If You’re Not Feeling Loved

[Music] hi my name is father mike schmitz and this is ascension presents so i was speaking with someone recently and they shared a bit of their story and a bit of the story was was really painful and the painful part was um they have a sibling and um say two brothers right and their their dad uh clearly loved one of their brothers and didn't love them one of his brothers right is it two brothers one was loved by their dad and the other one was like yeah he doesn't even he seems like every time he tries to talk to me it is a struggle for him but he has this great relationship with my brother and i just it hurts me every time that i just uh it's clear to me that my dad doesn't love me um what do i do because they were saying it hurts every time what do i do you know what this could be different between guys and their dads or moms and women and their and their dads and moms and it could be kind of a different situation so i i want to kind of hopefully address that at least a little bit but i think the first thing to understand is um there are times just like i just this isn't helpful but it's reality there are times when the people who are supposed to love us just don't love us there's also times when the people who um are supposed to love us well don't love us well and there's also times when people who are supposed to love us love us but they don't love us in the way we want them to love us i'm going to start with that one just because it's kind of the lowest hanging fruit there are times when um people who love us they love us but we they don't love us how we want and here's what i mean i remember talking with a student who she had said that um she would have gone home for some kind of a break we had it on campus and she just was lamenting this this uh i believe that her dad didn't actually love her and i said well tell me more about this she said he didn't spend any time with me he didn't talk with me he didn't ask me how my time at school has been he didn't like you know all these things she really wanted to do with her dad he didn't make any time to do them with her in fact she said that you know i got home and you know he said hello and was very polite and really he was happy to see me seemed like it but then he left i'm like oh okay you know did he have something to do yeah i mean he went outside and and he like went through my car took my car to the to the vacuum place and like vacuumed it out and then he was out in the garage like he he jacked it up and he was uh taking up the changing my oil and he's all these kind of things and like i'm just like dad i'm here what the heck and i was able to point this out as she was describing like oh wait a second it is clear your dad loves you what do you mean he didn't spend time with me but what did he do you got home he greeted you all these kind of things and then he went out and started caring for you like he cleaned your car he changed your oil he did the things that he knew he could do right like there are some people that we just we don't know how to love others well or we don't know how to love in the way that they can receive it it's called like the five love languages right gary chapman i should make a video about that because it comes up all the time she wanted quality time with her dad she wanted words of affirmation with between her and her dad where he says the words i love you my beloved daughter with his mouth but he was saying that entire time i love you my beloved daughter with his actions anyways back to our story here is this person who's like man my dad doesn't love me not like he loves my brother with my brother it's so easy and here's the thing that's a reality that's gonna be the case some people find it easy to love me and some people find it difficult to love me my guess is this is the truth for you too that some people will find it easy to love you and some people will find it more difficult to love you because you just have more things in common with them because you think the same way because you kind of have the same disposition that for some you will be incredibly easy to love for others not so much it's possible this might not be the case but it's possible that just when it comes to your dad and your brother they just have more in common they just have the ability to kind of relate to each other in a way that is just easier that doesn't mean that um this is the kiss is key it does mean that your dad is limited and if this is your mom like you're watching us listening to this and you're like well that's my mom and i that that just means your mom's limited here's what it doesn't mean it doesn't mean that you're unlovable this is so key and you have to i just invite you please receive this please hear this the fact that someone finds it difficult to love you or i would say like someone finds it yeah it's difficult to love you that doesn't mean you're unlovable that doesn't mean that you are inherently intrinsically who you are is hard to love now it just means that we're walking around in a world full of a bunch of people with small hearts a bunch of people with broken hearts we don't know how to love people that we don't automatically connect with we don't know how to love people that just kind of like oh it's just i don't know what to talk about with them yes and sometimes those people are going to be our parents sometimes those people are going to be our siblings sometimes those people are going to be our roommates we moved in with like wait a second we should have this kind of relationship we don't have an i and i'm brokenhearted by this like that's just the case it doesn't mean you are unlovable it just means that there are some people who just can't love everyone well and sometimes those people we call them mom and sometimes with people we call them dad and sometimes here's moms and dads sometimes those people are called your kids because it goes both ways right it goes both ways there are so many parents who are like i just try to do everything for my kids and i just don't have the sense that they love me back this could be the case for any one of us that doesn't mean you are unlovable but also doesn't mean that we need to go down the road to trying to win someone's love there's a story in the bible in the old testament about um a woman who was absolutely unloved well absolutely but she was quite unloved her name was leah um leah was the older sister to rachel um and jacob wanted to marry rachel rachel was the beautiful one leah was the plain one rachel was the one who captivated jacob's heart and leah was the one that when jacob had worked seven long years for rachel's father laban it was promised to marry rachel that on the wedding day the father instead made jerry jacob marry leah um jacob didn't find out about this until the next day she heavily veiled that it was dark et cetera et cetera et cetera jacob's willing to work for another seven years for laban to be able to marry rachel and then when they have this fantastic phenomenal relationship of this one man married to two sisters what happens what happens is what we'd all expect to happen jacob loved rachel he did not love leah the story unfolds and says that but but leah could have children in that in that culture that was a sign of great blessing or sign of great favor but jacob still didn't love leah even though rachel couldn't give jacob any any sons leah could give jacob all these all these sons jacob still didn't give leah his heart in fact you have this desperation in how leah names her children the name of leah's first son was reuben she named him reuben with the words see i have a son now my husband will love me second child's name was simeon leah was saying yeah now god heard that i was hated the third child was named levi and that name levi is the lord had heard that i have a son and now my husband will love me you this desperation and these first three sons that leah has like i have this son now he will love me i have the son now he'll love me i can do this. and now he'll love me and she was waiting on his love at some point something must have happened in leah where she realized i can't do this i can't live life like this i can't keep waiting for the person i would like to love me to love me so leah had their fourth son his name was judah and judah means may god be praised no longer is she in the competition no longer she trying to fight for this man's love she's like no i know who loves me already and this is the key for all of us there are going to be people in our lives even parents even family members even close close people to us who do not love us like they should do not love us like we want them to and we can fight for their love we can try to convince them to love us better we can we can even accuse ourselves of being unlovable that's not wise what's wise is to say that's just the case this is might be the case that it just because of their small heart or broken heart they don't love me like they should and they don't love me like i want but there is a father in heaven who loves me and make this statement i am not going to wait for another person to give me what the father has already given me i'm not going for another person to give me love when the father in heaven has already given me love i'm not gonna wait for the f for another person to give me to tell me that you are worthy and you are lovable and you are desired and you are inestimable and you are are chosen i'm not gonna wait for that because the father has already spoken over you and he has said you're worthy and you're lovable and you're chosen don't wait for another person to give you what the father has already given you like leah you don't have to fight for their love you can say judah may god be praised for all of us here ascension presents my name is father mike god bless [Music] you

Channel: Ascension Presents

Views: 106,793

Rating: 4.967732 out of 5

Keywords: loved, unloved, unrequited love, heartbreak, Leah, Rachel, Jacob, if you’re not feeling loved, Judah, Reuben, Simeon, Levi, line of Judah, tribes of Israel, may God be praised, Ascension Press, Ascension Presents, Catholic Faith formation, being loved, Fr. Mike Schmitz, Fr. Michael Schmitz, Father Mike, Fr. Schmitz, Fr. Mike Channel, Fr. Mike on not being loved, when love seems broken, love languages, unloveable, god’s love, relationship advice, feeling unloved, self love

Id: Jqb-k4o-kBE

Length: 10min 0sec (600 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 19 2020