-My name's Anthony Padilla. Today, I'll be spending a day
with formerly Amish to learn the truth about
growing up in a strict community closed off from the rest of society
who reject modern conveniences like most electricity, running water,
and indoor plumbing. By the end of this video, we'll find out was adjusting
to general society exhilarating as they discovered technology
far more advanced than they could have ever dreamed of? Or has leaving their friends
and family behind in favor of the loud
and chaotic modern world proven far too anxiety-inducing
and stressful to ever find a moment of peace at all? [music] -Hello, CJ. -Hi, how's it going? [music] -Emma. -Hi. [music] -Kate. -Hi, Anthony. How are you? [music] -Do you know how many generations your family has been part of
the Amish community? -Our family goes back to the 1600s. -Before the US was even a thing? -Yes. -Forever? -Forever. [laughs]
-I think forever is the right answer. -There's not a lot of information
on the internet. -There's not an internet database
of Amish ancestry. -No, there's not. [laughs] [music] -Which community were you a part of
and what was your daily life like? -I grew up in Eastern Pennsylvania and I was part of Old Order Amish Church,
grew up on a farm. To me, it was a super normal life. It was just the way I grew up. -The Northern Indiana Amish Community,
a more liberal community. We still didn't have cars. We didn't have electricity. Fortunately, I was able
to go to public school. Half of the school was Amish
and the other half was not Amish. -You were exposed to
new people every single day who had new beliefs that went outside
of what you were taught? -Yes.
We were very aware of the outside world. -I was a part of the Swartzentruber group. Daily life consisted of
wake up at 5:00 AM, make breakfast. Somebody has to milk the cows. Then I started helping
make money on the farm. My family did basket weaving. Taking care of my little siblings. I have 13 siblings. -So small family? -Small. [laughter] -Were there any strict rules that
really stand out to you now? -All the women,
they wear their hair the same, same type of dress,
same type of shoes and everything. I wasn't supposed to wear
a certain type of red and I wanted to wear red -just because I wasn't allowed to wear red.
-Really? There were specific tones that you weren't allowed to wear? -You weren't really supposed to wear
bright colors that made you stand out. You were supposed to wear colors
that were a little bit more modest, a cool blue or a cool gray. You weren't allowed to wear white or red. -If we went over to non-Amish
cousin's house or something, we'd watch some TV and stuff like that. -You're very much exposed to
what other lifestyles were like, but it was just shunned
to bring that home? -Yes. -We couldn't show any hair. We always had to have
our hair up in the back, always had to have something on our head that didn't show any hair in the front
or even our ears. The dresses had to be down to the ankle,
couldn't be too long or too short. Every two weeks, we had church. We were forbidden from smiling or laughing
in church or even talking loud. We had to just sit there
completely in silence. -Were you told anything
about the outside world? Like were you told that if you left
and joined the outside world something would happen? -Everything was bad;
technology, the outside world. I had seen computers. We would go to Walmart to do shopping. -You were exposed to
a bunch of technology there. They have huge TV sections and computers. -You walk like this, just peek. -Really? You felt it was bad or going
against your morals or shameful to even look at this technology? -Of course, if I was by myself
or one of my siblings was with me, then we might look
a little bit more at that stuff, but we would never touch it. We'd always just feel guilty like, "No, this is not
where we're supposed to be." -Did you feel a temptation
to look at the TV screen to understand what these computers
were doing? -Yes. It was tempting. -We were always taught that
since we were raised Amish that if we leave or don't become Amish
again and join the church, then we will probably go to hell. -Were you taught that hell was
a very literal physical place where you would just experience torture? -We were taught that hell is just a fire
seven times hotter than a campfire that just burns and burns [crosstalk]. -Seven times hotter than a campfire
specifically? -Yes, and that your body never dies. It's just burning in that fire forever. -Did you buy into that? Did you believe that
if you did something out of line you would feel that constant torture? -Yes, I did. [music] -Were there any dating rituals
or courtship rituals that existed in your community? -A group of guys get together
