I Read Onision's Book So You Don't Have To

hey what's up today I'm dressed as a depressed librarian mainly because I always am but also because today we're talking about books and by we I mean myself you can't talk you're a camera and by books I mean book singular I don't even like read books that much that's fraud okay so for context as I said before I don't read much in fact I don't know if I can read besides the point I didn't know this book existed because I don't go out and search for books but I have cause found it when I was researching a completely different and easy overview ages ago like more than a few months ago so like who uploads I was of course very much intrigued by his collection of books yes collection is written more than one because unlike other books by creators it's not actually from his point of view it's not like this meta commentary talking about being a youtuber or being a creator or being shane dawson it's not what it's about it's actually a fictional work about a fictional character that isn't greg kind of it but I'll get to that this video has been in the works for quite a while now a few months at least it's being worked on in parallel to other videos at the same time but I thought if I was going to do this I should do it right I should do it respectfully I'm kidding of course I don't have any intention of doing that it just took me a really long time to scrounge up the will how to tackle is like 250 page maybe 300 page behemoth they don't there's no page numbers that I don't know how big it is and I don't want to count it Greg for whatever reason whatever his justification is actually genuinely seems to care about creating good literature like interesting respectable literature seeing as he's had multiple attempts over the years the most recent one being in 2018 oh my god it's perfect I have one from 2015 not that you would know that because the book is so bare-bones it doesn't even have like a publishing date or any information on it it's just the book it so I'm genuinely surprised it actually came with all the chapters Oh joyous days now I bought my version of the book secondhand partly because I didn't want to give Greg any more money but also because I believe that the people who bought this do deserve some kind of consolidation some kind of reparation for the emotional damages that were caused by this which is an elaborate way of saying that I am writing this purchase off as a donation on my taxes ooh what's the Taxation Office gonna do put me in jail oh yeah I'm actually like I could go to jail I'll die in there you see there's a beautiful story for this specific copy of this book it's called um this is why I hate you the story behind it is quite fascinating there wasn't a note with the book I just received the book itself but you can tell by the wear and tear of the pages that they got about maybe seven pages in and then just didn't read it so you know maybe they made the first mistake but they didn't make the second after reading this I actually feel quite disappointed because despite this being in comparison to most books that just exist it's very terrible but in comparison to the rest of a Nissan's catalogue it's actually pretty decent I mean one of these books is like about some kid that gets amazing extraterrestrial powers and then kills God but God's actually three different beings but he kills them all in the worst fight scene ever this one is just about some kid with daddy issues that goes into the military I just kind of gave away how similar this is to Greg whoops I'd like to take a moment to read something out that highlights the tone of this book which is the about the author section and it just reads it doesn't matter which is very pretentious very edgy and incredibly sad but not sounding like the narrative sense like ah my favorite character died ah I'm going to die kind of sad more like oh the person writing this is really sad man they should they need to change something hmm fun fact this video is now my longest in terms of creation time it's taking a short minute whether it was worth it that's up to you just kidding it's up to me like I've had this book for a really long time now but reading it is like wading through waist-deep mud but also it's just really shallow like it's easy to critique but it's just too easy tick or take any singular one that I could bring up it's completely pointless to talk about because it's being completely over saturated with other terrible problems with this book on to the beginning which starts off very simply very very simply my name is Arthur Gale I'm a 17-year old in high school which somehow despite being the very first sentence is objectively untrue because this book is not written by all like a 17 year old fictional high school kid it's written by a 30 to 40 something a real real person named Greg who's just using this kid as like a mouthpiece for his wall of views and opinions the vitriol that aren't the speech with sometimes is so unjustified on certain topics like it doesn't make any sense for his character to even possibly think about it his mother's not in the picture so to speak which could explain some of that but you kidding me that's never brought up again it's basically just like a plot device used four times throughout the book the most that she comes up is him saying that people should be kind to him because she's dead and good old mum she told me that what's her name okay so for an example of Arthur just being really aggressive towards stuff you wouldn't have any real thought about he speaks about fame he says what does Fame other than the recognition of pointless people by a bunch of other pointless people which doesn't really sound like Arthur it kind of just sounds like Greg and Greg's experience