I Went to Prison Repeatedly Due to Bad Life Choices - Nirvana

all right so we're back with the only game where you can die at age five from your heart exploding because you're a psychopath it's Nirvana or psychopathic fetuses damn it the last time I managed to kill for different people in 75 years that's probably gonna happen again if I can live a little bit longer and find out what the hell the choices are from being an elderly person that's fine too but we need to die in more stupid ways our name is Tiffany Martinez Tiffany Martinez I'm sorry I just realized that the one choice when there's a package that came for your mom and it's a box full of rubbery flappy colorful swords there's actually options for this including I'll let my parents give them to me when they think I'm ready and I want to play with them all I don't want the used rubbery flappy colorful swords later on in life both of these options are awful okay you've had enough now don't you think these round-tip vibrating swords are mine or I'll put them back in the box the round tip vibrating sorcerer arms now God you were too happy my previous record was I think five years old so I'm pretty impressed that I managed to get there at three my last words were these round tip vibrating swords are mine now that is awful what in the hell my name is Maximo the exterminator that's the best name I've ever had in my life what is this you were born to a cult of assassins sounds exciting but in fact it provides a very gloomy childhood this is the best life a child could possibly have we need to try and live to the end I told myself I would probably never drink this strawberry milkshake but in the rare instance that I'm born as an assassin I've got to do it your pacifier fell on the floor while you were crying your mother quickly pushed it back into your mouth without cleaning it I'm an assassin okay a little hepatitis never hurt anyone spit it in her face mmm tastes like a Maximo the exterminator baked your assassin arts master is showing you how to catch a grasshopper what does it mean I need to be smart and strong enough not to be caught I need to be agile and deadly enough to catch bullets with my hands I need to catch bullets what the hell that was the right answer Nietzsche got him seven years old and a ninja I'm like Naruto except a lot more felonious looking it's time to practice on your breathing while running inhale four three steps and exhale for two what the hell could the answers be here seems pointless I'm almost dead from hell so I actually have to do this some bullies are chasing you for no reason you must do something I think we know what to do please let me kill them sit on a bench next to some stranger's boring slide into the shadows the kid is trying to steal your toy that is a bad idea get you filthy hands off sharing is good sharing is not good mom made you healthy spinach soup it smells like a dead corpse considering I belong to a cult of assassins it could be dead body this is how mothers get their kids to become cannibals it fits better inside the toilet bowl than in my body I have survived school cafeteria food I can survive this too another assassin is trying to kill you thus is the life of Maximo the exterminator jump counter to disarm aah jump you succeeded to grab his hand in which he was holding a knife pull or push I feel like if I pull him gonna stab myself so I'll push Oh God you stabbed him in the neck he won't be coming for you again got my first kill at 17 you got kicked out of your apartment it's cold on the streets you need to find a place to stay before it starts to rain I'm an assassin I'm at home in the rain a cardboard box a homeless shelter oh I gotta stay alive I guess I'll go to the homeless shelter you found a great cardboard box although it belongs to another vagrant that seems a bit crazy I have killed men for less this is my home now big let's share and become roommates yes you managed to make a great home out of it and started a new trend for cheap apartments which are made out of cardboard boxes your assassination targets bodyguards are coming after you fight them off or throw a smoke grenade I guess I'll throw the smoke grenade your assassination target is offering to give you more money if you let him go I'd do it for the money I'd do it for fun you're goddamn right I do your mother wants to have a plastic surgery and her birthday's coming up what do you make her beautiful again a waste of money scientific freak God I'll do anything for my mother's happiness normally I wouldn't but my socials getting kind of low and I want to be a geriatric assassin there's an old woman crossing the street and your car is having a sudden brake failure what will you do the same thing we do in every situation tail steer the car to the side dad isn't correct honk the horn uh-huh congratulations you've killed a person is that number three you were found guilty by the court you got sent to prison goddamn it you'll never catch me alive how did I get myself into this mess I'm a ninja you got caught alive one of the prison met lost sollars is asking if you want to join a gang I don't want to get involved in anything violent I'm pretty sure I'm already involved in something violent I've always wanted to be part of a gang