and they decide who they will bring to me. They bring that guy upstairs
to the girl's room which would have been my room
in the middle of the night. It's usually Saturday night. -Are you expecting someone? -No. -You weren't expecting anyone yet some nominated guy is coming up
to your room at night? -Usually, by 11:00 or 12:00. They leave him outside. The group that brings him,
they come upstairs and wake me up and ask if I would have a date with him. Even if I say no,
they will not take that for an answer. They just harass me until I say yes. -Okay, so you have no choice. -Then they leave him there
and they go home. -What would typically happen? -Back then, I was super shy. I hardly would talk,
so I would just pretend I'm falling asleep. -[laughs] Okay. You're there in the bed
pretending to fall asleep, there's a guy standing there
looking down at you? -No, he'll get into bed too. He leaves his clothes on. He takes off his shoes. -Okay, so he's polite. -Yes. Then every 15 minutes or 30 minutes, I need out." -I was terrified. -I'd be terrified too. Can you explain what a rumspringa is? -Rumspringa, you go out with your friends and you tend to get things that
you're not allowed to have, but you still hide them. One Saturday night, you might go
to Walmart with your friends and you might pick up a radio
and start listening to music, but you still hide the radio and your parents would still burn the radio
if they would find it. -Really? Wow. Did you ever do that? Were you buying radios and hiding them? -Of course, yes. -It's just a part of Amish life
at that point? -We tried sneaking in some radios
and listening to them, but my dad found them. They got smashed. -Was it nerve-wracking having that radio
around knowing that it might be found? -We were always on edge. Is he going to find it or not? Usually, he didn't let us know
he found out it. We just went out to where we hid it
and it disappeared. -Usually as in, there were many times
that you did this? -Yes.
-[laughs] -You're not allowed to have white shoes. I would go out
and get a pair of white shoes which my mother threw into the mud
after I got them. -What? That is a crime. -A lot of kids, they start drinking
and they start listening to music. -Can I tell you what my very ignorant
stereotype of what rumspringa was? -I would love to hear it. -I thought that Amish kids weren't told
about the outside world at all and had no idea
what technology was really at all. Then at the age of 16, they were told, "Guess what? There's an outside world
and you can go experience it. If you want to go experience it, you can make the decision
to come back and join us, join the church and be Amish forever, or you're going to leave forever
and be banished." -You're not encouraged to go out
and enjoy the life. You're actually encouraged
to stay within the church. You're encouraged to go to church. You're encouraged to
not partake in all of that. -I thought that parents were encouraging
their kids to go out there and experience what life was like, assuming that the kids
would be so overwhelmed that they would say, "Take me back." Then it would just be like -they're back forever. -Please, I can't deal with this beautiful show
that I'm watching. It's just too interesting. -I can't deal with the infinite
possibilities of Netflix and Spotify. It's too much. What was your education system like? -Education stops at 9th grade. As soon as you're 15,
they take you out of school. For somebody like me,
I absolutely loved school and I wanted to continue going to school. It was always my dream to go to college,
but I thought that wasn't possible for me. -You really wanted higher education? -Absolutely. I wanted to continue going to school. I loved going to school
and learning new things. -Are there any things that
you're astonished that you once believed? -I had always been told that
the world is flat. After I left, I realized it's not flat. -[laughs] How was that, realizing
that the earth was not flat? -It definitely piqued my interest because
to learn of all these other countries, Missouri or Ohio
isn't the only state in the US. -Were you taught about American history? Did you know who George Washington was? -No. [laughter] -Were there any things that
brought you joy in your daily life? -No. -No? -There's nothing to look forward to. I didn't have friends. I knew girls my age. They all seem so perfect. I had issues. I wanted to know everything about
why do we do this and this and this. I was just miserable. Sometimes, I was very hard on myself thinking that I have to
change the way I think. Like I have to stay Amish. There's no other way. -You felt like there was more
of a problem with you. -I was depressed and I didn't know it because Amish don't talk about
