I watched every ILLUMINATION movie (and what I learned)

this video is sponsored by raycon in an article titled what is hell from rc sproul sproul attempts to answer that question writing hell is an eternity before the righteous ever-burning wrath of god a suffering torment from which there is no escape and no relief understanding this is crucial to our drive to appreciate the work of christ and to preach his gospel by that logic i don't think the experience of watching the films that have come out of illumination entertainment is much different you know i don't like to be negative and talk down on things for the sake of talking down on them even when i poke fun at someone like noah centeneo gaspar noel or a movie like dog's way home i always feel you know a little guilty at the end of the day when you have a platform online you gotta ask yourself what am i achieving here so far i've run into two exceptions one is tom hooper's 2019 film cats and the second is illumination is not only the epitome of bad animation it's the epitome of bad filmmaking i know what you're thinking another cis white man in his 20s on youtube using his platform to shed on content made specifically for children who needs it karsten these movies aren't for you if you can't tell already i know these aren't for me these are for annoying children and parents who have been up since 6am and realized it's noon it's a tuesday i don't know what to do with these kids today so [ __ ] it three tickets for the minions please i don't know how to expand on this but no meal goes better with these movies than the blandest most overpriced amc popcorn amc's popcorn tastes like bed sheets and watching any of these is the visual equivalent i watched all these movies and made a video about it because one it's fun and i hope people enjoy watching it two i've always agreed that watching bad movies is actually pretty good for anyone who wishes to either make films themselves or understand how to critically think about films it's obviously a better time to watch rages of the lost ark and study the technique spielberg used to craft a perfect action movie but it's also beneficial to look at something where you can put your basic knowledge to the test answering why a film doesn't work at all hypothesizing a better alternative and three for two years now i've been shooting on this company but i've never dove deeper into what they've made for example when i reluctantly go to the theater to check out the grinch and come out pleasantly surprised it leaves me wondering maybe they aren't that bad but they are the quote they're just for kids isn't an excuse at a certain point because meet the robinsons is also just for kids and that movie [ __ ] way harder than it has any right to illumination makes bad movies and to explain why i watched all of them and now i'm gonna talk about them what better way to confront something you hate than by soaking yourself in that very content we'll be starting from the top moving down deeper into the fiery pits confronting what are some of the laziest most excruciating films ever animated now watching all these movies would have been absolutely hellish had i not had some comfortable affordable high quality wireless earbuds so with that being said i want to thank raycon earbuds for sponsoring this video raykon sent me their everyday e25 model and i gotta be honest these are some amazing wireless earbuds i really love the design the base on these babies is out of this world and they pair seamlessly with all of my bluetooth devices i've been using them while writing my videos they're super comfortable on long car rides and whenever i want to get a quick trampoline workout in they stay in my ears they have six hours of play time which is perfect for the six hours of backflipping i do on a daily basis they also come in at half the price of other premium wireless earbuds with all these color options you're bound to find a pair that perfectly fits your style and when it comes to fitting your ears they got tons of sizing options so that won't be a problem if you want to get your own pair you can go to buyreicon.com karsten or click on the link in the description to get 15 off your order in 2008 it was announced in a variety article that steve carell would voice the title character in despicable me the first film to come out of illumination universal's family film unit two years later that film hit theaters and we were introduced to the minions and they stuck around for well an entire decade if there's one thing i gotta give illumination credit for it's that they created quite possibly the only thing besides drake that managed to be relevant for the entirety of the 2010s while despicable me would be considered bottom tier for both pixar and dreamworks it's still a pretty solid family flick i say that but at the same time i'll never forget seeing this with my friend in 6th grade and falling asleep 30 minutes in after that screening i was like well i guess i'm just too old for animated movies but no i was so wrong it really is just a lot less interesting than every other animated film out there but all of that aside there's no doubt that this is their best with the premise catering around a villain rather than your typical quote-unquote good guy and it's about him stealing the moon come on that's fun that's original when this came out minions weren't something where you shuddered the minute they popped up on the screen either they were harmless definitely not the best thing about the movie but sure they had some quirk compared to everything else illumination has made despicable me seriously is pretty hard to hate but let me emphasize while this is their best it's nothing to write home about either as i mentioned earlier the grinch is seriously way better than it has any right to be it's absolutely nothing special not even close but for what i was expecting come on to be honest my worst experience with this film wasn't the film at all it was the ad campaigns all over the city of chicago signs like i'm sure you'll catch the next one on train