he also talks about religion and sure if he's the most edgy nihilistic atheist kid in the world he's shouting shaking his fist at the sky is his voice cracks yes maybe that would make sense for his character but then he starts to talk about the shortcomings of marriage like some of these you could play off the religion one sure maybe he watches a bit too much ben shapiro i don't really care this is this ways that you can justify it for the narrative but marriage like autumn wouldn't even think about that he's 17 he probably doesn't care or know anything about marriage why would you why would you do this you know who doesn't know about marriage there Greg because he's beating quite a few of them the only way this could be more transparent that this is a self insert is if Arthur starts talking about taxes which now that I think I I actually think he does talk about taxes eventually despite it being only three pages long the introduction is limited with insults I can only justified any other way it just says your life is meaningless and admit you don't matter you know don't even bother trying superficial lives humanity's disease even if you hear its biggest fan there are like like hundreds of ways in which I hate you which is a classic I hate most everyone I've met dreadfully idiotic in response balding delusional self-loathing freak God I can handle criticism but stupidity is contagious that one's a favor this one's a spicy one so you better tuck him you better strap up you better scoot it down what if I even began to try and explain what was going on in my mind on a daily basis to the average person I'd be throwing in a padded cell on to chapter one and by golly is chapter one a doozy I should probably say now that the chapter names are actually genuinely amazing because they're terrible no no because they're good though on this one is cold there is no point which is followed by such astounding gems as need to breed I like that one crying at my feet that one's a good one prayed away rejected and aroused no future here Oh faith in humanity it's just another religion I've listed about seven chapters out of nine they are all amazing you can also tell immediately and when looking at this that I very clearly underestimated how much right ink I would need to complete this book uh so speaking of my notes for the sake of brevity and respect for the fact you probably have stuff to do today and you can't just watch a 5 hour video of me talk about a book I'm just gonna be relying on my notes from hero names winging it the first chapter is very strange because it does hotly exist to introduce you to Arthur's life but also just kind of devolves into like pretentious nihilistic like exposition every once in a while for no reason the very first paragraph is of course him complaining about living in a suburban abomination amazing the fact that he can't tag posters on the wall so they have to hang in frames and that his dad gives him a lift my heart is aching and then to prove my point that he does a randomly Spencer exposition it starts talking about religion because he's dad is religious which I mean kind of makes sense and then goes back into school started early blah blah blah I'm going to school the nature of our daily behavior what the hell are we talking about we're now on human nature and then he just says humans shouldn't speak because therefore they can't be a racist sexist or homophobic this is chapter 1 page 2 he then starts talking about his classmates one of them being Chris who we never hear of again as far as I'm aware or maybe I just forgot maybe I just shunned that memory away who knows he describes Chris as a word I can't use but it has to do with I join you encounter even described it but he does describe Chris in another way but I can say I've noticed for some time chris has an adorable little neck and this isn't going where you think it's gonna go I imagine if I wrapped my hands around his throat using only half my strength I could very easily snap his neck dude he's so cool ah he then immediately transitions into talking about a completely different person that yeah Jessica or something that he uses to talk about princess syndrome you can probably imagine what he talks about he takes way too long to do it though it's like two paragraphs god I'm getting bored goes back into you know just generally hating people then over to hating fat people then back to hating religion we're like four pages here I know this is probably confusing but there's no better way for me to describe this it's hard for me to keep up and I'm the one who's written the notes like I'm reading this right off my notes oh and at the very end she says I'm done ranting let's get back to my day and then there's one paragraph describing what he what he does for the rest of the day and then the next three are talking about his dad's girlfriend that he hates which is what I like to call ranting someone who's in chapter 1 is kind of strange because it does very much read like the first day that we get to hear about in a journal of some kid but like how does it is just like an easy ons manifesto chapter 2 is where I started getting very frustrated with this book I started just crossing out entire pages and just yeah mainly crossing stuff out because I didn't want to read it and it was incredibly pointless Arthur starts this chapter by saying it's been weeks since I last wrote in this journal you could assume this was due to laziness but I really suffer from that degenerative disease because he's too perfect this highlights two brothers one with the book and one with the character in his room I will start with the character because that's the most interesting because it's about Greg Greg writes I thought to be this insanely tough always