depression or anxiety. From a very young age,
we were told what to do. -You were more muted, so you couldn't express happiness
or good emotions and you also couldn't express
frustration or bad emotions. -Right. Everything was just stuffed inside me. -What were your biggest struggles
during that period? -I was a very independent person, but I was very frustrated about
not being able to express myself. I didn't feel like there was
a lot of room for that in the way that I dressed
and in the way that I acted. -When did you decide that you just
weren't cut out for the Amish lifestyle? -Probably at the age of 17, 18,
I started questioning things. I started just having that strong desire
not to want to be Amish. -I was 18. I went out and bought a car. My dad was like,
"Is that your car out there? I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, either you get rid of the car
or you might move out of my house," expecting that I would get rid of the car. -Right. -I was like, "If it's that important to you
that I get rid of the car, then I've gone," -I was 15 years old when I had
the thought of wanting to leave. Those few years there,
it was always in the back of my mind, look for opportunities where I could learn
about the outside world to kind of prepare myself. It was very nerve-wracking
to think about me leaving, and then thinking about
what it does to my mom my dad, but ultimately, I could learn how not to
feel like I'm obligated to make them happy. -What was your process like for leaving? -I put everything in my car
and I was like, "Okay, I'm out of here." I was driving down to Florida. I just remember being on,
I think, it was like I-95. The possibilities were endless. The road in front of me was open. I just realized how much potential I had. I'll never forget it. It was awesome. -It was a dark time in my life. Drove out the driveway. It was brutally hard. Doubting like, "Is this the right thing? What's going to happen?" You're walking away from everybody,
everything you know. It was a struggle. -It was January 10th, 2006. I remember waking up. The day before, I had no idea that I'd wake up the next morning
and realize, "This is the day." -Oh, so you didn't even have it
planned out. -My mom said that she and my dad
were going to town. I thought, "Okay, they're leaving. They're going to be gone all day. I could get away somehow." I was hiding a little track phone. -Oh, you had a phone on you. -I had a phone on me. I just haven't used it yet because
I was trying to conserve the battery. -You hadn't even tested it. Did you know how to use a phone? -No, I didn't know how to use a phone. -You just had the phone. You're like, "I have to figure this out." -I figured it out
and I dialed a number that I had that was given to me by an outsider. -Were they known for breaking Amish out? -No. I was hiding that phone number,
I didn't know who it belonged to. I called that number and a lady answered. Then she said, "Yes, I've been
expecting you to call sometime." -I've been expecting you -I asked her,
"Can you come pick me up in two hours?" She said yes and she picked me up. She was like,
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I just kept saying yes. It turns out she had left
the Amish 30 years before. -Did you have any game plan? Did you know where you were going,
how you were going to pay for all of it? -I had $50 in my pocket. I thought that would get me a long way. [laughter] -How long did it take you
to earn that much money? -Months, maybe a year. -You thought that you had
a year's salary in your pocket. You could just go out on the road
and figure things out. -I thought I could find a job immediately
and start making all this money where I can afford a house
and horses and land. Boy, was I ever wrong. [laughter] -What was the reality? -The reality was
I was broke for a long time. -What was the most pleasant surprise
about the outside world? -Just being away from the community itself
was so freeing. There's no eyes on me. I could finally be me without being judged. -Not having anybody telling me that
I'm doing something wrong or punishing me. It took me a while to realize
that I'm actually free. Be able to wear whatever I want, jeans, a t-shirt, or a dress,
whatever I choose, I could wear. In Amish, we didn't have options. I like options. -Did you have any embarrassing moments
assimilating into society at all? -[laughs] Any? [laughter] -Let's say countless. From email etiquette
to the way you introduce yourselves, even social settings. I have a very hard time knowing
when I should be talking or when I should be
letting other people talk. There is a social scene
in the Amish community, but it's like people that know each other and have known each other
for their entire life. -Right.
