i read Drake's poetry book and it's daylight robbery

well this book is definitely in the top five worst books that I've read so far this year and spoiler alert it's not five four three or two my name is Jack Edwards welcome to the channel when Drake announced that he was releasing his own poetry collection he took to Instagram to say I don't know if I've ever wanted people to buy or support something more in my life which is crazy because on the same website he sells these he also sells hotline bling pool floats I think we should buy and support that so anyway I decided to trust William drakespeare over here and buy Drake's first ever poetry collection this book right here was 11 which now that I've read it I think might be 11 too much in total I paid 34 including shipping and somehow managed to accidentally buy two meaning I spent 68 68 that is painful for me to think about right now at least one of them can be used to soak up my tears Alexa play I'm upset by Drake because I'm upset anyway it was available from on his website Drake related where you can also treat yourself to a range of Drake scented candles a 500 pair of socks or a 4 000 blanket just think about that for a second anyway this is called titles ruin everything a stream of Consciousness by Kenza Samir and Aubry Graham an alternative title to this could have been if you're reading this it's too late because by the time you get to reading this your money is already down the drain and so the first thing that I think we should talk about is when you open up the book and you see the dedication now the dedication page of a book is where the author pours their heart out it's a chance for someone to Express gratitude for the most important people in their lives you know I think it's so special to be able to say I wrote all of these words and get every single one of them is for you there's something so beautiful and tender about that so who does Drake dedicate his book to this is for all the dogs not even a specific dog just all of them all of the above and really and truly once I saw this page I knew this was going to be an experience maybe this was a sign that the book was going to be zoo suit like the dog the dog does have a QR code on it and when you scan the QR code it takes you to this page this says I made an album to go with the book they say they missed the old Drake girl don't tempt me and then in all caps for all the dogs I like the idea that he's shouting that bit like as if it wasn't clear the first time now he really wants you to know this is for the dogs so I guess maybe this book was just an elaborate way of announcing an album and I do honestly think that Drake might just be trolling with this and you'll see why in a minute when you open the pages there's not a lot on them each page just has one line some have zero honestly I think you'd see more lines at a drake party than in his poetry collection if you know what I'm saying like where is the rest of it is the Poetry collection in the room with us did they accidentally print the rest of it in white ink instead of black is it written with one of those invisible markers like when you were a kid you know when you were telling you would write a poetry with like an invisible pens that no one could actually read it maybe that's what Drake decided to do I don't know maybe that's what his Publishers advised I don't know because really this can't be all this can't be all that we get this is essentially a collection of Instagram captions and maybe now is a good time to return to the title calling this a stream of Consciousness is so bold it's sort of just a bunch of random unrelated quips dude that's not a stream that's a series of Puddles at best none of them are actually really linked and stream of Consciousness implies a continuous flow so by definition this is not this isn't a stream of consciousness at all it's actually the exact opposite of this they teach this to 10 year olds with invisible markers I'm sorry I feel like my hateritis is flaring up today I don't mean to be a hater I actually like Drake I like Drake's music and there are some great lines in here but this is kind of outrageous let me read you some of the Instagram caption poetry let me read you some of the Poetry let's go for a swim in this stream of Consciousness shall we I love this one I can't read the signs hun I left my glasses at home not Drake giving should have gone to Specsavers not Drake saying hun like he's in the love Island Villa dead serious and then on the next page till I die Canadian money does not fold did you plagiarize that from Louis Theroux my money don't jiggle jiggle it falls this one's actually kind of true for Drake and I do like this one I am the soundtrack for lives that go on without me this one is insane there are two types of women in this world women who like giving head and women who I don't like he really he really is just saying things at this point and calling it poetry I mean why not what's mine is mine not yours and then on the next page in Brackets hot included I'm not for you really starting to put two and two together like come on CU calculator already got a career I can't convince you that I love you for a living actually I kind of like that one imagine me shifting my focus from world domination to you and they say love is dead forget William Blake this is William Drake your taste in men isn't exactly Michelin star I have to say I'm so gonna use that saved you in my phone as never again just so I don't forget they just don't get better do they we started from