good always smart really handsome alpha male of a human being even could even call him that he may just be god Arthur was almost never wrong I can only think of two instances where he's not completely in power and somebody is talking down to him like he's wrong and even then it never comes back to bite him he never really suffers at his own hand because he's always too smart he's always too fast so I was too painful he can take on like multiple people in a fight at the same time even when he has no fighting experience he has no training he just he just does it he's always the most powerful being in the Dragon Ball universe he's like Goku but I hate him the second problem with this very first paragraph is to do with writing where he says it's been weeks since I last wrote in this journal he continuously uses time and the passage of time but in many ways it doesn't really make any sense some chapters he'll say it's been weeks other chapters we can assume weeks of past or months even but he doesn't say so by the time he joins the military and is in the military we don't really have a consistent timeline as to how long he's being there he says months and he says he's been stationed here for a week here for two weeks this for a few months but then time happens in between them and we don't know how long it's been he also never celebrates a birthday as far as I can remember so it's basically just a guess as to how old he is by the end of the book he could be like 20 it's just never explained but he keeps using periods of time and it doesn't make any sense I'm just confused this is the chapter where it brings up his mother and he does actually name her name is Sarah Gale who he says taught me from day one to never feel sorry for myself as she told me a lot of things before she died I could not be more grateful to her and I just no she's basically just applied she's dazed ex machina i just read ahead a little bit night as this this one is my least this is my least favorite chapter i think actually there's a lot to go over first one being that he describes his dad's girlfriend limp legs dangling from the side of a dumpster with like garbage stains and that all over us basically saying that she's been victus victim to some horrific crime all multiple is less disturbing to see them her kiss his dad now i get the principle behind the matter it's the dumpster scenario that i don't understand those words may annoy you but don't worry it gets infinitely worse speaking of sports I've fantasized about a massive weapon going up in the middle of a major sporting event he then like spends the rest of the paragraph saying sure it would be incredibly sad the horror I know mean why the logical standpoint who cares you just said you wanted a weapon to go off and a major sporting event we are well into the whole T word landscape but this isn't you can't get away with this and surprisingly he only talks about that for that paragraph he immediately moves on to how useless sport stars are and how they collect millions for kicking a ball around and blah blah blah and lose I terrible human being this honestly psychopathic rambling goes on for about a whole one and a half pages for no reason and then immediately transitions into none of this is why I'm updating my journal ironically despite my murderous imagination I've managed to find myself in a completely contradictory position the truth is I recently started dating a girl at school named Ashley ignoring the murderous intent part which is you know tall water is dating someone a contradictory position to wanting to kill people I think that's correct also what the hell Arthur you've got nothing but hate him the entire human species up until this point why would you date one of them the honest answer is she clearly likes me and I am available the first part of that that still stands you didn't just prove that you've just stayed in a different point likely though we get to start talking about romance intimacy which is Greg's strong suit and my strong suit I mean he writes about it a lot he's not very good at writing it though it's very entertaining I says Ashley is a good-looking girl blah blah blah whatever I really like her smile too if that wasn't enough my body like most every male body on this planet demands I be physical with someone so why not her detachment is his specialty I've crossed out the next two paragraphs see if you can guess why by the first sentence this is the human condition I didn't cross out one of the existential paragraphs because it actually includes one of my favorite lines in the entire book in these things he's talking about like freewill and existential stuff useless but I need find a coin entertaining because he doesn't know what freewill is he says if I had free will I could choose to be gay I could choose to be happy when I looked in the mirror I could choose to enjoy life to its fullest basically trying to prove that free will doesn't exist but that's not what free will is freewill is about making choices not just like overriding what you are and it's very caught you can't free world doesn't mean you can choose to be gay that's you don't choose to be gay that's not a choice okay isn't it a choice it's like a thing that you just ah I'm not gonna read this part I'll just put it up there or something I don't want to read it but I think you should just know it exists now this is by far the best line in this entire chapter like no questions asked Ashley's voice is one I could easily enjoy listening to for some time her facial proportions are beyond sufficient and she's generally healthy like me more so than me ladies get you a guy that will into your voice for some time not all the time because you know you gotta vote always time to and even most the time