-It's a completely different story. -Figuring out how to eat properly
at a restaurant. The Amish eat with spoons instead of forks. -No fork in the Amish community
that you're part of? -There's forks, but they don't use them
or not for eating meals. -What are they for? -I don't know. [laughter] -It was all spoons for you. You go to a restaurant. Are you trying to use your spoon
on everything? -Yes, and then people would tell me,
"You should use your fork." I was confused. Why would I use a fork to eat? -Are you concerned at all about
sharing your experiences, knowing that someone from your community
could hear about what you're saying? -I have been sharing my experiences
on YouTube and there has been backlash. I'm not too concerned. I know where they're coming from. I'm going to get the truth out there. -If there's any of those people
watching right now somehow, is there anything you want to say to them? -Yes, get out. -[laughs] -The Amish religion is a cult. Leave. Life is much better outside of it. -No regrets on your end? -No. -Before we continue learning about
the world of formerly Amish, air travel. -That first time, I hated it. -Scary? -I definitely thought
I was in a different universe, like an alien flying through the earth. -I'd like to thank our sponsor, BetterHelp,
for our continued partnership. I've talked before about how therapy
has been really helpful for me, but therapy can be customized
to whatever is right for you specifically and can be really useful in providing
tools to help with motivation, feelings of anxiety, or depression,
or stress, or insecurity, or whatever else you might need. BetterHelp has been continuing
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giving I Spend a Day With viewers and listeners 10% off their first month
at betterhelp.com/padilla. That's betterH-E-L-P.com/padilla. Now, back to the world of formerly Amish. [music] -What's your favorite technology now? -Definitely my iPhone. -The phone. -The iPhone. [laughter] -You're addicted to it in the same way
that the rest of us are? You'll look down and realize that
you've been on Twitter for eight hours? -Yes. The time goes really fast
when you scroll on your phone. [music] -I will list out a piece of tech and I'd like to know what
your first reaction was to using said tech. Air travel? -That first time, I hated it. -Scary? -I've definitely thought
I was in a different universe, like an alien flying through the earth. -[laughs] You're just sitting in a chair,
traveling at 500 miles per hour. -That was scary. To think that I was above the clouds. -You're getting a first-person view of
what clouds actually look like in the cloud. -Yes, but it also made me throw up. -[laughs] Microwaves. -The first time I used one, I loved it. I also learned not to put anything metal
in the microwave. -[laughs] You had to learn the hard way?
-I did that and I blew up a microwave. -[laughs] Watching a movie. -It took me a while to get used to. I don't remember what the name of
the movie was but it was dogs talking. -What did you watch, Air Bud? -Yes. I was like, "Is this real? Where are these dogs?" -[laughs] "Is this real?" -I hated it. -Have you experienced virtual reality? -No, and I don't want to. -[laughs] There's a limit for
a formerly Amish person. -That's it.
-I've had the 3D glasses at a movie theater. Things coming at me. I'm like, "That's as far
as I'll go with those." -[laughs] Do you think modern conveniences
desensitize us to the smaller joys in life? I actually read a comment
from Marina that says, "When you've never listened to the radio, your mother singing as she washes the dishes
sounds like the music of the angels. When you've never watched TV, your little sister's puppet show holds
all the excitement of a heroic legend." Do you feel like that's true? -Yes, I would say
there's a lot of truth to that. We just missed out
on all the simple quality when we have our noses
stuck in the iPhone. -Yes, we're almost never allowed to
be bored or sit with our thoughts. -Exactly. -Inés is a cupcake asks what your most
special memory from your childhood is that you think kids today
will just never get to experience considering modern technology? -Hanging out in the fields,
and enjoying the sunshine, and just not worrying about anything. -Not having that obsession
over what your Instagram likes are, if you're going to be accepted
at your school because you're not popular enough online
or something like that? -I didn't have a television growing up. I didn't have a phone. I didn't have that distraction. My childhood was very carefree. -Did "Weird" Al get anything right
in his song Amish Paradise? -Yes, the whole song is right. -[laughs] Not one falsity in there? -I have watched that video over and over
and it makes me laugh every time. -[laughs] It's actually funny
to Amish people too? -It's funny. Some of it is right. -All right, you got five seconds
to shout out or to promote anything you want
directly in the camera. Go. -Check out "the amish potato" on YouTube
for the rest of my story. -Find me on Instagram @katestoltz
or on my website, katestoltz.com. -Runaway Amish Girl. You can find it on Amazon. Find me on Instagram @runawayamishgirl. -Subscribe to Anthony Padilla
for all these great interviews. -And more, but probably not. After spending a day with formerly Amish, I've come to understand just how much
strength and courage it takes to leave the only world
and family you've ever known in order to live a life that feels
most true and authentic to your own sense of self. [music] -I didn't know what a tortilla was
and I call it tortilla. -That sounds about right. I've experienced that as well. -You're not Padilla? [laughter] -Did you think my last name was Padilla? I would not be surprised. -A lot of people do that.
-No, I didn't. -The two Ls. You learned with tor--
You're like, "I've seen this quiz before. It's pronounced like a Y."