platforms or green and salty just like my nuts or my personal favorite i'm gonna drown you to death in my green [ __ ] it really helped me get into the holiday spirit the argument these are just for kids holds up the best for the grinch and i think part of it has to do with the fact that it's a christmas movie the stupidity of it all and the crude humor that illumination tries so desperately to pull off actually feels fitting for this kind of movie dr seuss's grinch was also one of my favorite things associated with zeus and that said i think this film is pretty respectful towards the whole thing if anything it modernizes and lights up the city in a way that feels like a proper homage but a new perspective all together but once again it is still an illumination movie not because it's obnoxious with its humor which it is but mainly because it's really boring after 20 minutes i've talked about this in the past but adapting children's books that worked because of their brevity and brief sparks of imagination and weirdness into films it just does not translate again i think the grinch definitely comes through stylistically it captures the magic although i will say benedict cumberbatch gives a very odd performance but as far as a narrative goes it needed to do more work as a feature which is a red flag to begin with because if there's one company whose creative input you do not want to hear from it's illumination this is the first film on this list where we start to see a huge flaw in illuminations catalog that happens way too often and no i'm not talking about sequels there is barely a plot in a lot of these movies and when there is a plot it's either insanely generic or insanely disjointed despicable me 2 is a very boring and unengaging movie charming sure but also debatable no film has ever made it more obvious that it is only here because its predecessor made a shitload of money there's nothing new or exciting happening in this movie there's barely any development there's way more minions it's like barely a step up in any way seeing as though the first film was pretty solid and entertaining this isn't the worst issue despicable me as a franchise isn't irritating yet but this film definitely makes you question why this of all animated films is getting milked as hard as it is the whole appeal of the first one is grew bad but maybe he learned to be good now he good so why movie i don't care about him saying goyles again it didn't need to happen because it's so lost it really is just a collection of gags rather than a story it'll take 10 minutes to set up an annoying joke that isn't bad just irritating and it'll do that just to fill time i'll put it this way i fell asleep three different times while watching this movie i will never return to it so their most recent film is the secret life of pets 2 released in 2019. it's hard to talk about this in this order without mentioning so much about the first there's also not a huge point seeing as though these two films kind of just blend together the biggest difference is the voice actor for max was replaced the guy who voiced him beforehand did some bad icky stuff so they replaced him with the rat from ratatouille definitely one of the better choices illumination has made and seeing as though max is a very generic main character it really didn't make a difference secret life of pets is like such an easy win financially even i almost fell for the cuteness of some of these pets max while generic is very lovable and kevin hart as the bunny was awful but again i can't deny how cute the bunny looked sometimes people are gonna see this no matter what that said it makes sense for celebrities to sign on to something that's profitable which is why this movie is absolutely stacked you have pat and oswalt kevin hart jenny slate tiffany haddish bobby moynihan hannibal burris nick krull pete holmes and harrison ford harrison ford is in this movie and he does a great job why is this dog the role this guy was born to play who do you play what is that players for dogs this and the first film aren't too different in my opinion but this is definitely a slight improvement for one i think so much of the appeal of these films is just watching pets be goofy and cute and this one embraced that away more than the first it feels like it says just a little something about dogs just just a little bit of meaning a wee bit but as a film it simply just does not work at all for the same reasons that the first one doesn't so let's just get right into that let me take you back to the summer of 2016. things were great everyone was hanging out together playing pokemon go meeting strangers straight was at the top of his game at this point nobody knew he was a creep you could listen to one dance guilt free the summer 2016 olympics were in full effect ryan lochte was getting himself in some mess amidst all that was a mediocre movie season i mean we got stuck with suicide squad and the ghostbusters remake the bfg in the middle of a very eventful summer illumination dropped the secret life of pets and everyone was like yeah sure the secret life of pets is just a shittier toy story and that's not the first time i'm gonna mention that in this list like so much of the appeal of toy story isn't the idea that toys are different when they're alone it's the relationship between woody and andy the attachment of it all in secret life of pets i don't even know what this person's name is at first i really didn't mind secret life of pets i actually found it to be one of the better films to come out of this company but then kevin hart shows up and everything comes crashing down it's like you blink and all of a sudden they're in a wiener fantasy there is no film franchise as disjointed and as narratively incoherent as the secret life of pets both the sequel and this first film are such a headache to follow why because there are so many [ __ ] pets it's like the avengers but they're throwing us right into infinity war and we have no idea who any of these animals are we don't care and they only have 90 minutes