just some like maybe like 20 minutes a day you know get you a man like that this chapter ends by leading into the third with basically this guy John that I don't remember if he comes up again like after this like whole arc but essentially John violates Ashley's space or whatever or it's like sexually charged and Arthur's like I'm gonna kill him he's giving me an excuse to boot him up he's called him like a primate essentially he's saying it's primitive you know he's a pervert a teenage boy that only thinks about sex which goes on for most of this page and most of the second one um but I what's the action he placed his hand on Ashley's hips so that they could talk that very much can be you know sexual and invading someone's space but maybe if you're gonna talk about it for like more than a page describe it with more malicious intent cuz I ain't really feeling that from he placed his hands on her hip or a hand on her hip that's not really enough to justify what happened was next the first paragraph of crying at my feet also known as chapter three also known as electric boogaloos number two it says like oh yeah I'm gonna fight him I know it's a bad decision but to say I really had a fair choice in the matter he's a joke but the only joke here is you because of course he had a choice do you think yeah like people didn't go around like punch people for doing stuff there's usually there's a like a peaceful option this part will be quite long but a little basically the only part of the chapter I actually talk about because this is where we get to the flight scene I wanted to be really dynamic but I don't want to move the pages and lose my spot he comes up he's wearing a trench coat or something I actually don't really remember yeah no he's wearing a trench coat a black trench coat I think he's wearing face paint as well or maybe not at this point he says John are you ready to hurt yeah you razor heard and he's [ __ ] he's like jojo's his stand comes out and like beats him up it doesn't happen but it would be way more interesting ever did John no doubt felt somewhat uncomfortable seeing these words come from the lips of someone who looked like me mainly a massive nerd that wasn't true I intentionally wore a trench coat and all black that day because he's so cool to appear much larger than I was okay I've been certain some jokes into this isn't a joke this one is not a joke this was a strategy I learned from butterflies butterflies better known as king of the jungle ferocious beasts they have you can kind of see hints of it before in the other chapters but this is the first one where you can genuinely see that Greg is trying to write Arthur or his selfie and set to be this insanely cool alpha with lions such as John tried to act like everything was cool you know his jock friends are standing behind him after taking a brief look into their eyes it was obvious both of them thought their lives could be in danger mainly because they were gonna candid themselves to avoid the cringe John swore at me calling me the popular emasculating word goth kids are normally subjected to this is needlessly wordy pretentious and I'm not even actually sure what word he meant to say Arthur immediately punches him in the throat then proceeds to break the flow of the fight by spending the next paragraph talking about the possible damage after punching someone to the neck could cause and health risk and place safety on really I just like kind of zoned out at this point the blue I delivered to his throat shocked Jon's jock friend looks like he wanted to help John but I screamed threatening to murder him and he backed off I think I specifically said I'll stab you on the jugular what you believe meathead which is extremely he even says it's a mouthful the line off there and also it's really crunchy and you don't why would you say that just say I'll kill you that it's worked time and time again all right it's a classic it'll work this is where the hero complex of the whole thing starts to come in you know I stood confidently as he watched as I watched him get back up because you know sucker-punched him John returned to his feet and I let him hit me a few more times I knew there was a good chance I would be expelled if I didn't make the fight look at least somewhat even which doesn't make any sense once I was bored of my face being tenderized like the meat of a freshly slaughtered animal I decided to break his arm this moment there's four instances in that paragraph as you may have heard by me essentially screaming the Matthew where he states that he's like always in control there's never appointing this fight where despite being I think he's shorter than him actually I think he says he's shorter than John and probably weaker because John's a jerk where he's he's never like not in control he's always in control of the fight even though John would realistically turn him into a like trash cube he then goes around saying like quite gracefully I did this maneuver and stepped here and then got his arm in the position and then twisted and then slammed my boot down in him people don't fight like that I don't know if Greg's actually been in a fight before that's not that ain't it he says that he knows this because his mom didn't dis change him philosophical lessons but also how to defend myself and destroy my enemies but I thought she was dead for a long time how when what the hell happened this is a reoccurring thing as well every time he finishes a fight or he does something that's like really alpha badass somebody comes in that wasn't there before and is really spooked and scared by the scary man which wouldn't happen in this case it's the principal I'm pretty sure all the vice principal or whatever the hell who looks completely freaked out because