pan so the whole pie will taste like soap my grandma made cake once after spraying the pan with garlic flavored pam ha ha it was awful in 10 years time you will get the opportunity to call yourself at this time for one minute you now have 10 years to prepare something good to say wait so it's my fault now that i am the same idiot in 10 years oh wait it is okay tell mom and grandma you love them they won't be here in 10 years i slowed down my scrolling for a sec hope you coped well with your loss brother finish school you a whole indeed i would probably add and stop drinking so ducking much invest in apple and you aren't marrying that girl you're seeing right now [ __ ] if anything [ __ ] coin 10 years ago was dirt cheap yeah but i can't be bothered explaining that to my stupid 18 us within a minute for the love of god get your driver's license if you don't you're going to get hit by a car similarly i'll let past me know which day to skip biking and take the bus i already looked enough like harry potter and now i have a scar on my forehead two things first i'd tell him that it would work out give him the name of the company that will hire him in eight months maybe he can get in earlier too bitcoin buy mine as much as you can and sell at fifteen thousand dollars what if you gave him the name of the company he applied early and they weren't interested in hiring him at that time and he couldn't apply a game for another year i'm pretty sure the bitcoin would cover that anyways lol is your refrigerator running you should catch it before it goes away you may laugh but in 10 years it may become truth put all of your money in bitcoin oh yeah patriots win super bowl 49 51 and 53 put your life savings on each one put your life savings on the patriots winning super bowl 51 10 minutes into the third quarter you'll be a billionaire i mean serious question though how worried for your life would you be if that bet came through i feel like you would quickly become a target for some kind of hit job from those weird eyes wide shut american elites for the love of god don't stop drinking it'll destroy you i would tell this to myself 10 years ago is the appropriate time i was in 12th grade my son was 12 10 years ago he died unexpectedly just three weeks ago i would say look out for him even harder than you do now god i miss him i'm really sorry you're going through this that's a terrible thing to have to face get a therapist eight-year-olds are not normally depressed when i was a kid i remember describing the feeling as the happiness running out because i didn't know what depression was i only told a close friend my age instead of my parents i wish i knew better than i used to describe it as the black feeling in my chest because i just felt sad and empty but eight years old me didn't understand that that wasn't normal i would just breathe heavy into the phone in an attempt to creep myself out and start telling your past self about murders natural disasters and mass shootings that will happen poor sucker will lose his [ __ ] do not meet him i repeat do not meet him start ignoring him now plot twist he is the guy on the phone keep sticking your dong in crazy it will all work out relax and enjoy you're worthy of the experience about 10 years ago i got my job at google and the worst part of the experience were my insecurities i was a 49 year old ancient by google standards self-taught programmer i got my non-programming degree from a backwoods school but to make up for it i got really really crappy grades i had no big day to experience and at the time i hadn't programmed in any of google's four development languages c plus python java and javascript add all this to my normal insecurities and i really felt like i was outclassed by everyone else at the company i spent every day expecting to be fired for gross incompetence that's no way to go through life the experience would have been so much better if i just ignored my insecurities i still would have been dumbest ducking programmer at google but i would have at least been much much happier how in god green earth did you get hired no seriously that place is a genius factory with very deep moats enjoy that hair while you still can dude you're hella gay there saved you years wasted on denial you're welcome don't be such a ducking beach when you grow up and start a youtube channel don't move to the coast it ends horribly and you'll get stabbed put down the drugs you'll regret it in five years go to the dentist that [ __ ] is important go see your nanny she dies in two years and you'll miss her more than you realize don't drink at your mom's wedding she still loves you but hot damn you hurt her be nice to your sister she's going through a lot too she won't tell you but she needs you most importantly go back to school eliza get your education you'll need it when you're 21 year old single mom struggling to support yourself and a toddler jinx i can practically smell the regret emanating from that wedding story put some money in the bank and don't touch it stop [ __ ] your money away on weed and psychedelics people suck so mind your business invest and for the love of god quit fast food and get on a diet get divorced just do it you'll be so much happier would have saved me 10 years it's going to get a lot worse but it will get better in like nine years stop cutting go to a therapist dump him he is cheating on you and you damn well know it and for duck's sake seek help for your eating disorder hey me this will sound crazy but don't go into teaching i know you like it but after your first real job that depression you've been aware of since you were 12 will only get way worse and will multiply the suicidal thoughts you are going to love your co-workers and adored your classes but it is honestly not worth it oh and talk to the doctor about the getting locked up inside negative thought patterns and feeling almost like an alien in your own body they can help with the eating disorder because eating like you do is an eating disorder and the feeling almost detached thing yep undiagnosed asperger's getting diagnosed won't change much it is only going to help you understand why you feel so alien and it is going to help you accept that you don't have to be perfect try to get happy you're gonna be a teen dad good luck your friends will leave you your girlfriend will leave you your job doesn't matter don't waste your time and energy on people that will forget about you in 10 years do something for yourself do it because you want to do it not because you hope other people will like you for it live like you mean it forget the haters you don't have much time spend as much time as you possibly can with him because in 15 months you're going to lose him i'm 22 so i tell my 12 year old self to watch soccer and play soccer as much as you can get a ducking 4.0 in college what's really good that foggy you're finally coming out of remember that feeling freedom it hurts to feel a part of you is missing but fully finding yourself is worth it put yourself first dad's dying in 2012 murdered this can be avoided don't let him go out on the 13th of july sister's going to kill herself in 2013. get her therapy asap whoa you made it to the end you're a ducking beast i'll cut you a deal smash like and subscribe for more curated content bruh it's free and that's a great price [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Sir Reddit

Views: 13,119

Rating: 4.9856629 out of 5

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Id: 92ZR8d-UW3Y

Length: 9min 34sec (574 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 20 2021