to work with which is actually such a drag i'm convinced these movies are as boring and as messy and as chaotic as they are because they needed to fill time so they were like uh let's just throw hannibal burris in i mean dude the quote-unquote secret life of these pets isn't even that crazy they just talk to one another why couldn't they have like an underground drug operation or something just stir the pot because of this because of your lack of attachment because a movie can't rely on cuteness secret life of pets may not be the worst but it is most certainly one of the most boring i will give it this it's got a pretty nice jazzy score from none other than alexander display and the use of light in the animation is definitely more interesting than it is in the other illumination films conceptually it could have been fun and harmless and cute it could have been a murder mystery apparently but oh well at least jenny slate got a nice check out of this despicable me 3 was the last film in this marathon so i automatically went in not happy but i didn't hate myself enough to not recognize this as once again not the worst thing in the world i'll come right out and say it but this film feels wildly unnecessary go figure at the moment it holds your attention and it does flow nicely which may feel like the lowest bar you can go with a film but trust me that's better than most these films can do it just grinds my gears how effortless this film is there isn't any attempt to do anything new or special just bust out another despicable me movie and build that sweet and saucy lore to fuel 50 more of these films i mean maybe i'm missing something but here's what i realized like halfway through this from what i can tell between this and the secret life of pets and [ __ ] it let's throw sing in there i think they're trying to sculpt the cinematic universe with these guys i mean i think they're trying to avengers the damn thing and as soon as they start feeling stale and stop making over a billion dollars which clearly isn't stopping anytime soon they'll morph these together into a shitty shared universe thing that'll go on for who knows how long i mean gru does appear in the secret life of pets and so does sing i guess does that mean saying the movie exists in that universe maybe that debunks the theory but anyways despicable me 3 introduces drew gru's twin brother it would have been hilarious if steve carell did his normal voice for drew i know it wouldn't make a lot of sense but it would have been more interesting than him literally doing the same voice the villain in this movie could not be less interesting his personality is i've been a bad boy which is always like kind of weirdly sexual he's barely given any backstory or character arc he's literally just one of the many generic villains in these movies illumination treats despicable me like it's their toy story see there's the other one it was their breakout hit it works it makes money people love the characters and they think there's a universe to work with they don't understand that there isn't there just is not a universe to work with here the despicable me franchise is what the toy story franchise would have been if pixar ignored the why questions and also just dragged the martians out to death i mean seriously come to think of it the minions are just shittier martians but that why question is something most animated films try to answer why does this mean that why does that character do that pixar dreamworks leica the best animation studios always explore reason through accessible entertaining animation illumination does not bother they just come with a bland story that could work for any modern blockbuster film and they plug their characters into it which is why even if they did have a universe worth exploring they aren't doing anything about it it's just gru getting himself into situations where he has to fight the bad guy the twist is gru is also a bad guy but that's the end of that idea plus after the first movie once again he's not a bad guy so it's what's the point now of course they could do something like family and the influence your past has on your present and how that influences personality and growth just some really basic themes of self-actualization but hey it's illumination just the very thought of having anything remotely meaningful and sustainable for a younger audience is completely thrown out the door one because it takes work and two because why spill all your beans in one good movie when you can spread a teaspoon of significance across 50 and make a shitload of money from here on out i really hate these movies i always had a distaste for illumination because of the minions but never had a concrete reason to be against their films i was always like they're annoying but they're not bad but in 2018 when i had to suffer through the lorax for my dr seuss video i realized okay these suck i mean where to even begin with the lorax i think there are three big things worth mentioning here one unlike the grinch the lorax takes a steamy dump on everything that makes the original book so lovable and important i'm not even talking about the message of the story yet i'm talking stylistically the lorax film is so bland so flat so hideous it's the loopy design of the original illustrations that makes the world of the story feel immersive and unique there isn't a dr seuss book that brings me into its setting quite like the lorax while open and abstract to an extent it's also incredibly detailed it's rich with color and texture which is essential to making you feel like you're a part of this world this movie animation wise is barely a step up from the 2006 film dougal i cannot think of a lazier more uninteresting approach to an adaptation i don't know what the alternative is though but there's a weirdness to the original that i don't see in this movie the book always felt like kind of an outsider of dr seuss's work it was always a bit more mature and wasn't afraid to maybe break the rules and be its own thing but the lorax film stylistically is trying to