the gang leader watch it smuggle Samara when this life is amazing I'm not letting anything go inside of my ass I'll do it of course I will the gang leader is pleased with your contribution he now wants you to whack someone from a rival gang I've been doing this since I was 1 year old the guards caught you fighting and sent you to the hole you've been surrounded by darkness for several weeks isn't it driving you crazy I'm pretty sure I got like the one skill ability that says that I'm part of the darkness I've been doing a lot of thinking lately get me out of here the guards are throwing your lunch on the floor they want to see you eat like an animal where the hell am I I'm an animal I'm a hunger strike I've got to stay alive you finished serving your sentence your free to go I don't know how I made it out of that alive your microwave is no longer microwaving I'll just sell it as an unsafe safe your oven is no longer of inang what is where's my house in fact how do I even have a house I was in a cardboard box maybe my cardboard box is leaking and this is why none of my works anymore I'll just sell it as a small closet so um no matter what I pick here I'm gonna die so I guess I'll go with the small closet oh no you were too happy you've been cheerfully singing to yourself while crossing the street and haven't noticed the coming truck that hit you máximo the exterminator aged 39 máximo the exterminator has died at the age of 39 due to being an idiot when it comes to numbers the last words I'll just sell it as a small closet are like the best out of context words okay we're now clear the exterminator Claire is like the worst name for an assassin what are the chances of being an assassin twice I don't know this is like a good rare like winning the lottery or a bad rare like I don't know gonorrhea or something a stranger approached you with some very tasty looking candies they're poisoned aren't they I'm going to get a ducted aren't I actually I'm already abducted a part of a group of assassins whatever give me the candy okay I'm a Creed's assassin this time I'm strong and agile with special training crowded areas like fish markets the boy you like from school told you that you've got a bloody stain on your pants listen I'm an artist you call it blood I call it human paint I have to go home and change absolutely it means I'm ready to pitch this macing no I have decided never to talk to you again of course he wouldn't another assassin is trying to kill you we did this before last time we evade it but this time was strong you succeeded in grabbing his hand you stabbed him in the neck you've noticed that your beautiful eyebrows go to the one big eyebrow Claire the exterminator cares not about her unibrow it's beautiful like a Frida Kahlo painting there's a lecture by some unknown guy who explains how to get rich easily want to sign up why I spent half of my life as an assassin dealing with like finance stuff it's a scam I should invest in the stock market shut up and take my money my move to getting a little high so why not uh it increased my mood he says all you need to do is sell his amazing one-of-a-kind product to other people knowing this game is it those damn floppy swords I love this I've wasted all my time on a pyramid scheme or this is an amazing product sure I made money what the hell how about a new haircut if I do this am I gonna die you came across a haunted house you feel oddly drawn to go inside too scary maybe I'll get to see a real ghost when your last name is the exterminator you go into the goddamn haunted house oh Jesus you're standing in a dusty living room there's a rotting stench in the air let's see what's in the kitchen I've got to use the bathroom we're going to the kitchen the kitchen is full of cockroaches they seem to come from upstairs seems smart to follow the cockroach trail I remembered I have to go to the bathroom we're following the cockroaches there's a hallway with only two rooms which will you go into one with the cockroaches the guest room the master bedroom sure the master there's only a small candle in the room strange it is lit we're about to get our throat sliced aren't we pick it up blow it out crap I'm an assassin's Creed ninja I'm not good at like the dark I need the light I'm picking it up I found yourself outside the haunted house feeling 10 years older goddamnit on a sidenote I'm about to make it longer than I've ever made because like you know I've advanced 10 years in the future do you have a new neighbor why don't you welcome him to the neighborhood this is the first time that I've only killed like one person as an assassin now I hate him already all right the bodyguards are coming after us again the last time we threw the smoke grenade this time we're gonna fight him your air conditioner is no longer air conditioning this is what killed me the last time I'll get it fixed I'll just paint it over and sell it as an art piece it's gonna kill me again oh no Castell your refrigerator is no longer refrigerating what will you do I'll sell it as coffee I don't even care what the other option is I can't repair it absolutely not alright the old woman's crossing this time I'll steer to the side you hit a traffic light and smashed your head the windshield so the