you know he was a mess and he's covered in blood or whatever a principal would not be freaked out by a kid being bloodied after a fight they would be like what the hell are you doing and just go back and do paperwork they've got bigger issues to deal with that ain't you ain't the toughest person they've seen all right this is a pretty good party so what we start getting like legal and stuff the loss of my tooth in addition to the cuts and bruises on my face were enough to convince them that the damages were mutual especially considering it only took two strikes for me to defeat John like he's some kind of boss while he had struck me around seven times also a reoccurring theme they always hit him more than he hits them but he's just like so super tough that he never gets knocked out despite me starting the fight the action of breaking his arm was self-defense I made it clear to the police that I was losing my grip on him and had I not done what I did he would surely do to my face even more damage than he had already done the argument was one of the most important aspects of my of justifying self-defense which isn't how that works I don't it's just so unbelievable this is the first out of two times that I can remember the police show up and both times the police do not do their jobs they have no clue what they're doing like this is just wrong 100% wrong breaking his arm is escalating it and you can't do that it's the same kind of principle behind somebody coming at you with a baseball bat and you not being allowed to immediately shoot them you're escalating the fight a little bit you're not really supposed to do that there is 100% 100% there would be some kind of legal ramification like that he would be sued there would be some kind of claim against him he wouldn't get away scot-free he doesn't get some kind of punishment but it's just being suspended from school which is completely separate he could be he's probably gonna be suspended anyway because he's a terrible student he starts the next chapter by being suspended saying it's been weeks since I went to school unfortunately for me my girl friend is visiting me that visited me at home a few times since not really relevant Ashley and I have made him a number of times if anything what I did to John brought us closer together in the long run which is every single time anything intimate happens with someone who's dating it's always in the first or second paragraph in the chapter it's basically just like yo basically things are pretty good in my life also I'm Mackin my girlfriend's face when going at it with slam and cheeks I don't really this chapter also includes the line I am an alpha and ironically that's oh and I will be too the day I die so it's not this isn't like some video s a weird conspiracy about how this is all about him being in it he says it he says he's an alpha I don't even need to bring this up close because you can see it that entire page is just talking about religion I do not care I have actually written down a note here it's pretty long about how Arthur and Ashley should have broken up after that like he was wrong to do that that was immature it was ignorant it was intolerant should have done that should have been a peaceful option should have done something else whatever so Arthur actually should break up here Steve my book and that should be a lesson for him don't be it's not good character development but it would be better like there would be some kind of growth there but it doesn't any learns nothing from this and continues to use violence for the rest of the book and it really sucks so now it's chapter form now we get on to rejected and aroused which is my favorite chapter name but not really that great of a chapter he comes to school after being suspended wearing face paint which I believe is that part like that's what that picture is he was like a skeleton I'm not sure if that's a skeleton but sure whatever he's got the trench coat on there's silver tooth he has that you've got replaced but the one that John I don't know that look kind of makes it look like a pirate now like a weed skeletal pirate goes to school gets called into the principal's office gets told off says you don't know me and he's like I know you I know who you are and then he's like no don't my mom died and then the principal just goes yeah anyway what's with the face paint and he gets really sad about the principal not bowing down and being like oh my god I'm so sorry you lost your mom when a bunch people lose parents at multiple stages of their life and they don't really use it to like try and guilt-trip people goes to the bathroom and like cries or something about that about not being in control I'm used to the being the strongest one in every room someone tries to befriend him I actually don't know who it is the Chris the guy who he wanted to that guy comes in and says I'm not your enemy dude and then he ignores him he says man we're on the same side and then he just says no you're not and then leaves like he's just objectively jek blah blah blah ashley is sitting with her friends he's joining them and then just like he's really rude maybe because he's sad maybe not maybe he's just always like this says Ashley can we did you lose it idiot friends and she she doesn't she just sits there cuz it's like what the hell are you doing you're supposed to be dating is supposed to be kind of nice to my friends or something then acting like the entitled toddler he is Heath's and then she apologizes to him that's that's this is his view on relationships and women this is eerily similar to something that's happened in Craig's life wouldn't you say he's talking about you know I was fixing an idea that she only liked me for one thing and that an alpha male pulling away