be the most accessible thing possible there's nothing outside of the box about this all i'm saying is just being colorful is not enough two the message is completely lost i mean seriously why even make the damn thing if you're gonna completely ignore the lorax's original critique on consumerism and how we're destroying the environment why are you making the film to give you some backstory in order to promote this film illumination decided to sneak the lorax and its characters into different ad campaigns one of them was a mazda for a gas powered suv they came out and defended that this specific suv was very fuel efficient and a solid alternative for those who can't afford electric cars but really you're going to call a gas powered suv truffle tree approved this wasn't even the end of it they also partnered with ihop whole foods hp pottery barn kids and way more for a story about how consumerism nearly wiped out the world where these characters live it's just a bit silly how universal spent 50 million dollars in product placement on the lorax of all films sure nobody watching this is going to actively destroy the environment even more because of the movie maybe this modern film adaptation will encourage a younger generation to treat the environment a bit better i guess but it's also just so aggressively tone deaf it's hard to take any of this to heart from the company behind the minions three lastly how could i talk about the lorax without talking about the once-ler now i don't think the once-ler made the movie worse by any means but it's certainly the most fascinating thing to come out of this film so i have to bring it up for anyone who is unaware of the once-ler for anyone who wasn't on tumblr he's the villain of the film who almost brings down an entire ecosystem out of pure greed nothing too crazy typical villain but when this film brought him out of the shadows and he became a real person in a sense a specific group of people on tumblr grew obsessed with him like an insanely dedicated fandom user super high school level doojan author has an essay commentary on this fandom where he writes if you check the patterns you'll see that the immediate characters and ships that everyone gravitates towards in any fandom are the most conventionally attractive guys that tend to be at the center of the work but occasionally slightly off to the side but the problem with the lorax is that there really is only one character that fit that mold the young once-ler so in a furious attempt to create something out of nothing one cest was born the idea of shipping the young innocent one slur shown in the film's early sequences with his slightly older but still pretty more evil self that is portrayed in the how bad can i be number but what about the people who don't like that dynamic what is there for them just one guy again au's upon au's spawn for the million possible variations of one character and shipping them with the original and then shipping them with each other and ignoring the original and then creating alternate versions of those that are so wildly different from the original canon that they might as well be something else entirely and it just became this huge auroboris of fandom desperately trying to justify its own existence that was inevitably doomed to basically eat itself oh that was a lot to say as you can tell it was a huge thing and i could go on for another 20 minutes on what this fandom was it was a huge deal but we have three other movies to talk about so in short while the lorax was one of the most boring uninspired and toxic films to come out of the last decade we sure did have some fun with it kind of tough to go from the lorax to hop because while hop is a much worse movie i really don't have as much to say about it hop was illumination's second film and it is from what i know their only live action film or partially live action and thank [ __ ] for that every bit of live action footage reminds me of something you'd see on the hallmark channel and all that animated footage is what's the word ugly so when those two combine in the third act you get something that looks like the worst case scenario for a robert rodriguez film when we boil it down as far as a james martin driving in a car with a small animated creature universe goes this is probably the worst i guess we'll start there james marston is the only good and likable actor in this movie i seriously can't think of a more unlikable and irritating voice for this bunny than russell brand i mean for [ __ ] sake the tagline is candy chicks and rock and roll who out there was like you know what the world is missing an animated easter movie centered around a rock and roll bunny this movie would have been fine and passable had it been released in like 2005 but seeing as though it came out in 2011 it deserves to be [ __ ] on as you can tell i really don't have a lot of concrete reasons to hate this i just do it's annoying it's corny it's not funny it's dated it's hop seriously that's the best title you could come up with hop so here it is minions the one we've all been waiting for at the end of despicable me there's a post credit scene where the minions are auditioning for something it's that exact moment after a sequel that didn't need to happen where we as a society collectively said why did we let this happen that was illumination's way of announcing this new minion solo movie and two years later it really did happen here's what i'll say it could be a lot worse like it could be a lot worse but don't get it twisted this is still a chore to get through minions like literally every other movie on this list does not start off horribly that is of course if we're ignoring the universal logo screen being sung by the minions themselves this one really does feel like a slow descent into hell but moving past that as soon as they really start to establish this is a prequel and origin story for the minions you're like okay interesting i can appreciate the self-awareness it's going for but after let's say 10 minutes you are already more than done with watching