options were killing the woman which we had already done and then giving myself a concussion you want to treat yourself to a new handbag which brand will it be hello puppy for Michael Cox really game couldn't even go the CEO X fruit we're picking this your parents are getting a divorce and your mother is planning to move in with you I'm 50 years old how old are my assasin parents I'm surprised they were still together after all this time I could use his company no way you're not living with me mother a Girl Scout is asking if you want to buy cookies donations will go towards the kids hooked on mobile games foundation go outside and play with the other kids it's a very important cause we're getting pretty far in life here so I guess I'll buy the damn cookies how about joining a yoga class let me get my yoga pants I can't even reach my feet when I need to put on socks I think we need to do yoga because I'm about to die free donuts with tooth hurts maybe it's time to visit a dentist I'm not paying someone to torture me I have to visit them because it's the only way to stay alive we're almost 60 a naked hitchhiker is trying to catch a ride will you help him absolutely poor guy seems kinda lost he had said someone stole all of his clothes and left him here he's far away from his home and it's getting dark lucky you you managed to hitch a ride with an assassin named Claire I'll take him to the gas station I'll invite him to stay at my place I have to pick this he might try to steal something you can keep an eye on him if you both sleep in the same bed he can dream of this while sleeping on the couch a slumber party will be awesome he had spent a wonderful night together then the next day he made sure to pay you for your trouble what the hell he was actually a good person the shmoo go corporation wants to hire you for an assassination mission as part of their old people need work to program I'm glad that at 65 I'm still getting assassination jobs a tool for this my hips can take it you're damn right they can your parents passed away and left you with a large inheritance wait did they get divorced or not what are you planning to do with it spend it safe expended your dad has been found naked in the middle of the highway maybe you should put him in a nursing home didn't he die it's just his way of saying thank you to the world that's it dad you've lost it nope that's the one a man is proposed to you he must really like you I'm a 79 year old assassin how did I meet someone who took me 80 years well technically it took me 70 because I spent 10 years in a haunted house I don't want him to put a ring on it I guess I'll get married you have successfully tamed a man you found out that your husband is an assassin on a mission to kill you god damn it I should have known better let's go to marriage counseling that's not how assassins fix their problems not if I get it first you hit someone with your car what will you do Culver an ambulance and pay his medical expenses that's not the right answer you've gotten caught by the police after driving senselessly in circles around the same panic you were found guilty by the court you got sent to prison 81 some man is asking you politely to give him all of your money he has a knife though so you should be careful I have a knife as well I also have arthritis here that's all I have or go yourself yes you beat him up and stole his money are you still a thief if you steal from a thief would you like to sell your timeshare I think I'm about to die your spouse made you a romantic dinner the food looks undercooked Oh didn't I kill him you're peacefully lying in your bed and suddenly cold and darkness are starting to surround you howdy it's me death it's been a long time since I last saw you too long actually died just because I wouldn't stop living before I take your body I will let you ask me one question choose wisely can you let me keep living I got a different question is he smoking a cigarette what are the other questions do you like your job okay can you tell me a joke uh-huh what is the meaning of life do you like your job does anyone really like their job it's just a way to make a living ha I made a joke that was bad even for death not funny good one you literally died from the hands of death himself he choked you to death I actually got killed by the Grim Reaper that's like the best way for an assassin that in the war I like it says I was a good wife when I tried to kill my husband Claire the exterminator died at age 94 due to being a stupid person who makes stupid decisions death just got lucky if I was 60 years younger I would've beat his ass anyway folks hope you enjoyed this episode Ravana until next time stay foxy much love

Channel: GrayStillPlays

Views: 3,802,650

Keywords: Simulation Games, graystillplays, gray still plays, greystillplays, simulator, tycoon funny, simulator funny moments, funny clips, funny moments, game of life, life simulator, life sim, life simulator game, life game, life games, multiple endings, bad choices games, bad choices, life choices game, life choices, bad life choices game, nirvana the game of life, nirvana the game of life endings

Id: PqVrQbAwLfU

Length: 15min 48sec (948 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 26 2019