from the pack of cackling turkeys would only make her feel weak like he was emasculating him and not just being a dick atha [ __ ] up and gets rewarded the novel it's the entire chapter Arthur messes up so bad doesn't get punished doesn't learn anything and gets rewarded why do I try why I'm not sure you can tell that's how far we're through the book right now we'll start getting quicker first chapter again ashlynn and I have been together quite a while now point on assigning me how much time that's been I didn't worry about the first time we lump together as I just haven't felt compelled to update my journal oh man it happened a few weeks ago and blah blah blah blah blah blah I don't care basically got laid I don't know why great care so much about telling us the path is being laid man I crushed out like this entire chapter and I didn't read this I'll put this up somewhere oh my god so bad it's just him getting laid and then also saying my views and feelings are put into question but they're actually not because he never changes really throughout the entire book the only real thing that he relates to relationships is a loyalty chapter 7 blood means nothing this is where stuff starts to get uh quite incredibly unbelievable he's going on like a some kind of family visit with his dad and his dad's girlfriend and whatever he's done tells him to turn down the music ignores him and he's kind of being distant to his dad and you know blah blah blah we need what's your problem kid your girlfriend sucks she's a fat slob he uses meaner words I'm just not going to say them and then his dad doesn't immediately lunges at him it's just choking him I would bit like why would he's dad we've had his dad's never been shown as violent before and then all of a sudden he's kid he starts kicking he's down in the face multiple times like breaking his nose or whatever he's like kicking his chest in his neck he's trying to get him off him no like gee I'm going to die he he's choking me oh my god body hits the dash or whatever he's like ah runs he Sprint's out he's he hasn't got a shoe he's running for his life it's really serious you know what's what's going on like oh my god this is starting to get really intense then the police come he's I think he's crying at this point you know like he's he's he's like covered in blood right he's he's on the sidewalk no shoe ligature marks at this point probably because it's been quite a while and the police come up to him and he says I've you know he's hit me now my dad just tried to choke me got to kill me I'm running away from running away from him can you help me and then the the police the police arrest me do you know how unbelievable that is the officers ignored me how did they pay attention to anything I had to say shirt mugs don't show up as easily as someone's booting your face yes but also choke marks still show up and they would probably believe a kid I can do that right now I could have gone to a police officer and just say my parents hit me and they would they would drop everything without blood on my shirt you know how easy that would be this paragraph is uh summarizes the whole thing it's kind of hard to read because I've crossed it out multiple times the judge let me walk because I guess my father didn't press charges I mentioned my father attacked me first to multiple people but no one really cared they only cared what he had to say I was just a property of my father to them legal slaves that's all the government treats kids like and you wonder why I hate you people where the hell are you and what universe would nobody listen to a kid who's saying he's getting attacked by his dad so unlikely also legal slaves you kidding me in Chapter 8 no future here not really an interesting chapter the only really funny thing is saying sad thing I says I've slept with my girlfriend more times in the last month than he has with his girlfriend ever put a shawl my orgasms bring him bring me more joy than his religion ever brought him as well kind of strange kind of that's incredibly strange this is the pond where introduces that he wants to go into the military which doesn't make any sense because he hasn't shown any ambitions towards anything other than like slamming his body against his girlfriend's a lot so writing him to want to go into the military doesn't make any sense because the military requires quite a lot of you know commitment which he doesn't have he he refuses to eat a meal that he's his father whatever the hell he's coming after he's like I don't want to eat he's dying screams call the cops the cops come and he's that doesn't line here he just says my son refused to eat food the dinner he refused to eat dinner and the police Turnstone just goes what's your problem kid as if they wouldn't be like I thought man people getting shot others is you know like yeah surely you're not gonna waste your time with this and the officer says we're gonna straighten this kid's attitude out do we need to take you in and I was genuinely expecting because it turns the page of it of this I was genuinely expecting this rate and then they beat me so really this is like just another instance of him victimizing himself literally no reason whatsoever also he misspells appetite chapter nine whatever I don't really care anymore this is the chapter in which the GED or whatever the American thing comes back and easy.you military Time Lord talk about jobs and next essential crisis he goes to military training meets his drill sergeant who's like a terrible person or a monster or whatever and says if we had the energy old privacy to gratify ourselves which you can imagine what that means we would be doing it doing it to ever it blah blah blah I skipped most of this chapter oh wow this was apparently very