this the plot centers around the minions bob stewart and kevin trying to find a leader or boss or whatever it's just it's such a shitty way to start the movie i do not care if these three creatures who do nothing but annoy everyone find their boss but so they eventually go to villaincon where they meet stacy overkill i think that's her name stacy is definitely the most boring villain the company has ever made the only thing she really has going for is her dress which is a rocket so they like join her but then she turns on them because they accidentally do better or something and there's a fight and then they just happen to meet gru out of total luck in short as a prequel this [ __ ] sucks we really learn nothing new about the minions the story with susan overkill is completely unnecessary to the events that follow after this film all i'm asking is what was this accomplishing they rely entirely on small easter eggs that rather than being used creatively or just kind of like oh we need to fill space with more bodies in the background so let's make one of those bodies young grew it's just lazy and boring even someone who does like the minions can't admit this is a good time because it really just feels like the same joke over and over again with no progression whatsoever and an unconvincing plot this really feels like a giant montage of silly minion moments that you'd find on youtube not a movie and lastly we have sing sing is i'm serious but it's everything i despise in a movie wrapped into one if you've ever been to navy pier in chicago or the mall of america in minnesota or hollywood boulevard in l.a this is the equivalent of those locations just gross shallow personality-less garbage soaked in formulaic pop music [ __ ] that screams this only exists to pass time i don't have that much against this kind of pop music seriously that's not the issue here if you enjoy this music i get it dynamite by tayo cruz it kinda [ __ ] some of it is pretty catchy it's the fact that this movie just uses something like billboard hits something already based on a boring formulaic plastic structure to fuel emotion if this film is ever engaging to you it's not because of the movie it's because you're connecting with a song that already existed beforehand it's like kidzbop as a film as a movie there's really nothing relatable or inspiring about it every story beat is insanely cliched and has been done to death this is doing close to nothing to reinvent the wheel it's barely using the wheel to begin with they were like okay so what is going to separate singh from literally every other movie about making it in the business well they're animals if you replace these characters with humans you'd lose cuteness for the kids that's it if you want to see funny animal gags and you're a kid go watch zootopia or even chicken little look how shitty the poster is they're making a second one and look at that poster what could possibly happen in sing too that's my question where are we going from here but karsten it's a kids movie they don't need to reinvent the wheel they don't need to be clever they don't want to make anything more than passable and sugary and long enough to kill an afternoon you're right that is not a joke exactly what i think illumination's goal was with sing to make some cash entertain some kids sugar coated in shallow music to convince them they are being inspired when in reality you're just playing firework by katy perry the one thing you'll leave this film with that you didn't have before is i'm still standing by elton john stuck in your head it is a soulless 100 minutes and a waste of potential in a time where the biggest animated films are coming from like four companies one of which is nowhere near as financially successful as the other three it just hurts to know that this is the movie where the money and the talent and the exposure is going something that i cannot emphasize enough will not do anything for anybody watching any illumination movie is seriously like walking into a mall chris melidandry walked into a macy's once and was like you you feel what i'm feeling you hear that sam smith song playing in the background i'm gonna make an entire production company based on this feeling and it's gonna make billions of dollars and lower the bar for animation in ways you've never seen the expectations everyone over the age of 10 has for illumination is on the floor but they still rake in a lot of money and with minions 2 the rise of grew happening next summer there really is no end in sight i went into this video thinking i hated illumination because of the cringiness the obnoxiousness because of how absolutely tone deaf they seem but hey if i'm gonna be honest my mind is completely changed i still really don't like what they do but not because of any of that it's because they're really taking up space with shallow lazy work they're like the nav of the film industry they're producing candy but unlike your favorite candies nothing is there to keep you coming back for more children who grew up with these movies aren't going to grow up and look back at them as a glimpse of childhood because there is nothing to grab onto nothing reached their minds when they first saw it it flew by in bright colors pharrell songs fart jokes and white backdrops a charm that relies on simplicity and stupidity and completely ignores any sense of heart with all that said thanks for watching go watch these films and form your own opinion don't forget to check out raycon and i'll see you guys in the next [Music] you

Channel: Karsten Runquist

Views: 1,838,041

Keywords: Illumination, Movies, Film, Filmmaking, Animation, Funny, Comedy, Despicable Me, Minions, Secret Life of Pets, Sing, The Grinch, The Lorax, Hop, Steve Carrell, Danny Devito, Bad, Rant, Explained, Marathon, In one day, in minutes, Let me Explain, Breakdown, Ranked, List, Review, Analysis, Analyzed, Deep, New, Youtube, 2020, Video essay, Karsten Runquist, Onceler

Id: ZYq-CjNLYdQ

Length: 24min 54sec (1494 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 15 2020