the bottom now we're here still at the bottom my talents include a pen your talents include a bed we're both skilled nonetheless honestly the fact that Taylor Swift had to change that lyric about the mattress in her song better than revenge on Taylor's version and meanwhile Drake is publishing this tell me something I don't know brackets like your motives swimming in regret is not cardio forget swimming I'm drowning in my regret at purchasing this Hearts break as much as they beat a lesson I know too well but hate to teach you were in my dream last night they call that a nightmare right please go mind the business that pays you minimum wage this is Drake calling me poor and like 168 Pages Everest is probably easier to get over than you my therapist told me I need to stop listening to what people tell me but if I take her advice wouldn't I be listening to what people tell me I mean he made a point I guess free all the homies dealing with Max sentences and free all the women dealing with bare minimum feminism that could be a line out of a Greta girl with film damn if jumping to conclusions was an Olympic sport you wouldn't have just won my heart you would have won Gold oh my God if we're talking about jumping to conclusions just call me jump man am I right having trouble figuring out if you're a devil missing a horn or a unicorn I'm not making this up you're not thugging you're kidding one-sided beef is not beef it's chicken I kind of see these working in a song it's just when you see them written down in black and white on a piece of paper you really start to consider all the trees that died for this apple added edit text so you can reset what you really meant is that resentment should have warned up for that one Drake because that one was a stretch and finally perhaps my favorite one of all is tell Guinness I know who the most annoying is and that wins the Guinness World Record for my favorite poem of all time also just a note to remind you that this was written by two people this took two people to write two people co-signed this two people at least thought this was a good idea and when he announced this book I saw a lot of people commenting Please Release this as an audiobook um which I think would just be a song and so because I'm Petty one thing about me is I am Petty I timed how long it would take to read this book You Know cover to cover how long would this actually take you to read five minutes and eight seconds for eleven dollars that is two dollars a minute two dollars per minute of reading this book somebody called Travis Scott because that is not a fair trade in fact for context the song champagne poetry is five minutes and 39 seconds meaning the song champagne poetry is longer than his actual poetry I think the cover of this is blue because that's how it will leave you feeling also since I spent 68 dollars here I just wanted to let you know that today's video is very kindly sponsored by Squarespace Squarespace is the all-in-one platform if you want to build a website or an online brand with literally hundreds of really incredible templates and this is ideal because it means that no coding experience is required to build the website of your dreams you can completely customize one of their templates there's also loads of really great features including the blogging feature so you can tell your audience what you're up to what's going on behind the scenes and also the Analytics tool meaning you can see what people are responding well to and therefore what you should make more of so if this sounds like something you would be interested in you can head to squarespace.com for a free trial and then when you're ready to launch your Swanky new website you can use the code Jack Edwards at squarespace.com Jack Edwards to get 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain you're welcome and now I thought that to end this video I would try my hand at writing my own Drake poetry so here we go might pull an Elon Musk and make you an ex we made a movie and it was the bomb I call that Oppenheimer you can be the Barbie to my Ken minimum requirement is that you're a 10. I hear police sirens in the distance at least tonight one of us is a wanted man I should call you phone signal because we're losing connection call me the Titanic submersible because I'm expensive but solo call me the Titanic submersible because I'm so rich I'm about to implode used to be close now we're stranger things I call that Millie Bobby frown she says she likes Harry Potter I said I'll be your Drake oh Malfoy I'm sorry Jake if you're looking for a collaborator for book number two call me on my cell phone also I can't stop thinking about that tweet that's like Drake is the kind of guy to fall in a tiger enclosure and be like nice kitty and on that note we'll leave it right there thank you so so much for watching this video I hope you enjoyed it you can follow me on Instagram and on Tick Tock for more book content you can also subscribe if you're new I have loads of videos about similar things all love to Drake there's some fun moments in this book there are some really fun lines and I honestly think it might all just be one big joke so this has been my review of titles ruin everything and Drake ruined poetry all the best stay in touch have a wonderful day and I'll catch you very very soon bye [Applause]

Channel: Jack Edwards

Views: 289,223

Keywords: drake, poetry, drake book, drake poetry, poems, review

Id: Tx5e5e2vKS0

Length: 10min 21sec (621 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 25 2023