terrible I need this would take some time but this is taking way longer than I thought it would and the battery's running out on this microphone so I actually have to I'll be back I'll be back in like two seconds which will be like a day for me [Music] yeah so as it turns out I actually really shouldn't have done that under my current circumstances like there was too much of a workload and it was it was very strenuous and had a noticeable negative impact on my well-being but I am very committed to not to finishing this per se but to making sure I never have to think about it again I couldn't shoot a continuously because the first shoot was like two and a half hours long and they needed to do things so I thought I'll cut up the clips I'll manage the footage before I start the second shoot foolishly because I wanted this video to be maximum 40 minutes long and it was over 40 minutes long already like this thing is cursed so from now on I'm being super brief about this let's make this mistake a reality teamwork makes the dream work your parents don't love you she's just gonna be perfect isn't it whatever his current girlfriend's name is is axe disinterested in him like a week after he enters the military which is extremely justified but also comes out of nowhere because again he sucks at writing so what's the point he also says he doesn't mind because if the roles were reversed he knows that he'll be doing the exact same thing and would already have a girlfriend within weeks because I cannot stress this enough he is the perfect human being and all women must flock to him without without further hesitation just get on that I'm not gonna say it Arthur then somehow in his military life meets a new friend is it a male friend don't be stupid her name is Corey and together there's nothing heat they can't do with both of their skills combined and the content of their character being equally as important they have to go through a mandatory suicide prevention course which includes live reenactment of whatever and they have to solve it with only their kind words and they are of course one of the few groups that actually succeeds and gets them like a perfect grade or whatever because when I think of Arthur the first words that come to my head is empathy wholesomeness maybe a robot kind words definitely not a Harvard University learning AI designed to find the breaking point in which point like a human would just murder somebody else because they find them so annoying it's and kindness soon afterwards Arthur calls out his training instructor for insulting the troops during a training exercise which violates the rules of the acronym insert here and turns out Arthur's actually wrong in this situation but don't worry you Arthur lovers all two-and-a-half of you because they pull the most cuff out excuse that I could have possibly thought of just to make sure that Arthur actually isn't wrong ask the courts an excerpt from that this acronym but it turns out he was only given an excerpt and the full statement may sit that so that he is actually wrong in this situation which is so dumb because even when Arthur is wrong he's not even wrong because you couldn't have you couldn't have known that he was given the wrong answer I I want to drop this book but it's got the microphone on it I paid so much for this thing he explains that him and girl number two haven't fallen into the classic guy-girl relationship because there's no romantic relationship between them but he does gratify himself to her all the time so I mean yeah technically that's not every guy girl relationship congratulations you [ __ ] weirdo here's a fifteen dollar gift card to Applebee's choke on it he likes to remark that Corey enjoys making fun of uber tough Airmen that try to be super manly which doesn't include Arthur because he's a nice guy trademark except that he's also super tough which means he exists on like both ends of the spectrum radically without ever stepping foot closer to the middle which just it's like that's like saying gravity doesn't exist it it shouldn't happen it's also with this plant where he reveals that he wants to volunteer for every possible placement because he doesn't like the idea of innocent people getting hurt and him not doing anything about it but he just said not four pages ago that he hates basically everyone helped me I'm help I'm soaked okay his books actually getting like super annoying to hold so I'm just gonna put this on my actual body now like for real one of those volunteering applications goes through and he ends up saying that he's going to South Korea or the other what at one of the careers he says this turquoi while they're sitting watching movie on their bed and she's like oh that's a shame and he goes to kiss her but she says that she they shouldn't but also says I love you and that is a direct quote and he says it back because it turns out she's actually K but we don't know that yet and even when we know that it makes this extremely confusing regardless help me laugh will it help actually somehow comes back into his life you know the first girl that he from high school and calls him and is really angry because he doesn't know that her brother was dead because he was shot in a school shooting he flies back home being the good man he is and as soon as he arrives she like comes on to him pretty heavily and you know being a stoic man he is he contemplates the morality of giving in to this kind of lust and even letting her do this because I'm just kidding it's felt like half a paragraph he basically doesn't even think about it he just says oh well this is what she wants so it's her fault I'll let her have my body she is she's like I'm the only reason she hasn't shot herself yet he actually says that oh oh push-ups are basically our way of simulating slow and painful punching is an excerpt from a part of a book that basically doesn't even matter it's just where he's being an alpha male it's not important it's not relevant but you know come on you had you just had to hear that he also starts dating another person that's not a surprise her name is Rachel but he basically just refers to her as booty because as he puts it god damn or whatever the hell and I don't want to say that's you know kind of sexist or kind of misogynistic but it also is so this is not really an argument as it turns out she is too first person that Arthur is dated that isn't the same races have all the same skin color which is something he specifically points out and then says but and then a positive which implies that the first part about her being a different race is the negative and I I think you're supposed to infer that it's referring to that there's a lack of experience in that department but also are you [ __ ] kidding me she has like more melanin in her skin she doesn't have fangs what the [ __ ] we also meet a nice man named Amen Austin who is a homophobic piece of trash and possibly racist we don't really know it's never um it's not really implied but knowing Greg he's that's exactly what he is he's basically just a super bad villain and he says he's gonna bang Rachel you know in front of Arthur and telling him that as if to gloat and you know that scene from perks of being a wallflower where Charlie blacks out and it's it's supposed to be this impactful moment that shows the start of the downward spiral of mental health that we see and also shows that we can't really trust him because he is somewhat of a loose cannon we're not really supposed to like him this is a flaw that he has it is not sexy for it is genuinely harmful to his life imagine that but none of the impact and it's just like he blacks out and literally he literally just babu's himself and just look and just takes his eyeball out he rips a man's eye out and he's he is he's our hero in this story so yeah he defends his fair maidens honor because of course she couldn't do it herself and just booga-booga vibhum jumps onto his face and ropes his eye out so who could can you guess who's going to be he's the only and main transparent two-dimensional villain for the last like four chapters it's not very long kori arrives at their new base and the three of them super hit it off and they're all happy they're having a good time they're eating fruit they mentioned me oh no Arthur's going into his I hate dad rage mode and she just u-turns and just goes right straight back into [ __ ] dad you don't know me kind of territory Laurie and Rachel's not getting along because rachel is bi but also still dating Arthur and as Arthur puts it there's no romantic physical relation between him and Cory because as he puts it that's just how most gay people work but I would argue that's how all gay people work because that's the definition of being gay Emin arstan and the boys try to [ __ ] with Cory's vibes or something because she's gay and once again in the the second time and maybe five seconds he defends his fair lady's despite both of them being in the military and having military training and theoretically being able to at the very least help him in a fight but as you can see here on this map this area is under construction with this this part of the land being reserved for Greg's [ __ ] alpha male ego that he feels the need to implant on every single character that he has but a bing bada boom everything goes wrong finally please punish Arthur just kidding it's not a third that gets punished Austin and the fellas just lie and say that Corey told them that she was gay so she was gonna get kicked down in a few weeks and then they just wait for a bit and for no reason decided to do the nono thing with Rachel and friendly I actually cannot even remotely say the word but it's the one where you do and it's it's worse than murder but we'll say that it's worse than no to what you Arthur proclaimed I could never let this happen to my girls and and this is like it's not like a bad thing but it just sounds like he's talking about his children that's how that's how dad's refer to their daughters anyway he fights off like some of them maybe most of them I actually can't remember I think it kills a few people but then the best part of the book happens and he dies he actually gets killed but the bad thing is he he's like a modern now because he was such a hero but he's dead like I could he dies I'm so excited the f was written by Corey and Rachel or something I don't care I didn't read it Arthur was dead I'm done I'm finally released from this prison there's also a bunch of other parts of the that aren't really relevant to like any kind of point I was making about him being an alpha male or just terrible writing or the time thing but I didn't really have I can't really show them in any sort of way unless [Music] [Music] give it like for real thank you for watching if you've seen this all the way to the end that's a substantial amount if you'll add a gun I just touched the microphone sorry about that they have much coming soon I actually have no clue it's the Koran find out hopefully I won't make another one of these videos that's like two hours long and I'll be able to release it Vaughn Sunnah thank you again for watching I really really hope that you enjoyed it and thanks for supporting me bye [Music]

Channel: Kappa Kaiju

Views: 2,467,312

Keywords: Kappa, Kaiju, this is why i hate you, book review, onision, onision book, onisionspeaks, book, stones to abbigale, onision speaks, review, terrible, awful

Id: 2IiiR75XA8Y

Length: 53min 16sec (3196 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 09 2019